


Invincible I & II

by nightcloak666



Category: Free!
Genre: AU to season 2, Anorexia, Anti-Hero, Anti-Heroes, Arranged Marriages, Brotherhood, Cannibalism, Cars, Character Development, Crossdressing, Drama, Drugs, Eating Disorders, F/M, Family, Family first, Family is everything, Fluff, Funny, Gen, Hatred, It is not an injury, Kisumi and Sousuke are best friends, Love, Loyalty, M/M, Mafia AU, Magical Realism, Manipulation, Millionares, Mind Games, Original Character(s), Other, PR relationships, Piercings, Police, Racing, Revenge, Secrets, Serious, So many lies, Sousuke hides a secret, Swimming, Tattoos, Tortures, Violence, Yakuza, alternative universe, difficult subjects, long fic, media, murders, not for easily triggered, nothing is black and white, plotwists, power, sensitive, side makoharu, side reigisa - Freeform, so many games, sourin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2018-02-20 19:16:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 84
Words: 410,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2439821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightcloak666/pseuds/nightcloak666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who's going to betray them all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Invincible I is an AU to Free with SouRin as main characters and couple. It also introduces new characters and their stories. Invincible II is a continuation of the story and shifts focus to others characters, however, Sousuke and Rin remain important to the plot. 
> 
> Mafia AU with magical realism. Plot twists, family, brotherhood, secrets, love and loyalty.  
> Please see tags for additional info.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”  
> ― Oscar Wilde

Rin woke up and seeing that it is still dark in the room he turned on his side to look at the clock. Seeing it’s only 3am he sighed frustrated. He hated waking up in the middle of the night because he was never able to fall asleep again until he had to get up anyway.

He got out of the bed to get a drink, and when he sat on the desk, he noticed that Sousuke was not sleeping in the top bunk.

Well, he thought. At least it explains why he looks so tired lately.

Sousuke, the guy he once understood without words, became an enigma to him. And it was starting to piss him off, especially because he was so ecstatic at the beginning when he felt like nothing changed between them, even though they had no contact for five years.

He smiled lightly remembering the day he saw Sousuke in the class for the first time after such a long time. Starring with his mouth open, he thought that he was dreaming, and only closed his mouth when Sousuke sat by him and kicked his leg lightly to make him come back to earth.

Rin remembers fidgeting in his sit, waiting for the lesson to end, because he could not talk to Sousuke at all – their teacher could spot you whispering even if you sat at the end of the classroom.

It wasn’t easy trying to focus on taking notes. He wanted to kick Sousuke seeing him totally focused and not even looking at him, but stopped himself and instead starred at him until he remembered that Sousuke was never one moved by his death glare either. Sigh.

He saw a couple of girls gossiping obviously about Sousuke, since they not so subtly turned around a few times. Well, it’s not like it was surprising, he wasn’t blind either.

Sousuke grew to be the most handsome man he ever came across, and it definitely did not make it easier for Rin who considered Sousuke his childhood crush. Ok, let’s be honest, he never stopped crushing. He remembers searching online for pictures of Sousuke, ensured Sousuke had to win in butterfly plenty of times, remembering the determined, strong child with fond, so ensured something had to be online, he checked and felt so happy seeing smiling pictures of him holding trophies and medals. Rin was failing badly then, at everything in his life, so he was happy that at least Sousuke was winning the dream they set for both of them. He was slightly jealous, but he missed him and loved too much to focus on that.

He remembers when his mom asked him if something happened seeing him tearing up looking at the laptop, sitting opposite to her in the living room. He showed her pictures and she straight off asked him if he likes Sousuke. His blush probably told her everything.

He stopped contacting everyone soon after, depression striking harder than ever, but always ensured to check on Sousuke online – if he saw a picture or at least some information, he was ensured that Sousuke was fine, and that was enough.

He did not dare to contact him again once he got better. His Iwatobi friends were one thing, but Sousuke was special – he felt like he had no right to show up suddenly at his door, not only because he cut contact out of nowhere, but because he felt like trash compared to him, trash that did not deserve him. He left Sousuke for the sake of fulfilling his father’s dream. He was completely unapologetic about it. He ignored the sad look on Sousuke’s face. He promised contacting him to cut contact anyway. He even wore those bracelets Sousuke sent him every month, even after he stopped contacting him, but never sent a simple “thank you” back. He did all of those because he always took Sousuke for granted, he did all of those out of selfishness to not even accomplish anything at the end, while Sousuke did even though he was disappointed by Rin all the time. Rin had no right to contact him.

So when Sousuke acted like nothing happened from the beginning, and they automatically slipped into old habits, he felt like he won the lottery. It made him feel that maybe he was too harsh on himself, maybe there was an excuse for his behaviour. Sousuke did not even ask why he stopped contacting him, so Rin trusted that he figured it out himself, and did not talk to him about it to not bring bad memories back – he just decided to ensure they will only make good ones now.

It was so easy. They shared a room at Samezuka, so needing to clean together, wake each other up, depending who overslept this time, help each other with homework, make stupid and dirty jokes when they could not sleep at night, eat meals together, all the little things brought them closer than ever. They also shared classes and always together had gym and swimming sessions, so they were practically inseparable every single day.

He kept his crush in check. He did not think Sousuke noticed anything. Not even those times Rin’s eyes lingered on his gorgeous body for a bit too long – Rin wanted to stop doing it but when Sousuke laughed at him when he turned away as Sousuke was changing, he decided this is probably the way to make him find out sooner instead. So he continued on blatantly starring. Oh well.

Rin wasn’t out to anyone, apart from his mom – not like he was planning on dating anyway, since he was totally hung up on Sousuke, but he was also simply so busy that he would not have a chance anyway – so making people aware would only add trouble in his life. What Sousuke thought about gay couples was a mystery to him, and he did not know how to bring the subject up without busting himself at the same time, since being subtle was not one of his strongest traits. Even if he wasn’t homophobic, it’s another thing how their relationship, Rin is not going to lie to himself, was pretty intimate, and Rin did not want to lose it. He loved how comfortable they were with each other, and preferred to stay in the closet forever than to lose Sousuke.

Although, seeing how Sousuke started drifting apart from him after awhile, he wondered if maybe Sousuke did notice his touch being too lingering, too often, eyes starring too intently, blushing when caught. But it did not make sense to him, because when they were together, Sousuke did not push him away, did not cringe, did not try to put space between them. It’s just… like Sousuke was switching off sometimes, so deep in his thoughts that Rin had to pinch him to get him back on earth. Sousuke started doing it more and more often; the teacher caught him not listening in the class once, he was restless most of the nights turning from one side to another all the time, there were those goddamn phonecalls that he was turning off most of the time and when he picked up he went somewhere where Rin could not hear but always came back nervous and upset.

Rin did not know what was going on. He tried talking with him, but Sousuke always changed the topic. Sousuke started looking so tired Rin became worried that he is getting sick, so he calmed a bit seeing that Sousuke simply was not sleeping at all, but a moment later got even more worried.

He wondered if he overestimated their relationship – that once again he took Sousuke for granted, accepting Sousuke’s silence over the past instead of breaking it and actually telling him everything he needed to hear – it would explain Sousuke’s lack of trust in him - if Rin never shared anything with him, why would Sousuke trust him with his problems.

He jumped off the desk, slipped the nearest jumper on himself, which turned out to be Sousuke’s, easily recognisable by the smell of his cologne, and went out to look for him.


	2. Childhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sometimes people surprise us. People we believe we know.”  
> ― Joyce Carol Oates

Rin walked all the way to the park, after he checked that Sousuke wasn’t anywhere around Samezuka. The weather was pleasant, light, warm wind brushing his hair off his face, but he was starting to feel anxious. Considering Sousuke obviously hid important things from him, he wondered if he would be capable of leaving without saying goodbye too.

Sousuke laughed once that Rin is the person who you can never be sure where he would be a week from now on. Rin partly agreed. He knew where Sousuke was coming from, Rin leaving him suddenly, in the middle of a school year. But it was Sousuke who was well known for disappearing all the time. 

Sometimes Sousuke’s father or one of his employees appeared at school out of nowhere and told Sousuke that they are leaving – that was it. Rin remembers the first time it happened and how confused he was. When he was little he was jealous – how cool, he thought, they are letting Sousuke skip the awful English class, probably to take him for ice-creams. He was ensured that Sousuke’s dad had to be the coolest dad ever. He asked Sousuke about it, but he received a vague answer. He did not push for an answer, thinking Sousuke is worried that he will tell teachers about him skipping classes he did not like, and since they were new friends then, he did not expect Sousuke to fully trust him yet.

He was ensured of his theory for awhile. Even when Sousuke was leaving for a few days, he just thought that they are taking him on holidays to make up for the lost time. He remembers the first visit to Yamazaki house and how his jaw dropped. The house was massive and absolutely beautiful, filled with newest technology – Sousuke had the newest consoles and games and they could spend hours playing everything, running around the house, getting sweets from the fridge, they could do whatever they wanted. Sousuke had an uncle who always pretended he did not see them, watching TV downstairs, so he felt like in a paradise when visiting Sousuke. The fact that his father was never there ensured Rin that this was the reason he took Sousuke out of school when he found time for him.

Rin remembers feeling annoyed seeing Sousuke not happy with what he had. He called Sousuke spoiled plenty of times, telling him to be more appreciative – Rin had a pretty good life himself but Sousuke’s life was like a dream to him then. How could Sousuke ever be upset? 

He started looking from another perspective when shortly after he lost his own dad and understood how obviously a new console and a game are not enough to fulfil the empty space left by a parent. Sousuke was so supportive then, inviting him more and more often, even giving him some of his own things, just to make him happy. He was pretty desperate to make him happy and Rin noticed that while everyone else was hugging him, telling him the nicest things, supporting emotionally, Sousuke was giving him stuff and not talking about his dad, which Rin appreciated because it let him pretend everything was ok. The difference between Sousuke and others was something he did not quite understood then, but he did now – this was basically everything Sousuke knew.

He remembers being surprised when Sousuke stood like a wall when Rin’s mom welcomed him in their home for the first time, hugging him tight. It took such a long time before Sousuke was allowed to visit them, at the beginning because his father never allowed him, then Rin’s mom was not keen on visitors right after losing her husband.

When she hugged Sousuke he made such big eyes that Rin laughed at him, but it made him curious at the same time. He asked him why he acts like no one ever hugged him, and when Sousuke told him his father never does, because “only weak people show emotions”, Rin did not know how to react. So he did not. 

The same night he cried in his mom’s arms asking her if he was weak, and she explained that people who don’t show emotions are weak, not him. When he told her that Sousuke is not weak, but strong, because he always wins in butterfly against him, she realised where he got the idea. She asked him why Sousuke thinks that and Rin told her about what Sousuke’s dad taught him. She was quiet after it, but somehow since that day Sousuke was always supposed to be dragged into their house for dinner and she hugged him as hello every single time. He remembers grinning when Sousuke unsurely put his arms around his mom for the first time. Rin somehow was all over him since that day too – he always found a reason to hug him, even thought Sousuke was clearly cringing at the beginning. He did not understand the importance of what they were doing then, he was too young.

One day Sousuke told him he couldn’t come over anymore and neither talk with him at school and Rin straight out cried right there. He actually saw Sousuke making a move to hug him, but he stopped himself, like he reminded himself about something. Sousuke just left him, and ran home.

He was angry at him, thinking that Sousuke probably found himself a better friend but did not have guts to tell him. Seeing him alone on every break, eyes tired, starring at a book, made him doubt his harsh thoughts. Sousuke was not talking to anyone, he was always either sitting with his nose buried in a book, or practicing in the swimming pool. Then he went straight to the car and was gone.

When he told his mom about everything she told him to not worry, that maybe Sousuke was grounded for being naughty and soon everything will be ok. After two weeks she did not seem so sure anymore. A few weeks later they needed to attend a usual every six months meeting at school, where parents could find out from teachers about their children’s grades and everything else. Near the end of their visit they noticed Sousuke with his father. They were standing by their car, Sousuke’s father obviously unhappy about something talking to Sousuke who was looking at his shoes. His father was so much taller than him that he scared Rin so he could imagine how scared Sousuke had to feel. His mother took his hand and started moving towards them when they heard a harsh “Stop crying, you’re an embarrassment!”. His mom made both Sousuke and his dad jump then, cheerfully saying “Hello.”

The man reminded Rin of those politicians his mom always talked about when they showed up on TV. Perfectly dressed with perfect smiles, caring the most about what others would think about them. Sousuke quickly wiped his tears off but did not look at them, clearly ashamed.

“We did not have a chance to meet yet,” his mom continued then, with a soft smile on her face, but there was a determination in her eyes. Rin knew that look and he always did as he was told when she had it on.

Sousuke’s dad seemed confused for a second but realisation showed up on his face quickly and he shook Rin’s mom’s hand with a smile.

“You must be Rin’s mom! Sorry, madam, I was really busy during the past few weeks so I did not have a chance to thank you for taking care of my son, he told me about everything you did for him. I’d like to also apologise, if I knew my employer is letting him being such a bother, he’d lose his job sooner, Sousuke now knows it’s inappropriate…”

Rin did not like him. Sousuke was still looking at the ground and his chin shook when his dad talked about the employer losing his job. Wait, did he mean Sousuke’s uncle?

“Oh no, it was not a problem at all, we invited Sousuke every time! Sousuke is a precious child, it was a pleasure having him at our house,” she smiled, and Sousuke’s cheeks blushed. “I was worried that something happened but he was too shy to tell, since he suddenly stopped visiting us.”

“Ah, that’s only his fault. His grades dropped so he was grounded.” He replied, not stopping himself from quickly looking at Sousuke displeased.

Rin looked at him confused then. He always sat by Sousuke so he knew his grades were great. Unless they changed after Sousuke stopped talking to him.

“I understand,” his mom did not really seem convinced, in Rin’s opinion. “If you don’t mind me saying, maybe letting boys revise together would be a good idea, Rin could help Sousuke improve his grades.”

Ah, his mom, Rin thought trying to hide a cheeky smile. Always cornering people so they couldn’t say no.

Sousuke’s father said he’d think about it, and Sousuke called Rin on the same night to quietly ask if they can hang out at school tomorrow. Rin was so happy he quickly agreed and ran to hug his mom.

They started hanging out at school again and Rin tried to get it out of Sousuke why he wasn’t allowed to even talk to him at school. He did not believe in the grades story. Sousuke did not want to tell but after Rin nudged him a few times, and promised he won’t tell his mom, Sousuke finally told him that he was stupid enough to hug his father when he came back from the trip. His father pushed him away, shouted at him and told him to man up. When he found out about Matsuokas influence on him he forbid him from seeing them. He was lucky that Sousuke’s grades dropped soon after so he had an excuse when Rin’s mom actually asked for a reason. 

Sousuke’s sister, Yori, a girl Rin only saw a few times, since she was always either in her room or out with friends and was attending another school, asked Sousuke to help her with homework because she was failing at school. So Sousuke did, and in result failed to finish his own plenty of times, not having time for it.

Rin did not understand why Sousuke did that, he and Gou were always helping each other, but Rin would never make himself fail so Gou could pass especially if she nearly did not out of laziness.

He did not grow to like Yori. Sousuke was crazy protective over her and constantly putting himself in trouble for her. She was the typical free soul that annoyed Rin, especially because it always ended up with Sousuke grounded and in result they could not see each other. At the beginning he was always annoyed with Sousuke doing everything as his father told, but she annoyed him more. He told Sousuke to not save her skin at least once, so she will stop being naughty knowing Sousuke won’t save her every time and feeling the consequences. Sousuke did not listen to him.

Rin was always protective of Gou, like Yori to Sousuke, she was his little sister, but Gou was doing things for him in return. Yori only took.

He asked Sousuke why he likes her so much, and he always explained that she’s his little sister and it is his duty to be protective as an older brother. So Rin wasn’t sure whether he actually liked her or it was another thing he was taught that Rin did not agree with. His mom always said “family first” but everyone was supposed to live by those words, not only one person in the whole family, like Sousuke. It was simply unfair. 

He and Sousuke were practicing swimming most of the days. They joined the relay team, Rin proposed it when he started feeling that he should fulfil his father’s dream. Sousuke wasn’t too keen, since his favourite thing was racing against Rin, not with him, but he went for it. The problems started when they lost their first competition, majorly.

Sousuke was weird for a few days, speaking less to him than always. When Rin reminded him about the practice for the relay and Sousuke told him he won’t be in the relay anymore, he broke Rin’s heart. Rin was so ensured at this point that it is something he needs to do for his dad, that to realise he won’t have Sousuke’s support, and that because Sousuke was selfish and did not want to share failures with others, simply broke him.

Some time later Rin found the Iwatobi team and decided to move there to accomplish his father’s dream.

Rin sighed to himself, remembering once again how foolish he was then. He still wasn’t exactly sure about what was going on, what still is going on in Sousuke’s family, but he found it hard to believe that Sousuke’s father was just a strict, busy man. As much as he could understand that, really, that’s life, some parents work instead of staying at home, he knew ensuring a child that showing emotions is a wrong thing to do was simply sick. If only he wasn’t a naïve child when Sousuke told him about being grounded and not allowed to meet Matsuokas because they taught him affection; if he’d hear it now, he would pack that child’s things and make him move to his home permanently. But as a child, he crossed his heart and promised to never tell. Sousuke continued on being pretty affectionate with Rin and his family so the problem disappeared for Rin’s younger self, but now it was easy to guess that Sousuke simply showed affection to no one but Matsuokas, maybe his own sister, when no one was looking, but Rin would not bet on it, so his father was ensured that they are not ruining his perfectly cold son anymore. And he knew Sousuke never stopped using this technique.

Sousuke was still affectionate with him, even though they were separated for such a long time, but he kept his distance when it came to others. Rin often felt that people were slightly afraid of Sousuke. He did not really understand why, he knew Sousuke looked quite intimidating and wasn’t the most cheerful person around, but really, people tried to get close to Rin when he was throwing a fit after a fit, getting aggressive and violent, so the fact that they were more afraid of Sousuke who was sometimes too calm and polite for his own good, but simply least affectionate, often bothered him.

Even Momo and Nitori, who actually seemed to like Sousuke, sometimes more than they liked Rin, always kept certain distance, and Rin could not comprehend it. At the beginning he thought it’s simply because Sousuke was new. But after a few weeks Sousuke still had certain authority Rin was becoming slightly jealous of, but mainly confused about. And he won’t lie, it was a bit of a turn on, not that he would ever tell anyone.

He’d ask them why they treat Sousuke the way they do, but he was worried they would think he looks for friends for Sousuke and knowing them, it would turn into a circus he really did not want to be responsible for. Besides, he wasn’t exactly keen on sharing Sousuke with anyone, as selfish as it was. 

“Thank you for help, you know I really appreciate it.”

Rin turned around hearing a female voice. Quickly hiding behind a tree, he noticed Sousuke walking by the lake with a girl a bit shorter than him. He could not tell who she was, considering it was dark and she had massive sunglasses on her face. In the middle of the night. What the hell?

“Never mind. Just keep safe.” Sousuke sighed and pulled her into a hug. “Love you.”

Rin stood with his mouth open, gaping in shock. Hearing those words coming out of Sousuke’s mouth, words he always foolishly dreamed about hearing himself from him one day, he felt his eyes tearing up. When he saw her returning the hug, and Sousuke kissing the top of her head, the affection made his throat burn.

“Love you too.”

Rin did not want to see more. Making as little noise as possible he made his way back to their room, trying to hold back tears. When he hid himself under the covers, he let them run down his cheeks.


	3. Family first

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides.”  
> ― André Malraux

“What’s going on with you today?”

Rin snapped out of his thoughts feeling Sousuke softly bumping his shoulder against Rin’s. They were sitting together outside Samezuka, pretending to revise for their classes, but considering they were both tired, even though Sousuke was hiding it better, they were mainly laying on grass and catching the sun.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Rin replied harsher than he intended. He really should attend acting lessons one day, he thought frustrated.

Seeing Sousuke turning his head to look at him with surprise in his eyes, he closed his own.

He knew he was pathetic, but he could not help it. It wasn’t like Sousuke ever promised him anything, hell, he did not even know that Rin was gay. And he obviously wasn’t himself.

Last night Rin was simply self-pitying, crying in his bed, but then Sousuke came back to their room – when Rin felt Sousuke covering him with blankets, since Rin threw himself on the bed and hid behind his personal one, forgetting about the rest, he nearly snapped right there. Where exactly is the line between being good friends and boyfriends? Why on earth was Sousuke so comfortable with Rin? Why he cared so much about him?

But what was making him most anxious was the fact that Sousuke did not tell him about his girlfriend. And that he was meeting with her during ridiculous hours. Just so Rin won’t find out? He could not comprehend it.

Thinking about it now he started wondering if maybe Sousuke did know about his crush, and decided to hide his true love and act comfortable with him to not upset him. He knew Sousuke was capable of such ideas, he always prioritised those he cared about over himself. But what kind of excuse he gave to his girlfriend? Why was he concerned? And why the hell was she wearing sunglasses in the middle of the night?

“About you acting like a dick to everyone today, especially me.”

Rin opened his eyes to look at him annoyed. HE was a dick?!

“I went after you yesterday,” he snapped at him. Shit.

Seeing Sousuke paling noticeably did satisfy him for a moment, but he got even angrier when Sousuke continued on being quiet, just starring at him.

“Oh, so that’s why you were wearing my hoodie.”

Rin hoped Sousuke would excuse the blush as sunburn. There was no way he’d let Sousuke change the topic this time. Especially if the topic was Rin falling asleep cuddled up in the hoodie smelling of Sousuke. Which was the reason he fell asleep at all, probably.

“This is what you have to say?! I catch you with your girlfriend who you decided to hide from me god knows why, and you…”

“Woah, what?!” Sousuke stopped him and raised his hands in defence. “What the fuck are you talking about? What girlfriend?! What…”

“YESTERDAY. I went after you when I noticed you weren’t in the bed at damn three am, and surprise, I come across you two cuddled up, and kissing, and saying I love you…” Rin started ranting getting angrier and angrier with each word, but when he saw Sousuke clearly stopping himself from laughing, he felt his eyes burning and voice catching up in his throat.

“Rin? Rin, are you crying, hey…” he felt Sousuke’s hand on his arm, gripping it tight. When Rin did not answer, trying his hardest to not let any more tears escape, hiding his face in embarrassment, he pulled him into a hug. “What’s wrong? Have I done something? How much did you hear?”

“Just that. Why did you hide having a girlfriend…” he wished he wasn’t so tired, it would have been so much easier to stop his tears.

“Rin, she’s not my girlfriend!” Sousuke pulled him away to look into his eyes, holding his arms. “Look… I shouldn’t… It’s not about me, ok? But that wasn’t my girlfriend. It’s not that I do not trust you, is this why you are crying, it’s really… it’s just not my secret to tell…”

Rin understood even less now, but half of him was glad that Sousuke did not figure out why he was really being upset.

“Why can’t you tell me?”

The grip on his shoulders tightened, and Sousuke looked into his eyes. He seemed to be thinking very hard about something, and when he finally opened his mouth, he closed it quickly again as his eyes moved to look behind Rin and then visibly darkened. Rin turned around to see Makoto and Haru, and felt Sousuke’s hands dropping from his shoulders.

“What are you two doing in here?” he asked them surprised.

Fantastic, he thought. They could not find a better moment.

“Ah, we were just wondering if you’d like to go to the town tomorrow, with Nagisa, Rei, and us.” Makoto smiled at them. “Nagisa decided yesterday that we all should spend more time together…”

“He’s curious about Yamazaki.” Haru interrupted.

“Haru!” Makoto blushed and looked around ready to hide somewhere. “That was not the reason…”

Rin turned to look at Sousuke only to notice him starring rather unkindly at Haru, so he poked his cheek to make him look at him instead.

He wasn’t a fool so he did figure out himself that Sousuke won’t be on the best terms with his Iwatobi friends, considering how different they were from him, and especially because Rin left Sousuke and ended up with them – Rin always underlined that he left him to accomplish his father’s dream, not for other friends, but he wasn’t sure if Sousuke saw it like that. They really needed to talk.

He did not really introduce Sousuke to them. They knew each other’s names, quick introduction when they finally ended up in one room, but Sousuke left soon after, clearly not keen on anything more than that. Rin actually wanted to talk with him about it, but Sousuke offered a cinema right after and by the end of the day Rin pretty much forgot about everything. Besides, Rin and Sousuke were pretty busy with practicing and revising, so when they could spend some quality time together alone, they did, far from wanting to share it with anyone else. The fact that Sousuke never asked about them and stayed quiet whenever Rin tried to make him talk, ensured him that Sousuke does not want anything to do with them. He finally never got around to arranging a meeting so they all could get to know each other.

“You should go,” said Sousuke, smiling a pretty fake smile.

Rin slapped his shoulder, “You’re invited too, idiot.”

“Yes,” Makoto quickly added, looking surprised Sousuke could assume they really just invited only Rin while Sousuke was sat right by him. “Are you guys free tomorrow around two maybe? We could go shopping and then for a meal.”

“We are,” before Sousuke could say ‘no’, Rin quickly interrupted him. “Tomorrow at two, we can meet up at Makoto’s house.” he offered. His intention wasn’t exactly to make the best friends out of Sousuke and his friends, but he felt that if he would make them spend some time together, Sousuke might start feeling more welcome, as a whole, not just with Rin.

“Makoto! Haru!” before anyone could say anything else, Nagisa’s cheerful voice stopped them and they noticed him running towards where they were sat. “There you are!” he clapped his hands seeing Rin and Sousuke, once he reached them. “So, are you two going?”

“Yeah, we decided that it’s time to uncover the secret,” Rin waved his hands in front of Sousuke who looked at him like at an idiot which made him laugh.

Nagisa made a confused face before he blushed. “So… erm… should we book a table somewhere?”

“We don’t know where we want to go though,” murmured Haru.

“How about the new place that they opened a few days ago,” they turned to look surprised at Sousuke who suddenly spoke up. “It’s theoretically a club, but they serve food earlier and from what I’ve heard it’s pretty good.”

“Oh! Or there is the new takeaway too!” added Nagisa, and he, Haru and Makoto started arguing about where they should go.

If you’d ask Sousuke, he was tired of Rin’s friends already. He knew it wasn’t their fault – they were still children and they had all the right to be. He was the one who grew up in completely different circumstances than them, and he was aware that they were the ones with normal lives, not him. So he could not hate them for acting the way they do, because their behaviour was theoretically acceptable, while he was too mature for his own age, like Rin always told him.

Ah, Rin. Capable of being more childish, giggly, and loud than all of them together, but somehow it always brought a smile on his face instead of annoying him.

He was aware why he was biased.

When he felt Rin bumping in his shoulder, he looked at him to see the cheeky smile he loved so much and gorgeous eyes starring right at him. Damn that boy.

“Let’s just decide tomorrow.” Makoto stopped the silly argument. “We can try the club first and if it’s going to be full we can always get the take away instead. Deal?”

“Deal!”

+

“So, are you going to tell me now?”

Rin climbed up the bunks to quickly lay down by Sousuke who was falling asleep on his side. He sighed to himself noticing the dark shadows under Sousuke’s eyes.

He couldn’t make Sousuke love him. He could not make him gay in the first place. He could be selfish and let him continue on hiding the girl so Rin could live in a beautiful denial.

But he could not watch Sousuke getting himself sick for the sake of it.

“Tell you what?” he heard a quiet murmur.

“Your girlfriend.”

“Not a girlfriend.”

“Well at least we established that.” Rin rolled his eyes.

It really did not sound like Sousuke was lying but…

“Why are you meeting with some girl at ridiculous hours then?”

“Safety.”

“Safety?”

“Safety.”

“Did you know you can be SO annoying?!” he pushed at Sousuke’s arm, making him laugh.

“Rin, it’s nothing. Why does it bother you so much anyway?”

Whoomp, there it is. Didn’t Sousuke answer the question himself already?

“I just wonder why you don’t trust me.” Rin shrugged, trying to act cool. Because I am jealous that some girl is getting kissed and hugged by you when it should be me.

“And I told you it isn’t about me.” Sousuke yawned and then pulled the covers over both of them. “Go to sleep, Rin.”

“It’s like… seven.” He stuttered a bit.

“Who cares, we’re both tired.”

Soon after he was sound asleep.

Rin starred at his face for awhile, not knowing what to think anymore. Last night he spent crying, ensured that Sousuke has a girlfriend. Maybe it was foolish to jump to conclusions, but who else would he hug and tell he loves? It at least had to be a close friend. Unless…

“Was it Yori?!” ecstatic with his discovery he asked out loud, but Sousuke did not show any reaction, obviously deep asleep.

Rin turned on his back to look at the ceiling. THAT made sense. What still did not make sense was the fact that Sousuke had to hide with her. What had to happen that brother and sister could not talk? For safety? Was she in danger? So it did make sense that she even covered her face with glasses, even though it was dark. Sousuke’s lack of sleep and stress… hiding with her… Yori… It’s been such a long time, Sousuke moved all the way to Samezuka, and somehow he still was punished for being her brother, basically. Amazing, Rin thought sarcastically.

Turning on his side again, he tried to get a bit closer to Sousuke. Keeping a little bit of space between them, he fallen asleep quickly, finally feeling calmer.

+

Rin woke up feeling warm and comfortable. He tried to stretch himself, when he realised that he’s snuggled up in someone’s arms. When he moved his head to look up, he saw Sousuke’s sleepy face, too long fringe tickling his nose.

He automatically raised his hand to brush his hair back, the touch light, his eyes lingering on Sousuke’s face. There was a healthy blush on his cheeks, the dark shadows gone. Smiling to himself, Rin searched through his pants to find his phone and check the hour, but when he could not find it, he sneaked Sousuke’s out of his pocket.

It was only seven am. He curiously looked at the lock screen. There were a few calendar notifications, one missed phone call from Sousuke’s dad, and preview of a message from no one else but Yori, right at the top, sent a few hours ago.

[Haha, you poor soul! Good luck with the pup. Hopefully he is not as much of a dog as his father! Getting them right in the lion’s cave, though? Daddy has to be so proud of you…]

The warm snuggly feeling was gone.


	4. The ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”  
> ― Benjamin Franklin

“If you are going to change one more time, we’re going to be late.”

Sousuke laughed quietly seeing Rin looking at himself in the mirror for the nth time, changing his shirt again.

Not that Sousuke minded. Seeing Rin parading around half naked wasn’t something he’d ever complain about, but if they are going to be late, Rin will blame it on him. Somehow.

He noticed Rin’s weird, a bit detached behaviour since he woke up, and he wasn’t sure what to think about it. He’d tell him that it was Yori he hugged but it was important to keep it a secret that she moved from Tokyo to Iwatobi. He knew Rin expected full trust from his friends, so obviously it annoyed him to be kept in the dark, but it wasn’t about Sousuke.

Well, Sousuke told none of his secrets either.

“They will have to wait then,” Rin shrugged, tying his hair in a ponytail and then tying it again, higher, after starring in the mirror critically.

Sousuke covered his face with Rin’s pillow to muffle the laughter escaping his throat.

“Stop laughing at me, we’re going out, I won’t look like shit.” Rin sat on the floor to look through his box of jewellery. Most of his things were from Sousuke.

“You never look like shit.” He heard from where Sousuke was laying on his bunk and blushed. “I was surprised to see you wearing them.”

Rin looked up to see Sousuke starring at his hands that were right now full of bracelets from him. Bracelets he never thanked for.

“Of course I do,” his voice was way softer than he intended, but he did not care at this moment.

Sousuke did not say anything, he just started putting his shoes on. Rin bit his lip, and then moved to sit right by Sousuke, making him look at him with a question in his eyes.

“You know I appreciate everything you did… you do for me, right?” he asked quietly, but seeing Sousuke trying to answer him he raised his hand to stop him. He needed to get it all out of himself, now or never, and he knew that if Sousuke will interrupt then he won’t say everything that he should have said awhile ago already. “In Australia… It was getting worse and worse, so at some point I just cut contact with everyone because I had nothing to say anymore. I was failing at everything, and I did not want to be pathetic and whine in letters to you about how awful my life is when I chose it myself. I could stay by you, but it was my choice to run after my father’s dream,” he sighed. “I came back to Iwatobi, not you, because we had the same dream, and I… I did not have courage to look in your face. I did not want you to see me like that. You were doing so well even though I was disappointing you over and over again, and you continued on sending presents anyway… You always did so much more for this relationship than I did…”

“That’s not true,” Sousuke stopped him this time, seeing Rin becoming more upset with each word. Rin was bending his fingers, nervous manner he had since he was a child, so Sousuke put his hand over both of his to calm him down. “Look, you were just a child. You lost your dad. There’s nothing shocking in you caring so much about fulfilling his dream, even if it meant leaving others behind. Even as a kid I understood that.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that I was a selfish, first running to Iwatobi, then to Australia, then back to Iwatobi…”

“You did it for your dad, that’s not selfish.” Sousuke quickly cut him off. “I remember sending you this one,” he smiled a bit, his thumb sliding across a thin silver bracelet Rin decided to wear.

“It’s my favourite,” he whispered, and after a few quiet moments added: “I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I screwed up, in case you forgot I remind you that I was the one who made you leave. If I would not say that I won’t swim the relay anymore…”

“It wasn’t your fault!” Hell no, he won’t let Sousuke take the blame after how hard he worked on ensuring they won’t lose contact. He’d never want him to swim the relay if it wasn’t enjoyable for him. Besides, he was pretty sure that Sousuke would swim if not his father’s harsh punishments whenever he “dared” to fail. If he was getting grounded all the time because of Yori already, he definitely did not want more trouble from losing races and that not even because of him.

They were quiet for a moment before Sousuke offered quietly, “Let’s just say we both screwed up, ok? Sometimes things are not purely our choices and decisions, sometimes what has to be done, has to be done. We grew up, we matured, we realised what’s important, we changed, understood our mistakes, let’s just move on, since we’re aware that we both care, and that’s all that matters.”

Rin looked at him for a moment and then slipped his hands around Sousuke’s middle, hugging him tight. Cheek on Sousuke’s shoulder, he smiled fondly at him.

“This is the moment you return the hug, muppet,” he scolded him, keeping his arms around Sousuke, who rolled his eyes but did as told with a deep theatrical sigh making Rin laugh.

“Better?”

“Much better.”

“We’re going to be late.”

“I know, all your fault.”

He giggled when Sousuke glared at him.

+

“What took you so long?!” Nagisa whined when Sousuke and Rin finally showed up. Haru and Makoto were sitting by each other on the fence, while Rei was talking with someone on the phone a few steps away from them.

“Sousuke spends so much time in front of the mirror, I had to drag him out…” before Rin finished he ended up pushed against the nearest tree so he burst out laughing and pushed Sousuke back.

“Let’s go, I have things to buy!” Rin grinned.

“Oh god, you really don’t need any more clothes.” Sousuke groaned but when Rin tugged him by his sleeve, he went without adding anything else.

+

Sousuke could say what he wanted, but Rin knew that once you got him involved in the shopping spree, he ended up with as many bags as Rin. Ok, nearly. The hilarious part was that Nagisa and others were starting to make pretty big eyes at the amount of stuff they were buying. Especially when Sousuke continued on slapping Rin’s hand away whenever he tried to pay himself.

“I did not buy you a present for awhile,” Sousuke explained laughing when Rin pushed him out of the shop, hitting him with his bags.

“Your father is going to kill you one day,” Rin hit him again.

“Probably, but, hey, that was actually my money!” Sousuke made a deeply insulted face. “All those bracelets are from my cash, too.”

“They didn’t cost that much, though, did they?” Rin stopped and looked at Sousuke suspiciously.

“You would not believe if I told you,” he grinned.

“You tricked me! Made them look like innocent, small bracelets, so I will wear them thinking they were cheap!” he stood with his hands crossed on his chest. “Shameful, Mr. Yamazaki.”

“At least I know you have expensive taste,” Sousuke laughed at him. “Your favourite one costs the most.”

“How much?”

Sousuke made a tch noise and started walking towards the next store.

“Hey!”

He did not get out of Sousuke how much he paid for his jewellery, but he took a note to hide them a bit better next time. What a sneaky person, Rin thought, of course, it sounds so much like Sousuke to give the most while pretending it’s not much.

They had a fantastic time. Jumping from one shop to another, Rin forgot about everything that was bothering him in the morning, and decided to put it aside at least for one day. He stopped counting how many clothes he tried on, catwalking his way out of the fitting room, and did not know what made him laugh more, Sousuke totally getting into it, pretending to be his stylist [although they probably should not like everything their models put on] or his friends looking at them like they are losing the way to live. They won’t ever ask them to go out again together, that’s for sure.

When Sousuke left them for a moment, saying he needs to call someone, Rin made others go with him to a jewellery shop.

“What are you looking for, Rin?” Makoto asked, curiously looking at colourful charms behinds the glass.

“I want something for Sousuke,” Rin answered, eyebrows furrowing. “I don’t know what he would actually wear…”

“Is it for his birthday?”

“No… I owe him a lot, you know,” he turned to look at Makoto. “I want to get something that he could wear all the time, just so he will know…”

“That you care.” Makoto smiled knowingly, finishing his sentence. “I get it. A ring? Means a lot, but might be too much, I guess,” he offered.

“I’d prefer something not so obvious. Besides, he’s already wearing the family ring…”

“I was wondering what that ring means,” he heard Haru’s quiet voice. “Pinky ring? What’s written on it?”

Rin laughed at his curiosity.

“Slow down there, Mr Officer,” Rin looked back at necklaces, shaking his head. “His father is rich as fuck, they all wear family rings, with their surname engraved inside. Not that unusual. I think they all engrave something else on the other side, though.”

“What’s engraved on his?”

“Smooth criminal,” Rin answered making Haru look at him angry and walk away. “Ok, ok, I am sorry. It’s just, you can’t see a gangster in everyone new you come across, Haru.”

“Considering what happened, I think it’s understandable that he is naturally more suspicious,” Rei pushed his glasses higher on his nose, scolding him subtly.

“I get it, I really do, but…” Rin rolled his eyes. “Haru needs to chill.”

“Maybe you need to stop being so chill. I will remind you my words when he will put his gun between your eyes.” Haru snapped.

“Uh oh,” they heard and turned to see Sousuke leaning against the nearest wall, arms crossed on his chest. “What am I going to do now, officer Nanase discovered my secret. Sousuke Yamazaki came over here all the way from Tokyo to befriend Rin Matsuoka again in order to shoot him between the eyes when the right time comes.”

Rin would laugh if Sousuke’s words weren’t so cold.

“My father told me about guys like you…” Haru started but Sousuke interrupted him again.

“Tell your father to start telling you better bed stories then.”

Haru’s face turned red and seeing a fight coming, Rin quickly stopped it.

“Guys! Come on. Let’s get something to eat, I’m starving.”

When Sousuke did not make a move to stop starring at Haru with a look probably worth of the criminals Haru’s dad told him about, he grabbed his wrist and dragged Sousuke after himself, hoping Iwatobi friends will follow.

“What’s up with you?” he whispered to Sousuke, not letting go of him, seeing Haru quickly walking past them but slowing down when Makoto caught his hand and started whispering something to him.

“With me? It’s that little dick who just said I came here to fucking murder you.” Sousuke looked at him angry.

“I am not on his side, if you’d hear what I said earlier you’d know I told him to piss off, too,” his grip on Sousuke’s wrist tightened, trying to calm him down but seeing Sousuke’s hands curled into fists he unsurely slipped his hand into his and held it tight. “Don’t worry about him, when I made a dare who will have balls to steal a freaking lollipop from the local shop and we went with Makoto, Haru gave us such a talking when he found out, that he reduced Makoto to tears and made him go there and nearly ask for forgiveness on his freaking knees!”

“What about you?”

“I ran away.”

Sousuke looked at him for a second and then started laughing, his posture relaxing slightly.

“It was a stupid childish joke, not clever, obviously, but he threw a right fit. Everyone knows Haru’s dad is a proper, loyal policeman, with special hatred for all the gangsters, so Haru grew up to take everything three times more seriously than everyone else,” he shrugged but added in a softer voice: “Considering his mother was killed by one of them…”

“Huh?” Sousuke looked surprised.

“Haru’s mom was killed when he was a baby by one of the Yakuza, I don’t think they ever found out who exactly it was. His father dug too deep and pissed them off, so they murdered his wife.” Rin seemed to be thinking hard; they were walking slower keeping enough distance between them and other boys. “His father walked away from the case then, and others weren’t too keen on picking it up. You know how it is, Yakuza plays cleverly, people are overall scared of them because once you piss them off… but it’s not like they only do bad things either…”

“They do a better job than policemen,” Sousuke said quietly but his eyebrows were furrowed.

“Well, policemen are not murdering innocent people,” Rin bumped his shoulder into Sousuke’s, continuing on holding his hand. If Sousuke did not say anything… “What are you thinking about?”

“Just surprised,” he took a deep breath. “Also by you not being too bothered.”

“It’s not that I am not bothered,” he said in his own defence. “I just know how sometimes it’s better to let go. It’s been so long and his dad is still obsessing over the loss, I don’t know whether he got involved again or not… And of course I understand, but he is making Haru paranoid at the same time, and it’s just… it’s not healthy, for both of them,” he smiled sadly. “They are not going to find out. Ever. They should live normally again. Out of all the people I know what happens when you obsess too much,” Rin looked at their intertwined fingers and added quietly. “Five years, because I thought it’s my responsibility to fulfil my dad’s dream. I lost five years with you,” he felt the blush coming but he wanted to say it. “Five years I won’t ever get back.”

“Rin.” Sousuke stopped, making other boys stop too, so he said quickly to them, “Go on, we will catch up in a few minutes.”

When they moved far away enough, Makoto clearly dragging Haru away by hand who still looked ready to punch Sousuke in the face, Sousuke put a finger under Rin’s chin and lifted his head.

“Didn’t we have this conversation just a few hours ago?” he smiled at him, ocean coloured eyes starring in his pink. “We decided to forget and move on, since like you just said, there’s no point in coming back to the old and bad over and over again.”

“I know,” Rin pouted making Sousuke laugh. “I just want you to know.”

“I know,” letting go of his hand, he brought his arm around Rin’s shoulder, making him snuggle a bit to his side, Rin’s arm sneaking around his middle automatically. They slowly started walking towards where the Iwatobi boys went. “And I know you know how much I have missed you all these years, since I came over here to get you back,” he winked to him. “We never needed to talk to know, what changed?”

“You got more secretive out of sudden,” Rin murmured.

“Not really.”

“Well maybe you are as always, but it’s bothering me more now,” he shrugged.

“Is that Nanase’s influence?” Sousuke snorted. “Just don’t start checking my pockets.”

Rin looked away. Whoops.

“What?” Sousuke looked at him suspiciously.

“Nothing. It’s not influence, though; I haven’t spoken to him for weeks if you haven’t noticed, tut.”

Before Sousuke could say anything, they reached other boys and Makoto who was talking with the bodyguard standing right in front of the club’s door, tall man with wide shoulders dressed in a dark suit, sunglasses covering his face, turned to look at them and said unhappily:

“They won’t let us in.”

“Why?” Rin stood surprised, scowl clear on his face.

“Only people who booked can get in today.”

“Whaaaat?” they heard a loud whine behind them, and then a few laughs. “SOUSUKE?!”

“Oh no…” Before Sousuke could finish, Rin was pushed out of the way by someone with bubblegum pink hair who threw himself in Sousuke’s arms, legs around his hips, arms tight around his neck, laughing ecstatic as Sousuke stumbled back.

“SOUSUKE! HEY BEAUTIFUL!”

Seeing Sousuke trying to get the guy, girl, Rin wasn’t sure, off himself, while bubblegum was loudly kissing his cheeks, would probably have him laughing normally, but since it was Sousuke who was getting kissed he stood there annoyed.

“Get the fuck off me, Kisumi, god!” Sousuke finally threw him off, and held at arm length, “What on earth are you doing here?!” He looked pretty hilarious with his hair looking like tornado went through it. Rin loved that look.

He looked at the guy who was still laughing. His built definitely suggested that he was doing some sort of sport, perhaps swimming, since Sousuke knew him, and his clothes said a lot about his personality. Surprisingly he wore everything in black, but torn skinny jeans, shirt with lots of white writing all over it, lots of silver jewellery and… heels, that made Rin open his mouth in shock, clearly hinted at his confidence.

“What do you mean, of course it’s my favourite place,” Kisumi snickered. “They gave me twenty percent discount last time I told them we’re friends.”

“I knew there has to be a reason,” Sousuke shook his head but he was smiling bright. “Using me since the beginning, you little bitch.”

“I don’t befriend people who are useless to me,” Kisumi said as a matter of fact.

“Thank you for your honesty,” Sousuke punched him in the arm, making him laugh again. “Do they know that?” he pointed at a few guys standing behind them.

“They are my one night friends.” Kisumi smirked a bit and then noticed Rin starring at them from behind Sousuke. “I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!”

Before he could jump on Rin, Sousuke quickly stood in his way, hand stretched out to hold him back.

“Calm down, he does not know you.”

“You did not tell your pretty boy about me?!” Kisumi theatrically gasped in shock, hand on his heart, and then waved to Rin, winking. “I am deeply insulted, Yamazaki.”

Rin was still standing dumbfounded so he just raised his hand and quickly dropped it again.

“Yamazaki?”

They looked at the bodyguard who so far stood still not amused, but hearing the surname clearly moved in surprise.

“Look at the realisation hitting him,” Kisumi side-eyed Sousuke and whispered ostentatiously. “Oh no, my name was just added on Yamazaki’s to-murder list.”

“Kisumi,” Sousuke hissed but the bodyguard was already opening the door in a rush.

“I am so sorry, Mr Yamazaki!” the man started quickly explaining, clearly frightened. “If I only knew…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sousuke quickly stopped him. “It’s nothing, really.”

“You will just die sooner,” Kisumi shrugged and ran away laughing seeing Sousuke raising his hand to hit him in the head. “See you, losers!”

Sousuke looked at Rin and others starring at him with eyes wide open. He scratched the back of his head.

“Don’t ask. He has a questionable humour. Let’s go, I’m starving,” and like nothing happened, he threw his arm over Rin’s shoulders and tugged him towards the entry using their shock to his advantage.

The bodyguard bowed as they walked past.


	5. The club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There are two sides to every story."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'ed by amazing @hot cinnaman man  
> Thank you so much!
> 
> Happy Halloween, guys!

The club was basically one big open space, oval shaped and divided into two levels. In the middle was the dance floor to which you could go down by taking the wide, glass stairs right in front of them. The upper floor didn’t take much space so that the majority of the dance floor was visible, but large enough so tables could be placed by the glass railing. The leather sofas were back to back, giving each table a feeling of privacy, and arranged in a style that distinctly brought the thought of a spider’s legs to mind. It was huge; even with the large opening in the middle and the booths, there was enough room for people to walk along the walls. At the end was a shiny, black marble bar, curved to fit the wall and demanding attention from visitors. As expected, Rin thought, everything was clearly done from expensive materials. Yamazakis were the last to be cheap.

No one was on the dance floor, so the lights were calmly moving to the slower music. It was too early for dancing, so the top level was filled with people enjoying food and drinks, loud conversations were heard all over the place.

“What a waste,” Sousuke murmured more to himself than anyone. “They should use the dancing space, put tables there for the dinner time since no one will dance at that time anyway…”

Rin smiled and shook his head lightly at his critique. Freaking Yamazakis.

“Wow,” Nagisa said with his mouth hanging open. “I don’t think it’s cheap here, is it?” He looked a bit worried.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m paying,” Sousuke threw over his shoulder and then smiled at the waiter who quickly rushed to their side before boys could tell Sousuke no. “Table for six, please.”

“Already prepared, Mr Yamazaki.” He smiled brightly.

Rin had to cover his mouth to stop the laugh. He found the whole situation hilarious. His sweet Sousuke, buying him presents, moving all the way from Tokyo to Iwatobi just to reunite them, pretending to be his stylist just to make him laugh, yet treated like some sort of mafia boss by his father’s employers seeing how they were pretty much afraid of him. It was too funny to watch.

“Is he really that rich?” He heard Nagisa whispering. “Who is his father?”

None of the boys answered him.

“Our best table,” the waiter said as he sat them at the end near the bar. He handed them their menus, quickly wrote down what they wished to drink, and left.

“Yeah,” Rin said as he lightly bumped into Sousuke’s shoulder. “what exactly is your father doing?”

Sousuke, who sat comfortably on the sofa with his eyes scanning the place, looked back at him surprised.

“Stuff like that, obviously. He’s a businessman.”

“’I’ve heard the food is good there’,” Rin said, in a mocking tone. “You could have told us that it’s your father’s club.”

“I did not want anyone to feel pressured into going here,” Sousuke said with a shrug. “Besides, I didn’t lie, I’ve heard it’s good. I just haven’t eaten here, myself.”

“It’s yummy.” Out of nowhere Kisumi showed up again, drink in his hand. “Nearly as good as the food you were getting at home. No one beats your private cook.”

“You have your own cook?” Nagisa gasped. “I wish someone made me food whenever I wanted,” he added with a dreamy look on his face.

Makoto laughed at him, but Kisumi stared weirdly at Sousuke with his eyebrow cocked as if confused by something, which did not escape Rin’s notice; nor the way Sousuke lightly shook his head.

“So you know each other from Tokyo, I assume?” asked Rin.

“Sure, properly only for about a year, though.” Kisumi smiled, showing his teeth in a big grin. “I was attending the private school, unlike Sousuke. My father wanted to make a decent son out of me,” he laughed. “which clearly did not work out. So we only met a year ago when they officially pulled us into business and we had to start going into meetings and shit.”

“I did not know you are actually working for your father now.” Rin looked surprised at Sousuke.

“I wouldn’t exactly call it work.” Eyebrows furrowing, Sousuke played with his glass.

Kisumi snorted.

“Don’t you have friends to take care of?” Sousuke looked up at him.

“Sure, boss.” Kisumi bowed theatrically and quickly walked away.

“He’s a character,” Rei observed.

“You have no idea.” Sousuke added as an afterthought, and smiled at the waiter who came to take their orders.

+

They had an amazing time. The food was better than anyone expected and once they finished, the lights dimmed and the music got louder. Sitting beside the railing and watching the dance floor below gave an impression of seeing a sea of colours, people were dancing and laughing. What they did not see before as it was kept in the dark were the poles circling the sides downstairs, some of which both guys and girls were dancing. The rest were for people just wanting to give it a try and have some fun with.

The waiter did not lie when he said that they got the best table. More and more people were coming but no one pushed them, although Rin wasn’t sure whether it was because of the placement or the bodyguard standing a bit away from them. Rin didn’t know when he showed up. At the beginning he thought that there was one standing every few tables, but when he looked around he only noticed one on the other side of the bar and one at the entry.

Then Kisumi joined them, smoking a cigarette, and shouted for the waiter to bring drinks for everyone. He ordered more and more, and everything became so carefree Rin just focused on enjoying his time. He even started liking Kisumi when the guy pushed him and Sousuke to the side so he could sit by them. They couldn’t breathe so Sousuke, without a second thought, slipped his hands under Rin’s legs and brought them over his to make Rin sit on his lap. Sousuke wore a cheeky smile at that and received a slap in the head from Rin, but he did not make a move to get off him, instead unsurely putting his arm around Sousuke.

He’d probably be more jealous of Kisumi, seeing how he loved to get really close to Sousuke, whispering in his ear, making him laugh; the drunker he was getting the more touchy feely he was. But it was Rin who sitting on Sousuke’s lap, with his hand on his back, the touch sure and somehow it was making Rin sure as well. So when Kisumi’s hand made his way around Sousuke’s neck, bringing him closer, Rin did not stop himself from slapping it off. To make it seem like a joke, he laughed, which made Kisumi whistle and put his hands up in defence with a big smile on his face. Sousuke shook his head at them, clearly not getting the hint.

Rin was happy to see Sousuke getting along with his friends, too. Well, most of them. Makoto obviously had no issue since the beginning and now as the atmosphere relaxed he was chatting with both Sousuke and Kisumi. It turned out that Kisumi played basketball, and Makoto liked it as much as swimming, so they got pretty heated up talking about it. Rin laughed seeing Haru side-eyeing Makoto. At least it made Haru stop staring at Sousuke. He had looked at Sousuke with such unkindness it started bothering Rin, especially since Sousuke was completely ignoring Haru. Nagisa and Rei were pretty much in their own little world, as usual, and Nagisa was trying to get Rei on the dance floor for the past half an hour already.

He felt Sousuke tapping his back, so he bent a bit to let Sousuke talk into his ear as since the music made it nearly impossible to hear each other. Little shivers went through his body when Sousuke brushed his hair behind his ear before he felt his warm breath.

“Are you having fun?”

Rin looked at him, wondering if it was a joke, but seeing his honest face he tugged on his hair.

“Of course!”

Sousuke smiled at him, but Kisumi shook him, breaking the moment. When they turned to look at him he was coughing on whatever he was currently smoking and pointing at the door.

Rin recognised Sousuke’s dad without a problem. The man haven’t changed much, but it hit Rin how much Sousuke grew to look like him. Even though Rin wasn’t a scared little boy anymore, the man’s intimidating presence had not changed. Tall, dressed in a black suit, well built, he was hovering over the man who he was talking to. There was no smile on his face. The other man didn’t seem too bothered, though, and spoke to him excitedly, his body language joyful and open and explaining something with his hands.

There were three bodyguards standing by them. Rin watched them walking right after Sousuke’s dad and the man who came with him.

They went to some guys who stood up when they reached their table. Some of them bowed and some of them shook hands with the man.

“I thought they’re in Tokyo,” he heard Kisumi’s surprised voice. When he turned to look at him he was practically hiding behind Sousuke, slid down the sofa so his head won’t be visible from behind it.

Sousuke shrugged, clearly not bothered.

“What have you done that you’re hiding so much?” he asked.

“I owe your father money.” He slid down the seat some more.

“Why the fuck you did not borrow from me?” Sousuke rolled his eyes, irritated.

“It was after you left,” Kisumi whined. “I was desperate.”

“When were you supposed to pay?”

“A month ago.”

Sousuke rubbed his eyes, sighing.

“Do you have the money?”

“No.”

“What a shame,” they heard behind their backs. Kisumi screamed, spilled the drink on himself, and nearly fell off his sit. Sousuke laughed.

“Sousuke.”

“Father.”

If Rin thought that Sousuke can be intimidating, he clearly forgot how it feels being scanned by his father’s eyes. He did not even notice when he took his arm off from around Sousuke’s shoulders and slowly slid from his lap onto the sofa, legs hitting the floor as his eyes looked down.

He always cringed at how official Sousuke and his father were with each other.

“Sir!” Kisumi barely able to stand in a straight line squeaked. “I… I…”

Mr Yamazaki raised one eyebrow and watched, not amused, how Kisumi stuttered. In a different situation Rin would probably laugh.

Closer it was clear that the man really did not change much, his face still young. He made an interesting contrast to Sousuke, his suit perfectly fit, stylish gold watch on his wrist, a ring on his pinky and another on his ring finger. Short black hair smoothed back, he was standing straight and sure. Sousuke’s hair was all over the top of his head, suffering from Rin’s fingers tugging at it. He tried to sit more properly since he was practically half lying down with Rin on him just seconds before, straightening the black jacket he had on.

“You’ve got time until the end of next week,” Mr Yamazaki said.

Kisumi nodded enthusiastically. “Thank you.”

“Come on, Takeshi.” The man Rin saw with Sousuke’s dad showed up behind him. “Let the kids have fun.”

Completely ignoring him, Takeshi asked Sousuke, “How’s school?”

Sousuke lifted his thumb up, making him roll his eyes.

“Tell him you got an offer from Australia!” Rin punched him in his arm. Good lord, they need some communication advice.

“Right,” Sousuke said. “I received offers from all the universities I cared about. Just need to choose now.”

“Good.” Takeshi seemed to be thinking about something, but before he could continue the other man hit him in his back. He stumbled and looked at him, his hands curled into fists and ready to snap. “Isao…!”

“Why you did not say anything!” Completely ignoring Sousuke’s dad, Isao patted Sousuke on his back.

“Congratulations!”

“Thanks,” Sousuke said with a grin.

“That’s impressive.” The man straightened up and shook his head at Takeshi. “You should be jumping from happiness, having a son like him. Look what I need to deal with.” He pointed at Kisumi.

“Thanks, Dad,” Kisumi scolded, crossing his arms over his chest.

He did not look like his father at all, thought Rin surprised. The man had shockingly dark grey hair and looked quite a bit older than Sousuke’s father. Wrinkles were visible around his bright eyes which stared kindly. He was definitely in a less form than Takeshi, too. The only thing that made it pretty obvious that Kisumi was his son was the cheerful attitude they both shared.

“How is your basketball doing, then?”

“Not bad, thank you very much!”

“Not bad,” Kisumi’s dad repeated with a sigh, rubbing his eyes.

Rin watched as Mr Yamazaki ignored them for the sake of scanning the club, completely not moved by the scolding he just received from Mr Shigino. He did notice Sousuke quickly looking at him, with some sort of expectation, but it was gone from his eyes before you could blink.

“I need to talk to you later.” Sousuke’s dad focused again on his son. “In about an hour, once I finish the business meeting, so go through the back doors and meet me there.”

“Sure,” he replied, and watched as Takeshi walked away with Isao loyally following.

“Oh, my god, I am still alive.” Kisumi rather not gracefully sat again and took a deep calming breath.

Sousuke shook his head.

“You father is pretty scary,” Nagisa spoke up, making everyone laugh slightly nervously.

“He just looks like that. Ray of sunshine deep inside, really,” said Sousuke, scratching his neck.

Kisumi laughed sarcastically and threatened to throw a drink in his face.

Rin just now noticed that Sousuke’s hand was still around him, the touch light and protective.

“He looks… powerful,” Rei added, eyebrows frowned, deeply thinking about something.

Rin looked at him curiously, but Rei did not add anything else as Nagisa started nagging him about going to the dance floor again. To everyone’s shock, he finally went with a triumphantly singing Nagisa.

“They’re cute,” Kisumi commented. “I need a boyfriend. Everyone has a boyfriend. Why I don’t have a boyfriend?” He sighed and laid his head on the table.

“Oh, god. Not this again.” Sousuke closed his eyes and got kicked in the leg by Kisumi, making him push the guy on the floor in return.

“Bitch!” screamed Kisumi, quickly standing up and sitting back by him. “What?”

Sousuke just started laughing at him, receiving slap after slap in the arm from Kisumi until he caught his hand. “I’m done, I’m done.”

Meanwhile, Rin bent a bit over the table to talk to Makoto and Haru.

“Cheer up, Haru,” he said with a grin. “You said maybe three words since we came here!”

“I am not in the mood.” Haru did not even look at him, making him roll his eyes.

Rin looked back at Makoto with a sigh. “How do you stand him everyday? You should get a medal.”

Makoto laughed and lightly patted Haru on his back. “He’s just in a bad mood today.”

Haru did not say anything.

“I’d leave him and go dance with Nagisa and Rei, if I were you,” Rin said, tired of Haru’s behaviour.

Makoto shook his head lightly, but he looked down at his hands, a sad smile on his face.

Rin always thought Makoto and Haru are pretty much the pitch perfect couple. People were calling them married when they were still kids because they were so inseparable. Rin was jealous of them because he always wished to have such relationship himself, but the only man he felt for what he thought Haru and Makoto were feeling for each other was far away from him. Come to think of it, as much as the separation hurt, he knew that it made his relationship with Sousuke so much stronger than what it would be if they’d never realise how much being without each other upsets them. What’s important, they knew when to call each other out on their bullshit.

As far as he knew, Makoto never called out Haru on his bullshit which resulted in the expected – Haru was always taking Makoto for granted. And Rin knew Haru loved Makoto, but sometimes he wanted to punch him for using the guy’s good heart.

Seeing Haru side-eying Makoto after he only talked with Sousuke and Kisumi gave him an idea that if he would push Makoto on the dance floor, it would quickly result in girls and boys flirting and dancing with him which would have Haru running after him and finally realising that Makoto can always go away.

He wasn’t helpful in fulfilling the plan, though.

“Oi, you!” He turned to see Sousuke smoking one of Kisumi’s fags. “You’re a swimmer!”

“Chill, it’s just one.” He tugged at Rin’s hair jokingly. “Not gonna die from it. Anyway,” he stood up. “got to see my father.”

“Good luck,” Kisumi laughed as Sousuke walked away.

Rin felt the boy smoothly sliding across the seat to bump into his side. “So, you’re enjoying being back in Japan, huh?” He winked, cheekily smiling.

Rin felt his cheeks burning. “Yeah, sure.”

“I heard it was pretty crap in Australia, but at least you had Sou’s father’s friends with you. They’re nice people, so you still had it better than Sou,” he gulped down the shot.

The realisation of what Kisumi just said hit Rin a few seconds late, making him blink and blink again before he finally choked out, “What?!”

“What, what?”

“My Australian parents are Sousuke’s father’s friends?”

“Yeah. Well, or employees of his father, hard to tell with this family,” Kisumi looked at him like he’s an idiot, laughing seeing his open mouth. “Don’t tell me you did not know.”

Rin did not say anything and continued staring at him in complete shock. _What the fuck._

+

“What’s up?”

Sousuke met with his father in a room painted in white and grey, black leather sofas in the middle surrounding a small table. He sat comfortably and stared at his father who was standing on the other side, smoking a cigarette.

“So, you’ve managed to bring Nanase here.”

“It wasn’t difficult,” he replied honestly. “He and his friend came over and wanted to go out in a group, shopping and stuff. So I told them to come here for food.”

“The result is more important than how you’ve done it.” He sat and a smirk showed up on his face. “His father will get a heartattack.”

“Are you planning to kill him here? I don’t really get how bringing policeman’s child to our club is any good for us, he is already ensured we’re Yakuza.” Sousuke looked puzzled. “But, well, at least I’ve learnt something interesting today,” he added.

“Easy, easy.” His father smiled, but his eyes stayed cold. “You will learn in time. What have you learnt?”

“Nanase’s mother was killed by Yakuza.” Sousuke cocked an eyebrow. “You did not tell me that. You told me his father is just a dog constantly trying to screw us up. So we started the war with them…”

“His father did,” Takeshi cut him off before he could finish.

“What exactly did he do that we went as far as murdering that woman?” Sousuke’s eyes were curious; something wasn’t adding up to him.

Mr. Yamazaki did not answer, thinking, seeming to test Sousuke. After a few seconds he stood up slowly with a sigh and went to the little bar at the end of the room to pour himself a drink, his back facing Sousuke.

“Come on, what has he done?”

“He killed your mother.”

The colour drained from Sousuke’s face.


	6. Invincible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We should forgive our enemies, but not before they are hanged”  
> ― Heinrich Heine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Invincible reached over 500 hits on AO3 so to celebrate I decided to post this chapter earlier :) 
> 
> [unbeta’ed for now]
> 
> Comments & kudos are very appreciated!
> 
> [FYI, I will also write side stories to Invincible. The first one to be published soon will be focused on Sousuke's father]

“What?” Sousuke whispered.

His father was silent for awhile, eyes focused on the glass in his hand, thumb sliding across the edge.

“Father.”

“I was away when the police circled the house,” he said quietly. “You were only three weeks old, sleeping by your mom in our bed. She always put you by her side when I was away,” he closed his eyes, painful memories coming back. “They burst into the house, kicking the doors out. She took the gun, put you in your cot, locked the door to your room. They were right behind her so she pointed the gun at them and that’s when he shot her, straight in her heart.” Yamazaki gritted his teeth, anger and pain flashing in his eyes.

“They had no right…” Sousuke choked out.

“Of course they did not… I at least got my revenge, barely a few days later I went to his house and murdered his wife.”

“It was you then…”

“Of course! He was lucky he took the kid out to his parents; she was alone at home so only she got a bullet right in the head. On the other hand making him feel the same pain as me was probably better at the end of the day,” he sighed. “Especially that it was his fault.”

“Why didn’t they lock him up?” Sousuke stood up, arms wrapped around himself, pacing around the room. “He had no right…” he repeated.

“Accident at work. Fear for his safety. Of course not a word about not even giving her a chance to give up,” he shook his head. “He’s a policeman, we’re mafia, they let him go without a problem. Normally we have a pretty good relationship with policemen, judges, they ignore or help us, and we help them in return. Then a few fanatics showed up on their side, a few traitors on ours… It was building up for awhile. He started doing something else, so everything came back to the usual for us.”

Sousuke shook his head, hands forming into fists. His heart was beating fast and he was biting his tongue hard to not snap.

“Time to finish the job,” his father continued, eyes following Sousuke pacing around the room. “That bastard is fishing for information again, he got promoted, and he is in the group of people taking care of our business again. I don’t trust them to keep him on a leash. He does not understand the meaning of untouchable people. I don’t want to just kill him. I want him to suffer. A lot. And do it properly this time.”

Sousuke nodded knowing what his father meant. He expected him to help.

Sousuke did not need to be told.

+

Rin was sitting on his own, playing with the straw in his drink, elbow on the table, cheek on his hand. Sousuke looked around, trying to spot Rin’s friends, and noticed they were on the dance floor. Kisumi was nowhere in sight.

“Why are you sitting alone?” he sat opposite to him to look into his face.

Rin raised his head, making his hand drop to join the other on the table. His mouth was in a thin line, and confusion showed on Sousuke’s face.

“What’s wrong?”

“Was bringing me here some sort of your father’s plan, too?” he asked sarcastically.

Sousuke looked taken aback, eyebrows rising.

“What?”

“Kisumi told me your father stands behind my trip to Australia,” Rin snapped. “What the fuck, Sousuke? I’d understand if he only helped, but apparently people who took care of me were his people too! What kind of stalkerish shit is that!” he shouted the last words, trying and failing to keep himself calm.

Rin wasn’t a fool, but denial was a fantastic way of coping with things you did not want to face. When Kisumi joked about Sousuke’s father killing the man for not knowing he nearly kicked out Yamazaki’s son out of their own club, he thought it was a simple joke. When people started bowing and bodyguards showed up, well, it wasn’t difficult to guess that the man was influential. He always knew Yamazaki has to be an important person, even though he never found out what exactly he was doing. Not surprising people were protecting and respecting him.

He’d even stay blind if Kisumi said that the man just helped him get the place at the school in Australia. Influential, made it easier, after all it was surprising how quickly Rin received the place in a prestigious school, even though he was a good student, in a school like that, they firstly let their people in. He would probably be even thankful!

But the parents who took care of him were Yamazaki’s people too, and that was making his skin crawl.

Sousuke starring at him, not saying anything, pissed him off even more.

“Well?!”

“You wanted to go, he ensured you could go. He even gave you parents who he knew will be good for you,” Sousuke shrugged, surprising Rin with how detached he sounded. “What are you angry about?”

“No one asked you to do that!” Rin shouted. “You could have told me, at least!”

“If we told you, you probably wouldn’t let us do it for you.” Sousuke shrugged again. To Rin it seemed like he was playing the detached card. Sousuke wasn’t a fool, he understood perfectly why Rin was angry. “No one was stalking you, I only knew what you told me,” he looked away. “When you stopped writing I only asked them once if you are ok.”

Rin snapped his mouth shut seeing Sousuke’s hurt look.

Bingo, Sousuke thought. He’d never, ever, normally use the guilt card, especially when it came to Rin. But it was important to ensure Rin won’t dig deeper into the story.

They were quiet for a moment.

Sousuke looked at the dance floor. Nanase was dancing with Makoto and other boys.

Oblivious to who was around him. He could spot their bodyguards, their people, women of Yakuza… And little tipsy Haru was happily dancing with no care for the world.

Laugh while you can, Sousuke thought. He gritted his teeth.

“Can we go for a walk?” he heard Rin’s quiet voice.

He looked back at him, snapping out of his thoughts, already feeling like shit for making him feel guilty. He was too weak for this boy.

“Sure,” he waved for the waiter and quickly explained to him that they’re leaving but other boys are staying so to not take any money from them, he will pay for everything.

They walked out, without much difficulty. Even though the place was full, the bodyguard ensured no one was in their way.

“Wow,” Rin took a deep breath in once they were outside and the door closed after them. The silence ringed in his ears.

He wasn’t sure how late it was, but it was completely dark. The cold wind blew hair out of his face, chilly temperature making him more focused. The drinks, tasty food, warm temperature inside of the club made him sleepy when others left and he was alone with his thoughts.

“Quiet, huh,” said Sousuke as Rin turned to look at him feeling Sousuke putting his jacket on his shoulders. “You’re shaking.” Sousuke explained.

“Blame it on too much information,” Rin murmured but put the jacket on properly and zipped it up. He breathed in the smell. Damnit.

“Too much information?” Sousuke cocked his head to the side.

“Oh, you know,” Rin jumped off the last step and threw over his shoulder: “Not everyday you find that your best friend is a gangster.”

+

“Well, well,” Isao sat comfortably by Takeshi, who was smoking with his eyes closed. “Your son likes that pink haired boy, huh.”

Takeshi’s head lolled to the side to look at him unamused. “I don’t know what’s his obsession with pink hair, first him, then your son, now both of them.”

Isao laughed. “I think they’re just friends with Kisumi even if they fooled around before, but he looks at… what’s his name, Rin, isn’t, he looks at him like my son looks at diamonds.”

“Fool,” Takeshi shook his head. “He will break him.”

“You don’t even know anything about this boy.”

“He is one of those who go where it’s the best for them, not looking back. If there was no loyalty in him at the age of twelve, I don’t want to imagine what he grew up to be,” he cringed. “I got rid of him once, those idiots were supposed to ensure he will love it there and stay.”

“Sousuke doesn’t know it was you, does he?” the man sighed. He never approved of his friend’s so called parental techniques. Getting rid of a child, kid’s only friend, because he was making him happy, or in his friend’s words “too emotional”? He was surprised Sousuke grew up capable of any sort of good emotions. Seeing him looking at Rin with so much warmth in his eyes made him beyond happy. He wasn’t surprised he did everything to be with the boy. Whenever he reminded himself about the little boy being slapped around for looking for a bit of love it made his heart ache. He was glad Sousuke was strong enough to get through it and look for the happiness he deserved, especially after the last few years of being on his father’s leash.

“No, he still thinks those gangsters tried to kill the boy,” he rolled his eyes. “One of the reasons he came here was to keep him safe. He’d find him earlier if he weren’t sick.”

“So your plan turned against you,” Isao noticed.

“I guess telling him that I was the so called gangster threatening his friend’s life would be even worse,” he shrugged. “They will separate soon anyway. No need to tell him it was all a game.”

“They seem to be pretty into each other, Takeshi…”

“I still remember Sousuke’s three wishes,” Takeshi closed his eyes for a moment. “Win Olympics, make me finally proud, and see Rin.” He sighed. “He thought it’s the end. I told him to fight. He won. I have no right to stop him from seeing that boy now, even if I think that’s the worst decision of his life.”

“Maybe you’re wrong about that kid,” Isao cocked his head to the side. “You can’t form your opinion about him on his choice when he was twelve.”

“He is friends with those boys that came with Nanase,” he explained. “Who do you think a 17 years old boy will choose? One boy who he has a crush on, who everybody will tell him to stay away from, for who he would need to give up on his friends, maybe some of his dreams, who will pull him into our dangerous world, where everyday he will live in fear and wonder if Sousuke or he himself won’t be shot dead… or a group of friends and world where he will be safe, oblivious, carrying on pursuing his dreams, the swimming career?”

Isao did not answer.

+

Rin and Sousuke were quiet for awhile. They were walking by each other, towards the park. Rin did not know why, but he just wanted to go there with Sousuke. It was that special place where he was going whenever he was trying to put his life in order.

“You haven’t seen the new fountain, have you?” Rin smiled and pushed Sousuke to sit on the bench.

“Fountain?” he asked confused.

Rin grinned and then jumped onto a flat stone. Sousuke raised his eyebrows but his jaw dropped when he saw colourful lights starting to appear around them and water running out of holes and pipes. The lights were changing to their own rhythm and it looked absolutely beautiful sitting right in the middle of it all.

He heard a cheeky laugh and then felt Rin’s hand bumping into his jaw, closing his mouth.

“Cool, huh?”

“Pretty impressive,” he said watching leaves on the trees moving lightly with the wind, the lights colouring them. “How on earth I did not know about this.”

“Well, you were pretty busy recently, weren’t you,” Rin bumped into his shoulder. “It was a bit difficult to get to you lately.”

“Sorry,” he murmured. “I tried to help someone.”

“Your sister.” Rin stated making Sousuke look at him in shock. “I’m not as dumb as you think I am, you know.”

“I don’t think that you are dumb,” he tugged at Rin’s hair. “I don’t want to pull you into any of this.”

“That’s pretty difficult considering we spend every single day together,” he patted Sousuke on his back in a sarcastic manner.

Sousuke pursued his lips. Of course he knew that Rin would find out sooner or later. Especially since he was told to bring him to the club. Gosh, if not the fact that Rin ended up on their enemies’ list awhile ago already, when Sousuke did not even know that they belong to the mafia world, he probably would never reunite with him, as much as it would hurt, he wouldn’t put him in danger by associating him with his family. But when he heard that Rin is back in Japan, he had to find him to ensure his safety.

It probably was a slightly selfish choice. Rin would be even safer if he gave him a bodyguard instead. Showing people that he cares about him put him in obvious danger.

But after 5 years of being completely alone, he felt that he would either start living a slightly more normal life, or he will get completely insane. Especially the last two years were a nightmare. Kisumi was the only person who treated him like another random guy, and let him feel like a teenager sometimes, making him rebel, and doing stupid stuff with him. Other people treated him as mafia boss’ son and you do not make friends with such without having a death wish. He had no one who wasn’t linked to mafia.

There was also the fact that he did not trust anyone to keep Rin safe as much as he trusted himself. No one was trained as well as he was.

“I’d never let anything happen to you,” Sousuke looked at his hands. “But if you don’t want to…”

“Don’t even finish that,” Rin stopped him sharply. “I’m not some pussy.”

“Oh God,” Sousuke laughed at his comment and put his arm around him. “Rin, do you even know what you are talking about?” his grip on Rin’s shoulder tightened.

“Not really, and let’s just keep it that way for now,” he admitted scratching his head. “I have enough information to absorb.”

“Okay.”

They sat in silence for awhile, Sousuke’s fingers lightly sliding up and down Rin’s arm unconsciously.

Rin looked at him. He wasn’t sure how much he wanted to know, if he had to be completely honest. The truth scared him. And that not even about what Sousuke might need to do one day, or what he perhaps has done already. He was only seventeen, there was no way he did anything awful… Yet. Hopefully never. Rin did not want to think about it. Sousuke’s father’s harsh tactics were making more sense to him now and he hated them even more. So since the beginning Yamazaki was raising his child to be the perfect mafia boss, basically. As strict, cold, and patronising as his father.

Rin understood the reason. Wouldn’t being emotionless make so many things in life easier? Especially in such life. But when he remembered the little kid crying in front of the man, not talking to Rin, hiding from him, not wanting to be on the same team… Rin was ensured at this point that Sousuke’s father stood behind everything since the beginning…

God, he hated that man.

+

“Do you think Rin and Sousuke are together?” Nagisa took a deep breath of the fresh air, once all the boys walked out of the club.

“I think Rin really wants to be with Sousuke,” Makoto stretched his arms with a yawn. “And I think Sousuke really wants to be with Rin. I am not sure if they realise each other’s feelings, though.”

Nagisa chuckled. “I never seen Rin so happy, he was glowing and looking at Sousuke all the time with so much fond.”

“Well they separated for five years, and Rin called him his best friend before, didn’t he,” Rei walked besides Nagisa. “No wonder they can’t get enough of each other.”

“That’s not how you look at best friends, Rei,” Nagisa corrected him. “That was loooove.”

Makoto laughed at Nagisa dancing on the street, Rei quickly pulling him back on the pavement from the street.

“I think it was creepy when Kisumi said that his father stood behind Rin’s trip, though.” Rei looked at them, scratching his neck.

“He didn’t make him leave,” Makoto corrected him. “Rin wanted to leave himself. He just helped.”

“Yeah, but he did not know about that. Anyway,” he sighed frustrated. “I feel like I know Sousuke’s father from somewhere and I can’t figure out from where.”

“I don’t know.” Makoto shook his head.

Haru stayed quiet, but Makoto could see him listening to them carefully, body stiff, jaw clenched. He sometimes really wanted to make Haru forget about everything. He never approved of his father reminding Haru all the time about Yakuza killing his mom, obsessing over the subject, resulting in Haru seeing a gangster in everybody. It was unhealthy.

Luckily his father was obsessing over their safety, instead of looking for revenge.

+

Rin sighed. It was already three am, and he could not sleep.

Easy to say, he though, just needing to absorb the new information. He did not find out that Sousuke changed his hair colour, he found out that his best friend, the boy he was falling in love more and more, was a gangster. Not even some random one running after the bosses doing some shitty tasks, he was the son of the actual boss.

And he could not comprehend it. He knew as much about gangsters as he saw in the movies. Mainly the Hollywood ones. Action, shooting, expensive cars, massive houses, late parties, drugs, money, sex, guys treated with the utmost respect… what not to like?!

Probably that part where most of them get killed or end up in hospital or jail at the end.

Rin groaned in the pillow. He begged his brain to not think about it. To stay in denial. To pretend it’s so damn cool.

But it did not listen.

He wasn’t sure whether it was good or bad to not ask Sousuke for more information. He had an urge earlier, but seeing Sousuke not very keen on talking overall, he didn’t. Sousuke’s behaviour actually surprised him, because he thought that by telling him about discovering his secret, he would either try to ensure him that he is wrong, or come up with some other bullshit. But, no, Sousuke stayed quiet.

Rin wondered if his father told him something upsetting again. Seeing Sousuke not reacting to Rin finding out, and then going to his bed not saying much… It reminded him of the little hope in his eyes when he looked at his father after Kisumi’s father congratulated him on getting accepted in all the universities. It was gone so quickly from his eyes, and it upset Rin to think how Sousuke has no expectations for his father. When they were still little and Rin blabbered about his mother congratulating him on his good grades, or winning competitions, taking him out for ice-creams to spend time together, at the beginning Sousuke was looking confused, then just stayed quiet.

He was getting presents for the really big achievements, though. Where he could not get any better, when he really achieved the absolute best. If he did not, he was ignored. Or screamed at.

Rin cringed.

“Go to sleep, Rin.”

He jumped hearing Sousuke’s soft voice from the bottom bunk.

“You go to sleep.” He hissed. How the hell Sousuke knew he wasn’t sleeping? Why wasn’t he sleeping himself?

“You’re thinking so loudly it’s waking me up,” he heard.

“Stop reading my thoughts, muppet.”

“Then stop thinking.”

“Sorry, I don’t have a switch for my brain.”

“Too bad.”

“If you’re so clever, come here and help me fall asleep, asshole,” he regretted spitting it out before he finished.

What the _fuck_ , Rin.

He listened mortified to Sousuke shuffling around and closed his eyes seeing him jumping off the bed.

“Well, you’re going to move, or…” Without opening his eyes, Rin moved to the side.

Sousuke laid down by him, and he sighed feeling his arm sliding across his middle to turn him to face Sousuke.

He blushed furiously feeling Sousuke’s warm lips kissing the corner of his.

“Go to sleep. We will talk tomorrow.”

Sousuke fallen asleep soon after, but Rin couldn’t. He turned in his arms, making Sousuke murmur something unconsciously in his neck, ticking him behind his ear with his nose.

Rin caressed Sousuke’s hand. His thumb slid across the pinky ring, slowly across each letter.

_**Invincible** _

Rin closed his eyes tight. He hoped it was true.


	7. The dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You are, and always have been, my dream.”
> 
> ― Nicholas Sparks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I wanted to thank every single person who clicked "kudos", not to mention commented or sent me a message! This chapter is for you, guys!
> 
> It really does not take any time to simply click "kudos" if you are reading and enjoying. Please do so :)
> 
> [If you did not notice, Takeshi & Isao & Sousuke story was published as well, as separate work.]

“Sousuke! Rin!”

They growled at once hearing someone knocking loudly on their door. Rin yawned and stretched his arms. Sousuke only mumbled something in his neck, and tugged him closer, not opening his eyes. Rin turned his head as much as he could and blew air in his hair. Sousuke scrunched his nose.

“Rin! Sousuke!”

“One moment!” Rin shouted back.

Sousuke hissed and hid his head under a pillow.

“Get up, muppet.” Rin shook his shoulder and then stood up.

Brushing his hair with his hand, he tried to make himself look at least a little bit presentable. He opened the door, making Momo and Ai nearly fall, as they were ready to knock annoyingly loud once again, pressing against the surface.

“Sorry!” Ai squeaked embarrassed, while Momo pushed past him and threw himself at Sousuke who shouted and gathered himself up with light speed. Rin laughed. It seemed Momo decided he treated Sousuke like the boss for long enough.

“What the hell?!” Sousuke threw a pillow at Momo who was giggling.

“Delivery!”

“What?” he asked confused.

“There’s delivery to you, outside,” he explained, clearly excited, clapping his hands. “Massive truck! They have something for you but did not want to say anything!”

“What’s taking you so long, bitches?” They all turned to find no one else but Kisumi standing at the door, cheeky smile on his face, massive black sunglasses covering the rest of it.

Rin starred down, and with surprise noticed no high heels.

“High heels are for the night, sweetie.” He quickly looked up hearing Kisumi’s voice. He was smirking at him. “To steal the man. You should take that into consideration.” Kisumi tellingly side-eyed Sousuke who was currently kicking Momo out of their bed. Then he moved his eyes up to look at the perfectly done top bed and his mouth twisted in a cheeky smile once again. “Or maybe you don’t need to.”

Ai gaped with his mouth open.

Rin spluttered and blushed red. “That’s not how it…”

“Oh god, what are we, twelve?” Kisumi rolled his eyes, making Rin blush even harder. It annoyed him that he was making him feel immature. “Come on, there’s a present waiting.”

“What are you even doing here?” Sousuke spoke up, his hand holding Momo by his shirt and he finally managed to push him on the floor from the bed.

“Your father sent me here to ensure you’re going to get the present as you should.” Kisumi said very seriously. “And in truth, I just wanted to see what it is.”

“Present from my dad?”

“I know right,” Kisumi grinned excited. “Hurry the hell up, it’s like something in a massive truck, so…”

They were outside five minutes later.

There were already quite a few people gathered around, curiously looking, some even trying to get out of the delivery man what’s in the truck. He smiled with relief when he saw Sousuke and other guys walking by his side.

“Mr Yamazaki!”

Sousuke came closer and looked around, embarrassed. “I don’t think my father understands what keeping it low profile means.”

The guy laughed with certain fond in his voice. He went to the truck and pressed the button on the side of the back door. The door started slowly sliding up. Sousuke stopped breathing when Rin and Kisumi stood on his sides, curiously picking.

The object inside was covered with a shiny silver material, but it was pretty clear that it was a car. Sousuke whistled, ignoring the gasps around him. He started jumping a little bit on his feet, because he was recognising the build. Could it really be…

“Oh shit,” he heard Kisumi’s laugh, felt him grasping his arm and shaking a little. “Your father, man…”

The car slowly slid down from the truck, and Sousuke tried to ignore people taking out their phones to start recording and take pictures.

So this was his father’s answer for keeping it low profile, huh.

Rin sighed.

“I did not even know you could drive.”

To be fair, he was standing like stuck to the ground out of shock, but he was probably slowly getting used to the surprises that came with knowing Sousuke, so he was not gasping like others. Soon someone will tell him that Sousuke baths in milk and he will just shrug. Compared to belonging to mafia, what’s a car delivered to school?

Kisumi chuckled.

“Shall we uncover, Mr Yamazaki?” the man asked.

“Yes.”

“No.” Kisumi covered his face, making Sousuke look at him confused. “I am not ready.”

“Shut up,” he laughed, pushing him away jokingly.

The man smiled and swiftly slid the cover off, uncovering Sousuke’s car.

“Holy shit.” Sousuke put a hand over his mouth, starring in disbelief. Right in front of him stood a Mustang. His dream car.

“I am glad we’re friends,” said honestly Kisumi, nodding in appreciation. “What a beaut, congratulations. But.” He fixed his shirt’s collar. “I’ve got to go, this unfortunately wasn’t my only job for today.” He patted Sousuke on his back and ruffled Rin’s hair making him hiss. Kisumi laughed and walked away, shaking his head. Sousuke lifted his hand to wave a little bit too late, eyes on the car.

“Keys.” The man handed them Sousuke, who took a deep breath. “Everything is sorted, you, sir, just need to sign that the Mustang was delivered.” He gave him a pen, and he signed the document feeling his hand shaking.

“Okay.” He turned to look at Rin who was standing with his mouth open. “I don’t know what’s going on, but we need to leave. Right now.” He was starting to feel slightly claustrophobic with everybody trying to get closer, trying to steal a look at the car, taking pictures and videos.

“Ok,” Rin said without thinking.

“Yeah.” Sousuke starred at the car again, the black matte finish shining in the sun. He shook his head and finally gathered himself, seeing people pressing more and more against them. “Let’s go.” He grabbed Rin’s hand, clicked the key, and opened the door for Rin. Sousuke pushed Rin lightly into the passenger sit, and then quickly went behind the wheel. When he started the engine the low growl made him sigh in pleasure. “Good lord.”

“Can you, like, go?” he heard Rin’s voice. “You can have sex with the car later, when people won’t try to jump on it, alright.”

Sousuke laughed but pressed his foot against the pedal.

When the car moved, people quickly jumped out of the way.

*

They were silent for awhile, trying to understand what just happened. Rin did not ask where Sousuke was driving. He just let him without saying anything.

He remembered being jealous of Sousuke’s new playstation and games. Rin started to laugh.

“Huh?” Sousuke snapped out of his thoughts.

“Nothing, I am just…” Rin did not know how to gather his thoughts. “Is this some kind of weird dream?” He looked confused and waved his hand tellingly. “I mean, I know your father is rich, but how… isn’t this too much?”

He starred judgingly at him, seeing Sousuke stopping himself from laughing.

“I mean,” Sousuke started explaining himself. “I did not expect that…”

“No shit,” Rin snorted. “Who the hell expects to get a brand new car out of nowhere, without a reason, delivered right to school?”

“I guess he ordered it when I passed the test, a few months ago. I never asked for a car since he has so many I just took whichever I wanted in Tokyo if I needed to drive somewhere. He has this gorgeous old Mustang…”

“Is he some car fanatic?”

“Yeah. He loves his cars.” He smiled a bit, surprising Rin. It was probably the first time he saw Sousuke smiling mentioning his father. “To be fair making a big scene out of it, ensuring it’s delivered at noon on Saturday to school which is the perfect time if you want everybody to be there and see… I think it was a middle finger to my idea.”

“A middle finger to your idea?”

“I told him I want to keep low profile.”

“Ohhh,” Rin laughed.

“My father is a proud man,” said Sousuke, eyes on the road. “He doesn’t hide. He doesn’t want anyone to hide. It’s funny, when you think about it. Because he presents himself as this strict, cold man who has everything in control, and he does, but at the same time sometimes he’s still simply a rebel screaming ‘fuck police’ deep inside,” he snorted.

“Aren’t all men children deep inside?” Rin grinned.

“Yeah, exactly.” Sousuke was trying to stay serious, but he was grinning like a child himself. “Well, I am not going to complain.”

Rin laughed.

The phone ringed, making them jump. Sousuke picked it up, smile not coming off his face.

“Hey, dad.”

“I was waiting for you to call me…”

“I needed a few minutes to get over the shock, jeee,” Sousuke sighed dramatically. “Nice one, dad. A GT 500, really?”

Rin couldn’t hear what Takeshi was saying, but he punched Sousuke’s arm hearing his theatrical voice.

“Nice one?” Takeshi asked and Sousuke would probably get slapped in the head if he could. “That’s your sort of thank you? You better keep your good work or I will take it away.”

“I’ve learned from the best,” he smirked. “And don’t worry about me, I will be fine, thanks…”

“I’m not worried,” Takeshi snorted. “You’re welcome.”

Sousuke rolled his eyes but there was a smile on his face. To Rin he looked like a little boy on Christmas. He grinned.

“I’ve got to go. Have a nice weekend.”

“Woah, what happened to you? Are you okay?” Sousuke looked at his phone to check if he was definitely talking with his father. “What have you done with my father?”

Rin raised his eyebrows.

Takeshi only made an annoyed noise and ended the call. Sousuke put his phone away.

“Well that was weird.”

“What did your dad say?” Rin asked.

“Wished me a good weekend,” Sousuke said shocked. “This man, I swear…”

“Is that weird for your dad to wish you that?” Rin bit his lip.

“I am still getting used to this side of him, to be fair.”

“This side of him?”

Sousuke sighed. He never really talked about his father to anyone. The man was an enigma to him, so he felt that if he would tell someone about him, he would be half lying. To explain the change completely he would need to talk about being sick not that long ago, too, and that he definitely did not want to mention.

“He’s different when he’s in public, when he is only with me, when he’s with his friends, when he’s doing his job… Which one of those is the true him, though, I am not sure,” he shrugged. “He once told me that it’s better if no one knows your true face. I don’t think I want to know which is the true him, to be fair.”

Rin played with the sleeve of his jumper that he quickly put on before rushing outside with others to see what was going on. Sousuke’s father confused him. Yesterday he did not blink when he heard that all the prestigious universities accepted his son and today there’s a delivery of a car for Sousuke for passing another test? Is it just a continuation of no emotions but presents technique? But if Sousuke says his father changed…

“You don’t seem too bothered,” Rin noticed.

“He is a difficult person but he isn’t that bad.” Sousuke looked around and Rin finally noticed that they were driving through some forest, until they reached a little field with wild grass and a lake in the middle. Once Sousuke stopped the engine, and it became quiet, the silence ringing in Rin’s ears suddenly making him aware how loud the car was, he took a better look around.

It was a gorgeous place, hidden from the city. The warm weather, the sun shining, reflecting in the lake, only added to the beauty of it.

“Should I be worried that you just took me to some separated, away from everybody place, right after I found out that you belong to mafia?” Rin asked jokingly.

Sousuke side-eyed him, face serious. “You should, shouldn’t you?”

“Eh?” Rin laughed but the sound died in his throat when Sousuke cocked an eyebrow. “Sousuke?” he asked confused but his friend just unlocked the seatbelt and walked out of the car. “Sousuke? What the…” He jumped when the door on his side smoothly opened out of sudden. Rin clutched his own seatbelt. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the…

Sousuke crouched by him with one hand on the car. There was a cheeky smile on his face. “Did you piss yourself yet?”

“Fuck you!” Rin slapped his arm, making Sousuke laugh. “Asshole, you seriously scared me there!”

“Shows how much you trust me, huh?” Sousuke stood up and extended his hand for Rin to take. “I promised we would talk. Let’s talk then.”

Rin swallowed hard and then put his hand in Sousuke’s letting him pull him out. He did not protest when Sousuke did not let go and walked them to the lake, so they could sit by it comfortably. It was so warm Rin took off his jumper and placed it on his knees, starring down at it.

Was he really scared of Sousuke?

“Sorry for frightening you.” He heard his voice and looked up to see Sousuke’s worried face. “It wasn’t the best idea to do it right after…”

“No,” Rin smiled. “I’m just… so confused I don’t know what to think anymore, that’s all,” he scratched the back of his neck.

Sousuke exhaled loudly and laid down, arms supporting his head.

“Ok,” he began, clearing his throat. “You weren’t supposed to know in the first place, but since Kisumi got there and then my father with Isao… it kind of got out of control. Not to mention Nanase and his obsession.”

“I would need to be really dumb to not figure it out, you know.” Rin side-eyed him.

Sousuke cracked a smile and then started explaining. “My family has belonged to Yakuza since god knows how long. Do you know anything about the history of it?” he asked.

“Not really,” he answered honestly, playing with his jumper.

Sousuke chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Yakuza isn’t just one group. There are a few main groups in Japan. But there’s always been the… boss of all the bosses. Before my dad, granddad made sure that we’re one of the highest in rank as a group, however he never became that kind of a boss. He was struggling with his health a lot and died pretty young, so he did not have a chance to try either.”

“Sorry.” Rin laid by him, their arms touching.

“He died when I was only around one, so…” Sousuke smiled sadly. “Eh. My dad had to step in when he was only twenty.”

“That young?”

“Yeah. You’d think everything would go downhill in his hands at such a young age. We get into business when we’re sixteen but can’t compare that with becoming a boss of the group. Also my dad decided that he would keep us in the highest rank AND become the boss of all the bosses.”

“Did he?” Rin starred with his mouth open. Holy shit.

Sousuke nodded.

“Wow.” Rin rolled on his front and began plucking little flowers from the ground. He was starting to feel like in some sort of a movie. To be fair, the situation was so surrealistic that it was hard to believe – and that was probably the reason he wasn’t freaking out majorly. He was refusing it to get to him.

He will probably regret it later.

“That’s the reason he was never at home,” Sousuke continued after a few moments of silence. His eyes were closed. “He can’t lose control even for a second.”

“Is it the police you fear the most, or other gangsters? Would anyone even dare to go against him, or such things do not happen?”

“He doesn’t fear the police, they’re mostly bought anyway,” answered Sousuke. “I don’t think he fears anyone, which is probably not the wisest thing to do. But he is aware who tries to stick a knife in his back and that’s enough. He doesn’t trust anyone… You know, there’s always a group that wants to become the best. It’s a constant fight. Like in swimming.”

“We do it in a slightly different way, though, I guess,” Rin tickled Sousuke’s nose with the flower, making him scrunch his nose adorably.

In Rin’s mind, at least.

“Yeah.” Sousuke opened his eyes and stole the flower from Rin’s hand.

“Hey!”

“No tickling,” he side-eyed him, trying to keep serious.

Rin made a ‘pff’ noise and started putting the rest of the little flowers in Sousuke’s hair instead.

“Seriously?” Sousuke looked at him with disbelief. “I’m talking about mafia and you put freaking flowers in my hair?”

“Not manly enough for the bad man, is it?” Rin sighed dramatically. “Wait until I get a picture of you.”

“Oh hell no,” Sousuke caught his hand making him laugh. Rin tried to sneak out of his reach but Sousuke was stronger and without a problem put an arm around him and somehow Rin ended up on his knees like the last night. Rin’s arm found its way around his shoulders and he lightly bumped their heads together laughing. Then they were silent for a moment, just sitting like that, not thinking about changing their position.

“Sousuke,” Rin said quietly. “I don’t need to know everything. I know you can’t tell me. Or don’t want to tell me. Just promise me one thing…”

The ocean coloured eyes met his, full of curiosity. Sousuke’s hand was on his back, the touch protective.

“… Promise me you won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

It was probably the innocence of it that made Sousuke look at him with so much fond, warm smile on his face, but Rin blushed remembering how it always has been his wish for Sousuke to look at him like that. Dared he say that maybe, just maybe, there really was love in those eyes.

“Would you care if…” Sousuke’s question slipped out before he could stop it, he bit his lip not finishing, shame flashing in his eyes.

“Of course I would, you muppet.” He tugged at his hair in disbelief, and then with a little smile brushed a few strands of his unruly hair behind his ear. “I need you in my life. I thought it’s obvious, isn’t?”

Sousuke smiled a bit weirdly at him then and nodded trying to look convincing but he did not look at him while doing it, awkwardly pretending something else caught his eye. Rin had none of it and his fingers grasped Sousuke’s chin and made him look at Rin properly again. Sousuke seemed ashamed.

“I don’t know why you doubt that I love you,” Rin swallowed hard, seeing Sousuke’s eyes growing big. Maybe he wasn’t as obvious to Sousuke as he thought, but it did not matter anymore. “But I do. I don’t want to lose you. You have no idea how happy I was when you reunited us, I was dreaming about that day, I…”

Sousuke did not let him finish, lifting his hand to put it on Rin’s cheek, the touch light but sure. He brought their faces closer, stopping when their lips were millimetres apart. He was asking Rin for permission, and Rin closed his eyes, pulling closer himself finally letting their lips meet in a kiss.

*

A man stood by the window, looking at his beautiful garden full of colourful flowers. His eyes were bright, hair white as the short beard he was twirling around his fingers. He heard knocking and called for the person to come in.

A young guy walked in, looking around twenty years old. He had a nice smile on his face, blonde wavy hair and blue eyes. He picked curiously at the man standing in front of the window.

“Tell me son,” the man spoke. “How close do you think Yori and Sousuke are? Do you think they trust each other?”

“Pretty close, I’d say,” he shrugged, sitting on the sofa in front of the fireplace. “They’re meeting behind their father’s back, they are calling each other… She trusts him, but if he trusts her… Who knows?”

His father nodded and was silent for awhile.

“I don’t understand what’s the whole point,” the blonde said, frustration clear in his voice. “I thought I was supposed to seduce her to piss off Takeshi, to weaken him, and that’s when we would attack and kick him out of his pedestal…”

The man laughed. “Oh son, you have still so much to learn. Don’t underestimate Takeshi.”

“Maybe if you’d enlighten me more often, I wouldn’t need to,” he said sarcastically.

He sat opposite to his son with grace. “You were supposed to seduce her so she will leave the house and put her trust in us.”

“What for? It’s not like she knows anything about them. Now he won’t trust her and tell her anything.”

“You’re forgetting about Sousuke,” he pointed out.

“He doesn’t tell her anything important,” he shrugged again.

“No, but she will take me to Sousuke when the boy won’t expect anything.”

“Sousuke?” he looked surprised, his eyebrows raised. “What do you need to kill him for? He’s only seventeen. Why not go straight for Takeshi?”

“I will get to Takeshi through his son.” His father explained, an ugly smile on his face, but seeing the question in his son’s eyes he continued. “Don’t compare Yori to Sousuke. Sousuke is Takeshi’s precious son. Umiko’s son. His heir, the one who is meant to take control over everything one day… The son he nearly lost.”

“He will burn us all down if we’re going to kill Sousuke,” he said honestly.

“He lost his wife. He lost his daughter. He will lose Sousuke. He’s a cold man, but that will break him. Before he will lose it, he is going to be the most vulnerable. And that’s when we will attack.”

The blonde smiled, showing his perfect white teeth.


	8. Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I will hurt you for this. I don’t know how yet, but give me time. A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you’ll know the debt is paid.”
> 
> ― George R.R. Martin

Rin heard a lot about first kisses.

People either admitted to them being awkward or the most amazing experience in the world. He always thought it’s probably half of each. Of course you’re going to feel butterflies when you kiss the person you love or at least feel lust for, and of course it’s going to be awkward, trying to kiss someone for the first time in your life.

He whimpered when Sousuke’s hands slid down to his hips and shifted him on his lap so he could face him properly. Sousuke tilted his head and deepened the kiss, Rin’s arms draping over his shoulders.

Butterflies? He was in freaking heaven!

He lightly pushed Sousuke on his back, without stopping the kiss, feeling his fingers digging into his hips. Just because Sousuke surely knew what he was doing, Rin did not want to show him his inexperience.

Tongues battling for dominance, he let Sousuke switch their positions, tugging at his short hair. Rin pulled him closer, not caring about the desperation in his moves, little moans escaping his mouth.

The world could burn the hell down and Rin would not care, finally kissing with Sousuke. All those years he spent alone, regretting ever leaving him. Looking through websites to find information about him, instead of picking his phone up and calling. Spending all time with him once they reunited, sneaking glances. Daring to dream that maybe one day…

"Sousuke," he whimpered, his back arching feeling the warm lips against his neck, placing little kisses down his throat. He tugged at his hair harder, hearing a little laugh. Rin pulled Sousuke up by his hoodie, letting their lips meet in a kiss again, wiping the cheeky smile off his face, Sousuke’s eyes closing, eyelashes tickling his cheeks.

Gosh, his boyfriend was gorgeous.

Rin giggled to himself. Sousuke was his boyfriend, a-ha.

"Huh?" Sousuke looked up from where he was kissing his neck again, confusion clear on his face.

Whoops.

Rin smiled. “Nothing,” he answered innocently, brushing Sousuke’s hair back. “I am just happy.”

Sousuke returned the smile, but before he could say anything, his phone rang. “Are you kidding me…” he growled in annoyance, getting the mobile out of his back pocket, not moving from his place between Rin’s legs. He grinned at him, when Rin cocked an eyebrow.

"Yes?" Sousuke asked and Rin watched him listening to someone talking, him only nodding once in awhile.

He put the phone back once he finished and bent to kiss Rin’s lips again, clearly not having enough. “Do you want to go to Tokyo?”

"Tokyo?" he asked surprised. "When?"

"Right now," Sousuke said like it was obvious, and sat on his knees, pulling Rin with him so he ended up in his arms.

"Are you insane? Tokyo isn’t an hour away…"

"You were mentioning some time ago that you miss your mom and little brother, it’s weekend, nothing stops you from going with me, unless you don’t want to."

Rin slapped his arm. “Of course I want to!” He draped his hands over Sousuke’s shoulders again, showing his white teeth in a big smile. “But Gou will kill you if you’re not going to offer her a trip to see mom.” Rin played with Sousuke’s hair.

"Well, we have free space," he shrugged. "It’s not a problem to me."

"What do you need from Tokyo anyway?"

"Meet someone. Get something from our house. Call Gou and tell her to get ready, we’re going to pick her up after we pack, ok?" Sousuke stood up, and offered him a hand.

Rin stood up with his help, brushing grass and flowers off his jeans, and started calling his sister on his way to the car, smiling to himself when Sousuke took his hand in his without saying anything.

"Hey, sister." Rin said, hearing her sleepy voice on the other side. "What on earth, were you still asleep?!" he asked in disbelief.

"I was revising till late, leave me alone," she answered, yawning.

"Get going then, we’re off to see mom." Rin sat comfortably in the car and smiled hearing her excited squeak.

"What?! My brother is taking me to Tokyo?! What happened to you!"

"Well." He scratched the back of his neck and looked at Sousuke who was currently reversing. "Theoretically, it’s Sousuke taking us."

“‘Theoretically’.” He heard his mocking tone and slapped his arm.

"Sousuke?! So that’s why you sound so happy." She laughed making Rin pursue his lips. "Great, it’s going to be like good old times! When you’re going to pick me up? How many days we’re going for? Why are…"

"Hola, hola," Rin stopped her. "Wait a second…" He looked at Sousuke. "How long we’re going for exactly?"

"Guess we would be back around Monday evening." he waved his hand unsurely. "We don’t have classes on Monday anyway."

"Monday evening," Rin said to Gou. "Would that be alright with you?"

"Sure!"

"Oi, sis…"

"I’m going to pack now, when…"

"We need to pack as well, so in about an hour."

"See you then!"

Rin shook his head and put the phone back in his pocket, stretching his legs out. His head lolled to the side to look at Sousuke who was focused on the road and he smiled to himself.

Never in his life he was happier. Thank God that Sousuke gave him a second chance. Now he did not even want to imagine how life would look like without him.

*

Of course Sousuke was packed within five minutes, threw some of his clothes in the bag without much thought, and left to tell at the reception that they won’t be at Samezuka for a few days. Meanwhile Rin was going through his clothes looking for some of his favourite things to wear. When he finally found what he was looking for he started packing their laptops and looking for chargers. Frustrated when he could not find his own he dived under the bed. He looked in confusion at the black case he found there and pulled it out.

He knew it was rude to go through someone’s things, and considering Sousuke hid it so well that Rin never even noticed it, he did not want him to find it.

It was probably the reason the curiosity won and he opened it.

“Fuck,” he whispered. The case was filled with money, he never saw so much in one place. He grasped it with both hands, thinking how the amount would probably be enough to pay for three years of a prestigious university. He looked down and gasped seeing a gun previously invisible under all of it. Rin took it in his hands, checking it all over, careful to not press. He wondered if Sousuke ever used it…

No. No, definitely not. His father probably gave it to him just in case, but Sousuke wouldn’t put it away if he were meant to use it.

“Rin.”

He shouted throwing it away from himself and stood up with lightspeed to face Sousuke who did not look too happy.

“Sorry! I was looking for a charger…”

Sousuke pointed at the object right by his head. It was on Sousuke’s pillow. Rin sighed, took it in his hand and slipped down to his knees to help Sousuke put the money back in the case. They did not say anything, and Rin finally caught his hand to make him look at him.

“Don’t be mad…”

“I’m not mad,” Sousuke smiled at him, closing the case. “But you shouldn’t touch things like that, you could get hurt.”

“I didn’t try to shoot from it, did I?” he shrugged dismissively. 

Sousuke only shook his head and grabbed their bags before Rin could say anything. “Let’s go.”

*

Their jaws dropped when they saw Gou standing in front of the house with three massive bags. Gou eyed the car with interest and when realised that they are sitting in it, she pointed at it in approval and smiled brightly at them, waving.

“We are going for not even full three days, what on earth?!” Rin whined when Gou hugged Sousuke and him.

“Three days, three bags, what’s so difficult to understand about that?” she looked down on him.

“He took three small bags,” Sousuke said to Gou lifting hers to pack them in the car.

“Traitor,” hissed Rin, seeing Sousuke’s self satisfied smirk as she punched Rin in the arm.

“Where did you take a car from?” she asked curiously, eyeing the mustang. “It’s nice.”

“Sousuke got it from his dad today.” Rin quickly caught Gou seeing her making her way to the front sit. “Oh, no, dear, you’re sitting in the back.”

“What, why!”

“Because I said so!”

“It’s Sousuke’s car!”

“And I sat first in it!”

Sousuke rolled his eyes seeing them fighting and sat behind the wheel without closing his door. It was hot today, so the car was turning into an oven very quickly if the air conditioning wasn’t on. He closed his eyes, and he had to fall asleep because suddenly Rin was shaking his arm.

“You won?” Sousuke sat straight and turned the engine on, rubbing his eyes.

“Yeah,” Rin grinned, looking at Gou who was sitting in the back with a pout on her face, her eyes ready to kill. “Sorry for interrupting your sleep, really.”

“Shut up.”

Rin laughed.

*

It was funny how just sitting, three of them in one place, could make Rin both sentimental and happy. He was grinning seeing Gou and Sousuke joking, talking like the best of friends. He could remember how many happy days they’ve spent together, when they were still children. Gou always liked Sousuke, and he was like a big brother to her since the beginning. Which was pretty big, really, considering guys weren’t normally nice to friends’ little sisters.

But, well, it was Rin who noticed Sousuke.

He could remember the day Sousuke showed up at school like it was yesterday. Their teacher was holding his hand; he was shy, hiding behind her. Rin kneeled on his chair to have a better look at him. First thing he noticed was the short pitch-black hair he was already jealous of, because Sousuke did not look like a girl at all, compared to Rin who was constantly laughed at because of his long pink hair. When Sousuke lifted his head, Rin saw his big eyes and opened his mouth in awe because they were the colour of the ocean that Rin loved.

And he had a cool jacket on. Rin wanted the same one.

When the teacher asked Sousuke where he wishes to sit, Rin quickly ran from his sit up to him to catch his hand and tug him along to sit by him. Sousuke looked like he wanted to disappear from the place altogether, so Rin bit his tongue stopping himself from bombarding him with questions. Instead he kept close, feeling protective of his new friend, keeping others with their questions at distance. Sousuke did not really look scared of children, though, he sort of eyed them in a way that made them take a step back. It did result in people speaking behind their backs, but Rin did not care. He finally had a friend.

And his friend seemed really cool and interesting, slowly opening to him. He just looked really sad.

It was by accident that Rin found out his grandma died, hearing teachers talking about Sousuke in class. He eavesdropped when he heard his friend’s name.

Rin did not tell Sousuke that he knows, instead made sure to cheer him up. It wasn’t easy, because Sousuke was pretending a lot. But Rin learned that you have to look at his eyes to find out if he was truly happy. They were so much brighter when he was. 

“Earth to Rin.” He felt Gou’s small hands tugging on his hair.

“What?”

“When you were floating away, we decided with Sousuke to get something to eat, what do you want?” She let go off him but still kept close.

He shrugged. “Whatever.”

Gou growled and lied down in the back, putting earphones in her ears. She closed her eyes and started singing to herself quietly. Rin shook his head.

“Everything okay?” Sousuke asked, eyeing him with worry.

Rin smiled at him. “Perfect.”

*

They stopped half way through to Tokyo for something to eat, and to let Sousuke rest a little. They did not waste time, though, and considering the traffic they quickly went back to the car.

When they finally arrived, it was around eleven. The white house had a lot of flowers all around it, and the lights were on downstairs.

“Gou,” Rin shook her lightly, forcing her to wake up. “We’re home.”

She murmured something but slowly stirred awake.

“Evening,” Sousuke turned to look at her, too, and smiled. “I will get your bags.” He unlocked the seatbelt and made his way out.

“Come on, sis.”

They stepped out of the car and helped Sousuke.

“Take yours, I will take this one…” Rin tried to slip one off Sousuke’s shoulder, but he stopped him.

“I’m not staying tonight, I have things to do,” he explained.

Rin looked at him with surprise.

“It’s late, where are you going?”

Sousuke waved his hand dismissively. “It’s nothing. I will be back soon. But I won’t bother your mom so late. I will stay at some hotel, or…”

“Oh definitely not!”

They jumped hearing a female voice.

“Mom!” Gou shouted and happily jumped in her arms. She hugged her tight, big smile on her face, pink long hair just like Gou’s.

“Kids, what are you doing here?” Not letting Gou out of her arms, she kissed the top of her head.

“Surprise!” Rin grinned and she quickly pulled him into a hug, too, ignoring the muffled protest.

Sousuke looked at them with happiness, glad he could do something for them. Closing the boot, he made his way to the front sit. He knew it’s rather disrespectful to not even say hello properly, but if their mother will catch him…

“And where are you going, young man?”

He stopped half way through and looked up to see her standing with her hands on her hips, eyebrows raised. God, she was like Rin, just in a female version.

You do not discuss with Rin when he stands like that.

“I really need to go,” he explained weakly.

“At eleven?”

“I really, really need to go.” He looked for help from Rin but of course he was standing there with a judging look too.

“When you’re going to be back?”

“Probably very late.”

“I will give you the keys, so come back here,” she offered.

“No, no, I won’t be trouble.” Sousuke shook his head and opened the door to his car. “I will be here in the morning, or, actually…” he corrected himself and pointed at Rin. “Text me when you’re going to be free tomorrow so maybe we can go somewhere, or something…” he spluttered a little, not wanting to be rude. Maybe Rin wanted to spend all his time with his family. Sousuke did not want to interrupt their time and now it sounded like he expected something. Great first impression…

“Sure!” Rin smiled. “I will text you when I wake up!” He said cheerfully, surprising Sousuke.

“At least come for breakfast.” He did notice Rin’s mom curious look at the two of them. Sousuke bit his lip in worry, remembering that he did not even ask Rin if he wants to go public any time soon. Did his mom know? What about Gou?

“I don’t know if…” Oh god, this was probably one of the most awkward conversations he ever had in his life. They were starring at him with some sort of expectations and he had no idea what to do. Is it polite to come? Are they just polite but in reality want him gone for the whole day? Or maybe…

“We eat at ten on Sundays,” she informed him and threw him keys which he caught surprised. “Just in case you’d come back sooner.” She smiled when he looked at the keys in his hand, little pink ribbon tying two together. “Come on then, I am sure you have a lot to tell me.” Their mom rushed Gou and Rin inside, but Rin quickly walked up to Sousuke to pull him into a hug.

“Be safe,” he whispered in his ear, arms around his neck.

Sousuke did not expect Rin to be so open in front of others. He did not really know how much emotions he was supposed to show in front of others, always taught to be careful with such things, as they could be used against him. His father was never too nice to him in public, it was another thing between closest friends or alone. Was he supposed to be open with Rin in front of everybody? Was he safer if people knew he was his boyfriend, he loved him, so he obviously would do everything to keep him safe, so they will fear him… or was doing that only putting Rin in more danger? It’s like no matter what he would do, he could not win. God he was confused.

Rin kissed his cheek when he did not say anything, and slipped his hands in his to squeeze them lightly. Sousuke nodded and smiled seeing his concerned look. It was probably killing Rin inside that he couldn’t ask what was going on.

“See you tomorrow.” Sousuke said to calm him down.

“I will call you.” Rin ensured him squeezing his hands again and let go, less worry on his face now.

Sousuke went inside his car, catching the questioning look Rin’s mom gave his son, a little smirk on her face. Rin stood straight and sure, waved to him with a wink and went inside.

*

Sousuke quickly drove to the garage where he was supposed to meet his father and leave his car.

“You’re late.” Takeshi was standing with Isao and Kisumi by the black Mercedes his father owned.

“I know.” Sousuke sighed and gave the keys to the man owning the garage, and before he could say anything, his father interrupted.

“I already told him what to do with the car.” Takeshi rushed him inside, sat himself behind the wheel and started the engine.

“What is going on anyway?” Sousuke asked. “Why was I supposed to come to Tokyo with Rin and Gou and leave them here?”

“Because everybody needs to know that you went to Tokyo with your little boyfriend and his sister. And they will, trust me.” Takeshi explained, focused on the road. “We’re officially in Tokyo, too.”

“So where are we going?”

“Back to Iwatobi.”

“What?” he asked confused. “What for?”

His father smiled wide and Sousuke swallowed hard seeing a dangerous spark in his eyes. Takeshi getting that excited over something always meant trouble one way or another. Isao shifted in his sit, not looking at them, Kisumi wasn’t saying anything either, both weirdly quiet since the beginning.

“To burn Nanase’s house down.”


	9. Game on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do not hate the player, nor the game… rule it!”  
> ― T.F. Hodge

Sousuke walked after his father, Kisumi and Isao following them, making their way to the airplane. His father’s private airplane.

Right, nothing like making their way to and back as fast as possible. Less chance for people to doubt they weren’t in Tokyo.

They sat together, his father stretching his legs out comfortably, creamy leather squeaking slightly under them. Takeshi was so excited that he did not even seem to be panicking over the fact that they will fly in a moment.

Ah, yes, Takeshi Yamazaki had his fears.

Sousuke would normally be more excited, too. God if he did not want to see Nanase’s house getting burned down. But he was trying to deal with something else.

It seemed his relationship with Rin would last a day. Cheers, dad.

“What’s up with you?” Takeshi looked at him, glass with whisky in his hand. Isao and Kisumi faced him too.

“Can’t we do this a bit later?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

“And why would I wait?” Smirking, he raised an eyebrow.

“I did not give my relationship with Rin much time, but it was more than a day.” Sousuke couldn’t stop a bit of sarcasm escaping his mouth.

“Oh, you think he will break up with you once he will find out that it was his precious boyfriend who burned down his little’s friend’s house?” Takeshi laughed, clearly not bothered. “Good, you will find yourself someone better.”

Sousuke bit his tongue.

“Well,” Takeshi added, seeing his face. “We had to check him sooner or later. At least you will know if he’s ready to become a part of this world.”

“You test him by burning his friend’s house down? He knows about us for not even two days and he’s with me for a day! That’s ridiculous!”

“Oh, son, it’s time to teach him how to live fast.” Takeshi cocked his head, the self-satisfied smirk making Sousuke’s blood boil. “I remind you that he had no issue leaving you just like that, within days.”

“That’s a bit different, isn’t?”

“Is it?”

Sousuke opened his mouth but did not say anything.

“Loyalty, son. Even more important in our case. Yes, we’re going to quickly test if he grew up to be loyal, or he’s gone.” Takeshi closed his eyes, breathing in the smell of whisky.

“He doesn’t even know about our fight with Nanase. I found out yesterday.” Sousuke reminded his father.

“And how quickly you took in the information and was ready to fight? See, it’s possible. If he really loves you, he will stay. If he will leave, you will know he was never worth your time,” he shrugged. “Better to find out sooner or later.”

“Do you remember that this boy did not grow up in this world?” Isao asked quietly. “He probably still did not absorb the information that his boyfriend belongs to mafia.”

“Of course he did not, he was more interested in making out with me,” said Sousuke.

Kisumi snorted. Sousuke covered his face in embarrassment.

“I am just saying that he lives in denial. He sort of wants to know, he sort of doesn’t. He knows the very basics but mainly ignores everything and lives in the fairytale world, happy we’re finally together.”

“Not surprising,” Isao sighed. “What did you people expect?”

“Better to throw the cold water on his head quickly then.” Takeshi said, sitting up straight. “He can’t live in a fairytale world. He needs to know how to protect himself and us. But we’re not going to teach him anything about us before he is going prove himself that it is safe to do so.”

“I don’t know what sort of reaction you expect from someone who just found out, who is with me for not even twenty-four hours, and who you test by burning down a house of a friend.” Sousuke looked out of the window, the skies underneath them.

“One that will positively surprise me.”

Takeshi was smirking, obviously knowing how a normal boy would react to such situation. Sousuke knew why he did not want him and Rin to be together. Rin lost the chance to gain his father’s trust five years ago when he left him to be with iwatobi guys. Sousuke did not even try to resonate with his father, explaining what it was all about. Rin left and his reasons to his father meant nothing.

Sousuke understood it, because if it were anyone else, he wouldn’t have given him a chance either. But it was Rin. He had so much trust in him anyway, it was probably sort of ridiculous, but he couldn’t help it. He loved him. As simple as that. But he would not expect anyone to react well to this, even the boy who looked at him with so much love in his eyes today.

The amount of times his father told him that a good heart is the reason many lose their lives…

He also told him that life is boring without taking risks. And, really, deciding out of nowhere to burn enemy’s house down was more of a risk than falling in love, eh?

Or maybe not.

*

Rin was half-laying on the sofa with his mom’s arm around him, Gou on her other side. She did not let go of them since they sat comfortably.

“So, since I’m up to date with your school life, now it’s time for love life.”

“Oh, God.” Rin covered his face in embarrassment.

“Ask Rin, I have nothing to tell, unlike him,” Gou giggled, sticking a finger in his side.

“Right, what was that lovely hug about, huh?” Their mom ruffled his hair with a little smirk.

“Nothing.”

“Well, I can’t blame you, Sousuke grew up to be a handsome boy, huh?”

“Mom, please.”

“Tall, dark hair, and still so polite…”

“Mom, I beg you…”

“And those muscles…”

“Mom, oh my god, that’s just creepy!” Rin escaped her arm to sit at the very end to stare at her from under his fringe.

“I needed to get you talking somehow,” she explained, trying not to laugh.

“Disgusting,” he hissed.

“I know you agree, so stop playing, and sit back here.” She waved for him and with an irritated growl he sat by her.

“So?”

“Yeah, we’re together, can we talk about something else now?” he crossed his arms.

“Since when?”

“Today!”

She made a little ‘aww’ noise and petted his hair more. “Remember to be a good boy back. And tell mom if he’s not going to be a good boy to you.”

“Sure, mom, I will tell you if he’s going to be mean.”

“Good,” she said happily, obviously not catching the sarcasm.

Christ, Rin thought.

*

“Everything prepared, boss.” A man with a hoodie low on his head walked up to them. They were standing by a car, a few houses away from Nanase’s. It was dark, the street was quiet, no one walking past. The wind was pleasant against their faces.

Takeshi grinned, his eyes shining when he was given a little square device.

They watched two black cars driving away and then he took a deep breath in, wide smile on his face.

“Why are we burning the house down without them inside?” Asked Sousuke, arms across his chest.

“Jesus,” whispered Kisumi.

“What?”

“That’s my son,” commented proudly Takeshi. “The reason is that we’re only starting to have fun with them. I don’t want them dead so quickly. I want to play a game.” He looked at the device in his hand, only one button in the middle. “Ready?”

Sousuke sighed and then nodded seeing his father’s harsh stare.

“Three…” Takeshi circled the button lightly with his finger, hands in black leather gloves. “Two…” A light press. “One.”

The gas exploded. Kisumi who was standing right by Sousuke jumped and covered his ears when the glass shattered all at once. The fire began eating the house from the inside quickly. The whistle like noise of plastic melting made shivers go down their spines. They watched in silence as the fire grew bigger and bigger, flames covering the building.

“Let the game begin,” Takeshi whispered, flames reflecting in his eyes.

He started laughing.

*

Sousuke sat by the shiny bar in the hotel and ordered himself a drink, ignoring the barman who eyed him without much enthusiasm.

Well, sorry I do not look like million dollars after I watched my father burning down a house, mate, Sousuke thought, starring at him without blinking until the guy turned away. He could have just waved the ring in his face and watch him jump around him till the end of the night, but he wasn’t in the mood for another circus.

Sousuke smiled, eyes tired, seeing Kisumi sliding into a sit next to him and getting himself the same thing.

“Don’t worry, maybe he won’t figure out that it was you.” Kisumi downed a shot of vodka.

“He will ask,” said quietly Sousuke. “Am I supposed to lie?”

“Yeah,” he replied without a blink.

“He’s not going to believe me.”

“You said he chose to live in denial.”

“I don’t think he will choose denial in such case. It’s getting too much. He will finally see what we’re capable of and freak out.”

“Well, he needs to finally. We all went through it.” Kisumi shrugged. “He needs to start getting used to this world if he wants to be with you.”

“We’ve been officially together for a day, Kisumi.”

“He knows you since he was twelve, though.”

Sousuke shook his head but did not say anything.

“Your father is really starting a war, huh?” Kisumi ordered them the whole bottle and tugged him into a quieter corner.

“He wants to make them go insane.” Sousuke rubbed at his eyes tiredly.

“Good start, he fucking terrified me.” Kisumi shook and poured the alcohol in their little glasses. “He always did, but fucking hell. Even my dad seems scared of him.”

“Your dad is frightened that he will lose him completely.”

“Are you?” he asked quietly, looking up at him.

“I don’t know the man your father does. I don’t know who he is looking for and who he is scared of completely losing.” Sousuke shrugged.

“Aren’t you scared he will get completely insane?”

“He already is,” he laughed. “He’s not going to change the way he is to us. I don’t believe that. I am just worried that in this insanity he will lose focus and…” Sousuke did not finish, turning his head away. “I only have him, Kisumi,” he added quietly.

*

Wearing comfortable pyjamas, Rin threw himself on the bed and quickly hid under the covers, hugging his pillow. He sighed seeing no message from Sousuke on his phone, thinking he should have told him to text him. He opened the application and started typing.

“Are you ok?”

Rin did not have to wait long for a text back, making him smile.

“Yeah, did you get properly questioned?”

“Of course, wait until my mom will flash a light in your eyes!”

“Oh God.”

“Where are you now?”

“Ritz.”

“Pffff.”

“Haha. We can sleep there tomorrow if you want.”

“My mom would kill me if I chose a hotel over her.”

“Tsk.”

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“I was, you woke me up.”

“SUREEEE.”

Rin bit his lip and typed again unsurely before Sousuke could reply; “Wish you were here.”

“Missing your personal pillow?”

Rin snorted.

“Only one night.” Sousuke added before he could answer.

“See you tomorrow xxx”

“Text me when to pick you up in the morning.”

“Sure!”

Come on, Rin whispered to himself. At least send a kiss back.

“Love you.”

Rin let an embarrassing squeak out. “Love you, too. Goodnight!”

He covered his face with a pillow, hiding his grin. 

*

Kisumi made a little ‘aww’ noise, making Sousuke slap him in the head.

“I need more alcohol,” murmured Sousuke, sighing at the empty bottle.

“It’s already damn late.” Kisumi looked at the silver watch on his left wrist. “So if you do not want to breathe alcohol in his mother’s face in the morning…”

Sousuke growled, sliding down the sit. “I am not going to fall asleep without at least one more drink.”

“Fair play.” Kisumi stood up and went to the bar.

*

Takeshi let smoke escape his mouth, breathing it out slowly. Laying on the grass in his garden he looked at the skies getting lighter with minutes passing by, relaxed smile on his face.

He saw Isao’s frightened eyes today. Isao, poor Isao, trying to make him drop the plan. He even tried to make him stop for Sousuke.

It was hilarious to see his jaw dropping when Sousuke asked why they are burning a house down without Nanases in them.

Isao would always love Sousuke like his own son so to see him going the same way Takeshi has decided to go had to hurt him a lot.

Takeshi was proud. He was so damn proud of Sousuke.

He was so sure that Sousuke would stand on his head to stop him from fulfilling his plan. He never made his son do anything, even watch anything close to that. He expected typical call for peace. 

But Sousuke was just scared that he’d lose his boyfriend. Apart from that watched everything without a blink surprised there wasn’t more to it.

Good boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are very appreciated :)


	10. Danger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Behind every great fortune there is a crime."
> 
> —Balzac

Sousuke opened his eyes with a growl, wincing when the sun cruelly shined in his eyes. His phone was ringing, making him cringe.

“Hello?” he asked, ready to fall back asleep.

“Morning.” He heard a laugh on the other side. “I will take it as you are not coming for breakfast.”

“Breakfast?” he asked unconsciously.

“It’s Rin. Do you remember? Your boyfriend. You gave me a lift home yesterday and then went to do something and I guess partied till late, since you’re so dead.”

“Oh. Oh. Ohhh!” Sousuke sat up quickly, hissing when he felt his head hurting like someone hit him hard.

“Yeah.” He heard a sight on the other side. “I see you partied well.”

“Wasn’t partying,” Sousuke said quietly, his brain pulsing. “Just drank a bit and went to sleep late.”

“You wouldn’t have a headache if you stayed,” murmured Rin.

Sousuke let a short laugh out, massaging the back of his neck. “Trust me, if I had a choice, I’d choose you over everything.”

Rin seemed stunned for a minute. “I am sure mom will make you breakfast, even if you’re going to be late,” he said quietly.

Sousuke smiled. “Don’t bother her, I will eat something quickly here. Do you have any plans for today?” he asked unsurely.

“Well, Nao clings to my leg since I woke up and asks about you, so I don’t think we will be alone today,” Rin laughed. “I think we should all go to the amusement park. The weather is nice!”

“Yeah. Yeah okay. I’m going to be there very soon. Just need to pick my car up.” He reminded himself, rubbing his eyes. God his head hurt.

“What happened to your car?” Rin sounded surprised.

“Nothing, they are improving, adding a few stuff to it, that’s all.”

“Oh, okay. I will see you soon then, yeah?”

“Sure. See you soon.”

“Love you.” Sousuke smiled, hearing a little unsure sound.

“Love you, too.”

When he ended the call, flashbacks of yesterday hit him, making him cringe. So it seemed Rin did not find out about anything yet.

He was glad, and he felt bad with it.

Maybe they can be happy for one more day.

Sousuke stood up and stumbled to the bathroom.

*

“Did he oversleep?”

Rin walked downstairs to see his mom cooking something in the kitchen. She looked at him, pointing the wooden spoon in his direction.

“Yeah, but he’s going to be here soon.” He sat on the chair in the kitchen.

“Hangover?”

“No,” Rin said quickly, too quickly. “I think he was doing something for his dad until late.” He wasn’t sure himself, but he did not really believe that Sousuke lied to not spend the night with him to party instead.

“Ah, his dad. Always trouble.” His mom sighed to herself, looking at the cookbook.

Oh if you only knew, thought Rin. Of course he did not say a word to his mom about who Yamazakis actually are. God, he could see her closing him in a tower as far away from Sousuke as possible if she’d ever find out. As much fond as she had for Sousuke, there was no way she would accept that.

They stayed like this for awhile, Rin sipping his warm drink, when he heard the low noise of a car. He stood up to look out of the window, and smiled seeing Sousuke getting out of it. He tried not to laugh seeing his eyes covered by aviators. Sousuke looked really stylish, compared to the simple clothes he wore at Samezuka. They were at Tokyo, people knew him better here, so he probably was required to look his best.

He walked out before Sousuke could knock and threw himself on his neck. Sousuke laughed, hugging him tight.

“Missed you,” murmured Rin, not letting go. “How many chewing gums have you eaten to not stink of alcohol, huh?” He faced him, breathing in the strong minty smell.

“Shhh,” Sousuke put a finger to his mouth. “Let’s not talk about it.” Seeing Rin’s face he quickly added. “My jaw hurts.”

Rin laughed, kissing the corner of his lips. “Come on, you have Nao to meet…”

“SOUSUKE!” He did not finish when a little boy ran up to them and hugged Sousuke’s leg once Rin moved out of his way.

“Oh, hello there,” Sousuke grinned, crouching to be at his level. The pink haired boy smiled wide and hugged him, his little hands around Sousuke’s neck.

Sousuke made a little ‘aww’ noise, putting his arms around him.

“I see you got accepted in family.” He looked up to see Rin’s mom, kind smile on her face.

“He did not even do anything.” Rin pointed at them, betrayal on his face. “I don’t get a hug if I do not bring three presents with myself!”

Sousuke laughed and stood up with the kid in his arms. “Goodness.” He looked at Rin and then Nao and then Rin again. “It’s like déjà vu.”

Rin’s mom laughed. “Come in, I will make you breakfast.”

“No, it’s ok.” Sousuke quickly stopped her. “I already ate.”

“Trust me even your hotel food can’t win against my scrambled eggs.” She waved for them to come inside. “You’re too skinny, I need to feed you.”

“I am not too skinny! I will take the scrambled eggs, though.” He grinned.

She smiled and went back to the kitchen, leaving Nao clinging to Sousuke, looking at him with interest, his pink hair standing in all possible directions.

“You did not really eat, did you?” Rin shook his head, seeing Sousuke sending him a cheerful smile.

They sat by the small light wooden table in the white kitchen, Nao on Sousuke’s knees. Sousuke took his sunglasses off, and Rin finally spotted how pale and tired he looked.

He faced him. “Should I put them back on?”

Rin laughed. “You sure you want to spend whole day in the amusement park? Maybe you want to stay and sleep in my room.”

Sousuke shook his head but quickly stopped, cringing. “No, of course not. I’m not that tired.”

“This is what you get for partying instead of staying home,” said Rin’s mom with her back to them.

“Wha… I did not party,” Sousuke said quickly. “Why did you say I partied, I told you I did not.” He looked back at Rin.

“I did not say anything!” Rin lifted his hands in defence.

“I am a nurse, Sousuke, I can spot a hangover person.” She turned to face him, eyebrow cocked.

Sousuke blushed. “I drank but I did not party.”

“You drank alone?”

“Mom!” Rin sighed. He already felt sorry for Sousuke.

“A few drinks with a friend, nothing else.”

“You are still young, you shouldn’t get yourself this ill.”

“Mom, can you leave him alone.” Rin made a face at her, begging her with his eyes. What the hell!

“You’re my son’s boyfriend now and I want to be ensured that he is safe with you.” She faced Sousuke who got even paler.

“I… I’d never drive drunk with Rin if that’s what you mean,” he stuttered.

“I mean that you overall should take good care of yourself and my son.” She smiled a little seeing his scared look, placing the plate with food in front of him. “Not get drunk until unconscious so he’d need to get you off the floor.”

“Mom, Christ, he just had a few drinks at the hotel where he slept!” Rin stood up.

“Stop interrupting me,” she said calmly. “I am only warning for the future. Eat, I will get Nao dressed and call Gou.” She took the kid in his arms and went upstairs, Nao waving to them.

Sousuke swallowed hard and looked at the food. If he felt sick thinking about eating earlier, now something flipped inside his stomach just looking at it.

“I am sorry for her, you know she’s overprotective,” Rin patted his thigh. “The amount of drunk people she had to take care of, plus the accidents they caused… and stuff… you know, she is really against drinking overall.”

Sousuke smiled weakly. It wasn’t even the issue. He understood her reaction; in her eyes he was only a seventeen years old boy who got himself wasted instead of staying with her son with who he just went out. But it wasn’t his fault that he was treated like he was way older than he was and had to act like it most of his life, so he forgot how to act like a teenager sometimes. No one looked weirdly at him drinking between his people, so he did not think how it would look in her eyes. He probably would not stop himself from drinking after that night, anyway.

It’s how she told him Rin’s safety is in his hands that made his hands shake. It was killing him inside to know that he put Rin in danger since they were so little. And even though Kisumi continued on telling him how he could not possibly know, and even if, what, he wanted to close himself in a tower so no one would ever meet him and put themselves in danger? Kisumi told him that Rin being with him made him safer than not. While it will make people talk, at the same time he became the boyfriend of Yakuza’s boss’s son and only people of the highest rank would dare to even think about touching him. Better than everybody trying to hurt him because he is his friend.

“I did not tell her anything, obviously.” Rin handed him a fork, seeing him starring not doing anything. “You okay?” He looked at him concerned.

“Yeah…” he smiled.

It was a weird feeling to be pushed away by the only woman who gave him so much warmth when he was receiving barely any. He felt stupid for feeling upset by it.

*

The atmosphere lightened up when they all started having fun at the amusement park. Nao was holding onto Sousuke all the time, wanting him to go to every ride with him, never mind whether it was for 3 year olds or eighteen. Sousuke laughed when Rin started pouting, not knowing about it. He loved when Rin showed his childish side. It wasn’t about feeling good when your boyfriend gets jealous over you, for a silly reason or not, it was about Rin reminding him how to be a bit of a brat sometimes. He couldn’t be one, but watching Rin being one made him feel better. He did not really get why. Maybe he was simply happy to see that Rin’s biggest problem was a little brother stealing his boyfriend’s attention.

Not seeking revenge for mother’s murder.

“Ah, it’s a shark!” Rin squealed excited pointing at plush toys to be won if the person playing would hit all of the cups at once.

Sousuke smiled, and then bit his lip. Rin sucked at throwing things in the right direction.

Rin bravely made his way to the little tent, paid the man and received three balls. He threw one. Nothing. He threw the second. Only three cups fell. He threw the third one. Nothing.

He growled in frustration, and as usual for him, stormed off.

Sousuke shook his head and smiled at Nao in his arms. “Should we get your brother a shark?”

The kid nodded quickly, smiling bright.

Sousuke paid the man and took the balls, letting Nao hold them so he’d have one free hand to throw. Rin just turned around noticing they did not follow him and looked at them with his hands on his hips.

Sousuke threw once and only half of the cups fell. He threw another ball, and they all fell. Nao squeaked happily and slapped his little hand against Sousuke’s in a high five.

“Which one would you like, sir?” The guy smiled at them.

“Can I have the grey shark, please?”

“No.” They jumped hearing Rin’s voice right behind them. He sneaked his arm around Sousuke’s middle. “That one by the shark, please. The whale shark.” He grinned seeing Sousuke smirking.

The man handed him the big plushie, blue with white spots whale shark.

Rin kissed Sousuke on the cheek. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

*

They were sitting at a restaurant, eating dinner, all together, when Rin’s mom noticed two guys watching them. They were dressed in expensive suits, and screamed danger to her from afar.

She was watching Sousuke for the whole day. She felt a little bad for jumping on him that much in the morning, but she was as concerned for him as much as for Rin.

She did not talk with Rin about it, happy that they are together, knowing her boy is on cloud nine, and because Sousuke was an angel and from what she got out from Rin, still was. But clearly remembering the boy who was traumatised, abused by his father to the point he was freaking out if someone tried to hug him… to see him leaving to do something for his father at ridiculously late hours and drinking himself unconscious… It made her simply worried for him, wondering if he had bigger problems or if it really was just a one-time thing. Traumas do not just go away, either. His father meant trouble, and the fact that it was obvious there’s something fishy about the family since she have met them, rumours about them belonging to mafia existing since she could remember… she was worried.

But she did not want to punish the kid who obviously has already been punished enough in his life by showing him the door because maybe his father does some shady business, and the pain filled eyes made her quickly snap her mouth shut. But she had to think about Rin, too…

Rin… starring at Sousuke like at a picture. He was so in love it was heart-warming to watch. She never saw him so open, this happy. He was laughing, smiling so wide for the whole day, eyes shining. He did not let go of the plushie Sousuke won for him since he got it. Sousuke was looking at him like at diamonds. Sousuke who moved to be by her boy’s side, even though it was Rin who left. He obviously cared for her boy, truly wanted him, was ready to do a lot for him… loved him, and this was most important to her.

She watched as the two men paid and made their way out. When she turned her head back to their table she noticed how kids were playing a board game with Nao, and that’s when she saw Sousuke side-eyeing those men. It was only a second, he quickly came back to playing with others, joking with them.

But she spotted the moment his eyes darkened.

Who Sousuke grew up to be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please at least leave a kudo if you are reading the fic :)


	11. Yamazaki mansion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”  
> ― Philip K. Dick

  
Rin wouldn’t have ever imagined that he’d find Sousuke getting frustrated so funny. There was a man driving like an ass right in front of them, stopping all the time without a reason, clearly raising Sousuke’s blood pressure. Rin could see how tight his hand held the wheel, the way he was taking deep breaths slowly in and out to calm himself down. If not the circumstances, Sousuke would already overtake the guy probably throwing a few insults along the way but he was trying to act like a responsible good driver in front of his mother and Rin had to turn his head away to not laugh.

It was sweet, really.

*

“I can’t believe mom let me stay over at yours, you can be persuasive when you want to.” Rin cocked an eyebrow, facing Sousuke who was driving, lips twisted in a smug smile.

“I think she just did not want me to get drunk again after I showed her what a responsible great man for her son I can be.”

Rin sighed. “You know she did not want to upset you. She treats you like her third son.”

“I guess.” He took a turn. “My father does not even blink when I drink, so I don’t really understand…”

“I think my mom is more of a… Normal parent.”

“I’d say overprotective.”

Rin bit his lip, head turned away. It was interesting to him, really. He was curious. To what extent Sousuke thought that his father was ‘normal’? A good parent? A bad one but he doesn’t care because now they found a better understanding of each other? Does he even remember being terrified of him, crying? And what exactly was good and bad to Sousuke? Did he think he was doing awful things but he did not care? Or he thought he was doing nothing wrong?

Which one of these was more terrifying?

"Nao wasn’t happy we didn’t stay." Rin smiled.

"He’s such an angel it’s unbelievable."

"Like me?" Rin batted his eyelashes.

"You were a little shit since I remember."

"Fuck you, too."

Sousuke laughed.

"I am not sure but wasn’t your house closer to mine?" Eyebrows furrowed, Rin looked around.

"We’ve moved to a bigger one awhile ago."

He blinked. “You mean the old one was too small for you and your father? I mean it’s not like it was like five of mine.” He noticed, sarcasm clear in his voice.

"I wanted a swimming pool. He wanted a house that we could secure well, and on the side. Besides, around the time you left he was at the top of hierarchy and that means everyone looks inside your pockets all the time. A boss without the best house in Tokyo would be a disgrace."

"Is it true you all live under certain code?"

Sousuke looked at him confused.

"I did online research on Yakuza." Rin grinned.

"Don’t research us online. It’s mainly bullshit and police making up shit to show us in a bad light."

"But you said they are mostly bought."

"Yes, but they need to say some bullshit once in awhile to show they are doing something."

Rin sighed.

"I think every family lives by certain codes." Sousuke shrugged. "We all prioritise some things over other."

"What about you?"

"Family. Loyalty. Power. Money." He recited like it was put in his head since he was little. "Basic things."

Rin gaped at him. “Power and money, huh?”

"Rin, if I were taught only love and family like you were, I’d be dead already. It isn’t that my father is cruel, he taught me things to survive. Look how much trouble you have comprehending all of this and you do not need to do anything. I need to live this life."

Rin did not respond, sitting quiet. Sousuke was right. He knew he was. How would Rin react if suddenly someone told him his father was a mafia boss and he needs to prepare for taking his place one day, doing god knows what? Sousuke was slowly pulled into the world so he did not face a shock. Not giving him love made it easier for him to accept the cruelty of the world.

But all Rin had on his mind was the little kid who was pretty much abandoned, yet expected to give his absolute best at al times, and told to separate from his only friend because he was showing him love. It was sick.

It seemed Sousuke did not see or remember any of those things and that scared him. How brainwashed was he exactly?

He noticed they were in a forest, an asphalt road showing them the way. When they finally faced a big gate, Rin whistled. Sousuke took a little pilot out of his pocket and clicked it. The wide and tall black gate slowly opened, showing them what’s inside as the stone wall going around the place without a hole in to take a pick, and electric wires at the top of it gave no chance. They were still driving for awhile in the forest after that, going up the hill. Rin was curiously bending forward, trying to see the house. There was another gate, this time more welcoming, but still hiding most of what’s inside. Rin noticed two cameras on each side facing them but he quickly turned his head towards the little computer screen in the middle of the car that lightened up with the picture of the house, a place to type a code on it. Sousuke quickly did and the gate started opening.

"Nice," Rin whispered, looking at the modern beautiful house. It was tall and wide, more than one floor level, massive windows letting the sun shine inside. They were on a hill so there weren’t many wild trees strictly around it. Short, green grass, pretty flowers and trees with leaves of different colours instead. He noticed a garage on their left, three cars wide.

"Acceptable?"

Rin faced Sousuke who was laughing at his open mouth.

"It will do," he answered like talking about the weather, and unlocked the seatbelt.

Sousuke parked the car in front of the entrance, double doors and another code, Rin noticed, and they walked in. He smiled to himself recognising a similar style. Yamazakis obviously liked the best and expensive but simple. Glass stairs, marble floors, leather sits, massive TV.

And as usual no family pictures.

Their homes were always beautiful but cold.

"Come on, I will show you the garden."

They walked out through glass doors that opened the whole back of the ground floor to the garden. There was a massive swimming pool in the back, making Rin clap his hands in excitement. What would he do for his own pool.

The garden was going far to the back, more grass and pretty trees on the side, covering the stonewall.

They were standing on marble by a garden table and chairs, big bbq on their right.

"God, it is beautiful here." Rin sighed, facing upwards to feel the sun on his face, birds singing. "It is like a little paradise. Why would you ever leave this place?"

Sousuke smiled. “I needed someone to share this paradise with.”

Rin grinned, cheeks a bit red and slipped his arms around Sousuke to hug him tight, making a little purring noise. Sousuke laughed and brought his arms around him, kissing the top of his head.

"Want to try the pool out?"

"Yes, sir!"

*

Rin felt like on the best holiday he ever was. He did not feel like still being in Japan. He felt like they were on a little island, away from everyone else, allowed to be happy and care about nothing.

They swam for awhile, the chilly water pleasant as it was so hot outside. Competing was fun, but kissing was definitely better, especially when Rin was losing. Seeing Sousuke laughing at his frustrated face when he lost for the third time with him, Rin jumped on his back. He did not even notice when Sousuke pulled him to face him and started kissing. Rin purred in happiness, eyes closed in pleasure making Sousuke grin.

Rin felt Sousuke’s hands slowly sliding down his back to finally cup his ass. Rin bit Sousuke’s lip, ignoring the shiver that went down his spine.

“What, we’ve been together for two days, can’t I touch the butt now?” Sousuke looked so unhappy that Rin giggled.

“Nope.” Seeing his face as he was pulling his hands away Rin quickly pulled them back on his butt, laughing. “Just joking, you muppet.” He pushed his fingers through Sousuke’s hair, feeling him leaving little kisses on his neck. Rin lifted Sousuke’s chin to let their lips meet again in a hungry kiss.

They kissed like this before, but their bodies touching, wet, without shirts, made it even more intimate. Rin could feel his cheeks getting red but his hands curiously explored Sousuke’s well built back, arms, chest and abs. He could feel Sousuke sitting him on the edge of the swimming pool, kisses going lower. Somehow being out of the water, not sharing the warmth with Sousuke anymore, made him snap out of the pleasure realising where this is going. Rin lightly pushed him away but kept his hands on his shoulders.

“Have I done something wrong?” Sousuke looked at him surprised, worry on his face.

“No.” Rin could feel his cheeks burning. “I just… I am just…” He spluttered, not knowing what to say. How do you subtly tell someone that you’re a virgin who only just had his first kiss, and now freaks out because he imagined himself a perfect scenario with Sousuke and their first time together, all ready and totally not nervous, while this is all so out of sudden he has no idea what do, how to act, he’s not ready…

“Hey.” Sousuke kissed his cheek. “It’s ok. Should we swim some more?”

“You’re not mad?”

Sousuke looked shocked. “Were you ever with someone who did get mad when you did not want it?”

“Wha… No!” Rin quickly calmed him down, seeing his eyes darkening. “I never… Oh God.” He hid his face in the palm of his hands.

“You’re a virgin.” He heard a simple statement.

“Oh my god, shush!” Rin looked around hoping no one heard Sousuke, forgetting they’re alone on some hill far away from the city centre.

“What are you so embarrassed about?” Sousuke laughed quietly with fond. “I definitely won’t complain.”

Rin splashed water at him. “Very funny.”

Sousuke pulled him towards himself again. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I am not going to do anything until you’re ready.” He kissed his cheek again, making Rin’s arms sneak around his shoulders again.

“I don’t want to fuck up.”

“There’s nothing to fuck up.”

Rin smiled seeing Sousuke’s warm smile. Sousuke winked to him, arms protectively around Rin.

“I love you,” Rin whispered and kissed him before he could respond.

*

“You know, I could get used to this life,” murmured Rin lying with his head on Sousuke’s chest.

They were relaxing in the living room, both slowly falling asleep but too lazy to move upstairs to the bedroom.

Sousuke laughed quietly, hand playing with Rin’s hair, lulling Rin to sleep. “I bet you would.”

“Mhm.”

*

When Rin opened his eyes again he noticed it was dark. He sighed to himself and stretched, comfortable even though he was lying on Sousuke. Rin smiled, hand supporting his chin to stare at Sousuke sleeping deep, arm thrown over his face, breath even. After placing a little kiss on Sousuke’s jaw, Rin slowly sat up rubbing his eyes.

He finally looked up.

And screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to every single person who leaves kudos and comments! This chapter is for you, guys!  
> I just wanted to remind that I also wrote a side-story to Invincible:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/2582285/chapters/5747642


	12. Dead Flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Life is for the living.  
> Death is for the dead.  
> Let life be like music.  
> And death a note unsaid.”  
> ― Langston Hughes

Sousuke jerked awake when Rin screamed. It was seconds. He looked towards his right, where a person stood right behind the glass wall. Sousuke saw him lifting a gun and quickly grabbed Rin to throw them on the floor.

Rin screamed when the glass shattered under the pressure of the bullets. Sousuke covered him with his body; hand over Rin’s eyes turning his head away. The sharp glass fell on them.

The moment there was a pause Sousuke grabbed Rin’s arm and pushed them towards the kitchen separated from the living room only by shiny black cabinets. Rin was shaking but luckily in such shock that going where Sousuke pushed him. He quickly hid them behind the cabinets and then opened one in the corner and slammed the red button on the floor. Rin watched terrified as heavy electric blinds started sliding down the windows while Sousuke quickly pulled out a gun. There was nothing but weapons and the red button inside the cabinet that Sousuke quickly closed.

Everything became silent and dark when the blinds hit the ground.

Rin tried to calm his breathing that he felt everybody could hear when Sousuke put a finger on his lips, telling him to be quiet. Rin did not even know he was crying, but Sousuke wiped his tears off without a rush and smiled apologetically.

Rin tensed when he heard someone slowly walking on the glass that was making crunchy noise under the person’s feet. Sousuke pushed him in the corner and sat by him, gun at the ready. 

Rin wasn’t so sure anymore about him never using one.

He was shivering frightened knowing the man is inside but they could not hear anything anymore. Sousuke was waiting but it was deathly quiet. Rin did not move, not wanting to disturb him, he just watched him breathing slowly, evenly, looking to his right. His left arm was dropped protectively over Rin’s knees, hoping it will make him feel a little better.

God, Rin thought. There is a man trying to kill them and Sousuke was sitting all calm and mostly worried if Rin isn’t scared too much.

Sousuke turned to face him and made a bored face.

‘Seriously?’ Rin mouthed in disbelief. Sousuke grinned at him.

They heard someone moving on the left. Sousuke stopped smiling and turned his body to the left, head facing upwards, and gun pointing in the direction of the noise. He pushed Rin right in front of himself, crouching on one knee, one hand on Rin’s shoulder backing him in the corner and holding still there.

“Watch my back,” whispered Sousuke.

Rin tensed, starring in shock at him, but Sousuke already focused on the other side. Rin tried not to blink, facing the opposite way, above Sousuke’s shoulder.

“SOUSUKE!” He shouted when a man showed up behind them suddenly, gun pointing at Sousuke’s back.

Sousuke looked at him in shock but when he tried to turn the man touched the back of Sousuke’s head with the gun. Sousuke slowly lifted his hands, Rin could see him quickly thinking, while he was panicking, breathing heavily, sitting frozen in place. He did not take his eyes off the gun, he wanted to push Sousuke out of the way but he was terrified that if he will move even a tiny bit then the man will shoot.

He wanted to cry.

“Well, wasn’t this easy.” The man sighed to himself, black mask covering his face. He seemed bored.

Sousuke finally looked at Rin, eyes sorry. Rin couldn’t get a word out of himself.

“Don’t look.” Sousuke whispered.

“No…”

Rin closed his eyes and screamed when the man shot. His hands covered his face; he was shaking and started feeling very ill.

God, this did not happen, this did not happen, God no…

“Rin!” Someone shook him and grabbed his wrists to pull his hands away from his face. Rin did not want to open his eyes but when someone shook him again he looked up to see no one else but Sousuke holding him and his father standing right behind him, hands at his side, gun in his right. The man who tried to kill Sousuke was lying on the floor, not moving, eyes open. The blood was oozing from his shot head quickly, dirtying the floor.

“Rin?”

Rin stood up quickly feeling everything turning in his stomach and bend over the sink to vomit. He felt Sousuke’s arm holding him up, the other hand brushing his hair back. When he finished Sousuke quickly turned the water on to let him flush his mouth out. He spitted the water out, shivering.

“I thought…”

“I know,” Sousuke said in a soothing voice. “Shh. Don’t think about it. I will take you away from here, don’t look, okay?”

“You two are not going anywhere,” Takeshi said harshly. “We don’t know if he was the only one sent to murder you…”

Rin shivered.

“He can’t stay here!”

“Take him upstairs if he’s so fucking fragile, but don’t you dare to leave the house. I won’t risk your life because your boyfriend faints at the sight of blood!”

Rin felt empty, eyes burning. He clenched his teeth together, not wanting to let the tears show. He wasn’t fragile. He wasn’t pathetic!

“Rin thought they shot me in the head right in front of his face, you know very fucking well that this isn’t about blood!” Sousuke shouted.

“Don’t you dare to shout at me! I said get him upstairs, but don’t you dare to leave the house!”

Sousuke hissed but Rin felt him tugging him and they walked away. He did not dare to open his eyes and look in Takeshi’s face, he only opened them when his leg hit the stairs.

When Sousuke helped him sit on the bed and crouched in front of him, face worried, Rin brought his hands up to touch Sousuke’s face and started crying.

“Rin…”

“I thought he killed you.” Rin choked on his words, clinging to Sousuke when he sat by him and hugged. “I thought it was you. I did not see your dad. I thought he shot you.” His words were mumbled, face pressed to Sousuke’s neck. His hand was still on his cheek, thumb stroking it lightly, feeling the warmth of it. It was so close… If Sousuke’s father were just a second late…

“Shh.” Sousuke hugged him even tighter. “I am so sorry. So, so sorry.”

They were quiet for awhile, arms around each other. Rin’s mind went blank. He did not know what to think. He did not want to think in the first place.

He was holding Sousuke desperately tight.

“Sousuke.”

Rin cringed when he heard Takeshi’s voice.

“What?” Sousuke straightened up but did not let go off Rin.

“Come on, we have to talk. Akira will stay with Rin.”

Rin looked up and saw a young blonde guy, grinning at them. He had a cap on his head and a sport outfit. Rin eyed his massive gold necklace.

“Cool, eh?” He patted it proudly, seeing Rin’s look.

“Rin, this is Akira. Akira, this is Rin.” Sousuke introduced them with a tired sigh. “Akira thinks he’s black.” He rolled his eyes.

“Ohohoho don’t be so clever.” Akira waved his finger. “I’m supposed to take care of your pretty little boyfriend, be nice.”

Sousuke ignored him. “Are you going to be okay? I will be back in a second.” He asked Rin, face worried.

“Sousuke,” Takeshi hissed.

“Sure, go.” Rin smiled. Of course he did not want him to go, but he did not want Sousuke to be in trouble either.

Sousuke bent to kiss his cheek and whisper in his ear. “He’s a cool guy, don’t worry.” He stood up and faced Akira. “Touch him and I will break your neck.” Akira lifted his hands up in defence but Takeshi pulled Sousuke out by his arm, shaking his head.

“So.” Akira jumped on the bed opposite to Rin and smiled wide at him. “You’re Rin.”

“And you’re Akira.” Rin responded, feeling drained and not really in the mood for talking.

“Cheer up.” He shook his hand. “They searched the man and found out who it was, so they just need to talk about it now. No worries.”

“Who was it?” Rin asked, knowing a name probably won’t tell him anything anyway.

“Florist’s guy.”

Rin blinked. Akira smiled politely.

“Did Sousuke tell you anything? How long you’ve been together?”

“Actually together? Two days.”

Akira gaped at him and then laughed. “Holy shit, you got a nice start then, eh? How long you know each other then, because it seems junior treats you pretty seriously which… doesn’t really make sense.” He looked confused.

“Junior?” Rin laughed quietly. “Since we were six. I left six years later and we reunited a few good weeks ago.”

“Ah, that makes more sense, now.” Akira nodded to himself. “Yeah.” He looked at Rin. “He’s such a copy of his father we just call him junior. Awhile ago he was just a ‘brat’ because it was pissing him off but we stopped calling him that since he learned how to shoot.” Akira laughed.

“Is he?”

“Copy of his father? Yeah, totally.” Akira lied down and looked at the ceiling, arms under his head. “It’s good. His father gets shit done. Sousuke is not going to get lost in this world.”

“He’s a bit scary.” Rin wasn’t exactly sure if he should speak to Akira so freely about Takeshi. He could always tell the man. But Rin was too tired to care and Akira seemed to be fine with spilling a few secrets.

Akira smiled and patted his knee. “You will get used to him. He doesn’t trust you, but once you’re going to prove yourself worth his son then he will let it go.”

“Prove myself?”

Akira turned on his side and supported his head with his hand. He starred at Rin for a few moments and finally asked. “Kid, do you even know what you got yourself into?”

Rin really wasn’t so sure anymore.

*

“It doesn’t sound like him at all.”

Isao sat opposite Sousuke. Takeshi was walking from one side to another, thinking.

“Dad, can you sit down, you’re giving me a headache.” Sousuke pressed his hands to his eyes, his view doubling. He felt sick.

Takeshi ignored him.

“Are you okay?” Isao looked at him worried. “He did not hurt you, did he?”

“I’m fine.” Sousuke slid down the sofa to sit more comfortably. He closed his eyes.

“The killer looked pretty young, maybe he just wanted to prove himself to him by killing your son?” A tall man standing by the TV asked.

“Someone young wouldn’t get past the security so easily.” Takeshi shook his head.

“No one with a brain would attack one of you at your own house.” Another man said.

“So it was an exceptionally clever young person that was actually stupid?” Sousuke laughed, but quickly stopped, cringing. The headache was killing him.

“No.” Takeshi sat down. “It was a stupid guy that was controlled by Florist.”

“But you said it doesn’t sound like him.” Isao looked at him confused.

“Because he did not send that guy to kill Sousuke. The guy thought he was here to kill him. But Florist knew that either Sousuke will kill him first or we will be faster than him.”

“So, it was just a warning.” Sousuke yawned and slid down the sit even more.

Takeshi nodded and finally looked at him properly.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“Mhm.”

Takeshi exchanged a look with Isao.

“Come on.” Takeshi stood up and brushed Sousuke’s hair back with his hand. “I’m going to take you and Rin to the hotel so you can get some sleep. You look like a walking dead.”

“Mhm.”

Takeshi slapped his shoulder, making him snap out of sleep and he stretched with an apologetic smile.

“I’m going, I’m going…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments <333
> 
> As a Christmas present I began writing a new multi-chaptered fic called "Let it snow"  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/2786054/chapters/6252824


	13. Father and Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No love is greater than that of a father for His son.”  
> ― Dan Brown

Sousuke knocked on the door and walked in to see Rin and Akira on the bed. He sent Akira a dark look so he quickly got off it, making Rin snort.

“Come on, we’re getting out of here.” Sousuke said quietly, just wanting to sit in the car and fall asleep already. He was exhausted.

Rin stood up, smiling unsurely. Sousuke could feel there was something wrong, but he did not want to ask him in front of everyone. They all walked downstairs.

“Boss, do you want to do a little distraction?” Akira asked, walking by Takeshi.

“No, I don’t think there’s going to be any need.” Takeshi sighed. “I’m going to take Rin, Sousuke, and Isao. You all just secure us.”

“Yes, sir.”

“What about my car?” asked Sousuke.

“Oh, right.” Takeshi rubbed his face tiredly. “Akira, do you mind?”

He shook his head and took keys from Sousuke who smirked.

“Working hard for the ‘fearless’ ring, huh?”

“Aye, captain!” He winked to him. “Also, I always wanted a Mustang.”

They walked outside and Rin made big eyes at the massive and smaller black cars standing in front of the house. He quickly realised that bodyguards were using the big ones and probably arrived to not only keep them safe but the house once they will leave. But there were also three more men who did not look like bodyguards but Takeshi’s acquaintances.

Takeshi and Isao went to them and started talking about the Florist which pretty much confirmed his assumption. One man was dressed in a grey suit and what was most eye-catching was the big cross on his chest. He was slim and tall. The other one was a little smaller and bigger, and Rin swallowed hard seeing the deep cuts on both of his cheeks. He did not look kind. The third one had eye catching gold glasses on, looking most relaxed out of all of them, smoothing out his also gold jacket. Ok, Rin though. The priest, the murderer, and the one loving expensive shit.

He wondered how much blood they all had on their hands.

Rin turned to look at Sousuke who sat on the stairs in front of the house, hiding his face in his hands. “Are you okay?”

He nodded, but did not reply. When Rin sat by him he lifted his head, and sighed. “They’re my father’s best friends. Or, well. Isao is my father’s best friend, they are his best friends slash employers.”

“They look creepy.”

Sousuke smiled. “The one with the cross is called Nobu. He’s very religious. No one is sure what he believes in, though.” Sousuke made a face. “He’s kind of… He’s the one responsible for shady business.”

“Aren’t all your business’ shady?”

He laughed. “Well I divide it between shady and dirty. He does shady, in other words banks and politics. Money and contacts. The one with scars does dirty. His name is Iwao.”

“Killing?”

“Brothels. Prostitutes. Human trafficking.”

“Right…” Rin swallowed hard.

“Golden boy, his name is Kin, does drugs and money laundering.”

“Isao?”

“Isao is my dad’s right hand. Theoretically Shiginos were always THE bodyguards. The one always standing behind Yamazakis ready to be their shield. But my dad sort of screwed up the tradition. He still is the man, but he is treated as dad’s equal, not just a shield.”

“Goodness.” Rin whispered to himself.

“You know that there are more people that want us dead than alive, don’t you.”

Rin turned to look at his pale face. “I did not want to think about it, but thanks for telling.”

Sousuke smiled tiredly. “I think keeping you in the dark wasn’t the best idea.”

“It was my idea, so don’t blame yourself.”

“You’re taking it way better than I expected anyway.”

“I am still in shock. The fact that you are not freaking out after what happened makes me even more so.”

Sousuke shrugged. “Not the first time I had a gun pointed at me.”

Rin looked surprised. “You’re only seventeen. And even if… how can you get used to that? You thought he was going to…”

“It’s about manipulating your mind into thinking ‘well he did not shoot so no problem’ instead of ‘oh my god what if he had shot’.”

“Glass half empty or half full, eh?” He tried to laugh but it came out as a weird noise out of his mouth.

“Something like that.” Sousuke smiled, rubbing his arms. It was getting chilly.

Rin looked down at his hands, he opened his mouth to say something but at the same time Takeshi shouted for them to come over.

“Is that the new Range?” Sousuke murmured, eyeing the car they were showed to go to.

“Yeah, got it today.” Takeshi opened the door and took the place behind the wheel. Isao sat by him and they climbed up to sit in the back.

Rin watched the gate closing after them. The big cars were behind and in front of them. Akira was right behind them blasting hip-hop and dancing on his sit in Sousuke’s car.

“Told you.” Sousuke slid down the sit, shaking his head.

Rin bent his fingers, trying to gather courage. “Sousuke…”

“Hmm?”

“Could you take me home?” he whispered.

Sousuke gaped at him for a moment.

“Only this night, I just… I just need… time…” Rin looked at him, hoping Sousuke will understand.

“Of course,” Sousuke said quietly, and looked at his dad. “Take him home first, dad, please.”

Takeshi only nodded but Rin could see his burning look in the mirror. Isao without a word called others that there was a change of plans and gave them the name of the street.

*

They drove up to the house in silence. When Rin saw Sousuke moving he put a hand on his shoulder to tell him that it’s okay, there is no need to walk him to the door. He did not want to risk his safety.

A bodyguard opened the door for him before he could. With a quick “thank you” he walked out, not looking back. He knocked and the second the door opened, the cars drove away, one after another. The neighbours will definitely have a lot to gossip about.

“Rin?! What are you doing here?! What is it about all those cars?!”

He burst out crying in her arms seconds after.

*

Takeshi looked up to see Sousuke in the reflection of the mirror. Sousuke turned on his side, facing the door, and closed his eyes, arms around himself.

“I hope he is wise enough to keep his mouth shut?”

“Takeshi,” Isao scolded him.

“Shut up, Isao. This kid saw too much already. I am asking if I need to get rid of him before he will cause us trouble,” he asked, voice harsh.

Sousuke did not say anything, curling up.

“That kid found out a few days ago about our world. He already witnessed Sousuke nearly get shot in his head right in front of his face. You’re surprised he ran to his mom?” Isao asked.

“What is he, five?!”

“No, he is a normal seventeen years old boy!”

“He did not even find out about Nanase yet.” Sousuke spoke in an empty voice. “He won’t come back, but I will ensure he won’t tell. Don’t hurt him.” They looked startled at Sousuke who did not move from his position. Takeshi focused on the road but Isao turned to him.

“Give him some time, he did say it’s only for this night.” He smiled, reaching to pat his leg a little.

“Sure.”

“Told you,” Takeshi mouthed to Isao, pissed off. Isao mouthed a ‘shut up’ back and turned away from him.

*

They parked underground and took the lift upstairs to the hotel. Takeshi quickly received a big room suite for them and they ended up on the absolute top. Without saying anything Sousuke made his way to the room on the right and threw himself on the bed.

“Shoes off!” Takeshi said but Sousuke did not move.

“Talk to him,” Isao said quietly, pushing him towards the room.

Takeshi groaned but went. He sighed when he heard the door shutting after Isao, leaving him alone with Sousuke, and he looked at Sousuke lying in the middle of the bed, curled up.

“I said shoes off,” he sighed and seeing no reaction bent to take them off Sousuke’s feet. He finally lied down by him on his side and tugged him closer. “Come on, kid, talk to me.”

Sousuke did not react so Takeshi tugged at his hair and then smoothed them back seeing him scrunching his nose up.

“No one is worth your tears, you know that right?” he asked, petting his hair. “Especially not someone who put your hopes up and the second something happened ran like a coward,” he sighed. “Son, you’ve only been with him for a few days. It’s nothing.”

“It’s not few days. I’ve waited for years. We spent childhood together…”

“Which makes it worse because it shows he’s not half as attached to you as you are to him. I remind you it was you who had to find him because he did not even look for you after he came back.”

“He told me he was scared to face me after he screwed up so much. He was sorry.”

Takeshi sighed. “He’s weak, Sousuke. Look how much I put you through, how much you went through since the beginning to be able to survive, to live this life. Years of hard work. Years of tears, pain, of being upset, of fighting, learning… He was brought up as a normal boy whose biggest problem is school-work… He won’t ever be fit to be one of us.”

Sousuke slowly turned around to face him. “But he does not need to be one of us. I thought I wouldn’t even need to tell him much…”

“Kid… How did you even imagine that to work? He has to know. He needs to understand and accept this life if he wants to be a part of it. He does not need to work, your mother did not either. But she knew about all the dangers. She knew how to keep herself safe. I could count on her, too.”

“I don’t think he will accept it,” he whispered, voice broken.

“You are only seventeen years old.” Takeshi said quietly, hand on his cheek. “You did not even live yet. You have so much more to see, people to meet. One day you will meet someone who will make you happy and stand on your side, not run away at every opportunity. Once again he could only think about himself and his needs. He watched you being nearly shot and left.”

“He was scared.”

“And what about you? Why it wasn’t common sense to him that he should be by your side right now?”

Sousuke did not answer, quickly wiping the tears off his face. He hated himself for crying.

“I can understand a lot, Sousuke. But nothing changes the fact that he thinks about himself first every single time, no matter what. He kicked you once because he ran after some piss babies. He kicked you again and that time completely cut contact with you. He came back and still did not contact you. Ok, he gave you some lame excuses. But now when he had a chance to prove himself he ran again.”

Takeshi played with his hair again. “I want you to be happy with someone who is worth you. Someone who won’t put you in trouble. Someone who will fight for you, do you understand? If Rin wants to be with you then he needs to make sacrifices. He needs to prove himself. He needs to fight. It can’t be only you standing on your head. He needs to see you tomorrow and tell you that he wants to learn; you need to tell him who you are without hiding anything and he needs to accept it. It’s you over his friends, without a question. You should not be scared that he’d break with you because of what I did to his friend’s house. He should keep his mouth shut and stay by your side. No matter what.”

“He won’t do that,” he whispered.

“Then he was never worth your time. You are risking too much letting him act like this is about nothing significant. This is about your life.”

“Did mom just accept everything?” Sousuke asked when Takeshi wiped his tears off his cheeks with his thumb.

“It took me awhile to get your mom to date me.” He smiled, surprising Sousuke that he actually responded to that question. “But we did not know each other at all, so the situation was different. She straight off asked me if I belong to mafia on our first date. I told her yes, expecting her to leave. But she did not. We went on dates, fallen in love. She told me she won’t ever work for us, but our secrets are her secrets and I need to teach her self-defence because she’s not going to depend on me. Your mother was stronger than everyone else. She loved more than anyone, she wasn’t capable of being cruel, but she was capable of doing everything for her loved ones. She was never a coward and we were her priority. As it should be.”

“I am sorry she’s not here.” Sousuke said suddenly, eyes casted down.

Takeshi stopped petting his hair, surprised. “What are you sorry for?”

“If not me she would still be alive. It’s my fau…” he croaked out.

“Don’t even finish that,” Takeshi interrupted, angry. “Don’t you even dare.”

“But it’s true, if she did not waste time on saving me… I wish they have killed me, then you could have another, better son, and…”

Sousuke did not finish when Takeshi grabbed his hair making him cry out.

“Now look me straight in the eyes.” He hissed, and Sousuke blinked back tears. “Nanase killed your mother. He’d kill her whether you were there or not. It is his fault first and foremost. If you want another to blame then blame me for leaving you and your mom because if I did not leave then, then I’d be there to kill that bastard before he’d lift his hand. But don’t you ever, ever…”

“Dad…”

Takeshi let go off him and stood up. “Go to sleep, I won’t wait for you in the morning.” He walked out, door shutting loudly after him.

“I am sorry,” Sousuke whispered in the direction he went, curling up as sobs shook his body.

*

Takeshi slid down the door, breathing heavily.


	14. A new beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “All roads out of hell lead home.”  
> ― Shannon L. Alder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to EverDarkDreamer who always takes her time to leave a comment xxx Thank you <3

Takeshi lay down on the bed, ignoring Isao who was sitting on it, watching TV. Or pretending to watch it, who knew.

“What happened?” Isao asked, lying down by him, facing his back.

“He’s being a pathetic cry baby over a guy who he was with for two days.”

Isao rolled his eyes and sat up to take the pillow and hit him with it.

“Seriously? What are you, twelve?!” Takeshi sat up and faced him, angry.

“Maybe it would do you some good to act twelve sometimes, you old fart.”

Takeshi’s jaw dropped. “Excuse me, asshole, I am only thirty five!…”

“Thirty six. Look,” Isao sighed, seeing his insulted face. “I understand that you’re a very mature man now, but when you were seventeen you were sobbing in my arm because Umiko kicked you in the ass after you were being a jerk to her. It wasn’t that long ago, and I’m glad you’re a smartass now, but you know very well how heart broken this boy is. To us it’s nothing, to him it’s the end of the world. It’s his first love and he’s only seventeen. You don’t need to be a jerk to him.”

Takeshi lay down back and starred at the ceiling. “I am not pissed that he started crying, even though I am surprised. I did not see him crying for years.”

“Can’t you see how down he is lately?” Isao raised his eyebrows. “Since the whole massacre concerning Yori he looks awful. Rin cheered him up a bit, but he’s not okay. No surprise he broke when Rin left him. I don’t think he would normally, it’s just this was one thing too much.”

“He apologised for being alive.” Takeshi whispered.

“What?” Isao looked shocked at him. “What the hell do you mean?”

“I was telling him about Umiko and me. Just a normal conversation. I wanted to make him feel better and aware that Rin has to change.” He spotted Isao narrowing his eyes so he quickly added. “I did not say anything awful. Was just being honest. And nice!”

“Yeah, right.”

Takeshi rolled his eyes. “He told me that he wishes Nanase had killed him. He literally told me that if not him then Umiko would be alive and then we would be happy and could have another ‘better’ son and I just…” He tugged at his hair, shaking his head. “Why would he think that…?”

Isao did not say anything back. Now he started to worry. He could see Sousuke was down lately, but did not think it was anything too serious. Losing his sister obviously had taken a toll on him, but he was acting pretty normally. What put Isao off was his reaction to the man nearly shooting him. Or rather, lack of reaction.

He knew the child was raised in a way that would not have him crying in Takeshi’s arms after someone pointed a gun at him, but the ease with which he treated the situation scared Isao. And hearing that now he even apologised for being alive…

All the bad things that happened recently could make him break down and cry, but not say that. There was something wrong.

“What are you thinking?” He heard Takeshi’s question.

“We need to watch over him,” Isao murmured.

Takeshi looked at him without saying anything. But he knew what Isao was suggesting. And it frightened him.

*

“Sit down and tell me what happened. Did Sousuke hurt you?” Rin’s mother quickly pushed him towards the sofa and brought his arms around him again once they sat.

“No.” He sniffed. “He did nothing wrong.”

“Why are you crying then?”

Rin shook his head. He felt stupid for crying because now he needed to come up with some excuse since he couldn’t tell what actually happened. But what was he supposed to tell?

“Did you hear about the fire?” she asked concerned. “Don’t worry, sweet, Haru and his dad are fine.”

“What?” Rin lifted his head to look at her in surprise. “What fire?”

“You did not hear?”

“Did not hear what?”

“Yesterday night some people put their house on fire. There wasn’t anyone inside since Haru was at his grandmas and his father was working…”

Rin pulled away, shocked.

“What people?”

“Yakuza, most likely.” She shrugged.

Rin could feel himself getting pale. No. No way… If Sousuke were planning anything with his father then he would not leave to Tokyo with him on the same day. But he DID leave him. He went somewhere for a few good hours. But there was no way he could possibly go back there, it would take too many hours.

“Rin? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just… surprised.” He did not look in her eyes.

“Do you know anything about it?” She asked.

“What?” he laughed awkwardly. “Why would I know anything?”

“There are rumours about Sousuke’s family…” she said quietly.

“I don’t know anything,” he murmured, quickly cutting her off. “I will go to sleep now, I’m tired.”

“You’re not going to tell me what happened?”

“His father needed him suddenly so he did not want me to stay alone at home. You know how I am, got really upset and cried like an idiot.” He laughed dismissively and stood up. “Night, mom.”

“Night…”

*

Rin could not fall asleep. It made no sense to him. There seriously was no way Sousuke could go back to Iwatobi. No way. And if his father was planning to burn down Haru’s father house then he’d tell Sousuke to stay, right? But he told him to leave.

Unless he told him to go away in case he’d want to stop his father.

Did Sousuke even know about what happened? Maybe his father made him leave and did not tell anything? Maybe his father did not do it?

What if he knew but did not tell him?

Would Sousuke be capable of burning down someone’s house?

He finally sat up in his bed and took his phone from under his pillow. He called Sousuke, taking a deep breath in and slowly letting it out.

“Yes?” He heard a quiet voice.

“It’s me, Rin.”

Quiet laugh. “I know.”

“Sousuke…”

“Hm?”

Rin took a deep breath in again.

“Did your dad burn down Haru’s house?”

Silence.

“Yes.”

Rin swallowed hard. “And you did not tell me.”

“No.”

He lay down, closing his eyes. “Why?”

“Why he burned it or why I did not tell you?”

“Both.”

“Okay.” There was a bit of shuffling, Rin realised Sousuke had to sit down in the bed. “I did not tell you because I was ensured you will kick me in the ass the second you will hear about it so I selfishly kept you with me as long as possible, knowing I will lose you soon.” He sounded so disheartened Rin realised he already acted like Rin did. “Why he did it? Because Nanase murdered my mother so my father wants him to suffer and finally die.”

“What?” Rin gasped in shock.

“Yeah. Your friend’s father killed my mom. But he’s a policeman so he got away with it.”

“But… why… was she one of you…?”

“Are you trying to find an excuse for the death of my mother?”

“What, no!” Rin sat up quickly. “Sousuke, that’s not what I’m trying to do, I just…”

“Look,” Sousuke interrupted quietly. “I do not care why. She could have as well attacked him and he only saved himself. I still want him dead. I want him dead as much as my father does.”

“Don’t say that,” Rin whispered. “This is not you.”

“You don’t know anything about me.” Sousuke said, making his chin shake trying to stop the tears. “Rin, we… This is not going to work.”

“What are you talking about?” Rin had issues trying to keep his voice calm and quiet. “Is it because I left? I am sorry, I just needed to get away after this, it scared me so much I…”

“I just think it’s better for you.”

“It’s not your choice to make!”

“Rin, listen…”

“No! I want to be with you! I’ve waited so long to be with you…”

“You cannot even imagine what it will take…”

“I don’t care!”

Sousuke was quiet, gathering his thoughts.

“What about Nanase?”

“What about him?”

“I was hundred percent sure that you will kick me…”

“I love you.” Rin closed his eyes. “I love you so much, I don’t… I don’t approve, I don’t even know how I will look in his face, but I don’t… I still want to be with you. I love you.”

Sousuke was silent for so long, probably in shock, that Rin finally laughed quietly.

“See, maybe it’s not the best idea to act like you know how I will react to everything.”

“You know you will need to change.” Sousuke whispered. “People will look at your every move. Everybody will know you belong to us. You will need to learn how to fight. How to protect yourself. People will want to hurt you. People will want to kill you. YOU will need to learn how to kill.”

“I know.” Rin hugged himself, lying on his side, the phone pressed to his cheek. “I know, Sousuke.”

He knew it was surprising to Sousuke to hear all of this. Especially since Rin also just heard about what happened to Haru and his father. Maybe if not what happened today he’d leave, try to be without Sousuke, lie to himself that he does not need him, that he is not worth it. But when for a few seconds he thought that he lost him he realised how there was no point in even trying to live in denial. He knew that being with Sousuke meant stepping into the world he knew absolutely nothing about. He knew there would be tears, pain, and horrific situations. He knew he would have to change, learn things he’d never imagined on trying. He knew people would know where he belongs and they would fear it as much as hate him for it.

He will probably lose friends. Maybe he will be killed.

For a few seconds he thought about talking to his mother, when she asked. He realised there was no point. She would not understand. Of course she would tell him to stay as far away from Sousuke as possible. As every mother would.

She’d probably call police.

Maybe he was stupid for deciding for this life. He was seventeen. He was young and had so many years before himself, so many people to meet. Maybe he would fall in love with someone else. Wasn’t unfair to look for someone to forget about the one who you truly love, though? Be with someone who you’d never really love?

A wise person would probably choose to run. His friends were falling in and out of love so quickly and they faced no consequences, it was just part of their life. Deciding to be with Sousuke equalled to signing a contract that would completely change his life. Actually, contract wasn’t even the right word. Contracts can get broken, even if you have to pay a price. Money.

This wasn’t about money, but his life. 

Maybe he will regret his decision. But he was ready to take it.

He was a crybaby but he wasn’t weak. He wasn’t pathetic as people tried to make him out to be. He wasn’t confused, he knew what he was feeling. He was a small child when he decided to leave his best friend to pursue his father’s dream. He was only a little older when he decided to leave everybody and go to another country and live there, swim with people he could not understand, all to accomplish his father’s dream. He broke up but he did not hate himself for it. He wanted to do too much at once, too young. He always had guts.

His experiences taught him a little and even though every single person who he could ask would tell him that he knows nothing and he is making a mistake that he will very regret…

Rin just loved Sousuke.

That’s how simple it was.

He would not be the first person needing to change his life hundred eighty degrees because his love turned out to belong to mafia. He will prove to everybody that he can do it.

And be happy.

The way Sousuke looked at him, knowing he was going to get killed… Something in Rin snapped. The emptiness he felt thinking that he lost Sousuke… that Sousuke wouldn’t ever look at him again, smile at him… Rin would never see the little adorable dimples in his cheeks… He wouldn’t hear his warm laugh… He wouldn’t see his eyes darkening, kissing him, as his strong hands touched his body. He wouldn’t race with or against him, see him working hard, winning medals with him. He wouldn’t see the passion and hard work he adored and saw in no one else…

Rin wouldn’t play with Sousuke’s hair anymore, wouldn’t hug him, feel his warm body. He wouldn’t see the way his nose scrunched up when he tickled him, had him pull his jacket over Rin so he wouldn’t be cold because Sousuke is so sweetly over protective.

He’d come back to an empty room in Samezuka.

“Rin?”

“I’m here,” he whispered, swallowing back tears. “I was just thinking about today.”

“I am sorry you had to see it.”

“’Sorry I had to see it’,” Rin laughed quietly. “Yeah you better be fucking sorry for nearly dying in front of me, alright.” He choked.

Sousuke laughed. “I will do better next time, I promise.”

“Next time?”

“It might happen, soon even.”

“Right. I won’t uselessly freeze next time, you know?” He wiped the tears off his face.

“It wasn’t useless. If you’d move then you’d make him shoot and then my father would be too late.”

Rin cringed.

“That’s one of the things you have to learn. The point is not to shoot pointlessly, the point is not to be a life saver and try to save everybody… the point is to know what’s the best way to get out of a shitty situation. Sometimes you have to be selfish.”

“I’m pretty good at the last part.”

“It will probably save your life in the future.”

“You say it yet you saved me today. I am sure that if not me the guy would not get that close. Your father saved you.”

“Well, there are exceptions to the general rule, of course. I’d give my life for my father.”

“You really love him, don’t you?”

A bit of silence.

“He’s my dad.”

“I just… I just remember he wasn’t the nicest to you, that’s all… Not my business.”

“I thought he absolutely hated me for awhile.” Sousuke said, surprising Rin. “He often confuses me. But I know he cares. When I…” He stopped talking.

“When you what?”

“It’s just, he showed it, not once. I know he does.”

“He just seems like a cold guy.”

“He isn’t exactly a ball of sunshine,” he laughed. “But he is different with his people. You will see one day.”

“I don’t think he likes me.” Rin snorted.

“I think he will begin to like you once you will show him that you’re a fighter.”

Rin smiled to himself.

“I know a good boyfriend should tell you screw others, but I guess in this situation it’s sort of important to make him accept you.” Sousuke sighed.

“I know. I understand.”

Silence.

“I really did not expect you to call.” Sousuke admitted finally.

“I will make you trust me, too.”

Sousuke chuckled.

“Is there a lot you’re still hiding from me?” Rin asked.

“What do you mean?”

Rin shrugged. “It’s been five years.”

“Yeah.” He breathed out. “But I’d prefer if we talked about everything face to face. I don’t want to tell you scraps, we need to properly talk about… certain things. You need to get some sleep and let everything you saw and learned today get to you first and then see…”

“Sousuke, I am not going to change my mind.” He shook his head.

“Okay… I mean, I know. But it’s not something to talk about over the phone anyway and we’re both dead tired.”

“Will I see you tomorrow, then?”

“Of course, I am taking us back to Samezuka.”

“Right.”

“Should we leave around… twelve?”

“Fine with me.”

“Okay. I will pick you and Gou up at twelve then.”

“Okay.” Rin smiled, playing with the edge of his pillow. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Take care. I will see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”

Rin ended the call and put the phone away.

It really was a new beginning.


	15. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your nightmares follow you like a shadow, forever. ”
> 
> ― Aleksandar Hemon

“Wake up, the breakfast is here!”

Sousuke groaned when he heard his father’s voice and pulled the pillow over his head.

“Come on, it will get cold!”

He sighed and after a few moments stood up slowly, rubbing his eyes. He made his way out of his room towards the living room where Takeshi and Isao were chatting and eating. The table was full of food. He sat down, quickly mumbling ‘Morning’ and took the jug with orange juice inside to pour himself a glass.

“Is everything okay?” Isao asked, starring at him with concern. Takeshi side-eyed him. What a mother hen.

Sousuke nodded, supporting his head with his hand.

“Hands of the table.” Takeshi stuck the fork in his arm, snorting when his son looked at him with annoyance. “Good lord, is my son growing facial hair?” He laughed when Sousuke threw a small orange at him which Takeshi caught with ease.

“Wow, dad, you finally had the chance to notice.” Sousuke shook his head.

“Good point, when did you two last ate breakfast together?” Isao spread the butter over his piece of bread.

They both shrugged making him roll his eyes.

“Did Rin contact you?” Takeshi asked, sipping his coffee.

“Yeah, I am going to pick him and Gou up at twelve.”

Isao started laughing seeing Takeshi’s surprised face. “Told you,” he mouthed to him. Sousuke smiled bright at Takeshi, knowing it will piss him off.

“He found out about Nanase,” Sousuke continued. “And nothing. He wants to be with me anyway.”

“Impressive.” Isao showed him a thumb up. “What are you planning to do now?”

“Teach him how to protect himself first. Then the rest.” Sousuke chewed on the inside of his cheek, deep in thoughts.

“If you will need any help, just tell.”

“Thanks, Isao.” He smiled.

Takeshi did not say anything.

*

“Mom, don’t cry. We will be back soon.” Gou hugged and kissed her cheek as Rin looked out of the window. He smiled wide when he heard the sound of Sousuke’s Mustang and soon it showed up in front of the house. Rin quickly walked out and threw himself on Sousuke’s neck when he got out of the car.

“Hi!”

“Hey, love.” Sousuke laughed, arms tight around Rin. “Ready to go?”

“Yes, just need to say bye to my mom. Come on…” Rin pulled Sousuke after himself but he stopped him.

“It’s okay, say goodbye, I will wait here.”

Rin looked at him surprised but did not say anything and did as told.

When his mom pulled him close and kissed the top of his head, he noticed her grasp being tighter than ever.

“Be careful, okay?” She stroked his cheeks with her thumbs.

“Sure, mom! Don’t worry about me.”

Sometimes it was difficult to hide anything from his mother. Such a typical mom who just knew, but Rin was aware that he had to keep her as far away from the truth as possible. Not only for her own safety, but Sousuke’s and his relationship as much as individual safety.

She sighed and brushed his hair back with her hand. He walked out with Gou, feeling his mother’s eyes on his back. Sousuke was looking at her, face unreadable but when Rin turned around she already closed the door after herself.

*

“Is there a reason for you dressing so differently out of sudden?” Rin stood by their bunk, watching Sousuke unpacking his bag. Money and guns got thrown under the bed, secured in a silver case.

“What do you mean?” He asked, standing up.

“Just because your clothes aren’t flashy doesn’t mean I can’t tell that they are expensive. What happened to your ‘I’m just like everybody else, look at me dressed in sport clothes’?” Rin used a little mocking tone, showing him his tongue.

Sousuke smirked and pulled him into a kiss, making him gasp. “There is no point in hiding under the façade anymore. You know now, others will soon find out, too.”

“You think others will find out?” Rin smoothed Sousuke’s shirt against his hard abs.

“I’m pretty sure majority of the school already knows. The information started spreading with the club getting opened, add to it the policeman’s house getting burned down to the ground. They know Yakuza is in town, won’t take them long to figure out who is the son of the boss.”

“I don’t understand why would they associate you with Yakuza.”

“Gossip is a beautiful thing and Yamazaki had the Yakuza label attached to the name since a long time ago.” Sousuke smiled and kissed his forehead. “We were never a secret. You do know how people prefer denial sometimes, though, huh? They know it is better to keep quiet, too.”

Rin sighed, standing on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek, laughing quietly when Sousuke pulled him close, hands on his bum.

“So, are you ready to start learning how to shoot?”

Rin looked up in surprise and slapped Sousuke’s arm when he smiled cheekily at him. He crossed his arms on his chest. “Are you ready to have your ass beaten?”

Sousuke laughed and pulled him after himself.

*

The place was quite a few minutes away from Samezuka. Rin looked curiously at the dodgy street and shops on it. It was one of those streets that you do not visit alone. Or at all.

“Such a sweet place.” Rin noticed.

“If you’d ever need drugs, or weapons, or lots of alcohol… I suggest you come here and ask for Tommy. Not before you will know how to work a gun, though.” Sousuke unlocked his seatbelt, seeing him not moving and they walked out when Rin took a deep breath in.

He wasn’t scared but there was something… uncanny in the whole situation. He was planning to change his whole life. The whole life he just imagined swimming. Interesting how boring his dreams seemed suddenly. When he was ensured that Sousuke is following his dream, he was at the same time learning how to shoot, fight… It was still so surrealistic to him.

They walked through the dirty street, cans and other trash on the ground in places. It was empty and simply depressingly grey. Even though there were quite a few shops on it, that Rin doubted really served what they displayed on the windows, they were all blank. Seemed to be closed.

Sousuke banged on the heavy metal door at the complete end and they opened with a squeaky noise. There was a big guy standing in them, long dirty hair, a shirt with a metallic band logo on.

“Yakuza.” He looked down on Sousuke before he opened his mouth. “I don’t want any trouble.”

“Hey, I only want to shoot a little.” Sousuke smirked and raised his hands up.

The guy eyed Rin who stuttered.

“He’s new.” Sousuke pointed at him. “He has to learn.”

He eyed them again and finally let them in.

*

Rin send Sousuke a confused look but he only winked to him and took the protective wear from the man. He handed the goggles and headphones to him, but told him not to put them on yet. Then they received a gun.

“Pretty small and light.” Sousuke handed it to Rin who took it carefully. “Great for the first timer.” He pushed him towards the room on the right, where luckily no one was in. Rin did not want anyone to see his first steps in shooting. It probably won’t go too well.

“I will stand behind you, so don’t worry.” Sousuke pushed him towards the first cabin.

And then it began. Sousuke corrected his pose, straightening his back. He put the gun properly in his hands and told him how to hold it. Rin tried to take it seriously, but Sousuke’s body pressed to his back and his warm breath behind his ear made his knees shake. Luckily he soon put the headphones over his ears so Rin could concentrate.

Shooting was way harder than he expected. His arms were strong but the power of the shoot still pushed him back sometimes. He was quickly improving though, under Sousuke’s watchful eye and strictness.

To be fair there was something arousing in Sousuke acting bossy.

*

It was very late when they finally made his way back to the dormitory. Stripped off to change into pyjama bottoms and Rin pulled Sousuke after him, not letting him climb up to his bed.

“You did so well today,” Sousuke whispered in his ear as Rin cuddled up to him, warm bodies pressed together. “I am really proud of you.”

Rin kissed him softly on the lips. “You’re a good teacher.”

Sousuke grinned. “Night.” He laughed when Rin put his head on his chest, one arm over it. Rin kicked him in the shin mumbling a little ‘shut up’ making him laugh again.

*

_“What’s wrong with me?” Dark haired kid whispered weakly, lying on a bed in a hospital. There were small cables attached to his chest going from the monitor showing his heartbeat and IV line in his arm. The nasal cannula was helping him breath. He was frightened, hands grasping the duvet._

_“You’re ill.” Tall dark haired man dressed in a suit said quietly, a doctor and a nurse close to him._

_“Don’t worry.” The doctor ensured him. “You are going to be okay.”_

_It was all a lie, he thought later that day as he watched the disgustingly coloured liquid slowly dripping from the IV bag, down the IV lines straight into his veins, making him more and more sick. They told him it might make him feel a little ill. He wasn’t sure what a lot meant and wasn’t keen on finding out, as he spend the whole night vomiting, never before feeling so awful. His knees were shaking on the cold ground of the bathroom as he clutched the toilet. At some point he just began coughing on dry air, nothing in his stomach anymore._

_His father and Isao were with him, holding him up. He did not have strength, pain and tiredness making his body tremble. He could not stop it. He wanted to cry, but knew it would only make his father mad._

_But it hurt so much._

_Someone lifted him up then after cleaning his face, soft quiet whispers over his head. He thought he had his eyes open but he could not see anything._

_He wasn’t sure but it felt like his father was petting his hair, he could feel the rings on his fingers. Or maybe it was Isao. He couldn’t remember if Isao wore any…_

_Or maybe he just wanted his father to show that he cared. At least a little._

*

“Sousuke? Sousuke!”


	16. Father's worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I once met a boy whose eyes enlarged with fire, but as he grew, they sunk with question and anxiety.”   
> ― Dominic Riccitello

“Sousuke, wake up!”

Sousuke quickly opened his eyes, taking a deep breath in and started coughing, lifting himself into a sitting position.

“Shhh, calm down…”

Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out…

It was just a dream.

Just a dream.

Calm down.

Shhh.

Everything is okay.

He breathed in Rin’s sweet shampoo smell as Rin brought his hands up around him to hug him tight, whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

His head hurt and lungs were on fire but Rin’s soft touch was slowly calming him down, lulling him to sleep again. He wasn’t sure when he was pushed back into a laying position, Rin on top of him, holding him tight.

*

They were late to the classes, so luckily Rin did not really have time to ask Sousuke about the nightmare. Sousuke did not want to talk about it. He wasn’t sick anymore. It ended. He was clear. Complete remission.

‘Five years.’

He could remember the doctor telling him that if it won’t come back within five, then he can really relax.

It’s been two.

Why was he getting so obsessed with it? It was only a nightmare. Dreams do not tell us what’s happening with us.

They do tell what we fear sometimes, though.

Sousuke thought he forgot about it all, but maybe because he shoved it in the back of his mind it came back so strong out of sudden. There was no other explanation. He was tired lately, but it had nothing to do with it. He did not feel sick. Feeling down had nothing to do with it either. Those were symptoms, but they did not have to be symptoms of cancer. All the latest stress, constant concern over Yori, and now Rin, plus lack of sleep… that’s what was making him tired. It had to be it…

“What’s going on?” Rin touched his hand that was grasping the fork way too tightly.

They were sitting in the school’s canteen, eating lunch.

“Nothing.” Sousuke lifted his head and smiled at him.

“You’ve been playing with your food for the past ten minutes,” Rin said quietly. “And you look upset. And worried. Is it something to do with the nightmare?”

“No, everything is okay.” Sousuke shook his head and started eating, hoping he will drop it.

*

Rin did drop it, and their days were going smoothly, luckily without nightmares. When they had time, they were practicing shooting, but mostly they had to focus on training and their classes. It was pretty quiet in the mafia world, which let them relax for awhile. Only when they could, though, because mostly they faceplanted on the bed every night, no strength to lift an eyelid.

One day they made their way towards Sousuke’s car, parked on the side of the small parking by school. Not many students had cars, most actually living in Samezuka so not bothering to get one.

They were both dressed in suits, prepared for a night out in some nice restaurant Sousuke booked a table at. Sousuke walked quickly in front of Rin, sending him a cheeky smile, to open him the door.

Rin smiled to himself. ‘What a gentleman.’

Sousuke clicked the little pilot to unlock the car.

And the Mustang exploded.

Rin shouted as the car went high in the air. The blast made Rin hit the ground, he could hear the Mustang hitting it quickly, too. It felt like the fire was right on his cheeks, the heat strong, even though the explosion threw him away.

Rin quickly turned on his back, facing the car being eaten by the flames, snaps and cracks in the air weirdly muted. He quickly searched for Sousuke with his eyes, and dragged himself to his knees seeing him close to the car. Rin quickly crawled to Sousuke who was curled up on the ground, hands pressed tight to his ears.

“Sousuke? Sousuke!” He shook him but Sousuke curled up even more.

Rin dragged him away, hands under his arms. Sousuke got ever the primary shock and pushed himself away with his legs to help him. They dropped as far away as they felt was safe.

Rin brought his arms tight around him, hiding his face in his neck.

“Are you okay?” Rin rubbed his arms, seeing Sousuke not contacting.

Sousuke nodded, not opening his eyes. Everything was blurry to him and the noise muted, he felt sick when he tried to focus.

“Sousuke! Rin!” They both heard and lifted their heads to see Momo and Ai running to them, and they noticed that a big group of people already gathered around them, watching frightened. “Are you ok?! They already called for police and ambulance!”

“Fuck, not police,” Sousuke murmured trying to lift himself up, but Rin kept him leaning on his chest.

“What? Why?” Nitori asked confused.

“Don’t listen to him, he hit his head.” Rin covered Sousuke’s mouth with his hand.

“You don’t look good.” They looked concerned at Sousuke. “Don’t worry, the ambulance will be here in a moment!”

Rin held Sousuke tighter when he moved but he realised quickly Sousuke was searching for his phone. He pressed one number and placed the phone against his ear.

“Dad?”

Right, of course. Rin should have thought about it, but when he considered calling that man shivers went down his spine.

“The car exploded,” Sousuke murmured. “No, in Samezuka. I unlocked it and… boom.” He pressed his fingers to his eyes. Rin caressed his arms again. Sousuke was quiet for a moment and then put his phone down without a word.

“Everything okay?” Rin’s lips touched his ear.

Sousuke nodded, bringing his hand up to touch his wrist. “Just fucking pissed off.”

Momo made big eyes. “Your father is pissed your car exploded?”

Sousuke opened his eyes to look at him like at a fool.

“That’s the police, we will tell them you’re here!” Ai tugged Momo after himself and they ran towards the loud noise.

“Fuck.” Sousuke unlocked Rin’s arms from around himself and sat slowly. “Fuck, damn it.”

“Could you at least act like a normal student for five seconds?” Rin whispered to him, stopping himself from slapping his shoulder.

Sousuke grinned a little unconsciously and then turned his head and laughed seeing the policemen. “Daddy gonna be in a fucking paradise.”

“Are you drunk?”

“Mr Yamazaki.”

“Officer Nanase, how nice to see you.” Sousuke smiled, the distaste clear in it.

‘Ohh,’ Rin thought. ‘Now things started making sense.’

Mr Nanase was a guy of average height, with the same blue eyes as his son. There were two other guys by him, and they moved a little when he said Sousuke’s surname.

“And what happened, exactly?”

Sousuke lifted his eyebrows and turned his head to face his car. Then he faced them back and raised his hands to spread them whispering “boom!”.

“I see your father taught you well how to respect officers,” said Nanase, eyes cold.

“Are you attacking my son, Nanase?”

They turned suddenly to face no one else but Takeshi and Isao standing right behind them, faces unreadable. Rin tightened his hand on Sousuke’s arm, seeing him bringing his hand up to his eyes again.

“Of course not.” Nanase responded, jaw clenched.

“I am taking my son to the hospital, which he obviously needs and you of course overlook it to tell him pointless rubbish. Get out of my way.” Takeshi sneered and one of the other policemen pulled Nanase by his arm to let Takeshi walk through.

He did without sparing another look at them, Isao following him.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here.”

Takeshi surprised Rin with the quick look of concern on his face, it was shocking to see any emotions on this man, even when it was about his son. He grabbed Sousuke by his arm and lifted him with ease, Isao quickly catching his other arm to help. Rin followed them quickly, when Isao discreetly grasped his wrist.

*

“Was that Florist again?” Sousuke asked once they sat inside Takeshi’s car, yet another different one, Rin quickly noticed as he slipped his hand in Sousuke’s who tightened his hold with a smile.

“Most likely.” Takeshi answered and quickly looked behind himself. “How close were you to the car?”

“Pretty close, I think.” Sousuke closed his eyes and comfortably stretched himself out.

“We’re going to our hospital, I called the ambulances off.”

“Sure.” A moment of silence. “Why is he trying to kill me?” Sousuke asked, lack of deeper emotion in his voice making Rin flinch.

“He’s not trying to kill you,” Takeshi disagreed. “He is trying to frighten us.”

“Congratulations, he just managed to piss the fuck out of me.”

“Language.” Takeshi shook his head but Rin noticed the corner of his lips lifting.

*

When Rin sat by the bed they told Sousuke to lay on, what just happened slowly started sinking in. They’ve attached some little cables to Sousuke’s chest and started monitoring his heart, he got an IV with painkillers, and was told to not move while they were waiting for his results. Rin wasn’t sure if he should be concerned or not, were these normal procedures or was there something wrong?

He tried to push away the thought that Sousuke nearly died… again. Takeshi’s words about the Florist only scarring them were a little comforting.

They checked Rin’s ears and head, too, but they were happy with him and just told him to take it easy. Sousuke was pushed on the bed, cloth over his eyes when he kept on covering them, the light making him cringe. Their inner ears were not damaged, but because Sousuke was closer to the explosion, it would take it longer for him to get full hearing back.

“Are you feeling better now?” Rin asked quietly, hand holding Sousuke’s.

“Yeah, not so dizzy anymore,” Sousuke mumbled, looking pale.

“They will most likely tell you to stay a night, you probably have a concussion,” Isao said from the end of the bed where he sat with Takeshi who was quiet since they started checking Sousuke over, taking his blood first.

“I don’t remember hitting the ground with my head.”

“It’s normal for you to not remember, besides explosion was enough…” Takeshi finally spoke, but before he could continue the doctor walked in, kind older looking man with fully grey hair, shortly cut.

“How are you feeling, Sousuke?” He smiled kindly, putting his hand over Sousuke’s forehead.

“Better.”

“Still dizzy?”

“A little.”

“I want you to stay the night so we can monitor you properly, okay?” He brushed his hair back and looked at Takeshi. “He already has symptoms typical for concussion, we need to see if there won’t be any brain swelling, which often happens after explosions.” He explained. “He needs to be here just in case.”

“Of course.” Takeshi nodded.

“Can I have a few words with you, in my office, Takeshi?” The doctor showed with his hand towards the door, and Takeshi lifted himself, worry on his face, but he did not say anything.

“What’s wrong?” Sousuke quickly asked.

“Nothing, you just rest so I will be able to let you out tomorrow.” He patted his arm when Sousuke turned to face him, cloth still over his eyes. “I will tell the nurse to bring you our special pyjamas.”

“Sweet.” Sousuke made a face.

‘Stay with them.’ Rin noticed as Takeshi mouthed to Isao who nodded and Rin quickly turned to face Sousuke again, feeling him squeezing his hand tighter.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” He failed to smile.

Now Rin was really starting to worry.


	17. Don't hide what you feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The greatest mark of a father is how he treats his children when no one is looking.”  
> ― Dan Pearce

“I will get some coffee.” Isao stood up and Rin smiled when Sousuke lifted his hand to wave, unsurely since he could not see. “Would you like something, too?” They both shook heads.

When Isao disappeared from their view, Rin squeezed Sousuke’s hand.

“What’s going on, Sousuke?” Rin asked quietly, seeing him restless since Takeshi walked out. “You’re hiding something from me.”

“You’re imagining things,” he murmured dismissively.

Rin sighed.

*

“What’s going on?” Takeshi quickly took the place on the other side of the desk the doctor sat at.

“I’m concerned about Sousuke.” He looked at the results he had placed in front of himself.

“What do you mean?”

The doctor lifted his head from the documents and smiled to calm him down. “Don’t worry, I found no indication of cancer.”

“Jesus,” Takeshi breathed out and hid his face in his hands, now realising how tense he was.

“I am sorry, I should have realised you’d think I found something awful,” he apologised. “I am concerned because his results aren’t the best, that’s all.”

Takeshi lifted his head and focused on him properly.

“It’s nothing very serious, what I can suggest is ensuring he starts eating healthier, gets more sleep… He’s anaemic,” he explained. “I know it’s been two years, but he should ensure he is living a healthy lifestyle. He still needs to take care of himself, Takeshi.”

“He’s at school, I have no idea what he is doing. I thought he’s fine…” Takeshi massaged his temples. “I will have a word with him.”

“How is he feeling, anyway? Is everything okay? You did not notice anything… worrisome? I mean psychologically.”

“Are you asking me to diagnose him? Well, he thinks he should have died instead of Umiko and blames himself for everything…” Takeshi thought he would forget about his son’s words, blame them on shock, but he could not. Since he told him, Takeshi had nightmares full of those words. They were haunting him more than the casket with his wife’s body these days.

“It’s normal for kids to say things like that.” The doctor said quietly, eyes on him. “Sousuke was always a clever child, but thinking and blaming himself too much. You know whose fault that is.” He pointed straight at Takeshi.

“It’s been years…”

“Children never forget and learn from what you teach them.” The doctor stood up and put the documents away. “He’s looking at you, Takeshi. His eyes follow you all the time, he wants to be just like you to impress you. Be thankful he still looks up to you and loves you so much after everything that happened between you two.”

“I am not a good father but I stopped being awful, alright?” Takeshi stood up, too, a little annoyed. He did not need others to remind him that he fucked up as a father and screwed up his son’s self-esteem in result.

“He will need to take it easy for a few days.” He changed the topic. “Don’t you all need a short holiday?” The doctor smiled, trying to cheer up the atmosphere.

Takeshi smirked on his way out. “Oh, didn’t I tell you, I was planning to leave for awhile!”

*

“Out you two, I need to talk with my son.” Takeshi walked in the hospital room and kicked out Isao and Rin quickly. He ignored the big side-eye he received from his best friend.

Sousuke was already in the hospital gown, duvet under his chin. He lifted the cloth from his eyes to peak from underneath it at Takeshi. There was fear in them.

Takeshi sighed and sat by his side. “What are you doing with yourself, boy?”

Sousuke blinked, dark shadows under his eyes as his face was still pale, one cheek burned. “What?” He seemed confused.

“The doctor told you that you have to take care of yourself, and you neither rest or eat well. What’s going on?”

“Oh please.” Sousuke rolled his eyes, and Takeshi noticed him relaxing. “There is not that much of school left. We’re busy working on assignments, preparing for exams, and working our asses off in swimming. There is no time for eight hours of sleep, million little meals each with a fruit and… “ He added in a mocking tone. “Whatever they said.”

“You’re anaemic,” said Takeshi. “You need to start doing this ‘whatever they said’.”

“I will, later,” he murmured tiredly, rubbing his eyes.

“You thought that you’re sick again, haven’t you?” Takeshi’s voice was not a lot above whisper.

Sousuke moved uncomfortably.

“Why?” Takeshi furrowed his eyebrows. He wondered if Sousuke was feeling unwell but did not tell anyone anything, which would not be surprising.

“Why? Don’t pretend you do not understand.” Sousuke chuckled. “You think I haven’t seen your face? We don’t need words, it’s the doctor sending a look to another, needing another blood test, whispers, or wanting to talk with you on the side… Every single time I get a needle stuck in my body, I think the result will be it. Every single time I end up in hospital, I think I won’t leave. Every single time I get a stupid headache I think it’s beginning again.” He swallowed hard, not looking at his father. “It’s constant fear and I trying to forget, but…”

“Sousuke.” Takeshi moved closer, and put his hand on his cheek, so his son would look at him. “It’s fine to be scared. No one expected you to act like nothing happened. Ever.” He took a deep breath in. “Of course it terrifies me whenever I feel like they might tell me you’re ill again. I know you would push through it, I don’t know if I would, though.” He laughed quietly. “There’s nothing worse for a father to see his child in pain,” he added in a whisper.

“Even a mafia’s boss?” Sousuke shook his head a little in disbelief. “You’re used to this. It’s not the only way I can drop dead, look at today for example.” He scrounged his nose up. “Can’t believe they blew up my new car, what a bunch of fucking…”

“If I had as much control over this illness as I have over people and actions, I would be a lot calmer, trust me,” he said, starring at his hands and ignoring Sousuke’s swearing. “I want you to take better care of yourself. I don’t like you abusing alcohol and drugs, either.” He looked up at him harshly.

“Oh, please.”

“Don’t ‘please’ me. You’re seventeen years old.”

“And murdering people on the snap of your fingers, you really want to baby me?” Sousuke snorted.

Takeshi groaned in frustration. “I just want you to be healthy. Don’t hurt yourself.”

“I am going to be useful to you for awhile, it seems, don’t worry.” Sousuke rubbed his eyes again.

Takeshi flinched and then caught his wrist, making Sousuke stare at him surprised. “You’re my son and I care about you, could you finally understand that?”

They eyed each other for what seemed minutes when the nurse came in and they looked away, Takeshi letting go off Sousuke’s wrist. He watched as Sousuke tensed when she took out injections only to relax because she used the cannula to put the medicine in, not needing to inject him in a new place.

“How is your head? Are you feeling any pain?” She asked kindly.

Sousuke shook his head. “I’m fine.”

“Good, good. I gave you some painkillers, you should sleep well now. Just rest.” She smiled and walked out.

“Did you tell Rin about it?” Takeshi lifted the duvet a bit higher to cover him better.

“No, and I don’t want him to know.”

“You should tell him. Someone will spill it, most likely Kisumi. Besides, just in case…”

Sousuke sent him a sharp look.

“Kisumi will spill it.” Takeshi repeated.

“Since when do you care about Rin?” Sousuke snorted, not letting this one go.

“What exactly told you I care about him?” He seemed pretty much insulted, making Sousuke laugh.

“Okay, my relationship with Rin,” Sousuke corrected himself.

“Look. Lying to your partner never works. I tried to lie to your mother plenty of times at the beginning. It’s impossible to keep such secrets when you’re with someone, especially with as much time as you two spend together. You will either get slapped or kicked. And then I will need to deal with it.” Takeshi rolled his eyes.

Sousuke blinked. “Are you giving me relationship advice?”

“Not the first time, is it?” Takeshi made a little ‘pff’ noise. “You know he will find out. Better if it’s going to be from you. You’re not sick anymore, what’s the issue?”

“I love living with someone who does not know about it.” Sousuke looked at the ceiling. “It’s like it never really existed. I don’t want to scare Rin off. I am still shocked he accepted our world and our fight with Nanase… Now I am suppose to tell him that I nearly died and there’s always a possibility that it will come back and once it will that’s when the hell really will begin?” He shook his head. “God, all the pluses of being with me.” He laughed bitterly.

“I am sure he finds a lot of pluses if he has decided to stay with you after finding all of that out. Stop lying to me, you’re mostly worried he will pity you and start acting like a mother hen, not knowing what he should do.”

“I’ve got Isao for that, it would be creepy to have my boyfriend acting like him.”

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s impossible to be a bigger mother-hen than Isao,” Takeshi snorted.

“Hey, Isao is the best.” Sousuke turned on his side and smiled. “Even though he makes me feel three no matter how old I am.”

Takeshi smiled a little back. “I am glad he helps where I can’t.”

“You’re doing pretty ok,” Sousuke said quietly, eyes curious.

He exhaled. “I am trying.”

No one would call him a good father. He always knew he wouldn’t be one. Not with the amount of hatred and bitterness he held within himself, not with being a mafia boss training his son to take his place one day, not with all his flaws, and especially not after what he did to Sousuke when he was a little boy.

He wasn’t even sure if Sousuke could remember it. He never spoke of his grandmother, and Takeshi was too afraid to ask, frightened he will trigger a panic attack again. He was grateful that Sousuke never had one after it, it was terrifying. 

He fucked up so much he wondered why Sousuke considered him his father at all.

“You’re a fantastic dad.”

Takeshi looked up in surprise when he felt Sousuke’s hand squeezing his, smile unsure. He chuckled, squeezing his hand back.

“And you’re a fantastic son.” He brushed Sousuke’s hair back with his hand, as Sousuke’s eyes grew big. “Just because I do not say it often, does not mean I do not think it. Remember that.”

Something broke a little inside him seeing his son’s eyes shining from tears that he quickly blinked back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are very appreciated :)
> 
> Lately I've been adding quite a few new SouRin and even one SouGou fics, they're all on this account :)


	18. This means war

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”  
> ― Neil Gaiman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For amazing @ion4ever who always draws for me what my heart needs <333

“He’s going to sleep now, we can go home.”

Takeshi walked out of Sousuke’s hospital room and faced Isao and Rin who were sitting by each other on the chairs by the wall.

“How is he feeling? Is everything ok?” Isao asked, while Rin started fidgeting, playing with his sleeves.

“It’s just anaemia, he needs to rest and start taking better care of himself, that’s all.” Takeshi explained and looked at Rin who opened his mouth to say something, the sound dying in his throat when Takeshi cocked an eyebrow.

“I just…” he stuttered. God, why was Takeshi so intimidating? “Would it be okay for me to stay?”

Isao and Takeshi exchanged a look. “Shouldn’t be a problem if you wish to. Are you sure you don’t want to go back to Samezuka, though? I will give you a lift.” Takeshi asked him.

“No, it’s fine, thank you.” Rin breathed out.

“Alright, then. I will send someone in the morning to pick you both up.”

Rin nodded and they said their goodbyes. Takeshi watched him making his way to Sousuke, biting his cheek thinking.

“The boy is working hard to make you like him, huh?” Isao smirked, seeing Takeshi’s face.

“I was happy that he took care of Sousuke after the bomb went off, instead of running away like a bitch or crying and being the one everybody took care of instead of Sousuke.” Takeshi explained honestly as they started walking towards the exit. “Sousuke said he began learning how to shoot, Rin is apparently taking it seriously and doing his best. He might be a little biased, let’s be honest, but at least the guy is doing something. I am not sure what’s the reason for him growing as a person already, whether Sousuke told him something, or he figured out he has to change himself, or maybe the shooting is making more of a man out of him… But he is improving and that’s important. I want Sousuke to have someone who will be able to take care of him, too. Umiko knew when to take over and save the whole gang when I could not.”

Isao patted him on the back. “It all came with time, too. Give some Rin as well. You could tell how worried he was today; I think he is taking it well anyway. This kid wasn’t born used to bombs and murderers.”

Takeshi nodded in agreement. He took the small pilot out of his jacket and opened the car so they could sit inside.

“We need to finish setting things up. I will send them to the hotel for tomorrow and then we can leave the next morning,” Takeshi said quietly, hands on the steering wheel as he drove out of the parking.

“Everything is pretty much ready, he called me when you were with Sousuke.”

“Good.” The corner of his lips lifted. “Time to strike back, finally.”

“That was quite a long talk you had with Sousuke.” Isao changed the topic, looking curiously at Takeshi.

“I tried to get out of him what’s wrong, he’s making himself ill. Apparently, it’s just school work.” Takeshi sighed. “I will have an eye on him for a week and see if there’s anything going on. I can’t tell what’s going on seeing him once in awhile.”

“I think he thought he’s sick again. Rin tried to get out of him why he’s so restless.”

“He told me that he is constantly scared it will come back,” said quietly Takeshi, sadness on his face. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t guarantee him that it won’t, so what I’m supposed to say?”

Isao was quiet for a moment and then sighed. “I don’t know, Takeshi. I really don’t.”

*

Rin walked in quietly, not sure whether Sousuke was asleep or not. The big light was off so Sousuke took the cloth off his eyes that were now closed, his breathing even. Rin sat carefully by his side to not wake him up and kissed his cheek.

Mafia was often reminding him how easily they could lose a life. It was so surrealistic at the beginning to him, but he finally understood how one second they could be here, and another not anymore.

It was a scary thought, especially that he knew it was Sousuke who was in way more danger than him. Rin was useless to these people, no one would try to kill him. He did not really fear for his life. But Sousuke was the boss’s son, he was as important as Takeshi. The amount of enemies that wanted them gone had to be gigantic, not even mentioning simple police that would kill them off if they could. Sousuke’s mother already died getting killed by a policeman. Sousuke could be next. Especially with Takeshi keeping a war between them.

If he only had been closer today to the car, the bomb could have killed him. If Takeshi were a few seconds later, the killer could have killed him. It’s only been a few weeks and Rin already nearly lost him twice.

It was terrifying.

“Rin?” He heard Sousuke’s sleepy voice.

“Hey.” Rin snapped out of his thoughts and bent to kiss him on the lips.

“What are you doing here? Dad said he would give you a lift back to Samezuka.”

“I wanted to stay.” Rin smiled. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.” Sousuke caught the front of his shirt and pulled him on him, making Rin yelp. “Shush.” He laughed.

“I can’t sleep with you on one bed.” Rin made himself comfortable anyway, head on Sousuke’s chest. He put one arm over him, purring quietly when he stroked his back.

“You think anyone will tell you off?” Sousuke snorted.

“You like using your surname to your advantage, don’t you?” Rin lifted his head and shook it.

“If I can make my life easier, why not?” Sousuke shrugged. “You know, I tried to act like I do not belong for awhile. ‘I can deal on my own.’ The fact is, there is no point in making your life more difficult just to be a brat, really. Besides, I’m at this age I need to show being responsible, not throwing fits.” He kissed the top of Rin’s head.

“’At this age’… You’re sounding like you’re getting ready to take your father’s place. I don’t think that will happen for awhile.”

“Oh, no, I know that.” Sousuke laughed. “I am supposed to be ready for anything, though. Even to take his place, if… But apart from that he wants me to run a gang with the guys my age, as a support group, basically.”

Rin was worried for Sousuke’s life, he wondered how Sousuke lived all those years wondering if his father will come back home whenever he was away. He knew they were not close before, but so what? Everybody fears their parents’ death. Especially if you only have one parent.

“Do I know those guys?” Rin asked curiously.

“Kisumi as Isao’s son, obviously. My dad’s friends, remember the ones I showed you standing by him, they all have children around my age. There’s maximum three years difference between all of us.”

“So… A gang that will replace them one day?”

“Yeah…”

Rin watched Sousuke falling asleep that night, slowly stroking his cheek with his thumb. 

*

“D’awww, aren’t you two precious?”

Sousuke jerked awake when heard a voice above him. He cringed when the sun hit his eyes and he put his hand over them.

“Akira?” Sousuke asked, arm tightening around Rin who did not move, deep asleep.

“Oh my, did you hit your head that much?” The blonde sighed loudly. “The doctor will come to check on you in a minute, and then let you go, so wake the princess up and get ready.” He grinned brightly. “Your father bought you and the princess some stuff to change into.” He threw four bags on him, waking Rin up and walked out.

“What?” Rin asked sleepily.

Sousuke slowly lifted himself into a sitting position, Rin still on him. Before he could say anything the doctor walked in and shook his head seeing Rin sprawled on the bed. Rin smiled apologetically and quickly slipped off the bed to sit on the chair.

“How are you feeling, Sousuke?" The doctor smiled kindly.

“I am fine.” Sousuke scratched the back of his neck. “Can I go?”

“I need to check on you quickly, and then I will give you a note and you can go. Could you excuse us for a minute, Rin?” He turned to him.

“Sure.” He squeezed Sousuke’s hand and stood up.

“Clothes.” Sousuke reminded him and handed him the bags. Rin looked surprised but took the bag with smaller size clothes and shoes, wondering how on earth Sousuke’s father knew his size.

The doctor finished checking Sousuke’s health before he walked out of the bathroom, clean and changed. Rin felt much better refreshed and smiled seeing Sousuke holding up a note proving he’s healthy and can safely go home.

“Nice.” Sousuke looked at his new outfit as Rin smoothed the shirt against his chest, sending him a grin. “Ok, my turn.” He stood up with a bit of wince and made his way to the bathroom, kissing Rin on his way.

*

“So where are we going?” Rin asked curiously as he sat in the back of the car, Sousuke in the front by Akira.

“I am supposed to take you to Ritz and you’re going to wait there until tomorrow morning. Boss will pick you two up and we’re all going on holiday.” Akira recited out.

“Did he say we couldn’t go out?” Sousuke asked.

“Yeah. You’re supposed to stay inside.”

“Are you sure we’re not going to have problems, leaving school for a week?” Rin sat in the middle and bent to hear them better. All he heard is that they need to be out of the country. He could ask Sousuke later for details.

“Nah, do not worry about it.” Sousuke shook his head.

“We don’t even have anything with us,” murmured Rin, putting his chin on the back of the sit, close to Sousuke’s head.

Sousuke turned and kissed his nose. “We will do quick shopping tomorrow on our way to the airport.”

“Where are we going, anyway?”

“No idea.” Akira and Sousuke replied at the same time.

“I’ve got amazing news for you, though.” Akira smirked.

“What?” Sousuke looked at him suspiciously.

“Kimuras are going with us.”

“Oh, HELL NO!”

Rin looked up surprised at Sousuke whose hands twisted into fists, jaw clenched. He looked pissed off. Akira laughed.

“Who are they?” Rin asked.

“Like… long distance cousins or some shit like that, from my father’s side. They think they are in Yakuza but all they want is to marry-in to get money. Nothing else.” Sousuke shook his head, irritated. “They’re so fucking annoying and always end up ruining everything.”

“In other words…” Akira turned to face Rin, as they stopped on the red light. “They want their pretty daughter to marry Sousuke, to marry-in right to the highest rank.” He laughed and patted Sousuke on his shoulder.

Sousuke cringed, making a disgusted face.

Rin could feel his blood boiling. Hell no, indeed. Not until he is fucking alive.


	19. Reality hurts sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.”   
> ― Cormac McCarthy

Sousuke threw himself on the bed, face down. Rin snorted, seeing him acting like a kid. He wondered why he was so annoyed with the girl going on the holiday with them. Of course Rin wasn’t happy about it either, hearing about someone wanting to marry your boyfriend does make you annoyed, but obviously Sousuke was frustrated with something else.

“Should I be worried about her?” Rin asked cheekily, quickly lying down by Sousuke.

He lifted his head and looked at him confused.

“What?”

“Well, I thought I am being pathetic getting angry because I trust you after all, but maybe I shouldn’t?” He cocked an eyebrow. Rin was playing, even though they were together not for long, he trusted Sousuke. He protected him in the most dangerous situations, he trusted him telling him about his world, he started teaching him how to protect himself, he never… Rin knew Sousuke loved him, there was no reason to be unreasonable and act jealous.

Sousuke laughed and pulled him closer to place a kiss on his mouth. “What are you talking about? I would never cheat on you. I am just annoyed they’re going.”

Rin propped his head up on his hand and looked at him. “Are they that bad?”

“Apart from their questionable beliefs and annoying questions, they want to know everything, and yeah force their daughter on me. Since the beginning they brainwashed her into wanting me.” Sousuke turned on his back, hands under his head. “Haven’t seen her for a year or two, though, maybe she told them to piss off. I doubt it, though.”

“Do they know we’re together?” Rin asked unsurely. While they did not hide, neither they put it on social media that they’re together, not wanting attention for obvious reasons, but in such situation he wished more people were aware. But would they care?

“Probably, they stick their noses everywhere, especially in our business. Everybody is talking about us being together, so it would be weird if they didn’t hear. That would actually explain how they suddenly reminded themselves about me again.” Sousuke rolled his eyes.

Rin smirked. “Tell them you’re already married.”

“They’d know that, too.”

“You can say we just did in Las Vegas, without telling anyone.”

Sousuke smiled and tugged him closer. “Really?” He cocked an eyebrow. “Would you put a ring on your finger and tell everybody we’re married? What if you could not take it back then?”

Rin shrugged. “If that witch would stay away…”

Sousuke started laughing and Rin bent down to kiss him and then whispered in his ear. “Of course I would.”

“Maybe I should already properly ask you to marry me?”

Rin grinned. “Maybe you should?”

The phone rang.

“It’s like my father heard what we’re talking about.” Sousuke laughed, picking the phone up. Rin shook his head and kissed his cheek. He was on his way to the bathroom when he heard “Hey, dad.”

*

Rin splashed some water on his face. He knew they were just joking, but he could not help but think about it seriously, too. He was curious what Sousuke really felt. Did he really think that seriously about them?

Obviously they were young. Obviously they were properly together only for a few weeks.

If someone would hear them, especially an adult, they’d roll their eyes at them.

If Rin would hear another couple their age talking about marriage, he’d laugh his ass off.

It wasn’t even that he was a romantic, and of course he dreamed about his own wedding, especially those days he thought there is not a single chance for them to be together. Hey, a guy can dream, right? There was nothing wrong with imagining how beautiful it would be for them two to be together, marrying, having a family, kids…

And while it sounded surreal, goodness, they were only seventeen after all, they already proved to be serious about this relationship more than some married couples.

Rin’s life turned upside down. He agreed to keep quiet, to live a dangerous life, to learn how to shoot, to learn how to kill… To not tell his mother, to keep it a secret from everybody, he got involved in something illegal and wrong all for Sousuke because he loved him. He most likely still did not see how awful this life really might be.

Sousuke would stand on his head to save him, he was ready to cover him with his body.

Yet signing marriage papers would sound too much for everybody.

He wanted a wedding, sure, but he wanted a proper fairytale wedding. Lots of people, their family and friends… they’d wear nice suits, and be so happy. And then a massive party.

He did not want to marry quickly in Las Vegas in some crappy place without anyone.

Rin laughed at his reflection. What was he even thinking about?

*

“Why did you even invite them?” Sousuke asked, opening the balcony. He breathed in the fresh air as he walked out on it.

His head still hurt, even though he did not tell anyone. He sat in the sun, hoping maybe it will help him if nothing else did.

Sousuke was pissed off. First, after what they did last time, he was ensured his father wouldn’t ever let them get any close again. Second, since they were aware of his cancer, Sousuke was ensured they would say something. He did NOT want Rin to find out, for God’s sake!

“Do you really think I did? All the bosses are going because they want an alibi and since he is theoretically a boss now, he of course told me he is taking his family. And of course since he heard that you are still alive.”

“Such a poor guy, he had to move his ass since he realised his daughter’s future husband will die before he will put a ring on her finger?” Sousuke asked sarcastically.

Takeshi sighed. “What do you worry about, she will keep her distance since you will have Rin by your side. Probably.” He added unsurely.

“Oh, right, because she kept her distance with Kisumi by my side.”

“Everybody knew you two were just fooling around.”

Sousuke sat on the chair, stretching his legs out. “I did not tell Rin about cancer. I don’t want him to find out.”

“Are you an idiot? There is no way no one will mention it with that many people on the boat, so many of them seeing you last when you were still sick! Goodness, son, I thought you’re intelligent.”

“Thanks, dad.” Sousuke made a frustrated sound. “You’re very fucking helpful.”

“Do whatever you want. You’re going to look like a fool in front of everybody and he will kick your ass.”

“Look at you, you care so much about my relationship yet again.”

It was difficult to not be sarcastic when you start panicking.

“I prefer him than them. I need that kid to push them away.” Takeshi explained simply.

Sousuke rubbed his eyes tiredly. “What time are you going to pick us up?”

“Six. So don’t oversleep.”

“Okay. Bye, dad.”

“Remember to not go out. Bye!”

Sousuke put the phone on the small table, chewing the inside of his cheek. He had to tell Rin, but he had no idea how to even begin such conversation. He really did not want him to know, but it was clear – he had to find out from him, not from people he knew barely or not at all.

“Cancer…?”

Sousuke jumped and turned abruptly when he heard a whisper behind him. Seeing Rin, backing away until he sat on their bed, made his heart beat faster. This is why he did not want to tell him.

To not see him terrified, eyes feeling with tears. Rin was scared, even though it was long time over.

Sousuke was such an idiot, talking about it, trusting he’d hear him walking out of the bathroom.

“Rin, listen…” Sousuke quickly walked up to him and went to his knees to face him properly. “Don’t worry about it, it’s been a long time…”

“This is why you were so restless in the hospital,” Rin whispered, not listening to him. “I knew there was something wrong but it did not cross my mind…”

Sousuke hid his face in his hands. Damn it…

“Why you haven’t told me?”

And this question. Of course he’d ask.

“I just did not want you to worry about it.”

“You think it’s more important how I’d feel than you?” Rin starred at him in disbelief. “You were ill and when you’re scared you can’t even share it with someone you spend the most time with? You can’t hide such things from me, Sousuke!”

Sousuke sat back on the carpet, not looking at him. Rin followed him there to put the palm of his hands on his cheek and look into his eyes.

“Please tell me everything. You weren’t supposed to hide anything from me anymore,” he said quietly.

“I was sick, I am not anymore, there’s nothing to talk about.” Sousuke looked down at his hands, feeling Rin’s thumb stroking his cheek.

“When were you sick? What was it exactly?” Rin pushed for the answer.

Sousuke sighed and closed his eyes. “I was fifteen. I spent about a year sick with leukaemia, then was recovering for another. That’s all.”

“That’s all,” Rin murmured, hands twisting his shirt a little. “Two years suffering from cancer and you call it that’s all.”

Sousuke smiled. “It’s over, I don’t want to talk about it. They weren’t my happiest years, even though my father finally stopped being a major dick.”

“So that’s why he changed.”

“Yes. Once it got pretty bad, he was sure I died for a few moments…”

“What?”

“My heart stopped. They had to bring me back to life. That’s when he snapped.”

Rin cringed and hid his face in Sousuke’s shirt, shivering when he brought his arms around him, hugging him tight. He knew how awful cancer was, it was not difficult to imagine and realising Sousuke had to go through it not that long ago…

And he could not even count on Rin. He could have died and Rin wouldn’t even…

Oh God.

Rin started crying when it hit him, Sousuke’s arms tightening even more around him as he whispered for him to not cry. The realisation hurt, it hurt so much. It terrified him finding out the hell Sousuke had to go through but it’s been awhile since he recalled what he did. When he left him just like that. When he stopped contacting him. All those years he was too selfish and then too much of a coward to contact him, while Sousuke was not only finding out about who his father really is, training how to be like him, to take over one day, dealing with abuse, being left to himself with everything when he needed love and support the most… He was also suffering from one of the worst sicknesses and he did not have someone who called himself his best friend then. Rin left him alone with everything when Sousuke needed him the most.

Soulmate.

He could remember telling Sousuke that they’re soulmates.

And then leaving.

He lived in denial for years, always thinking that leaving people means nothing, that they will wait and once he will come back everything will be the same.

Sousuke being another person once he reunited them was the first shock…

But it was now that he realised that when you leave someone you love you not only miss everything important but simply…

You might have no one to come back to one day.


	20. First time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”   
> ― Dr. Seuss

Rin was a mess so Sousuke moved them to the bed where they could lay down comfortably, Rin clinging to him. Sousuke petted his hair, whispering sweet nothing to his ear, trying to calm him down. He did not know why the information about cancer moved Rin so much. While he did expect him to be scared and maybe even cry, it was Rin after all, he did not expect it to be this bad.

“We could have never reunited,” whispered Rin, his voice broken as sobs shook his body again.

“What are you talking about?” Sousuke asked surprised, lifting Rin’s chin so he would look into his eyes properly. His were red from tears.

“When I left, and you got sick, I wouldn’t even know if you…” His voice died in his throat. “I should have been there by your side, and I did not even know you were sick, and then I did not look for you… I just…”

“Rin…”

“I was planning to come and find you before you reunited us and if you did not… I’d go to your house to speak to you only to find out you were dead…” he choked.

“Goodness, Rin.” Sousuke sat up in shock seeing him panicking, and quickly pulled him into a hug, not knowing what else to do. “You can’t think like that.” His hands tightened around his body.

“But it is true!” He sobbed harder, clinging to his shirt, staining it with tears.

“But I am fine! You’re making it seem like you left me dying alone, come on.” He smiled at him and then bent to kiss the top of his head. “You had no control over what was happening to me.”

“If I stayed then I’d know and could help,” he whispered. “I stopped contacting you, such a friend I was…”

“Rin, we talked about this. You explained to me why you did what you did. If you’d know that I was sick and then left me, fine, you would be an ass,” he laughed, trying to make him smile. “But you did not,” he said quietly, placing the palms of his hands on his cheeks seeing his chin shaking. “You did not know. You had no control over it. And we were supposed to not come back to those times anyway, so stop crying.” He wiped Rin’s tears off his cheeks.

“I am never going to just disappear like that,” Rin sniffed. “I would never cut contact like that again. I always lived in denial that when I leave the world stops and once I will come back then everything and everybody would be the same. It does not work like that. You can lose everything in just one blink…” He shook his head, wiping the tears off with his sleeve. “I don’t want to be so selfish anymore, only thinking about what I want and going for it not looking back, expecting everybody to accept it, love me anyway and just wait for me, no matter how badly I treat them. I did not care how you had to feel, all that mattered to me was what I wanted, I am so sorry…”

Sousuke smiled at him and lifted his chin to place a small kiss on his lips. “I forgive you. You have changed so much since we were kids. Can’t you see? I can! Trust me, I did notice how you turned your world upside down for us. Something I’d never trust you’d do just a few weeks before…” Sousuke took his hands in his. “They say actions say more than words, and I believe in that. Your actions proved I fallen in love with the best person in the world.”

“I love you,” Rin whispered, moving his face closer to Sousuke’s, their lips only a little apart. “I love you so much and I want you to know it. I want you to trust me.”

“I do.” Sousuke stroked his cheek and brought him closer. Their lips met in a kiss.

*

They’ve ordered meals to their room some time later and ate together on the balcony, the sun tanning their faces. Rin growled in annoyance when he felt his cheeks getting red, he was always burning easily. He showed Sousuke his middle finger when he snorted seeing his annoyance.

“Don’t be upset, it fits your hair colour,” said Sousuke.

“You asshole!” Rin kicked him under the table, making him laugh.

Sousuke grinned. “Aren’t you pretty when you get angry?”

Rin hissed at him and threw a green grape at him, ignoring his face getting even redder. Seeing Sousuke laughing again, he stood up and laughed himself when Sousuke raised his hands up in defence quickly.

He shook his head and slipped in Sousuke’s lap, arms around his neck. Sousuke made an approving sound and kissed him, slipping his tongue in his mouth.

Rin’s hands made their way to the corral of Sousuke’s shirt and started unbuttoning it slowly, touching his chest as more and more skin showed. Rin whimpered when Sousuke shifted him a little, and they rubbed against each other in result, kisses becoming more desperate. Rin could feel himself hardening with Sousuke, and he circled his hips, smirking when Sousuke gasped and quickly caught his hips in a grip.

“Tease,” whispered Sousuke, as he straightened up to kiss down his throat easily, Rin’s fingers brushing through his short black hair.

God, he wanted him. His body was on fire, Sousuke’s fingers stroking the inside of his thighs making him wish he had space to spread them wider, as Sousuke’s lips found their way back to his.

Rin closed his eyes when Sousuke’s hands slipped inside his shirt first touching his back and then slowly, giving him time to stop him if he wished to, he took the shirt off Rin. Their eyes met then, question in Sousuke’s, heat in Rin’s. He grinned at Sousuke and cocked his eyebrow. It was enough and moments later he was thrown over Sousuke’s shoulder laughing, as Sousuke took them back to their room.

Soft touches, wet kisses, whispers of love. Rin realised a long time ago that preparing for the special night was pointless. Not only there was always something in their way, but now he realised something else.

At just a snap of someone’s fingers, they could lose each other.

In such moments you stop obsessing over the perfect night. The moment seemed right, they were finally alone, no one would walk in at some point, the walls were not paper thin. Rin could finally relax and let it go. He did not need anything else for the situation to be “acceptable”. This was enough.

All he needed and wanted was Sousuke.

They were busy with work at Samezuka and aware of the danger of trying anything there anyway, but Rin was slowly realising that the importance of making the night just as he imagined it was starting to be less and less important to him. He just wanted Sousuke. Screw some plans. Unexpected situations always felt more real, anyway.

This was why he did not stop himself from moving their relationship to another level when they both simply felt like it.

You can’t plan such things.

He knew how Sousuke’s touch feels. He knew it would feel good.

But he could not imagine the feel of Sousuke’s muscular body between his naked legs, the touch of his soft skin after he slowly slipped his jeans off his legs. He could not expect that his back would arch because the inside of his thighs turned out to be the most sensitive, so when Sousuke placed kisses there, he whimpered. He did not know Sousuke would be capable of making a moaning mess out of him, body shivering out of pleasure, Rin losing control and letting his body move just as Sousuke wanted it. He expected some pain, but he was so relaxed, body kissed all over and wanton.

When he pushed inside of him, Rin placed the palms of his hands on his cheeks and kissed his lips. Sousuke was restraining himself to the point of pain, he could see the concentration on his face, all to not let him feel any pain. Rin brought him even closer then, arms around him, cheek pressed to Sousuke’s shoulder, legs around his hips. They stayed like this for a few moments, listening to their heartbeats, and then started moving until they both came from the pleasure, each other’s name on their lips.

“I love you.” Rin whispered when his breath became even again, and he sneaked another kiss.

Sousuke slowly moved to lie by his side, arm staying around him. He looked at him, fondness in his eyes as he pressed his cheek to the soft white pillow. “I love you, too.”

Rin grinned and turned on his side, finger slowly stroking up and down Sousuke’s chest.

“I am going to be the one that will love lots of cuddles after sex,” he told him honestly, poking his chest.

Sousuke laughed and pulled him over him, strong arms around Rin and he kissed the top of his head as Rin put his on Sousuke’s chest and threw an arm around over his chest, satisfied smile on his face. He wanted to stay like this forever.

*

In the morning they ate breakfast, when they received a call that they will be picked up later. Tired of sitting in one room, Rin feeling a little sore not letting them explore their new entertainment, they went out even thought they shouldn’t had.

They bought travelling bags and clothes for themselves, not in a hurry.

Rin now noticed the difference in Sousuke. He had problems keeping his hands to himself, he was trying to touch Rin one way or another, clearly not having enough. Rin did not notice how much he was restraining himself since he told him he wants to wait, but he could see it now.

He laughed quietly when Sousuke made an annoyed noise as his phone rang, forcing him to take his hands off Rin’s hips.

“Yes?”

“Hey, I am waiting outside.”

“We’re coming!” Sousuke turned to look at Rin as he put the phone back in his pocket. “Come on, let’s go.”

They walked out relaxed but Sousuke stood abruptly when he noticed Isao standing by the car, no one else by his side.

“Where is dad?” he asked quickly. “I thought you’re both…”

“Get inside, I will explain.” Isao opened the door and they quickly sat inside. Rin put his hand on Sousuke’s knee, seeing him looking at Isao with fear in his eyes.

Rin wondered how many times he was going to have the same look in his eyes. Waiting at home, unable to fall asleep because Sousuke would be out doing something dangerous. Sitting, starring at his phone because he was supposed to come back a few hours earlier. How many times Sousuke went through something like that, alone? He feared Takeshi’s death, too… just not exactly for the same reason as Sousuke, as selfish as it sounded.

“Your dad is at a hospital, but…” Isao quickly lifted his hand to stop Sousuke from saying anything. “He is fine, we’re going to pick him up from there.”

Rin relaxed.

“Why is he at a hospital?” Sousuke still seemed worried.

“We have encountered Nanase yesterday.” Isao sighed as he turned on the engine and then started driving towards the hospital. “He shot your dad in the knee.”

“WHAT!”

Rin circled his wrist, trying to calm him down. Sousuke quickly switched from fear to anger, his hands curling into fists.

“And why no one informed me about that!” he added angrily.

“Your father was fine, he told me to not contact you.”

Sousuke sat back, mouth in a thin line as he starred out of the window. Rin noticed Isao’s smile in the mirror. He was curious about the relationship Isao had with Takeshi and Sousuke. To him it looked like there was something going on between Takeshi and Isao, but since Sousuke was not talking about it, he did not either. It was not his business. Besides, what did he know? Close friends always give a vibe that there might be something going on between them, does not mean there actually is.

They stayed quiet until they reached the hospital. Rin noticed Takeshi sitting on a bench, two crutches in his hand, hurt leg stretched out in front of him. They quickly walked out, Sousuke first to ask him if he was feeling okay. Takeshi looked pale and winced when Isao helped him stand, but he dismissed Sousuke’s concern, like nothing happened. Sousuke bit his tongue and moved out of the way.

It was a little sad to watch, but so typical of them. Both cannot hide concern of each other, but the confronted one always acts like nothing happened.

If you’d ask Rin, they both deserved a slap for this stupid attitude.

“So, how it happened?” asked Sousuke in a detached voice.

Rin sighed quietly to himself.

“Someone either gave out the info, or they found out somehow else, and showed up when we were transporting drugs from the ships. Bastard of course looked for me and shot me, no one else would.” To Rin’s surprise he did not sound angry, as he expected.

Isao looked at Takeshi confused. “Are you tired, sick, or drugged?”

“What?”

“This is the first time in my entire life that I heard you talking so calmly about Nanase, shouldn’t you be going through your sixth death threat by now?”

“Very funny,” he hissed and turned his head away. After a few quiet moments he added: “I told them we’re going on a trip so they gave me more painkillers. I’m a little off, leave me alone. I will plan murder later.”

Isao laughed.


	21. Caribbean Sea and more games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is one thing impressing your parents, it is another thing living to impress your parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for @ion4ever and @nguyenphongxiii who are the best and drew me those, for the upcoming The Dark Arts:  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/110919885877/ion4ever-death-eater-sousuke-for-nightcloak-and  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/110912237207/nguyenphongxiii-for-the-dark-arts-by-nightcloak
> 
> Thank you so much!

The rest of the journey was quiet, Takeshi fell asleep dizzy from the painkillers, Sousuke was not keen on talking since he dissed him. Rin looked out of the window, curiously peeking at their surroundings. He wasn’t even sure where they were going. To the airport? Or straight on the yacht?

He should have asked Sousuke but the last days were so crazy he lost the touch with reality a little.

*

Sousuke starred at the trees, quickly disappearing form the view as the car drove fast. His father should get an award for making him feel insecure. Sousuke was probably taking all of his words too seriously, but he could not help it. He was constantly trying to be just like his father wanted him to be, not caring about people telling him to stop it. He knew it probably wasn’t wise, but this is what he wanted.

He wanted to make him proud. He wanted to see him proud of him, not just telling him he is.

Whenever his father showed him his real face, if that was the real face in the first place, soon after Sousuke felt like Takeshi was regretting it and so quickly backtracking.

If they could not be a real, sincere family, if his father seriously did not want to be a family with him, then he at least wanted to be appreciated as his… employer.

Sousuke was so confused by his father’s moods that he wasn’t sure at which point he was overreacting now. Was it stupid to take his reaction so seriously now? When it wasn’t?

He jumped a little when he felt a smaller hand grasping his and he turned his head to look at Rin who smiled at him.

Sousuke smiled back, tightening his hand around Rin’s a little.

*

“Are you seriously going on a plane and then yacht in those… shoes?” Isao sighed seeing Kisumi in high heels, shorts and a loose shirt.

They were standing on the small airport, that Rin realised had to be private. They gave their passports to some guy, did not even go through proper procedure. The black plane had massive “Yamazaki” written in gold on the side. Apparently Yamazakis weren’t finished with surprising him yet.

He watched curiously as more and more cars arrived. All brand new, all best brands. He recognised some of the men he saw earlier, that Sousuke told him about, there were wives and sons, too. The guys Sousuke told him are supposed to create a group with him. Akira waved to them when he saw them as he took his and his girlfriend’s bag out of the car and gave to the men that were putting their baggage inside the plane. He then took her in his arms and they danced like idiots, laughing. Obviously very happy about upcoming holiday. She seemed to be as much fun as Akira.

Takeshi was still sat in the car with the door open, legs out, as Isao took care of the paperwork. Other guys soon gathered around, some aware of what happened, some not. To Rin’s surprise they mostly joked at him, resulting in Takeshi keeping his middle finger up most of the time. It seemed they all turned their holiday-mode on already. He shook hands with the sons, finding out their names; Nobu’s son was named Hinata, Iwao’s Katashi, and Kin’s Ryo.

“I should have taken different shoes, but don’t tell dad.” Kisumi winced, finally deciding to hang on Sousuke when Isao went for their passports.

Takeshi snorted.

“Aww, your future wife is coming.” Kisumi said suddenly, making Sousuke focus since he starred at his phone for the past few minutes, not even reacting when Kisumi hung on him.

They all looked towards the entrance where a car drove in. Rin crossed his arms over his chest.

“You prepared a wedding yet?” Akira laughed.

“Leave him alone.” His girlfriend slapped his arm.

Sousuke sighed and focused on his phone again, not interested.

“Oh, shit, fuck.” Kisumi straightened up.

Rin’s eyebrows rose when he saw the girl coming out of the car.

She was beautiful.

“Someone made puberty their bitch.” Kisumi whistled.

“Told you she’s pretty.” Akira yawned.

Sousuke looked up and his eyes grew big quickly. Rin gritted his teeth. Tall blonde, big pretty eyes, nice white smile.

He kicked Sousuke in the shin when he saw him starring with his mouth open. Kisumi burst out laughing when Sousuke bend over with a whine. Rin’s cheek grew red seeing everybody starring at him, Sousuke with betrayal in his eyes, so he hissed at him, “What are you starring at?”

“I was just looking!”

“Too long!”

Kisumi sat on the asphalt, tears running down his cheeks but he quickly wiped them and stood up when the Kimuras made their way towards them.

They quickly said their hellos, the man shaking hands with Takeshi. Rin quickly started feeling like an idiot when the girl just smiled at them, nothing else. Maybe it really was only her parents who tried pushing this marriage, the girl did not want anything after all?

Something flipped in his stomach when her father, who quickly came back from where Isao was after he handed in their passports, not so subtly pushed her to stand by Sousuke and they looked at each other, sorry in their eyes. It was so stupid to be jealous, seeing them both not being interested, but Rin was a jealous person and he could not help it. He already had Kisumi hanging on Sousuke, he wasn’t so sure anymore if out of pain or wanting to help Sousuke or trying to steal him from Rin.

He really was being pathetic about this situation.

Stop it, Rin.

“Alright, we can go.” Isao showed up, and after a nod to Kimuras he helped Takeshi stand up.

They all made their way to the airplane, Rin glanced at the cars as they were driven away by some men who showed up. The plane was nice inside, created more like a living room with creamy leather sits, a lot of space for legs, and there were also sofas in the back, facing each other. A bar was at the end.

They sat comfortably, adults at the end and them on the sits in the front. Rin noticed none of the guys were keen on talking. Sousuke was still glued to his phone, now making him curious, Hinata, Katashi, and Ryo were either busy with games or phones, too, and Kisumi was massaging his feet. He felt a little sorry for the girl who had not a single girl to chat with. Or even be silent with.

He nudged Sousuke’s arm.

“Sorry,” he whispered. Rin peeked when Sousuke turned his phone to let him see who he was texting.

Yori.

“Something happened?” he asked quietly.

“She found out we’re leaving,” he murmured. “She’s asking what’s going on.”

“Is there anything going on?”

“Didn’t you figure out yet?” Sousuke smiled. “Dad is sending the killers out to attack Florist and his family in revenge. This is why we’re leaving. So the blame won’t be on us.”

“Why Yori cares?”

“She’s with Florist’s son.”

Rin sat back. Of course. Now it all made sense.

“You’re not telling her that, are you?”

“Of course not.” Sousuke snorted. “I’m not a fool. But she knows herself, anyway. Father knew they would most likely find out. It does not matter. They cannot hide.”

Rin looked at him, a little chill going down his spine.

“What about Yori?”

“They were told to leave her alone.” Sousuke bit his lip. “I’m dissing her questions, but obviously she’s keeping on asking. You know…” He hid the phone in his pocket. “Father always told us to believe the instinct. I hope she remembers that, even though she turned her back on us.”

“I thought you’re helping her.” Rin was a little confused, seeing Sousuke calling his sister a traitor. Wasn’t he meeting with her behind everybody’s back not that long ago?

“She’s my sister. But she’s also a traitor.” He shrugged, like he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do himself.

Rin knew how it felt doing everything for your own father. He went far to fulfil his father’s dream. He ended up badly because nothing else mattered to him. You cannot live just to make someone happy. You cannot just live for someone. You need to live for yourself. You need to make yourself happy in the first place, or you will get worse and worse until you’re so deep into being someone who you do not even know, that there’s just despair.

It is one thing impressing your parents, it is another thing living to impress your parents.

He wasn’t sure which beliefs Sousuke really shared with his father, which were put in his head since the beginning until he believed in them, and which he hated but he felt awful trying to go against his own father.

His sister was a perfect example of him beating himself up. There was Sousuke, the one who would never go against his father, hissing ‘traitor’ at a sister who dared to say ‘no’. There was Sousuke who starred at his own hands, worry on his face, still calling her a ‘sister’.

There was Sousuke, easily handling a gun, there was Sousuke getting upset when his father dissed him.

It was so easy to upset him through his father, that it was making Rin sad. Sousuke wanted to impress his father, be seen as someone important, so badly that whenever there was a little miscommunication he was taking it all too seriously and blaming himself.

Rin needed to talk with him about it, when they will find a little privacy.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure everything will be fine.” He kissed his cheek, making Sousuke finally smile. Sousuke brought his arm around him and they snuggled together, closing their eyes as the plane took off.

*

Caribbean Sea.

Rin could stay here forever.

The yacht was painted in a similar fashion to the plane, black with gold writing. Rin was starting to feel more and more comfortable with all the guys on it, who seemed so normal, just talking with each other about the most mundane stuff, laughing and joking. They were similar age, so most still at school, all with some passions. They were eating meals together, swimming, dancing. Most of the time adults were at the top of the yacht, leaving their children alone so they could talk about whatever they wanted. Rin grew to learn Hinata, Katashi, and Ryo. Even Akemi seemed nice, the girl was a part of the group, no one treated her differently. But he was careful with her.

Rin wondered if her parents gave up, or she completely rebelled.

The only bittersweet moment was when Ryo accidently blurted out how Sousuke looks a lot better than when he saw him the last time. He tried to lighten up the situation by comparing him to a “twink” which ended up with Sousuke throwing him into the sea. They laughed and changed the topic quickly but Rin noticed how Sousuke backed away from the conversation.

The memories clearly still hurt.

*

The sun was setting when Rin walked out of the cabin to look for Sousuke who left their room awhile ago to talk with someone on the phone. When he noticed him still talking on the side, he went to the front. His hands grasped the railing, breathing in the fresh air. The sky was pink and orange, sun kissing the sea.

“Hey, there.” He jumped a little startled when he heard Akemi’s voice.

“Hey.” At least his voice sounded normal. According to Kisumi, who teased and laughed at him since the beginning of the journey, he sounded ready to bite her.

“Where did you lose Sousuke?” She smiled, and he could sense a little bit of sarcasm in her voice. Since he was told he is overreacting he told himself that anything that was off about her was just his imagination but he really did not think so anymore.

“Why, do you want something from him?” he asked back, forcing himself to smile.

She just laughed but did not go away.

“Are you two a couple?”

Now he looked at her like she’s dumb. “Isn’t it obvious?”

She shrugged. “You’re not the first guy or girl that sat on his lap in front of everybody. In this case, Sousuke had lots of girlfriends and boyfriends.”

Outch.

“Well, we’re serious.” He finally said through gritted teeth.

They never talked about Sousuke’s past boyfriends and girlfriends. He didn’t want to know, Sousuke didn’t want to talk. It did not matter. He could do whatever he wanted before they became a couple.

“Yeah, yeah.” She was still smiling.

“It’s not your business anyway, is it?” Rin cocked an eyebrow.

“Well, since we’re supposed to marry…” She sighed theatrically.

Rin snorted. Bitch wanted to make him flip? He already knew about this bullshit, sorry, love!

He knew she was as fake as her leather jacket.

“Unfortunately not all of our dreams come true, do they?” He could not help the sarcasm colouring his voice.

She smiled even brighter. “I don’t need to dream when my father already discusses the arrangements with Sousuke’s father, do I?” She laughed seeing his face and walked away.

Rin stood in one place, watching her back until she disappeared from his view. No, Takeshi would never do that. He would not do this to Sousuke. Besides, what would be the point? It would be advantageous to Kimuras, but Yamazakis did not need such arrangements for anything!

Or did they?

Did Sousuke know? Maybe he did? Maybe he was ok with it? Maybe he did like her after all?

WHY HE DID NOT SAY ANYTHING?!

“Hey.” Rin felt strong arms slipping around him as Sousuke stood behind him and kissed his neck. “What’s wrong?” He had to notice Rin’s stiff posture.

“Were you planning to tell me that you’re marrying her after all or not?”

“What?” Sousuke took a step back surprised and then turned him so Rin would face him. “What are you talking about?”

“She told me your father and her are arranging a wedding for you two already. I asked if you were planning to tell me about it anytime soon?”

Rin was so pissed he was moments from losing his cool and screaming.

“Rin, there is no wedding arrangement. I told you they want us to marry, but why the hell would my father agree? We do not need it! There would be no point! Come on, use your logic!” Sousuke put his arms on his shoulders. “You’re wiser than her, don’t let her manipulate you.” He smiled, clearly not bothered with the situation.

Rin turned away. If she was lying, then why? Sousuke being so relaxed about it did not calm him down, either.

He felt Sousuke’s arms tightening around him. “I’d never hurt you like that, Rin,” he whispered.

“I know you would not.” Rin faced him to kiss his lips. “But I do not trust your father.”

Father who Sousuke wanted to impress no matter what.


	22. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... are fragile things

Rin put his head on Sousuke’s shoulder, fingers slowly stroking his chest.

They were naked, calming down after making love. Sousuke was holding him close, hand big and strong on his back, breathing in his smell as pink hair tickled his nose.

“It’s your favourite place, huh?”

Rin opened his eyes lazily. “Hm?”

“I just noticed you always cuddle up like that. It’s like you can’t fall asleep if your head isn’t under my chin, one arm over my chest, and your leg between my legs.”

Rin lifted his head to look at him, starring mindlessly at the ceiling.

“You’re my favourite everything.”

Sousuke cocked his eyebrow at him, making Rin roll his eyes.

“Shut up, I can be cheesy with you if I want to. Be a good boyfriend and do not comment on it. And put that hand back on my bum.”

Sousuke laughed out loud and then kissed him on the lips, his hand squeezing Rin’s butt.

They fell asleep soon after, arms around each other.

*

Rin spread butter on his piece of bread, smiling to himself as fresh air brushed his hair back. They all always ate breakfast together around a round table and today was no different. Those were possibly the best moments of each day, apart from when they were swimming of course, because it was not very hot yet so it was a pure pleasure to sit outside.

Sousuke laughed that he should be used to hot temperatures after living in Australia but seeing Rin’s face he quickly changed the topic.

They made a silent agreement to not talk about Australia.

Rin realised it will always upset him. No matter what Sousuke would say.

So they decided to erase Australia from the map and memories.

Spending full days with those people made Rin realise one thing.

Nothing was too bizarre.

“Where did you lose Takeshi and Isao?” Akira sat by Rin, smiling wide as usual. He asked guys sitting opposite to them, but Rin lifted his head curious, too.

Maybe he wasn’t the only one making up theories about these two since the beginning. He could not help it, especially with so much time on his hands. There was something about Takeshi and Isao that gave him a vibe since the beginning.

It wasn’t so obvious, though. When in school couples tried to “hide” for whatever reason, most of the time a stupid one, everybody knew after five minutes anyway. Takeshi and Isao seemed simply best friends. If they have spent years together, both working and being best friends, maybe that was the reason for them looking like a couple. But there was something that did not let Rin drop the idea that maybe, just maybe, there was something between them.

“Akira,” Nobu eyed him, no smile on his face. “Drop this subject. It was funny at the beginning, now you’re asking for trouble. Besides can’t you tell they’re with Kimuras,” he sighed.

Now Rin was even more interested. He quickly looked at Sousuke but he did not seem to care about the conversation. Neither Kisumi, who was snoring with his head on the table.

“Chill, Nobu, I’m just joking!” Akira laughed.

“Keep your jokes to yourself for a few more months then, or you’re going to put Isao in trouble and then you’re going to have Takeshi wanting to snap your neck.”

Akira rolled his eyes but got quiet.

“Shit, yeah, there are only a few months until your birthday, where’s my invitation?” Sousuke shook Kisumi’s arm.

“My birthday!” Kisumi quickly lifted his head and blinked tiredly. “What?”

“Where’s my invitation?”

“Well…” Kisumi brushed his fingers through his hair and straightened up, clearly a conversation about his birthday woke him up swiftly. “I was thinking about it but since we figured out that my birthday will be as important to me as to my dad, I’ve decided to make it even bigger.”

“You mean you’re also inviting all the old fucks.” Sousuke grinned.

“Hey you little shit!” Kin threw a piece of pineapple at him.

Sousuke snorted.

“I’m so confused.” Ryo looked at his father but he just lifted his hands up.

“I’m not saying anything without Takeshi and Isao here.”

“Are they together?” Rin asked Sousuke. If everybody was talking about it, the boys clearly as curious as him, then he will try his chance. In the worst case he will get laughed at.

Or killed.

“Nah it’s not that good.” Kisumi answered instead of Sousuke, sounding disappointed.

Sousuke shook his head, trying to not laugh.

“Basically…” He faced Rin. “Isao and Emi, his wife, are married on contract. And this contract ends on Kisumi’s eighteen birthday.”

“Isao has a wife?” Katashi asked surprised.

Kisumi rolled his eyes.

“Mom and Dad were always weird but for awhile I assumed it is because they both travel so much. And I was mostly in school anyway so did not want to jump to conclusions since I saw them so little. But since I came back… Well turns out they are seriously on contract and this travelling is simply my dad running to Takeshi and mom running to her lovers.” Kisumi did not seem bothered, instead excited which surprised Rin.

“We started suspecting things when we heard of arranged marriages for the first time and Kisumi finally asked Isao and he told him that, yep, it is all bullshit.” Sousuke explained.

“Who would have thought.” Kisumi laughed. “And I thought my dad is the most innocent out of all of you.” He pointed at Nobu and others.

“Your father is Takeshi’s right hand man and you call him innocent?” Iwao cocked his eyebrow, the bruises on his cheeks prominent in the sun. “I sometimes have an urge to tell them the shit their fathers did since they were teenagers, to be fair.” He faced his friends who shared a knowing smirk, whatever they had on their minds.

“It’s not nice to tease.” Sousuke made an annoyed face.

“Who is teasing who?”

Rin jumped a little when Takeshi and Isao with Kimuras showed up. Like always, arm to arm, other guys behind them.

So, Isao was in an arranged marriage. Why? According to Sousuke, Shiginos were always Yamazakis’ bodyguards and Isao was also Takeshi’s equal – so there was no point for such marriage from the money or power side. Rin’s first thought was that he had to cover his relationship with Takeshi, it would not surprise him if homosexual relationships weren’t taken well when it came to bosses of Yakuza, but then he and Sousuke never faced any problems. It’s been seventeen, nearly eighteen years, though. But it would explain why people who worked for Takeshi were open-minded.

Come to think of it, he never asked Sousuke how he came out to Takeshi.

Perhaps he was thinking too much about all of this. He needed a better hobby than investing his time in making up theories about his boyfriend’s father who also happened to be mafia’s boss.

But he found it hard to believe that someone who wanted revenge for his wife’s death this badly he was nearly insane over it could not really love her.

Maybe it was only about Isao then? Covering being gay? What else?

He did look differently at Takeshi.

They grabbed chairs, and sat themselves between Sousuke and Kisumi as Kirumas sat on the other end of the table.

“Just gossiping about you two, no big deal.” Sousuke answered honestly.

“Twenty years later and I am still the most interesting gossip material.” Takeshi stretched his leg out with a wince. “When I’m done with that piece of shit…”

“He will kill himself,” murmured Isao more to himself than anyone.

“Huh?” Takeshi starred at him.

“If you’d want to kill him you’d kill him ages ago, you want him to go insane so he will kill himself.” Isao was clicking something on his phone, not noticing the silence around the table as everybody starred at him.

“You got owned.” Akira started laughing seeing Takeshi’s gobsmacked face.

It was moments like those, Rin thought, when he saw Takeshi and Isao just sharing a look without saying anything, sometimes there was also a little smile. Sharing a secret only they knew.

He really needed a new hobby.

“My birthday.” Kisumi reminded everybody, nudging his father with his head. Isao smiled at him, putting his phone away. “I have a plan.”

“How much money it involves?” Isao asked.

Takeshi snorted.

“The point is,” Kisumi ignored the question. “That I want to make it a massive party for all of us, so we can celebrate yours and mom’s freedom, too!”

Isao looked around quickly. “Didn’t I tell you to keep quiet about this when I’ve told you?”

“Whatever, everybody knew anyway.” Kisumi waved his hand dismissively, ignoring Isao’s annoyed sigh. “Maybe we should go on holiday somewhere? Or at least do a massive party only for our people in the club! If you don’t want everybody to know then we can pretend it’s just for my birthday!”

“Since we’re mentioning who knows, it better stay between us, alright?” Isao smiled at them but there was a clear threat behind it. It was probably the first time Rin saw the man a little angry.

“Are there some good concerts around that time?” Takeshi took a cup of coffee and sat more comfortably.

“Concerts?” Isao looked at him confused and then understanding lightened up his face. “I can’t believe you remember that.”

Takeshi smirked and tapped his finger on his temple.

Sousuke and Kisumi shared a look and then said together: “What concert?”

“I promised him a concert when the contract will end.” Takeshi shrugged.

“Very classy, dad. Eighteen years of marriage for one concert.” Sousuke nodded pretending to be serious.

“We were fifteen, stop judging.”

“We were supposed to see Michael Jackson.” Isao pointed a finger at Sousuke. “It’s not just a concert.”

“Sucks to be you two, then.”

“From everything he inherited after you I wish he did not inherit being an asshole.” Isao faced Takeshi who laughed.

Rin smiled a little looking at them. It was difficult to remember who these people really were when they were acting like a family joking about mundane stuff. While he had his moments when he was a little jealous of the relationship Sousuke had with Kisumi, obviously they were close and understood each other well and shared secrets, especially those to do with their parents, they acted more like siblings to him. Even if there was something romantic between them earlier, Sousuke obviously loved Rin.

Trust grows over days, weeks, months. Sousuke proved to him enough that he loves him. Not through words, but through actions.

And this was most important.

“I thought the contract was for forever,” Masaru, Akemi’s father noticed.

“Then I’d never agree on it.” Isao cringed.

“Hey you said mom is great,” said Kisumi.

“Of course she is. We love and respect each other and we were lucky to end up together because trust me, most arranged marriages are awful because people do not try to help each other, but it does not change the fact that pretending 24/7 is a pain.” Isao shrugged. Clearly used to it, but wanted his freedom finally.

Rin could not blame him. Even if he had a nice relationship with Kisumi’s mom, even if he was lucky enough to arrange this relationship with her so it was comfortable for them both…

He wondered about Akemi who wanted this. And her parents. Living in a lie for such a long time just for money? Rin wasn’t a fool, he knew contacts and money were important, but were they worth this much?

Isao and Emi were lucky to like each other, but Akemi and her parents knew that Sousuke and his father were against it and Sousuke won’t love her. Yet she wanted to suffocate in a relationship with someone who would never respect and love her?

Sousuke wasn’t evil, he would not treat her badly, but he already treated her like air. Who would want something like that?

He wondered why Isao signed a contract in the first place, but it wasn’t his business to ask.

“You still did not tell why you signed this contract in the first place.” Kisumi grinned; clearly hoping to caught his father out so he’d spill the beans.

Luckily Kisumi was more curious than Rin.

“And I’ve told you I will tell you on your birthday.” Isao shook his head.

“Oh come on…”

Rin snorted when Kisumi whined and then out of nowhere sat on Isao’s lap who caught him surprised.

“Daaaad.”

“This is what I get for an arranged marriage.” Isao made a face of pretended disgust.

Kisumi’s chin shook and Takeshi started laughing when Isao growled and let Kisumi stay on his lap.

“You all are fucked in the heads.” Iwao concluded the conversation.

Isao showed him a middle finger.

Rin brushed his fingers through Sousuke’s hair when he slid down the sit laughing at his… family.

Rin considered them a family at this point. Not a normal family, but a family nevertheless. Sousuke and Kisumi acted like brothers, taking the piss out of each other and kicking each other. Isao and Takeshi just shook heads seeing them but there was a smile on both faces.

Isao with Kisumi on his lap who made him laugh making the biggest pouty face, Takeshi slapping Sousuke’s hand away when he started annoying him, pinching him with a fork when Takeshi winced moving his leg again.

Yakuza boss with his shot leg slapping his son for taking the piss out of him, his right hand man with an overgrown baby on his lap…

They weren’t normal. They were so far from normal.

But…

Rin hugged Sousuke around his shoulders and put his chin on his arm, watching them with Sousuke. Rin smiled when Sousuke turned his head to kiss his cheek.

It was so clear they would all do everything for each other.

Love is love, no matter who you are. Living the lives they do make them appreciate each other even more.

*

“Did you get any information yet?” asked Kin.

Takeshi looked at him. “No, not really.”

“Anyway, did you send anyone at Nanase? I find it hard to believe we’re all here just because of Florist.” Iwao side-eyed him.

“Of course I have, he shot me in the leg. We will see who gets a bullet, though, I told them to shoot the one who will be closest.”

“I thought we’re going to kill them.” Sousuke made a face.

Rin tried to ignore how easily they talked about shooting people. Especially those he knew.

“Give it time, Sousuke.” Takeshi sipped his coffee, smirk on his face. “They’re not supposed to kill them.”

“Look at him, a few years ago he was hiding behind his father and now pouts because he can’t kill one fucker.” Iwao pointed his fork at Sousuke.

“When was I hiding behind dad?” Sousuke made a little ‘pff’ noise.

“Well once your grandma died and he had to take care of you he had to take you to a few meetings at the beginning before we figured out babysitting and shit.”

Sousuke blinked, looking confused. Rin noticed how Takeshi straightened up and quickly exchanged a look with Isao.

“Grandma was taking care of me?”

“You don’t remember? You were six when…”

“IWAO.” Takeshi snapped and the man paled, realising he had to say something wrong. Others looked as confused.

It became silent, people surprised with Takeshi’s outburst. Only Isao looked like he knew what was going on but he did not know what to do either.

“Why I don’t remember grandma taking care of me?” Sousuke asked quietly, facing Takeshi.

It was the first time Rin saw Takeshi speechless. He paled as everybody looked at him and slid down the sit in defeat.

“Dad?”

Rin’s arms tightened around Sousuke’s shoulders hearing his voice. Sousuke looked like he’d start panicking in a moment, searching for answers but whenever he looked at the older guys they looked away, clearly embarrassed and not wanting to be involved.

Rin felt unsure, too. He knew Sousuke was in his grandmother’s care. He found out in school by accident.

Why Sousuke did not remember anything?


	23. Fragility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We all make mistakes. Which are forgivable?

The silence was awkward when Takeshi finally stood up and showed Sousuke to go after him. Isao made an unsure move asking whether to go after them, but Takeshi shook his head.

When they left, Isao sighed in defeat.

“What the fuck?” Iwao whispered. “How is it possible he does not remember anything? And it did not bother him?”

“He assumed he was always with Takeshi, as every child would. Do you think about things you did when you were less than six?” Isao shrugged, but he seemed upset about something, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

“What happened to Sousuke?” Kisumi asked, but instead of the typical curiosity there was mainly worry in his voice. “Was he hurt? Had an accident? Did his grandma…”

“Kisumi.” Isao stopped him. “He will tell you if he will wish to. It’s not my story to tell.”

“Ugh, I hate secrets.” Kisumi made a face and sat on his sit.

*

“Sit down.”

Takeshi showed him the bed in his room and sat himself on the table, after getting a drink out of the bar.

Sousuke did not say anything, just did as told. He did not even know what to feel.

He was starting to get worried.

What the hell happened to him?

“I… I tried to take care of you after your mom died.” Takeshi’s eyes were on the alcohol he poured in the glass. “But I could not. You were reminding me too much of her, I wanted revenge, I was blaming myself, I wanted to become the boss… So you ended up with your grandma who I knew would take better care of you than me.”

“Did you blame me?” Sousuke asked quietly.

Takeshi lifted his head quickly. “No.” He said it clearly. “I never blamed you for anything. I was selfish and could not deal with what happened. You were better off with your grandmother.”

“Why I do not remember any of it then?”

Takeshi swallowed. He was facing a situation he hoped that would never happen.

“You know I’m far from being a good father…”

“Dad, just tell me what you did.”

Takeshi was silent.

“DAD.”

“My father always wanted me to be the strictest, coldest, most ruthless guy.” Takeshi felt like poison was filling his mouth, his hands tight around the glass. “And I always fought against it. When your mom died, I knew it was my fault. Because I was so careless, because I was so naïve, thinking only love matters. Heh.” He closed his eyes. “I’ve realised that if I were like my father, your mom would never die. We’d still be a happy family. So when I got you back, I wanted to… train you, so you would never get hurt.”

“Into what?” Sousuke did not move.

“The man your grandfather expected me to be in order to survive. I finally trusted this was the way to go. I changed myself, I did not want to let you make my mistakes. I did not hug you, I did not help you… I wanted to make you cold so you won’t ever suffer. Of course Isao noticed how insane I got and tried to stop it. He gave you all the hugs and love you needed.” Takeshi smiled sadly. “I saw you two once, after I had a fight with Isao where I told him to stop it. I got angry, so angry… I completely broke and lost control then, taking it all out on you…”

Sousuke watched him struggling, telling him all of it. He did not know what to do.

“What do you mean?” He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know.

“I started shouting like an idiot, you got really scared and panicked… Of course you did, I was abusing you for weeks before that. Your grandma died, you needed love, but you ended up with someone you barely knew and I treated you so badly, confusing and hurting you. Isao took you away then, right after punching me in the face as hard as he could… The doctors said you might forget everything. And you did. You were like a little lost lamb later, hiding from me, from everybody. You stopped talking, you had nightmares… you only got better when you started going to school and you’ve met Rin who made you open to the world again. I was gone most of the time, not wanting to hurt you even more. Then you got sick… You know that’s when I finally realised what’s important… I… Sousuke, I never told you anything not because I wanted to pretend I was a good father, you know I wasn’t without knowing this, but because I was worried you will panic. It wasn’t about lying to you… But then… our relationship was already so fragile that bringing this up would ruin everything, too, and…” He stopped seeing Sousuke shaking his head.

“It’s alright,” Sousuke murmured, eyes casted down. “We all make mistakes. You did not do it out of hatred, well not to me at least.”

What was he supposed to feel? Anger? Betrayal? His father made him lose his memory, he psychically abused him that much. He did not do it because he was awful. He did it because he was feeling as lost as Sousuke probably never did. Or at least he could hardly remember.

He did not look up from his hands when he felt Takeshi sitting by his side.

“There is no excuse for what I did to you when you were little.” Takeshi whispered. “None. Don’t excuse me. No matter what I was thinking, no matter if I thought I’m doing the right thing, abuse is abuse. I won’t ever forget that. But I am so sorry, Sousuke. So damn sorry. I know you deserve a normal family, I know I won’t ever be what you need but… I am trying.” He put his face in his hands, tugging at his hair.

Sousuke looked at him. It was the first time he saw his father this sincere. How could he be angry when he saw him struggling so much? Did he feel like Sousuke felt sometimes?

His father tried to be what others wanted him to be. He thought he made a mistake choosing his own path, so he turned into someone his own father would be proud of in the act of guilt.

Sousuke tried to impress Takeshi since the beginning. His father was obviously stronger and rebelled for years before he broke. Sousuke did not want to rebel, though. He wanted to follow this man.

He wasn’t sure what his choices would be if Takeshi was still the cruel father. It scared him a little that they would be most likely the same.

“What about mom’s family? You never talked about them, I did not want to ask…”

“They never liked me knowing who I am so when she died because of me they obviously did not want any contact after that.” He shrugged tiredly. “I saw them on the funeral for the last time.”

Sousuke looked at his hands. They sat for awhile in silence.

“I will keep it to myself. I won’t even tell Rin.”

“You don’t need to keep this secret away from him.”

“It’s okay.” Sousuke nodded more to himself than him. “Everything is ok, dad. Don’t worry about it.” He smiled and patted his hands. “I will get some fresh air.” He stood up and after smiling reassuringly again, he left.

Takeshi watched him, not remembering the last time he felt so… unconfident.

*

“Sousuke?”

They were in the back of the yacht, away from everybody. Sousuke did not come back to the table so after awhile Rin started looking for him.

Sousuke smiled at him from where he was sitting, arms around his knees. He looked lost.

“Do you need anything?” Rin slowly kneeled by him.

He shook his head.

Rin did not want to push him, but he worried seeing him starring blindly at the sea.

“Come here.” Sousuke pulled Rin by hand until he ended up in his arms. Sousuke smiled softly and hugged him.

Rin leaned on his chest, Sousuke’s forehead pressed to his shoulder. He turned a little so he could tug his hair, making Sousuke look at him.

“I’m here for you.”

He seemed sad. “Could you promise me something, Rin?”

“Of course,” he responded surprised.

“If I will ever start acting differently…” he began quietly, eyes on the sea. “If I will treat you badly, if I will do anything that you won’t like, please tell me, okay? And if I will ever hurt you, if you will tell me I am doing something wrong and I won’t change, leave me. Leave me and never come back to me, no matter what I would do.” He choked a little.

“Sousuke, what the hell are you talking about?” Rin turned to look at him properly. “What did your father tell you?”

“Please just promise me that,” he whispered.

“I trust you, you would never intentionally hurt me, Sousuke.” Rin shook his head. What the hell was going on?

“Exactly. Not intentionally. But if I ever…”

“Then we’re going to talk.” Rin put his hand on his cheek. “This is what couples do. Resolve their problems!”

“No. If I will ever lose it then just leave me, Rin!”

Rin shook his head and turned away from Sousuke. What was this about? He found out and accepted so many things, the mafia, the fights, the killing… and now this? Good lord if his mother heard what Sousuke just said she’d tell him to run.

Sousuke was making him feel so unsure all the time…

“I want to know what brought this up.” Rin grind his teeth together.

Sousuke closed his eyes. “I just realised there is something about us… my family. Call it whatever you want, we just… we’re not normal. I am too selfish to tell you to leave me already…”

“Sousuke…”

“But if I will do something wrong please leave and don’t look back.”

Rin could not believe they were having this conversation.

“Sousuke.” He placed the palm of his hands on his cheeks. “I don’t know what your father said to you to think all of this, but you choose who you want to be.”

“Rin, I’d do everything for you.” He placed his finger under his chin so they finally looked each other in the eye. “I want you to be the happiest person on earth. You deserve the best. I love you so much…”

“Sousuke…”

“This is why I am honest with you. There is something wrong. I know there is something wrong. If I will ever snap, you have to leave. Do you understand?” He grasped his shoulders.

Rin starred at him not saying anything.

“RIN.”

“Okay,” he whispered. “Okay.”

Sousuke sighed and stroked his cheek, trying to smile in relief. “Thank you.”

*

Isao walked slowly inside Takeshi’s bedroom. Takeshi was sitting on the floor, in front of the big bed covered in black satin.

Black, Takeshi’s favourite colour.

The man always loved luxury. Isao could remember when they were so young, throwing money into whatever they wanted. Parties, cars, holidays. They always had everything, living what seemed a fairytale life. Maybe they were living so quickly, rebelling, because deep inside they knew that it would end sooner rather than later. Takeshi was only nineteen when he lost Umiko, and with her, himself.

Years of abuse by his father could not just disappear. Isao knew that one day he might snap, being told over and over again who to be, how to act, what his father expects of him.

And when everything went to hell it happened in the worst way.

Of course he blamed himself for Umiko’s death. Of course he fixated on the idea that if he were just like his father wanted him to be then he would never lose her.

Of course he broke, of course he lost it then and became a machine with no emotions.

And of course Sousuke suffered for it and Takeshi with him.

Isao sat by him without saying anything. He put his hand on Takeshi’s back, the touch light, just letting him know he is there for him.

Takeshi was such an enigma to everybody, that it always made him feel a certain satisfaction that out of everybody he knew him so well. Even though he sometimes wished he did not.

Both Takeshi and Sousuke were probably the most self-destructive people he knew. Sometimes it hurt being with such people but he loved them too much to leave out of selfishness.

He smiled when Takeshi leaned on him. “Did he take it well?” Isao’s fingers slowly brushed through his hair, down his neck.

“Too well.”

“He’s a clever boy.”

“No. He just wants to be a pitch perfect son and it fucking terrifies me.”

Isao tugged at his hair a little. “Sousuke has Rin, Kisumi, us… Even if he is fragile, we won’t let him break. I am more worried about you.”

Takeshi turned his head to face him, Isao’s hand still in his hair. “Me?”

“I know you don’t just kill, but I think it would be better for everybody to end this as soon as possible. I mean Nanase. You still have Florist on your head, and now those idiots wanting Sousuke to marry their girl. You can’t do this to Sousuke.”

“I’m not planning to.” He shrugged. “Nanase is my play thing, I don’t want to get rid of him yet.”

“You know Sousuke will pay for your fun, right?”

“He’s a policeman, he can’t hurt him.”

“Takeshi, you’re not an idiot, stop pretending you are one. He will hurt him at the nearest opportunity, and there are many.” Isao’s voice got colder. “Kill the fucker off, and move on. Focus on Florist who is trying to kill your son and you.”

Takeshi grinded his teeth together. He knew Isao was right.

They were quiet for a moment.

“Why is he like that?” Takeshi asked quietly.

“Hm?”

“I hurt him, I’m so far from being good for him, why it is so important to him to make me proud? Why isn’t he rebelling like us?”

“We were rebelling because we were forced to be who we weren’t. Sousuke does not have our problems, he has different ones.”

“I am trying to not give him any.”

“Right, because being a son of Yakuza’s boss isn’t problematic at all,” he noticed sarcastically.

Takeshi sighed and slid down the floor more. “He cares too much.”

“You’re his only family, he cares about you and he wants to be everything you want to keep you by his side. Stop pushing him away, keeping him in the dark all the time, and he will stop being so insecure.”

“I’m not pushing him away.”

“Yes you are.”

“No I am not.”

Isao pushed him away, and Takeshi winced when it hurt his leg and he looked with betrayal in his eyes at Isao.

“You can be so stupid.” Isao shook his head and leaned on the bed comfortably, closing his eyes.

“And yet you’re still here.”

Isao snorted, and looked at him. “Apparently I have a thing for complete morons.”

*

“I don’t want to go back to Samezuka.” Rin stretched on his towel, and put his hands under his head. The sun burned his face.

Everybody was in the front of the yacht, sunbathing, having a BBQ. The sun was so strong Rin was pretty much throwing himself desperately into the sea every few minutes. Sousuke was laughing at him until he realised he burned his back. It was hilarious watching him hissing from pain.

“You need to go back to school,” murmured Sousuke in his towel, back covered with a shirt.

“What?”

“I know what’s going on in your head, I know you too well. You’re obsessing over my father’s and Isao’s relationship. You need something to fill your time.”

Rin opened his mouth and then closed it quickly, cheeks flushed. “I am not obsessing! I am just curious!”

“You’re literally starring at them 24/7.”

“That’s not true!”

“Yes it is.”

“I am just… appreciating their tattoos.”

Sousuke lifted his head. “You’re checking out my father? Gross.”

“You just had to make it sound worse than it was, didn’t you?” Rin made a face at him but snorted hearing his laugh.

It was difficult to not stare at them because they were like a walking art exhibition. Isao had a smaller tattoo, it was covering his right arm, a little of the back. It was full of colourful little elements and Rin had no chance to figure out if they meant anything or they were just little drawings. He could not even tell what it was exactly, but he was sure there was some writing, too.

Takeshi, thought, had his whole back and arms tattooed. Tattoos ended right on his wrists, explaining why Rin never saw them before. There were parts so small Rin could not figure them out either, but there was a massive dragon, sharp teeth, on his back. Beautifully detailed, clearly the tattoo was often renewed to be bright. And it was black. There were no colours on Takeshi.

He has noticed one thing, though.

They had a bird each. It was Isao’s biggest tattoo on his arm, so still relatively small, and Takeshi had the exact same one in the same place.

“What do you think those birds mean to them?” He asked Sousuke.

Sousuke seemed deep in thoughts for a moment and then finally replied, “Freedom, I think.”

“Freedom?”

“Birds are free. They were rebelling against rules but then they were forced to give up… sort of. I’d guess that’s when they did those. To show they’re always will be free, one way or another.”

Rin turned his head and took a good look at him. “Did you ever ask your father about his teenage years?”

“No, of course not. I might one day, though.”

They jumped a little when they heard a little cough behind them. Isao and Takeshi were standing right there.

“Done gossiping about us yet?”

Rin burned red but Sousuke shrugged. “I guess so. Unless you will give us more material.”

Smart ass. Rin was jealous of Sousuke’s reflex.

“Actually, we will.” Takeshi handed his son two thick albums. “I think it’s time to have a look at the past.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a good idea to read this side-story now ;)  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/2582285/chapters/5747642
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this long chapter! 
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments. They are really important to me, so please leave them :)


	24. Deadly flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.”  
> ― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

When Kisumi and others joined them, and they all sat together, Sousuke opened the first album.

It was a picture of the whole gang, around the age of sixteen. It was a funny picture because they looked so young yet tried to seem very serious, all dressed in suits, and aviators covering their eyes. Takeshi stood in the front, sure of himself like always but there was a cocky smile on his face.

Kids playing mafia, and they knew it.

Rin was surprised to find so many party pictures and the way they were dressed in them.

Knowing Takeshi he expected him to always look the strictest and well dressed, but he and Isao were like children trying to piss off their parents. When Sousuke saw his young father in shorts, thigh high shoes, hair pointing in all the possible directions, and dark make up on his face, he started laughing so hard that Takeshi ended up slapping his head. But all the pictures were like that.

Kisumi made Isao promise he won’t ever criticise his clothing again seeing what his father was capable of wearing. The amount of pictures of Takeshi and Isao dancing together, be it on some concert or in a club on strip poles was massive and they all just started laughing at them at some point. Takeshi was even singing on a few photos. It was clear he was loud and outgoing, loving attention, all the friends around him looking up to him. He was charming and he knew how to use it to his advantage.

He did not look like Sousuke at all then, Sousuke being all muscles and handsomeness; Takeshi was the pretty slim type. Rin could understand why the guys wanted Takeshi, even though he’d automatically choose a man like Sousuke instead.

“You looked gayer than any gay guy I know, dad.” Sousuke commented.

Isao snorted. “He acted gayer than any gay guy you know, too, probably.”

“I wasn’t acting gay.” Takeshi side-eyed them.

“When we needed a gay guy to flirt with another we were sending you, not actual… erm our gay friends.” Kin stuttered.

Isao sent him a harsh look.

“That’s because I was a good flirt. There’s a difference.” Takeshi looked pretty proud of himself, making Isao shake his head.

“No, you were just like a walking poster for the lgbt community.” Kin shrugged.

Sousuke and Kisumi started laughing.

“You were just jealous because I could work high heels and you could not.” Takeshi showed him a middle finger.

“I never said you weren’t pretty.” He shrugged again.

Silence. Kisumi covered his mouth trying to not let a laugh out.

“What the fuck.” Takeshi kicked Kin with his healthy leg.

“Dude.” Akira started laughing.

“What?” Kim lifted his hands in despair. “Everybody wanted to shag you, it wasn’t a secret.”

Sousuke coughed as loudly as possible and turned the page.

Rin could count on his hands the moments when they were sober. Those were the pictures with families, pretty faces, pretty expensive clothes, and even more expensive backgrounds. Pitch perfect, pretty sons during the day, rebels snogging each other faces off and pretty much undressed in shady clubs during the night.

There were pictures of Isao and Takeshi drunk kissing. Rin wasn’t sure what was better, the way Takeshi and Isao tried pretending it was nothing, or the way Kisumi squeaked and high fived with Sousuke. They laughed when Takeshi flipped the page for Sousuke shaking his head.

“Fucking knew it.” Kisumi pointed his finger at Takeshi. “But you have to stop being so scary and intimidating or I won’t approve of this relationship.”

“Don’t try me, kid.” Takeshi snapped at him.

Kisumi put his finger down.

“There is no relationship, that was when we were even younger than you, playing around.” Isao tugged at his son’s hair.

Kisumi let out a disappointed gasp.

“Yeah in our times when guys were snogging we were just going through puberty.” Kin tried to sound very serious but his chin shook.

Takeshi looked at his wife. “Would you cry a lot if he died?”

“Just a little.”

“Oi!”

Sousuke smiled. “How did you get away with all of this?”

“We used the fact that our parents were mostly away so we did whatever we wanted.” Takeshi shrugged.

“Basically we were grounded when they were back, and free when they were gone.” Isao added.

“So…” Sousuke flipped another page, the whole gang partying again but looking a little bit older, the clothing not so extravagant, Takeshi smiling bright with his arm around Isao, bottles of beer in their hands, cigarettes in their mouths. This was when they started looking more like the men Rin knew now. They still had a childish vibe coming from them, but they were both dressed appropriately, no make-up, and clearly started visiting the gym more often. “When did mom come in the picture?”

“In the next album.”

Isao laughed. “Your father completely changed for her so we had to close one era.” He took the album away from Sousuke and handed him the other one.

It was funny to see how they changed when women came in the picture. Suddenly the guys looked like from the magazines, backs straight, all proper. Rin smiled seeing Sousuke’s mom. She seemed fun and her pictures with Takeshi were adorable. What he noticed was that there were still a lot of pictures with Isao, whether it was her hugging him, partying together, or her bumping his and Takeshi’s heads together. Rin wondered if she knew about their past.

He wasn’t sure if Isao and Takeshi really were just playing around in the past, or there was always something between them. It was starting to look a little like Umiko stole Takeshi’s heart but it always belonged a little to Isao, even when Takeshi was with her, and then he assumed no one really stole Isao’s and it always fully belonged to Takeshi. It was sort of sad. But he was happy to notice that Isao was still always by Takeshi’s side, he was clearly a good friend with Umiko and Takeshi basically looked like he wanted both. Takeshi seemed to know about Isao’s feelings. It was clear in the pictures how hard he wanted to ensure that Isao wouldn’t feel pushed away. His arm was probably more often around Isao’s shoulders than Umiko’s. She did not seem to mind though, always a warm smile on her face. Rin thought she knew.

He was pretty sure at this point that the secret was that Isao was always in love with Takeshi. The question was… why they did not end up together? Because they knew it would not be allowed anyway, or because Umiko showed up, or Takeshi did not return the deep feeling?

Rin could remember when he thought Sousuke did not return his. It hurt like hell. The difference was that here Takeshi was aware of Isao’s feelings, but Sousuke was not aware of his according to him.

Umiko was clearly friends with Emi. Most pictures were of the two of them, plus other girls that Rin knew as the mob wives. Guys mostly kept together. He could see how closely Takeshi kept to Isao when Emi started partying with them. On the yacht, in different countries, hotels, and beaches… these people seemed to be everywhere.

And then came the wedding pictures. They were mostly quiet through looking at those. Takeshi’s and Umiko’s wedding was beautiful. White flowers everywhere, on the beach, she had a light white dress on, flowers in her pretty hair, and he had a white shirt and simple black pants on. It was very relaxed and small considering who was getting married.

“I expected you to have a wedding with a bang.” Sousuke said, eyes not leaving the photograph of his parents looking at each other in unconditional love. Rin never saw Takeshi smiling so brightly.

“I wanted to, but I’ve lost in paper-rock-scissors with your mother.” Takeshi sighed.

Rin smiled when Sousuke quickly looked at him. How interesting.

When Iwao said, “here comes the show”, they quickly figured out why. Isao’s and Emi’s wedding was clearly there to show it off. Big church, lots of people, expensive suits and dresses.

What he noticed was that while Isao stood behind Takeshi during Takeshi’s wedding, Takeshi stood behind Emi during Isao’s. It quickly turned out that the point was so Isao could look at Takeshi.

“Come on, we all know you would not say ‘yes’ if Takeshi would not move so you could look at him.” Nobu snorted.

Isao’s cheek reddened. “That wasn’t the point.”

“Sure.”

“Shut up you all. Go on.” Takeshi showed Sousuke to flip the page.

More pictures followed, from parties, from holidays, from occasions. They all looked so happy, together, like a true little family. Like a pitch perfect family, because apart from the gang pictures that could as well seem simply group pictures, there was nothing indicating who they really were. They just looked like rich people.

And then the album ended. It made Rin wonder about all the secrets that were not photographed, or hidden somewhere else.

“Your grandma was taking pictures of you and putting them in an album, of course, I’ve put those your mom and me took before everything, there, too.” Takeshi told Sousuke. “They’re at home.”

“I’ve got lots of hilarious videos and pictures from then, too.” Kin grinned. “We should all gather up one night and watch them. Some are fucking amazing.”

Sousuke smiled. “Thanks.” He did not take his eyes of the album, holding it like the biggest treasure in his hands. Rin didn’t know he knew so little. So Sousuke never even saw his baby pictures? His parents? Rin’s mother showed him their family treasures so many years ago already. Come to think of it, he could remember how surprised he always was by the lack of pictures but as a child he thought it’s just their thing. Their home was always cold and empty.

Takeshi smiled back at Sousuke.

“Your mom was a little imp.” Kim’s wife winked to him. “Your dad was an angel in comparison.”

They laughed.

“We’re also keeping a folder with all the mentions of us in the newspapers, some pictures and all, so you all can have a look at it when we will find time to gather up again. It should give you a nice insight.” Isao added.

Kisumi clapped his hands excitedly. “You two stay cool, I enjoy it.”

Isao slapped the back of his head.

Takeshi opened his mouth to say something to Sousuke but the phone ringed.

“Yes?” Takeshi placed the mobile against his ear.

There was silence, Takeshi only listening to what the person on the other side was telling him. His smirk was growing bigger, so they realised it had to be something good.

“What’s up?” Isao asked after he put the phone down.

“They’ve burned down his garden.” Takeshi grinned. “Apparently his face was priceless. Both he and his son got a bullet, nothing serious of course.”

“Should have just killed him.” Isao shook his head. “You and your games.”

“And what?” Takeshi asked. “Kill and what? It’s about paying back, not giving them the easy way to go.”

Isao did not say anything. Rin noticed that the man knew when it was not worth to fight. It made him smile because he had the same situation with Sousuke. You just sometimes have to drop the subject, because you won’t change his mind and that’s it.

Stubborn men.

“What about Nanase?”

“Right in the knee.”

*

Rest of their holiday was spent in peace.

Rin lied on his back on the sea, smiling to himself. He did not want to leave.

“Hey, little fish.”

Rin grinned when he felt Sousuke placing a kiss on his forehead.

“Do you think your dad would let us stay here forever if we asked?” Rin had a dreamy look on his face that made Sousuke laugh.

“I think he has his nice limits and considering he was this nice during this holiday… it might not work.”

“I can’t be even bothered to swim.” Rin admitted. “I could just lie here forever. What’s happening to me?”

“Laziness.” Sousuke caught his arm and tugged towards him. Rin sighed and threw his arms around his neck, legs around his hips. “I don’t complain. You’re more clingy than usual.”

Rin kissed him. “Maybe I should just become that TV show mob wife.”

“TV show mob wife?”

“I watched it online, their husbands are gangsters and they have all the money and can just buy cool stuff, go to spa and gossip with friends. They don’t do much else.”

Sousuke was quiet for a moment. “I can’t even imagine you like that.”

“Me neither.”

They both laughed.

“It’s a bit of bullshit, really. I’m sure some are like that, but those you’ve met here are as badass as their men. They just don’t get involved in all the fights, because they’re wiser than us.” He winked. “But touch one of theirs and hell breaks loose. I remember when I was younger and they came back from one ride, Nobu did something dangerous but he was lucky and nothing happened, but his wife shouted at him so much he sat and looked so terrified… It was so funny because he seemed like this guy who would not be moved by anything… and he isn’t. The only people who can make him sit his ass are his wife and my father.”

Rin smiled. “You know, when I saw your dad for the first time I thought he is cold to everybody and a bit…” Rin bit his lip. “Soulless? But he seems so different now.”

“Dad is whatever he needs to be. Here he is with people he knows since he was a kid, plus their kids. He’s completely different if there are strangers around or he is in his gangster mode.”

“Gangster mode?” Rin’s eyebrow lifted.

“Bossing around, suddenly everybody is employers, killing and… stuff.”

“And stuff.” Rin sighed. “I sometimes wonder what I got myself into.”

Sousuke smiled a little. “I am trying to keep you as far away from everything as possible.”

“I am not sure if this is what I want, you know.” Rin kissed him lightly on the lips again. He loved kissing him. “If I am supposed to be a part of this world, then I want to be its part, not just a tool on the side.”

“Rin, focus on your career. I don’t want you involved.” Sousuke cringed. “You really do not need to be.”

Rin put his chin on his shoulder, thinking.

Was this what he wanted, though?

He was feeling useless, and he hated that feeling.

*

It was late when Rin made his way outside, to the front of the yacht. The stars were blinking and he sat on the floor, looking at the water.

What did he really want?

He began this journey deciding to live in a complete denial. It was easy, pretending like everything was completely normal. It just did not work for long.

Rin still knew little, and he was aware of it. The whole gang could act like a sweet family, but he knew who these people really were and what they were capable of. He was happy Sousuke was teaching him how to shoot, and he got him to promise that he will teach him self defence, too. Rin won’t let himself be a damsel in distress. While he did not want to stand beside them, ready to kill or do anything else illegal and awful, he also did not want to scream for help every five minutes and put Sousuke in danger because he’d need to help him.

He wondered if he really did not want to stand beside them, though. Their life was addicting. Like the drugs they were taking like sweets during this holiday. He noticed that even their beliefs were slowly making sense to him.

It scared him a little.

Did he really want to laugh over people getting shot, hurt? Killed? Would he ever be capable of something like that? He knew they were not running around murdering everybody in their way, but if they had to they still did it without a problem.

Drugs and money laundering he could shrug over. Killing, human trafficking, tortures, though?

Rin hid his face in his hands.

He was so confused.

Was he really capable of being a bad person? And that just to not feel ‘useless’? Did they manage to brainwash him so much already?

Rin jumped a little when he heard footsteps. He did not expect anyone at this hour, Sousuke was sound asleep when he left him in the bed.

Takeshi stood there, hands in his pockets, looking curiously at him.

“Um…”

A soft laugh. “Well, well. And I thought that after one week you will gain some courage.”

Rin could feel his cheeks burning. He knew what Kisumi meant when he said he was afraid, intimidated by Takeshi. The man tried to look so proper, so nice, polite and not dangerous, but Rin felt like he could snap only by one small wrong move.

“Listen, kid.” He walked closer. “You’ve heard a lot about us lately. I hope it’s clear that all the information has to stay between people who were on the yacht this week?”

“Of course, sir.” It was embarrassing how squeaky his voice was when he was speaking to him.

“I have no issue with you not getting too involved, because I do not believe you are capable of it anyway,” he continued, arms crossed on his chest. “However, you have to understand that it’s simply impossible for you to be a complete blind lamb. Not if you care about Sousuke’s safety.”

“I am aware,” Rin said quietly, feeling a little angry. It is one thing telling yourself you’re not capable of something, and another being told you’re a complete loser by your boyfriend’s father.

“I want you to continue training, Sousuke told me that he is teaching you self defence and how to shoot. It will be enough for now. You need to be capable of keeping yourself safe and to help if it was needed. I don’t want Sousuke to get hurt because of you.” He looked down on him.

Rin cringed. At least he wasn’t wrong and knew it wasn’t wise getting swooned away with how sweet Takeshi was lately. He could not trust this man for a reason, and he was starting to see exactly why.

Takeshi was like opium. His life was addicting, like the drug. He was pretty on the outside, like its flower, so easy to trust and so deceitful on the inside. 

So damn manipulative and fake.

Rin would not mind. He wasn’t working for this man. He wasn’t getting manipulated. Takeshi put Sousuke first and that was all that Rin cared about. That was good. Sousuke deserved the best, he suffered enough already.

But Sousuke was looking at this man with unconditional trust.

And that scared Rin.

*

“Father?” A blonde guy walked inside his father’s room. He was sitting on the leather armchair, arm bandaged, looking at his garden through the massive window. There was a red poppy in his hand.

All the beautiful flowers in the garden were gone, the ground blackened from the fire. 

“Don’t worry, everything will grow back.” He added when his father did not answer.

“We’re changing the plan,” he said quietly, eyes on the flower in his hand. “This won’t be enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've posted a one-shot recently, SouRin, if you like angst and fluff ;)  
> Storm:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/3463679
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments!


	25. I am your worst nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now I'm just numb  
> Don't mind me, I'm just a son of a gun
> 
> \- Fall Out Boy

“Are you all comfortable there?” Isao turned in his sit to look at Sousuke, Rin and Kisumi.

He and Takeshi sat in front of the car, ready to drive back home.

“Yeah, but starving.” Kisumi yawned.

It was a late night, they were all drained because of the strong sun shining on them over the few days that they were on the sea.

“We can stop somewhere to eat.” Isao reversed from the airport and soon they were on the road.

“McDonald!”

Takeshi turned in his sit to look at Kisumi and slowly shook his head in disappointment.

“Oh come on, you can have your good food after I eat my McDonalds.” Kisumi grinned.

“You’re not going to eat this shit in my car. I won’t get the stink out for days.” Takeshi sat back comfortably. “Go to the steak house.”

Kisumi sighed but did not seem too disappointed.

Rin yawned and put his cheek on Sousuke’s shoulder. If he had a choice he’d made his way to Samezuka already. He smiled when he felt a kiss on the top of his head.

Kisumi pulled his phone out of his pocket and started typing something furiously again.

“It’s good that phones are so durable these days, right?” Rin felt Sousuke moving his head to look at Kisumi.

“Shush.”

“Just curious who the new guy is.” Sousuke shrugged.

“You’ve got a new boyfriend?” Isao asked.

“No.”

Takeshi and Isao exchanged a look.

“Sure.” Sousuke snorted.

“Fuck off,” murmured Kisumi.

“Do I know him?”

“Dad, there is no boyfriend, leave me alone.”

Rin stuck a finger in Sousuke’s side seeing him opening his mouth again. “Leave him alone.”

“Outch.”

“Thanks.” Kisumi looked at him thankfully.

“Who are you texting so much then?” Isao continued.

“Just a friend from school.” Kisumi shrugged.

“What kind of friend makes you act like you have a knife on your throat?”

It was probably the first time Rin saw Isao so serious and suspicious.

“That’s what I was wondering about,” murmured Sousuke, looking out of the window.

“Leave me the fuck alone.” Kisumi grind his teeth together, angry.

“Language.” Isao snapped at him.

“You’re going to miss the turn in a minute.” Takeshi pointed his finger to the right.

There was something hilarious about Isao saving Sousuke’s ass, and Takeshi saving Kisumi’s. There were like a one screwed up family. Rin tried not to laugh.

*

When they arrived at the steak house, Isao grabbed Kisumi and they stayed behind as the rest of them made their way to the restaurant.

Rin loved the look of that place. A fireplace with burning wood in the middle, wooden floor and tables and chairs, white walls with logs here and there holding up the ceiling. It made him feel warm and romantic. He squeezed Sousuke’s hand.

“Mr Yamazaki.” The man at the entrance bent a little, dressed in a slim black suit with a white shirt.

“Hello. Can we have a table for five?” Takeshi clearly put most of his weight on the walking stick. He seemed in pain, which did not miss Rin’s attention.

It did not surprise him, he was shot only a week ago and after travelling it was possible he started feeling worse.

“Of course, sir. Please follow me.” He took five menus and smiled at them.

They sat near the fireplace and the menus were handed to them as they ordered the drinks. The man left them after ensuring he will come back soon.

“Do you have any idea who is Kisumi’s new boyfriend?” Takeshi asked Sousuke.

He shrugged. “Not even sure if it’s a boyfriend.”

Rin was a little confused. Why were they so invested into whom Kisumi was dating? He did not understand Isao’s behaviour either.

“Kisumi falls in love easily and he loses his clear mind when he does.” Sousuke looked at Rin, seeing his face. “There was this one guy that only hurt him but Kisumi did not want to get rid of him. We had to take care of it finally. That’s why we don’t leave him alone when someone new comes into the picture, especially if he already makes him so nervous.”

“I understand.” Rin sighed. Well, that made sense. He wasn’t sure if they weren’t pushing Kisumi away more by showing their concern in this way, though.

The waiter brought the drinks and quickly disappeared again.

“I’ve never been here before.” Sousuke looked around the place.

“I never invited you here.” Takeshi admitted.

“Thanks, dad.”

“You’re very welcome.”

Rin tried not to snort.

“Here they are.” Takeshi lifted his hand to show where they were sitting.

They observed how both Isao and Kisumi sat by them without smiles that were nearly always on their faces.

“So.” Takeshi opened the menu. “Let’s get something to eat.”

*

Rin faceplanted on the bottom bunk when they finally arrived at Samezuka. He was so full after the large meal at the steak house, and weirdly tired after the holiday.

He really became lazy.

“OI!” He jumped when he felt a slap on his ass cheek.

A laugh. “You just came back from holiday.”

“Your fault I’m lazy now.” Rin did not lift his head from the pillow, but curiosity won and he followed Sousuke with his eyes, seeing him reaching for the laptop.

After Isao gave them a lift, Takeshi asked Sousuke on the side. Rin did not ask what they were talking about but now he saw Sousuke inserting a memory stick in the laptop and he had to bite his lip to not ask. It was obviously something private.

Rin smiled seeing his eyebrows furrowing, cheeks adorably red from the sun. It was good seeing him healthy, after all those weeks of dark circles under his eyes and pale face.

“I’m going to take a shower.” Rin stood up and kissed the top of Sousuke’s head.

*

Rin grabbed the sink tight. He could feel lightheaded, his reflection blurry. He slowly sat on the floor feeling ill. He really shouldn’t have eaten so much at the restaurant.

Breath in, breath out… Breath in… Breath out.

When his vision cleared up he stood up slowly and made his way back to their room. Sousuke was still doing something on his laptop, fingers tapping on his cheek. Rin lied down without taking the towel off his head.

“Everything okay?” Sousuke turned on the chair.

“Yeah.” He closed his eyes.

“Hey…” Rin felt the bed dipping a little when Sousuke sat by him and put his hand over his forehead. “What’s wrong?”

“Just feeling ill, don’t worry.”

Sousuke kissed his head. “Maybe I will get the nurse?”

“Noo. Come here.” Rin tugged his shirt and Sousuke lay by him on his side, strong arm around him. Rin snuggled up, breathing in the light cologne. He fell asleep as Sousuke played with his hair.

*

“Okay, guys! You were all fantastic today, thank you!” Rin clapped his hands, when his team gathered around him. Sousuke stood by him.

Even though he was the captain, with the amount of helping and supporting Sousuke did, everybody considered Sousuke the second captain. But as sweet Sousuke was, he never pushed the idea himself. Sousuke was always there to give advice when Rin needed it, but he tried to act like he wasn’t as important as him.

Rin loved how while it was obvious who was respected more as a coach, Sousuke still tried to act like Rin took care of everything. Trying to make him feel special.

Rin wondered if Sousuke thought that he would be jealous. Since he fallen in love it was difficult to be a rival to Sousuke. It wasn’t what their relationship was about anymore.

He felt a kiss on his cheek.

It was about so much more.

“How are you feeling? I saw you did not swim much today.” Sousuke looked at him with concern.

“I’m fine, just a little bit off so I did not want to overwork myself.” Rin shrugged. “Stop worrying.” He kissed the corner of his lips.

“Maybe we should see a doctor? You should get checked up.”

“It’s probably the sun, and change of time, and food, and stuff…” He stopped seeing Sousuke’s face. “I’m fine, really.”

Sousuke kissed his forehead. “Okay.”

“You really need to stop treating me like I’m a baby, you know.”

Sousuke looked at him deeply insulted. “Come on, let’s race then, bro.” He turned away and made his way to the pool.

Rin pouted. Asshole.

*

“You really need to see a doctor.” Sousuke handed him a glass of water.

Rin took a sip and lay down again.

They were in their room. Yet another day feeling sick. He thought it was over, but it was just getting worse lately. Sousuke looked ready to throw him over his shoulder and take him to the doctors against his ‘buts’ but respected his decision.

Or did not want him to throw up on his jacket.

“Rin.”

“No.”

“Rin.”

“No.”

Sousuke was kind of cute when he was irritated, teeth grinding. Rin watched as he growled in frustration and sat by him, on the floor. Rin brushed his fingers through his hair with a smile.

“Okay, I will go in the morning.”

“Hallelujah.” Sousuke quickly turned to face him and kissed him on the lips. “Okay, then, I need to go out tonight.”

“Where?”

“Nowhere important, really, just need to do something with my dad.” He stood up. “I will be back soon. Shall I bring you something before I leave?” He looked at him worried.

Rin sighed. “No, I am just going to go to sleep. Don’t come back late, we’ve got classes tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about me.” He pulled a jacket over himself and bent to kiss him again. “Night, love.”

Rin smiled, closing his eyes. “Be careful.”

*

Someone knocked on the door.

Rin growled and closed his eyes tighter hoping the person will go away. Who the hell knocks at this ridiculous hour? Sousuke had a key to their room, he made sure he took it before he left.

Knock knock.

It better be something important, he hissed under his breath, as he threw the blanket away and made his way to the door. He opened it a bit too quickly and froze.

“Makoto?” He asked surprised.

Makoto looked very uncomfortable. “Um… Hi, Rin.”

He blinked. “Hi…?”

“I’m sorry for this late hour, but, uh…”

Rin raised his eyebrow.

“Can I come in for a second, I don’t think I should talk about it here.” He looked around seemingly ready to run.

“Okaay?” Rin let him in and closed the door after. He switched the light on and hissed when it blinded him.

“Sorry, it really wasn’t my idea.” Makoto sat down on the chair, hands shaking a little on his lap.

Rin had to look absolutely amazing since he went to sleep with wet hair. If they weren’t pointing in all the possible directions now, he’d be surprised. He felt like his whole face was swollen, too. And he had Sousuke’s shirt and pants hanging on him.

Hi, I am Rin, and I am homeless.

Well he did not expect guests.

“Did something happen?” He sat on the bed, feeling a bit lightheaded again.

“You know Haru is a little obsessed with Sousuke because of his surname and all, right…?” Makoto sighed in resignation.

Rin rolled his eyes. Not this again.

“So he sort of started digging in to find more information and made us help and got some information from someone, I don’t know who… well, anyway, he is ensured he knows where Sousuke and his father are today and he wants you to see.”

“Makoto… I know Sousuke is with his father today, he told me. I don’t think I need to see anything.” Rin said unsurely. He did not want it to sound like a confirmation. Haru wanted proof that they’re murderers and he is not going to give it to him.

“Rin, look…” Makoto was pleading. “Haru doesn’t stop talking about Sousuke and his family. He is obsessed. We did try to get him invested into something else but he doesn’t. Just go with us so we can see that there’s nothing wrong happening and he will stop. Please.”

Rin wanted to run away. Actually there was a massive chance that there was something wrong happening. Why the hell would they meet at such late hour otherwise. And Sousuke did not want to say anything…

He did not know what to do. The curiosity was there, and guys would go there anyway.

But what if there really was nothing wrong happening? He would get them away from there quickly and have proof that Sousuke and his father are innocent. If he won’t go, it would be like giving them the proof of opposite.

“Okay. I will go.”

*

Haru did not say anything to them when they sat in the car. Rin rolled his eyes. Typical.

The trip was quiet and awkward, without anyone talking. Rin was feeling a little anxious, wondering if he did the right thing. But wouldn’t leaving them to it make it worse? What would Sousuke think if he said he doesn’t care about what they found out about his family? That would be such a betrayal. It was definitely expected of him to go in such case and try to save the situation. He just had no idea how to do it.

They arrived at some old factory, the place looked abandoned and dirty, lots of old big buildings and nothing else but dark ground with no trees or even simple grass. Makoto was shaking a little and he turned to Haru to ask him one last time if they can just go back home. Haru glared at him and made his way to the last building, where the lights were on. Rin wondered if he had any idea what the hell he was doing. He believed they were murderers and stalked them? What the fuck?

“Do you have a deathwish?” Makoto whispered but made his way after him.

Rin cocked an eyebrow. It seemed that Makoto was very well aware that Sousuke was far from innocent and knew he should not dig for his own safety. Too bad Haru did not.

“Be quiet.” Haru mouthed to them and made his way up the building on the metal stairs.

Rin was even more confused. Why were they going up the roof?

It quickly turned out that there was quite a big part made of glass there, uncovering what was inside the factory. Which gave them a perfect view.

Rin swallowed hard seeing Sousuke and other gangsters he knew. Sousuke was standing by his father who was currently talking to others gathered, proud with a detached look on his face. Rin furrowed his eyebrows seeing that both he and Takeshi had black gloves on.

He did not have a good feeling.

When the talking ended, they moved to the side. Rin paled when he saw two big guys bringing in someone with a black bag over his head. He was thrown on the chair in the middle, and the bag was taken off after he was tied to it.

He looked terrified, shaking, looking around for help desperately. Tall man with a shaved head, bruises on his face from recent beatings. He was begging for something, Rin quickly realised that nothing else but his life when Takeshi showed Sousuke to do something, smile on his face. Sousuke laughed and the guy looked at him horrified.

Rin jumped when Sousuke grabbed the man’s jaw and hissed something to him, now only fury on his face. Takeshi watched him with sick curiosity, proudness on his face.

Don’t do it, Rin thought. Please don’t.

He could not recognise Sousuke. It wasn’t his Sousuke. He did not look like Sousuke, eyes cold, jaw set, no mercy. He looked like a nightmare. 

The guy started crying when Sousuke pinned his leg to the floor by standing on it to keep him attached to the ground and started pushing his head back, until it was uncomfortably bent..

Sousuke dared him again, and the guy responded so Sousuke let him go. He choked and started quickly explaining while shaking his head. Sousuke looked at his father, bored expression on his face.

Takeshi starred at the man with interest, patting his finger against his jaw, seemingly considering something.

“Kill him.” He finally said, and Rin wished he could not read it from his lips.

Without a second thought Sousuke turned back to the man, grabbed his jaw, and snapped his neck.

Makoto screamed. Rin and Haru jumped pale in the faces, terrified.

“I’m sorry…”

But it was too late. Everybody inside were already starring up. Right at them.

“Run.” Rin wasn’t even sure which one of them said it when they gathered up and ran, not looking back.

Rin did not even have time to think. He was glad the car wasn’t far away and the door to the factory was on the other side. It gave them advantage.

Seeing how much Makoto was shaking Rin only pushed him behind the wheel and started the car for him. If he knew how to drive he’d take his place, but he would only end up killing them.

“DRIVE, Makoto!”

Maybe the knowledge that he was running for life made his brain kick into the survival mode and he actually gathered himself up, reversed the car, and then drove.

Rin felt like someone was breathing on his neck. He turned in the back sit to see cars driving after them already. Makoto had some cheap, old car.

He knew what cars these people were driving.

“Why did you take us here?” Makoto shouted at Haru, speeding up.

Haru curled up, not saying anything. So ensured and wanting to prove his right, Rin thought, now he had to deal with the reality. These two were obviously taking it worse than him.

Rin felt sort of numb.

He wanted to slap himself.

He knew they were killing people.

He had no right to freak out now after actually seeing it.

It would only prove that Sousuke was right and shouldn’t have showed him anything.

But…

It wasn’t the murder itself that shook him. It was the laughs. The carelessness. His father pointed his finger and Sousuke killed someone. Just like that.

He just imagined before that if Sousuke would ever have to do something like that then he would end up protesting. That he would be forced and then it would make him sick.

But Sousuke did not care. There was nothing that stopped him.

Worse, he seemed to be bored. Another day, another job. Like he did not just end someone’s LIFE.

Rin shook.

“Where am I supposed to go?!” Makoto cried out.

“You won’t escape anyway.” Rin closed his eyes hearing the loud engine. The cars reached them, one on each side.

Makoto panicked and tried to drive faster but then one sport car on Rin’s right took over and blocked them. Makoto pressed his leg on the break suddenly and they were thrown to the front. Rin winced when he hit the back of the sit.

“Oh my god, oh my god…” Makoto panicked. “They’re going to kill us. They’re going to kill us.”

“Rin, do something.” Haru was breathing unevenly, for the first time saying something that night.

Rin wanted to do something. It was to disappear. Especially when he recognised no one else but Sousuke and Takeshi getting out of the car that stopped them. Calmly. Without a rush. Both dressed in elegant black, hands covered in dark gloves.

Sousuke had a gun in his hand and pointed it at them as Takeshi sat himself on the bonnet comfortably, satisfied smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments. Thank you to those who always do xxx


	26. Panic Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/dreamtheater/panicattack.html

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For every single person who left me a message or commented last chapter. I can't thank you enough xxx

Rin starred at the gun, trying to even his breath.

Sousuke was pointing a gun at them.

Takeshi was sitting, looking like he finally was seeing what he couldn’t have waited for.

“What are we supposed to do?” Makoto whispered, voice terrified. His hands were still tight on the wheel.

Haru sank further into the sit, hoping to disappear.

Rin wanted to tell them to get out, but before he gathered the courage to open his mouth the doors were opened by other gangsters who grabbed them and pulled out of the car.

They were thrown in front of Sousuke and Takeshi. Rin looked at Sousuke, not wanting to see Takeshi’s satisfied smirk anymore.

Sousuke looked like he saw him for the first time ever. But his hand did not shake. Did not move an inch.

“Rin?”

So he did not notice him on the roof.

“Well, well, well…” Takeshi cocked his head. “Who would have guessed?” It was obvious he did.

“Sousuke, listen…” Rin choked out, seeing him frozen in shock.

“How could you?” Sousuke whispered in disbelief.

“Please listen to me…” Rin said, his voice stronger. Seeing the look of betrayal on Sousuke’s face scared him. It was the opposite of what he ever wanted.

“Let him talk.” Takeshi waved for Sousuke to put the gun down which Sousuke did slowly. “Come on then.”

“Here?” Rin swallowed hard. They expected him to talk in front of Makoto and Haru that he is on their side? It’s going to be his end. How people will look at him when everybody will find out that he belongs to these people?

And then it hit him…

That was the point. Takeshi wanted him to pull his cards out.

Rin could remember when Sousuke told him that Takeshi does not accept people hiding who they are. Everything with responsibility, but he would never accept Rin who dated his son, travelled with them, heard so much about them, was taught by Sousuke shooting and self defence, yet tried to act like he knew nothing. Like he did not belong.

It reminded him of Umiko, Takeshi’s wife, who chose to not be involved in their world and yet finding a way to be supportive and proud of where she belonged, and whose partner she was. She was always by Takeshi’s side, never tried to act like she had nothing to do with them. They were respecting her and loving her.

“They asked me to go with them. I knew they would go whether I will or not so I went hoping I will be able to do something. What was I supposed to do? I could not stop them from going. If I would let them go alone you’d call me a traitor, too!” Rin grind his teeth together, trying to not look down.

Takeshi starred at him like at something pathetic. “So while you were on your way here, you did not come up with one idea that could have proven useful?”

Silence.

“Like what?”

Rin could feel his cheeks burning seeing all the eyes on him. Being judged by everybody only stressed him which clearly did not help his brain to think straight.

“You could have texted me.” Sousuke took pity and answered his question.

Rin closed his eyes. Right. Of course.

God, he was so stupid.

“You traitor.”

He looked up quickly at Haru who was starring at him with distaste. He was still terrified, but now also angry.

“I thought you knew nothing, that he is fooling you and you believe him because you’re completely blinded by love. But you knew everything and sided with them. You disgusting, fucking…”

“Shut your mouth.” Sousuke hissed.

Haru looked at him with hate.

Rin was more surprised with him talking and swearing than the fact that he was just called a disgusting fucking traitor by him.

“How stupid do you have to be to not only stalk people you believe are killers but then stand in front of them and insult one of theirs?” Sousuke looked down on him.

“I’m not afraid of you.” Haru spit out.

Takeshi laughed.

“I’m not sure what’s funnier, your stupidity or that you suddenly found your tongue. Is that how you react to stress? Your hands are sweating, sweetie.” Sousuke pointed at the hands Haru was wiping on his jeans.

“You can’t kill me, how you’re going to explain yourself to my father…”

“Haru, shut up, please.” Makoto whispered seeing Sousuke’s smile widening.

Haru shifted uncomfortably but stopped talking.

“Right…” Takeshi crosses his arms on his chest. “We do not want fights, do we? Hurting you would cause us so many problems. It would be better to pretend nothing happened today, you are not going to tell what you saw tonight and keep Rin’s secret a secret… and we will let you go.”

Sousuke side-eyed his father quickly trying to keep his face neutral but failed.

Rin wasn’t sure whether he was angry or confused.

Haru and Makoto blinked in shock.

“Tomorrow is a live show at my club. You’re invited; treat it as my good will. I expected you to come.” Takeshi smiled and stood up. “Let’s work on making things right between us, shall we?”

They did not respond, standing like stuck to the ground.

“You can go. NOW.” Takeshi added harshly.

They pretty much ran to their car and soon they were on their way back to their homes, leaving Rin standing alone in the middle of the mafia.

“Are you insane?” Sousuke turned to face his father. “He will blabber out everything to his father and get us all in the fucking jail! And you invite him for a fucking dinner?!”

“Please.” Takeshi sighed in disappointment. “You’re not as dumb as your boyfriend.” He made his way to the car. “Come on you two, we’re going. Get behind the wheel, Sousuke.”

Rin went not knowing what else to do. He felt numb. That was it? Sousuke did not even look at him. What was Takeshi planning?

Sousuke turned the engine on and they made their way back.

“Care to explain, dad?”

“I’m going to explain when your traitor of a boyfriend won’t be listening.”

Sousuke winced.

Rin could feel his eyes feeling with tears. “I am not a traitor.”

They ignored him.

“Go to Samezuka.”

Sousuke nodded.

*

When they arrived Rin was told to get out of the car.

“You’re not going?” he asked Sousuke quietly.

“I will come in a minute.” Cold, detached voice.

Rin nodded and made his way out.

He really did not mean for it to look like a betrayal.

Why no matter what he was doing it was always wrong?

*

“We need to find out who sold the information to Nanase’s brat about our place.” Takeshi said when Rin disappeared from their view. “It wasn’t about selling us out, then they would give the information about today’s evening straight to the police, instead of handing it to the brat. Which makes me wonder if Kimuras had something to do with it.”

“Kimuras?”

“Who else would want you two to break up? They had to know they would take Rin and he would go, which would make us think he’s a traitor. It had to be one of the people who were on the yacht, since they clearly know him and you pretty well. ”

“Right.” Sousuke’s hand tightened on the wheel.

“I don’t believe he really intended harm.” Takeshi faced Sousuke. “However, he has to learn how to use his goddamn brain. No more pretending he does not belong to us, knows nothing, and lives in his paradise of denial. No more taking the cool stuff and suddenly having nothing to do with us when shit happens. Either he conforms or he’s gone. I am not going to accept him.”

Sousuke nodded.

“As for letting them go and inviting them… Nanase is out of town, he won’t notice that there is something wrong. If they’re going to call the police, they have no proof for anything. I think that Makoto will make them come because he looks naïve enough to believe we really want to make up and he is scared enough to do as he was told fearing consequences otherwise. Haru is a complete moron caring only about his business, he will go thinking he might find out more or out of being terrified. They’re kids, they’re way too easy to manipulate. Anyway, the point is, they will come one way or another. Now… There’s supposed to be a police raid on the club tomorrow. They will be looking for drugs.”

Sousuke blinked. “You’re going to fuck Nanase’s brat up.”

“I could have taken him today and even kill but Nanase would give us hell and he’s the one supposed to get fucked up, not us. He thinks that tomorrow he will lock us up… Imagine his face when the only person with drugs on himself will be his dear son. And he will need to lock him up in front of his friends and us. It’s going to end up on the TV, I am going to ensure it. With it broadcasted Nanase will lose credibility, and his kid will have a big problem trying to find a job in the future. Especially in swimming.”

Sousuke laughed quietly. “Fantastic.”

*

Rin made his way towards their room, head down, feet making crunchy noise as he stepped on the little stones on the ground.

“Hey, Matsuoka!”

He jumped surprised hearing his name. There was a guy walking towards his way, he could remember him from the classes. They never really spoke before.

“Hey…?” He wanted him gone already, not in the mood for conversations.

“What are you doing here so late?” He put his hands in his pockets and stood in his way, blocking him.

“Going back. Can I…” He tried to pass him.

The guy blocked him again.

“Where have you lost Sousuke?”

“I haven’t lost him anywhere, can you let me go?” He looked at him with a little anger.

“I was just wondering, you two are so close, it’s like you’re attached to each other.” He laughed. “I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

“I am in a little bit of rush, sorry.” Rin went forward but the guy grabbed his arm.

“Come on.” He grinned. “Your boy won’t see, we can have a little bit of fun.”

“Fuck off. Let me go.” Rin shoved him away but the guy caught him again and pushed against the wall.

Rin swallowed hard. What the actual fuck.

“Struggling always made me hot.” He smiled, ugly grin as he put his hands on Rin’s arms, pressing him to the wall.

“GET OFF ME!” Rin shouted as he stepped even closer.

He tried to shove him away, get out of his grip, but the guy was stronger. Rin screamed again when he bent to kiss him.

It was seconds. Rin turned away and suddenly the guy was grabbed and thrown away by someone. Rin fell to the ground and quickly lifted his head to see no one else but Sousuke punching the guy in the face. He took him by his shirt and pressed him to the wall holding his throat.

“Sousuke, no!” Rin shouted when he saw him taking out a knife.

“Shut up.” Rin jumped when he heard a voice behind him and someone grabbed the back of his shirt, not letting him interrupt. He turned to see Takeshi.

He did not know what Sousuke was saying, but the knife was right between the guy’s legs. He threw him away after the guy quickly nodded. He was out of their sight seconds later.

Sousuke hid the knife in his jeans and walked up to Rin.

“Are you okay?” He kneeled by him, worry on his face. Takeshi let go off Rin.

Rin opened his mouth but no sound escaped his throat. Now it was getting to him what could just happen. He completely froze and let the guy get so close. Instead of kicking him in the balls, he stood there. If not Sousuke he would… He would…

“Rin…”

He sobbed as he hugged Sousuke as tight as he could, breathing out in a little relief when he returned the embrace.

“Shh, everything is okay, he won’t dare to touch you anymore,” Sousuke whispered, petting his hair.

“I did not know what to do.” He choked out. “Why am I so useless? I really did not try to betray you. I thought I’m doing the right thing. And now he tried to… and I… I did nothing…”

“Oh God, don’t blame yourself for that, kid. You’re the victim here.” Takeshi shook his head irritated, standing by them. “I know you did not try to betray us either. However, you need to get your shit together instead of letting people manipulate you as they wish. You either belong to us or not. Choose your side.”

“Dad, it’s really not the time, don’t you think?” Sousuke snapped, arms tight around Rin.

Takeshi shrugged. “I am going.”

“What, alone?”

“I will manage, go to sleep you two.”

Sousuke sighed. “Come on, let’s get going.” He kissed the top of Rin’s head and gave him a hand so they could stand up together. He caught him when Rin’s knees shook and he nearly fell. “Rin?”

“I don’t feel well…” Rin murmured, feeling lightheaded again as his vision blurred.

Then it was only darkness.

*

One, two, three, four, five, six.

One, two three…

“Sousuke, can you sit down?” Takeshi made a face when his son walked past him again.

He was sitting in the hospital in the waiting room, white walls blinding him as Sousuke decided to walk out a hole in the floor.

“Why it’s taking so long? I couldn’t wake him up…” Sousuke ignored his pleading.

“First he saw you snapping someone’s neck and now got nearly raped. It’s probably from shock.”

Sousuke cringed. “I should have killed that fucker,” he hissed.

He wanted to punch something.

“We seriously do not need a murder investigation at Samezuka. You only have a few months left, finish this school without scenes like that,” said Takeshi, closing his eyes. “Then you can do whatever you want.”

“Sousuke?”

He quickly turned to face the doctor who showed up. “Yes?”

“Rin is okay, don’t worry.” He smiled, a calming look on his face with wrinkles here and there. Grey hair covered his head.

“What happened to him?” He was still anxious.

“I think it would be better if he told you. He’s in the fourth room.” He pointed there.

Sousuke seemed surprised but quickly made his way to Rin’s room without another world.

Takeshi looked at the doctor.

“What’s wrong with the kid?”

“You know I can’t tell.”

Takeshi rolled his eyes. Like he couldn’t fucking guess.

*

“Rin?” Sousuke walked inside the sterile clean room with one bed by the window. Rin was curled up on his side, facing it. “Are you ok?” He kneeled by his side. Rin’s cheeks were wet from tears, eyes red. “Rin, love.” He wiped the tears away, then brushed his hair off his face, trying to calm him down.

Rin moved his hand towards him without a word, sliding a picture across the bed. Sousuke took it without a word and turned to look at it.

“What’s that?” He asked, a black picture with not much else on it. “That’s an usg, right? Are you ill? What’s wrong? Come on…” Sousuke could feel the stress eating his insides out, panic getting bigger.

Rin was feeling ill for awhile now. Sousuke was so scared it was something awful. His illness started just like flu, too, and turned out to be hell.

Rin couldn’t be ill. Sousuke would take all the sicknesses on himself if he could. He could not stand watching him ill. He could not even imagine watching the hell he went through, someone he loves suffering from it.

“I’m pregnant.” A whisper.

Sousuke looked up and blinked. “What?”

“I’m pregnant.” He repeated, voice hoarse, finally his eyes on Sousuke.

He sat on the floor.

They were quiet for awhile.

“I did not know you can…” Sousuke whispered finally, starring at the scan, face blank.

He could not gather his thoughts. So this was a first picture of their…

Child?

Oh my God.

“I did not want to scare you off…” Rin murmured, hugging himself. “I was taking pills. Thought it couldn’t possibly happen. I don’t know why they did not work. The doctor said sometimes it happens.” He shrugged. He was so tired after everything that happened today that he did not even have strength to freak out. First he saw someone he loves murdering people without a blink, then was accused of betrayal, then got nearly… and now this.

He was pregnant.

They were going to have a child. He and Sousuke. A little person fully dependent on them. A little girl or boy they will need to take care of. Love. Devote their lives to.

They were only seventeen.

He felt numb.

Silence again.

“Sousuke…” Rin whispered. “You’re not going to leave me, are you?”

Surprisingly, he wasn’t that afraid of having a child. With everything that was going on in his life lately, it wasn’t something horrifying to him. Ok, he was pregnant. Nothing he can do about it now. No point to be immature and throw fits and whine. He has to grow up and prove he isn’t another kid having a kid. He will be a good parent.

He just needed Sousuke to hold him together.

Maybe he was still in shock.

Sousuke lifted his head, surprise on his face. “Of course not.” Sousuke moved closer and kissed his cheek reassuringly. “I am sorry I am not saying anything, I’m just…” He took a deep breath in and slowly let it out.

“It’s going to be alright, right?” Rin smiled through tears. “We will deal somehow.”

Sousuke smiled and grasped and kissed both of his hands.

“Of course we will. Everything is going to be perfect.”

“Heh…” Rin tried to laugh but a weird sound escaped his throat. “My mom is going to kill me when she will find out her son isn’t going to university anymore.” His chin shook. “Fuck, I did not expect to get pregnant at the age of seventeen…”

“Well, we’re both nearly eighteen, it isn’t that bad… “ Typical, looking for a light in the dark situation. Rin wanted to slap him and Sousuke obviously knew because he grinned at him apologetically. “Besides, don’t say that. You will go to the university. Just a little bit later.” Sousuke stroked his hair. “It’s not the end of your career, don’t think like that, please.”

“How do you expect me to continue swimming after stopping for months and then having a child that will need to be taken care of and…”

“We will manage. We will work it out so you can accomplish your dream.” He kissed his temple. “It’s going to be okay. I promise to you.”

“You’re too calm.” Rin sniffed. “It’s scarring me.”

Sousuke laughed. “I am going to freak out after you will fall asleep, okay?”

Rin shuffled a little to the back, making space between them. “Lie down by me, please.”

Sousuke quickly did, putting his arms around him. He kissed the top of his head.

“Everything is going to be okay,” he repeated. “I promise to you. I am so sorry for today, Rin.”

Rin put his head on his arm. He was still in such shock that it was difficult to think.

Pregnancy.

Right before they were supposed to attend a university.

Before they even reached the age of eighteen.

Before they got jobs.

Before they travelled the world.

Before they accomplished their dreams.

“What are yours dreams, Sousuke?” he asked quietly.

“You’re my dream.” He answered without stopping a moment to think.

Rin lifted his head a little. “Aren’t you mad?”

“Mad?”

“Come on… You did not want to travel? Move somewhere else? Get a job first? Everything will be different now.”

Sousuke cocked his eyebrow. “Rin, you’re not deathly sick with three months left to live. You’re going to have a baby. He does not disqualify us from having a life. We’re going to travel. We will move. We will get our own house. We will live all of our dreams. And it will be even better because we will share it with one more little person. As for the job… did you seriously just ask me that? You definitely do not need to worry about money.”

Rin laughed. “How do you know it’s a boy? Maybe it will be a girl?”

Sousuke shrugged. “Totally a boy.”

“But I could dress the girl in pretty dresses. Can you imagine how happy Gou would be if she could, too.”

Sousuke grinned. “I’m sure she will dress up the kid whatever the gender. Throw Kisumi in the mix and we will need to save the poor child. But good to have friends and family for when we will need to be alone.” He winked.

“Idiot.” Rin slapped the top of his head. “He’s not even born yet and you’re already looking for how to get rid of him.”

“Not at all.”

Rin put his head on his shoulder again. “You have known for five minutes and you already have it all planned out. I guess that’s a good sign.”

Sousuke smiled and petted his hair. “Go to sleep. You have to be exhausted.”

It was a stupid thought, but he was glad that something “big” happened. Maybe it will help Rin deal with what that disgusting piece of shit tried to do. Took his mind off it…

Sousuke hugged him tighter. He will protect him…

Them…

With his life.

*

Sousuke walked out slowly of the room once Rin fell asleep and saw Takeshi and Isao standing right opposite to him.

“How is Rin?” Isao looked at his pale face in worry.

“Okay.” He swallowed hard but tried to smile. He was already starting to panic, without Rin needing to be taken care of.

“Don’t worry, we will help.” Isao put his hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

He wasn’t panicking because of this.

Sousuke knew that he was mature enough to take care of a child. It wasn’t the problem. They had money, they loved each other, they had people who they could ask for help. He loved Rin, and even though of course he would not choose to have a child now, it wasn’t the end of the world for him.

Others will say he is oh so young, but if he was old enough to murder people, he surely wasn’t too young to have a child. He wasn’t young. You were an adult at the age of sixteen in their world. They were living fast and dying young. They were reaching maturity at an earlier age than normal people.

It’s himself he was afraid of.

His grandfather was meant to be a good father, but ended up trying to manipulate his dad, forcing him to be someone heartless and cold, believing this was the only way to survive in their world. His father fought back until the day he believed he lost the love of his life because he protested and became someone else, and it made him snap.

From a loving dad, he turned into a monster making him panic until he lost his memories. Trying to force him to erase any emotions he could possibly have in himself, apart from hatred. He abused him so much he was afraid to talk to him, anyone. It took them years to finally sincerely talk to each other and still their relationship wasn’t normal.

The damage was done anyway. Sousuke knew he could love and he would never choose not to, but he also was aware of how easy it was for him to change. Instead of erasing his personality and becoming a monster with no feelings, he split his personality in two.

There was Sousuke that Rin loved.

And then there was Sousuke who belonged to mafia.

He wasn’t sure which one was real.

But he was afraid that one day his personalities will merge, and his bad side take over. He did not know where was the line.

If his grandfather and father were capable of snapping and hurting their children…

How easily it could happen to him?

Rin was thinking about dressing their kid up.

Sousuke was wondering whether he was capable of hurting him.

“Sousuke?” Takeshi asked.

“I’m staying here. What time I’m supposed to show up at the club tomorrow?” he asked, pretending everything was completely fine.

“Around nine.”

“Okay.”

Takeshi sighed a little frustrated and walked up to him to put a finger under his chin and lift his head. “It’s not the end of the world, kid. Don’t worry.”

“I know.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” His voice was starting to break, hands shaking in his pockets. He just wanted them to go.

“Okay, if you will need anything, just call us, yes?” Isao broke the awkward silence.

Sousuke nodded, eyes not meeting theirs, trying to control his breathing. Isao tightened his hand on his arm for a moment, Takeshi patted his cheek, and soon they were on their way out, clearly getting the hint that he wanted to be left alone.

Sousuke slowly slid down the door and hugged his knees, blindly looking at the opposite wall.

“God, please don’t let me lose my mind.”

One… Two

Three… Four

Five… Six

Just breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet!  
> I hope you have enjoyed it.  
> I wanted to thank every single person who ensured to send me a message or comment last time. It really helps in writing, it makes me want to write when I know people are reading, enjoying and waiting for more. Please leave kudos and comments and/or messages.  
> xxx
> 
> Invincible has PINTEREST now!  
> https://www.pinterest.com/nightcloak666/invincible/


	27. War Drums

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window   
> I’ll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons

When Sousuke could breath normally again, he went to the little café at the hospital to grab himself a coffee. He could not find himself a place, anxiousness building up in him again, so he downed the drink quickly and decided to walk around the hospital.

It was a big hospital with a lot of departments. He quickly missed the oncology department, cringing seeing it, and made his way to… infants.

He had no idea why he was doing it.

Here they were, little kids in their small beds. So many of them, behind a large window. There was a guy holding one, a nurse taking care of another who was crying, a couple standing outside near Sousuke, waving their goodbye, making their way back to the room.

The man holding his child seemed pretty young. He made a funny contrast to the white, sterile clean room, with his tattooed body, black clothes and rings in his ear. But there was no difference between him and the couple outside when it came to the amount of love in their eyes, complete devotion in them.

Maybe it was natural. He hoped it was. The child will be born and a thought that he could hurt him won’t even cross his mind. It won’t matter who he is. He will be a dad and that’s it.

He jumped when he felt a hand on his arm.

“Sorry, did not want to scare you.” The doctor smiled. His doctor. A man who was taking care of him since the beginning. When he was ill, when he had an accident, when he was dying. He was alive thanks to this man.

“It’s okay.” 

“I’ve heard the news. Congratulations.” He smiled kindly.

Sousuke got a bit paler.

“Thank you.”

“Worried?” He stood by him, eyes on the kids. He nodded to the nurse.

“Yeah. Well. It wasn’t planned, obviously…” said quietly Sousuke.

“But it isn’t why you’re hurting yourself again, is it?” He put his hand over Sousuke’s who quickly stopped scratching his hand, embarrassed. He didn’t even notice he was doing it.

“Just nervous,” he murmured.

“I understand. I talked with your dad some time ago, he was worried about you.”

“Why?”

“Maybe you would tell me?”

Sousuke shrugged. “I don’t know. Everything is fine.”

“Are you feeling okay? You know you can tell me everything.”

Shrug again. “I am okay.”

He sighed obviously not believing him, but changed the topic. “I will take care of Rin through his pregnancy.”

“Thank you.” Sousuke smiled. “Then I do not need to be worried.” He was so glad a man he trusted with his life would take care of Rin. He was in good hands.

“Of course not. Your mom trusted me and you were a healthy little boy when she held you for the first time.”

“At least I was normal at the beginning,” he mumbled.

“So that is what this is about.”

Sousuke blushed. He should have kept his mouth shut.

“Why now?”

He shrugged, trying to make it seem like nothing. “I just want Rin to have a normal boyfriend and the child to have a normal parent. And life.”

“Sousuke, you are normal.”

Sure, he though, swallowing hard. So fucking normal.

“I think you are one of the people who learn from others’ mistakes. Not repeat them. Don’t worry.” The doctor put his hand on his shoulder.

“I just…” Sousuke bit his lip and looked down, feeling his hands shaking again. “I just worry I won’t even know… it won’t be my choice and…” He choked, fingers tightening on the frame.

“Come on, sit down.” He looked at him with concern. Sousuke turned, slid down the wall and put his head between his knees. “Slowly breath in and out.” He caressed his back. “When you started having them again?”

“I don’t… It’s just sometimes, they’re so short they’re over before anyone could notice. It’s okay, really.” Sousuke leaned against the wall. Ignoring tiredness for the whole night was starting to get to him.

“Maybe you should talk with…”

“No.” He cut him off quickly.

“Sousuke…”

“No.”

*

Rin opened his eyes slowly and stretched. He smiled for the first time not feeling ill right in the morning. Whatever they gave him, it was obviously working.

He looked to his left and saw Sousuke sitting on a chair, cheek supported with his hand. He was pale and there were dark circles under his eyes. He clearly didn’t go home to change, the black clothes from the night still on him.

Rin reached for him and shook his knee. Sousuke jerked awake, wincing as the pain shot through his neck. He massaged it, looking up a little unconsciously at Rin.

“Come here.” Rin grasped his hand and pulled him towards the bed.

Sousuke lay by him without a word, arm around his middle, head on his chest. Rin smiled and kissed the top of his head, Sousuke’s hair tickling his nose. Sousuke was asleep seconds later.

Rin stroked his hair softly, listening to his quiet breathing.

The doctor came in quietly and smiled at them.

“Hello, I am doctor Oshiro.” He shook hands with Rin. “I will be taking care of you from now on, so I thought I will introduce myself.”

“Thank you.” Rin thought the man looked trustworthy.

“I am also his doctor and took care of his mom when she was pregnant with him, as you see I’ve done a pretty good job so you do not need to worry.” He pointed at Sousuke who mumbled something in his sleep, hair pointing in all the possible directions from Rin playing with them.

Rin giggled.

“So… How are you feeling, Rin?”

“Much better.”

“That’s fantastic. I’ve checked and they just gave you vitamins you were missing and some anti sickness pills. Now, I will write you a note so you can buy them and know how to take them. I think the other doctor told you how to take care of yourself, already. Yes?” Rin nodded. “Remember that if there would be anything wrong, just call, no matter the time.”

Rin smiled in relief. It was good having a kind doctor who clearly knew what he was doing. It made him feel a little more relaxed.

Sousuke moved a little, restless, making Rin stroke his hair to calm him down but it did not work, Sousuke only tensed more.

“Wake him up, he has a nightmare,” the doctor said quietly.

Rin shook Sousuke’s shoulder a little, making him jerk awake. Sousuke looked up, for a minute seemed like he did not know where he was, and then mumbled;

“Why am I laying on you?”

“Because I pulled you on me.”

“Hm.” Sousuke nodded, made himself comfortable and fallen asleep again.

Rin snorted and hid his face in his hair, arms tightening around Sousuke who let a happy sight out. The doctor shook his head, smile on his face.

“Rest some more then, I will prepare you a note for noon.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“You’re welcome.” He patted his leg and left.

“Are you testing my parenting skills, you big infant?” Rin kissed the top of Sousuke’s head.

“Mhm.”

*

When Rin woke up again, he noticed surprised that Sousuke was gone. The doctor came in and handed him a note, so he dressed himself up and made his way out.

Seriously? He finds out he is pregnant with his child, lets him sleep on him, and he does not even pick him up from a hospital? Pffff.

“Oh my god.”

Once he exited the hospital, he noticed that right in front of it stood a car with a massive ribbon at the top of it. Sousuke, who was clean-shaven and wore new clothes, grinned, bright smile, sitting on its front.

“What’s going on?” Rin asked, eyes big.

The car was white, so clean it shined, clearly new.

Sousuke stood up and spread his arms. “I wanted to buy you a present. Since you can’t drive and the quicker you learn then better, I thought I would buy you an automatic, and not the biggest one there is. Should be comfortable for a first car.” He patted the hood. “But of course…” He quickly looked at Rin. “If you don’t like it, we can change it!”

“No, it’s…” Rin was speechless. “I don’t know what to say.” He smiled. “Pink ribbon? Really?”

“For my princess, of course.” Sousuke walked up to him and embraced him. Rin hugged him tight, laughing.

“You’re crazy.” Rin kissed him.

“Mhmm, you need to give me a lift now.”

“Oh no I am not driving it in front of everyone from the get go!”

Sousuke kissed his cheek. “Okay. I will drive us to the factory, you can start there, no cars or people.” They made their way to the car.

“That factory?”

Sousuke stopped. “I am sorry, I…”

“It is fine.” Rin smiled. “Let’s go.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!

When Rin sat in the car he looked around, smile growing bigger on his face.

He was sitting in his own car.

Pretty, white, with red leather inside, not too big, not too small… It was so him. Sousuke knew him so well.

They did not even talk about cars before. Rin did not feel the need to learn how to drive one yet. He wasn’t exactly a fan, he did not know a lot, most from what he managed to learn from Sousuke in the past few months. Now not only Sousuke bought him a car, a freaking car, but he also cared so much about making sure he would love it. That it will feel his, too.

Rin clapped his hands in excitement when Sousuke turned the engine on and the car made a low noise. Sousuke grinned to him and started reversing. Soon they were on the road.

Rin focused on the car, not the fact that the factory they were heading to was the one where Sousuke killed someone a few hours earlier.

If Sousuke could live with murdering people, Rin had to live with the knowledge that he was doing it. Maybe it was awful. Maybe it made him a bad person. But Rin was not going to break up with him because of it.

He loves him. He wants to be with him. And now they also are going to have a child.

He cares about them. Not what others think or what the morals say.

Sousuke was good to him and this was the only thing important to him.

God if his mother would hear him.

But he had his own family now.

He made his choice.

He looked at Sousuke, who was focused on the road. A few months ago he was crying in his bed because he thought a boy he loved did not return his feelings. It seemed so childish to him now. Today he was sitting in a car bought by the same boy, with him by his side, pregnant with his child, ensured that this guy would do everything for him and loved him unconditionally.

And, uh, turns out he belongs to Yakuza, his father is the boss of all the bosses, and one day he will take his place.

You cannot plan your life. Rin definitely learned that.

He put the palm of his hand on his stomach.

Everything was so surreal; he was beginning to accept easily whatever life was throwing at him.

Sousuke seemed anxious to him. There was a smile on his face, he looked happy. But when Rin starred at him for a longer time, he noticed how it all seemed a little fake. His eyes were tired, his hands were shaking a tiny bit on the wheel instead of holding it with ease as always.

Maybe he just needed some time.

When they arrived, Rin took a deep breath in. Sousuke smiled at him, unbuckled the belt and walked out. Rin looked at him slightly terrified when he opened the door and seeing him not moving unbuckled him too and pulled out of the car.

“What if I’m going to kill us?”

“Then you’re going to kill us.”

Rin sent him a death stare.

“It’s an automatic. There’s nothing easier,” he reassured him and Rin sat behind the wheel, Sousuke by him.

“So. You turn the engine on, remember to let the keys go once the car starts…” Rin did as told, excitement building up in him. “You only have two pedals. The one on the right is your accelerator, and the one in the middle is your break. I’ve got a handbreak here.” He patted it. “So don’t worry, I can always stop us.”

“That’s it?”

“Yep. Make sure you’re sitting comfortably, and that you see well. Middle mirror and those on the sides.” Sousuke pointed at them.

“Okay…”

“The car is pretty powerful, so add power slowly because it will throw you to the front otherwise. After a few minutes you will start feeling the car so you will know how to press. Ready?”

Rin smiled at him.

“What?”

“Can I call you Mr instructor?”

“Why?”

Rin shrugged. “You’re hot all bossy. It turns me on.” He winked, placing his hands on the steering wheel.

Sousuke cocked an eyebrow and moved closer to him. “Start driving, Matsuoka, or I will spank your ass.”

Rin grinned and kissed his lips loudly. “Yes, sir.”

He pressed his leg on the pedal.

And shouted when they got thrown to the front. He quickly pressed the break.

Sousuke looked at him terrified. “I said… slowly.”

Rin took his slightly shaking leg off the break and very, very lightly started pressing the right pedal. He squeaked in happiness when the car slowly moved forward.

Sousuke wasn’t saying anything, so he decided to just drive around. It was stupidly exciting driving in circles. Or snakes.

He had a car. He was driving. HE WAS DRIVING. Ahahaha!

“This is so cool. And I am so good at it.” Rin said awhile later after he done an u-turn again.

Sousuke scratched his head. “Aren’t you getting bored a little?”

“No, it’s amazing. Nyoom.” Left. Right. Left. Right. He was doing a snake!

“Rin, come on.”

“What?”

“You’ve been driving at the slowest speed possible and that in circles for the past hour.” Sousuke looked a little green.

“But I am driving.”

Sousuke sunk in his sit.

“Okay, okay. What’s next.”

*

“This was so amazing.” Rin jumped out of the car once they arrived at Samezuka, and he threw himself in Sousuke’s arms. “Thank you!” It came out a little mumbled as he pressed his mouth to his neck, arms and legs around Sousuke.

“I am glad you liked it.” Sousuke held him tight.

Rin kissed his cheek and then lips and grinned at him. “You’re amazing you know that?”

Sousuke laughed.

“Sousuke! Rin!”

Sousuke let Rin stand up when Momo and Ai ran towards them.

“We thought you’re going to miss the party!”

“What party?” They asked at once.

“It’s my birthday! And Ai’s tomorrow so we’re throwing a party together!”

Sousuke and Rin quickly looked at each other. Shit. They completely forgot about it.

“Happy Birthday, guys!” Sousuke found his voice first. “I need to quickly see my dad, you know, but I will be back soon.” Rin quickly looked at him. He did not need to see his father. “Rin will stay.” He kissed the top of his head and soon he was gone, without another word.

“Well, then.” Rin smiled. “Where’s the party?”

“Everywhere!”

*

They were not lying. With others helping them they really decorated whole Samezuka in balloons, banners. The party was outside, drinks and BBQ by the pool. Apparently being so focused on his own problems he had missed everything that was happening in the actual school.

Clearly, Ai and Momo became pretty popular. Well, he could not blame it. Momo definitely knew how to put attention on himself. He was hilarious. Ai did not have much choice since Momo decided he was going to be his best friend. He did not seem too upset about it, though.

He grabbed a hamburger with a drink and sat himself by the pool outside. Most of the games were already over, now people were mainly eating, some were dancing to the music. It was a nice day, warm, the skies were getting dark so the fire gave a nice warm touch.

He wondered where Sousuke went. He figured out he went to buy presents for the guys since they had nothing for them. What else?

“Pssst.”

Rin jumped startled and quickly turned around. Sousuke was standing with two boxes wrapped in decorative paper in his hands.

“Come on, we have to give them presents from us.” He winked.

Rin chuckled. “Nice to have a clever boyfriend.”

“More like, with a quick reflex.”

Rin stood up and they went to Ai and Momo who were chatting with a group of friends.

“Oi there, kids. Don’t think we’re awful friends.” Sousuke shook the presents in front of himself.

Ai and Momo squeaked happily. Rin looked at them curiously as they started unpacking their presents. He tried not to laugh when he saw them unpack two big plushie toys. Their spirit animals.

They threw themselves at their necks and hugged them tight. They smiled, hugging it out with them.

Soon they were back to party.

*

“Good idea with the plush toys.” Rin put his cheek on Sousuke’s shoulder. They were sat by the pool, jeans pulled up, legs in the water, watching people dancing around, eating bbq, laughing.

It was such a nice day.

“Most stores were already closed so I had to buy them something from the big one over there.” He pointed behind himself. “Luckily at least they had that.”

“They like it, so it’s all good.” Rin kissed him behind his ear. “Thank you for my present, too.”

“You already thanked me.” He smiled.

“I want to do something big for you. You take me on those expensive trips, buy me stuff, and I…”

“And you tolerate what I am.”

“Who you are, not what you are, stop talking about yourself like that.” Rin nudged him in the ribs. “Get some bbq, you have to be starving.”

“Not really.” Sousuke shrugged.

“Have you eaten anything today?”

“Not really.” He lay down, arms behind his head. “Not hungry.” He closed his eyes, relaxed smile on his face.

“You cannot not eat.” Rin looked at him with concern and squeaked when Sousuke tugged him down, until he lay with his head on his chest.

“Already such a mom, huh?”

“Hey!”

Sousuke chuckled. “By the way… I think it would be the best to keep it to ourselves. We have only a few weeks left of school. You won’t even start showing, probably.”

“I think so, too.”

“What about the swimming, though…”

“I will swim. There are only finals and then we’re free.”

“I don’t want you to overwork yourself.”

“I won’t.”

Sousuke sighed. “Okay.”

Rin kissed his cheek and smiled. “I love you.”

“Of course.”

“Hey!”

*

Rin splashed water on his face. He was getting ready for a dinner at Sousuke’s father’s club. He had a bad feeling. There was no way Takeshi invited Makoto and Haru for a meal out of sympathy. What sympathy? They stalked him. Rin was surprised they were not dead already.

He really could not care less about Haru, but he felt sorry for Makoto. Makoto who did not want to go there, who was intelligent enough to know where to not dig. Haru did not even care about his boyfriend enough to think that for his safety it would be better to stop searching. He pulled him in it instead.

Rin was always terrified for Sousuke even though he knew that he was trained to keep himself safe. Why Haru wasn’t most worried for Makoto who did not know how to keep himself safe at all?

He walked out of the room and looked at Sousuke, reading some documents from his father. He was already dressed, and Rin eyed the leather jacket, smiling to himself.

“You’re starring.” Sousuke said without lifting his eyes away from the documents.

“You’re handsome, what can I do?” Rin smiled cheekily.

Sousuke laughed. “Do you want something?”

Rin gasped dramatically. “How can you say that?”

He shook his head. “Ready? We should be going.”

“Yep!”

*

“Look at this beaut.” Sousuke gasped looking at the Ferrari parked in front of the club. “So beautiful.”

Rin looked at it. Well, it was a nice car.

“I love matte black. And those wheels. All black. It’s so beautiful.”

“I don’t think I have ever heard this many compliments from you at once.” Rin rolled his eyes.

He turned hearing a laugh. Kisumi, cheerful as always, was walking towards them.

“You tell him, Rin. It’s some weird fetish, I’m telling you.”

Rin laughed with him, seeing Sousuke shaking his head at them, walking around the car.

“Come on, let’s get inside.” Sousuke ignored their giggles and pushed them towards the club.

*

Rin was surprised to see other gangsters and their children sitting around a table. Everybody was in cheerful moods, and he surprisingly quickly got involved in the current conversation. He wondered whether he was more at ease, or they were starting to trust him a little more.

Sousuke was asked on the side by Takeshi, but Rin did not worry, seeing them grinning while talking. They seemed excited about something and that did make him think. Did Takeshi seriously invite everybody to the dinner to bond them? That sounded laughable even in his own mind.

Maybe they were supposed to meet today anyway.

Or maybe they were planning something.

He looked at Sousuke who was smirking. He nodded to his father, and soon they were all sitting together again. After a few minutes, Iwatobi arrived. Rin wasn’t surprised to see Nagisa and Rei, although it made him lose any sympathy he possibly could have had for Haru.

Seriously, you’ve pulled Makoto into this crap, nearly getting him killed, and now Nagisa and Rei?

They did not seem scared, though, rather cheerful, which ensured him that they had no idea what was going on.

Oh boy.

Makoto smiled a little weakly at him, and Rin showed him to sit by him and Sousuke. Somehow the conversations continued, and everybody relaxed. Well, Haru wasn’t talking, unsurprisingly, while Nagisa was chattering for five people at once, but at least it all flowed.

“Why you’re not drinking?” Kisumi sighed, seeing Rin ordering a pepsi, not an alcohol like Sousuke.

Rin gaped a little, not knowing how to explain it.

“Leave him alone, he agreed to drive us back.” Sousuke downed his drink.

Bless his quick reflex.

“Nice heels, chick.” Hinata looked at Kisumi’s legs.

“I’m not a chick.”

“You’ve got heels on.”

“Did not cut my dick with it.”

“Yeah, but…”

“No.” Kisumi rolled his eyes.

Sousuke snorted in his drink. “Oh, Hinata.”

“Whatever, man. If you can run in them, I don’t mind.”

“I can shove both heels up your ass, don’t dare me.”

Hinata moved a little away from him, bumping into Ryo.

“Aren’t you in a fighter mood, today?” Sousuke chuckled.

Kisumi sent him a beautiful smile.

“Oi.” Rin kicked him jokingly under the table.

“Gosh, you’re a jealous one. Don’t worry, he is too into you.” Kisumi lifted his hands up in defence with a sigh.

Rin smiled when Sousuke placed a kiss on his cheek. Kisumi sighed and turned his head away.

It made Rin wonder…

But then he noticed the police. Five guys, dressed in uniforms, and no one else but Haru’s father in front of them. Rin looked shocked at Sousuke, but there was curiosity on his face, already starring at them. Takeshi finished his drink and surprised stood up and spread his arms, welcoming them.

“What did I do to deserve this pleasure?”

“Mr Yamazaki…” A policeman standing on Nanase’s right began when Nanase interrupted him.

“We were given information that there are drugs in this place, and… Haru?!” His mouth opened in shock.

Everybody looked at his son, who froze, eyes big starring at him.

“What are you doing here?” he whispered, not believing that his son, his precious, good son was sitting between people that belonged to mafia, people that he detested.

“Dad, I…” Haru choked on his words.

Rin could see the curiosity on other policemen’s faces. The sudden doubt.

“I hope you understand we have to do a check right now…” The other officer decided to go back to work, putting his attention on Takeshi.

“Of course.” Takeshi smiled kindly.

Rin looked at Sousuke with worry. He hoped he had nothing on himself. This could end so badly…

Sousuke smiled at him and kissed his cheek again.

And then it all started clicking in place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments xxxxx


	28. Love me like you do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're the light, you're the night  
> You're the color of my blood  
> You're the cure, you're the pain  
> You're the only thing I wanna touch  
> You're the fear, I don't care  
> Cause I've never been so high

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @hissorihaka who dedicated this beauty to me:  
> http://hissorihaka.tumblr.com/post/113944849489/1  
> Thank you love!
> 
> Longest chapter yet :)

They stood on the side as the police started searching through the club. The found absolutely nothing, and that was when they started searching them.

Rin wanted to bite their hands off when they started patting them all over him.

He was fucking pregnant, of course he had no drugs on himself. He breathed out in relief when they obviously found nothing on Sousuke either. Actually they found nothing on any of the gangsters, which only ensured him that they all had to know. This was why they were clean and happy.

This was why Haru was invited.

So his father would see him and get pissed.

“Them, too.” The officer told Nanase, pointing at Iwatobi boys.

“That’s my child, what are you suggesting!” He looked at him surprised. “Of course they have no drugs on themselves!”

“Why are you so scared of checking them, then?” Takeshi snorted.

“You shut your…”

“Nanase!” The officer snapped.

“Of course. Kids, please.” He looked at them apologetically.

Takeshi sighed theatrically, looking at his watch. “Your pointless raids are costing me a lot of money.”

“I am sorry, Mr Yamazaki, but we have to inspect when we receive information.”

Takeshi shook his head a little, but the attention quickly moved from him to no one else but Haru.

Rin’s jaw dropped when one of the officers pulled out a tiny bag with white powder in it from Haru’s jacket pocket.

Nanase paled.

“Haru, what…”

“Dad, that’s not mine! I did not do it!” Haru panicked.

Sousuke snorted and Kisumi started laughing. Takeshi cocked his eyebrow and looked at Nanase. He gasped dramatically.

Nanase was right in his face a second later. “I know it’s you! You or one of your dogs put it in his jacket, and…”

Takeshi grinned, not moved by how close Nanase was to him. Instead, he bent a little to get even closer and whisper in his ear;

“Prove it.”

Nanase hissed, mad at this point, hands curled into fists. Rin took a step forward, instinct telling him that something will happen to Takeshi, but the bodyguards were faster. Before he moved they were right in front of Takeshi, blocking Haru’s father’s way to him.

“I’d really appreciate if you’d take your little drug addict and leave now.” Takeshi looked at the main officer, smile gone off his face.

Rin wasn’t sure whether he was playing, or someone threatening him was such an insult to him.

“I am sorry, Mr Yamazaki. This won’t happen ever again.” He grabbed Nanase’s arm and dragged him away. Haru was put in handcuffs, his friends starring in shock, not knowing what to do. He was white in the face, just like his father.

They all went out, Makoto asking what he was supposed to do. Nanase told them to just go back home and leave them alone. They were stressed, hands shaking.

The gangsters were watching everything like an entertaining show. Rin could hear laughs, Sousuke wasn’t hiding a smile either, since the beginning standing a little in front of him, keeping him safe. Kisumi was hanging on his arm, booing, humiliating and making the situation worse. For the policemen, not for them, of course.

Rin looked at Takeshi, standing by Isao’s side, triumph on his face. He waved when they drove away, Makoto, Nagisa and Rei quickly following them in their own car.

“Oi, boss! I have it all recorder!” A shout from the other side.

Takeshi laughed. “Good job! You know where to send it.”

“You assholes.” Isao shook his head, but he definitely did not look mad.

Takeshi walked over to Sousuke and patted his shoulder. “Good job, I’m proud.”

Rin looked at him in disbelief and then sighed. He should have expected it.

“So, I guess you deserve a little prize.”

Sousuke was suddenly very interested, making others laugh. Takeshi pointed at the car in front of them. The one Sousuke was fawning over earlier.

“Do you like it?”

“Oh God, is it yours?”

“No, it’s yours.” Takeshi showed him keys and dangled them in front of his face. 

Sousuke grinned and took them quickly, but when he made his way to the car, Takeshi grabbed the back of his jacket.

“Not when you’re drunk. Especially not when Nanase is waiting to lock us up in revenge. You will have to wait until tomorrow.”

“Daaaad.”

“No. Come on, we have things to celebrate.”

*

Rin watched with fascination how happy they all became once Nanases were successfully put in trouble. Takeshi ordered champagne for every single person at the club, and then spent the night getting himself more and more drunk, laughing until there were tears on his cheeks.

It was interesting how open and happy he became once he was drunk around people he knew. And he was all over Isao. His arm did not leave his shoulders for more than a few seconds.

But the best thing about the night was seeing Sousuke happy.

He was laughing. There were happy tears running down his cheeks. He was singing, talking, dancing, and taking Rin everywhere with him.

Rin shook his head, smile on his face when he felt a kiss on his neck again. Sousuke had issues keeping his hands to himself. Big issues.

Rin was not planning to let him snog him in front of everybody, though.

“Sousuke…” He chuckled feeling a kiss on his cheek, hand making his way up his thigh.

“Hmm?”

“We should head back now, I think.” The last word was mumbled, as Sousuke kissed his lips.

“Let’s get a hotel room,” he whispered in his ear.

“You’re drunk.”

“Still know my pin code.”

Rin laughed.

“Okay.”

*

He opened his eyes in the morning, white material covering his body, the sun shining bright. Sousuke was lying by him on his back, one arm thrown over his face as his uncovered chest lifted up and down slowly. Rin touched the hard abs softly, not wanting to wake him up.

The night was… different.

Now he realised how careful and slow Sousuke was with him all those past weeks, so patient and not wanting to let him feel any pain at all. Everything was at Rin’s slow pace, soft kisses, long foreplay, letting him relax so he would feel nothing but love and pleasure.

Being drunk and horny Sousuke forgot a little about sensitivity.

And Rin loved it.

Sousuke kept hands to himself in the car and then reception, but in the lift he stood behind him and brought arms around his middle, placing kisses on his neck. Rin pulled him after himself towards the room, but that was the end of him taking control.

He was quickly pressed to the nearest wall after the door closed after them. The kisses were heated, no time for soft whispers. Sousuke’s hands found its way under his clothes quickly, nearly tearing them off him. He threw him on the bed and quickly moved between his naked legs, taking his own shirt and jeans off, hard in his pants.

Rin wasn’t sure whether he preferred stripping clothes off Sousuke, or seeing him stripping off in front of him.

Sousuke was gorgeous. Rin loved his sharp features, high cheekbones, clever teal eyes and soft pink lips. Black hair he adored running his hands through. He loved how he was taller, his body was bigger than his, perfect muscles no fat, yet so soft in touch. He felt so safe with him and loved the feeling of his perfect warm body against his. 

There were kisses, bites. Rin’s back arched, he wasn’t sure whether he was moaning or screaming from pleasure. He was completely gone in it. Sousuke just knew what to do all the time to make him feel as good as never before. He felt high. Everything was happening quickly, his body moved as Sousuke wanted it. On his back, on his knees, on Sousuke’s lap. He wasn’t telling him to move, he was moving him himself, taking complete control.

He owned him that night. Completely.

And it was beyond hot and sexy.

He could remember scratching Sousuke’s back, lips locked, as they both sweaty came together.

*

Sousuke moved and hissed. Rin smirked. Hello, hangover.

“Ugh, my head.”

“Ugh, my ass.” Rin mocked him.

His body was aching. Not uncomfortably so, but it was different from everything he felt previously. That night for the first time he really felt the other side of Sousuke. The dark one.

Sousuke looked at him quickly, worry on his face.

“Yesterday…” He started.

“I’m fine.” Rin stopped him quickly, placing his hand on Sousuke’s cheek. “Please don’t worry.”

He finally realised there was something about the way Sousuke was acting lately. Yesterday, finally happy, drunk, a little drugged, he was laughing with everybody, joking and talking. He was so free of any troubles, it was making Rin smile simply watching him, laughing at how hilarious Sousuke was becoming when drunk. Today sober he was already anxious and worried.

He shouldn’t need to get drunk to relax, though. Rin wanted him free and happy every day, not only on occasions.

“Did I hurt you?”

“I loved everything you did.” Rin reassuringly kissed him on the lips, hands tugging on his hair until Sousuke lay between his legs. “Loved it. But only in bed, you’re not going to push me around everywhere.” He showed him his tongue.

Sousuke snorted and hid his face in his neck. Rin smiled and hugged him, kissing the top of his head.

“I love you.”

He could feel Sousuke’s smile. “I love you, too.”

Rin loved all of him. He was perfect and Rin was the luckiest to be with him, as simple as that.

*

They ate breakfast together, the day young. Rin tried not to eat all the grapes available on the table. He watched Sousuke mainly stuffing himself with coffee, looking so different. Yesterday he was so dark, without a blink screwing Nanases up, happy when he succeeded and made his father proud. Then he was passion, making him scream in pleasure, kissing, biting, and whispering dirty things in his ear as he fucked him, owning his body completely, doing whatever he wanted with him.

It was the first time they did not make love. That was pure sex.

Now he was sitting in front of him, looking so peaceful. Black hoodie, eyes a little tired, little relaxed smile on his face as he spread the butter on his bread, soft hair refusing to stay in one place. He looked adorably innocent, more like the Sousuke he thought he was back in the day. When he wasn’t aware of the other side of him yet.

Maybe having a few faces was running in the family.

Sousuke’s phone rang so he picked it up with a yawn.

“Hey, dad.”

Silence.

“Yeah, no worries. I remember everything. See you.”

“Sorry.” He turned back to Rin. “It was dad.”

“What did he want?”

“He needs me tonight.” He mumbled, mouth full.

“What about training?”

Sousuke winced. “Shit. I will train during the night. Or early morning.”

“And you’re going to sleep when?”

He shrugged.

“Sleep is pretty important, you know.” Rin sighed.

“Don’t worry about me.”

Rin shook his head. Sousuke cared so little about himself, yet so much about everybody else, it was destructive. He was going to hurt himself one day. Rin could not let him do it.

“You know, you’re taking it all better than I thought.”

Rin blinked. “What?”

“Pregnancy.” Sousuke smiled, pouring more coffee in his cup.

“Yeah.” Rin ate another grape. Their child will be some grapes maniac. “It’s just… Well, nothing we can do. I think it’s going to be okay. Your father did not scream, maybe my mother won’t disown me either.”

“Of course she won’t.”

“I am just sad that I won’t continue my career.” Rin smiled a little weakly.

He tried to not think about it. But that was it. His career was over.

“Don’t say that. You’re going to give birth and come back!” Sousuke was surprised.

“After so many months?” Rin shook his head. “Besides, then I will need to take care of the baby, anyway.”

Unexpectedly he wasn’t devastated. With everything that happened in the last months, swimming wasn’t so important anymore. He loved it, as did Sousuke, but he realised it couldn’t be the only thing he cares about anymore. And he couldn’t prioritise it over their child especially. He had a family now, time to change priorities. His sucked anyway.

“We are going to take care of the baby. We have families who will help us. And if not them, then we have enough money for babysitters. You do not need to give up on your dream.” Sousuke pointed his fork at him. “You will give birth, we will get you a coach, and get you ready for Olympics. I could do it after nearly dying of cancer, you will do it easily after pregnancy.”

Rin was sometimes jealous of how easily Sousuke was sorting everything out. He was always like this. He wanted something, he planned it out, he did it. There were no ‘but’, no ‘I can’t do it’. 

“Sousuke…”

“Hm?”

“What are your dreams?”

“You’re my dream.” Sousuke smiled. He wasn’t lying. Rin was his dream and he already got more than he ever wanted.

“What about swimming?” He reached to grasp his hand across the table. Of course he was touched, but he wanted Sousuke to care about himself, too.

“You know I want to go for Olympics, but things changed. I will see.” He shrugged. “It’s not that important anymore.”

“You were accepted in most prestigious universities. You can’t give that up, Sousuke.”

Rin would not let him. Sousuke put so much hard work into swimming, he won so many prestigious awards already, he was one of the top ten swimmers, and that all after he had to fight with cancer and then work even harder to be the champion again. He was someone to look up to. He was idolised by many. Anyone who watched sport news heard his name over and over again. He could not just stop fighting for more now.

Rin was jealous of how good he was.

“There are things more important than swimming.” He smiled. “I need to think about yours and the baby’s good first. And then there’s Yakuza. It’s not that easy.”

“Your dad wanted you to go to Australia to swim.”

“I’d prefer us to stay in Japan. I really trust the doctor who is going to take care of you. I know he will do everything for you.”

“He took care of your mom, didn’t he?”

“Yeah…”

Rin smiled. Of course Sousuke was prioritising them over himself. But if Sousuke so easily found a way for him to fulfil his dream one day, he will find a way Sousuke could fulfil his swimming dream, too. He deserved it like no one else.

“We will figure it all out. So three of us are happy.” Rin touched his hand.

Sousuke winked to him. “Sure thing.”

“There’s one thing we have to do soon, though.”

“What is it?”

“We have to tell my mom.”

*

Rin pretended to read his book, but his eyes were on Sousuke who was currently changing. They were in their room at Samezuka and Sousuke was getting ready for whatever his father told him to do.

He was calm but then Sousuke put a bulletproof vest on.

“What exactly are you going to do today?” Rin put the book away and sat up on the bed.

“Don’t worry about it.” Sousuke hid the gun and a knife in his clothes.

“Sousuke…”

He smiled and quickly sat by him to pull him over himself and kiss. “I am trained, I am going to be fine.”

“Does your dad know you’re going to be a dad?” He reminded him, worry building up in him.

Sousuke laughed. “I am going to be fine,” he repeated. “Wish me luck today, okay?”

“Of course.” He put the palms of his hands on cheeks and kissed him on the lips. “I am just really worried, I don’t know what’s going on…”

“This is very important for me so I need you to cross fingers for me.” He kissed him again.

“Why is it so important?”

“Well… We join Yakuza at the age of sixteen, but proper initiation is when we reach eighteen. Part of it is doing something to prove how valuable you are. And since I am suppose to be the boss and people like saying that I have it easier because my father is the boss of them all, I wanted to do something very impressive.”

“Show off.”

Sousuke laughed. “Once this is over in the morning, there’s only ceremony left.”

“Is it dangerous, too?”

“No, it’s when we get the first tattoo.”

“Oh, okay.” He brushed his hair back and kissed his forehead. “Be careful. Remember you have a kid to raise.”

“This is going to be your argument from now on, huh?”

“Yup.”

Sousuke smiled and hugged him, surprising Rin a little. He wasn’t one to go for simple hugs.

He could still remember when Sousuke was terrified of human touch. The memory made his heart ache. But at least he did something right in his childhood.

Rin brought his arms around him tightly. “I will be waiting for you.”

Sousuke kissed the side of his head, when the phone rang. “I have to go.”

*

“Okay. Can you hear me well?”

Takeshi stood in the living room of one of his houses. Around him were his people, some of them were typing furiously on the computers, some were contacting others on the phone, some were simply watching.

Isao stood right by him.

They both had small headphones over their ears, and a microphone attached to them close to their mouths.

“Yes.”

“Remember listen to everything I say, then everything will be fine.”

“I know.”

Takeshi smiled to himself.

“Sir, we have a view of the place.”

“Fantastic.” Takeshi put his hands together. “We’re ready.”

*

Getting inside the building was not trouble at all for Sousuke.

His father told him some time ago about the large diamond held in the bank and how much he wanted it. This was when Sousuke told him that he would do it as his initiation job.

His father refused, saying that it was too dangerous. It took awhile, lots of convincing until he agreed.

Sousuke not only wanted to prove to everybody that he is fit to be in Yakuza, to be the highest rank, to be the boss one day, and boss of his own group now. His father climbed up the ladder on his own, and so will Sousuke. Since he could he was working to have his own money, trying to use as little of his father’s as he could. Besides, he was simply sick of the whispers how he has it easy.

But he also wanted to impress his father. As simple as that. He wanted to show his father that he is capable, strong… and he wanted to make him happy.

He was training him since Sousuke got healthy and Sousuke wanted to use this exact knowledge finally. Killing was easy. Breaking in, stealing wasn’t.

He was doing exactly what his father was telling him, the earphone secure in his ear. The most difficult was getting through lasers, ensuring he won’t touch any of them. It was a job for skinny flexible people, and while he was flexible, he definitely wasn’t the smallest.

Once it was over, a code here, another there, and he was in.

He was probably going to hear that he is his father’s puppet, like always. There was little he could do about that. Maybe he was. So far he did not lose from being one.

You can change people’s thinking, but not about everything. He won’t waste his time on it.

He cut the glass and carefully, glad his father decided that they can wear masks on their faces instead of the material making you hot and sweaty, took the diamond out. He wrapped it in special material that would secure it, and hid it inside his jacket, under the vest.

Everything was going absolutely fine, but he was stopping himself from feeling excitement, knowing it can ruin everything before it will be finished, especially since he still had to get out of here.

*

“There’s some disturbance.”

Takeshi tensed. Everything was going smoothly for the whole night. Sousuke was absolutely perfect. He did not want it ruined.

It wasn’t even about the diamond. He knew Sousuke did not give a fuck for the diamond either.

This was about placing himself in the highest rank.

Gaining respect.

“Fuck.”

“Put the camera on him, you moron.” Takeshi snapped.

Everything quickly made sense. There was police all around the place.

“Stop,” he said in the microphone. “We’re changing the plan.”

*

Rin turned from one side to another once again. He could not fall asleep and finally with a growl he sat up and turned the TV on.

It was 3am. Sousuke still was not back.

There was nothing on TV so he put news on. There was a live broadcast. Someone stole a diamond from the bank, and now they were trying to get him. They were looking for him, cameras in the helicopters shooting from all the possible places.

Well, at least they were focused on someone else, not Sousuke.

Realising the sleep won’t come anyway, he decided to watch it while waiting for Sousuke. At least it took his mind off the dark thoughts.

He sat right in front of the TV when they spotted him. It was dark and the guy had a mask on so they did not know who he was. He was fast, running faster than the policemen. He was clever and sneaky, constantly losing them. They were finding him, but it was giving him valuable time to run away.

Until he ended up on the bridge.

Rin opened his mouth seeing him jumping up on the railing. In such massive open space, at the top of the river, the wind was fast and he had to hold himself so he wouldn’t be blown away.

The police stopped cars from going through, and stood right in front of him. The yellow, red and blue lights were blinking, putting the man on display, like on a stage.

They were telling him to surrender, pointing guns at him.

His shoulders shook and Rin realised he was… laughing.

Suddenly he jumped.

For a second Rin stopped breathing, thinking he fell. But he did not. They showed him straightening his body, hands like an arrow in front of him. He knew exactly what he was doing.

The police ran to the railing, and looked down.

The guy did not resurface.

“Come on…”

It was probably bad of Rin to cheer for the thief, not for the police, but seeing him putting so much effort into this, he couldn’t help it.

Sousuke would cheer for him, too.

The man resurfaced, making Rin fistbump up in the air. Rin’s jaw dropped when suddenly a boat showed up, which he did not see earlier as it was dark. Now it put the reflectors on, right on the guy and he swam to them quickly. Rin looked at another two men also in masks pulling him out. They were speeding out of there the second his feet touched the floor.

Rin did not realise he was biting his knuckles.

He couldn’t believe when the police lost them but he clapped laughing. He couldn’t wait to tell Sousuke.

The news began talking about the man. They showed pictures, which told little since his face was covered in a mask. It surprised Rin a little, because in the movies people more often covered their whole faces. He wore something that resembled a mask worn for masquerade balls. So detailed, so beautiful.

They showed his jump and the swim, and quickly agreed that he had to be a swimmer. Rin thought so, too. You don’t learn to jump like this and swim over a night.

Sousuke would be impressed. He was such a perfectionist, and it seemed that man was too.

Apparently he was shot, too, but since it only brought him down for a moment, he had to wear protective clothes. Rin saw him holding his ribs when the men pulled him out, but he thought it was from the jump, keeping breath in for long, and freezing water.

He yawned, and hoping he finally was tired enough to fall asleep whether he was worrying or not, he went to the bed. Before falling asleep he texted Sousuke;

[I miss you xxx]

*

“Are you sure you’re not hurt?” Takeshi looked at Sousuke who was putting a fresh shirt on. He had a dark bruise on his right ribs.

“Yes, they’re not broken.” He dried his hair quickly with the towel and threw it on the bed to put rest of the clothes on. “Is the diamond ok?”

Takeshi shook his head. “It’s just a stone. I will transfer money on your account tomorrow.”

“Actually…” Sousuke looked at him and bit the inside of his cheek. “Would you mind… giving me a little bit of that diamond instead?”

“You want a trophy?” Takeshi crossed his arms over his chest.

“Um… Sort of.”

Takeshi cocked an eyebrow in question.

Sousuke did not say anything.

“Oh come on, I’m curious. You’re going to be a dad in eight months, nothing will shock me anymore.”

Sousuke blushed. “Well, uh… I wanted to make a ring out of it.”

“You want to ask him to marry you.”

Silence.

“Sousuke, I understand everything, but aren’t you two moving a little too fast?”

“I wouldn’t ask him already normally,” Sousuke explained. “But since he is pregnant… It’s a right thing to do. You know we did not plan it, we’re not stupid. It happened. I want to be responsible.”

“That’s beautiful of you, Sousuke, but this is yet another responsibility you are giving yourself at the age of seventeen. After dating this boy for a few months. It might seem ages to you now, but trust me, it’s nothing. You two don’t even know each other at this point.”

“We’re already going to have a child, you really think engagement, even marriage, is more tying than a baby?”

Takeshi laughed. “No, of course it isn’t. But I think once the baby is born you two will go through the real test. Maybe it would be better to wait until then? See how you handle having a child first, since you have no choice in that matter, hm?”

Sousuke sighed and sat on the floor, by the bed. He pulled his knees up and put his chin on them.

“I know that we should have dated for years, finished universities, went through Olympics, and then start thinking about becoming a family, having children. It is not our fault Rin got pregnant, we were safe. I think we went through a few small tests already, tests other people do not go through. Rin is still by my side. He still loves me. I still want to be with him. He is very mature about the pregnancy, he prioritised the baby over his career. Rin prioritising things over swimming is really big, dad…”

“I know, he left you for swimming before.”

Sousuke winced. “Rin from a few months ago would not prioritise anyone or anything over swimming. If you’d give him a ticket to a better place to swim, he would leave without looking back, no matter what was happening. Even if we would be together, even if I would need him with me, even if I would be sick. Anything that you’d think a normal person would stay for. And now he is pregnant with my child and said he won’t ever swim again and he is okay with it. He wasn’t crying, he wasn’t angry. He acted really mature about it. He cares for the baby and me. I want to show him that I take him and our relationship seriously, too. I want him to feel safe. Don’t you think he is afraid that he might be left alone? Pregnant? The engagement would make him feel safer. We can wait with marriage, I don’t even know if he will accept the engagement. I want to wait for the right time, anyway. Asking him out right now would be too much. But I want to have the ring just in case. When the right moment will come.”

Takeshi sat by him. “Well, there are always divorces.”

“You can be so mean, you know.” Sousuke bumped in his shoulder.

Takeshi smiled. “I just want you to be happy. I don’t trust him. And you’re blinded by love. You take everything seriously, but you were raised differently, Sousuke. You grew up a long time ago. He is still a kid… carrying a kid. He is trying to be mature now, but trying and being are two different things. But, I do not have a problem with you marrying him simply for that. If you are happy with him, then this is all that matters. I am simply worried because you have a lot on your shoulders and you are putting yet another responsibility on them. You’re going to break, son. You want too much at once. You need to take it easier.”

“I’m fine.”

“Sure you are…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish you all a lovely Easter!  
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments xxx
> 
> PS The Dark Arts was published! :)  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/3647634/chapters/8058663


	29. Femininity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.”  
> ― Coco Chanel, The Gospel According to Coco Chanel: Life Lessons from the World's Most Elegant Woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @ion4ever who drew arts for the last chapter!! Thank you! xxx  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/115873058332/ion4ever-very-fast-doodles-inspired-by

“Morning…”

Rin opened his eyes, the smell of coffee hitting his nose. He smiled and yawned, stretching his muscles.

Sousuke was sitting on the floor by his bed, the plate with breakfast and cup of coffee placed on a little table he put there.

Rin looked at him. Sousuke was fresh out of the shower, his hair still a little wet, comfortable hoodie on. His eyes were really tired, dark shadows underneath them.

“When did you come back?” Rin asked, checking the time. It was ten in the morning. It’s been only a few hours since he fallen asleep.

“A few hours ago.”

“Not many, I went to sleep in the morning.”

Sousuke smiled and pointed at the plate. “Eat.”

“Have you eaten?”

“Mhm.”

“Have you slept?”

“Mhm.”

Rin did not believe him. “Lay by me.”

Sousuke smiled and quickly moved behind him. “I’ve got something for you.” He reached inside the pocket of his sweatpants.

Rin’s jaw dropped when he saw him holding a bracelet, a silver one with shining diamonds all over. “Wow.”

Sousuke grinned and put it around his wrist. “Do you like it?”

“It’s absolutely beautiful.” Rin kissed him. “Thank you.”

“I haven’t gotten anything for you in awhile.”

“Sousuke, you just bought me a car.” Rin shook his head and poked Sousuke’s cheek. “When did you get this? You came back a few hours ago yet had time to sleep, shower, eat, and get me a present?”

“I got you a present some time ago.”

“You smell of chlorine.”

Sousuke smiled, eyes closed. “Mhm.”

“You fool, you just went straight to the swimming pool and then brought me breakfast, didn’t you?” Rin wanted to slap him, but Sousuke already had his eyes closed, cheek pressed to the soft pillow, breathing even. His arm stayed around Rin’s waist.

Rin sighed, kissed his cheek and put his covers over Sousuke. He started eating breakfast after, as quietly as possible to not wake him up, but he was pretty sure Sousuke would not even if Rin started screaming.

*

After the swimming session and coming up with an excuse that Sousuke is ill and therefore unable to attend, he decided to spend some time with other students. He wanted Sousuke to sleep well. And he finally caught up with what was happening in Samezuka.

Funny how boring it all seemed to him now. The gossip would be fascinating to him a year ago, now he was trying to look interested. When your boyfriend dresses up in a bulletproof vest for a night out wherever, you don’t even know, and you stay pregnant with his child worrying… someone breaking up with someone else was simply boring. 

“Nice bracelet!” Momo grinned.

“Cheers.” Rin smiled, touching it. God, it looked expensive. He had to be careful with it.

“Isn’t a bit too girly, even for you?” One of the teammates asked.

“What’s that supposed to mean?’

He shrugged.

“I love it.”

He was used to comments like that. Since he could remember, people always commented about his girly looks. Especially when he was young and did not have big muscles. At the beginning it hurt. And it wasn’t because he wanted to be manly, and the looks were ruining everything.

He felt good looking like that. He did not want to be ashamed. He did not want to put the manly act on. He wanted someone to accept him the way he was. If it was “girly” then so be it.

He secretly cheered for Kisumi, who embraced that side of him, and did not let anyone get to him.

Seeing Sousuke accepting Kisumi, never having any issues with Rin’s looks, buying him pretty things, and not freaking out over the pregnancy… It made him feel more secure and stronger. He cared about Sousuke’s opinion, no one else’s. He was still careful sometimes, and saying ‘no’ to certain things. But he felt like the pregnancy made him crave his feminine side more and more.

He had to talk with Sousuke about it.

“Dude, you can wear two ponytails or braid your hair and put lipstick on, I’m just saying it’s girly.”

“Great idea, mate.” He quickly began braiding his hair, making everybody laugh. 

*

When he walked inside the room, Sousuke was standing there without a tshirt on, wiping his hair with a towel.

“What happened to you?” Rin gasped, seeing a large bruise on his ribs.

Sousuke quickly pulled the shirt down, clearly annoyed he noticed.

“Oh my God.” Suddenly it all clicked. “You’re the guy from yesterday’s live broadcast!”

“Shh!”

Rin shook his head and walked up to him to place his hand on the bruise under the shirt. “They shot you.”

“That’s what the bulletproof vest is for.” He stroked his cheek, seeing his eyes feeling with tears. “Don’t cry, Rin. I am fine. Nothing happened to me.”

Rin hugged him, hiding his face in his shirt. If they only shot somewhere else…

“I like the braid.”

Rin smiled, feeling him touching the side braid he did while sitting with the teammates.

“Kisumi would be jealous of you rocking the feminine things so well.” Sousuke laughed.

“Well, no one can rock the heels like him.”

“Apart from my dad.”

Now Rin laughed.

“This bracelet…” Rin looked at it again. “Did you get it from that bank…”

“Yes.”

Rin bit his lip.

“If you don’t want to wear it, it’s ok. I will buy you something instead.”

“No.” Rin kissed him on the lips. “I will wear it. I love it.”

Sousuke seemed surprised but hugged him tighter.

*

Rin groaned in frustration when he woke up in the night and Sousuke wasn’t by him. He threw a hoodie over himself and made his way to the swimming pool.

Sousuke was missing evening swimming sessions due to working for Yakuza more and more lately. That meant that he was doing homework and swimming during the night.

And that meant he was barely sleeping.

At the beginning he was holding up. Stuffing himself with energy drinks and coffee when he was thinking Rin wasn’t watching. But after some time he became acting like a ghost.

School, Yakuza, swimming, doing homework. Sleeping during breaks between lessons. Rin ensured he ate breakfast in the morning, but he wasn’t sure whether Sousuke was eating later. And weakened like that, he was training for hours during the night.

He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to slap Takeshi or Sousuke more. How the fuck his father did not see what he was doing to his son?

Rin stood on the edge, watching Sousuke swimming continuously without a break. He did get thinner lately. Rin was really starting to worry that he will collapse. If not here, then during doing something for the mafia. He wasn’t sure what would be worse.

He took a ball and threw it at him, finally getting his attention.

“Rin?” He was breathing heavily.

“It’s five in the morning.” He snapped. “What the hell are you doing to yourself?”

“Rin, please, do you have anything important to say? I want to get it over with so I can catch some sleep.”

“You better hurry up then, we start lessons in three hours!” Angry he turned away and made his way out without another word.

His boyfriend was a fucking idiot.

*

“Would you like to go with me to the club today?” Sousuke asked, pouring coffee into a large cup. They were sitting in the school canteen eating breakfast. 

Rin starred at him. Sousuke looked like hell.

“Maybe you will stay and get some sleep finally? It’s the last weekend before nationals.”

“Kisumi’s grandfather is coming over for the weekend. My grandfather’s friend. You know he is going to spy, ask questions, and be an asshole.”

Rin seemed a little confused so he continued; “If you think my dad was crappy to me then you should see how his father treated him. Apparently Isao’s dad was the same. They are going to be fine, but I wanted to be there for Kisumi at least. His grandad’s view did not change, and I’m sure he will be nasty to him. And Kisumi is weird lately, I think there’s something wrong. I want to help.”

“Sure I will go. But please promise me that the weekend is for the two of us, okay?” What he meant, was a bed. He wanted to put Sousuke there, tie him to it, and not let him go until his skin won’t look sickly grey, dark circles beneath his eyes no more.

“I will see what I can do.”

“Sousuke, please.” He whispered.

He looked up surprised. “What’s wrong?”

“Sousuke, do you understand that carrying on like that you’re going to make yourself very ill?” He asked in disbelief that Sousuke did not understand.

“You’re overreacting.”

Rin growled. “I should get an award for not punching you.”

Sousuke laughed.

*

He did notice him putting the belt tighter around his hips that night, but bit his tongue. Dressed nicely, they made their way to the club.

Rin smiled seeing Sousuke in a suit. He looked handsome, even tired and thinner. But Rin was worrying. He just wanted Sousuke to be healthy.

“We’re driving mine or yours?” Rin grinned.

“I don’t mind.” Sousuke smiled.

“Well since that man is so obsessed with gender roles and all maybe you better drive.” Rin scratched his neck.

He laughed. “We’re both guys.”

“If he knew about everything, I’d be a girl to him.”

“If he will say something, I will tell him that the last time I’ve checked you were a boy.”

“Sousuke.” Rin laughed and slapped his arm. “Don’t make him hate you from the get go, you fool.”

“Off you go.” He pushed him towards his car, parked right by his Ferrari. “Unless you want to give this one a go?”

“Do you want to die tonight?”

“Oh, come on!” He clicked it open and pushed Rin in the driver’s sit. He quickly sat by him. “There is a start button, you do not insert a key here. Now, this is a very fast car so you have to be VERY careful, okay?”

Rin looked at him one last time, took a deep breath in, and slowly let it out. The car roared once he turned it on and he bit his lip and as softly as he could press the pedal. He sighed in relief when the car did not go straight into the wall.

*

“I did not break it!” Rin grinned once he parked in front of the club.

Sousuke smiled at him and got out of the car. They went inside and surprised noticed that the few people who were already in the club were watching something happening on the dance floor.

They made their way there, and spotted Takeshi, dressed comfortably in a black hoodie, watching a group of dancers currently dancing as the choreographer was telling them to.

“What’s going on?” Sousuke asked, standing by his father who noticed them and smiled.

“Isao’s father only arrived so they went straight to Isao’s for a night. We’re invited for a dinner tomorrow to them,” he explained.

“Could have texted me,” whined Sousuke.

“I only found out, I knew you’re already on your way here.” He patted his cheek. “I thought you’d like your money, anyway.”

“Well if that’s the case.” Sousuke grinned.

“Hey guys! Mr Yamazaki.” Kisumi showed up behind them and bowed a little to Takeshi.

“What are you doing here?” Sousuke shook hands with him.

“Came for money, what else?”

“People only come to me for money.” Takeshi sighed theatrically. “I will grab it from the office, wait here.”

They sat on the side and chattered. Takeshi shouted for Sousuke to come over a few minutes later so he left Rin and Kisumi alone.

“You look different.” Kisumi cocked his head.

“Huh?” Rin was surprised with his boldness.

“I don’t know. Have you done something with your hair?” He cocked his head the other side.

“No…”

“Hm.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “You could do something different with your hair, it would look nice.”

“Like braids?”

“Yeah why not.” He suddenly seemed excited. “Let me!”

“Wait…” But Kisumi already sat on the back of the sit and started plaiting one side of his hair, and then another.

Sousuke and Takeshi walked up to them, no surprise on their faces. Takeshi quickly went to the dance floor, after throwing Kisumi his envelope with money.

“I see he got you.” Sousuke grinned.

“I’m making him all pretty for you, you should be grateful.” Kisumi took a clip out of his hair and caught both braids in the back, so they would create a little crown around Rin’s head.

“I’m very grateful.” Sousuke winked to Rin.

“You should wear skirts and dresses sometimes.” Kisumi added.

“You think?” Rin asked, smiling a little.

“Don’t you think, Sousuke?”

“I prefer when he doesn’t wear anything, to be fair.”

“Sousuke!” Rin laughed, cheeks burning.

“Put some lipstick on, do your eyelashes, short mini and he will do whatever you want.” Kisumi patted his shoulder and jumped off the sofa to show his tongue to Sousuke who pouted. “I will see you two later!”

And as quickly as he arrived, he disappeared.

Rin cocked an eyebrow. “I wonder if it would really work.”

Sousuke laughed.

*

Rin stood in front of the mirror, turning around. He was starting to show.

It scared him. He wasn’t supposed to. He still had to attend the last race without anyone talking.

His teammates did notice him not being so obsessed with his time anymore. He wanted to be good, but he did not dare to overwork himself knowing it could hurt the baby. But not doing any heavy lifting, and automatically because of pregnancy, his body was becoming softer and rounder.

He turned to look at Sousuke, sleeping, cheek pressed to the soft pillow. Rin finally managed to force him in the bed yesterday night, and Sousuke fallen asleep in seconds. He only moved when Rin left the bed in the morning, to hug the pillow instead of him.

He was already looing better. Still pale, but not sickly looking.

Rin sat by the desk. Today they were invited for a dinner to Isao. He talked yesterday with Sousuke about after. He finally gathered the courage and decided to tell his mom.

It was time. Especially since soon he won’t need to tell her, it would be visible. This is definitely not how he wanted her to find out.

He did not want her to figure out by seeing him in the audience next week either.

So he texted his mom that they will come over for the weekend. It was good for Sousuke, too. A bit of normal family home time should do him good.

Unless his mom will kick them out.

He jumped when his phone beeped suddenly.

[Congratulations! Your item was bought!]

“Yes!” Rin whispered and grinned.

For a very long time he was struggling with what to buy for Sousuke. With every week he only gave Sousuke time to make his trouble bigger.

He did not have money to buy Sousuke a car. Actually he had no money for anything but maybe a nice dinner.

So he decided to sell his poster. Signed poster by one of the most well known athletes in the world. His treasure.

But he knew he would get good money for it. And he had his own best athlete now, anyway.

Now he could invite him to dinner, hotel, and buy him a nice present.

He left the poster with his mom, so it was even more on time to choose to visit her today.

He feared this conversation. Especially since he felt like it will be Sousuke who will receive the biggest backlash. And Sousuke was in such a weird mood lately, that he did not want him to lose control.

And his mother knew how to make people lose it.

He went over to Sousuke and lay by him. Without opening his eyes Sousuke turned around and cuddled him.

“The breakfast will be over in canteen soon…” Rin stroked his hair, letting him hug him.

“I will take you out…” he mumbled in his shirt, pushing Rin on his back and falling asleep with his head on his chest.

*

They woke up in the afternoon and quickly made their way to the nearest café to eat something. Rest of their day was spent on swimming and doing homework, ensuring they won’t have anything to do before Monday.

“Kisumi noticed I got fat yesterday.” Rin murmured, standing in front of the mirror in their room, trying to dress himself up. His pants were too tight.

“He called you fat?!”

“No. He said I look different.”

“How did you translate that into ‘you’re fat’?”

“Because I am!” Rin turned to face him, upper body naked, jeans opened. Sousuke looked terrified sitting on the bed only in his boxers. Rin blinked. “Are you seriously hard from watching me getting dressed?”

“No, that’s me soft, love.” He grinned. “And I thought you’re used to my size now.”

Rin kicked him in the leg.

“Outch!” He massaged it. “Why you did not say anything, we’d go shopping for bigger clothes.”

Rin covered himself with Sousuke’s large shirt and sat on the chair, looking down. He could feel tears filling his eyes.

“Hey…” Sousuke kneeled by him. “It’s barely visible. You wear tight clothes so that’s why they quickly became too tight. I will get dressed up and bring you simply less tight jeans, in your current size, okay?”

Rin nodded and smiled when he kissed his cheek. “I love you.”

*

No tears, and both dressed in comfortable chinos and shirts, they made their way to Isao’s house.

Rin whistled at the beautiful white mansion.

“Your dad pays him well, huh?”

“Dad pays everybody well, he wasn’t ever a scrooge.” Sousuke parked on the side.

“How does it even work? Do you have it written somewhere how much for a dead guy, how much for stealing…”

Sousuke started laughing. “No. There is a job, my dad chooses a person to do it, and you discuss with him; he proposes money and you either agree or not and try to get more out of him.”

“So the better in convincing you are then better for you?”

“Courage is important too.”

“Oh so… Your dad doesn’t like it?”

“Dad has to keep a lot of people in line. If he’d let people talk over him, he wouldn’t be the boss now. He has to keep his authority.”

“I get it.”

At the end of the day, Takeshi was running Yakuza.

Mafia.

He wants someone dead, they die.

The fact that Rin was so close to them, sometimes it made him forget who they really were.

“Speak of the devil…” Sousuke looked in the mirror. There was a roar as a black car driven in and parked by them. “He bought himself another car, I swear to God he is insane…”

Rin chuckled.

“Come on then. Time for a family meeting.” He raised his hand to fistbumb with Rin.

Rin smiled when after Sousuke grasped his hand and kissed it.

When they were little and fitbumbed for the first time… never would have they thought that one day they would alter it so it would include a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for kudos, comments, and messages! xxx


	30. Killing my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world is my playground and I refuse to follow.  
> Fly with me falling through the night,  
> fly with me falling out of sight, find me hold me  
> in your arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @ion4ever who drew this beauty for me, for Invincible:  
> http://ion4ever.tumblr.com/post/116642747497/nightcloak-look-i-tried-to-draw-that-thing-for

“New car? Really?” Sousuke shook his head when his father stood by them.

“Don’t be jealous, I just bought you one.” Takeshi smirked and pointed at his Maseratti. “New. All black. Matte finish.”

“Are you coming or not?”

They heard a shout and turned to look at Isao. Kisumi showed up by him and waved to them.

“We’re coming!” Takeshi smiled.

Rin felt a little too casual in his clothes, seeing them in suits.

“You rounded up, didn’t you?” Takeshi suddenly looked at him.

“Dad, seriously?!” Sousuke snapped.

Rin looked down.

“Oh goodness, I did not mean it in a bad way.” Takeshi quickly explained himself and put his finger under Rin’s chin to lift it a little. “I meant you look absolutely lovely.” He winked and went quickly towards Isao.

Rin moved only when Sousuke tugged him, shocked Takeshi could actually be nice to him. Did he want something?

*

The house was different than Yamazakis. While they liked simplicity that screamed money, Isao liked details.

Just like their tattoos.

The mansion was very clean, automatically making Rin paranoid he will dirty something by accident. White walls, shiny floor, and lots of crystals. The dining room was only divided with the bar where were a lot of drinks, windows filling one side completely.

Isao’s wife and his father were sitting by the table already and Kisumi quickly joined them. The man stood up to shake hands with Takeshi and Sousuke.

“This is Rin, my boyfriend.” Sousuke said proudly, putting his hand on Rin’s shoulder.

He warned Rin that the man might have a weird reaction, but before he was given time to say anything, Isao clasped his hands together and told them to sit. The man did not seem too happy with that, eyes on Rin, but did not comment.

Employers walked out of the kitchen and served them food. Rin was surprised seeing such professionalism, while he knew they were rich, he did not expect this much at home. Although, Sousuke had his own cook when he was a baby, after all.

They ate pretty much in silence, which no one seemed to mind. Rin wondered who did not want to talk more, Takeshi, Isao, or Kisumi. Sousuke kept quiet, too.

But they finished and not talking became too awkward. And Takeshi was shot first.

“So, Takeshi, how is it going?”

He shrugged. “Pretty good. No problems, not many fights, no disagreement in the group.”

“How boring.” Isao added making Takeshi laugh.

It was the first time Rin saw them sitting apart. How weird.

He tried not to snort seeing Kisumi already braiding his hair out of boredom, uncomfortable with the sleek look. He stopped and grinned seeing Rin’s eyes on him, quickly smoothing his hair back, so he looked the most appropriate Rin ever saw him.

“What about you, Sousuke? You’re still in school?”

“Nearly finished. We’ve got one last competition, then we graduate.”

“You’re still swimming?”

“Of course.”

“Didn’t pay thousands to that coach for nothing.” Takeshi murmured to himself.

“Thanks, dad.” Sousuke kicked him under the table.

“I still bet it were plastic surgeries…” Kisumi pointed his fork at Sousuke. “I watched Doctor 90210 and over a night dude got a six pack.”

“Is this why you don’t move your ass, you prefer to get on the surgery table one day?”

Kisumi patted his tummy. “Ai captain.”

“I thought you’re doing basketball?” asked Rin.

“Yeah. Sort of.”

Isao side-eyed him.

“Don’t you need to apply to universities already?” Kisumi’s grandfather asked.

“Sort of.”

“He’s still deciding.” Emi smiled, rescuing him.

He looked at Sousuke.

“Olympics.”

“Don’t you think it’s time to make more serious choices?”

“I think that’s a pretty serious choice. Requires a damn lot of work.” Sousuke did not seem bothered with the question. “We just can’t decide with Rin whether to stay in Japan or not.”

“Don’t be a bitch.” Kisumi made a face.

“Aww, would you miss me?”

“Not really.”

Sousuke smiled, jaw locked. When he faced his father, Rin saw him showing Kisumi a middle finger. Kisumi laughed.

“How do you intend to take your father’s place from another country? Yakuza runs from Japan.”

“No problem there, he won’t swim forever and I’m not on my way to hell yet.” Takeshi saved them.

“Well, you’re nearly forty, Takeshi.” Isao sighed in pretended concern.

“Bastard, I’m only thirty five!”

“Thirty six, nearly seven!”

Takeshi made a face at him. Emi shook her head, trying not to laugh.

“Hey it’s your birthday soon.” Kisumi pointed at Sousuke. “And then mine. And then yours.” He pointed at Takeshi. “And finally yours.” He moved his finger at his father. “When’s your birthday?” He asked Rin.

“Winter.”

“So like mom’s. Hm.”

“Is this getting somewhere?” Emi asked.

“No, I was just collecting data, mom.”

They started laughing.

Rin was starting to see their tactic. Talk, laugh, and don’t let the man say too much.

He already looked ready to give up.

“Did the police found out who stole the diamond yet?”

“Nope, Sousuke did a good job.” Takeshi smiled proudly.

“That jump was pretty impressive.” The man agreed.

“You did a very good job overall.” Isao winked to Sousuke.

“Thank you.” Sousuke beamed, happy with his accomplishment and their compliments.

Rin touched his hand under the table.

“Are you doing any new businesses, Takeshi?”

“The usual. Clubs get the most money, apart from the bigger corporations of course.”

Rin was surprised to hear that. Really? The one in Iwatobi?

“Brothels always earned most money.”

Oh. Right. Those clubs.

“Sex sells. It always did and it always will.” Takeshi agreed.

“Charming,” Isao murmured, receiving a grin in return.

Rin realised why these two never separated. Sitting far apart they found a way to look like they were attached to the hip anyway.

And suddenly everything happened very quickly.

Rin noticed three men dressed in thick black police costumes in the garden, right behind the windows. But before he could even say anything, the windows were shattered and everybody quickly stood up from the table, shock on their faces.

No one had time to say anything, more policemen came, and Takeshi, Isao, and Sousuke were shoved on the floor before they could react. The rest of them were grabbed by arms and pulled away from the scene. Rin shouted when they put a gun to Sousuke’s head, while others tied his hands behind his back. Same happened to Takeshi and Isao.

“What are you doing?!” Emi shouted at them, trying to get out of their grasp.

They ignored her questions and took Takeshi, Isao, and Sousuke out, holding their heads down.

*

“I want to know why my husband was imprisoned right now!” Emi shouted in the mobile phone.

Kisumi and Rin were sat on the sofa, the wind moving their hair. Windows on the side were gone so it became colder inside. Isao’s father was also on his phone, speaking to people from Yakuza.

“Are you okay?” Kisumi asked. “You look a little ill.”

“I’m fine.”

Rin wasn’t fine. He was terrified. Was this Nanase’s job? Takeshi said that Nanase would want to hurt Sousuke. What if he will? Was Sousuke in danger?

“You are holding your tummy all the time.”

Rin put his hand back in his lap.

“Rin.”

“What?”

“Are you pregnant?”

Rin quickly looked at him.

“That’s the change.” Kisumi starred. “Does Sousuke know?”

“Of course he knows.” Rin said quietly.

“Takeshi?”

“Yes.”

Kisumi smiled. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks…”

Kisumi was the first person that actually congratulated him. It was… nice.

“I wondered if you could. You looked feminine enough.”

“Apparently I can so damn much that I get pregnant whether I am on pills or not.”

“Oh shit so you were protected?”

“Yeah.”

Kisumi patted his shoulder. “Sucks to be you.”

Rin made a face.

“Don’t worry. You couldn’t choose a better guy for a dad.”

“I just wish it happened later…”

“Yeah, of course.”

Silence.

“Can I start buying cute baby clothes and toys though?”

Rin started laughing. “I don’t even have anything yet.”

“How many people know?”

“Doctors, Sousuke and his dad and yours.”

“Those traitors…”

“We graduate school soon, the last swimming race is next week. We want to keep it quiet until then. And I need to tell my mom, too. Well, I was supposed to today but…” He bit his lip.

“Don’t worry, Takeshi doesn’t like being imprisoned. He will get them out of there soon.”

“Do you think it’s about the diamond?”

“Considering they only took them, yes.”

“What if they have proof they were involved?”

“Nah. Whatever they have won’t be enough.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because Sousuke did the job. Because Takeshi is his teacher. Takeshi does not make mistakes and neither does Sousuke.” He explained simply.

*

A few hours later they were sat in the car, in front of the jail, waiting for them.

“Sousuke!” Rin and others quickly jumped out of the car when they saw them walking towards them.

He ran to him and Sousuke caught him in a tight hug.

“I was so worried! What happened to your face?” He touched his bruised cheek.

“Don’t worry about it.” Sousuke kissed him.

“Did they do it to you?”

“Of course they used opportunity to punch me in the face.” He smiled. “I am glad you’re ok.”

“What about you two?” Emi looked at them in concern.

“We know it’s better to leave emotions home to not give them an excuse.” Isao winked to Sousuke who pouted.

“Oh, you were throwing fits?” Rin grinned.

“Pfffff.” Sousuke seemed insulted. “I just told them to go fuck themselves.”

Takeshi rolled his eyes.

“Keeping your mouth shut is wise sometimes.”

“Anyway…” Sousuke changed the topic. “We’re going with Rin to Tokyo to see his mom.”

“You shouldn’t be driving after getting hit.”

“I drove in worse condition, relax, dad.”

He sighed. “Let’s get back then.”

*

“What they took you for?” Rin asked when they finally sat in Sousuke’s car and started driving towards his mom’s home.

“Diamond. But the lawyer got us out in seconds. They did not have enough evidence.”

“Is it normal for them to ruin your houses because they feel like you might be the thief?” Rin looked at him in disbelief.

Sousuke laughed. “They do massive actions sometimes so it would look like they are doing anything. They will have to pay for the damage.”

“What about the one who hit you?”

“It was Nanase.”

“What?”

“I did not tell dad because he’d tear him apart. And we really do not need that now. He wants him tortured and dead already, I don’t need to add petrol to the fire.”

“Do you think he would really hurt you if he could?” Rin asked quietly.

“Sure. He shoots to my dad like to an object, he’d kill me too.”

Rin looked down at his hands. How was he supposed to not be terrified for Sousuke everyday?

He smiled feeling his hand slipping into his.

“Don’t worry, Rin. I am not planning to let them kill me. Especially since you’re pregnant.”

“Good to know our kid is keeping you alive.”

Sousuke laughed. “I did not mean it like that.”

Sometimes Rin wasn’t exactly sure.

*

“Rin? Rin…”

He woke up and peeked from behind the blanket Sousuke had to pull over him. It was dark outside, but the house had lights turned on letting them look into the kitchen and the living room.

Rin stretched. “So we better go, huh?”

“Your mom is already waiting for you.” He pointed at the door.

“Okay… Let’s do it this way. I will see what mood she is in, if I won’t mention the baby, you don’t do it either. Morning might be better for such news.”

“Sure.”

*

“Mom!” Rin smiled and hugged her as she kissed the top of his head.

“Rin, love.” She embraced him tightly. “I missed you so much.”

“You don’t mind us staying for the night?”

“Of course not. Come in, boys.”

Sousuke bowed to her a little, showing his respect. Rin was glad to see that she did not seem suspicious or angry.

She showed them the kitchen where they sat to eat home cooked cake and drink cocoa.

“Is there a particular reason you came over this week?” She sat opposite to them.

Okay so maybe she was a little suspicious.

Rin bit the inside of his cheek.

“Have you changed your hair or something? You look different?” She starred at Rin in curiosity.

“Did you have a good day, mom?”

“Rin.”

He took a deep breath in. “We have something to tell you…”

“Oh Goodness.”

“It’s not bad,” murmured Rin and it became silent again.

“Rin’s pregnant.” For the first time that night, apart from saying ‘good evening’, Sousuke spoke.

Rin looked at him, but he just shrugged.

“Excuse me?” She looked at them in shock.

“Mom…”

“I could expect many things but not you to be so…”

“I was protected!” Rin quickly stopped her. “I was taking pills, okay? I got pregnant anyway. It’s no one’s fault!”

“So knowing how fertile he is you couldn’t use another protection just to make sure?” She snapped at Sousuke.

“He did not know I could get pregnant!”

She stood up and took the empty plates from them to start cleaning them, not talking to them. Rin let her stay like this as long as she needed. If he would interrupt now, she’d snap.

“What are you two planning to do in this case then?” She asked quietly after awhile.

“Go to university a year later.” Rin answered simply. He knew she would ask that. The best way was to act like they really had a plan.

“Pregnancy changes a body a lot, Rin. And then you have a child that exhausts you. It’s impossible to train hard while raising a baby.”

At least she was calm. She just seemed a little upset.

“I know but there are good coaches, and babysitters, and you know…” He smiled hopefully. “Grandma.”

“Of course I will help you as much as I can but…”

“Mom, it’s going to be fine.” He stood up and went to her. Funny how much easier it was to calm down someone else than yourself. “You’ve got such a mature amazing son, how I could not be fine.” He brought his arms around her and hugged tightly.

“You’re still a baby.” She mumbled but hugged him back, stroking his back.

He noticed Sousuke smiling a little at them, holding his mug.

“I’ve got seven months to grow up.” Rin chuckled.

“Sousuke.” She turned to look at Sousuke, who straightened up in the chair.

“Yes?”

“You know that if you will hurt him or be irresponsible I will make your life hell?”

“Mom!”

“Of course I do.”

“Does anyone at school know?” She asked them.

“We’ve decided to keep quiet so Rin won’t face any problems or disqualifications. We have last race very soon and he wanted to attend it. Besides, no point in letting everybody into our business anyway.”

“You shouldn’t be training so hard especially in the first weeks!”

“I am not training hard. Just enough. Did not feel unwell even once.”

She sighed. “What after?”

“Umm…”

“I thought about moving back to Tokyo.” Sousuke answered.

“Where?”

“We could get our apartment, or live at my father’s.” Seeing Rin’s face he chuckled. “Dad is never at home.”

“What about money?”

“That’s not a problem.”

“You will get that from your dad, too?” She raised her eyebrow.

Rin did not like how she was trying to patronise Sousuke. Out of everything, he was one to work his ass off and would work 24/7 just to have money for them. Just to prove a point. He was still looking a little sickly from the latest overwork. He did not deserve this, when he was ready to stand on his head just to make him happy.

“I work for my dad.”

“And whatever you’re getting will be enough to provide for Rin, your child…?”

“Of course.”

Rin noticed that Sousuke probably chose the best tactic. Straight forward, sure answers.

“What happened to your face?”

“Sousuke saved me from a guy that tried to hurt me.” Rin answered quickly. He knew she would ask so he came up with an answer in the car already. It not only let him show Sousuke in a better light but saved from accusations.

“Where were you taking my son that people there tried to hurt him?” She snapped.

Sigh.

“Mom, Jesus! It was at school!”

“Okay, okay.” She rubbed her eyes. “Just go to sleep, you two. I need time to think about all of this.”

Rin kissed her cheek. “Don’t worry about anything, mom. Everything is going to be okay.”

*

“You’re quiet.” Rin dried his hair with a towel after he got out of the shower. Sousuke was already in his pyjamas, sitting on his bed with an album on his lap.

“You were a cute baby.”

Rin sat by him. “Are you okay?”

Sousuke smiled quickly. “Sure.” He flipped another page, not looking up.

“Sousuke.”

“Hm?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on.”

“It’ just… your mother really doesn’t like me, huh?” He seemed upset. It was obvious he tried to do his best and seeing his mother pushing him away no matter what…

“I think she forgot how much she likes you the second you became my boyfriend, because she had to go all protective over me.”

“Probably.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He kissed his cheek. “I loved how we were switching in answering questions today, not letting her win with us. We’re a good team, aren’t we?”

Sousuke finally looked up and kissed him on the lips, making him grin. They focused on the album together, Sousuke’s arm around him.

There was a picture of one year old Rin with his parents, his father still alive.

“I never saw your baby pictures,” said Rin.

“I never saw them either.”

“Your dad was supposed to give them to you finally, right?”

“Yeah… Maybe I will get them this weekend. Depends where he has them. Not sure if I want them.”

“Why not?” Rin put his cheek on his shoulder, snuggled up to him putting the blanket over them both.

“I don’t know…” he said quietly. “Seeing my parents together was one thing, another story. Seeing them with me… It’s just… You know.” He smiled. “When I was little I was making a lot up. Whenever anyone brought up some family stories, things parents told them, I wanted my own story, too. Sometimes I had dreams. I just made my past up.”

“What else were you supposed to do, not remembering anything?” He touched his cheek lightly. “I remember when you were taken away from school all the time. I thought that’s because your dad is away so often so he takes you on holidays when he is back home, and you go for ice-creams, daddy-son bonding time. I was so jealous.”

Sousuke laughed. “Oh boy. Well, we sort of did. It’s just he wasn’t always with me. And the holiday wasn’t to bond us, but to keep me safe, make sure that for example Florist won’t kidnap me. Or someone won’t shoot me when the fights were getting ugly. Or as a revenge.”

Rin swallowed hard. “Kidnap a child?”

“Apparently the fastest way to make a father drop the gun.”

They were quiet for awhile.

Rin did not want to imagine what they were capable of doing to kidnapped children, wanting to force another mafia to surrender. He did not want to think about the danger their child will be in.

He changed the subject.

“Did you wonder… you know, how the baby will look?”

Sousuke chuckled. “Hopefully like you.”

Rin poked his shoulder. “I hate your awfully low self esteem.”

“I don’t have a low self esteem.”

“I hate you don’t even notice you do.”

Sousuke rolled his eyes.

“I want the baby to have your eyes,” Rin said quietly.

“Yours are more original.”

“No. I like how they are like the ocean, they’re really calming.”

“They’re like greeny-blue.”

Rin laughed in his shirt. “Gosh, no sensitivity and romanticism in you at all.”

“But I buy good presents so there’s that.” Sousuke kissed the top of his head.

Rin took the album out of his hands and pushed him in the pillow. “Time to sleep. We’re tired.”

“’We’”

“Mhm.” Rin smiled, putting his head on Sousuke’s chest. “You know…”

“Hm?”

“I can’t wait for the baby to kick.”

He could feel Sousuke’s smile when he kissed his head again and embraced him tighter.

*

He heard little footsteps.

Rin opened his eye to see who was coming in the room and at the same time a little boy threw himself at them. Rin started laughing when Sousuke let out a loud “Jesus Christ”.

“Nao, not Jesus.” The little boy pouted.

“Hey, kiddo, come here.” Rin let him lay inbetween him and Sousuke, under the blankets.

“Hi,” he whispered and looked at Sousuke whose eyes were closed. “Can I wake him up?”

“Sure.”

Nao stuck his finger in Sousuke’s eye.

“Outch!”

“Nao, not like that!” Rin laughed again seeing Sousuke rubbing his eyes.

“Get used to it, this is how Matsuoka’s children wake their parents up.” Rin’s mom stood in the door. “Morning.”

“I hope my gens will get rid of those,” Sousuke murmured under his nose.

“Sou…” Nao sat on him. “Can we go to the park today like last time?” He smiled bright.

Sousuke looked at him. “Oh my God, you make the same face like your brother when he wants something. Amazing.”

“Nao, go to sleep…” Rin hid behind the blanket.

“No, it’s eight!” He threw himself at him.

“Exactly!”

*

Of course they went to the park and played around. Rin’s mom had to go with them since Sousuke’s car could only take two people. Rin was a little glad because it forced Sousuke and his mother to talk a little more and try to relax the atmosphere. But it wasn’t working well.

She was bombarding him with questions, she was watching him, Rin could see how stressed Sousuke was. And upset that she did not want to warm up to him.

Rin was ensured that it was about Sousuke wanting so badly to be accepted by him and so automatically by his mom, too. Sousuke cared the most about his love and making him happy. And he knew how much Rin cared about his mom.

But Rin could also remember how his mom saved Sousuke from his own father once, how she taught him how hugging works, and Rin wondered whether she sort of… became his mom then. She was the person he knew won’t hurt him. Who showed him love when he needed it. On whose love he could count on. So being pushed away by her now…

He hoped she would soon warm up to Sousuke. He really was trying hard for her, for him. Everybody could tell how much Sousuke loved him and that through his actions, not only words.

But he could not tell his mother that Sousuke put himself in front of him when someone tried to shoot them.

*

They went to a local restaurant for lunch. Nao was running around, not listening when they told him to sit. Sousuke was walking around with him all the time, since the little one has decided that he needs to show him everything, apparently even a place where they were supposed to eat once.

Luckily at least he sat to eat when their food arrived.

“So what do you want to do later, Nao?” Rin asked his brother.

“Get ice-creams!”

Rin laughed. “Okay.”

“Sou, what ice-creams do you like?” He asked curiously.

Rin found it interesting how much Nao liked and looked up to Sousuke. He always had this certain authority that pulled people to him. Rin wondered how it’s going to be when they will have children.

He looked at Sousuke when he did not respond, looking straight ahead.

“Sousuke, what’s wrong?” Rin asked, worry in his voice.

He was scarily pale and his face was terrified.

“Sousuke?” Rin touched his arm but he did not react so he tried to follow where Sousuke was looking.

A family just came inside and started undressing. A woman with a man, and an older couple that seemed to be her or his parents.

The younger lady, slim with long thick black hair and pretty face, looked to the side and her eyes caught Sousuke’s. She straightened up slowly, seemingly recognising him, yet unsure.

Rin gasped.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” She asked kindly.

“This isn’t real…” Sousuke whispered, not taking eyes off her. His breathing became uneven, hands shaking.

Rin opened his mouth to say something, but his voice died in his throat. He watched Sousuke who was only getting paler. He started to worry that he will faint. Rin's hand automatically grasped his arm tighter.

“Umiko, we need to go.” The older lady suddenly stood up, her face scared. The man covered his mouth realising their mistake, while the younger one seemed confused with the whole situation.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“I do know you, don’t I?” She walked closer to their table.

Sousuke sunk in his sit, eyes feeling with tears. He finally whispered weakly;

“You’re my mom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments xxx


	31. Games and puppets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who is pulling your strings?

She opened her mouth in shock, but Rin noticed that there was no doubt on her face.

“What?!” The younger man looked at her, then at her parents. He had tanned, freckled cheeks, and curly blonde hair. Seemed like an American to Rin.

“Umiko…” Her mother began, but she lifted her hand, stopping her.

“What’s your name?” she asked quietly, not taking eyes off her son.

“Sousuke,” he choked out and turned his face away, blinking back tears.

Rin did not know what to do. He was speechless, so what was Sousuke supposed to say? How does it feel when your own mother asks for your name?

The mother you thought were dead.

He wanted to take him away from here. Far away from problems. Could Sousuke have a second of peace?

“Your dad?”

“Takeshi.”

She turned to face her mother, paling. “Those names mean nothing, huh?” There was disbelief in her voice. “I remembered and you told me they mean absolutely nothing.” She curled her hands into fists.

“You could remember names, not them. Umiko, please, let your father and me explain…” The woman was clearly embarrassed that everybody in the restaurant was starring at her. Rin was happy they were not right in the middle of Tokyo, because then there would be an increased chance of one of Takeshi’s people being there and he doubted that was a good moment.

Before she could continue, there was a sound of door being opened.

“Dad,” Sousuke whispered when Takeshi with Isao and his father walked in.

Takeshi eyed her and then closed his eyes, took a deep breath in and slowly let it out, gathering himself together.

“Sousuke…”

“Goodness…” She interrupted, eyes moving from one to another. “This is why I recognised you, you look just like your father.”

“Sousuke, come on.” Takeshi straightened up, face unreadable as he ignored everybody else. “Let’s get out of here.”

Sousuke did not move, frozen in one place, trying to sink in the sit. Rin never saw him this scared, confused, not knowing what to do. He was like a little lost boy.

Takeshi sighed and walked up to them, grabbed Sousuke’s arm and pulled him. Sousuke went like a puppet, Umiko watching them distressed.

Rin stood up quickly. No way he was leaving him alone with his father now, even though for the first time he saw sincere concern on Takeshi’s face. He grabbed Nao, took his shocked mom’s hand and tugged her so they could follow his boyfriend quickly.

“Please don’t leave.” Umiko quickly stood in their way.

Takeshi stopped abruptly, like scared he will touch her.

“They will take you to our house, I need to take care of him first.” Takeshi pushed past her, his hand tight around Sousuke’s wrist.

Isao nodded to him quickly and moved out of the way, staying behind with his father. Rin noticed that the man had a similar expression on his face to Umiko’s parents.

Rin was angry that they seemed pissed off that Yamazakis and Umiko met, not ashamed of whatever they did. And they obviously did something awful.

If Takeshi was ready to make Nanase’s life hell for murder of his wife, what he’s going to do with people that clearly hid his wife from him, making him and their son think that she was murdered?

He did not have time to figure it all out, thoughts full of concern for Sousuke. He was just glad that it seemed Takeshi had no idea about Umiko being alive either.

He wasn’t sure how would Sousuke take betrayal of the man he looked up to the most.

They walked out, fresh air hitting their faces. The sun outside was still strong.

“What’s going on?” Sousuke choked out finally.

“Let’s just get in the car, I will explain everything in a moment. Calm down, everything is fine.” Takeshi looked at him quickly again, eyes a little afraid.

It confused Rin. He expected him to be upset, but frightened? Rin felt like he should know something that he was obviously missing here.

Takeshi pushed Sousuke in the front passenger sit and turned to Rin.

“I am not leaving him,” Rin interrupted before he could tell him to go away.

“Fair play. If you want proper family drama, then feel free to go after us.” He looked at his mother. “After all we’re pretty much family now.”

Apparently even finding out that his wife was alive after eighteen years could not shock him enough to stop being a sarcastic asshole.

Rin’s mother did not comment, but if her eyes could kill, they would.

Takeshi slammed the door and went to his side. Rin watched them driving away quickly, and pushed his mom into their car’s driver sit.

*

They went after Isao and his father, Umiko with her family in another car. The journey seemed way too long, and his mother wasn’t helping, making him want to get out of the car already.

“I don’t think we should be going there.”

“Mom, I am not leaving Sousuke now.”

“What the hell is even going on?”

“Mommy said a bad word!” Nao grinned in the back sit.

“Mommy is allowed to bad words today.”

“That woman is Sousuke’s mom.”

“I figured this much out, thank you, son.”

“They told me she was killed by a policeman. Soon after Sousuke was born.”

“And yet she is alive.”

Rin did not comment. This was beyond him.

“His father seemed ready to have a heart-attack,” his mom continued.

“At least it seems he had no idea either, which is a good thing.”

“I thought the same. She obviously lost memory. And her family hid the past from her. But how they managed to fool Takeshi that she is dead?”

Rin shook his head. He wondered how could they do it in the first place.

What if he would have an accident? Would his mother be capable of doing the same to him and Sousuke? Just so they would not be together?

Or this was about something else?

*

“God.” Rin’s mom jaw dropped when they parked in front of Yamazaki’s Mansion, the water in the fountain peaceful, the sunshine reflecting in it. “I never felt poor in my life, but here we are.”

Rin wasn’t sure why but quite a lot of Takeshi’s cars were parked in front of the mansion, instead of being hidden underground. It was quite an image, all of them shining clean in the sun.

The huge house was impressive on its own, too.

“You saw Sousuke’s car.”

“Still, it did not cross my mind that they have thirty just in case on the side.” She side-eyed him.

“I don’t think that’s all they have, mom.” Rin scratched his neck and smiled unsurely.

“Well, at least I can trust your boyfriend when it comes to money. Come on, time to go,” she sighed.

They walked out of the car and with others walked inside. Rin smiled a little seeing his mother looking around, taking in the beauty of the place, but he quickly went to Sousuke who was sitting on the black leather sofas in the living room, his father right by him with a glass filled with whisky in his hand.

Sousuke extended his hand and caught Rin’s to pull him on his other side.

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking there,” he whispered in his ear.

Rin shook his head. “I love you.” His voice nearly impossible to hear, he just wanted Sousuke to know.

He was much calmer, which made Rin wonder whether Takeshi told him something, or… gave him something.

Isao sat on Takeshi’s side, Rin’s mom on Rin’s with Nao on her lap, telling him to be quiet. Umiko right opposite to Takeshi with her family and Isao’s father by her.

Takeshi spread his arms, like welcoming them to a meeting, and said sarcastically, “Come on. We’re waiting for an explanation.”

No one said anything, making him smile but there was a threat in it. Rin wondered when he is going to snap.

“Seventeen, nearly eighteen years ago I was on the sea when I received information that you were killed, leaving me with a few weeks old baby.” Takeshi spoke to Umiko, voice calm. “What happened to you?”

“Apparently I had a car accident because of which I lost my memory. I was told that I am free.” She put her hands on her knees, pose tense.

It went quiet.

“You did not have an accident.” Her father said, breaking the silence. “You were shot by a policeman.”

“By a policeman?” She was shocked.

“This man…” He pointed at Takeshi, “is a murderer. The police wants him dead. When they shot you for being with him and we were told you definitely won’t remember anything, it was the only moment when we could do something to save you from him.”

“Save from me.” Takeshi snorted.

Rin tried to not look his mother’s way, but he could feel her burning look.

“My father had to be involved in your bullshit, there is no way you’d fool him that she died.” Takeshi starred at them and then Isao’s father. Umiko sat frozen, trying to deal with everything she was hearing.

“Your father wanted you to marry one of our people. He told you stay on the sea, so we could arrange everything once they informed him that they want their daughter free of you. We would not do anything normally, but since there was a chance, we used it,” Isao’s father explained calmly.

Takeshi gaped at him in disbelief.

“God.” Isao shook his head.

“You were still young…” the man continued.

“We were married. We had a child. And you ruined his childhood and everything we had, because you decided that you want us with other people, like you had the right to make decisions in the first place.” Takeshi spit out.

“My daughter deserved better than you.” Umiko’s mother said angrily. “You had no right for a…”

“Your daughter was an adult who made her own fucking choice after she was made aware of everything, because I never hid the truth from her, and you had no fucking right to use her loss of memory against her,” hissed Takeshi. “She was ready to give her life for our son and you, her mother, took that child away from her. You and my father made fucking puppets out of us!”

“My daughter was young enough to still have a normal family and children in her life, not psychopaths like you!”

“Mom!” Umiko gasped.

“Wow…” Sousuke choked on a forced laugh and pressed hands to his eyes.

Rin’s hand tightened on his arm.

“Sousuke…” Rin whispered, just holding him. He couldn’t do anything else.

“Get out of my house.”

Takeshi seemed calm on the surface, but Rin was waiting for him to explode, his nails already digging in his knees.

“Excuse me?” Isao’s father snapped.

Takeshi stood up. “I said get out of my house.”

The man and Umiko’s parents stood up, too. “We done it for…”

“Don’t even finish this fucking sentence, or I swear I will kill every single one of you.”

“Your father would be ashamed of you.” Isao’s father shook his head, distaste on his face.

“Luckily my father is fucking dead, or I’d kill him myself.”

“Isao.” The man snapped.

Isao did not move.

“You don’t expect him to leave us, do you?” Takeshi laughed, seconds from pushing them out himself. “Get the fuck out. Right now.”

“Umiko.”

She glanced at her parents and shook her head, not moving from her sit either.

Rin could not imagine how she was feeling. The whole family was living in a lie, but at least Takeshi and Sousuke knew of her existence. But then, they were suffering for years, while she lived in peace.

Now, though, everything dropped on her shoulders at once.

Surprisingly they left without another word, even the younger man who Rin guessed was probably her boyfriend or even husband, leaving her with them alone.

Takeshi sat slowly. Rin never saw him this pale.

“For the greater good.” Takeshi whispered and turned to face Isao. “Can you believe this shit, because…” He lost his voice. Isao put his hand on his shoulder, his face upset when Takeshi hid his face in his hands, trying to calm himself down.

Rin never saw this man so vulnerable. 

They were all quiet, Umiko sitting on her own, hugging herself. Sousuke wasn’t looking at anyone, head down, eyes closed, hands in his hair.

“Have I really married a murderer?” Umiko spoke finally.

“You’ve married a gangster,” murmured Takeshi.

“Yakuza.”

“Yes.”

“I had no issues with it?” She smiled weakly.

“You loved me.”

Rin put his head on Sousuke’s shoulder. So she was in the same situation as him. She loved him, so she went with him. As simple as that.

She looked at Sousuke, but did not say anything, seeing his eyes tightly closed. Takeshi sighed.

“He’s a swimmer, on his way to Olympics.” Takeshi informed her. “Considered one of the best swimmers in Japan.”

She smiled for the first time, a little surprised. “That’s really impressive, congratulations. An athlete in our family, that’s definitely not after me, though.”

“Neither me.” Takeshi admitted. “He’s a miracle in this case.”

Sousuke did not say anything.

“And that one by him is his boyfriend, and that’s his mom,” Takeshi nodded at Rin and his mom.

“I figured that much out.”

Rin smiled at her when she winked to him.

“And you’re going to be a grandma soon.”

“You know how to drop a bomb, don’t you?” Isao looked at him. “You’re unbelievable.”

“What?” As expected, she was shocked.

“Um… I am pregnant.” Rin murmured.

“Don’t worry, I only found out yesterday too.” Rin’s mom spoke for the first time since they sat. “And I did not know they were gangsters before today either.”

“That does make me feel better, thank you.” Umiko sighed in gratefulness.

Funny, Rin thought. She was basically him a few weeks ago. He wondered whether he was making the same confused and terrified faces all the time.

Hey, for the first time he wasn’t the lost lamb in the group.

He guessed they all were today.

Sousuke jumped a little when his phone suddenly rang. They all looked at him, so he shrugged. “Reminder to go back to Samezuka.”

Rin looked at his watch. True, theoretically they should be heading back now.

“You need a reminder to go back to school?” Takeshi cocked his eyebrow.

“I had a lot on my head lately, alright.” Sousuke hid his phone.

“You had a reminder to eat breakfast.” Isao judged Takeshi.

“Shut up.” He kicked him in the foot.

“I’m going to grab a few things and we can go.” Sousuke stood up and went upstairs without sparing another glance at anybody.

Takeshi pursed his lips. It became silent.

“It’s Sousuke’s way of dealing with things, don’t worry.” Isao told Umiko.

And clearly not only his.

Takeshi opened his mouth to add something but there was a sound of shattered glass.

“You’re alright?” Takeshi shouted.

“Who the fuck put the vase here?!”

“Me,” murmured Takeshi. “Excuse me…” He stood up and went upstairs, leaving them alone.

“Is this a hint that I should leave?” Umiko smiled sadly.

Isao shook his head. “It takes awhile to get used to them, don’t take anything personally.”

“I am not sure if I will have a chance to get used to them.”

Isao did not say anything.

He wasn’t sure himself. He knew them well enough to be aware that this is not going to be a happy family reunion.

*

Takeshi quickly walked in the opened bathroom, where Sousuke was trying to gather the broken pieces with a towel. He breathed out in relief seeing that.

It was stupid, really, because he was afraid of his son being near broken glass, yet did not fear giving him a gun. The terrifying truth he deep inside was aware of was that Sousuke knew countless of ways to end his life, and there was absolutely nothing Takeshi could do to stop it, if he’d ever try again.

Sousuke had Rin now, and a child on its way, their father-son relationship only got better too. There were so many reasons to stay, Takeshi did not want his heart to beat faster at sights like those anymore.

But you never knew.

He kneeled by him and helped gather rest of the sharp pieces. Sousuke slid down the wall when they finished and looked up at him.

Seeing his lost face he sat right opposite to him, their knees touching.

“What do you want me to do?” asked Takeshi.

“Let her go,” whispered Sousuke, eyes meeting his.

Seeing his father’s surprise, he continued quietly. “She’s not mom. She’s not your wife. She just looks like her, but that person is gone. She doesn’t know who we are. It’s been seventeen years, dad. Eighteen. She lived another life all this time. She doesn’t feel anything towards us, and I don’t think it’s fair forcing her to come back to us. Turning her world upside down again. I’m not a baby, you have your own life, we dealt on our own. It’s over. What do you want to tell her, how fucked up her son she spent only a few weeks with turned out to be? Welcome back, really…”

“Sousuke…”

“I saw you and Isao.”

Takeshi blinked. “What?”

“When we were working so much together, I stayed home once. I did not hear you two during the night, but when I walked downstairs in the early morning to get back to Samezuka, you two were sleeping in the living room.”

“Oh.” Takeshi scratched his neck, remembering, trying to not seem embarrassed.

Sousuke smirked and cocked his eyebrow. His world was completely breaking apart again, but catching his father blushing did not happen often.

“Shut it. I heard you, but chose to pretend no one was there.” Takeshi shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Oh really, how?”

“You always jump from the last two steps, even when you’re supposed to be quiet.”

Sousuke pouted and then smirked again.

“Didn’t know you’re one to be a little spoon, dad.”

“Shut your…” Takeshi slapped him with the fluffy towel he quickly grabbed from the shelf, making Sousuke drop on his side and start giggling like an idiot.

He wiped the tears off his face, not sure whether they were happy or sad tears anymore, sitting back.

“You don’t want your mom back?” Takeshi asked after a few seconds of silence. “You know that your choice has absolutely no impact on my relationship with Isao and her.” He figured out that Sousuke was worried he will hurt Isao, the man acknowledged as his second father, after all those years by going back to her and that perhaps Sousuke reuniting with her would push him towards such choice. Sousuke was not aware that there was no possibility for them to get back together and Takeshi wasn’t planning to lie to himself.

Yes, he was beyond happy that she was actually alive. He will always love his wife, and knowing she did not die and that because of him was a relief. But like Sousuke said, this wasn’t his Umiko. She was a woman who looked like his wife, but his wife died years ago. If she had lost her memories and they would have helped her from the beginning, it would be another story. However, she lived for eighteen years creating new memories, meeting people and having lovers, boyfriends, he wasn’t sure if that man wasn’t her husband. Meanwhile his relationship with Isao was slowly developing, them waiting for the day he will be free from the cage his father put him in.

It was like they divorced and reunited after a long time, with only a son bonding them. Worse, because in their case, one of them did not even have memories of the past and nothing was their choice.

Who isn’t a puppet these days?

Umiko was hurt because of him. Her parents had no right to choose for her anyway. But it happened, and now it was too late. He won’t break with Isao who he knew for over twenty years now, pull Umiko into the dangerous world, teach her everything from the beginning at their age. Make her fall in love with him, if it was even possible. He doubted she even considered coming back to him. They'd have to change everything again.

It was over. Their parents won.

But Sousuke was their son. No matter what was between his parents, he still deserved a mother and a father.

“Mom is gone.”

“Your mom is sitting downstairs. She’s here. Alive.”

“She’s not mom.” Sousuke looked down at his hands, chin shaking a little.

Takeshi put the palms of his hands on his cheeks. “This is the same woman who protected you eighteen years ago, son. This is the woman who loved you beyond anything. Who held you under her heart for nine months.”

“She doesn’t remember anything. Even loving me.”

“You feel love, not remember it. It’s not too late for you to create new memories with her, either. Nothing erases the past.”

Sousuke hugged his knees and shook his head again.

“Why?”

“She has someone, dad. She has another life.”

“And you do not want to become part of it?”

“No.”

“Sousuke…”

They jumped when they heard knocking on the doorframe. They both stood up quickly, Sousuke paling seeing Umiko.

“I think it’s time for me to go.” She smiled kindly with understanding.

“I’m sorry, we started talking and…” Takeshi quickly explained.

“No, it’s completely fine. I think we all need time. I just…” She sighed and looked at Sousuke. “I can imagine how difficult this has to be for you. You don’t know me at all, your dad at least has some memories. But… If you ever decided you do want to keep in touch…” She handed him a small piece of paper with a number written on it. “I am always here for you.”

Sousuke took it in shaking hands, eyes feeling with tears. “I am sorry.” He choked out. “But you really wouldn’t want me as your son anyway…”

“Sousuke…” Takeshi moved but Umiko was faster, embracing Sousuke who froze in shock.

He closed his eyes, but did not let himself relax. He couldn’t.

“No matter what, you’re my son. Remember that, kiddo.” She wiped the tears off his face and kissed his cheek. “I am really sorry I wasn’t here for you.”

“It’s not your fault.” Sousuke couldn’t meet her eyes.

Was he an awful person? All those years he dreamed about having a mom, and when he finally got her back miraculously, he pushed her away. He did not want to see her. Speak to her.

He wasn’t wrong saying that she wasn’t really dad’s wife, his mom. But he felt cruel for pushing her away, even though he knew he was doing the right thing. He doubted she really, deep inside, wanted anything to do with him.

She wouldn’t want a son like that. No one would.

*

When Takeshi called for his bodyguards to give her a lift wherever she wished, they were left alone in the living room. Sousuke felt dizzy, from everything that happened, mixed with the drugs his father gave him.

He kept calm in the car, but he snapped when they arrived in the house, the panic attack stronger than any he could remember. He blacked out, just felt his father pushing some pill in his mouth and helping him drink. He was surprised Takeshi still had these, meant for the worst moments.

Rin walked up to him now and hugged him in the middle without a word. Sousuke put his cheek on the top of his head, embracing him tightly.

His Rin. The little ball of sunshine. What would he do without him?

He heard little steps, and Nao hugged his leg.

“Nao!” Rin’s mom did not manage to catch him. She growled at him.

Sousuke lifted him. “We promised you ice-creams, didn’t we?”

“Will you smile?” Nao put his small hands on his cheeks.

Sousuke grinned, making him giggle.

“We need to have a talk anyway, don’t we?” Takeshi looked at Rin’s mother.

“We don’t need to have this conversation today.” For the first time there was no indifference or hate in her eyes when speaking to him.

“It’s not a problem. Maybe we can go to the café not far away from here, they have good ice-creams.” Takeshi clapped his hands together.

Isao shook his head.

“What?” asked Takeshi.

“Nothing.”

*

They sat in silence around a round table. The café was tiny, with an older married couple running it who obviously knew Yamazakis. The walls were white, the floor from light wood. Colorful pictures filled the walls, and at the very end was the bar where you could choose icecreams and a drink.

Nao sat on Sousuke’s lap and ate his and everybody else’s icecreams. They focused on their coffees and hot chocolates.

“Okay, so, you two are finishing school without telling anyone about the situation, which is fine, I think it’s a wise idea.” Rin’s mom began. “And what you have planned for later?”

Takeshi stirred his coffee with a little silver spoon and looked at them.

“We want to move to Tokyo.” Rin answered, seeing that Sousuke was still a little off. “Sousuke will go to the University to swim, I won’t.”

“Feel free to live in one of our houses or flats, whatever the best for you.” Takeshi straightened up in the sit, placing his elbow on the chair’s arm. “Money isn’t a problem. Sousuke is earning enough for you both, and besides I will give you as much as you need.”

“And what about you two?” She asked. “You’re going to have a child, so…”

“Mom, you know we will do our best. What else can we say?” Rin shrugged.

“I think we just have to let them be.” Takeshi took a sip. “And worry when we will need to.”

“I hope you understand that I am mainly concerned because of who you people are.” She bluntly stated.

“Of course I do. Your son is safe. He is not working for us.”

“That doesn’t really calm me.”

“Mom…”

“Here is the thing.” Takeshi put the cup down. “Mafia or not, we can die everyday. While Rin being with Sousuke increases the chance of him getting hurt, at the same time he has the biggest security there is. So overall…” He shrugged. “The chance of dying is the same as everybody else.”

She did not really seem happy with his reasoning.

Isao bent a little to get closer to her. “None of us would let Rin get hurt. And in the group, the fact that he is with the mafia’s boss’ son, and he is pregnant with him, ensures top security. He’s like a little diamond to us.”

Rin smiled thankfully at him. Takeshi was simply rational and straight to the point, but his mother needed someone like Isao. With a bigger heart. And sensitive. 

“I know you’re not a fan of me, miss, but I love Rin. I won’t let anything bad happen to him.” Sousuke spoke sincerely.

“Sousuke…” Finally her eyes looked at him with warmth, Rin thought. “I treated you like my second son when you were a kid. You’re very important to me. I am just afraid.”

“I love Sou.” Nao suddenly said out loud and turned on Sousuke’s knees to hug him tightly.

They laughed when Nao showed Rin his tongue.

It was amazing how strong Sousuke was, Rin wondered. After everything that just happened, unsure what’s next, he sat with them talking about their future, ensuring his mom that he loves him and would do everything for him.

No matter how hurt he was, the love was growing stronger day by day.

Rin just wanted him to stop getting hurt.

How much a person could take before they would break?

Sousuke was having more and more put on his shoulders lately, yet keeping a poker face, acting like everything was fine. Rin was scared that one day someone will put that tiny bit too much on him, making him break under everything at once.

And that was a terrifying thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos!!!


	32. Our Doll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... shattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your support; the messages, comments, kudos, arts, reblogs, likes, all been amazing. I dedicate this chapter to all of you.

They were quiet on their way back. Rin wasn’t sure whether Sousuke wanted to talk or not, but he was so focused on the road, face expressionless, that Rin assumed he did not.

Rin wondered what he would do if it suddenly turned out that his father was alive. He always imagined that if he could have him back, he’d be the happiest boy alive. But it obviously wasn’t so easy.

These people actually lived for those eighteen years that they were apart. Lived a lie, Umiko unaware she even had a family, Takeshi and Sousuke ensured she was gone.

Sousuke does not know her at all. Umiko does not know Takeshi and him. Takeshi remembers it all.

In a way he felt the worst for Takeshi. He had memories and the person he believed shared them with him was alive but did not remember him at all.

It was an awful thought, and Rin would never dare to say it out loud, but he wondered whether it was better when they thought she was dead.

What was Sousuke supposed to do?

Rin really did not know what he would do if he were him.

“I am sorry for ruining your weekend yet again.” Sousuke spoke after awhile.

“Stop being a muppet.” Rin slapped his arm.

He smiled. “You haven’t called me that for awhile.”

Rin grinned.

Sousuke’s phone rang, making him wince. Rin wasn’t surprised. He definitely just wanted to go to sleep tonight.

“It’s Isao.” Sousuke furrowed his eyebrows and quickly picked up the call. “Hello?”

Rin caught the seatbelt in his grasp when Sousuke suddenly turned the car around.

“We’re going to be there soon.”

“What’s going on?” Rin looked at him quickly, Sousuke’s face scared and pale.

“Dad’s in the hospital.”

“What?”

“I don’t know, probably a heart-attack.” Sousuke tightened his hands on the steering wheel. “God, what’s wrong with today…”

Rin’s heart hurt seeing him so emotionally exhausted. Heart-attack… Takeshi clearly took it all worse than it seemed on the surface. Obviously hiding feelings ran in the family.

“Don’t worry, he will be okay.” Rin put his hand on his thigh.

“I can’t lose him, Rin,” Sousuke whispered, voice breaking at the end.

*

They ran inside the hospital, rushing to the department where were supposed to be Takeshi and Isao.

“Isao?!” Terrified, Sousuke dropped to his knees in front of him, who was sitting on a chair in the corridor, face hidden in his hands.

“Sousuke.” Isao looked up. “Calm down, he is conscious. They just kicked me out to properly check on him.” He looked tired and worried, too, but trying to smile to relax Sousuke.

Sousuke breathed out in relief, sitting on the floor. Rin kneeled by him and put his hand on his shoulder.

“See, told you he is going to be okay.”

“How did it happen? He was fine when we were leaving.”

Isao sighed. “It looked a little like when he finally had a moment of silence and he could think everything through it sank in and that’s when…” he winced. “He had a lot on his head lately too. Overwork, shock…” he shrugged tiredly.

Sousuke hugged his knees.

“Hey…” Isao brushed his hand through Sousuke’s hair but at the same time the doctor walked out of the room and they stood up quickly.

“Is dad okay?”

He quickly lifted his hands and smiled. “He is going to be fine. You just have to tell him that he has to stay overnight, because that moron announced that he is leaving. He did not seem ready to move, though.”

“Oh for God’s sake.” Isao rolled his eyes and walked in, them quickly following.

Takeshi was lying on a hospital bed dressed in a patient gown. He seemed to be asleep, face pale and blueish circles under his eyes, cheek pressed to the pillow as his soft black hair covered his forehead. There were quite a few cables coming from his chest, controlling his heartbeat, and nasal cannula helping him breath.

He blinked his eyes open when he heard their steps but did not move.

“What are you doing here?”

It was weird, Rin thought, seeing this man in such vulnerable position. He did look ill, stripped from his strength, too tired to lie and pretend everything is fine.

“I called him.” Isao sat by him with them.

“What for…?”

“Because you’re my dad.” Sousuke rolled his eyes. “How are you feeling?”

Takeshi shrugged, making a move to sit but winced and stayed in the same position.

“Not bad.”

“You look awful,” informed him Isao.

Takeshi smiled but closed his eyes. “Thanks, asshole.”

“You fight like an old marriage, how cute.” They jumped hearing a voice from the doorway.

There was Akira standing in the front, with Nobu, Iwao, and Kin right behind him. They grinned, weirdly reminding Rin of a boyband which made him cover his face so they won’t notice his smile.

“What the fuck?” Takeshi looked a little terrified.

“That’s not a nice ‘hello’, dickhead.” Kin threw himself at the end of the bed.

“You’re not supposed to sit on the hospital beds, moron.” Nobu slapped him.

“Hey, boss.” Iwao walked up to Takeshi and quickly shook hands with him. “How are you feeling?”

“I am fine. How come you’re all here?” Takeshi seemed a little more awake now, but still weak.

“Akira told us you’ve been taken by an ambulance.”

Akira smiled unsurely. “I thought that was quite important.”

Takeshi did not look happily at him.

“Good that he did.” Nobu grabbed himself a chair and sat on the side. “I spoke to the doctor. You need to take a break.”

“Relax,” sighed Takeshi. “They will let me out tomorrow and I am going to be fine.”

“No.” Nobu stopped him. “Split the work between us and spend a few days at home. We will take care of everything.”

Rin smiled a little. Takeshi did not seem shocked that they were trying to take the weight off his shoulders, making him think he obviously could count on those men always, and it was nice seeing it with his own eyes. So, Takeshi was a typical workaholic. Sousuke clearly had it after him. He wondered what Sousuke did not take after his father. It was sort of hilarious. They were a little too similar sometimes.

“I only have a few things to sign and then I can relax. You finish school in just two weeks…” He looked at Sousuke. “We can think about taking a break then.”

“No.” If Rin were Takeshi, he’d give up on trying to argue already. “Give us the work for now, take it easy until Sousuke’s school end, and then go on proper holiday to recharge your batteries.” Nobu stood, his arms across his chest.

“Never in my life I took such long holiday, it all will go to hell if I will, are you insane?” Takeshi shook his head, but quickly stopped. It obviously hurt.

“I will start praying to God to give me strength to deal with you.” Nobu put his hands on his face. “Give us the bloody papers, Takeshi.”

“No.”

Isao bent and Rin watched him taking something out from the bag. He stood up with a few files in his hands and started handing them out to the men.

Takeshi looked ready to kill him. “Isao!”

“The addresses are on the first page, everything is already signed, just deliver it.”

Takeshi growled.

Rin noticed Sousuke stopping himself from laughing, looking at the floor.

“Fantastic. Did they say when they would let you out?” Nobu asked.

“In the morning.” Isao answered for Takeshi seeing his angry face starring at the ceiling. “If he won’t get worse overnight.”

“Okay. Text us if you will need anything.” Nobu slapped Kin who gathered himself up.

“Oh, you’re staying?” Akira looked at Isao.

They looked back at him, wondering whether it was a rhetorical question. Akira sighed, murmured ‘whatever’, and walked out with his file.

“See you tomorrow.” Kin patted Takeshi’s leg, Iwao lifted his hand in goodbye and they left as well.

The corner of Nobu’s lips lifted seeing Takeshi stubbornly looking away. He walked up to him and patted his cheek. “Take care of yourself, I will see you later.” And as his hand left his cheek, he walked out after quickly shaking hands with Isao.

“How long are you going to sulk for, brat?” Isao sat back by Takeshi, opposite to Sousuke and Rin.

“You know how people like you are called? Traitors.” Snapped Takeshi.

“I know, with friends like us you don’t need enemies, do you?”

Sousuke snorted and Takeshi side-eyed him.

“Sorry, dad, but I never saw anyone this angry for having good friends taking work off their shoulders, seriously.”

“I could do that tomorrow.”

“You are going straight home to bed tomorrow,” Isao informed him, crossing his arms on his chest.

“Sorry, have I missed the moment where you became my mother?” Takeshi snapped again.

“Clearly.”

Rin had to turn his head away. They obviously were using Takeshi’s state against him and it was too funny.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Isao continued, the burning stare on him. “I am not exactly a fan of carrying your unconscious body, you know.”

Takeshi’s cheeks reddened, but he did not say anything.

“You had to carry him?” Sousuke raised his eyebrows.

“The ambulance took ages, he was out by the time they arrived so I did not waste time and carried him out of the house. Akira wasn’t exactly helping pissing himself.”

“I am going to slap him for calling everybody.”

“That was smart thinking, actually, you should reward him.”

“What!”

“Thanks to him they all gathered up and helped you.”

“I didn’t want their help!”

Isao looked at the ceiling, praying for patience. Sousuke smiled at him.

“I am glad that from everything you took after your father, being an asshole wasn’t one.”

“Isao!”

Sousuke started laughing with Rin.

Takeshi made a face.

They looked at the doctor who walked in, a few papers in his hands.

“I see the mood improved.” He smiled. “I’ve got your results.”

“Are they fantastic?” Takeshi grinned.

“No.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Have you been living on anything but coffee and drugs lately?”

“Of course!”

“Well, I can’t see it. Your results are awful.” He flipped through the pages. “I will still let you out tomorrow, but only if you will promise me to take care of yourself, and take everything I will prescribe you.”

“Sure.”

“Please.” Isao raised his eyebrow.

The doctor side-eyed Takeshi. “I mean it. You’re going to end up in the hospital again very soon otherwise.”

“Alright, Jesus…” Takeshi rubbed his eyes tiredly.

The doctor handed Isao the documents. “Firstly, I am prescribing a holiday far away from problems.”

“Yeah, we’ve been thinking about that.” Isao folded them and put in his jacket.

“I hope it won’t end on just thinking,” he sighed and looked at the monitor displaying Takeshi’s heartbeat. Takeshi eyed him. “You’re improving, that’s good. Get some sleep now, I will see you in the morning.” He smiled at them and left to his next patient.

“Do you have lessons in the morning?” Takeshi asked Sousuke.

He looked exhausted more than anything to Rin, struggling to keep his eyes open.

Sousuke wondered if he was asking him to stay, but he could not believe that. Takeshi?

“No, afternoon. Why?”

“You should head back now then, or you’re going to be tired.” Takeshi shrugged. “Or you’re going to fall asleep behind the wheel. Actually, should we call the driver?”

“No, I am fine.” Sousuke sighed. Of course he did not want him to stay.

“Text us once you’re going to arrive at Samezuka.” Added Isao.

“Smoothly kicking me out, huh?” Sousuke stood up and gave Rin a hand like a gentleman, winking to him.

“For your good…”

“Don’t say those words.” Takeshi winced.

Isao snapped his mouth shut. “Sorry.”

“Goodnight, guys.” Sousuke waved, Rin smiled unsurely and they left, leaving them alone.

*

Takeshi rubbed his eyes again. Isao brought the duvet higher, under his chin, seeing his eyes closing against his wish. Takeshi was asleep moments later, the monitor beeping quietly.

Isao brushed his hair off his forehead, listening to his soft breathing.

Seeing Sousuke’s scared face he quickly did everything to ensure it will look like nothing serious, and he was glad others turned it into a joke.

But boy, didn’t his heart beat faster too.

Once they all separated at the cafe, Akira called Takeshi that he has some questions about his current job. They went back to Takeshi’s house, where Isao was meant to stay for the night anyway. His house was ruined thanks to the police after all.

He knew Takeshi wasn’t fine since he found out about Umiko. Obviously. But Takeshi was so focused on Sousuke and ensuring he won’t panic, that he acted weirdly detached from the whole situation.

But when everything became quiet, Akira and him talking about the job, while Takeshi went to get himself a drink, alcohol of course, suddenly the whole world flipped.

Takeshi was pale when he sat on the floor in the kitchen, eyes closed and slowly breathing. It took a second to realise he was trying to calm himself because he was in pain. Isao thought he was trying to stop himself from crying.

But then the glass fell out of his hand and he clutched his chest.

They were by him seconds later. He was choking on his breath, teary eyed. Akira panicked but Isao shouted loud enough at him to make him call the ambulance.

He held Takeshi’s face, did not stop talking to him, not letting him faint. He wasn’t sure if Takeshi was hearing him, choking on his breath, but he kept him awake until they heard the sirens.

Unfortunately he took them as a permission to faint then, though.

Isao grabbed him quickly and took to the ambulance, not wasting time.

He was like a little porcelain doll.

Watching the love of you life dying in front of your eyes is one of the most terrifying things you can witness. And you can’t get used to it.

They both lived such dangerous lives. They were hurt so many times. And yet it was always the same. Shaking hands, holding each other tight, whispering, no, begging the other to not give up.

He could remember the first time Takeshi told him to take care of Sousuke.

They always laughed at the end how dying makes them dramatic, but held hands tightly at those moments.

“You should go home and get some sleep.”

Isao jumped startled. Takeshi’s eyes were barely opened, but the corner of his lips was lifted in amusement.

“So you could jump out of the window and run as far away as possible?”

He laughed quietly. “No trust in me whatsoever.”

“Go to sleep, doll.” Isao stroked his cheek with his finger.

“Lay by me.”

“That’s not a good idea.”

“Come on…” He shuffled to the side and with a sigh Isao did as told.

“If someone is going to see us…”

“No one will come here.”

It became silent, and Isao wondered if Takeshi fallen asleep but he spoke quietly;

“I thought I would die tonight.”

Isao turned on his side to look at him properly. “From a heart-attack? Sounds like a lame way to go.”

“I know, that’s why I was pissed.”

Isao cracked a smile.

Takeshi yawned, clearly fighting to not let his eyes close. It was dark, the moonlight only light but still Isao could see how unhealthy Takeshi appeared. He could see that he was losing weight, he knew he was not sleeping or eating well… But Takeshi was always like that. He slipped back sometimes, most of the time it was caused by stress and often went away before anything bad could happen. It probably would be the same this time, if his world had not crashed today.

“Go to sleep finally.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing.”

“You seemed invested into thinking about nothing.”

“Go to sleep, Takeshi.”

*

“He is going to be fine, Isao is with him. Go to sleep, Sousuke.” Rin murmured, half-asleep himself with his head on Sousuke’s chest.

They came back to Samezuka in the early morning and quickly went to bed. Even though they were so tired, Sousuke could not fall asleep and Rin could feel it which did not let him peacefully black out either.

“He did look ill, didn’t he?”

“He had a heart attack.”

“I know, but…”

“Sousuke, please.”

“I am sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just sleep.”

*

Rin opened his eyes, the sun burning his face through the window. It was past two in the afternoon.

Sousuke wasn’t by him. He checked if he left a note, and noticed one by the bed.

[Went to see dad. I will be back later xxx]

Rin wasn’t happy with himself for dissing him once they came back to Samezuka, but he was so tired that he preferred to force him to shush and sleep instead of falling asleep in the middle of his whispers.

After a quick shower he decided to catch a classmate and find out what they have missed with Sousuke and do his homework for him.

He’d be by his father’s side now, too.

*

Sousuke sniffed in the white powder quickly and waited for it to work. After a few minutes he made his way to the hospital, and as quietly as possible inside his father’s room.

Isao was asleep on the chair by the bed, his head on top of it. Takeshi was still sickly pale, the cables attached to him creating an upsetting image.

He never saw his father this vulnerable.

Sousuke took two bottles of fresh juice out of his bag and put on the nightstand. Then he noticed that Isao was holding Takeshi’s hand.

He smiled and walked out.

*

“Boo.”

Rin jumped when Sousuke caught him by his waist. He was sitting in the library writing their essays, books around him, headphones on his ears.

“Hey.” Rin took them off and turned around to kiss him on the lips. “How is your dad?”

“I think he is going to be fine.” Sousuke smiled and sat by him, taking a look at his writing.

Rin lifted his eyebrow, but did not say anything seeing the secretive smirk.

“You wrote two essays.” He pointed at the same topics at the top of the sheets.

“Yep. Both fantastic. So choose one and re-write it.”

Sousuke grinned and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, love.”

*

“You should text Sousuke and thank him for the juices.”

Takeshi walked inside his apartment, breathing in the air. Not that this house had a typical homely feeling, like he knew from Isao’s mother’s house for example, smell of cooking and hot chocolate and fresh flowers. But it was better than hospital.

“Me?” Isao cocked his eyebrow and watched Takeshi making his way to the kitchen.

“Yeah. Want some coffee?” He grabbed the kettle and poured water in it.

“Takeshi.”

“Okay. Tea?”

Isao sighed. “Okay.” There was no point in shoving him back in the bed anyway. He put the bag with medicine on the counter.

When Takeshi was feeling well, the fact that he became thin did not bother people. He still looked good. When he’s laughing, all the problems go away.

They were used to him being slim more than being muscly anyway. He needed to be slim for the job he enjoyed doing.

But the heart attack shoved him off his feet and now clearly feeling faint, his face pale and hand tightly holding the counter, he looked ill.

A few months ago Takeshi looked his best, while Isao let himself go. And weirdly for both of them life started looking better, but you could tell that only by looking at one of them. Takeshi’s relationship with Sousuke started improving, no one was deathly sick, Takeshi has kept his empire for so long now that barely anybody tried to kick him off the pedestal.

And Isao felt better. The upcoming changes were making him even happier. And he hit the gym when Takeshi slipped his hand under his shirt for the first time after a very long time.

And now he was looking his best, but Takeshi was slowly getting himself more and more sick on his eyes.

Isao stood up and took the kettle out of Takeshi’s shaking hands.

“Sit down, I will do it.”

He sighed but made his way to the living room and dropped on the sofa, curling up.

Isao grabbed the cups after he made the tea, and the bag, and went to him. Takeshi sat up in front of him and took the drink, making a face when he shook the pills in front of him.

“Sometimes you’re such a brat,” murmured Isao when Takeshi swallowed them with disgust.

He laughed quietly. “You’re the one who told me to stop being stuck up.”

“Does not fit you in everyday life.”

Takeshi grinned.

Isao patted his knees. “You’re going to take better care of yourself from now on, right?”

He cocked his head. “Interesting how you always tell me to do things, not ask me to do them.”

“Because you’d never do them if I’d ask you.”

A laugh. “Take a shower, I will go after you and we have to go.”

“What?”

“To the club.”

“No.”

“I am not asking for permission, Isao,” Takeshi snapped.

He bent to get closer to him. “Do you really want to kill yourself?”

Takeshi rolled his eyes and stood up. “I will go first then.”

Ugh.

*

“I did not expect to see you here.”

Sousuke and Rin went to the club for dinner and surprised saw Takeshi sitting on one of the sofas, laptop on the table.

“Surprise…” Takeshi acknowledged them sarcastically seeing their confused faces and returned to his laptop.

“Where have you lost Isao?” Sousuke continued, but a little bit less sure, sitting himself and Rin opposite to his father.

Rin kept quiet.

Takeshi shrugged.

Rin and Sousuke exchanged a look but ignored him and ordered some food.

When they finished other guys started gathering, all making the same face seeing Takeshi. Surprise and then a sigh, like they expected nothing else.

They talked and when Takeshi left to meet with some two guys, Isao finally walked in, completely dissing him and making his way to them.

“What happened?” Kin laughed after shaking hands with Isao.

Isao sat by them and shook his head. “Nothing, this moron pissed me off.”

“He did not want to stay home?”

“I thought he will at least come here and do the paperwork, but he dressed up like for a night out, make up to not look sick, and pretends he is fine, walking with them.”

He did look pretty, though, Rin thought. Takeshi’s outfit was all black, of course, but instead of a simple suit he had skinny jeans on, longer shirt, and thin blazer on. The jewellery, soft hair, the light make up was underlining his feminine side. Especially since he became way slimmer than he was.

This obviously wasn’t about typical business. This was about seduction and it was obvious from the way he moved, too.

And it clearly worked, seeing them eyeing him hungrily and Isao looking ready to kick him. Hard.

Rin wondered if at least Isao knew the “real” Takeshi.

Sometimes he looks like a mafia boss you’d imagine from seeing countless movies, harsh, strict, and manly, then you find out he loves the stage, suddenly he loses weight and looks feminine…

He was like a chameleon.

And it was sort of terrifying.

*

Takeshi and Isao were snappy with each other, but Rin enjoyed being with them all together. They were funny. Sousuke was relaxing in their company, too. Even Kisumi joined them and they ordered drinks and got a little tipsy, laughing when Takeshi played on Isao’s nerves, showing him how he drinks alcohol, legs thrown over Isao’s lap. Isao tried to not laugh but he was failing. They clearly could not keep being angry at each other for long.

He did not expect this night to end so badly.

*

Later that day Isao left them to go to a quieter place as he received a call. Barely a few minutes later no one else but his father showed up.

They all shuffled uncomfortably, Takeshi’s friends only just made aware of everything that happened the day before. Takeshi stood up to face him, they stayed unsure eyeing each other.

“Did you really think I am not going to find out?” Isao’s father asked quietly, ignoring them, focusing on Takeshi.

He was taller and bigger than him, hovering over, clearly angry.

Takeshi lifted his eyebrow in question.

The man took a photo out of his jacket and showed him.

Takeshi laughed quietly.

“You think he spent eighteen years the way he did so you could ruin everything now?” man’s voice was low.

“For who?” Takeshi stopped smiling. “He doesn’t seem to be complaining.”

“You are under contract, too.”

“I am not breaking it. The picture did not go to the press, did it? There is no problem.”

“You really think this is a game, don’t you? You don’t care about what people say about you. You are used to everybody thinking you are a useless trash that people only stay with for money. You were always nothing, your father knew you were nothing, and it was a miracle you went anywhere in your life, of course ruining everything on your way, including your family. How many times you sold yourself to get where you are now?”

“How dare you…” Takeshi choked a little on words. It was the first time Rin saw him so taken back.

“My son kept our name clean and you are not going to dirty it with your hands. Don’t you dare to ruin everything…”

Before he could finish Takeshi stepped in closer and hissed, hands curling into fists;

“If you are so curious, I’ve began dirtying your name a long time before what you think was Isao’s and my first meeting.”

They did not even have time to blink before the man punched Takeshi so hard in the face that he hit the table like a rag doll, their glasses shattered under his body, sharp pieces hurting him. Rin could hear the gasp of pain as he curled up.

“FATHER!”

“Takeshi!”

Isao's shout, theirs. They jumped to their feet. Rin saw Isao running towards them, however before he reached Takeshi snapped out of it and grabbed the knife from the table. He was on his legs seconds later, eyes murderous. But before he could stab the man who was standing frozen seeing what he did, Isao grabbed his wrists and stood between them.

“Takeshi, please, no.”

Takeshi’s breath caught in his throat, his face was bleeding. But the betrayal in his eyes as he looked at Isao was worse.

He closed his eyes for a second trying to calm himself down and then dropped the knife, surprising them, and got out of Isao’s grip. He walked away without a word, just one last look at Isao that said it all.

“Takeshi…” Isao looked lost.

“What have you done?” Sousuke snapped, anger in his voice.

Isao ignored him, focused on Takeshi who suddenly stopped and clutched his chest as his other hand grabbed the nearest table to hold himself up.

“Takeshi?”

Their blood froze as suddenly his legs became too weak, the grasp loosened, and he collapsed on the floor lifelessly.

“TAKESHI!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isao and Takeshi look-alikes  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/117975184302/nightcloak-and-here-we-have  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/117975160982/nightcloak-so-here-we-have


	33. Red Poppy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He is fragile, like a prince of ice, of glass.”  
> ― Philippa Gregory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @energylikepoesie who drew beautiful Takeshi/Isao arts!  
> And we have a ship name, it's Takisao :) 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Come on, Isao… You have to clean yourself up.”

He starred at the opposite wall without moving. Nobu, his face worried, kneeled by him on the floor and put his hand on his shoulder.

It was so silent in the white corridor, majority of patients asleep, the lights deemed.

Iwao was sat on the chair, starring at them, exchanging glances with Nobu.

A phone rang, making Akira jump. “Goodness…” He picked it quickly, its noise disturbing the silence. “Yes?”

A few quiet moments.

“I can’t. I don’t know when I will be back.” He quickly ended the conversation and hid the phone in his pocket. He slid down the wall and hugged his knees as he rested his head on them.

Kin was pacing, his face pale.

“Kid, go home.” Nobu looked at Akira, still by Isao’s side. “There’s no need for all of us to be here.”

“No.”

Nobu sighed.

Rin lifted his head when he heard steps and Kisumi showed up with small wet towels. He handed a few to him, and went to his father. Rin moved to kneel opposite to Sousuke and took his hands in his to start cleaning the blood off them.

Sousuke was so pale even his lips lost the entire colour.

*

“What the fuck is taking so long?” Akira growled, now pacing himself. “He was hit, he fainted. Nothing else!”

Nobu opened his mouth to say something, but decided to let him live in denial.

Takeshi wasn’t alright. At first Nobu thought that he just fainted from being struck in the head. He really was hit hard, and he hit the table even harder. Being as thin as he was it had a bigger impact on his body automatically. Plus he just had a heart attack.

But he was so still and lifeless when they kneeled by him. Isao’s hands were shaking, Sousuke was freaking out. Takeshi’s pulse was weak, they slapped his cheeks to wake him up, but there was absolutely no reaction.

There was something worse happening, and it terrified him that the doctors did not come out of his room for what seemed ages now.

Isao had so much guilt written on his face and Sousuke sending him angry looks definitely did not help. He understood them both. Shiginos were trained to be unconditionally loyal and protective. It ran in their blood. Isao not only did not protect Takeshi and that from his own father, but he also stopped him from protecting himself. He doubted Isao did it because he wanted to save his father though. That man screwed him up for eighteen years and then wanted him to fix nothing till the end of his life. Isao loved Takeshi.

Takeshi had no chance to actually stab the guy and going against a mad boxer, who already did not stop himself from hitting the mafia boss in front of everybody, equalled to getting killed. If he’d punch him again which he probably would, Takeshi would die. Shiginos knew how to hit.

Even if Takeshi would manage to stab him, his sneaky moves not slowed by a miracle, it would only result in him getting locked up. They will already have problems. Everybody saw what happened.

Sousuke was still a confused child. Trying to impress his father, thinking he isn’t enough for Takeshi. The kid knew so little about his father, he only saw him as the terrifying, strong, invincible man. He wanted to be the same.

If he only knew his father was more breakable than he was.

He hoped they would properly talk one day. It was truly everything that Sousuke really needed.

What they both needed.

*

When the doctor finally walked out of Takeshi’s room, they stood up quickly, waiting for an answer.

He sighed and looked at them. “I don’t know.”

“What?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” he whispered. “His heart failed again. His lungs are barely working. I had to put him on life support to stabilise him.”

“YOU had to do something wrong!” Akira walked up to him. “He was just hit! There was nothing wrong with him for the whole night! He was happy, laughing…!”

“When he arrived, he already was in a bad condition and it’s getting worse even though we are doing everything to prevent it. The problem is that we do not know what’s causing it.”

“Maybe there’s something wrong with the medicine you gave him.” Sousuke spoke up, voice shaky.

“No. They’re just vitamins, painkillers. Nothing could cause this.” He brushed a hand through his hair tiredly. “Besides, I’ve run a blood test. It’s bad like always but it doesn’t tell me anything.”

They turned quickly when a nurse walked out of the room.

“He improved, we could wake him up.”

“Can we see him?” Kin asked quickly.

“Wait a second,” he replied and walked inside the room.

Iwao sighed loudly, frustrated.

They were let inside after a few minutes. Rin stood by Kisumi seeing him moving to the side to let others get closer.

There were too many of them anyway.

*

Takeshi looked sick. Very sick.

His face was white underneath the dark and red bruises, the oxygen mask helping him breath. There were more machines behind him than last time. Rin could not count the little cables and IVs attached to his body because there were so many.

He looked so small.

Rin starred surprised when Sousuke stood by him, but instead of saying anything he slipped his hand in his, giving an encouraging squeeze.

“Takeshi…” Nobu sat on the chair right by Takeshi, seeing Isao unsurely staying at the end of the bed, hand tightly holding the metal frame. Other guys gathered as close as possible.

“H… Hey.”

Rin closed his eyes hearing the weak whimper. God, he sounded like he could collapse again at any second. He did not even open his eyes.

“Hey, buddy, you have to keep strong, yeah?” Kin put his hand on his thin shoulder, thumb stroking it lightly. “They will figure it out soon and help you properly.”

“Mhm…”

“I’m going to point a gun to the doctor’s head to motivate him in a second, I swear to God.” Akira turned like trying to spot and warn the doctor who just left.

“Chill, Akira.” At least the corners of Takeshi’s lips lifted a little in a smile.

Rin wondered why Akira was reacting so. Maybe it was simply about showing he cares about the boss to score points. But that sounded a little cruel to him. He did not seem like a guy that found it easy to lie either, but what did Rin know. These people were constantly surprising him.

“They probably gave you something wrong and now are being ridiculous.”

Takeshi shook his head weakly.

“You did not take anything when we weren’t looking, did you?” Iwao put his hands on his hips.

“No…”

“Maybe it’s something in the pills after all,” Isao said quietly.

Rin smiled seeing Takeshi opening his eyes to look at him. Isao moved uncomfortably.

“Hi, traitor.” He cracked a little smile.

“I did not betray you,” Isao said quickly. “You know I did not.”

“Love seeing you all fidgety though.”

“Bastard.” He snorted, but his eyes were worried.

“You two are so boring with your incapability to stay mad at each other for more than five minutes.” Akira side-eyed them, arms across his chest.

“Sorry we’re not entertaining enough for you.” Isao starred at him. He walked up to Nobu. “Move.”

The man rolled his eyes and let him sit by Takeshi.

“Takeshi…”

He shook his head, cutting Isao off.

“They took them,” Takeshi mumbled.

“What?”

“The… pills.”

They thought he was just falling asleep, strength leaving him quickly, but the monitor started making warning noises and they jumped to their feet. “Takeshi?!”

“Get a doctor!”

“Takeshi? What’s wrong?”

He paled; a painful sound escaped his mouth as he bent in half on his side.

Sousuke let go off Rin’s hand and quickly walked up to them. “Dad?”

“Takeshi?” Isao put his hand on his cheek, eyes concerned. “What is it?”

It seemed like he tried to say something, but he choked on his breath, quickly weakening as his shaking hand grasped Isao’s wrist.

“Talk to me,” Isao whispered. “Come on, _love..._ ”

Someone suddenly grabbed his arms and he was pushed away.

*

“We’re losing him.”

God, he always prayed to never hear those words. They made his blood run cold.

Isao slowly slid down the wall and sat on the floor once they were all shoved out of the room. They were quiet, starring everywhere just not in each other’s eyes, the silence scaring them.

He wasn’t sure how much time went by when the doctor finally showed up in front of them.

“Kidney failure,” he stated.

“Why?” Sousuke was sat right opposite Isao, which he only just noticed. Rin was holding his hand tightly.

“We’ve checked the pills. There’s nothing wrong with them. We still don’t know.”

“But he’s getting worse.” Even Nobu, the most composed, seemed lost.

The doctor starred at them, and finally spoke quietly.

“I had to put him on life support.”

He was dying, was what Rin knew he meant.

“He got better last time and woke up,” Akira said quickly.

“He won’t this time. Not without us doing more.”

“Then do something!” Sousuke stood up. “You’re his doctor! Run some tests! It’s your fucking job!”

“I am running all the tests again, we have to wait for the results.”

He was calm, Rin noticed. So clearly upset, but understanding why Sousuke was acting the way he did.

“Isao, have you noticed anything unusual? Anything?” The doctor asked.

Isao shook his head, jaw set. He looked like he was in pain.

A nurse came out of the room. She whispered something in the doctor’s ear and walked away.

“What is it?” Iwao asked.

“He’s getting worse very quickly.”

Isao tugged at his hair.

God…

“Can we get back inside?” Nobu asked for all of them, voice soft.

The doctor nodded and opened the door.

*

A few months ago Rin saw this man for the first time after years. He was so terrifying, sure of himself, hovering over others. He made Rin feel small. Dressed appropriately, no smile on his face, eyes scanning the room. It took awhile to realise that in reality he wasn’t just a killing machine, a dictator, a creature setting rules in the world.

He was cruel. And so was Sousuke. They did not care about people who they did not see as important.

But those they did see as important were treated like treasures by them.

In a way he became more terrifying to Rin when he realised that the real Takeshi had a lot of femininity, weird innocence, in him. When Takeshi stood in front of him that first night, just looking at him told you that he was important and not to be played with. Simply because he seemed influential and strong. The Takeshi who could look fragile, be so pretty, flirty, nice, and then turn around and tell someone to kill another… he was scarier. Because you judge people, their abilities, by how they look. And it definitely was not a way to go with Takeshi. Master manipulator, showing you what he wanted you to see.

He was so devious that after seeing it all Rin still wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t.

*

Now Takeshi was lying on the bed, half the size Rin could remember he was when he saw him for the first time in the club. He was still, only his chest lifting up and down, as the air flew in and out of his lungs through the machine, the tube in his mouth. There were dark bruises under his eyes that were now covered with a bandage after they suddenly started bleeding. Black unruly hair was making a scary contrast to his greyish face with sunken cheeks.

Something was quickly killing him. He was perfectly fine just a few hours ago.

They brought in another machine, this one forcing his kidneys to work.

So many cables, machines, tubes, IVs… Working hard to keep his organs from shutting down. His body like a lifeless doll dependant on it all.

It was like he was already dead. Rin knew all his organs were failing. They were desperately trying to keep them from stopping working completely.

He wasn’t sure if after all of that Takeshi even could come back to being fully functional.

*

Isao was holding Takeshi’s hand tightly like he could magically give him his strength, while his eyes focused on Takeshi’s face. Rin smiled unsurely seeing Kisumi right by his side, ensuring their arms were touching.

Quietly supporting.

Rin was sat in Sousuke’s lap. His arm was tight around his waist, other hand grasping his father’s. Rin just held him.

He could remember when he wished for them to become more familiar with each other. This is not what he had on his mind.

“He did not even eat anything, did he?” Akira asked quietly.

Nobu shook his head.

Silence.

Isao pressed his forehead to the hand he was holding tightly.

“Only drinks that new guy was giving him.”

Iwao sighed. “They tested his blood. Poison would show up in his blood.”

Isao lifted his head and looked at them, eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” Kin cocked his head.

“Why was he bringing Takeshi all the drinks?”

“New ones always show off. He knew it depends on Takeshi whether he will stay.” Iwao shrugged. “They always jump around him.”

“It’s not poison. It’s nothing he ate. It’s nothing he drank. It’s not the pills.” Akira recited. “Maybe it’s what you had.” He looked at Sousuke.

“Leukaemia shows up in blood results.”

Akira growled and hid his face in his hands.

*

Rin ordered himself a small meal at the hospital’s café and sat in the corner. It was an early morning, so it was pretty quiet, only a few doctors eating a quick breakfast.

Takeshi’s health got worse over the past few hours, but they managed to keep him fairly stable. Isao and Sousuke were not leaving his side. Rin knew they were afraid.

If this was the end, they wanted every last moment of it.

*

If their minds wouldn’t be rightfully focused on Takeshi right now, they would call him a coward. He should be by Sousuke now, his boyfriend, supporting him, not running away and hiding in corners.

But he had to go out for at least a few minutes. In theory Takeshi’s situation should not have any impact on him. He wasn’t his father. The man did not even like him, and did not hide it from him.

Maybe like any normal human being he simply grew attached to him after spending quite a bit of time in his presence lately. Besides, seeing anyone in such state was terrifying, whether you loved them or not. Seeing someone powerful looking like a fragile, vulnerable figurine, fully dependant on others, made something flip in his stomach.

But the pain on Sousuke’s face was the worst. Rin could feel him begging his father to stay. Both he and Isao seemed to be praying for all the strength. For a miracle. Rin could not imagine what would happen if Takeshi would die.

Putting aside Sousuke needing to take his place, would he be even capable of dealing with his father’s death? He was so dependant on him, and they only just began fixing everything that was wrong between them. Their relationship did not deserve this. Sousuke did not deserve this.

He was selfishly mainly thinking about Sousuke, but he was the one he cared about the most.

“Can I?”

He jumped a little and saw Akira with a drink in his hand. Rin nodded and he sat by him.

“I can give you a lift back to school if you wish.”

Rin shook his head. He wasn’t that much of an asshole.

“I doubt Sousuke will remember whether you stayed or not.”

“Maybe I am here for Takeshi, too?”

Akira chuckled. “Are you taking us for complete idiots?”

Rin’s cheeks blushed. “No.”

“It’s alright, there is no personal reason why you should care whether he lives or not. Although, trust me, you do want him to survive this.” He poured the cola in his glass.

“I care about Sousuke.”

“Then you care about Takeshi.” Akira took a sip. “Without him, everything will go to hell. And that means they will start shooting to your boyfriend first.”

Rin pushed his meal away. He did not feel like eating anymore.

“Takeshi holds everything together. People are terrified of him. The moment he dies, the gangs start rioting, the police takes guns out, our houses and cars get burned, our passports taken away, and they start shooting to us like to ducks. We’re dead people.”

“Leave the kid alone, Akira.” Iwao and Nobu showed up. “You’re done? Go back to Takeshi.”

He stood up without a word and left, sending them an angry look.

“Sorry for him.” They both sat in front of Rin.

“He’s just being honest.” Rin shrugged. Well, and he managed to make him feel like shit.

“He’s being emotional and overprotective. Get used to it, he always gets like that when Takeshi is hurt.” Nobu smiled.

“He really likes him…”

“You can say that Takeshi saved Akira’s life. So kid is grateful and grew attached. He isn’t thinking straight.”

Oh.

“Sousuke asked us if we could take you back to Samezuka.” Iwao changed the subject. “So, if you’re ready to go…”

“No. I am staying.”

“Kiddo, your support is appreciated, but there really is no point.” Nobu sighed. “They still don’t know what’s wrong, Takeshi won’t get better unless they find out, Sousuke won’t leave his side. There’s no point in you staying here.”

“I care, okay?” Rin’s hands tightened on the glass. “I really want him to be okay, I just…”

“Rin.” He was surprised hearing Iwao using his name. “No one expects you to be freaking out about Takeshi. He’s just your boyfriend’s father. And it’s not easy to be there now, either. Sousuke has all of us, by staying here you only make him worried about you. Let’s just take you home.”

*

Akira played with the little flower. He was sat on the grass in the park right by the hospital, hoping the fresh air will clear his head.

The man who saved his life was dying and he could do nothing about it.

It was killing him inside.

Thirteen years ago he was living on a street. Not wanted by anybody, coming from a pathological family.

Dancing and music were his life. He was stealing to survive. But since Yakuza and police were tightening their grip on his town, everything became way more difficult. Winning a dancing competition could ensure enough money to leave and try to do something with his life.

But when you’re starving, it is difficult to come up with choreography. Especially one that would make you successful.

One day he made his way to the old abandoned hall that once was a gymnasium. He loved practicing in this place, and, well, it wasn’t bad to sleep there. The only problem was that sometimes security was checking it, so he could not stay there every night.

He was shocked when he saw a young person practicing. They were tiny, slim, their hair tied in a ponytail at the top of the head, black hairband keeping shorter dark hair from falling into their eyes. They were dressed in black but reminded him of the little ballerinas in music boxes. They were so damn flexible he stood in awe, hiding from their view. He wanted to watch.

It was sort of true that street guys took gymnastics and ballet as the posh, privileged type of art. You have money, you can do it. It isn’t real dancing. Real… anything.

How could a person understand dancing and music, not knowing the real life?

But now the gymnasium was silent, yet Akira could hear music through his dancing.

*

He was like a feather, so light and effortless when jumping, so flexible when stretching, doing things Akira never dreamed of. Standing on hands, stretching legs, bending them this way, that way, arms straight, standing on one leg, other stretched up behind him… Gymnastic, ballet, freestyle dancing… He was mixing everything together and it shockingly worked.

And he was doing most of it with his eyes closed, sometimes on a thin bench.

It was more than dancing. It was art.

Akira did not disturb him. He came everyday. At the same hour. And only watched.

He made Akira want to dance again. Gave him ideas. And so he began. But there was always something missing.

One day the boy was jumping when he took one wrong step and fell off the bench. It was an automatic reaction of Akira’s to run to him. He did not catch that the boy did not seem surprised seeing him there.

“What’s your name?” He asked him then, as he took the bandage out of his bag to tie it around his hurt ankle. He had big dark eyes, so easy to stare in too long.

It was probably first time he questioned his sexuality. He learned later that it had nothing to do with it.

“Akira.”

That day they went for a meal, which Seiji promised to pay for.

He found out the guy indeed was rich, and did not hide that it all belonged to his parents. He did not like talking about his life, so Akira did not feel bad for not wanting to talk about his either.

He told him about the competition though.

And that’s when he saw him smirking for the first time, sat in the dark studio, with moon as the only light on them.

They danced together. The fairy, face masked, and the street boy. It was such a weird mix, he wasn’t sure if they would win. But, God, having him as a partner was worth losing simply because of not obeying the rules.

He could lift him, touch him, hold his little waist, dance with him in a perfect unison. They acted a love story out, ending with foreheads pressed together, lining in for a kiss they never took, because Seiji was meant to leave before the last note.

Love for music. Their love for music. How different kinds could become one. Yet always different, hence they never kissed.

And they won.

Seiji did not take any of the money; he said Akira would owe him a favour instead. That one day he will come and ask for something. Akira was confused but agreed. He saved his life, he owed him big.

It took three days without him to finally stop living in denial and realise he left. Ironically, just like in their choreography. He quickly started missing him.

But instead of drowning in sorrow, Akira focused on trying to get something out of the money he received. He got himself a little flat, invested a little, and clean and dressed appropriately he could get a proper job. He could finally live like a normal human being.

Three months later someone knocked on his door.

It was Seiji.

The same pretty boy, suddenly looking older dressed in a stylish white shirt and a black blazer, hair nicely cut.

Colour him surprised when he told him he runs Yakuza. And that his name was really Takeshi Yamazaki.

Akira laughed. It had to be a joke. There was no fucking way.

But he sat there calmly, just like that in his small apartment, expensive rings on his fingers, silver cuffs in his sleeves.

His fucking ballerina, an innocent, charming, God sent, lifesaver fairy, was a Yakuza boss.

He wanted to kick him out. Like hell he would join a gang. Okay, he was good at stealing but so what. He wanted a normal life. Even if lots of money, expensive cars, houses, all sounded good.

It took him a few months to realise why he agreed to join ten minutes after he received the proposition.

It was the impact Takeshi had on people. His fucking charm mixed with manipulation. He gave you what you needed. He made you need him. He made you think he understands you. He played you like a little toy. Puppet master pulling your strings.

He made you love him.

Then let you go when you were already so attached that you wanted to follow no matter what.

It was terrifying in a way, how he put him on a leash and he was grateful for it. Or it would be, if he suffered for it. But Takeshi did not make you regret. Takeshi did not lie.

Takeshi fought for him when his group protested from having a newbie in the highest rank. He bought him his first car. He taught him how to drive. He taught him how to behave at a table. How to steal, fight, shoot.

He had money, a luxurious life, and a family thanks to him. They became his family, one he never had.

Takeshi even danced with him sometimes.

Even though he manipulated him, Akira realising all of this was a plan since the beginning, Takeshi having an eye on him for awhile, he showed he is special to him many times.

Takeshi never brought anyone else, never looked for anyone else. Bosses do not recruit in such way. It’s another’s job. Akira was an exception. Takeshi saw something in him, wanted him from the beginning by his side, instead of making him climb up levels from the very bottom. If you do not belong to a well known family, you start from the bottom. Unless the boss has another plan for you.

He still had to fight for his position, every step of his watched, people wanting him to fail. But he could not have a better beginning in Yakuza.

Takeshi was and always will be important to him. He saved him.

*

Takeshi was such a puppet master making everybody do what he wanted because he just knew how to talk, how to smile, how to look at people. He was strong, sneaky, clever, he was so fucking perfect.

And yet so fragile at the same time. He could hold himself for so long sometimes, but when he shattered, he shattered completely.

On the surface, he was invincible. But deep inside he was delicate like a porcelain doll.

Akira knew he was struggling with some personal problems, but he wasn’t let in the secret. There were moments when Takeshi was disappearing from a public eye. When his friends were whispering, worried. Sometimes he looked healthy, strong and manly, and completely not recognizable for him who remembered him as a person who at first look you could not tell whether was a girl or a boy. Sometimes he was the fairy. And sometimes he was so thin Isao had to hold him up.

Ah, yes, Isao. It was like Takeshi could flirt with everybody, but God if his eyes did not linger the longest on that man. Always turning away before Isao could catch him.

The fact that there was something between them did not take him long to recognise. Everybody knew. But it was like a dirty secret no one really spoke about. It’s just how it was. He was curious, especially when he found out they both had sons, Isao was married, Takeshi lost his wife.

Isao was pretty obvious, however it was easy to excuse him because it was his job to protect and care for Takeshi. He was his bodyguard. Takeshi on the other hand was switching moods often. Sometimes he was open, sometimes he was pushing everybody away. Especially Isao. The more he hated himself, the more he was pushing Isao away.

The scariest moments were when he was losing it completely. And he did not know what to think about the way he was with Sousuke especially. Why he wanted to play such a monster, when Akira saw how much it hurt him. God, he could be a monster. But not to those he loved.

Akira still wasn’t sure what was causing his problems. He was getting worse when things weren’t working out as they should, so he assumed it was sort of a punishment he was inducing himself. Hurting himself when he, in his mind, failed. Starving his body, because in those moments it was the only control he could have. He was a control freak, so it would make sense.

With the amount of expectations others had when it came to him, Takeshi expecting more than possible from himself, and apparently a completely screwed up childhood, Akira did not need to be a psychologist to know it all was probably a reason for his problems. He just did not want to assume too much because he heard many stories over the years and learned that it’s always best to check with the one it was all about after all.

Because at the end of the day, Takeshi always managed to stand sure on both of his legs. He went through one hell after another, and always won.

This was why he was seen as invincible. This was why he was feared.

*

He cared about him. Takeshi stole his heart all those years ago and kept it, not giving him a key to the safe.

And now he was lying on the hospital bed, struggling for every single breath, still like he was already dead.

The strongest man he knew suddenly frail and fully dependant on others like the little red poppy in his hand.

Akira blinked and straightened up quickly, eyes on the flower, red petals fluttering in the wind.

_Florist._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it, guys! Thank you for all the kudos and comments <3 It means the world to me.
> 
>  
> 
> And I found models resembling the characters, if you wish to have a look:  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/119149881577/nightcloak-invincible-characters


	34. Obsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love.”  
> ― J.K. Rowling

“Why a red poppy?” Sousuke asked quietly in the hospital room.

He and Isao were sitting on each side of Takeshi. He was still unconscious, his chest lifting up and down automatically. Even though he stayed fairly stable, he was getting thinner. Something was killing him and they did not know how much time they had. They did not leave his side since he ended up in the hospital. They could not.

Every minute counted.

“Florist associates red poppies with your dad.”

Sousuke blinked surprised. “Why?”

“You know his speciality are flowers. Drugs. Poisons. He can create magic with the ingredients he has,” he sighed. “Red poppies… They’re pretty yet fragile. Poppies, the papaver somniferum, or as you’re more likely to know them as opium poppies have opium seeds from which you can create many drugs…” He looked at Takeshi. “Pretty and so deceitful on the outside, murderous if you wish on the inside.”

“Just like dad,” Sousuke said quietly.

“Just like your dad,” Isao nodded.

“Good that Akira betted on Florist…” Sousuke looked at his father’s face.

When Sousuke got sick it quickly showed. He did not recognise himself after the first chemotherapy. His hair fell out, he got sickly white, his moves became sluggish. He was a ghost of himself, the weight was dropping off him at an alarming rate. Yet seeing his father so quickly changing was something he could not comprehend.

Not his dad. Not the man who was feared by everybody, but his closest friends. He even scared them sometimes. Takeshi was so strong, so invincible. How could he be so dependant on them now, getting sicker every day? He hardly recognised him, with all the cables, tubes, bandages, face grey with dark blueish shadows under his eyes, and bruises from getting hit. His body and face were so thin, bones prominent, that Sousuke was scared that if he would touch him, he’d break.

“Florist did cross my mind, since we all betted on poisoning. But when there was nothing in results, and your dad was getting sick this quickly… I thought it’s something else.”

Sousuke furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not likely for Florist to want to kill your dad…” Isao looked a little unsure.

“He tried to kill me.” He did not seem like someone against murder to Sousuke.

“I don’t think he would. I think he was just scaring your dad.” Isao straightened up in the chair. It wasn’t really fair keeping Sousuke in the dark, since now the game officially began. He will find out sooner or later anyway. Even better if sooner. For all of them. “The reason Akira betted on Florist was because of the state your dad was put into. Weakened to extreme but still alive. Anybody else given a chance to hurt him would ensure he’d die right away.”

“We still don’t know what it is though,” Sousuke murmured.

“No, but the doctor would focus on looking for something else but poison. Instead he gave him blood transfusion he needed to stabilise and confirm it definitely is some sort of poison after all. And if it is something that they can’t figure out then definitely Florist stands behind it.”

“Why Florist only hurts dad?”

Isao stood up with a sigh, made his way to the window. It was a nice day, the sunshine was strong, people walking around with as little on them as possible. And yet he felt like it was raining.

The world without Takeshi was sad.

He missed his laugh, his pretty dark eyes, the gorgeous smile. Takeshi could make whole groups of people fall in love with him with just a few clever words and charm.

He made Isao fall in love with the way he watched people like they were all so interesting, manipulating them like a perfect puppet master, so pretty and innocent, and then turning around and whispering in his ear to kill the one he just kissed on the cheek.

Sometime later he only had to look.

The way he had enough strength to break another’s neck or suffocate, his thin hand in a vice grip on a throat, and then touch him with softness that sent shivers down his spine, because somewhere, at the back of his mind, he felt the sharp nails, too.

The way he moved, the way he deceived everybody but him. The way his eyes always stayed dark, even when he laughed.

Sometimes he felt like he did not understand him himself. And maybe that’s how it was supposed to be. At the beginning he thought that Takeshi was just too sneaky, too manipulative, too… clever for him. But the truth was that Takeshi simply lived in a slightly different world than everybody else. You just had to get used to it.

“Isao?”

“Florist is fascinated with your dad. To the point of obsession.” He turned around and sat in the chair, finally looking at Sousuke. “He loves flowers and he sees your dad as the prettiest, most deadly one there is. And as flowers are dependant on him, and he can do whatever he wants with them, he wishes your dad to be just like them.”

Sousuke paled a little. “God… I thought he’s just another gangster who wants dad’s place…”

“That’s what we thought at the beginning. Well, we thought he just wants in our group.” Isao’s face saddened, his eyes on Takeshi’s face.

Sousuke stood up and took his chair to put it beside Isao’s and sit by him. He bumped his arm softly in his, encouraging him.

He was acting immature, snapping at Isao when he stood in his father’s way. Isao loved his dad. He would protect him with his life. It was embarrassing that he needed Nobu to take him on the side and explain why Isao reacted the way he did.

Isao helped him so much throughout the years. Never left his father’s side. Sousuke should have never doubted him.

“It was your dad’s choice who to bring to the top with him. We assumed Florist wanted to be one of us. Your father was impressed by what he was capable of, they were meeting, and everything was going well. I was surprised when one day it all stopped.”

“Dad figured out he’s a creep?”

“He did not want to tell but he was acting so… fidgety that I assumed he was hurt by him,” Isao said quietly but seeing Sousuke tensing he quickly added, “I told him I will go to Florist if he won’t tell me, so he finally said he did not do anything. He just did not like the vibe.” Isao shrugged.

“Florist wasn’t happy about being pushed away?”

“He started sending your dad flowers. Beautiful, big bouquets. Offering best drugs. Fair play,” he shrugged again. “Guy wanted to buy himself in, realised he screwed up. That’s what I thought. But after around a week Takeshi started acting weirdly. He was doing everything very automatically, suddenly decided to meet with Florist again and began spending every evening with him…” he chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Guys told me that I am overreacting and being a jealous loser.”

“Oh, they thought dad fallen in love?”

“Yeah. Which was bullshit.” There was something funny about Isao feeling insulted whenever someone thought he misjudged Takeshi’s behaviour. “I kept an eye on him but since he overall seemed fine I did not do a thing.”

“Was he drugging him?”

Isao nodded. “Those flowers he was sending him were spiked with drugs. Made your dad vulnerable. Easy to manipulate.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “He called me one day. Begged me to get him from Florist’s mansion, because he did not feel well, he knew there was something wrong. I was with Nobu and Iwao, we went there as quickly as possible. Florist was tying him up when we finally got there and your dad was unconscious.” His hands tightened on his knees. “It was the first time I failed your father. I knew there was something wrong and did not protect him.”

“It wasn’t your fault…”

“Would you be saying that if he did something worse before we got there?” His eyes were sad.

Sousuke looked down.

“Takeshi finally told us how Florist was completely obsessed with him, complimenting him all the time, fascinated with whatever your dad did. He wanted to know everything about him. Compared him to red poppies…” Isao shook his head. “Every single enemy of Florist dies painfully and quickly. Takeshi is always only weakened by him. And he always attacks when your dad is feeling well. When he’s healthy. Florist freaks out when your father looks strong. Whenever he does not resemble his red poppies, whenever he’s not the fantasy Florist created. He wants him weak and dependant on him, so he could always play with him. He wants Takeshi to need him.”

“What a sick fuck…” Sousuke stood up, arms around himself. This story was giving him shivers.

He could remember when his father warned him that people wanting you dead are half of the problem. Most of the time those who wish for you to die are afraid of you. It is not difficult to get bodyguards, to learn how to protect yourself, to outsmart people filled with rage.

People who you should fear are those who want to play with you. Who have time. Who want to get to know you. Who use the information to hit in the most sensitive part of you. Who are not in a rush.

People like Florist were way more dangerous than killers.

When you kill someone, you end their life. Nothing else. That’s the whole damage. They’re not there anymore, that’s it. When you kill someone, instead you hurt their friends, family, anyone who loved them. They suffer for years. The one in question dies quickly unless you ensure they suffer as long as possible.

It was a cold calculation, but that was the harsh truth.

When you want to hurt someone, you do not kill them. You find out everything about them. You become their friend. You pretend to love them. And then you ruin their relationships, kill their friends, family. Ruin their business. That’s how you make them suffer. You weakened them. You break them apart psychologically. You make them lose everything. You do things that make death look like a present from God. 

What Florist was doing was even worse.

Because he wanted to control his dad. And he wanted him to be thankful for it.

*

“Your father said something about dad selling himself to accomplish what he did.”

Sousuke did not have much time to think about it, but two things Isao’s father said that evening were on the back of his mind since. Now that Takeshi was stable, he could not help but finally ask.

Isao opened his mouth in shock, disbelief on his face.

“He showed him some photo, I assume of you two together since dad said that there’s no problem, because it did not go to press,” Sousuke explained. “He said dad does not care what people think about him, because he is used to them thinking he is useless trash that people like only for money. That he’s nothing, that granddad knew he was nothing, surprise he accomplished anything, but he ruined everything along the way anyway. He asked him how many times he sold himself to get to the top. He wanted dad to leave you alone because he would dirty your name. He added something about a contract, too.” All those words were stuck in his head. They burned.

Isao seemed speechless, starring at him like he was seeing him for the first time in his life. He shook his head, for a while not saying anything.

“What contract?” Isao finally whispered, eyes on Takeshi’s bruised face like expecting to find an answer in it.

“You don’t know?”

“No… He never told me anything.”

“I assume it was something to keep him quiet and away from you. That’s how it sounded.” Sousuke watched him closely. If he loved his dad then surely that should piss him off. If someone would hurt his Rin like this…

“I need to find out,” Isao said quietly and stood up. “Stay here, I will be just outside the hospital, okay?” And he left quickly, without sparing another look at him, thoughts already somewhere else.

“Okay…”

**

“Father?”

A blonde boy approached a man with white hair, sitting in the garden surrounded by a massive amount of lots of different kind of original flowers. It was a place to die for.

Literally. Half of them could be used to create potions that could kill a man.

“Did you find out anything?”

The boy sighed. He wasn’t sure what was going on. For someone who wanted Takeshi dead, his father seemed way too invested in his well-being. It was confusing him.

“The rumour is that he was hit by his bodyguard’s father.”

“Isao’s.”

“Yeah. That one…” He scratched his head. “They’re saying he is poisoned, can’t figure out by what, it’s killing him…” he shrugged. “He’s in a coma, apparently in a really bad state.”

Florist furrowed his eyebrows. This is not what should be happening.

“Why do you care, father? You wanted him dead.”

“He was supposed to get weaker, not die. There is something wrong.” He scratched his shaved chin. “Get our spy here, I need to know whether he gave him something else or more than what I prescribed.”

His son made a face but left quickly, leaving him with his thoughts.

The little dose Takeshi was receiving over the past few weeks was so minimal that he was supposed to barely notice it. Just feel a little off. Find it more difficult to wake up in the morning. Get thinner, body fragile again. Put that worried look on Isao’s face, his fingers softly tracing the dark shadows under his tired eyes, prominent cheekbones, scared it’s all beginning again.

What could have made Takeshi this sick? It was obviously the reaction to his drugs since they found nothing else. But something had to cause them to work differently.

He could not let him die…

**

The doctor flipped yet another page of the large textbook. He was studying flowers, the poisons they could create. The problem was that not only textbooks did not have all the flowers Florist was an owner of, since he created them himself, but even knowing all the poisons, it was possible Florist generated something especially for Takeshi.

Which most likely was the case.

Which meant he was never going to find out what it was.

But he needed at least a hint. Then he could try different techniques, medicines, anything, and maybe it would help.

**

It hurt seeing Takeshi like this. Yamazakis were dear to him. He could remember when Takeshi was born, cute little baby with strong lungs. Boy, he never had a louder baby in his arms. Little imp who could never sit in one place for too long, loved hanging on trees, and talking to random people like he knew them all.

He could remember when Sousuke was born, bringing tears to Takeshi’s eyes.

Now Takeshi’s son was supposed to be a dad in a few months. Scary how quickly time flies by.

Takeshi never had it easy. He was an artist who loved music, movies, art, gymnastics… He had so much appreciation for beauty in the world, he himself being one of them. But he was supposed to be a cold-blooded killer. Run mafia. Use people. Calculate money, not much else. And even though he was such a genius and could mix what he loved with what he needed to do, resulting in becoming the most influential, most feared gangster… It would not be enough for his father anyway.

Nothing ruins children more than realisation that they will never be good enough for their parents. He knew Takeshi’s mental problems came from his childhood.

It was sad when parents cared more about your looks and hobbies than what you were capable of. Especially in the world of mafia a man displaying anything known as feminine trait, and the other way around, was a bigger dishonour than anything else.

At least it was changing now. Takeshi surely set straight anyone he could.

But now he was lying in the hospital bed, barely alive, and he did not know how to help him.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly.

Knock. Knock.

“Come in.” He cleared his throat.

A tall man walked in, hood covering his face. The doctor furrowed his eyebrows.

“Florist.” He stood up quickly when the man took the hood off and showed his face, recognizable white hair tied back in a ponytail.

He lifted his hands in defence. “I am not here to cause harm.”

“What do you want?”

“I’m here to help.”

The doctor blinked in surprise.

“Did you find out what’s causing Takeshi’s state yet?” He sat in front of the desk, opposite to him, one leg over another. The rings shined on his hands.

“Are you trying to make me think it’s not you?” The doctor sat, too, hand still on the button he had under his table.

When you treat mafia, you learn how to keep yourself safe. One press and the security would run in.

“What I have given him should not put him in the state he currently is in,” he explained. “In normal circumstances.”

The doctor bent in closer. If Florist wanted to talk, then he would not stop him.

“There is only one explanation for why nothing manages to fully heal him and the drugs are acting like he took way more of them than he did.”

**

“You’re here.” Rin smiled seeing Sousuke.

He was waiting for an USG. Even though he texted Sousuke that he was going to have one, he did not expect him to come. They barely spoke since he was pretty much kicked out of the hospital.

Theoretically he did not blame them. It was the mafia boss who was fighting for his life, the less people, then better. They did not trust him and he could understand that. They did not want anybody but those they knew would cause no harm by him.

He did not see Sousuke since then either.

“Of course I am.” Sousuke wrapped him in a hug, kissing the top of his head. “Sorry, I’ve been a shitty boyfriend the past few days.”

Rin shook his head. “I’d be by my dad now, too.”

“How are you feeling?”

They sat in the corridor, waiting for their turn. Sousuke placed his hand on his tummy, making Rin grin.

“It’s still too early.”

Sousuke made an impatient noise and put him arms across his chest. Rin kissed his cheek with a chuckle.

**

“Isao?” The doctor walked in quietly. He breathed out in relief when he noticed that only Isao was by Takeshi’s bed.

He lifted his head, eyes tired, his hand not letting go off Takeshi’s. The doctor took a chair and sat by him.

He had no idea how to tell him.

“What’s wrong?”

“I talked with Florist.”

“What?!” Isao straightened up.

“He came to my office. Wanted to help Takeshi.”

Isao looked away, face angry. “Help. He made him this ill in the first place.”

“Takeshi was not supposed to get this ill…” he explained unsurely.

“Huh?”

“You were right that Florist did not want to kill him, only weaken him to the extreme. But according to him there was supposed to be less damage.”

“Fantastic. I will remember to send him a ‘thank you’ card and beg for forgiveness that we assumed he was responsible for how bad Takeshi got.” He could not help the sarcasm. Isao was tired and pissed off. Takeshi was dying on his eyes and he was supposed to be happy that once again Florist just wanted to play with him, not actually kill him? That he guessed right?

Such a fucking relief, really! Poor Florist, he only wanted to play!

“He figured out why Takeshi got this sick,” the doctor said quietly.

Now Isao focused on him, biting his tongue.

“Well?”

The man closed his eyes for a moment, gathering the courage. “The only way it could happen was if certain hormones increased in the past few days. They made the drugs work with increased strength.”

“What hormones?” Isao was confused.

“I think Takeshi is pregnant.”

Isao breathed out. “You know he cannot be.”

“He did not tell you that there is a slight chance…”

Isao looked at him. “There was. But his father ensured he won’t be able to.”

This wasn’t his day. He could feel the rage building up. First he found out Takeshi signed some fucked up contract. For eighteen years he was ensured Takeshi was pushing him away because he hated himself and did not want anyone to love him. Now he was wondering whether he was forced to act coldly to him. Or maybe it was both.

His father reduced Takeshi’s hard work into nothing, stating in front of everybody that he just sells himself.

Now Florist came to the fucking rescue.

Which failed.

“His father?”

Isao sighed. “When Takeshi was a teenager his father bought drugs that were meant to ensure he won’t be able to get pregnant. I guess something to do with hormones. He hooked him up on IV at home, made him take it.”

God, he could remember this massacre like it was yesterday. Very soon after they were officially introduced to each other, Takeshi’s father decided to make a man out of his son since he was supposed to properly become a gangster.

He could do little with his son’s “feminine” behaviour, so he hit where he could. Like it was such a terrifying thing that his son displayed some feminine traits.

Isao knew there was something wrong when his father forbid him from going to Takeshi. But apparently Takeshi was simply busy with his father, doing something for mafia.

Well, according to him it was for mafia.

Isao called Takeshi in the morning after his father left. And if his father left it meant Takeshi’s had to leave too.

He did not pick up, so Isao ran to their home, not sure what to expect. He found Takeshi crying in his bedroom, curled up on the bed. He was sweaty, he was coughing, holding his stomach, pale like a ghost, face twisted in pain.

Isao felt bad for breathing out in relief when he told him it was drugs making him feel sick. But when your first thought seeing someone you love in such state is rape, suddenly another terrifying thing does not seem so bad.

That was, until he saw how much it hurt Takeshi. Until he realised the feeling was similar.

It wasn’t even about pregnancy itself. He knew there was a little chance for Takeshi anyway and so did Takeshi. It was simply about once again his father taking part of him. He had no right. Takeshi’s body belonged to him, not to his father.

When Takeshi told him that he has a dad who hates him, he thought they’re having similar issues. Which guy their age felt understood by his parents? His father was pissed he was more into books than sport. And, of course, that he did not want to devote his life to saving some jerk’s ass.

Luckily for him and his father the jerk turned out to be Takeshi for who he even got into sports. Luckily, just like his father, he had talent for boxing.

Takeshi really did everything his father wanted him to do. He proved to be better than his father, becoming the best. But it was never about the results. It was about Takeshi as a whole. He could become a fucking King and yet it would not be good enough because he also liked gymnastics.

It was the first time he held him in his arms, completely broken.

He wanted to kill his father.

That’s when he found out how a parent and child relationship can be much worse than what he had. It was only a beginning of finding out how much impact Takeshi’s father could have on his son. He thought getting slapped across the face is bad, and it was, especially when the abuser is your father, but when someone constantly makes you insecure with words, forces you to be that or this, reminds you how you’re never going to be enough…

Takeshi’s insecurities and self-hatred caused by his father were still with him, even though he died years ago.

**

The doctor closed his eyes.

“I still have to run tests. There really seems to be no other explanation,” he whispered. “Most likely those drugs did not work. Or they were not the accurate drugs in the first place. They should not cause this much pain.”

“I think the pain was mainly psychological,” murmured Isao.

“Still…”

“I know. I understand. Do whatever you need.” He took Takeshi’s hand in his, face upset. “What if he is?”

He looked at him sadly. This was the worst part. “The pregnancy increases certain hormones like oestrogen. His hormones need to come back to normal levels for him to wake up and start healing with our medicine.”

“So you will give him something that his father gave him then? To decrease the hormones?” Isao asked. “But he obviously needs those hormones, so wouldn’t that… Oh.” Isao paled and hid his face in his hands.

He put his hand on his shoulder and tightened the grasp feeling them shaking a little.

“When your ability to get pregnant is very low, then so is your chance to keep the pregnancy,” the doctor explained, voice soft. “He is very ill. You can see how quickly his health is worsening. It would be difficult for him to keep the pregnancy in a healthy state, so in this case…”

Isao nodded, hands still on his face.

“We could try…” he added quietly. “We could wait. Give it a chance. But I really do not believe Takeshi would survive a month, not to mention nine needed for the embryo to develop into a baby that could survive on its own. Since he is in the earliest stages as the blood test did not even recognise the pregnancy, the hormones will continue on increasing, which means he will continue on worsening.”

“You need to force a miscarriage.” Isao stated, pressing his fingers to his closed eyes.

“If you want me to save Takeshi, yes. But I will need your permission.”

“Permission?”

“Takeshi put his life in your hands. You signed the documents. You need to make the decision.”

“But there is no decision to make, you said it will kill him…”

“I informed you of his chances if you will decide to keep him in coma to try to let the embryo develop into a baby. I informed you of his chances if we will force a miscarriage. The choice is up to you.”

Isao looked at Takeshi, heart aching.

He was so mad at Takeshi’s father for forcing his son to do with his body what he wanted him to do. And now Isao was supposed to do the same to him, even if the situation was different. Even if Takeshi gave him permission. Even if Takeshi trusted him and knew Isao knew him best, so he’d choose what Takeshi would choose.

Isao would not think twice. It was a cold calculation. Takeshi’s life or trying to save an embryo that most likely wouldn’t survive anyway, but definitely would kill Takeshi? It wasn’t a child. There was nothing there yet.

Would Takeshi think the same though?

God, he wanted to tear Florist apart. 

**

“Here.” The doctor smiled, spotting the baby on the monitor.

Rin tried not to laugh feeling how tightly Sousuke was holding his hand. He watched the monitor with large eyes and then bent to get closer and see better. He finally got such a proud look on his face, screaming ‘I did it!’ that Rin started chuckling.

“Everything seems to be fine. How are you feeling, Rin?” The doctor gave him tissues to clear himself up after clicking the button to print the picture.

“I am fine!” Rin jumped off and grinned when he was handed the small photo. Another to add to his collection.

“Not feeling sick anymore?”

“Nope.”

“Not overworking yourself? I’ve heard you’re still swimming. Which of course is fine, but in small doses.”

“We have finals in a few days. I will only swim recreationally from then on.” Rin promised.

“Okay.” He stood up, too. “I trust you. Well then…” He smiled at them. “You can go. I will see you in a few weeks.”

*

“This is so cool.” Sousuke sat in the corridor and looked at the picture. “So cool.”

“Glad you think so.” Rin shook his head, laughing quietly, and let himself be tugged into Sousuke’s lap.

“You’re cool, too.” He bent to kiss Rin’s tummy.

Rin brushed his black hair, smiling when it tickled his fingers. He missed Sousuke. His arms wrapped around him, hugging him tightly. Sousuke returned the hug and kissed his cheek.

“I love you so much, you know?”

“I love you too.”

“I know it’s not easy for you. And I am making a lot of mistakes. And now I am not even by you…” He looked sorry.

“Sousuke, your dad is ill. Like I said, I would be by his side now too. I am not angry, you have not done anything wrong.” Rin stroked his cheek.

“I just…” Sousuke choked a little on his words. He gathered himself together. “I am terrified,” Sousuke whispered, eyes sincerely looking into his. “I am scared he won’t make it. I never… God, I’ve never seen him this ill. I can’t just be at school now, what if he will… and I won’t even be here… I…” Rin never saw him this scared.

“I know.” Rin stroked his hair as Sousuke pressed his cheek to his chest, holding him tightly. “But he has the best doctors, I am sure they will heal him. Soon he will be back on his legs and you two can bicker again.”

“Bicker…” Sousuke sighed. “I don’t even care whether he likes me or not. I just want him healthy and happy. He deserves it.”

Rin kissed the top of his head. “He loves you, you fool.”

**

“Are you sure about it?” The doctor asked.

Isao closed his eyes tightly and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everybody who keeps on commenting and messaging me! You guys are amazing!  
> Thank you so much for all the kudos, too <333  
> I hope you enjoyed!


	35. Fascination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let me play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @amalasdraws and @hissorihaka :)
> 
> Look at the beauties they created for me:  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/120543044312/amalasdraws-red-poppy-you-are-mine-now-takeshi  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/120466773302/amalasdraws-red-poppy-you-are-mine-now-takeshi  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/120234012077/1  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/120153310252/1

Where was he?

He opened his eyes to find himself in a place full of red flowers. Everything was behind a fog, at the beginning making him panic, assuming he was sitting in a pool of blood.

Red Poppies.

They were everywhere. Under him. Around him. On the walls.

Was he sitting in a swimming pool?

Empty swimming pool with red poppies growing out of the walls and ground.

What was going on?

He looked up.

But the sky was red, too.

Unless the red poppies were everywhere.

Maybe it wasn’t a swimming pool. Maybe this really was a box.

A closed one.

Calm down, calm down.

His breathing quickened, he tried to slow it down.

He had to get out of here.

He stood up slowly, when something tugged him down.

He looked at his hands.

The flowers were like strings around his hands, around his fingers. Holding him in place.

He could not even properly straighten up. He tried to tear them off, but they held him like…

Like a master holds his puppet.

He tried to walk away and fell. They held his legs, too.

What’s going on?

Suddenly a light brightened up the box. He covered his eyes hissing from pain.

He looked up from his lying position when it dimmed a little.

The red poppies looked like they were on fire.

“Oh, Takeshi, Takeshi…”

The voice seemed to be coming from everywhere. He looked around.

“Right behind you.”

A scream escaped his mouth when he suddenly showed up behind him.

“Florist,” he breathed out.

He held the strings in his hand in a tight grasp, looking weirdly unfitting in this place, all white hair and suit, seemingly the light himself.

“Takeshi,” he repeated, a smile spreading across his face. “It’s been awhile.”

When he tried to move away, Florist tugged the strings and dragged him closer to him. He ended up right in front of his shoes, unable to move.

Florist kneeled, smile gone from his face. “That wasn’t kind.”

“Leave me alone,” he whispered, feeling the strength leaving him.

“My poor little flower.” He reached for his cheek.

Takeshi tried to move away again, so he caught his jaw in a painful grasp, bending closer to whisper in his ear.

“You’re bleeding.”

**

“Takeshi? Takeshi!”

He woke up with a shout. Someone held him down. He looked around quickly, not knowing what’s going on.

“Shhh. It was just a nightmare.”

Wait. He knew this voice.

“Isao.”

“Hey, doll.”

He breathed out in relief. Only Isao called him that. Only Isao knew this nickname. He only used it when they were alone. He came up with it. It couldn’t have been anyone else.

His body hurt. He cringed when he felt something on his chest, hands, and fingers.

Oh God, maybe this was a dream…

“Shhh.” His soothing voice again. “It’s just IVs…” Isao caught his hand, touch so much softer than Florist’s. “You will hurt yourself.”

He tried to tear them out?

It was so dark, he could barely see anything. He did not feel well.

“Doll, look at me.”

He turned his head towards him. Isao seemed worried.

“Everything is okay. You’re just ill.” His fingers brushed his hair soothingly. “Go back to sleep.”

“Florist,” he rasped out. His throat was so dry. “He…”

“He’s not here. You’re safe. I promise to you.”

**

He opened his eyes.

This box again.

He could not move. The strings were everywhere. Around his wrists. Fingers. Hands. Legs.

Even his throat.

He tried to move but they were holding him attached to the ground. He gave up. He had no strength.

The red poppies were blood. He coughed.

“My son.”

Father?

He looked up. He wasn’t sure whether it was the fog or his dizziness making everything so blurry.

His father, also in white.

And Isao’s father right by him. Like always.

“Told you he was a disappointment,” The man whispered into his father’s ear, not taking his eyes off Takeshi.

But he heard everything.

“Aiming to be a puppet master, ended up as a puppet.” His father cocked his head. “How shameful.”

“Please stop.” Takeshi tried to cover his ears, but his hands were held tightly. “Please.” He closed his eyes.

**

“Takeshi!”

“No! No, no, no…” He threw himself on the side, curling up. His body was shaking.

“Come on, buddy, everything is okay, everything is okay…”

Isao put his arms around him, holding him down. Nobu caught his hands that in panic were trying to tear the little cables and IVs out.

His body shook for a while until he slowly fell asleep again. Breathing evened out and they let go.

“How long is this going to go for?”

“Hopefully today is the last day,” Isao whispered, stroking Takeshi’s hair.

His heart ached.

When they forced a miscarriage, Takeshi’s health improved quickly. They could take him off life support. But he remained unconscious, and now was suffering from nightmares.

The medicine began working, which meant his body started detoxing. The doctor told them that theoretically they should be happy he is still unconscious because that meant nightmares which he most likely won’t remember later, while if he were conscious he’d hallucinate.

Even more pain.

Takeshi was slipping from conscious to unconscious very quickly. Unconscious meant he was suffering from such awful visions, reducing him to tears, that they kicked everybody out of the room.

Only Nobu, Iwao, and he could stay. Kin and Akira were too weak to see Takeshi in such state.

Sousuke was forced out before he could realise what was happening.

Not a sight a son should see. Takeshi would kill them.

“He always mumbles about you, your father, his father, Florist… those fucking flowers and blood…” Nobu said quietly, taking a damp cloth and placing it on Takeshi’s hot forehead. His cheeks were red from fever. “Do you think he knows?”

“No, I think it is about what my father said, and red poppies can look like blood… I don’t know. His body knows.” He looked down.

Isao was tired, after days of not getting more than a few minutes of sleep once in awhile. He was worrying so much, it was like someone poured something toxic down his throat.

He did not know how to tell Takeshi. He did not know what to expect.

Takeshi was a rational man, Isao knew that if it were about someone else, he’d do the same. But our opinions change when we are the one subjected to something.

He worried because everything his father said obviously had a massive impact. Takeshi was struggling, it was hurting him. And now he was supposed to tell someone who was upset and fragile that he also lost a baby, because it was the only way they could save him?

How was he supposed to make it better? By telling him that he would most likely lose anyway because his chance to get pregnant was so small that so was the ability to keep one?

Such a tiny chance… Miraculously he became pregnant, and they killed that child.

He wanted to cry.

“Isao…”

Isao lifted his head.

“You know what my thoughts about abortions are,” Nobu stated. “And I still think you did the right thing. Even those against them recognise that sometimes there really is no choice. I believe this was the case.” He reached over Takeshi to grab Isao’s hand and squeezed it. “He’s a thirty seven year old man who loves life. Who has a son and a daughter. A son for whom he is beyond important, and who really needs him. He runs a lot of businesses and he’s a mafia boss. We love him, you love him. You could not prioritise an unformed life over him.” He took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. “I think abortions in later weeks are terrifying and inhuman. But he was in such early stages that they did not even recognise the pregnancy. There was no pain.”

“Nobu, I… I know I did the right thing.” Isao closed his eyes for a moment. “But at the end of the day I possibly ruined the only chance for us to have a child. I made Takeshi miscarry. I’ve caused him even more pain than he already suffered.”

“You saved his life,” his voice became stronger, hand squeezing tighter. “And there was not a chance for the baby to survive. You only…” he sighed. “You only quickened the process and saved his life in result. If you’d wait, you’d lose both of them.”

“Maybe if I would wait… we’d find a cure…”

“Isao, be realistic…” Nobu’s expression softened. “From a slightly too skinny, healthy guy, he became a shadow of himself within days. Those drugs were killing him awfully quickly. He’s going to find it difficult to stand he is so thin and weak. You think he would last months?”

Isao shook his head, eyes casted down. Nobu sighed and walked up to him, to sit by him and hug with one arm.

“I always believe that if two people really wish on something, then it will happen,” Nobu said quietly. “If you two will want a baby, then you will get one. Just wait for better times. They will come finally.”

**

He opened his eyes slowly, afraid what he will see.

“Takeshi?”

He tensed, closing his eyes quickly. Not this again…

“Doll.”

Isao?

“Everything is okay. It’s just me. Isao.” He stroked his cheek. “Look at me…?”

He did, unsurely, and breathed out in relief when it really was him.

Isao smiled.

“Welcome back.”

“It’s over…?” he whispered weakly.

“Yes.” Isao brushed his fingers through his hair. “Just rest now.”

“How long has it been?”

“Only a few days. Everything is okay, don’t worry.”

“Sousuke?”

“Kicked him out so he will prepare for his swimming competition and exams.”

Takeshi closed his eyes. “When…?”

“It’s Monday. You have four days to get healthy.”

“Will do.”

He sighed when Isao bent to place a kiss on his forehead. For the first time in days he slept with no dreams.

**

“You’ve got your first exam tomorrow, come on, you have to revise at least a little.”

Rin placed his hands on Sousuke’s shoulders. They were in their room at Samezuka. Since Sousuke got kicked out of the hospital, Rin made his job to ensure he will at least pass his exams. But it wasn’t easy.

“I can’t believe they did not let me stay,” Sousuke growled.

“I do.”

“Huh?”

“Sousuke, your dad started detoxing. It’s not a nice image to look at.”

“Like I care!”

“I think it’s more about him than you.” Rin massaged his tense shoulders.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s your dad. He wants to look powerful to you.” Rin shrugged. “He has all the help he needs, people who saw him in such state before. Don’t add more stress to the situation.”

Sousuke was grumpy, but Rin understood. Sousuke tried to pretend he was fine when he was barely standing on his legs, so he could imagine his father was the same. Most men were.

Takeshi was a mafia boss. The less people saw him in a fragile state then better. And his son was someone who looked up to him, who needed to see him as the strength itself.

Isao and Nobu were only helping. Besides, Sousuke had to get back to school to finish it.

“I can’t concentrate.” Sousuke closed the book quickly and stood up. He walked up to the window.

“What do you worry about? You know he is going to be fine.”

“I don’t. They found a cure, but what’s going to happen now? He was so ill.”

“He is going to quickly get better. It’s your dad!” Rin walked up to him and hugged from behind. “Stop worrying so much. I’m sure he was in worse states before and he always got out of them.”

Sousuke sighed.

“Can we go for a swim? I will revise later,” he said after a few moments of silence.

Rin chuckled. “Okay.”

**

There was something different about swimming with Sousuke.

No matter what was happening, the moment he was jumping in the swimming pool, everything was disappearing. Only swimming existed.

He was strong, swimming with no hesitation, and the best technique.

There was no one like him. And it was fascinating to have the chance to compete against him.

He made Rin focus and fight like no one else.

They swam a lot that day, coming back in the evening. Rin wasn’t sure why but maybe knowing that he was not going to the university, and Sousuke was going to be accepted no matter the grades, made him not stress about the finals.

Which wasn’t wise thinking, but that’s how life was. Some people finished schools and then went to universities, pursued careers, some were getting married and travelling, some were opening their own businesses, some were taking a break. Every single person did it their own way, and there was no wrong one.

With everything that was happening, it wasn’t his biggest worry.

Sousuke was working for Yakuza, he was supposed to create his own gang. He already had trouble keeping up with school work which made him wonder how he will deal with university work and constant practices.

And being a dad.

Sometimes it seemed to Rin that he already changed his mind, just did not want to talk about it yet.

**

“So he’s playing the game again.”

Takeshi lifted himself a little on the pillows. He felt a lot better but like after a long bad flu that completely took away his strength. He was faint and a little dizzy, but he could talk with people.

“We will get rid of him, don’t worry about it.”

All his boys were here, updating him on everything that happened in the past few days. Including his situation.

“Don’t do anything without me.” Takeshi shook his head. “It’s not that easy.”

“Takeshi…” Iwao started.

“No,” he interrupted him. “This is a fight between him and me. Besides, we need him.”

“We’re not dependant on him. Not so much that without him…”

“Florist is valuable whether you like it or not. And his obsession with me let us have things we’d pay for a lot more normally. Or we would not get them at all, especially considering the fights we have with him once in awhile.”

Takeshi knew why they were so afraid. It wasn’t about Florist, it was about Takeshi.

Florist was a player and so was he. When he played, Takeshi did too. They always fuelled each other.

They enjoyed it.

Even if it was toxic.

Takeshi knew what Florist wanted to do to him. What he sometimes was doing to him. But he could not help it and kept involved. In a way it was about challenge. No one ever made him work as hard as Florist. No one challenged him like Florist did. No one else played as well, kept him as interested as Florist did.

He loved his game.

Maybe it was fascination. Not that he would ever tell anyone, but he was as fascinated in Florist and his abilities, as much as Florist was in his.

He could not help it.

And this was what his friends feared. Especially what Isao feared.

Takeshi was anxious. He did worry that one day Florist will win and take over. He made him feel uncomfortable, getting inside his brain, taking control until he was losing it. So often weakening him to the maximum.

But at the same time it was the adrenaline Takeshi craved.

He tried to stop it. Countless times. It never succeeded. Which Florist was aware of.

Florist was a drug himself.

Florist knew he had him in his grasp for a while now. He stupidly wanted more though.

And that’s where Takeshi could attack back.

He doubted they would ever stop playing their game, though. They were both addicted to it.

Before they could continue their conversation, no one else but Sousuke walked in, big smile on his face.

“Hey, dad!”

“Hey there.” He breathed out in relief. Son to the rescue, who would have thought.

“Thank God, you look better.” He grabbed himself a chair and sat down quickly.

Takeshi chuckled. “How did the exam go?”

“Meh, I think enough to pass.” He shrugged, not much care in it.

“At least pass this year, okay?”

“Sure.” He smiled and then looked around. “Did I interrupt something?”

“No,” Takeshi answered, receiving a death stare from every single guy apart from Sousuke. “I am glad you’re here.”

Sousuke looked surprised but there was relief on his face. Seeing the dark circles under his eyes, Takeshi realised he did not sleep well since he got sick either.

Sousuke put his hands in his lap. His father and him never hugged. Last time, probably when he was dying of cancer. But now he had to really keep himself sitting in the chair instead of embracing his father.

It was good to have him back.

**

Takeshi sat up, slowly breathing in and out. He felt weak, but if anything could make him feel better now, it was a warm bath.

He used the moment when everybody went away. He even kicked Isao out, who seemed ready to fall asleep standing. He appreciated him like no one else… and maybe that was why he did not want to see him like this.

Their relationship was complicated. Everybody around them was treating them like a couple, only stopping themselves in front of people out of the group.

He guessed that theoretically they were. They were so close and knew each other so well that he did not blame others for thinking so.

Their sexual relationship began even before the official introduction to each other, and instead of keeping it such, it developed into deeper feelings. The problem was that he could never define it. They were in a way split apart by their parents, and by Takeshi himself. He fell in love with Umiko.

They always kept by each other though.

When Umiko died, he tried to keep Isao as far away as possible, not only because he was forced by the contract which in reality he did not really give a damn about, but because he reached a complete breakdown.

And he did not want to take Isao with him there.

Isao deserved better than him.

The ‘problem’ was that Isao never left. No matter how ugly he was to him in order to force him away.

Around a year after Umiko’s death Takeshi snapped and they slept with Isao together again. He asked why Isao never left, and he explained that because he knew there was still his Takeshi somewhere in him.

He stayed for the man Takeshi thought he was never going to be again.

And that’s how their relationship was. Mainly business, which was his life anyway. Always a little more. Sometimes sex. Mostly drunk and quick wherever, quickly forgotten, meant to be meaningless. Only a few weeks ago he reached for him sober and they stayed together for the night. Something started to become a little bit more normal in their relationship… but it still wasn’t it.

He already felt like running away.

Isao deserved better.

Isao was his bodyguard, theoretically kept by contract by him too, but since the beginning Takeshi wanted to ensure that he feels like his right hand, not just a bodyguard. Isao kept him safe, but when Takeshi was losing it, he had his own houses, businesses, child… life. If he ever lost it completely, Isao had something after him. Which he really wanted to make sure of. 

He never wanted to be a waste of time.

Isao was the only one who truly knew him. He was the only one who Takeshi let take off his mask. Since the beginning and all the years later. He was his peace. 

But he knew Isao would regret this relationship as soon as he would actually have it.

Takeshi was tiresome to him having what they have… and he wanted all of him?

God, no.

He’d lose Isao in seconds.

He did not want Isao to see him like this. Even if he never considered himself too thin, most of the time he knew what Isao did consider sick. And he was sick now.

His body scared him a little. But it was different making yourself lose weight and waking up to another body. That wasn’t him doing it.

So he noticed it.

He highly doubted Isao loved him for who he was. How could he? He did not understand it.

Maybe there was some fascination with his accomplishments, and he knew he had a thing for his talents. Looks. Sex.

If he did not want him to leave, he needed to at least look good.

**

He slowly moved his legs to the side, letting them hang outside the bed, holding the bed sheets tightly. He was heating up again, aware that probably he should not get out of the bed yet. But he felt disgusting and the bathroom really wasn’t far away.

He unsurely stood on his legs, slightly bent.

Taking deep breath in he straightened up. And that was when the pain hit him all at once.

A gasp escaped his mouth as he hit the floor. He curled up, one hand pressed to his stomach. It was like the pain was coming from his back.

“Takeshi!”

Oh fuck.

A few steps and strong arms quickly embraced him. “What’s wrong?” Isao asked quickly.

“I’m fine, could you just help me go to the bathroom? I want a bath.” Takeshi breathed out. The pain was already weakening.

“Why didn’t you wait for me?” Isao quickly put one hand on his back and another under his knees to lift him up, making him hide his face in his neck in embarrassment.

Takeshi did not answer, just waited for him to sit him on the chair in the large bathroom. He eyed the big white bath.

Private rooms had their perks.

“Well?”

Takeshi shrugged. “You can go now.”

Isao, who started pouring water inside the bath, turned to look at him surprised. “You think I am going to leave you alone in the bath full of water?”

“I am not going to kill myself.”

“That’s not what I had on my mind, but I do now, thanks.” Isao shook his head.

“Can’t I have ten minutes of privacy? Really?” Takeshi looked at him from under his fringe.

He could feel he really needed a haircut, and he did not even look in the mirror yet to see himself.

“Right. I forgot I never saw you naked before.” Isao slapped his forehead with despair. “Oh wait.”

Takeshi growled.

“What’s your problem?” Isao seemed confused.

He thought Takeshi was just acting annoyed with everything, as he always was when he was sick. But there obviously was something going on.

“It’s not about that. I want to be alone, that’s all!”

“You can be alone all you want once you get healthy and you’re not going to end up on your knees from trying to stand.”

Takeshi’s hands curled into fists, trying to calm himself down. He could feel tears coming. God, he hated being sick. Made him act like he was three.

“Takeshi.” Isao kneeled in front of him and placed his hands on his knees, voice soft as he waited for him to look at him. But Takeshi kept facing right, eyes closed. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want you to see me naked now. Satisfied?” he spit out finally.

Isao was confused for a second until the realisation showed up on his face. Right. Takeshi was embarrassed because he was so thin. He did not like anyone to look at him when he did not look perfect.

“Takeshi, I’ve seen it all and so did you. Why does it bother you?”

He did not answer again, his hand just tightened on his knees.

“Okay…” Isao sighed. “Let’s do it this way. I will add lots of bubbles, put you inside the bath, you will then take your hospital gown off, and I won’t see a thing, okay?”

Takeshi nodded.

**

Sousuke was sitting in the park eating waffles with cream and fruits. Using the second that Rin went away to get himself an ice cream too, he quickly took his phone out and called his friend.

“Hinata?” He asked.

“Hey, mate, what’s up?”

“Dude, would you do me a favour and get all the guys together at my place tomorrow? We really have to talk it through now, I finish Samezuka on Friday.”

“Ah, right! Sure! What time?”

“Around seven?”

“Alright, we will see you then.”

“Thanks a lot. Bye!”

“Bye!”

Sousuke quickly put the phone away, seeing Rin making his way back to him, two ice-creams in his hands.

He could not help but smile. With each passing day Rin was becoming more and more beautiful. He always thought that people saying pregnancy makes a person beautiful were just in love with the fact that they were going to be parents and so seeing everything in a better light. But it really changed Rin.

He was more relaxed, joking, calm. Happy, and that was most important to him, since he feared that Rin would hate the idea of being pregnant.

“Who was that?” Rin handed him one ice cream.

“Hinata. Nothing important.”

**

“Feeling better?” Isao asked quietly, after he put Takeshi back in the bed. All refreshed, wet hair brushed back.

“So much better.” Takeshi smiled. “I can’t wait to go out though.”

“Okay…” Isao scratched his neck. “I will go now then.”

Takeshi looked at him surprised.

“You wanted to be left alone, right? Just promise me you won’t go anywhere.” He squeezed his hand.

“Isao, I am sorry…”

“Don’t be, I understand.” He bent to kiss the top of his head. “I will be back later.”

Takeshi watched him leaving, feeling a little empty.

How was he doing it that the more he tried to keep him close, the more he pushed him away?


	36. Rumours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why do we care about the rumors, baby?
> 
> Yeah, why do we care about the rumors, baby?
> 
> Oh, cause I don't need to lie to you
> 
> You'll never break my heart
> 
> Yeah, you'll find the truth right here in my arms
> 
> So can you tell me why do we care about the rumors, baby?
> 
> \- 'Rumours' Adam Lambert

“You’re not talkative today.”

Isao and Takeshi were sitting in the car, on their way home. Today the doctor let Takeshi leave the hospital, only giving him a list of million things he was supposed to do to get healthy, making him roll his eyes and hide it deep down in his bag.

“I’m thinking.” Takeshi looked outside the window. He was so glad to finally be free.

The problem was that since he woke up three days ago he could not forget the nightmares. Everything but one thing did not make sense.

The blood.

“About?” asked Isao.

Takeshi did notice that he was stressed lately.

Isao’s problem was that he was an awful liar. Terrible. It took Takeshi no time to figure out he was plainly bullshitting him. And he also knew when there was something wrong.

Which was now.

“About that thing you’re not telling me.”

Stressed Isao plus blood that he could not figure out equalled a secret.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve been dreaming of blood.” Takeshi began, continuing looking the opposite way to him. “You’re hiding something. And the doctor told you something on the side that he clearly did not want me to know. At least not yet.”

Stressed Isao plus blood that he could not figure out, and the doctor having a secret with Isao, meant they did something to him. Something that they had to do in order to wake him up, and yet something bad enough to be scared of telling him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The doctor was warning Isao of something, hurrying him up, which meant Takeshi had to find out as quickly as possible for a medical reason.

“Whatever it is, I want to know.”

“Takeshi…”

He turned his head towards him. It really was something that deeply bothered Isao.

“Just say it.”

“It’s not that easy…”

“Say it.” He needed to know. Isao was only making him more anxious.

“Let’s wait until we get…”

“No! Tell me now!”

Isao pulled the car on the side, stopping it abruptly. He did not look at him, hands tightening on the wheel.

“You were pregnant.”

Takeshi opened his mouth only to feel his voice die in his throat.

“They did not even recognise the pregnancy, it were such early stages,” Isao continued. “But the hormones already started increasing which made the drugs Florist gave you work stronger. The only way to stop it, to save you, was to make you miscarry.”

They sat in silence.

Takeshi felt empty.

He did not know what to think.

Isao started the engine again and began driving.

**

No words were exchanged when they arrived.

Takeshi went straight to the kitchen, reached for the kettle and switched it on. He’d love to pour alcohol down his throat now, but since he was told it was going to kill him so early, he did not.

Wouldn’t be so nice to kill yourself right after someone saved your life, would it?

He heard Isao’s footsteps, him dropping his bag on the floor by the kitchen. The sound of a moved chair, he sat with a sigh, letting him absorb the information.

Not only he, a person who should never get pregnant, actually got pregnant, but of course at the moment when pregnancy could only kill him. So Isao was forced to get rid of it.

Takeshi never felt like a bigger waste of space.

When the water boiled he tried to lift it, hissing when his hand nearly dropped it. He did not even have strength to lift a fucking kettle full of water.

Fuck it, he thought, and reached with the other hand too, not giving a damn that he will burn it.

“Let me.” Isao caught his wrists, showing up behind so suddenly that he jumped startled. “Takeshi.”

His jaw was clenched, not letting himself say a thing. He knew that if he would open his mouth, he would choke up and start crying.

Waste. Of. Fucking. Space.

“Takeshi.”

Isao grasped his arms to turn him so he would face him. Takeshi closed his eyes.

“Don’t you dare to blame yourself for this, do you hear me?” His hands tightened in panic. He knew this was going to happen.

“I ruined my child’s childhood, made the other run away, and killed another before he even formed, what do you want me to do, ask for a father award?” Takeshi spit out, eyeing him with despair. “Why did you do it?”

“Did what?”

“You shouldn’t have saved me. You should have let the child live instead. I’ve let you make decisions because I thought you know what I would choose…!” He tried to calm down his breathing, but his voice was choked up. The tears ran down his cheeks even though he tried to stop them.

“I know you well enough to know that you’d never prioritise an unformed life over someone you loved.” Isao grabbed him harshly. “If I were to make decisions about your life thinking like you do about yourself, you could have as well signed a document letting them kill you at the first possible chance.” He seemed angry. “One of your children is a boy who needs you beyond anything, because he sees you as his God. He trusted you again, he forgave you for what you did to him, and you have no right to throw this gift away by throwing away your life. Your other child is a traitor who chose the other side even though her life was much better than Sousuke’s. She stayed on the other side even when we told her that Florist is a psychopath. Even when her brother was attacked and nearly killed by him, the brother who saved her ass over and over again. The third child we could have had if Florist hadn’t drugged you, but even then it was close to impossible. You had absolutely no control over your body. Blame Florist. Hell, blame even me. But don’t you dare to blame yourself.” His hands reached his wet cheeks, thumbs wiping tears away. “Sousuke needs you. His child will need a granddad. If everyone else isn’t enough, Akira’s, Nobu’s, Iwao’s, Kin’s love, if even mine means nothing to you, then stay for him. You have no idea how much Sousuke loves and needs you. And I love you too.”

Seeing Takeshi shaking he just brought him closer, embracing tightly the fragile body, kissing the side of his head. “I promised you and signed that I will do everything to protect your life till the end. And I will.” Isao whispered and breathed out in relief when finally Takeshi’s arms found its way around his middle, and he pressed his cheek to his shoulder as he started sobbing. “You’re so important to all of us, please stop hurting yourself.”

**

Takeshi brushed his hand through his hair, sighing seeing how much fell out once again. A normal person would probably freak out, but he was used to losing hair whenever he was losing weight.

With the drugs, coma, miscarriage…

He was a fucking mess.

There goes keeping attractive, he thought. He grabbed scissors from the cupboard and sat back on the edge of the bath.

“Takeshi, hurry up, we have to go soon!” He heard Isao’s shout.

He caught them in one ponytail and cut off, shaving the rest. Now he looked sick, he could give them that. He already couldn’t wait to grow them back.

After a shower he grabbed a few bobby pins and bit them with his teeth, freeing his hands to put the shawl around his head and secure it with them. He had to make it look like a fashion accessory or he was going to read tomorrow in press that he was suffering from cancer.

Not only Sousuke would be hurt, but also he had his face to keep up. The second a rumour that he was sick would slip then so would his money. 

Quickly he started to search for clothes from his skinnier days, finally grabbing right skinny jeans, shirt and a thin cotton blazer. Isao hated them, saying they make him look even smaller since they were slim fit instead of a usual male fit.

He could not explain it. Well maybe he could. He was supposed to hate looking like this but he did not. So it did make him happy to even underline the thinness, satisfied he could wear stuff he had straight from catwalk, stuff he was sent because he could show them off just like designers wanted their models to. He liked his flamboyant style, he enjoyed how he felt when he was thin. Damn, he’d probably had a career in his younger days if not his father and doctors shouting he’s going to kill himself.

Well he sort of did the first time he tried, so he had to give them that.

It did not matter that others did not like how he looked. He did not tell them how much to weight. But on the other hand, the constant questions…

“Takeshi, come on…” Isao stood abruptly in the doorway.

“My hair fell off.” He did not even turn his head away from the mirror. He did not want to see his pitying face or hear worried comments.

Takeshi was surprised when Isao walked up to him and straightened his collar, tips of his fingers softly touching his neck. “You look pretty.”

Before his jaw could drop to the floor, he added, “but hurry the fuck up, we’re late already.”

Takeshi started laughing.

**

“So, he’s one of your father’s friends?” Rin asked as they sat in the car, driving to the jail.

So, apparently today one of Yakuza was released from the prison and they were going to pick him up, since they were supposed to go somewhere after together anyway.

“Yeah. He sort of works for Yakuza, just not fully. I mean… he’s not even Japanese.” Sousuke scratched his head in confusion.

“You don’t know him?”

“I only heard rumours.”

“Oh.”

“Hey, it’s going to be fun. At least you will know where to pick me from in case they will lock me up.” Sousuke grinned.

Rin slowly turned his head towards him, face blank, making him roll his eyes.

**

Nobu and Iwao were sitting on one bonnet, Kin and Akira on another. Isao and Takeshi were still gone.

It was a nice day, which made Rin think that he would not mind sunbathing somewhere right now, instead of standing in front of a jail, but, well, he could not have everything.

At least he did not look as little excited as others, which made him wonder whether that guy was liked.

Why none of them mentioned him before?

“His name is James,” Sousuke started explaining, putting sunglasses on his nose. “He lived in Australia for awhile now, but the police found him and he was deported.”

They turned when two cars roared and parked by them.

“Why are you two in separate cars?” Akira asked once Isao and Takeshi came out, as he lay down on the bonnet. “I think I’m sizzling,” he whispered to himself.

“I’m not driving with that freak.” Isao cringed.

“Pussy.” Takeshi laughed at him, closing his door.

Rin eyed him with surprise. Takeshi looked surprisingly good. On the other hand, who would not look much better all prettied up in nice clothes instead of a hospital gown, attached to IVs and such? He was starting to be envious of the guy’s style, and he wondered if Kisumi tried to steal stuff from his closet already.

Damn, he wanted his shoes.

“Good to see you.” Nobu embraced Takeshi in a tight hug. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.” He smiled, shrugging his shoulders so they would not worry.

They all turned towards the gate that suddenly opened, before another word could have been exchanged.

Rin watched the guy who walked out. He seemed nice, brown curly hair, white smile, skinny. Well not as much as Takeshi.

“James!” Takeshi pretty much jumped in his arms, so the guy laughed and twirled them around.

“Hey, pretty little fairy.” James laughed again when Takeshi hissed at the nickname, letting him stand on the ground again. “How are you?” He patted the shawl placed around his head.

“Fine.” Takeshi slapped his hand away.

“Alright, alright,” he grinned. “I want food.”

“Actual, or…” Iwao snorted.

“Very funny, Iwao!”

“Let’s find a restaurant somewhere so we could talk too.” Takeshi grabbed his arm and pushed towards his car.

**

“You alright, love? You look absolutely beautiful as always, but…” James began when they sat together inside with Takeshi and he started the engine.

“Eh, yeah.” He reversed. “A few health problems, I’m okay now though.”

“That’s okay then. I’m not surprised to see Isao with you, why everybody else though? They detest me.”

“They’re just grossed out.” Takeshi snorted. “I wanted to see them all so I dragged them here and besides you will need their help so better be nice to them.”

“How come?”

“Dude, you don’t seriously think the police won’t want to lock you up soon again, huh?”

“I can’t go anywhere now anyway.”

“That’s why you need my boys so they will get you out of Japan as quickly as possible.”

“Getting rid of me so quickly, Takeshi?”

“I will visit you in London, don’t you worry about it.”

“London?!”

**

“Why London?”

They sat together around a table in a local small restaurant and started talking once they ordered their meals.

“You will like it.” Takeshi chewed on the straw in his cola.

“I am glad you care, but why London?” James sat more comfortably.

Rin eyed them curiously.

“Because I don’t have enough people in London.” Takeshi shrugged. “So I will get you there and at the same time keep you safe. You three will help with moving.” He looked at Iwao, Nobu, and Kin. “And I will make sure more money will end up on your accounts by the end of the month.”

“Fair play.” Kin shrugged, not bothered. Just another job.

James sighed. “I always wanted to see Big Ben. Oh my God.” Realisation showed on his face. “Takeshi, I’m going back home!” He put his hand on his heart.

Takeshi snorted, choking up on his drink. They both started laughing like idiots.

“All sorted then. You’re leaving today.”

“What?! What the fuck man?”

“I am not risking you staying any longer, Nanase is on our ass.”

The waitress came over and brought their food, making them go quiet. When she left, James looked at Takeshi again, sitting opposite to him.

“Nanase?”

“He’s back in the group that is taking care of our business. He’s under others but that does not stop him from being a major pain in the ass,” Takeshi explained, cutting up his food.

“Why is he still alive?” James mumbled, mouth full. “This is good, mmm.”

Takeshi shrugged. “I’ve got a plan how to get rid of him, but I will use him first.”

“How?” asked Kin.

“You will see in time.”

They all looked at Isao.

“What? I don’t know.”

“Can’t he leave tomorrow? My wife is going to murder me if I won’t show up at home tonight.” Kin looked a little desperate.

“Huh?”

“Marriage anniversary, dude.”

“I am fine with that.” James bent a little to get closer to Takeshi. “Do you know what today is?”

Takeshi eyed him confused.

“Racing.”

“You’re going to risk years in jail to race?” Isao deadpanned.

“When have you got so boring?” James snorted. “I haven’t sat behind a wheel for two years, let me live for one night.” A smile spread across his face. “Tonight you and me join the race and then I have a sweet night with the girl I will find myself... We can start planning my deportation tomorrow noon and everybody is happy.”

“Takeshi.” Nobu side-eyed him. “You should not…”

“Alright.” Takeshi grinned.

**

“This is so cool.” Rin clapped his hands together. “Amazing.”

“You don’t even like cars.” Sousuke noticed, driving right after his father.

First they had to go to Yamazaki’s mansion so James could borrow a car.

“But I like watching racing movies.” Rin patted his knees in excitement. “I always wanted to see it for real.”

Sousuke shook his head in fond.

It was a night when they arrived. James like a little child literally flew to the massive garage. They stayed by the car, and Rin curiously watched as Isao walked up to Takeshi, clearly concerned about something.

Takeshi did not seem to feel well, slowly sitting himself on the ground. Nobu quickly joined Isao who kneeled in front of Takeshi.

There was a roar and one of the cars drove out of the garage, parking right by them. Takeshi lifted himself quickly, only to bent in half as pain showed on his face. Isao and Nobu caught him quickly before he could fall, and he and Sousuke ran to them at the same time as James.

“I am fine!” Takeshi shouted when they started asking if he is, one after another.

“Takeshi…” Isao started but he interrupted.

“I am not going to race, okay?” Takeshi snapped. “But I am going.” Isao opened his mouth to try to change his mind. “LEAVE IT.”

Rin cringed and even Isao took a step back.

“Fine.” He went to his car without another word, others following him. Rin grabbed Sousuke to pull him away too.

Takeshi opened the door to his car and drove quickly first, with James following.

“What bit his ass?” Sousuke sighed, driving fast after the rest of the guys.

“If I were a mafia boss, I’d be pissed off too.” Rin admitted sincerely. He was really staring to see Takeshi’s point.

“Huh?”

“Oh, come on. You all jump around him like he is a two year old who can’t take care of himself. You question all his decisions. You want to stop him from everything…” He shook his head. Takeshi stood on his head to get where he was now and they were acting like his babysitters, slapping his hands whenever they did not like whatever he tried to do.

“He is ill!”

“And a mature man! It’s not as much as annoyance but you guys are upsetting him and making him feel like shit. YOU are going to push him away.”

Sousuke breathed out in frustration.

**

It was something else, watching the races. They stood on a balcony, alcohol in their hands, watching cars going around the buildings. It was so loud with music played from most of the cars. People were chatting with each other, and the sky was bright with the amount of stars shining tonight.

Rin could not help but watch Takeshi, too. He wasn’t talking to anyone, his previous good mood gone. Something was clearly bothering him, and maybe the happiness was a mask that he no longer had strength to keep on anymore.

James did not take a long time, and clearly concerned came back after just two races so they sat together, one group along many on the roof where the tables and chairs were placed. It was such a warm night.

Takeshi excused himself to make a call to someone, leaving them alone.

“What’s wrong with him?” James wasted no time and quickly asked.

“He was just let out of the hospital, he still doesn’t feel well,” murmured Isao, not looking into their eyes. He seemed tired, hand playing with the glass.

“I figured that much out. But what happened?”

“Florist drugged him, made him really sick.”

“Is that all?”

“… Yeah.”

“Why the fuck is that prick alive then?”

Isao looked frustrated. “Because Takeshi wants him to be alive!” He seemed pissed as he reached for his phone that started ringing. “Emi?”

“You’re still married?” James’s voice was full of disbelief.

“Fuck off.” Isao spat, making Rin nearly choke on his cola.

Sousuke looked beyond entertained, but Isao chose to walk away to talk with his wife.

“Sticking your nose into their business never worked well for you, why are you doing it again?” Nobu asked surprisingly calmly.

“I don’t know,” he gasped dramatically. “Might be something about wanting the only person I care about to be happy,” he finished sarcastically.

“Takeshi is happy.”

“Right, he seems fucking fantastic.” Now the sarcasm was clear.

Before Nobu could argue Isao came back and sat, throwing the phone on the table. His hand placed on the top was curled into a fist and he was clearly biting his teeth together.

“What’s wrong, buddy?” Iwao asked.

“We’re not going to get a divorce.”

“What?!” They all asked at once.

“My father witnessed that we’re a fantastic marriage, so the judge gave us half a year to fix our problems.”

“A little bit pathetic your father still controls you all those years later, if you ask me,” murmured James.

Rin never saw Isao this angry but he started fearing he was going to break his glass on James’ head.

They were quiet until Takeshi’s footsteps were heard and he looked concerned at their faces.

“What happened?”

“Well, Isao has to prove that he isn’t such a good husband if he wishes to divorce,” Akira joked, trying to lighten up the situation. He cringed when no one laughed.

Takeshi put his hand on Isao’s shoulder and shook him a little. “Isao?”

“My father said Emi and I make a fantastic marriage, so they gave us half a year to fix the problems we wrote as the reason for the divorce. So, yeah, I literally have to prove I am a jerk.”

“Or you could be fair and come out with the one you’ve been shagging for the past twenty something years,” James suggested ironically.

Isao stood up and reached for him before they even registered what James said.

“Wow, wowwowwow…” Nobu and Iwao threw themselves to grab Isao and Takeshi pushed James out of his reach, and grasped his arms when they were far away enough to not be heard by them.

“James!”

“What the fuck, Takeshi? Why are you letting yourself be treated like that?!” He pointed at Isao.

“Like what?! And shut your face!” Takeshi looked around. “We’re in public, you moron!”

“This was all fun when you were fifteen years old, but don’t you think you deserve a little bit more all those years later?”

“You know why things are this way!”

“Yeah and it pisses me off that you accept it!”

“What the fuck this stupid head of yours came up with in that fucking jail?” Takeshi hissed, voice low. “We’re both screwed up, and we both accepted it, and we’re cool as we are. Alright?”

James bit his tongue, not looking at him.

“Look.” Takeshi put his hands on his shoulders, whispering to him. “Isao is the best thing that could ever happen to me and if anyone then he deserves better here. Stop throwing shit at him, he is doing more than possible.”

“This is the problem.” James faced him. “You think you don’t deserve shit, so you accept the crap you get and blame yourself for everything. All I see is Isao neither keeping you safe, being first to play with you yet still fucking married and comfortable pretending to be a perfect heterosexual husband, not needing to face his father…”

“I was the first one to get married,” Takeshi interrupted.

“After he made it clear he won’t ever have the guts to come out with you!”

“I don’t want to be public either! We’re both comfortable without everybody sticking their noses into our business!”

“You always wanted to be public! Normal! Not to have your hands shaking whenever you two forgot yourselves publicly for five seconds and someone snapped a picture of it, so you had to stand on your head to make sure it won’t go to press!”

“The fifteen year old me saw the world through colourful glasses. Now I see it for what it is. Things have changed, James. And I’ve made peace with what I have with Isao. I am the one who was practically playing him and running away all those years, so blame me if you wish. We’re not even a proper couple. I don’t think we should be.”

“Yet you have found yourself no one and stuck by him after you lost Umiko all those years ago, while he continued to be married. I would not treat such person seriously either, so no surprise you two aren’t.”

“It’s not black and white, James.” Takeshi shook his head. “We’re both under contracts. We both have responsibilities and faces to keep. I am fucked up by everything that happened and I doubt I will ever be normal again. Isao has a father who is still controlled by mine even though he died years ago. It all began during times when it was a crime, not even mentioning our situation specifically. We both had to find ourselves wives and have heirs and live. I wish it were as simple as you see it, but it is not. We’re not meant to be together. We could not just get together and say fuck it all. We’re lucky to be by each other all the time, people mostly mind their own business, and we mostly can do whatever we want. It’s FINE.”

James sighed, watching him closely. “Why is Florist still alive?”

“Oh, God.” Takeshi rolled his eyes, hands dropping from his shoulders. “He’s a supplier. He creates what no one else is capable of. I need him.”

“Bullshit. He’s as obsessed with you as you are with him. This is sick, Takeshi.” He pressed his finger to his chest. “You’re going to get hurt playing this game.”

“You know me so well and yet you want me to disqualify myself from the most interesting game there is.” Takeshi smiled. “Come on, James.”

“I am just worried.” He crossed his arms on his chest. “You mean a lot to me, buddy.”

“I promise I will visit you in London.” Takeshi ruffled his hair.

“I will wait to see the Big Ben with you.”

Takeshi chuckled.

**

James left right after their conversation, leaving Takeshi alone to come back to the table where his friends and son sat. He put his hands in his pockets and lightly kicked Isao’s chair, seeing Isao’s grumpy face.

“Cheer up. We will figure something out, grumpy.”

“We can all witness you’re an absolutely awful, disgusting husband,” Akira offered.

“And photoshop a few pictures of your revolting behaviour.” Iwao added.

Isao finally smiled.

“Go to her now, you have to talk this through as quickly as possible.”

Isao looked up at him. “Getting rid of me, you got yourself a date with your buddy?”

Takeshi laughed. “He went away to find himself someone who at least has boobs. Get up, we have to go.”

They all did, Isao shaking his head, reaching for the phone that he threw away.

They were quiet on their way downstairs, Isao eyeing Takeshi unsurely. When they finally reached their cars and others started leaving after saying their goodbyes, Isao approached Takeshi.

“Are you going to be okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine, Isao.” Takeshi said tiredly, turning to lean on the car to face him. “You have to talk with her.”

“What James said…”

“James…” Takeshi sighed. “James knows what he sees.”

“So this is what everybody see?” Isao asked quietly. “That I am just using you? Living comfortably pretending to be hetero and happily screwing you behind closed doors?”

“You look like the bad one because you’re married and I am not.” Takeshi shrugged. “He thought I am waiting and you’re just using me.” A quiet laugh escaped his throat. “Don’t worry about it, I told him the truth. He’s not going to attack you again.” He hugged himself, feeling the night becoming colder.

One minus of being thin was than you were first to feel the cold.

“If I could I’d show you off like the prettiest, most expensive doll there is,” whispered Isao. “But…”

Takeshi sighed, looking down. “I am happy with what we have.”

“Are you, really?”

“Yes.”

Isao deserved better, not he. If they would get properly together, no one would come to Isao after he was going to divorce. This way maybe Isao will fall in love with someone normal and finally forget.

He heard a disappointed sigh. “I will get going then.”

“Yeah…”

Isao’s hand touched his for a fraction of second and he left, the car roaring as he drove past.

Takeshi took a deep breath in and looked up, blinking back tears. He needed to gather himself together.

Fucking hormones.

He sat inside his car and made his way towards the nearest park. There was someone he still had to meet today and he was glad Emi called so he did not have to think long how to make Isao leave him alone.

Once he was on his feet, walking towards the fountain in the middle of the park, he blew warm air in his hands. It was getting chillier with every passing minute. Or maybe he was just tired.

He sat on the bench, arms around himself.

“Bastard is late,” he murmured to the empty park, splashing water in the fountain the only sound. It was relaxing.

“Or maybe just watching.”

Takeshi jumped in his sit. He turned around, face unimpressed.

“Good evening, Takeshi.” Florist smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Thank you for all the comments and kudos <3333
> 
> As you know my main blog is nightcloak.tumblr.com but if you are interested in only Invincible info, the fanarts, casting, etc, then you can follow nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com instead as it consists only of things to do with my fanfiction.  
> Lately I started adding Fun Facts about the characters and teasers for upcoming chapters.


	37. Too weird to live, too rare to die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm the rush of a bleeding heart  
> I'm the bruise of a rough start  
> I'm the dust that ignites the spark  
> Oh, man, I was dark  
> They say that I'm blue like the night sky  
> That I'm too weird to live, too rare to die

“You can stay here tonight, if you wish,” Emi said.

She was sat with Isao in the large living room, massive fireplace warming up the chilly night. Comfortable white cotton sofas with many pillows were placed around a glass coffee table.

Isao sunk in, glass of wine in his hand. “I am fine. I will drive to a hotel.”

“You’re drunk. I am not going to let you leave.”

“Not so much of an offer then, huh?” He smiled sadly.

“Did you have a fight with Takeshi?”

Isao winced. “No.”

“Isao.”

“We really did not, though.”

“Then what’s wrong? You seem upset.”

He really was a lucky man. During his days everybody was marrying the opposite gender whether they were straight or not. Not many were lucky enough to marry someone who wanted to work with them to make the eighteen years as positive as possible. Emi was an angel and they made it work for both of them since the beginning. And they learned to truly care for each other.

“When I’ve met Takeshi I truly dreamed of being with him. It wasn’t possible, and we both knew it… I mean, Takeshi was always a romantic dreamer, wanting to fight the system. I told him it’s impossible.” He looked at the fireplace. “Soon after he found Umiko. I knew it was over, but I am not going to lie, after Umiko died I thought… maybe one day.” He shrugged. “You know how Takeshi changed, our relationship became screwed up too. A few weeks ago it started changing for the better, or so I thought…”

“You want to be out and proud and now he is chickening out.” She smiled.

“We can’t be together publicly, Emi.” He shook his head. “But I hoped for something normal behind closed doors.”

“Maybe that’s not enough for him?”

“I don’t know what Takeshi wants. He pulls and then quickly pushes me away…”

“Then give him time.” She put her glass on the coffee table and waited until he looked into her eyes. “Takeshi is a very sensitive person deep inside. And he is very hurt. With everything that happened recently…” God, Umiko being alive hit them all, especially that her come back made basically no difference since she remembered absolutely nothing. Then the poisoning, coma… “Let him digest it. It’s too much. This is why he probably pushed you away once again.”

“He was pregnant,” Isao whispered.

“What?!”

“Takeshi was pregnant. I had to force a miscarriage to save his life.”

Emi closed her eyes. It became silent for awhile. “Okay… scratch what I said. You have to be by him.”

“He likes his space.”

“Isao, he just lost a child! I mean.” She lifted her hands. “You both did. I am really so sorry. But he… he shouldn’t be left alone now. Fine, give him this one night but tomorrow you two have to talk. You need to learn how to give him space while taking care of him, love.”

He nodded and she stood up to walk up to him and ruffle his hair. “It’s going to be okay. You two are made for each other. I will bring you blankets.” And she left.

Isao blinked. “This is why we would never work out. You’re just too damn fast with everything.”

“Also I don’t have a dick.”

“Emi!”

**

“I am very grateful you decided to come.” Florist sat by Takeshi, keeping his eyes on him.

Takeshi did not. His eyes were on the fountain. “Well, I won’t say that without a reason.”

“Of course you did not.” He smirked, bright eyes shining in the dark. His face became serious. “I am very sorry for your loss.”

Takeshi tensed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oh, but you do. You have to in order to ask me for help.”

“I am in pain,” he murmured, closing his eyes, “and I am exhausted. I need you to give me something that will put me back on my legs.”

“Haven’t you received anything from the doctors?”

“Some light drugs that do not help. They can’t give me too many drugs right after detox.” He reached for two small glass bottles he hid inside his jacket and handed them to Florist, ignoring the lingering touch.

“Ah. So your friend won’t give you drugs either, therefore you came to me.”

“I don’t want to kill myself,” he snapped. “You owe me for murdering my child. Use your goddamn flowers and create something that will truly help without being toxic.”

Florist smiled, body turned his way. “Why should I make you stronger?”

Takeshi faced him. “You did not want me this weak, the hormones increased the strength of your drugs.”

“Maybe I don’t mind? Besides, you’re getting better.”

He was teasing him, Takeshi knew. But he wasn’t in the mood. At all.

Takeshi looked at him without a smile on his face. “I am awfully underweight, and still losing because just thinking about food makes me feel sick. Even I know this is not good and soon it will kill me. The pain kicks me off my feet. With how quickly the things are going, soon they will lock me up in a psychiatrist hospital and force feed. How are you going to play with me then?”

Florist watched him closely, one leg over another, elbow resting on the back of the bench. “It’s not often I see you this desperate.”

Takeshi hissed, pissed off. Done with everything, he stood up suddenly to leave, but the pain shot through his spine making him nearly scream from pain. He’d hit the ground if not Florist who caught him quickly and sat back on the bench, hands holding his arms tightly.

“Oh my, there really is more damage than we primarily thought.” He sounded interested.

Takeshi bit his teeth together, pain blinding him so he closed his eyes, bent in half.

“Okay. My driver will drive your car over to my place, and you can come with me.” He grabbed his arm and helped him stand.

**

Takeshi curiously looked around Florist’s home. The house was so… Florist.

A magnificent small castle, not a mansion. Floors from the most expensive stones. Beautiful wooden stairs. Painted ceilings. It was like gardens were above them.

He stood in the middle of the round corridor with stairs on the side meant to take you upstairs to the many rooms, but above was another one, only one, massive doors not letting you see what’s inside.

Florist’s place.

“You have strength to walk upstairs?” Florist showed up behind him after closing the doors.

It became quiet.

“Why, would you like to carry me?”

“I have a lift.”

“Oh.” Takeshi rolled his eyes and started walking, eyeing all the canvases on the walls. All the generations, one after another, men properly standing, ladies sitting on the chairs. His father loved this idea and Takeshi could remember standing like a moron for hours until the painter painted them.

He swore he wouldn’t make his children go through the same crap. And he did not.

Well… his daughter has made her own choice.

Florist did not hurry him up, watching closely. Watching. Always fucking watching.

Takeshi was more focused on keeping his breathing even, feeling dizzy. He did not know what Florist gave him and how long he was giving it to him but he obviously knew what he was doing giving him small portions of the drug. Once the hormones strengthened the drug he felt like breathing was too much work.

Florist opened the door and they walked in.

Ah, the whole attic for Florist. Massive bed on the left, separated from the room by moving doors. Thick carpet on a wooden floor. Bookcase and desk filled with more books on the right. Doors on the side. In the middle a fireplace with a leather sofa facing it.

“Shouldn’t you be like… in dungeons?” Takeshi furrowed his eyebrows.

“Dungeons?” Florist stopped.

“Yeah, like…” He shrugged. “Never mind.” He hoped Florist would knock him out soon because he was starting to be ill enough to talk stupid shit.

He looked at him weirdly but waved to come over, to the other room.

Which looked a lot like a doctor’s room. Bright and clean with a medical table in the middle plus some machines.

“I create certain potions in the… ‘dungeons’,” he explained seeing his curiosity. “And some here.”

“Those you test on human beings you mean.”

“No, this is an actual medical room. If I test poisons on people I don’t dirty this place.”

“Impressive.” Takeshi pursed his lips.

“Hop on the table then.”

Takeshi looked at him. “Huh?”

“I need to examine you.”

“You know what’s wrong with me.”

“If you want me to create an accurate drug and that one that one based on herbs, then I need to see what’s exactly the problem. Where the pain comes from, what’s in your blood, and such.”

Takeshi bit his teeth together and lay down on the table. His comfort levels were starting to drop low.

“Okay, first you will have to tell me where it hurts.” Florist rolled Takeshi’s shirt up without wasting time and began to press his fingers all around his stomach, looking for the cause of pain.

“Maybe the pain is already… OW!” Just when Takeshi thought it was gone he pressed lower and he nearly bent in half from pain.

“I will run an USG too, but this is probably kidneys and pain from the miscarriage. Which is normal, you simply wouldn’t feel as much discomfort if you had stronger painkillers.”

“Mhm.” He closed his eyes. Even the bright light was agonising at this point.

He heard the sound of a machine starting, felt cold liquid on his stomach and stick pressing on it.

“Have you lost your hair?” He heard a quiet question.

“Yes.”

“Do you know how much you weight?”

“No.”

“They did not weight you?” Florist sounded surprised.

“They did, but with me standing backwards.”

“Ah…” There was a realisation in his voice. “I need to weight you and take a blood sample.”

“Sure,” he sighed. He wanted to get the meds and be gone already.

He helped him stand, seeing Takeshi running on last sources of strength. Takeshi did not bother to look at the numbers on the weight scale, standing backwards. He never cared for them.

But it was interesting that Florist was so quiet. He wondered whether he was being professional and focused or fearing what he had created.

Funny.

He took the blood and let him sit outside the bright room and wait. Takeshi curled up on the sofa, feeling even worse after losing blood. Which wasn’t technically surprising but he had a problem. In order to stay awake he had to walk. But he was so weak that he was incapable at this point.

How stupid would it be to fall asleep in the enemy’s house?

Considering no one knew he was here in the first place, but acknowledging he just let Florist examine him?

He fell asleep before he could laugh.

**

Florist cocked an eyebrow seeing Takeshi sleeping quietly, curled up on his sofa. Who would have thought that the one he wanted would come himself. That was exactly what he wished for, but he imagined it quite differently.

This wasn’t willingness. This was desperation.

He actually wondered how could they let Takeshi out of a hospital in his state. He had to fool them, or as usual promised to take it easy and did not. While he understood why they did not bother sometimes with the guy, there were some standards and it was pretty disappointing they have not kept them.

Speaking as a professional. Personally, they did him a favour.

“Takeshi?” He sat by him and shook a little.

He really looked sick, barely contacting at this point. After he weighted him and checked his blood, he could not understand why the hell he still wasn’t diagnosed with anorexia. And how they could only give him some weak painkillers.

Florist made him sit up, holding him up by his arms. “Come on, you have to focus for a second.”

“Yeah,” a murmur and he finally opened his eyes.

“I know how to help you but I will have to inject in your spine,” he explained. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“You know that done wrongly it can paralyse you?” He wasn’t sure if Takeshi was awake or only pretending.

“Man, what a dream come true for you.” He grinned.

Florist rolled his eyes and deciding Takeshi doesn’t know what he is doing, he grabbed him, threw over his shoulder, and took back to the medical room. He placed him on top of the table and turned on his side.

“Will it hurt?” a mumble as he lifted his shirt.

“A little. Don’t move.”

“Sousuke has a competition and graduation tomorrow…”

“I know.”

**

Takeshi opened his eyes slowly. He was lying on a large comfortable bed, deep in the pillows, duvets pulled right under his nose. It was so warm, the sun shining through the slightly opened blinds.

Wait a second.

Before he jumped in panic someone pressed a hand to his shoulder to keep him on the bed.

“Careful there.”

Takeshi looked quickly at Florist. What the fuck…

“I didn’t do anything to you, you just fell asleep and trust me there was not a chance to wake you up.” He was calm and collected.

Takeshi swallowed hard.

“How are you feeling?”

He blinked. In all fairness he did not want to move. He could not remember the last time he was so comfortable and warm. And he did not feel pain. There was some aching in his spine but it was nothing in comparison to what he felt in the past few days. He stretched, pretty much purring.

“I don’t know what you did, but I owe you,” Takeshi yawned. “No, wait. You owed me. We’re even.”

Florist did not say anything, surprising him when he walked away only to come back with a tray that he placed over his stomach once Takeshi lifted himself on the pillows.

A glass of orange juice and pancakes with jam. His favourite sweet things.

“You have two hours before your son’s graduation and race, so you don’t have to hurry.” Florist stood up. “Your clothes and stuff are there, the bathroom is one your left.”

“Thank you,” he said a little unsure.

Wait. He quickly looked at himself. He was wearing some big shirt.

Florist raised his eyebrow, but Takeshi did not say anything.

“You’re welcome. You should be feeling better now and hopefully a little hungry. But take it easy.”

Takeshi nodded.

“I have to go, will be back in an hour. Don’t leave this room, please.”

A nod again.

When he left, Takeshi looked at the breakfast. It was like Florist reset his body. He felt hungry. He was rested. There was no pain. Like he went for a long holiday.

He chewed slowly, not wanting to upset his stomach. He probably, most likely, should be freaking out right now. Or be happy that he was alive. Or not tied up somewhere.

Takeshi wasn’t sure what he was supposed to feel. He did expect Florist to heal him, but to basically pet his hair…

Wait.

He touched his shaved head, cringing. Looking around he quickly spotted his shawl on top of his clothes, with his gun and keys to the car. He snorted. Fucking full service.

He ate and drank, licked his lips and finally went to the bathroom. He had to get himself sorted out, and get back home to change. If he’d show up in the same stuff as yesterday they’d know he did not end up home.

Nothing was more frustrating than the constant questions and worrying, treating him like he was a stupid child. He had his issues. But he was also a fucking mafia boss. At this point his own familia was making him insecure and sick instead of making him stronger.

**

Refreshed he made his way to the bookcase, curiosity winning. Fingertips touched the leather covers, and he took one that seemed to be opened more times than others.

It was a heavy one so he placed it on the desk and sat in front of it.

It consisted of all the flowers, names, their uses. He could barely see because the book was filled with Florist’s notes. He did not even notice how invested he became when suddenly a hand tightened on his shoulder, making him jerk in surprise.

“Flowers?”

“Just curious.” Takeshi closed it quickly. He did not get much from it. If he could show it to Isao, now that nerd would have a party with it.

“Ready to go?” Florist took it out of his hands and placed back in its place.

“Yes.” Takeshi stood up.

“Let’s go then.”

**

When they walked inside the garage, Takeshi sighed. “Just one car. How do you even deal with that?”

Florist ignored him, reaching for something inside his pocket. Takeshi looked up stunned when he handed him two small bottles, closing his hands around them. “One is basically vitamins but they’re made by me…”

“So they’re of course better,” Takeshi interrupted cheekily.

“The other will make your hair grow faster. Consider it a gift.”

Takeshi was speechless.

“Have a safe ride,” he said quietly, hands slowly leaving his.

Takeshi felt the lingering touch.

**

“I hope mom will make it.” Rin sat by Sousuke, right by other students. They were sitting outside in the sun, graduations cloaks and hats on. Parents and other family members were slowly gathering.

“Well, I do see Gou at least.” Sousuke smiled and pointed to Rin’s right.

Gou waved to them happily and showed two thumbs up. Rin laughed. “Where is mom?” He said a little louder since she sat a few sits away.

“Late shift! She’s gonna be here soon!”

“Did you tell your dad when the graduation is?” asked Rin, turning back to Sousuke.

“Nah. He wouldn’t come anyway.” Sousuke shrugged.

“No trust in us whatsoever!” They jumped in their sits when no one else but Kisumi showed up, big grin on his face. They turned surprised to see Takeshi, Isao, and Emi, taking sits right after him, behind them.

Rin chuckled and closed Sousuke’s mouth.

“Your headmaster.” Takeshi pointed to the stage, when Sousuke continued looking at him like he could not believe he really was sitting there.

“I’m here, I’m here!” Rin’s mom suddenly showed up in front of them and kissed Rin’s cheeks to quickly sit by Takeshi. “Hello.”

“Morning.”

Rin and Sousuke looked at each other.

**

After the announcements they quickly walked up to them, diplomas in their hands, aware they only have a few minutes before their swimming competitions.

“Congratulations.” Takeshi smiled, lifting his hand to fistbumb with Sousuke.

“Thanks, dad!” Sousuke grinned. Well, this day was turning into something beautiful.

“When do you swim?” Rin’s mom asked.

“To be fair, we have to go… now.”

“I will see you there then.” She brushed her hand through Rin’s hair. “I’m so proud of you, my sweet baby.”

“Mom!”

Takeshi smirked.

“Don’t you get ideas.” Sousuke lifted his hand in defence and took a step back.

“Off I go then,” Takeshi sighed theatrically and turned away, making his way back to the car.

His and Isao’s cars made quite an image and in result collected a pretty big audience. “Really?” Takeshi growled seeing people looking inside his car. At least he did not leave his guns visible.

“Hey, dad!” Sousuke shouted so he turned back. Sousuke walked up to him quickly. “I can get tickets to the swimming event if you… want…?”

“Don’t worry about it, we already have tickets.” Takeshi crossed his arms on his chest.

“Oh…” He seemed embarrassed. “Um, dad, I just thought… I mean… I am sorry…”

Takeshi shook his head. “I never offered my father to come and see me on my graduation day, because he made it clear he did not care.” He took a step forward and placed his hand on his cheek. “I made it very clear to you too over the years. I understand.”

“You’re not like them,” Sousuke whispered. “Not like him. Not like Isao’s father. Both of you are better people.”

Takeshi smiled. “I am trying.”

“I am glad you’re here.” Sousuke’s eyes were bright like his could not. “Thanks, dad.” He grinned and went back to Rin who shouted for him to hurry up. They were already late.

Takeshi turned back to his car when he saw Isao’s all known grin. “Alright, alright, enough with the show.” He started the engine with his car key, making everybody jump away.

**

Isao made sure to sit by him in the audience. They did not have time to talk before the graduation, and they had to talk as quickly as possible.

“We decided to just publish photoshopped pictures with Emi,” he said quietly to Takeshi.

“It’s not going to be enough, you know that.” Takeshi looked around the place with interest. “But don’t worry about it, I have a plan.” He winked to Emi who grinned.

Isao looked from one to another. “What am I missing?”

“You will see later tonight.” Emi said, purposefully not looking at him.

“Such a lost case, we decided to take it in our hands,” Takeshi whispered in his ear. Isao turned his head, nearly making their noses touch.

He knew that devilish look.

“And here they are!”

They both faced the swimming pool.

**

Takeshi could feel his heart swelling with pride, watching his son taking the stage, no stress on his face. He was professional and standing straight. And when he dived in, Takeshi could not help but stand to cheer with others, watching him being faster than everybody else.

When Sousuke won and his team exploded with happiness, Takeshi clapped as loudly as possible, chanting his name with others.

God, he missed so many years of such moments…

Sousuke waved to them, happiness showing up on his face. He looked his innocent seventeen years finally, hair messy wet on his head, bright eyes and smile, which only widened when Rin placed a big kiss on his cheek.

The group races were next, and Takeshi smiled happily seeing Iwatobi wasn’t there at all, exchanging a look with a very satisfied Sousuke.

“You two are worth each other.” Isao shook his head, making him bump his arm in his.

“Shush, I’m watching my son winning another medal.”

He grinned back seeing Isao’s expression, even though the whole situation was a little sad. There shouldn’t be a moment where Isao celebrates him… being a dad. What he was doing right now was natural, and yet felt special.

God, he sucked as a father.

**

“Alright, this is our last race, guys.” Rin turned to face his group after having a look at the massive audience. “Momo, Ai, don’t cry, please. We promised that we’re going to keep on visiting you, right?”

They nodded, sniffing a little.

“You should be happy, Rin made you a captain.” Sousuke cocked his head, talking to Ai.

“But it’s not going to be as much fun anymore.”

“It will.” Rin ruffled his hair. “Come on guys. Let’s rock this!”

**

“Mom!” Rin nearly jumped in his mother’s arms. “We won! We won!”

She laughed and hugged him tightly. “I’m so proud of you.”

Takeshi watched as Sousuke walked out of the hall with the rest of the group, holding a trophy in his hands, sun reflecting in the polished surface. Happiness was beaming from him, the medals jumping on his neck.

“Tadaa!” He lifted the trophy over his head, grinning at them.

“That was impressive.” Takeshi admitted, trying to keep serious. But it was not working well.

“And no disgusting sweat.” Kisumi shook his head. “I should have done swimming.”

“That’s why you never went to your trainings?” Isao side-eyed him.

“How do you…” Kisumi stuttered.

“Do you really think I would not find out you stopped practicing a year ago?”

Kisumi looked down on the ground. Takeshi coughed. “Congratulations, it was really amazing to watch.”

Sousuke quickly picked up the conversation. “I’ve got to say since it was your first race it was pretty motivating to win.”

Takeshi laughed. “Good job, son.”

“Hey, bosses, we gotta go!” Someone from the team shouted at them to come over.

“Right, we have to bring the trophy back to the school and say goodbyes.” Rin explained to his mom.

“Okay. What do you want to do later?”

Rin looked at Sousuke.

“Well we thought it’s time to tell about the baby,” said Sousuke.

“Who doesn’t know yet?” Kisumi stood on his side, away from his father.

“Rin’s sister, our guys, and your guys.” He looked at his dad.

“They’re going to be here in the late evening, so you might tell them then.”

“About what?” Gou showed up, slightly out of breath.

“Where were you?” asked Rin.

“Oh, em, ‘been talking with someone.” She shrugged.

“Who?”

“Rin.” Sousuke slapped his arm.

Takeshi smiled. “Take Rin and his family for lunch, and we will see each other in the evening, everybody will be there then.”

“Is that alright with you?” Sousuke seemed unsure.

“You’re welcome to come with us.” Rin’s mom quickly interrupted.

“Thank you, but I still have a few things to do before the night.”

“Alright.” Sousuke nodded. “I will see you in the evening then.” It was obvious he was thinking about something, and then quickly made the decision and with a chuckle got closer to Takeshi and wrapped him into a one-arm hug, other hand holding the trophy. “Thanks for coming, dad.”

Before Takeshi could snap out of shock he let go, and grabbed Rin’s hand. “At the club in an hour?”

“Sure.” Rin’s mom put her arm around Gou who already had questions at the end of her tongue.

**

“This is so weird,” Rin whispered, looking at the empty room at Samezuka. They just finished gathering the last boxes and throwing them in their cars.

“Yeah. I remember how at the beginning I hoped that we would at least become friends at the end.” Sousuke stood by him, hands in his pockets.

“Well you did a good job there.” Rin started laughing, placing his hand on his tummy.

“Very funny.” Sousuke poked his arm with his finger. “Come on. Keep on moving, keep on moving, there’s no standing in one place for us.”

Rin shook his head with fond and put his arms around him. “I am so glad you decided to move to Samezuka all those months ago. I love you.”

“I love you too.” He kissed his lips. “Ready to tell your sister?”

“Yes!”

**

“WHY HAVEN’T YOU TOLD ME EARLIER?! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!”

“Chill, sister!” Rin cringed and caught her hand to bring her down to sit after she stood up to shout at them. Sousuke looked slightly terrified, trying to disappear in his sofa. Rin tried not to sneer at him. He could break people’s necks but was scared of his sister? Really?!

“Gou, they only told their parents.” Their mom tried to relax the situation.

She also curiously looked around the club. Now the music was playing quietly and barely anyone was inside apart from them and the bar tender as well as one security guy.

“And Kisumi!”

“Kisumi figured it out himself,” Rin explained.

She growled, so Rin kicked her in the foot. “Outch! What’s that for?!”

“You were supposed to be happy and not shut up about buying baby clothes and stuff! Not be angry!”

She eyed them for a few seconds but finally sighed. “Okay, okay, I forgive you.”

Sousuke breathed out in relief. “Alright let’s order some food then.”

Rin looked at him.

“So it’s a girl or a boy?” Gou grinned.

**

“I cannot believe I am doing this.” Takeshi snorted, grabbing a bottle with alcohol and gulping it down.

Emi laughed, stealing the bottle from his hands. “Change! I don’t have a whole night!”

“Oh, sorry, I forgot you are so eager to go back to your boyfriend.” He started pulling down his jeans, laughing with her a little tipsy.

“Yeah, you better don’t dirty up my dress!”

So. They were standing outside the club, behind it. The plan was to ensure that Emi and Isao would be set free and Isao’s father would not be able to do a thing about it.

Photoshopping pictures and witnessing meant nothing. They had to go with a bang.

Isao had to cheat. But Isao was not a cheater. Especially with women. 

Takeshi could kiss him but with a divorce they would not get peace but hell.

So the idea was simple. He had to pretend to be a girl. And kiss him.

He invited his friend paparazzi.

And Emi decided to help with quick transformation.

He took the jeans off and threw them at her so she could put them on before taking off her dress, hiding herself behind his jacket. He pulled the tight as hell black mini dress on and her heels. Next was make up she could do in the low light in seconds, which he was damn grateful for. And finally a wig. Long black hair were supposed to cover his lack of boobs and face as much as possible. The shot was supposed to be from the side.

“You need this jacket, too.” She gave him hers.

“Nah.”

“They will see your tattoos, moron!”

“You have a point.” He quickly put it on, looking at himself in the car’s mirror. “Do I look convincing?”

“Smoking.” She winked. “Remember to not ruin my dress.”

“I will just kiss him and leave!”

“Sure. I know you men. He will try to tear this dress off you before you will finish. Or, worse, he won’t even take it off.”

“He doesn’t have a kink for me in dress.”

“He told me he does when he was drunk.”

Takeshi side-eyed her.

“Can’t blame him,” she shrugged. “At least we’re both going to get laid tonight.”

He tried not to laugh. “Thanks.” He placed a kiss on her cheek. “I will be back soon.”

“Have fuuun!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos and messages!!! <333333


	38. Welcome to the family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family.”  
> ― Jonathan Safran Foer

The music was loud tonight in the club. There was a well-known band invited and so there were fans and paparazzi filling the place. Isao was meant to join them soon once Takeshi would come, so right now was standing by the bar and watching the dance floor.

“So what’s the deal tonight?” Kin sat quickly right by Iwao.

“No idea,” he shrugged.

Rin and Sousuke grinned. They were waiting for Takeshi to arrive first, and Sousuke’s gang had to come as well. The time was slowly moving while they waited and finally everybody came but Takeshi and Isao who was still watching the stage they put up for the band.

“Who’s that?” Kin cocked his head, pointing in the direction of Isao.

They all looked towards the bar where he stood. But now he was facing a girl. He looked in awe, seemingly recognising her, as his hand tightened on the railing.

“Wrong address, chick.” Akira snorted, already slightly drunk.

She was clearly flirting, moving closer until their noses were nearly touching, her hands grasping the front of Isao’s jacket. Long hair thrown over her left shoulder covered most of her face. She was tiny, wearing a small black dress with a slim blazer over it, long legs on display.

Rin wasn’t sure whose face was more hilarious, but they all simultaneously opened their mouths in shock when Isao lifted his hand to touch her cheek and brought her in closer to kiss. She submitted easily, swiftly lifting her hands to embrace him as his other hand moved to her back to pull her in closer.

“Isao, you whore.” Akira deadpanned.

“Hey!” Kisumi slapped him hard.

“What are you slapping me for! He’s cheating on… your mother!” He choked.

Rin tried not to laugh seeing them fighting and the rest ignoring them for the sake of starring dumbfounded as Isao kissed the girl in front of everybody. She laughed happily when they finished and tugged Isao to the back, right where the toilets and offices were. And he went, without a question, big grin on his face.

Rin looked at Sousuke who was sitting by him, all happiness gone from his face. If eyes could kill, Isao would be sizzling on the dance floor right now.

“What are you angry about?” Rin asked. “They talked about needing to do something to let them break.” He wasn’t sure how much Kisumi knew so he kept his voice as low as possible.

“They were meant to photoshop pictures.” He snapped. “And what Isao is doing? Snogging some girl the second my dad isn’t looking? In his own fucking club?”

“He wouldn’t do that if your dad wasn’t okay with it!”

Sousuke did not look convinced. “Fucking cheater. And yesterday he played so wounded that James called him out on his fuckery.” His hands curled into fists.

Rin bit his lip and took a look at others. Kisumi was still arguing with Akira, while other guys seemed awkward sitting trying to not look at each other. No one seemed to be fine with what just happened, though.

**

Takeshi gasped when his body was pushed to the nearest wall. Isao’s strong hands quickly grabbed his thighs with ease and lifted him up so Takeshi could wrap his legs around his hips. Before he could say a word, Isao’s lips found his and they kissed again, forgetting about the whole world.

But when he felt Isao’s hands sneaking under the dress he snapped out of the pleasure.

“Wait…” Takeshi breathed out, catching Isao’s wandering hand while keeping the other around his neck.

Isao only grabbed it and pressed to the wall, lips quickly kissing down his neck. Takeshi closed his eyes, giving in for a few moments. God if Isao did not know all the places that made his weak.

“It’s your wife’s dress!” he whined out finally.

Isao let him go.

“Ow!” Takeshi caught the front of Isao’s jacket to not end up on the floor, legs shaking under him.

“What the fuck?” Isao looked pretty betrayed.

“We changed quickly behind the club,” Takeshi snorted. “She’s waiting outside, and she wants this dress in one piece.” He tugged it down, putting himself in order.

“Oh. I thought it was like… a gift?” Isao’s mind was starting to clear and he tried not to blush from embarrassment. What the hell got into him? Was he fifteen again? The blush only deepened when he noticed the marks on Takeshi’s thighs.

Takeshi looked up. “There are paparazzi in the club. They just took photos of you with a girl.”

“Oh.”

“You really do have a kink.” Takeshi cocked his eyebrow. “You thought I am seducing you.”

Isao blushed. “What. No.”

“Tsk, tsk. Who would have thought, all those years later…” Takeshi smirked and pulled him closer to kiss again. “I will remember and I promise I will wrap my legs around you again as soon as possible,” he whispered in his ear, trying not to laugh hearing the quiet ‘mean’, “but now someone is waiting to go back to her boyfriend. In this dress.”

Isao shook his head but let himself be tugged outside. Emi laughed seeing his face, so he tried to stop looking so disappointed.

“Told you.” Emi chuckled and started taking off Takeshi’s jeans. “Sweetie, you really need to gain some weight, I could not even zip those up. And I am small myself!”

Takeshi ignored her and pulled them up once she threw them at him, biting the inside of his cheek pretending to not hear Isao’s saddened sigh as his legs became covered. After putting his shirt over the dress, he pulled the dress down his jeans. Emi happily changed and after ensuring they were fine she high fived with Takeshi and left quickly.

“Turn around.” Takeshi ordered Isao.

“Why?” He was leaning against the car, deciding he can check out as much as he wants since he was plainly betrayed.

“I need to take the wig off.”

He was clearly confused.

Frustrated Takeshi turned him away himself and took the wig off to put the shawl around his head.

“Are you really hiding from me?” Isao asked quietly, giving him space.

“You just saw me all dolled up and the reality is way uglier, so save yourself.” He threw the wig to the metal box and set it on fire. No evidence was the point. They switched clothes with Emi since he did not dare to buy his own dress for tonight. Too much dare. Someone could have spotted him. Like this no one knew.

“Ugly?”

Takeshi finished wiping the make up off and threw the tissues in fire too.

“I am aware of how I look.”

“You’re not ugly without hair.”

“You throw fits when I don’t look like a fattie yet I am supposed to believe you don’t mind me bald?” Takeshi chuckled, closing the car.

“Fattie? Really?” He grabbed his arms so he would look at him. Takeshi growled. “You’re very underweight. And I want you to be healthy, not simply looking particular way. If being this thin would be healthy for you then I would not say a word, but it is not.”

Takeshi lifted his hand to smear the lipstick on Isao’s cheek. “You don’t look dishevel enough.”

“Takeshi…”

“I know I am sick,” he sighed. “Okay? I know this is not normal. I know I should want to gain weight. I will with time, but I just woke up from a bloody coma, so give me time.”

“But you don’t really want to, do you?”

Takeshi looked lost, surprised with the question. He shifted uncomfortably. “Go back, I will come from the front.”

He gasped when Isao brought him into a kiss, hands on his cheeks. “Someone will see…” Takeshi murmured against his lips.

“I don’t care.” He kissed him again. “Thank you for what you did for Emi and me.”

Takeshi clearly saddened and quickly looked away. Wasn’t so bad, being real and not caring about anything for a few minutes…

**

“I can’t believe this shit.” Kin gulped down his drink. “What the fuck.”

The fact that Isao went away with the girl meant nothing, but seeing him come back with a lipstick kiss on his neck and cheek said it all.

“Come on, she probably left it on purpose.” Iwao rolled his eyes. Seriously?

“This bastard screwed a girl in the bathroom in Takeshi’s club and you tell me to chill?!”

“Isao is gay!” He reminded him, losing his cool.

“Maybe not after all!”

Kisumi came back to the table so they went quiet. Seeing their faces he looked up to see his father by the barrier again. He sat down slowly, not so sure of his innocence anymore.

They watched as Takeshi finally showed up, stopped by the security to talk about something in the entrance. Isao noticed him and walked over, making Akira growl. “I am not going to hide it from Takeshi.”

“Akira, shut your face.” Nobu snapped. “You’re going to fuck their plan up.”

“What plan? To get Isao laid?!”

“Shut up!”

“Uh, oh, what an atmosphere.” Takeshi and Isao finally found and stood in front of them. “What’s up?”

Now none of them spoke, looking at each other.

“Maybe we should tell finally?” Rin put his hand on Sousuke’s knee, seeing his angry face. He really did not believe that this wasn’t some sort of a plan. Takeshi wasn’t a blind idiot, Isao was so in love with him that it hurt to watch, why on earth would he suddenly cheat on him? They were just talking about needing to find a way to set Isao free, too. It was sweet to see them all so protective of Takeshi, but some belief in Isao would not hurt either. Weren’t they all friends?

“You still haven’t told?” Isao asked surprised.

“We’ve been busy watching you screwing some chick on the side,” Sousuke said sarcastically.

“Sou!” Rin looked at him with disbelief.

Isao paled a little and slowly faced Takeshi. “You haven’t told them?”

“Told you Takeshi knew.” Nobu said like it was obvious but breathed out in relief himself.

“Takeshi!” Isao slapped his arm seeing him covering his face, arms shaking. “You bastard! You made a whore out of me!”

Takeshi started laughing but covered Isao’s mouth quickly with his hand. “Shut up, you’re going to bust everything!”

“Should have listened to me, you would not feel like a jerk now.” Rin looked at Sousuke who burned bright red.

“Still!” Sousuke tried to save his face. “I can’t believe you’re fine with that!” He pointed at his father.

“Tell them!” Isao pointed at him back, eyes on Takeshi.

“No, please, this is too funny.” Takeshi chuckled. “I am touched, though. The second you’re going to cheat on me, they will whoop your ass.” He grinned.

They looked completely confused.

“And I’m also slightly disappointed, but I guess it’s been years after all.” He put his arms across his chest with a sigh.

“Takeshi!”

“Give them a few minutes, they will get it finally.” Takeshi smiled brightly at Isao. 

“I was made a dickhead who uses you yesterday and today I’m a whore. Clean my image this instant!”

But Takeshi was deep in his thoughts. “I’m not sure with who I am most disappointed, though, those who should know because of memories, or the one who should have an eye on such things…” His eyes went from them to Kisumi.

Kisumi blinked.

“On the other hand, it took maybe ten minutes so I need to send some flowers to Emi for the make up, but the rest was me after all…”

“It was Emi?” Iwao asked.

Takeshi hid his face behind his hands.

“Oh, my God.” Kisumi’s jaw dropped but he seemed very happy about it. “It was you!”

The one big simultaneous “oh” that escaped their mouths made Takeshi laugh. “That’s sorted then. Come on, you cheater, you…” He grabbed Isao by his jacket without another word and pulled after himself, ignoring his grumpy face.

“Your father is badass.” Kisumi watched them walking away with awe.

Sousuke snorted. “Because he put a dress on?”

“Dude, do you know how much work it takes to look this natural? And he did it in ten minutes! In ten minutes he changed so much none of you recognised him, he set my dad and mom free, not to mention made him ridiculously happy if we ignore the fact that we were ensured he’s a dickhead for those few minutes… Amazing. I want tips. Also…” He bent a little to face him since they were separated with Rin sitting in between them. “He has killer legs.”

“He was disappointed in you for not figuring it out sooner.” Rin laughed.

“I know, right!” Kisumi crossed his arms. “Now I know why he was always protecting me from dad when he was throwing fits about my clothes. Wait…” Realisation hit his face.

“Huh?”

“Whenever I had a fight with my dad I was finding new clothes or make up in my room…”

Takeshi was currently talking to the man seemingly in charge of taking care of the concert tonight. After they finished he laughed at Isao seeing him still unhappy, so he patted his cheeks and pushed back towards them.

“That bastard.” Kisumi smiled.

“You think it was my dad?” asked Sousuke.

“Yeah…”

Takeshi and Isao walked over. “You either tell or no present for you.” Takeshi took a small box out of his blazer’s pocket.

“What’s that?” Sousuke asked curiously.

Takeshi did not say a word.

“Alright, alright…” He looked at Rin. “Come on.” Sousuke nudged him.

Rin smiled shyly. “So… we’re going to have a baby. I am pregnant.”

Everybody starred.

“There you go.” Takeshi clapped his hands together, and Rin was glad because now he realised he was saving them from minutes of awkward silence. “So, here is a little present for you two.”

Rin took it from him, surprised. He did not expect the present to be for him too. Sousuke urged him to open it so he unwrapped the box and looked inside.

Keys.

Seeing the question on their faces Isao showed a catalogue he was hiding behind him. Sousuke took it in his hands. “Oh boy.”

There were new apartments being build in the middle of Tokyo. Soon to be finished, they provided best service, security, and standard. The specific apartment Takeshi bought was right at the top, therefore a penthouse. It was massive, with enough rooms, kitchen, bathrooms. Such beautiful open space with the view on the city through windows from ceiling to the ground.

“They’re going to finish in a week and you’re going to be able to move in two,” Takeshi explained. “The kitchen and bathrooms are done, but the rest you can choose yourself. Of course you can change whatever you want, it’s yours.”

“Fuck… Thanks, dad.” Sousuke was speechless. It wasn’t that he was not used to getting expensive presents, but he did not expect Takeshi to give something like this to him and Rin, because such present was also a blessing for their relationship.

“You’re welcome. I was wondering which place would be the best for you two and the baby, and this is the safest, newest, close to any shops, offices, doctors, so… I hope you will enjoy living there.”

“Isn’t this a little too much?” Rin looked from one to another. “I’m so… I’m so thankful but… I just…”

Takeshi smiled. “Welcome to the family, Rin.”

Rin did not know what to say. Those were words he never, ever expected to hear from this man. And that so unexpectedly. “Thank you…” He felt himself tearing up.

Sousuke chuckled and hugged him with one arm.

“Get used to ‘too much’, that’s this family for you,” Isao shook his head, still a little bit mad for earlier.

“You weren’t whining when I found and bought you your favourite classic car.” Takeshi side-eyed him.

“Wait, YOU are going to be a granddad?” Akira couldn’t believe it, eyeing Takeshi. “You look twelve.”

Sousuke snorted.

“You had enough to drink tonight, love.” Takeshi commented, which made Akira did nothing else but hug him in the middle from where he sat and not let go. “Kid, come on.”

“Congratulations.” Nobu was first to get over his shock. “Sorry, it was a little bit of a surprise.”

“Yeah, for us too.” Sousuke admitted.

They chuckled.

“Big changes for you guys, then… And for Takeshi. From all of us you’re going to be a granddad first?”

“Always first in everything, you little bitch.” Kin stood up. “So, shall we cheer?”

Takeshi took the glass with alcohol laughing. Poor Rin. 

Family comes with a price.

**

He’d shout for help if he could, but the tape on his lips held them sealed. It was so dark, he did not know where he was. He wanted to cry. Sat on the chair he felt the rope digging in his tied hands.

“Well, well, well…” a whisper.

He turned his head to the right and left. Suddenly a lamp was switched on.

Four guys stood in front of him. He recognised one of them.

Sousuke.

“Hey, pretty boy.” He smiled. “Let me introduce you to my friends. This is Hinata.” He pointed to the boy his age standing on his right. Tall guy with a short haircut. “Katashi.” His hair was in a ponytail and he was already smirking. “And Ryo.” This one looked most feminine out of them, curiosity beaming from his eyes. “I thought you’d like to know with who you’re going to spend the rest of your very short life.”

He screamed for help.

**

Takeshi sat on the edge of the bath, covered in a silky short bathrobe. He pressed his fingers to his eyes, feeling ill. It was supposed to be such a hot night… They went to the apartment with Isao and soon they were both naked in the bed, kissing, touching, gasping from pleasure. It wasn’t often that they were falling asleep together but today was one of the nights he really just wanted to sleep in Isao’s arms.

It wasn’t given and the pain quickly woke him up.

He grabbed the pills he hid in the cupboard under the sink and took them, hoping the vitamins Florist had given him would help. If he made them then they had to contain something more than just simple vitamins. But so far it was only getting worse and he moved to the floor, leaning against the bath, feeling the headache worsening.

“What’s wrong?” He heard a quiet question. His head lolled to the side to face Isao, standing there naked but for the boxers he had to quickly put on. He did not look fully awake, clearly noticing suddenly he was gone. Only Isao could have a body of a God and punch like a stone yet look like a teddy bear when sleepy. Takeshi smiled.

“I’m fine, go back to sleep.”

Isao ignored his words and sat by him. Not surprised, Takeshi cuddled up to him, hiding his head in the crook of his neck and sighing feeling his warm body. You’d think with how cold he always was while Isao was like a walking radiator they should not separate at all.

And yet every common sense was against them.

“Do you want me to leave?”

Takeshi closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Do you need anything?” Both his arms embraced him and he moved his hands up and down to warm Takeshi up.

“You.”

He could feel his small smile as he put his cheek on top of his head. “I thought maybe you’re sick, doll.”

“I will be okay,” he whispered. He felt tired, the pain that weakened not keeping him awake anymore.

Isao had to notice it, and before he could protest he slipped his hand under his knees, the other under his back, and lifted him up. “Isao!” Takeshi quickly caught him around his neck to not fall.

“Don’t worry, I have you.”

Once Isao put him on the bed and lay by him on his side and pulled duvets over them, he curled up to him. “You always do,” he murmured.

Isao reached for his cheek and traced with his fingertips the bruise his father left. Normally covered with make up, now on display. “Not always.”

“He’s your father.”

His eyes widened for a second. “You think I’d let him hit you?”

A shrug.

“I’d never… Takeshi. I stopped you there because I did not want you to be in trouble. And you were barely standing on your legs. He’d hurt you more…” He closed his eyes, pressed their foreheads together. “I’d break his hand if he raised it at you in front of me. I should have been there. I am sorry.”

The truth was that he should have killed his father for what he did. Takeshi did not tell him to do so, and only because of what was between them. Anybody else would be burning for what they did to the mafia’s boss.

In a way, he wished Takeshi had ordered him to do it. He could feel the stares, the expectation. From everybody, but not Takeshi. Or maybe he was lying to himself and in reality Takeshi expected it too.

It wasn’t so easy to point a gun at your own dad.

“You can’t be by my side all the time, it’s impossible,” Takeshi whispered. “That’s not what bodyguards do. By contract I should only call you during special events and stuff. I can take care of myself, you know.”

“I’m sure there is a very good reason why you need me even during shopping.”

Takeshi chuckled. “Mhm… and in bed right now…”

“Especially in bed,” he said quietly. “So vulnerable in your sleep.”

“I’m sure you can do a good job with that hand of yours busy touching me right now.” Takeshi smirked feeling the fingertips teasing the sensitive skin of his inner thigh.

“I can multi-task.”

Takeshi sighed in pleasure when Isao pushed him on his back softly and moved between his legs. He kissed down his neck as his hands quickly untied the bathrobe.

“I swear you’re a crime itself…” Isao murmured, hands spreading his legs wider. 

**

Sousuke went upstairs, footsteps quiet in order to not wake Rin up. He needed his sleep.

They decided to move to his father’s house, thinking they will start planning after they’re going to move. Now that they received an apartment from his father they only had to wait for it to be finished. He still could not believe what happened today, with his father coming to both graduation and swimming competition, and then giving them a beautiful home…

He actually seemed very proud to be a granddad soon, which made Sousuke beyond happy.

Sousuke smiled when he reached his bedroom and saw Rin curled up on his large bed. His room was simple with the large bed taking most of it, bookcase on the side filled with his favourite comics, computer on a desk by the window. Everything was in calm black, white, and grey-ish colours.

For a while he’s been considering whether to tell Rin about his plan to catch the monster who tried to hurt him. But he decided that in his situation he should not know. Rin kicked the bastard out of his mind, so knowing Sousuke tore him apart would only add stress. He did not need to know. If he had constantly feared that the guy would hurt him again then Sousuke would tell, but Rin felt safe.

He undressed and lay by him, smiling when he unconsciously cuddled up to him.

It was so peaceful.

He could not get his dad out of his mind. Never in his life he’d imagine that he would actually ever see him in a dress so he was glad it was from far away the first time.

He tried not to laugh.

He did look good though, he had to give him that. He’d never recognise him. Takeshi was so natural and considering Isao’s lack of surprise he wondered how many times he saw him in dresses before. And Takeshi being protective of Kisumi… Crossdressing had to clearly be important to him for some reason.

For years he was used to his father’s terrifying side, suit and no smile was everything he knew. He liked how easily he could change, it made him sneaky.

And it was definitely useful when he wanted to sneak out with Isao somewhere and not hide. He tried not to chuckle. He could remember when Kisumi and him were commenting how boring and lifeless their fathers were.

Seems they were the boring ones after all.

**

Takeshi purred happily when he woke up to the sun warming up the room and a hot body hugging him from behind. He turned in Isao’s arms, bumping his nose in his.

“Morning.”

“Afternoon.” Isao said back, smile showing up on his face.

“Huh?”

“It’s one in the afternoon, sleepyhead.”

Takeshi opened his mouth in surprise. Holy shit.

“So how about taking this day off?” Isao offered.

“We have BBQ at Nobu’s later, though…” Takeshi put his head on his chest, feeling Isao’s hand caressing his back.

“Right…” Isao kissed the top of his head. “How about I will prepare a bath for us and then make breakfast?”

“Be careful or I’m really going to need a bodyguard here every night,” Takeshi whispered in his ear, poking his cheek with his finger.

Isao laughed quietly, turning his head towards him to kiss his nose, arm tightening around him as Takeshi stroked his chest. “You really expect me to be against that?”

Takeshi sighed, cheek on his shoulder. “We’re going to make it more difficult for us in the long run, you know that?”

“You really think purposely not doing the couple stuff will make it easier?”

“I don’t know.” Takeshi shrugged. He cringed when pain shot through his spine, making him quickly lift himself up into a sitting position with a painful gasp.

“What’s wrong?” Isao quickly sat by him.

“Nothing…” It wasn’t nothing. He needed to take the pills now but how was he supposed to do so as they were meant to take a bath together? Being a proper couple also meant a lot of trouble trying to keep secrets. Damn it. This was one of the many reasons he wasn’t fit to be a partner.

“Takeshi…” Isao saw his hands tightening on the covers, body tense. He was in obvious pain.

“Can you… I’ve got pills in the cupboard under the sink.” Please just get them and don’t ask questions.

Isao did, brought them back quickly with a glass of water. Takeshi’s hand shook when he took them and swallowed quickly. He rested his head on his knees, breathing out in relief.

“They’re from Florist, aren’t they?”

The question was simple and quiet, but Takeshi felt something growing in his throat making it impossible to reply.

“I can’t believe you went to him.”

And the worst thing about Isao was that when it came to Takeshi, he never attacked. Takeshi would prefer him to get mad, shout, even hit him. But when Isao was hurt, he just became quiet, disbelief in his voice.

The only time he felt his fist in his face was when he acted like a psychopath to Sousuke. Now there no one would be able to stop themselves, though.

“I was in pain,” Takeshi choked out. “I was so ill…”

“You could have told me. But you went to him.”

“Because I knew he would give me what I needed. He creates things no one else can.”

“He killed our child.”

Takeshi cringed. “That wasn’t his int…”

“Right. He only wanted to weaken you so much he could play with you. So you’d become dependant on him. And guess what happened.”

“Isao…”

“You gave him exactly what he wanted.”

“It wasn’t like that!” He looked at him desperately. “This is not how this game works! You don’t understand…”

Isao starred at him for a second and then stood up, shaking his head. Without another word he began dressing up, ignoring him completely.

“Isao, please…”

He walked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments! And messages! :D  
> I am also really moved by the love Takeshi and Isao are receiving. Considering they are my characters it really means the world!  
> xxx
> 
> nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com was updated with new beautiful artworks for this fic :) I am so grateful for every single person who feels inspired by this fic.


	39. Pretending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was there for you  
> In your darkest times  
> I was there for you  
> In your darkest nights

Isao angrily walked downstairs, using all of his strength to not kick something.

He could not believe it. He should have known, Takeshi looked so much better than the day before which was shocking considering he only just woke up from a coma after being so ill. No one improves so much over night. But instead of wondering and questioning and upsetting him again he decided to be happy that Takeshi was happy. Not everything had to be questioned.

Or maybe it should have been.

He slammed his fist against the wall right by the door.

If he would leave now, he would push Takeshi in Florist’s arms. This was the monster’s plan. He knew Isao would find out that Takeshi went to him and he knew he would be mad. Bastard did not heal Takeshi. If he’d meant to then Takeshi would not be in so much pain now. Already dependant on his drugs… He expected Takeshi to come back, pushed by their lack of help again.

Isao heard quiet footsteps and turned around to see Takeshi standing surprised in the middle of the stairs, wrapped in nothing but a silky bathrobe and the shawl he refused to take off his head even in the moments of complete oblivion.

Takeshi sat, hugging his knees, the healthy blush gone from his cheeks.

Isao kissed every inch of this tiny body yesterday, like he could heal it and his mind this easily. He walked up to him now, sat on a step lower than Takeshi and faced him.

“Do you understand what he is doing to you?” Isao whispered.

“He helped me…” Takeshi said quietly, almost afraid to talk.

Isao closed his eyes for a moment to calm himself down. “Listen. Florist will do everything to make a little puppet out of you. He will be kind. He will be helpful. He will apologise. You do not make someone love and depend on you through hate. And Florist wants you very much. He will be the sweetest so you will trust and love him.”

“I don’t love…”

“I know you do not. But you already trusted him and that after what he did to you…”

“Look.” Takeshi moved one step down to face him properly, and took his hands in his. “I knew he would help because of what happened. He… He lost my trust so he had to gain it back. I used it to receive the medication I needed… He would not choose to hurt me right when he had to fight for my trust. He does not want me like this, he wants me to come voluntarily, not out of desperation.”

“You do not know when he will choose to take action…” Isao shook his head. “This is so dangerous. Whatever he gave you, look how quickly it stops working. He wants you to come back for more.”

“I won’t.” Takeshi shrugged.

“The pain made you go to him once, yet it won’t again?”

Takeshi laughed sadly. “I hope the pain will lessen before I will run out of the pills he had given me.”

“You shouldn’t take them.”

“They help.”

“You don’t know what’s in them. They might cause you more pain or be addictive…”

Takeshi closed his eyes. “Okay. I will stop.”

Isao bent to kiss his hands, pressing his forehead to them for a moment. “I love you. And I will do everything to help you, but you have to talk to me.”

**

Takeshi sat in the kitchen and smiled as Isao mixed his perfect pancakes and started cooking, his moves fluid. Once done he sat in front of Takeshi and opened boxes with fruits and the cream that he went to buy quickly.

“What would you like?” he asked calmly, no rush.

Takeshi starred at the food. Come on…

“How about I will make you the tastiest one you have ever eaten?” Isao grinned, and without waiting did, completely not put off by Takeshi’s silence.

Takeshi felt embarrassed that he was so used to it.

Isao handed him the fork with a smile after pushing the plate with a delicious pancake with fruits and cream on it to him and carried on making more for himself.

They ate in silence, no comments on his slow eating, on the little pieces he was cutting, no forcing him to eat more, not a word about him barely finishing one while Isao ate three in his time without shaking hands.

They cleaned up together and he was surprised when arms circled him and a kiss was placed on his cheek. “Good job.”

Takeshi shook his head. “Don’t make me feel more pathetic than I already do.”

“Hey, hey…” Isao caught his arms and waited until he looked at him. He smiled. “Remember when they broke both of my legs into pieces?” The ask was sudden.

Takeshi cringed at the memory.

“Remember when you were teaching me how to walk again?” Isao added.

“Just helping you…” he whispered.

“Exactly.”

“You’re comparing broken bones to me not eating?”

“I am comparing one broken person to another, just in different ways.”

“You want to put my broken pieces together now, superhero?” Takeshi cocked his head, raising his eyebrows.

“Just watch me,” Isao stood determined, crossing his hands on his chest.

“How is it possible that you are not sick of me?” He did not really want to ask, but it slipped before he could stop it.

Takeshi was used to people being fascinated by him, interested, keen on learning from him, hungry for power and wanting it from him.

‘Be like me and you shall see what you have never seen before.’

But Isao always simply…

“I love you. There’s no such thing as getting tired of you.”

**

They sat in Nobu’s garden, a beautiful big place. A large wooden table and chairs were on the grass, with the BBQ on the side, meat placed inside sizzling on the fire. Family’s fluffy dogs were running around, playing with kids. Hinata was trying to show Sousuke and rest of the gang how he taught them tricks but they of course refused to listen at the time. Nobu’s wife sat closer to her girlfriends, her little girl on her lap, another small girl and boy playing with the puppies. From the whole gang Nobu definitely had the biggest and happiest family.

“Would you like me to help?” Iwao snorted, seeing Nobu flipping the chicken and it nearly falling off the grill.

“I know how to do a BBQ, thank you very much.” He pointed the fork at him. “Is Takeshi seriously trying to steal the puppy from my kids?” He deadpanned when Takeshi crawled discreetly and picked one fluffy pup from the ground to quickly run back to them.

He innocently smiled and sat back, throwing his legs over Isao’s, stroking pup’s fur. “They’re like teddy bears.”

“Give it back to my children, moron.”

“They have six more!”

Nobu sighed and decided to change the topic. “So, any news about your divorce?”

“I was called by my lawyer today, he said it will be much easier to accomplish anything now.” Emi grinned from the end of the table where she was chatting with girls.

“With how things are going we will need one massive party. Sousuke’s birthday, Kisumi’s, your divorce…” Takeshi cocked his head. “We should make it awesome for everybody.”

Isao nodded, hands on Takeshi’s legs. He loved moments where he could act completely natural. In a way he was supposed to restrain himself till Kisumi’s birthday but with everything that happened already, Kisumi pretty much found out everything. He still planned to talk with him sincerely on his birthday, though. Emi informed him that she explained to Kisumi about their relationship, but she kept mostly quiet about him and Takeshi. So Kisumi was aware that they had to get together, that this is how it was in their days. He did not take it badly when he was ensured they liked each other, that wanting a son was what drove them together. That he was always going to have parents, that they loved him beyond anything. Nothing else mattered.

He was pretty much an adult anyway.

The fact that Emi did not hide her boyfriend helped with him accepting that Isao had someone too. Even if it was the mafia boss. Isao wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted to tell him, apart from ensuring him that it won’t change anything between them. Did Kisumi care much whether he was with Takeshi or not? He doubted, especially after his reaction yesterday. He knew Kisumi was slightly scared of Takeshi but since Takeshi changed then so did Kisumi’s perception of him.

What was he supposed to say though? That they’re fuck buddies with actual feelings for each other? But neither were sure what other actually felt? Oh, and, never mind, son, we won’t ever come out in public anyway?”

“Are you okay?” Takeshi nudged him with his knee.

“Yeah…”

Isao laughed when the pup proceeded to lick the side of Takeshi’s face making him cringe and quickly put him on the ground.

Takeshi had more questions, but his phone called, so he walked away with it.

“He looks alright.” Kin poured some beer down his glass.

Isao nodded. He wasn’t sure whether to talk with them about Florist or not. Maybe it should stay between him and Takeshi for now.

“I could give him a few of my kilograms.” Iwao eyed Takeshi who was deep in a conversation with someone.

“I am pretty sure he would not accept the offer.” Isao reached for his drink.

“He does not want to eat?” Nobu asked.

“No, no, he is trying.” Isao shook his head. “It’s just. You know how he is.”

“He better eat, his tights are fucking smaller than your biceps, man.” Iwao cringed.

They all were used to Takeshi being too slim and always manipulating people by making himself look good. Everybody was always commenting on his style and looks, and the charming attitude that did not let them take a step back and think about the simple fact that he was too skinny. Takeshi was using it to his advantage; at the beginning they were fooled as much as everybody else. Now they were noticing him slipping in and out of the illness’ grasp sooner than him.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed.” Isao murmured.

“Sure you did,” Emi commented cheekily. She always knew when to drop a little joke to cheer up the atmosphere.

“Hey!”

They laughed at him.

**

“I can’t believe you don’t have anything bought yet.” Kisumi shook his head.

Sousuke and Rin had absolutely no idea how, but somehow Kisumi and Gou exchanged numbers and contacted each other to talk about how disgusted they were with their lack of preparation for their baby. Rin only has started showing, but apparently not having everything ready already was a crime.

So right now they were on the high street in Tokyo, with Kisumi and Gou tugging them to all the possible shops.

“What kind of pram you want?” Gou asked. “You should get a colourful one.”

“I don’t mind,” Rin shrugged. “Just not a black one.”

“What’s wrong with black?” Sousuke asked, hands grabbing the first one on display.

“It’s like a grave for a child.”

“Jesus.”

“I like this one.” Kisumi tugged one from the end. It was red with colourful metal.

“It looks like painted in comics, I like it too.” Sousuke went quickly to him. “And it’s light!”

“Check if it’s easy to push.” Rin cocked his head.

It was and Sousuke proceeded to make a circle around him, with a grin on his face. Rin laughed at his excitement.

“It’s like a first car for our son, very important stuff, Rin.”

“Of course.” Rin rolled his eyes. “How much is it?”

His jaw ended up on the floor hearing the price. “Wow, that’s way too much!”

Kisumi and Sousuke shrugged.

“You all have too much money.” Gou commented.

“My father taught me very important stuff,” Sousuke straightened. “Money is to be spent, not to be hidden in socks.”

“My father always added that, however, you always should have something on the side for the dark hour.” Kisumi added in a very serious voice.

“Dad said the second part is bullshit, that’s what friends are for.” Sousuke snorted.

They laughed.

“What exactly is your dad doing, Sousuke?” Gou asked, curiously looking through little shoes for babies.

“Business.” He kneeled by the pram to check the wheels.

“Yeah but what exactly?”

“Gou!” Rin tried to stop her questions.

“He owns companies,” Sousuke shrugged. “And then has interest in some others. He buys and sells houses and cars. All random stuff.”

“He was on TV yesterday, they could not even estimate how much money he has but they said he was the youngest one to become this influential and rich.”

“Really?” At least for once Sousuke was surprised.

“You don’t even know when your father is on TV?!” Gou threw the shoe at him.

He shrugged not bothered and looked at what was thrown in his face. “I like those.” He wanted to hand them to Rin but Rin’s hands were full of clothes, shoes, and toys he got while they were talking. “Really?”

“What.”

**

Takeshi took a deep breath in and lay down in the bath, feeling the water covering his face. He promised Isao that he would not take the pills Florist had given him, so he did not. But the pain was beginning to be so bad that he had to do something. Hot water helped.

He opened his eyes, everything blurred. If he could only keep the air in for longer…

He breathed in involuntary when the pain struck in, quickly lifting himself up and coughing up the water that got inside his lungs.

Takeshi eyed the cabinet where his drugs were. One pill and the pain would be gone for another few hours. Maybe he could even get some normal sleep.

Isao wouldn’t see. He wasn’t supposed to spend the night with him, busy with his business.

Hiss escaped his mouth when the pain worsened, making him bend in half.

He got out of the bath and reached for the pills, pain making his hands shake. Desperately he swallowed two, and took those for his hair too, as he started shaking on the floor, curled up.

And when the pain stopped, the feeling of failure came. He bit his lips together.

But why should he choose to suffer when the pain reliever was right by him? It was just unfair.

He sighed when the phone rang and reached for it lying by the sink.

Isao.

“I’m not interrupting I hope?” He sounded happy about something, making Takeshi focus.

“Nope. Just took a bath. What’s up?”

“Just calling to tell you that they, I mean the lawyers, they confirmed what Emi said, and Emi is going out tonight with her boyfriend and she will get pictures too. We should be free by the end of the month!”

Takeshi smiled. “I am so happy for you.” He shouldn’t have takes two pills. He was falling asleep against his will.

“Is everything okay?” There was concern in Isao’s voice.

“Yeah, why?”

“You sound… weird.”

“Just tired.”

“Are you in pain?”

Takeshi bit his lip. “Not really.”

He was quiet for a moment. “Are you lying to me?”

“I took the pills.” Maybe being so tired made him honest, maybe because he could feel there was something wrong. Or maybe once again it was simply too difficult to lie to the one that really just wanted to help.

And deserved to know what he got himself into.

Hearing nothing but silence he sighed. “I am going to get some sleep. Goodnight.”

“Wait!”

“Isao?”

“Did they help?”

“I don’t feel pain.”

“You don’t sound well.”

“I took two. They’re making me sleepy.” He closed his eyes.

“Takeshi, don’t fall asleep. I am going to be there in a minute.”

“’m tired…”

“Takeshi, don’t!”

**

Isao ran upstairs like his life depended on it, straight to the bathroom where he knew Takeshi was the last time he heard from him. He already called the doctor and he was on his way too.

“Takeshi!”

He was lying on the floor in only a towel. Isao quickly kneeled by him, breathing out in relief when he felt the pulse. “Takeshi?” He patted his cheek but he did not react.

“I am going to kill that bastard…” Isao whispered, lifting Takeshi easily and taking to the bed where he dressed him and put the duvets over to make him warm.

The doctor came over, quickly checking his health. He was fine, just overdosed which put him to sleep. Luckily he did not need to go to the hospital.

“You need to give him something stronger for the pain.” Isao sat by Takeshi, facing the doctor who took the sit in the leather armchair on the side. The tension was finally leaving his body.

Takeshi’s bedroom was as simple as the rest of the apartment. Every single of his houses and apartments were very similar. Simple, but modern. Sharp edges, marbles, white, black, silver colours. In the middle of the bedroom stood a massive bed with silky covers, opposite to it a TV attached to the wall. While simplicity could look gorgeous, Takeshi’s places were so hotel-like they were simply cold. And for someone who loved life you’d think his would be beaming with it. But Takeshi did not really have a home since he lost Umiko. There was not a single picture hung anywhere. They were just places, and he moved from one to another and sold them as often as possible. The only one he kept was the one Sousuke lived in for a while. He even tried to make it more homely but it did not really work out. Now that Sousuke received his own place that house would probably be sold soon too.

“You saw what just happened when he got drugs.” He shook his head.

“He’s in pain, doc. If he would not be then he would not be desperate enough to go to Florist!” Isao wasn’t cruel. He told Takeshi to not take what Florist had given him but he was in obviously so much pain that it was stronger than him. Takeshi would not make himself dependant on Florist for the sake of fun.

“Isao, if it were up to me, he would be in the hospital right now. Still attached to IVs, monitored, and receiving psychological help. You and him decided to let him go. I can’t give him drugs when I know how much effect they will have on him. He is sick!”

“If Florist created something that did not hurt his kidneys, why can’t you find something similar!”

“I gave him herb based products. Florist clearly figured something stronger out.”

“Give him proper painkillers then.”

“He should not take drugs so early. His kidneys will fail, Isao.”

Isao sighed frustrated. “What am I supposed to do then?”

“Make him go back to the hospital or keep an eye on him until the pain will stop, ensure he won’t take anything.”

“Maybe those drugs aren’t bad?” Isao stood up and went to the bathroom to search for them. But he discovered them all gone. Takeshi had to take everything there was left. Of course Florist gave him less than he probably needed.

He sighed in defeat.

**

Takeshi woke up to a hand softly stroking his short hair. He opened his eyes to see no one but Isao and he tried not to laugh because he was sleeping or at least looking like, head supported with hand, but his other hand was still moving.

Takeshi caught his wrist and he woke up.

“Hey, doll,” he murmured, rubbing his eyes awake.

“Come here.” Takeshi pulled him and chuckled when Isao lay by him without another word, head on his stomach, hand grabbing his thigh. “What’s your obsession with my thighs…”

“Sexy.”

Takeshi rolled his eyes, but played with his hair for a change. Isao started laughing when he pulled them up in a ponytail.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Isao lifted himself up so he could lie by Takeshi and embrace him. “I’ve got a plan.”

“What plan?”

“We want to give our boys a birthday party in a week, right? And the exam is right after.”

“Yeah…”

“So I announce this week our holiday.”

“Another one?” Takeshi whispered.

“It’s quiet lately. Even Nanase seems to have backed off. So let’s use the opportunity and for one week just stay here, binge watch your favourite tv shows, eat, and sleep. Just… relax.” His fingertips stroked Takeshi’s arm.

Takeshi knew what it was about. Normally he would probably fight against the idea, with how much he should be doing instead. But he really did not have strength anymore.

**

“Okay, boys. Ready?”

Sousuke and Kisumi stood by each other, scarves covering their eyes. They were of course in the club, this was about the birthday surprise after all.

“Yes!”

Once the scarves came off the music exploded and they stood on the stage, seeing the whole club filled with people they knew, now watching them from the top and sides. There was a massive cake in the middle, chocolate one which was favourite of them both, colourful lights, balloons, banners… there was everything and happiness was beaming from it.

They turned around at once and hugged Takeshi and Isao, then Emi and Rin who quickly jumped up to them.

God, Sousuke thought. When he spoke to his dad for the first time here, he did not even dream about the day they would speak kindly to each other, with love. Hugging? Laughing together?

But here they were standing, and with Isao, and Kisumi, and his sweet Rin who was pregnant and it started to show. How much could happen in just a few months…

There were so many presents on the side, but the best ones were standing right with him. And his dad… Sousuke could not be happier seeing him looking so much better than the week before.

The tired, pained look was gone, replaced with happiness. He was rested, charming as everybody knew him, now clearly noticing he was back to his good health and commenting on it. He was still slim but the sunken cheeks were not as prominent anymore. There was a healthy blush back on them. The cheeky black eyeliner flick was so subtle yet fit, and his hair was strong and thick cut in a short haircut with his side shaved and rest reaching his cheek. His dad was back in his full manipulating pretty yet dangerously sharp look, fulfilled with the black colours of his clothes, as always slim and fit and expensive.

Isao looked better too, short haircut Sousuke did not remember him having for awhile, more into letting his hair grow longer into curls and putting them back into ponytail, and it wasn’t difficult to guess that this one week he spend together with Takeshi, because their eyes were on each other even more often than usually. Isao was rested and peace came back on his face. Everything was right in their paradise and Sousuke could not have been happier. 

They sat together after Isao wrapped his arm around Kisumi and they walked out of the club, Takeshi and Emi looking at them with smile.

“How massive is this cake?” Sousuke took another piece, making a satisfied sound after taking a bite.

Rin snorted. “You always liked chocolate didn’t you?”

Sousuke send him a beautiful smile.

“Good to have you back!” Akira quickly hung himself on Takeshi who was sitting by Sousuke. “We’ve missed you. You look beautiful, by the way.”

“Aww, thank you, sweetie.” Takeshi made the most cooing noise he could accomplish, making Sousuke gag.

They laughed.

Takeshi’s gang had a certain bond that Sousuke really hoped to develop between his boys. When one suffered, seemingly they all did. When one was happy, so were the others. Since Takeshi got sick they all seemed lost and afraid, circling him and holding him up as much as they could. Now they were all watching him with happiness and seemed calm.

The boss was back.

Takeshi slapped Akira’s hand away when he tugged his hair.

“Back off, little shit.” But there was no anger on his face, just a sincere smile that only brightened when Isao and Kisumi came back.

Without a word Akira moved out of the way so Isao could sit by Takeshi. Kisumi sat by Emi who hugged him and kissed his cheek.

Everything was fine.

**

He bent over the toilet, fingers in his throat.

That’s all. That’s all it took.

He thought he would feel bad for fooling everybody. He felt bad for fooling Isao, but when everybody looked at him with so much happiness… He was doing them a favour, wasn’t he?

Reassuring the perfect boss was back, nothing stopping him anymore.

In reality fearless boss was back because he remembered that the easiest way to get people off his back was by pretending to eat and taking care of it later. It was disgusting. But it was the only way it could work.

Whatever Florist had given him made his hair grow back healthy and made him look strong. He wasn’t sure how long that would last for, but it proved to Isao that he really was better.

It made him feel like shit, seeing him so happy and proud of him. This week was fantastic, he even began to eat more… but with it came feeling of sickness. Even though they started exercising. Even though he was starting to feel hungry. It was like gaining made him angry. Being normal made him feel angry.

So he ruined everything again.

He went to the sink, flushed his mouth with cold water. The mirror reflected the tears that escaped his eyes, mixed with eyeliner creating black lines on his cheek.

He looked like shit.

Water. Towel. Make up.

And perfect again.

He sat on the sofa in the office attached to the private bathroom, feeling a little dizzy.

The phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Takeshi.” Familiar voice.

“Florist.” He sighed. “Hello.”

“I guess I should ask how are you first by the sound of your voice.”

“I better sound fucking fantastic to you.”

There was a quiet ‘hmm’ noise. “Ah. Sousuke’s birthday. Trying to seem perfect yet still feeling sick.”

“Something like that.”

“Your voice sounds raspy.”

Takeshi growled. “What do you want?”

“Ah. My pills made you look healthy. You show people you’re fine because you’re eating again. And then taking care of it later. Interesting, is it worth just to keep the image of perfection?”

“Florist.” For fuck’s sake.

“Is it?”

“When happiness of others is important to you, sometimes it is.”

Another interested ‘hmm’. “I wanted to invite you to the opening of my underground club. Feel free to take your friends with you.” Like he did not just figured out his biggest secret.

“I am sure they’re going to love the idea.”

“They won’t have much of a choice when you will announce that you’re going.”

“Who says I will?”

“Oh trust me you do not want to miss that.”

Takeshi snorted.

“When?”

**

Takeshi let the smoke out of his mouth. He was standing outside the club by the forest, eyes closed embracing the silence. It was a warm night but the light wind cleared his mind.

“Dad.”

He turned around to see his son, slightly tipsy making his way towards him happily.

“Son.”

Sousuke chuckled. “You okay?” He sat on the grass by him so Takeshi decided to too.

“Are you?” Well he obviously came to him for something.

“I was thinking about the university.”

“Okay…”

“I don’t think I will go.”

“Kiddo, I know you had a lot on your head lately, so it was difficult for you to pass your exams and do your work, but I am back on track now and you can easily…”

“No,” Sousuke sighed. “I am not going to have a future in swimming anyway. If I’d wish to, I’d need to give all my time to it. No mafia. No being a father.”

“You’re talented.”

“Talent isn’t everything, dad.” Sousuke smiled. “I am not as stupid as Nanase to think I am going to get everywhere just by being talented. There was a reason why he wasn’t on the competition.”

“I thought that’s thank to us.”

“No. I investigated it. His father actually managed to clean this for him…”

“Dickhead.”

“… As usual Nanase whined and did not bother to do shit. His friends tried to get him back on track but he preferred to throw fits. Seriously you wish you’d seen it. And he failed. When he was put against people who actually gave a damn, more or less talented, but who fought and practiced, he lost.”

“Interesting.” Takeshi leaned against the tree. “I’d say he did my job, but this wasn’t much of a heartbreak after all then I guess.”

“Oh apparently he was shocked to lose so easily. Reality hit hard and even his friends found it difficult to feel sorry for him. I don’t think he was stupid enough to wish for a future in Olympics with his attitude, but…” He furrowed his eyebrows. “Actually he probably did. Never mind, he fucked himself up on his own, which is great. I am sure his father is happy considering he stood on his head to get him back in swimming and this is what he got back. Not to mention Nanase can’t do anything else and now no university wants him.”

“Sometimes things work out on their own.” Takeshi smiled, hugging himself. They were quiet for a moment. “You know, if you at least kept on swimming for one more year you’d have a chance to be on the upcoming Olympics. You always wanted to win Olympics.”

“True.” Sousuke bit the inside of his cheek. “But I am not perfect, dad. I can’t do everything.” He seemed ashamed. But he made his choice. Family was always first. Mafia was family. Rin and his child was family.

“No one is perfect, son.”

“Have you looked in the mirror lately?” Sousuke snorted. “Everybody loves you. Everybody thinks you’re perfect. You are. You win. You’re always a winner, no matter what it is about, you can do it everything. Even now. Florist made you so ill, and Isao’s dad attacked you, and everything that happened with mom… Yet you’re here looking flawless so soon after and everybody looks ready to worship you.”

Yeah, Takeshi thought. So perfect with fingers down his throat whenever he was alone, begging enemy for drugs because of pain he could not deal with, learning how to treat his son right when he was no child anymore, lying to the one that did truly love him. But at least on the outside he looked like the perfection they expected, right?

“Then don’t do everything.” Takeshi looked at him. “I will get you a private coach who will get you ready for Olympics. No course. No university. Just Olympics.”

“You will really do that?” Sousuke asked surprised.

“Well you have to promise to win.”

Sousuke’s grin turned into a chuckle when Takeshi wrapped him into a one arm hug.

“You’re the best, dad.”

Takeshi felt sick. He wasn’t. He really wasn’t.

“How are you and Isao then, huh?” Sousuke asked, cheeky smile on his face.

“Don’t you have your pregnant boyfriend to come back to?”

“Aw, come on.”

Takeshi shrugged. “We’re fine.”

“You know he really loves you, right?” Souske bumped in his arm. “A lot.”

Takeshi smiled. “Poor guy doesn’t know any better.”

“You’re really stupid when it comes to relationships, aren’t you?”

“You know maybe I will forget to pay the coach.”

“Okay, okay.” Sousuke rolled his eyes. “I will mind my own business. Just don’t fuck it up, dad.” He stood up and walked away, only to turn around and shout quickly, “you’re coming back?!”

“Yeah, in a minute!” He shouted back and sighed when Sousuke waved and closed the door after himself.

“Just don’t fuck it up…” Takeshi repeated to himself in a murmur. He looked up at the twinkling stars.

Didn’t he already?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Birthday was yesterday so here's a present from me to you all :)


	40. Underground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want you, I need you  
> I want you to take me underground  
> When you go  
> When you go, it's like I put my life on the line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet :)

“Fuck.”

Takeshi looked at his hair that fell out, now right in his hand. He was standing in the bathroom, trying to put himself in order. Quickly he flushed it down the toilet and walked out, jumping in surprise seeing Isao with two glasses of wine.

“I thought we might end the night with a little celebration of our own?” He smiled a little shyly.

Takeshi took one and embraced him, leaving a kiss on his cheek. “You’re the best, you know that?” They had to end the cheesiness soon or they would end up drowning in it.

He shook his head. “I told you I am just trying to help you.”

“You’re doing more than helping me.” Takeshi chuckled.

“Because you’re important to me.” It was so simple to Isao, he just shrugged and sat on the bed, getting comfortable. “Weird this week is over.”

“It was fun doing absolutely nothing, huh?” Takeshi grinned and sat by him. This week wasn’t as perfect as Isao thought it was, but when it came to their relationship, he absolutely loved spending time with Isao and doing nothing. They both always had so much on their minds, used to running from one place to another and not sleeping for days, yet together, when they simply laid by each other, it was enough to just be quiet. No need for the adrenaline, they could just relax. And in complete silence they needed nothing but each other to be happy.

“I liked when we weren’t doing nothing too.” He answered cheekily.

Takeshi laughed and reached over him to put their glasses on the nightstand and then proceeded to sit across Isao’s hips, hands swiftly lifting his shirt. Isao made a satisfied noise and after the shirt was gone his hands quickly found its way back on Takeshi’s thighs, already sliding up to grab the belt around his hips. Takeshi bent and kissed him on the lips, pushing hands in his short hair.

“I vote for celebrating this way.”

“Approved.”

Takeshi laughed when he was quickly flipped on his back.

**

Sousuke looked around himself with curiosity. Today was the time for an exam.

The recruitment to Yakuza began at the age of sixteen, but they were not official until reaching the age of eighteen. One of the many parts they were checked on was overall knowledge on their world and their opinions.

He was actually quite curious how many questions were going to be about his dad. It was tricky to see him as the boss, not father in this moment.

Some boys and girls were clearly frightened, some excited. They all jumped when the doors opened and no one else but Takeshi Yamazaki and his bodyguard Isao Shigino walked in.

Sousuke was sat in the far corner at the end hoping no one would really notice that he looks a little like his father. Luckily no one was interested in him when their future boss walked in.

It was interesting seeing his dad and Isao all professional. Takeshi did not seem interested in them, smirk showing up on his face when he noticed their stares. Isao looked strict and emotionless.

“Fuck, he is hot.” The boy on the right whispered.

Sousuke tried not to choke on his own saliva.

This was seriously getting out of hand. He preferred when his father looked like a boring man who slept in his pitch perfect suit. Here he was standing all stylish again, two women and a man responsible for the exam eyeing him with curiosity and fascination.

“Bitch, he’s the boss.” The girl sitting in front of the boy turned around to look at him with disbelief.

“How the fuck this changes anything?”

“When you’re going to be familiar with him enough to ask where the fuck he got those shoes from, then we can talk about his looks,” she whispered back.

“You all are fucked.” The boy in front of Sousuke shook his head, disapproving of the conversation in the first place, seemingly bored and clearly here to pass and leave. They turned around to notice the examination board looking at them with Takeshi with one of the papers in his gloved hands.

“My friend sent them from London from Selfridges. They’re Louboutin.” Takeshi answered her question.

The girl laughed. “Thank you!” She lifted her thumb up and then sunk in her chair. “I am so fucking dead,” she whispered to herself. “What I’ve spent the past two years revising for.”

“The fuck did you revise?” A girl sitting by her looked terrified. This wasn’t something she wanted to hear a minute before the exam. 

“Girls!” The man shouted, making everybody go quiet.

“So…” Takeshi took a look at the exam in his hand. “No stress, most of this exam asks for your opinions after which we will simply decide whether you’re a right fit for us or not.” Takeshi stood in front of the examiners, Isao on his left.

“What if we’re not?!” Someone shouted.

Takeshi smiled kindly and continued without answering the question. “A few questions test your overall knowledge. You have two hours. Good luck.”

“Okay, guys.” The man on his right clapped his hands. “It is twelve pm. You may begin.”

Before Sousuke dived in the paper, he noticed his father looking at him and sending a quick wink.

**

“So how did it go?” Takeshi asked Sousuke.

He was surprised when his son offered a walk after the exam. But here they were, comfortable by each other taking a walk in the park, beautiful weather cheering up their moods.

“Well, dad,” Sousuke sighed dramatically. “Are there wrong and right opinions, really?”

“Yes.”

“Hey!” Sousuke laughed.

“Anyway, so what’s up with Kisumi?”

“Apparently he felt very ill and could not come.” Sousuke looked at his father, eyes unsure. “I really do not know what’s going on with him, but he is obviously running away from anything to do with us.”

Takeshi hummed. “I’ve noticed. The question is whether there’s something wrong with him, or he simply wishes to be let go.”

Sousuke was quiet for a moment. “I think he wishes we would leave him alone.”

“I do not have a problem with leaving him alone, but he needs to say it in my face, not run away like a bitch unless there’s free food somewhere.”

“Dad.”

Takeshi sighed. “Is this him just not feeling it, or someone is controlling that muppet?”

Sousuke shrugged. “It is difficult to get to him lately. He has a new boyfriend and doesn’t really show up wherever we are. But we did go shopping a few days ago. Now with that boyfriend though. I told him to show up with him but Kisumi disses the conversations.”

“Boyfriends who aren’t introduced to friends and family after months do not mean anything good.”

“Do you want me to find out who it is?” Sousuke asked the obvious question.

“Yes. Make sure nobody knows.” Takeshi put his hands in his jeans’ pockets.

Sousuke nodded and reminded himself why he wanted to talk in the first place. “By the way, about yesterday…”

“Yes?”

“Sorry for jumping on you with relationship advice, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

When he woke up with a hangover in the morning and remembered what he said to his father he thought he was going to burn.

Takeshi laughed. “Don’t worry about it. You did not say anything wrong.”

“It’s not my place to come to you and interlude in your relationship with Isao.”

“You just told me not to screw it up. Isao is like a father to you, it’s normal you care for him.”

“You’re my dad. I care for you.” Sousuke faced him. “And I care for Isao. So I just want you two to keep being happy.” He snorted. “You two so obviously love each other it’s actually a little painful to watch. And sickening...” He cringed.

“Since when you’re so sincere with me, huh?”

Sousuke grinned. “Since you’re with me.”

They moved to the side when three small children ran past them, laughing holding balloons in their hands. It was a large park with bright green grass and many trees and colorful flowers. Ice creams were sold in every corner and people gladly bought them to chill in the hot weather.

They looked a little out of place in their blazers.

Takeshi shook his head. “I wish everything was as easy as you are seeing it.”

“I don’t get what’s the problem. You’re pretty much out so just acknowledging it is something you can’t do? I don’t understand.” Sousuke ignored that he was already interfering again. He was the last person to care about any relationship apart from his own, but the fact was that his father’s relationship had an impact on him too. He could not even imagine what would happen if Takeshi and Isao would break up. But apart from selfishly fearing the impact on him, he mostly feared how hurt they would be. While he understood the importance of not being dependant on your partner, Takeshi and Isao were even bonded by contract.

There was a reason why business partners shouldn’t date.

They were so close, spending most of their time together, that it was impossible to imagine them separately.

“We’re the generation that could not date whoever we wanted. Even marrying the opposite gender wasn’t enough. Some of us still think the marriages should be arranged, this is why there are so many who want to marry you. Marrying into money, position, sometimes simply blood. Matching rich with the rich. Plus homophobia was still a thing, especially in families such like ours. I was lucky enough to not care about the genders and later falling in love with your mom. But Isao only likes men, so he was screwed up and had to marry someone he did not love. He was still lucky though, Emi is a freaking angel.”

“But it still wasn’t enough, was it? Grandad wanted you to marry someone else.” When Sousuke really thought about it, he was surprised his father was still standing on both legs. He was strong and Sousuke was envious – he had mental issues and needed a psychologist for issues that seemed laughable compared to his father’s, who constantly faced disapproval for everything. And now found out how far his father went in manipulating his life just as he wanted it, not caring about his son’s happiness. Then there was Florist, and all the other problems, most he probably wasn’t even aware of.

Mental illness is not to be compared, but he could not imagine dealing with all of it. He was so glad his father took control on how their world run, plus that he was born in the next generation. He could hold Rin’s hand and no one cared whether he was a man or a woman. He could marry him. They could have children without facing sneering from everybody around.

“Your grandfather wanted to be the best. He did not accomplish it, so he hoped for his heir who unfortunately turned out to be everything he hated. Not straight, in love with not only a man but also his future bodyguard, girly looking and interested in girly things and what’s the worst, not thinking it was bad.” He tried not to wince seeing all of the people eating, the sun melting ice creams, resulting in people licking their fingers from them. It made something flip in his stomach so he focused on the pavement in front of him.

“How on earth knowing fashion makes it impossible to be a good ruler…” Sousuke might have had an unstable childhood but if anything then his father taught him one thing – acceptance. Which was slightly hypocritical and confusing to him because Takeshi had so many expectations to his behaviour, but at least when it came to others he knew that it does not matter who they love or how they look. Gender roles were a joke to him. He never judged people on those.

“Obviously it doesn’t since I became something my father would not even dream about me being. Although, that was through acting like a man he wished me to be.” Takeshi did wonder whether he would accomplish his position without turning into a bastard he never intended to be. He wasn’t a good person, he never planned to be, but some things he would accomplish differently if he would not change.

It did not matter though. At least his position was established quickly and barely anybody had the strength to try to kick him off his pedestal.

His father was cruel but he could never say that he was wrong when it came to mafia.

“Who stands in your way now apart from Isao’s father?”

“We’re under contracts, Sousuke. It is wrong and against the law for the bodyguard and the one he protects to be in a relationship.”

“You’ve been in a relationship for years.”

Takeshi shrugged. “Law is law. Those are rules made a long time ago. Theoretically I agree with them,” he laughed. “It is difficult to keep professional sometimes. Luckily for us we’re in the highest positions so we can mostly do whatever we want, but there are still people in mafia who were here before us. Like Isao’s father.”

“What could they do? If you actually became public?”

“Oh, Isao’s father would make my life hell, trust me.” Seeing his son’s urging look he sighed. “Honestly? I think he would kill me.” This was honesty, not an exaggeration. He knew Isao’s father was capable of it. Isao wasn’t, a typical blind son ensured his father is only throwing fits because things aren’t going the way he wishes to. But Takeshi met his father enough times, talked with him on the side, and heard his father talking with him when they thought he was sleeping upstairs. He was surprised he did not slash his face open with a knife already.

“But you’re a son of the one he protected, shouldn’t he…”

“He swore to protect my dad. Since I am pretty much a traitor, he does not consider me his son.” Bodyguard do what bodyguards are told. When you serve a man who treats his son like a piece of trash, you do not gain respect or parental feelings over him. Especially when you’re just like the man yourself.

Unless you’re Isao. The more he acted like a monster, the more Isao loved Sousuke and protected him.

“This is fucked up. You’re not fifteen year old teenagers, you’re grown up ass men, what the fuck.”

Takeshi laughed at how insulted Sousuke was over the situation. Kid always acted so protective over them, like it was his duty even though he only just began being kind to him. “This isn’t about him being mean and not coming to our wedding. This is about him making me regret I ever looked at his son.”

“But you’re the boss.”

There was a little smile on Takeshi’s face. “Once you will became a father, you will understand why others fear fathers the most. And moms, of course, but that’s beside the point. Isao’s mom loves me. It doesn’t matter who you are in business.”

“Why Isao didn’t do anything? He’s your bodyguard but did not do a thing about this.” Sousuke was still angry at the lack of reaction on Isao’s side. Fine, he was his father. But his father nearly killed Takeshi in front of everybody already, and he acted like nothing happened.

Takeshi sighed. “What would you do if I slapped Rin?”

Sousuke cringed. “Dad, that punch could kill.”

“What would you do?”

Silence. “I don’t know.” He stuttered. He’d push his father away, he would not let him touch Rin in the first place, but would he do anything beyond that? He was his father. Rin was his partner. Both were family. Both were equally important.

“See. Life isn’t this easy.”

Sousuke stopped their conversation for a moment to get himself an ice-cream, growling at his father who declined the offer of Sousuke buying one for him too. “Would you actually want to be out? Or you feel it isn’t worth the trouble?”

“There are moments I wish I could be honest. But we both think it isn’t worth the trouble. It’s not like we pretend to not know each other in public, we’re a dirty secret everybody knows but until we don’t make it official it’s fine.”

“I’d think Isao would want to come out.”

“Why?” he asked surprised.

“He seems a jealous type, so watching you all the time without being able to say a word has to be annoying. And you’re slightly oblivious and think people are friendly when they’re actually flirting with you.”

“I know when people are flirting with me.” Takeshi chuckled.

“Well, then you like to piss off Isao.”

“Healthy jealousy never hurt anybody.” He bumped in his arm. “We are… well, especially he is used to sharing. After years of learning how to keep completely emotionless in such situations I need to awake that spark in him again. It’s a little… annoying when he pretends not to care.” He had to admit it was childish but there was something about Isao showing his jealousy that he liked. Coming out wasn’t worth the trouble, but sometimes he wished Isao could at least show he cares openly.

As a boyfriend, not a bodyguard.

Which wasn’t exactly fair since theoretically they weren’t an actual couple. He wasn’t sure how to become one. It was the stupid assumption that until they’re not out in the open they’re not “real”.

Sousuke snorted. “James did a good job, I never saw Isao this pissed off.”

“Oh, James is the best. He does not need to do anything and Isao is already angry.”

“Why?”

“I am not sure, to be fair. I guess Isao blames himself for things, and James was always perfect in pulling out your insecurities. Besides, James is my best friend so he is biased. Isao really tries his best but he is a realistic person while James lives in a dreamland. To James Isao not putting a ring on my finger and telling everybody I am his is beyond his reasoning. Isao thinks further and knows this would also equal to putting a gun to my head. But when you know everybody thinks you have a cheap fuck on the side who desperately waits for you while you’re comfortable in your lie, when in reality you’d give your life for such person… it stings.”

“Is that what people say?”

“Apparently.”

Sousuke cringed. He never really heard such rumours, but then rumours did not really come to him considering who was his father.

“I don’t care, there are worse things going around.” Takeshi shrugged. “Isao does not deserve this bullshit, though.”

“You don’t deserve it either, dad.”

Takeshi smiled and put his hand on Sousuke’s arm, tightening it for a moment.

**

He did.

He sat comfortably on Florist’s bed, looking around curiously and decided to pick up the book from the nightstand while he had to wait. 

Poisons.

Well at least this one was more interesting.

“Jesus Christ!”

He lifted his head when Florist walked out of the bathroom, towel around his hips, terrified expression on his face as he noticed him.

“Hi.”

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” If eyes could kill, Takeshi would be dead.

“Why, you’re not happy to see me?” Takeshi asked innocently, putting the book on the side.

“How the hell you got here?!” His hands were tight around the towel, angry and slightly embarrassed he made Takeshi laugh.

“Through the window.” He pointed, still on the bed.

“What?!”

“I climbed.”

Florist’s expression became hilarious in its disbelief mixed with amazement. “It’s fucking…”

“Yeah, pretty high. Nothing I can’t do.” Takeshi said nonchalantly.

“Do you mind?”

Takeshi looked up confused.

“I would like to dress up.”

“Sure.” A shrug.

“GET OUT!”

Takeshi sighed slightly insulted and walked out, giving him some space. He went to the bookcase to find something more interesting but before he could find it he was suddenly grabbed and slammed against it, which took his breath away for a moment.

“Je… Jesus.” He choked.

“I could kill you.” Florist wrapped his hand around his neck, clearly not taking being nearly caught naked well.

“You could.” Takeshi rasped out, struggling to stay conscious as all air was cut. “Your life would become fucking boring, though.”

Florist kept him like that, not saying anything, but when his vision became blurry he was let go. He hit the floor coughing up on air. Florist kneeled by him and grabbed his arm to make him sit and then grasped his chin.

“Don’t be so clever, pretty boy. You’re not that strong yet. Otherwise you would not be here.” He slapped his cheek lightly.

“Not my fault.” Takeshi touched his throat, waiting for his breathing to even out. “I want more of those hair pills. Vitamins would not be bad either. Although I am not in pain anymore so they can be actual vitamins.”

Florist did not move.

“Come on, I will pay you.”

He sighed and stood up. “Come in.”

Takeshi watched as he made his way to the door and stood on slightly shaky legs. He blinked a few times and followed. Together they went downstairs, all the way to the underground where Takeshi looked around curiously.

Underneath the beautiful small castle was the truth to Florist’s success. Underneath the pretty surface was the ugly reality.

Weren’t they all the same?

It was dark in the dungeons, lamps on the walls lightening them up just enough. There were many bookcases with books older than their grandfathers, kept in perfect conditions yet colour of the leather fading. At the end was a wooden heavy table, objects needed for mixing and producing.

He figured out that on the left, where the doors were, had to be the place for ‘treating’ people.

Florist looked out of place in here. Long white hair put in a loose bun, soft comfortable white shirt and pants. Or maybe reading certain books made him have expectations he shouldn’t have.

It wasn’t really the time to tell Florist about reading Harry Potter to his sick son, though.

Or binge watching it with him later.

“Are you listening to me?”

“What?” Takeshi snapped out of his thoughts and smiled seeing the angry look. “What’s up with you today, you’re not about having me all for yourself anymore?” He tried to sound disappointed.

Florist ignored him, a small smile on his face that did not mean anything good. Takeshi took a step back seeing the syringe in his hand.

“I just wanted pills.”

“And how are you going to explain them to Isao?” Florist cocked his head. “One shot will do you better than a few days of pills. Turn around.”

Knowing he has nothing to say he did as told, hands on the wall knowing Florist will make it hurt as much as possible for his earlier comments.

He hiked his shirt up without another word, and Takeshi closed his eyes, biting his teeth together feeling the needle on his spine. Surprisingly, it did not hurt, at least not as much as he expected. Whatever was biting Florist’s ass possibly wasn’t about him after all.

“Thank you.” Takeshi turned around when he was let go and massaged his back. “How much?”

He sighed. “Just come to the party.”

Takeshi crossed his hands on his chest. “I did not expect you to buy that place.”

“Why not?” He walked to the bin to throw the needle in it.

“Well, you never did anything with your father’s club, so buying a place right by it…” Takeshi scratched his head.

The famous underground club very close to his heart. Set on fire when they were still young. When Florist was only a boy not much older than him, when the man going by the nickname Florist, known by everyone, was still his father. Florist continued the legacy of his father not only as the best drug maker there was, extending it to creating poisons and things none of them even imagined, but also taking control of the underground clubs and from one expanding to probably hundreds.

Florist shrugged, clearly wanting him to see the reason, not to hear it.

Takeshi rolled his eyes. “Well, okay. I will see you in the evening.” He moved towards the exit when he heard Florist’s question.

“Are you going to be at the cemetery next week?”

Takeshi turned around. “Of course.”

**

“So why are we exactly going to see someone who wanted to kill you?” Sousuke asked, sitting in the back of his father’s car with Rin, Isao, Kisumi and Takeshi. The driver was taking them to the underground.

Underground apparently meant to be a club. Sousuke did not really get what the excitement was about.

Takeshi sighed. “Look at them…” He faced Isao. “They don’t know the importance of those places. Like it matters who runs them.”

Surprisingly Isao smiled, looking smart in the white shirt and black tie. Sousuke could bet the silver bracelet was from Takeshi because he definitely saw him wearing one before.

“Dude, you can do whatever you want in those clubs.” Kisumi clapped his hands excited. “There are no rules.” He obviously used the knowledge, wearing a dress that Sousuke was ensured was actually a shirt and heels he really wished would end up shoved up his enemies’ butts.

“That doesn’t explain why we are going to see that bastard.”

“We’re not going to ‘see that bastard’, we’re going to his club,” Takeshi explained.

The car was big, lots of space for the five of them sitting opposite to each other. But he and Isao were sat so close their legs were pressed to each other, Isao’s arm at the top of the sit, pretty much over Takeshi’s shoulders.

Sousuke wanted to laugh and think this was his possessive strike, but he was pretty sure the smile was trying to hide the tense shoulders.

Rin poked his arm to make him stop starring at them all judgingly, so he stopped, focusing on Rin. With the stress of moving and beginning their life together, his bump visible now and making him a little uncomfortable, Sousuke was happy that Rin could relax today and have some fun.

He just wasn’t sure if this is what it was about.

And Isao obviously shared his concern, arm around Takeshi’s shoulders tightening a little, fingers lightly stroking the naked arm. It made Takeshi face him, listening to something Isao quietly said to him, shaking his head, dissing whatever he said.

Rin found it difficult to understand why everybody was acting like Takeshi was healthy. Of course he looked good, the guy always looked good, especially when he wore expensive as hell clothes, soft materials encasing his slim frame. He eyed him fascinated himself when they arrived to pick Sousuke and him up. It was impossible not to, seeing thigh high shoes, skinny jeans and a longer shirt with arms cut off, displaying Takeshi’s tattooed arms, fulfilled with silver light jewellery like thin spider webs on his neck and wrists, making contrast to the black outfit.

But he was skinny. Even after he put the thin blazer over himself later. The bony shoulders weren’t attractive. The sunken cheeks were visible, even if the make up forced you to focus on his eyes.

When Sousuke blabbered to him how fantastic his father looks after the week off, he stayed quiet. He did not want to burst the bubble of happiness, but the guy obviously had issues that Sousuke was in too much of worshipping denial to notice.

When he suggested it as subtly as possible to Sousuke later, he actually told him that he is turning into a mother hen already, telling everybody they’re too skinny. So he dropped it, frustrated.

**

“Oh my…” Takeshi could feel his jaw dropping as they walked in, the bodyguards seeing them quickly opening the barriers and letting them in first.

They stood above the massive room, stairs on the left and right an entrance to it. Above were large chandeliers, shaped in flowers, a nice touch and trademark.

Tables and chairs were made of thick black glass, and as they walked downstairs, they noticed the dance room was on the far right, under the balcony they were just on.

When Rin heard that they are going underground he thought it would be an actual underground. But this place was more luxurious than Takeshi’s clubs. There were so many people chattering happily, relaxed faces making Rin ease up.

Wall of windows was opposite to the balcony, doors opened, letting fresh air in. Normally the party probably would take place outside too, if not the rain. On the right was a wide and long bar with shiny glasses bright in the room, the lamps reflecting everywhere.

They sat by the wall on the left, by the large table. Lights deemed to near darkness and the music became louder.

The waiter quickly walked up to them and took the drink orders. They waved to the rest of the gang that showed up, filling the space. Shuffling quickly ended and chattering started, jokes thrown around.

Rin slowly began understand what the underground meant.

The drugs were being handed around like sweets, the alcohol poured down, one glass after another, no limitations. The atmosphere loosened, and apart from watching people, wondering if he recognised anybody from Takeshi’s club, he watched Takeshi getting tipsy and hanging on Isao who kept the alcoholic drinks to minimum but arm around Takeshi as tight as before.

The more drugs Takeshi took, the more he drank, the less Isao did.

Underground meant no limitations. They could act like the couple they were.

He smiled when Takeshi threw his legs over Isao’s, arms around his neck, and proceeded to kiss him on the cheek, only to have Isao catch his chin in a grasp and steal a proper kiss.

Never needing to hide did not make Rin consider how upsetting it had to be for them. But seeing the happiness oozing from them simply because they could be close and kiss…

He wondered if Takeshi would get better if they could act openly everywhere. Whether they were used to their relationship being this way or not, it had to be a burden to carry.

It was sweet, really, seeing their devotion to each other. He wondered if his relationship with Sousuke would survive everything that theirs did.

He was glad he did not need to find out.

Marriages, one from real love, one from contract, psychotic fathers manipulating them, death, losing it, finally people trying to control them even now. Whenever in public, even when seemingly obvious, there was always that barrier they tried to keep. Isao reaching to automatically hold Takeshi’s hand, quickly stopping himself last second. Takeshi’s move to circle his arms around Isao in excitement stopped, awkward trying to do something else. But forgetting that friends, boss and bodyguard, do not stand close enough to touch, and the touch does not linger. They do not stare at each other first, they don’t find each other in the room full of people easily and smile the secret twist of the lips.

It was a lot and nothing at the same time compared to the kisses in front of everybody, whispers against lips, Isao’s arm possessive around Takeshi’s shoulder. 

**

“So which one is Florist?” Rin asked curiously, disapproving of Sousuke snorting in some white powder, whatever this one was.

He understood that their world was different, that the crazy was normal, and that Sousuke had a lot on his head, never mind the simple stress. But the drugs…

Sousuke turned his head away from Akira who began laughing loudly, Takeshi side-eyeing him strongly.

“I haven’t seen him yet. I only saw some random photos, though, so I might not recognise him. He isn’t too much of a public person from what I’ve heard.”

Florist did show up finally, just in time for him as Takeshi went to the bar for more drinks. The waiters were long time gone, party right on, the night late.

Isao did notice him probably even before Rin, but he did not move, only keeping his eyes on them.

Rin was pretty sure that he would react quite differently to someone who would wish to kill him, but Takeshi turned around when Florist put his hand on his shoulder, surprise quickly turning into a smile and then a laugh, Florist not taking his eyes off him.

Rin wasn’t sure what he expected, but it’s pretty automatic to expect psychopaths to look ugly. You’re bad, you look bad. Florist looked really… kind. Taller than Takeshi, bigger, but still slim. His hair was white, not blonde, long put up in a loose bun. Soft, light features were a big contrast to Takeshi’s sharp ones, deepened with make up.

**

“So, how do you like it?” Florist leaned on the bar, arms across his chest.

“Lovely.” Takeshi grinned, enough alcohol and drugs in his system to feel free and careless.

“Have you seen the ceiling?”

“Should I have?” Takeshi asked confused.

He smiled. “I will help you with the drinks and show you. Plus I said there’s a surprise, didn’t I. There’s one more thing.”

“Cool, I love surprises.” Takeshi grabbed as much as he could with Florist taking the rest.

He tried not to laugh seeing Isao’s face so he quickly stroked his cheek with a wink before leaving with Florist who took him to the end of the room, right by the wall of windows.

“Look up.” He pointed there, so Takeshi did confused. He was too tipsy to see anything wrong with the soft touch of hands on his hips, pulling him a little to the back and later hands moving up to his shoulders making him lean back a little more.

Then he noticed, the painting on the ceiling was exactly like in Florist’s father’s club all those years ago. He grinned seeing a mosaic of silhouettes of dancers, gymnasts, performers, all created from flowers.

“Lovely?”

“Lovely.” Takeshi laughed and turned around to face him. “What about the second surprise?”

“That’s outside.” He walked to the door and Takeshi followed.

In front of him was the garden where during summer people would be able to enjoy drinks and BBQ, as well as parties in the sunshine. But further were the ruins of the old club.

It made him feel a little ill.

The building, broken walls, most of them gone, black from the fire and smoke and dirty ground casted a sad shadow over the place.

“Why won’t you at least clean it up and extend the garden area?” Takeshi asked quietly, sobering.

Florist sat on the nearest bench, checking previously if it was dry, eyes on the ruin.

“I would like you to take care of the old club.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!  
> Please leave kudos and comments xxx


	41. Storm - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When ill luck begins, it does not come in sprinkles, but in showers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Tears are for after; they just waste time before."

“If I were you I’d slap the fucker.” Iwao said eloquently to Isao, voice a little slurry.

Isao watched with a small smile on his face as Takeshi left with Florist.

“I am not going to make a psycho out of myself in front of everybody.”

He knew Takeshi’s game, he knew Florist’s. Takeski liked making him jealous, but he would never go this far – he was simply drunk and drugged, not even noticing what Florist was doing to him. Florist wanted to annoy him, so he touched Takeshi in the slightest way possible. But he was the last one to actually go any further, especially in front of everybody.

And if he took him outside, he obviously wanted to talk about the old club.

“You’re not going after them?” Akira asked surprised.

“Nope.”

It’s not that he trusted Florist at the moment. He saw them through the window and he felt like he already knew what this was about.

Takeshi wasn’t in danger.

**

Takeshi sat by Florist, eyeing him in disbelief.

“What?”

“You’ve ran this club with my father. Only you know how to bring it back to life.” 

Takeshi smiled, looking at it with sad fond. “I was an employee, not a partner. You always saw it as more than it was.”

Florist chuckled. “If you only heard how my father was talking about you.” He shook his head, playing with the ring on his finger. “The Underground would never become as famous as it was if not you. I even agree it is unfair you never had a chance to run the underground because you were not family. So… Bring it back to life. I am giving it to you.”

Takeshi blinked, not believing what he was hearing. “You’re giving it to me. Just like that?”

“I spend a long time considering what to do with it. I…” he sighed, vulnerability in his voice no one ever really heard. “I don’t know… I don’t want to touch it. Not only there’s certain expectation when it comes to it, one there isn’t when I build new ones, but you simply know it better. I would prefer for it to be part of Underground, but if you wish to separate it…” It was clearly difficult for him to talk about it, confused and wanting to do the best, but not knowing how.

Takeshi hummed thinking and stood up to make his way towards it. Florist stayed and starred in curiosity.

The club was a sad state of what was beaming with life once. It looked smaller, with certain parts brought to ground, roof gone, and a lot of walls black from smoke. Windows were mostly gone, some in shatters, a few pieces hanging.

It’s been over twenty years. Then a fairly small club compared to what was normal these days, now would simply not be enough. However most of the party took place outside.

Whether it was cold or hot. It did not matter.

It would not be wise to create a club a rival to Florist’s. And that not simply because it was important to him, to them, it had its history, and its expectations. But given to him by Florist or not, it still belonged to him. Market had its own law, but underground was beyond that.

He should join the business, not create a rival to it. That’s how it would win.

He smiled hearing the quiet steps towards him. “You’re giving it to me, yet you have taken most of the ground, knowing the club needed it the most. I feel there’s a proposition at the end of your tongue.”

“We could join the old with the new.” Florist leaned against the fence separating from the ruins. “One ground.”

“Should have contacted me before you created this one, though. We could separate the party from the luxurious dinning.”

“I didn’t know whether you will agree and I was in a rush. But we can still do that. I have to admit the disco does not really fit the place.” Florist cocked his head, mouth twisting unhappy.

“It does not. You made it too rich. A place for the ball, yes, but not for snorting in coke on the dance floor.”

Florist laughed, eyes bright. “Feel free to make it right.”

“Deal.”

It was weird shaking hands with Florist, but they did, another bond forming between them.

Could they really bring the past back?

**

“What you got yourself into this time, hmm?” Isao asked, putting his arm around Takeshi who sat by him with a smile on his face.

“You remember the very special club, the first Underground?” he asked cheekily.

“No, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Isao looked surprised, and Takeshi elbowed him in the side, making him chuckle. “What about it?”

“I am going to renew it.”

Fingers stroking his arm stopped. “He gave you the whole thing?”

“We’re going to make it one,” Takeshi explained. “Just like it was in the old days on the left.” He pointed to the ruins. “And the future on this side. High class parties, balls, the luxury. The gardens will be joined and the party will be able to take place outside once again. I think…” Takeshi’s brain was already working quickly, the planning not letting him party anymore and sobering completely. “We could even turn this into more of a hotel instead of trying to fit it in the small building again. I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Will have to think about it in the morning.” The excitement was obvious in his voice.

Isao bit his tongue.

“Wait a minute.” Nobu bent over the table. “You want to pair up in business with Florist?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you forget he wants you dead?”

“He doesn’t want me dead.”

“You know what I mean!”

“It’s just business, calm down.” Takeshi rolled his eyes. He did not get their worry at all. So what Florist poisoned him a little, it was to play. He burned his whole garden, knowing how much of an impact that had to be, considering what happened to his father.

He deserved to get poisoned.

“Could you say something?” Nobu looked at Isao, surprised he wasn’t trying to persuade him to stop the massacre before it began.

Isao sighed. “I doubt my opinion will make a difference.”

Takeshi kissed him on the cheek in gratefulness. If anybody could understand him now it was only Isao.

**

If you’d ask Rin, he was simply curious. How did Takeshi’s brain work to be so obsessed with the safety of everybody, and then teaming up with the man who nearly killed him?

Or maybe the manipulator wasn’t difficult to be manipulated as well?

There was something about Florist that was fascinating, in a way that Rin knew others saw Takeshi. He would probably be as interested in Takeshi as others if not the fact that Takeshi never meant to manipulate him – since the beginning he made it clear that he is the father who won’t have his son be with someone not worth it. So he scared him, clearing his mind. He saw him from the other side.

But since the point of manipulation was to not know about it, maybe he was dancing as Takeshi told him to, too. Who knew?

Takeshi’s relationship with Florist was something that sent shivers down his spine, unlike making him angry like others felt. Florist was so kind to Takeshi, looking at him like at something precious but with weird fascination only the biggest fans starred at their idols, his touch was so soft it was nearly non existent but constant, and Takeshi was taking it all, dancing like Florist played.

Takeshi clearly thought he held the strings, but Rin wasn’t so sure.

It wasn’t love, Takeshi obviously loved Isao and he did not look at Florist in such way. Florist and Takeshi were playing a game, and he really wasn’t sure who was winning it.

**

“You know I do not think this is a good idea,” Isao whispered, mouth soft against Takeshi’s naked shoulder, body pressed to his back.

Takeshi murmured, dozing off already as Isao left butterfly kisses on his shoulders and neck, fingertips stroking his arm sending shivers down his spine.

“And yet you’re as eager to see the club alive as me,” he whispered back.

He knew why Isao did not snap against the idea. That’s what his brain told him to do, but heart wanted their beginning to stand on its legs again.

The club in which they have met for the first time.

“But I know it’s not a good idea,” he repeated.

“It’s just business.” Takeshi turned around in his arms and faced him with a smile. “Just imagine.” His eyes closed. “In less than a year you will stand there again, like it never burned down in the first place. The stage, the dance floor, the bar, the rooms… where you saw me, where we danced, where we drank… and where we slept together for the first time. And now the place would be in our hands. Just like then, alive again.”

“Do you need it to be happy?” Isao asked quietly, touching his puffy from kisses lips.

Takeshi opened his eyes. “Don’t you?”

“I don’t need the past, I am happy with what we have now. It were difficult times.” He shrugged.

Of course it would be sweet to see it all again, and Takeshi deserved to receive this club in the first place, but the consequences weren’t worth it. This club was important for what happened and began in it, but it also reminded him of how badly they had to hide once, of the times when he thought he won’t ever be able to touch this boy in the way he touched him on the first night.

“I feel like I owe it to him…”

“You don’t owe Florist anything.”

“His father. He would… He would want us to bring it back to life.”

“You’re keep on saying this, like it was a person. It was just a club, Takeshi. It won’t bring Florist’s dad back to life.” Isao brushed his hand through Takeshi’s hair, and his thumb stroked his cheek.

Takeshi looked at him, eyes a little desperate. “I was meant to be there that night.”

“In no way that does put any burden on you.”

“Yes, but…”

“There’s no ‘but’.”

Takeshi opened his mouth to argue, but stopped with a sigh, mouth forming in an annoyed pout. Isao laughed at his expression and quickly kissed it off. 

God, he loved that idiot.

**

Rin wiped the sweat off his face and looked at the beautiful accomplishment with happiness.

Once they received their beautiful apartment Rin realised that there’s actually a lot that has to be done. Sousuke did not really share his idea, because he was used to empty houses, but Rin loved a homely feeling.

He wanted pictures on the walls, colours, fluffy carpets, and a beautiful room for their baby. Sousuke cringed at the sight of colours, so they argued until reached conclusion. The living room with the kitchen, and a bathroom, were kept simple and modern, white, silver colours, metals, glass, and lightwood. But their bedroom and child’s room was all to Rin.

Knowing Gou’s love for art, he asked her to paint the baby’s room and he was glad he did so. The wall by which the bed was meant to stand was painted in flowers, ponies, and teddy bears in pastel colours. The rest of the walls were kept in light yellow colours and a picture here and there. A little wizard. A fluffy teddy bear. Some tulips. Stars. Everything in baby’s books style.

It cheered the room up so much.

Rin added white shelves, and bookcases, and a really thick carpet. The bed and other necessary stuff were meant to be bought with Sousuke. And he had to remember about an armchair.

In case of their bedroom he had to make sure that Sousuke would find it good to sleep in as well. Since Sousuke did not care about much but a massive bed and TV he bought that first. He painted the room in calm colours, reminding him a lot of how Sousuke’s room looked in Yamazaki’s mansion, but the difference were the silver frames with pictures. Currently mostly theirs and of beautiful places they visited, plus art they liked, and soon to be switched to the pictures of their baby.

He wanted to take what Sousuke had and make it theirs, show him how a family home looks like. Rin did not want their child to have a life like Sousuke.

**

Rin sighed in annoyance, sitting alone on the sofa in the living room. He was meant to share this apartment with Sousuke, but so far he felt like living alone in it.

This wasn’t how he imagined it.

He understood that Sousuke had a lot on his head, he excused him often, but he was away yet again. Sousuke did not even tell why, hiding behind “I can’t”.

Bored he opened the laptop and checked his email. He was surprised to see something from an address he did not recognise but he opened the attachment after reading the quick note “you’re welcome.”

He could feel his heart stopping beating as he recognised Sousuke on the picture.

Sousuke kissing the girl from their trip on the yacht. The one who wanted to marry in the family.

Akemi.

**

With annoyance Isao turned the car around and drove quickly back to Takeshi’s place, realising he did not take important documents he needed for the presentation today. Good job, he thought. Not often he needed to do something important for himself, and here was the crucial day and he did not even take the papers.

He walked inside the apartment and reached for them left on the coffee table. It was then when he heard coughing, so worried he made his way upstairs.

The bathroom was a little open, enough to see Takeshi bent over the toilet, fingers in his throat. He stopped, flushed the toilet, wiped the tears that escaped his eyes and sat shaking on the cold floor trying to calm down his breathing.

Isao closed his eyes for a moment.

He should have known all of this was too beautiful to be real.

His hand pushed the door open and Takeshi’s head snapped up from where he hid it in his hands, expression from exhausted quickly changing into shocked and then devastated, cheeks burning in shame.

Isao sat by him without a word.

“Mom is getting very annoyed that we still have not visited her with the kids.”

Takeshi blinked. “You just caught me making myself sick and this is what you have to say.”

“She’s very annoyed thought,” he murmured, eyes on the door.

Takeshi pressed his head to his bent knees. “We can’t leave again.”

“We have to.”

“We…”

“I am not going to let you kill yourself, you understand?” he snapped.

Takeshi rolled his eyes at the exaggeration. “I will stop…” he whispered.

“If you can, why haven’t you already?” Isao did not get annoyed easily, but he knew how innocent odd stuff began and how they ended. Takeshi, no one, hurt themselves for nothing. And this was a form of punishment and part of his illness. He stopped starving to begin making himself sick, which allowed him to look a little better but only for the short time and while he was ruining himself inside. This was as dangerous.

“You’re planning to leave every time you find out how fucked up I am?” Takeshi laughed, voice desperate. “It’s nothing life endangering. We should focus on our sons instead.”

Isao blinked, a little taken aback. “Our sons?”

“Kisumi doesn’t want to belong to Yakuza, but has no guts to say it in my face. He has a boyfriend no one knows shit about, but somehow since they’re together he disses Sousuke and everybody else, only showing up when there’s a party at which people are too drunk to ask him questions. Asked, he says nothing. Sousuke on the other hand continues on being a pitch perfect son overly too concerned about everybody’s happiness but his own. At the same time he drugs himself like mad and you know that when he does it there’s something wrong.”

It wasn’t anything new to Isao to hear about Kisumi and how much he did not want to belong. While part of him wanted to smack him because even if he was not fit to be a bodyguard, and it was obvious he was not, with Sousuke fit more to be Kisumi’s than the other way around, he could try to do anything else or at least not run away from responsibilities. On the other hand he himself never wanted to be a bodyguard, and if it would not turn out that Takeshi was the one he was meant to shield, he’d probably leave Japan to study somewhere far away, where no one would find him.

That was his plan at least, before he found out that the “brat he has to risk his life for” is no one else but the one he fallen in love with a couple of months earlier.

“I thought he would want to stay for Sousuke at least.”

Takeshi shook his head and sighed. “I told Sousuke to check what’s going on.”

“Good. I hope the brat did not get himself in trouble.”

“I’m sure it’s about his boyfriend. Kisumi reminds me of us a little.” Takeshi lips formed in a small smile.

“You took care of the business without a question, I did not complain once I found out about you either.”

“We hid the same. I am sure Kisumi would not complain if his boyfriend would be the one, either.”

“That’s why I thought he will be here for Sousuke.”

“Old times. And, well, you have to admit it would be a little creepy if our sons would get it on.” He laughed quietly.

“Our sons did get it on.”

“I mean… while we were getting it on.”

Isao snorted. “You know Kisumi told me that one of the reasons they stopped was because they weren’t into incest.”

“Wha…” Realisation showed up on Takeshi’s face and he started laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Didn’t tell him it was more creepy to have sons that reminded us of each other.”

“You took so much care of Sousuke I am not that surprised he is just like you, but why Kisumi took after me I have no idea,” Takeshi admitted. “But,” he grinned,” luckily only in the good stuff.” He bumped in Isao’s shoulder cheekily.

“Unlike Sousuke.”

Takeshi looked down, eyes saddening. “I need to know what’s causing it.”

“First you need to take care of yourself.” Isao grasped his arm to help him stand and pushed towards the bedroom.

“Uh, can I clean my teeth first, goodness…” Takeshi cringed but luckily Isao let him go, warning he will wait outside.

**

Sousuke opened the door to his apartment and threw the bag on the floor, rolling his tired shoulders. He was surprised to find it empty, no Rin in sight.

That was when he noticed the piece of paper and a picture on top of it.

“We’re done.” It read, shaking him. He looked at the picture of him and Akemi kissing in shock.

‘What the fuck,’ he whispered to himself in disbelief.

Never in his life he kissed that girl. It had to be a damn good photoshop.

Sousuke sat on the leather sofa they chose for their new home and closed his eyes. He should be calling Rin like mad now, and he normally would, but…

Maybe this was for the better.

This will hurt less.

Better to lose and have someone to blame, have love turned into hate, than lose someone because life wasn’t fucking fair.

This was Rin hating him and blaming everything on his cheating ass versus waiting for him to die and Sousuke doing it slowly, while Rin cried and worried.

The cancer was back.

And he wasn’t planning to tell anyone.

Barely surviving the first time, and remembering the pain he had to go through did not make him want to go through it again. He had all the reasons to, especially the baby, but not in his situation. With the cancer being worse than before, with the small chance of surviving it was better for him to spend a few months living the life to the fullest. Doing chemotherapy and living a little bit longer but stuck to the hospital bed, worrying everybody, was pointless.

He was not going to survive until the baby’s birth anyway.

This was why he was so desperate in ensuring everybody was happy. Now that his dad felt so much better he did not want to ruin it for him. Kisumi had a boyfriend, and maybe he was pulling him away from Yakuza, but at least it seemed he was happy.

He still had time to make sure so.

If they all would be in a good place when he would die then they would quickly move on.

He had no idea what to do with Rin, apart from obviously ensuring that he would have money and protection, but maybe it was just cleared up for him. He really preferred Rin to hate him than cry over him.

Maybe he was crying now, poor emotional Rin, but he would quickly turn tears into hate and forget. Dying would make him cry for such a long time it was cruel.

He just had to beg him in the letter to let Takeshi and Isao see the baby. He knew how important it would be for Takeshi to not lose the connection with his first and only grandchild. Rin needed help too. He was so young, he was meant to have Sousuke’s support, and he was leaving him alone…

When the doctor called him to come back to the hospital because they need to talk about his blood results, those he had to do every few months to see if the cancer was back, he already knew what to expect.

The first time he was sick he was too frightened by his father and as usual thinking it was nothing that he ended up staying quiet about feeling ill. One day he collapsed and when he woke up he was already attached to the IV, chemo running through his veins.

He could remember Takeshi and Isao holding him up, first so he would not end up being sick all over himself, then helping him walk again, thin and shaken after all the medicine.

He could remember his father trying to act like everything was completely fine, repeating over and over again how soon everything will be over, making stupid jokes about his hair and saying how he will buy him the best shawls, and he can shave as well. He did not, but he did wear shawls with him.

Sousuke even made a Harry Potter fan out of him.

Seeing his father so ensured and nice to him for a change made him feel better.

Then he was too ill to notice that Takeshi was losing weight as quickly as him, and Isao’s worried looks, not only at him but also his father.

But when they were alone, and his condition worsened, he could remember his father’s hold on his hand tightening, him pressing his forehead to his hand, his cheeks wet from tears.

It looked like he was praying. His father, a man only believing in power.

He never saw his father cry. He felt it then for the first time.

Sousuke thought he could remember Isao telling Takeshi to get a grip, that everything was going to be fine, that Sousuke needed him to be strong, but he wasn’t sure what was real and what was his imagination anymore.

He just knew that he did not want them to go through this again.

He was an adult. He was eighteen. The doctor was told to keep quiet about it, and he was going to.

Sousuke was planning to leave once he would feel it was time.

Maybe make them hate him too, so they would not miss him.

It was surprising to him how NOT upset he was about it. It was a cold calculation worth of his father.

Maybe that was the wrong choice of words, but when he heard he was sick, his first thoughts were how to keep his family safe instead of self pitying, crying over himself. What was the point?

It hurt he would not be there to see his child, God, it hurt so much, and now that Takeshi and Isao were so close, who knows maybe they would get married soon, and he would miss their wedding… And Rin will find someone else… His child won’t ever know who he was…

But it was them who would truly hurt. He was hurt now, but he was going to die soon.

They will live for many more years. They would hurt for many more years if he would allow it.

His pain was nothing in comparison.

He was going to die soon.

And when everything was ending, you had to focus on those who were to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments!
> 
> Since the chapter reached 8.000 words, I decided to split it into two. If you're going to kudo and comment quickly then I might add the second part very soon ;)


	42. Storm - Part 2

“Why are we going to that trashy place?” Isao sighed, Takeshi tugging him by the sleeve of his shirt.

“Not that trashy. Fantastic for young people who wish to show their talent and get scouted.” Takeshi grinned.

It was a late night and they were going to one of the clubs not really visited by the elite. Isao knew that Takeshi often went to clubs none of them would ever step in, to scout youngsters, or to simply watch the young talents. Isao knew as much about entertainment as Takeshi told him, so not that much, and he was far from being an expert.

He liked watching Takeshi, and that was about it. He gave him enough entertainment.

He did not want to criticise, after all he laughed at his idea of scouting Akira who was a homeless little thief, only to have Takeshi put so much heart into his training that he became one of the elite.

Isao learned that being a snob was a stupid idea.

They walked in, room full of people that it was difficult to move, but finally they found place at the side, but still pretty far away from the stage.

Thinking Takeshi just found some talent, not very interested Isao hugged him from behind and pressed his body to his back, leaving a kiss behind his ear, very subtly suggesting they could be doing something much more fun now instead. But Takeshi did not budge, instead continued looking at the stage.

And then the person he was waiting for walked in.

Isao straightened up recognising Kisumi.

Kisumi, his little Kisumi, in revealing clothing and lots of glitter on, standing in front of the audience in high heels, with a bright smile on his face, people chanting his name.

And it reminded him so much of Takeshi, the first night he have met him, standing on stage, but face covered with a mask. And happy, so happy, and people waiting for him excited because they knew he was going to be the heart behind their fun.

And the trouble that came with it, with sleazy guys not knowing “no” means “no”, with Takeshi’s father screaming at him until he cried, his beaten face and Florist’s father taking care of the bruises, the mask covering as much as possible.

The nightmares, Takeshi’s dropping self-esteem, self-hatred, fighting by continuing on doing what he loved but at the same time making himself choke, or plain starving himself, or hurting any other way he could manage.

Drugging, drinking until unconsciousness.

All those years later still dealing with so many problems, easily triggered.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he felt a kiss on his cheek, hands tightening on his wrapped arms around Takeshi’s waist.

“He’s amazing, isn’t he?” Takeshi said in his ear, warm breath tickling his neck.

He was. He sang beautifully and he was so fucking happy, he could not remember the last time he saw his son this free.

“Come with me.”

**

“You have to stop.” Takeshi sat on the wooden table in the park and looked at Isao’s sour face. It was a chilly night, the wind brushing their hair whichever way it wished.

“Stop what?” Isao stood in front of him, hands in his pockets.

“He acts like he does not care what you think, but you’re hurting him. He needs your acceptance. And accepting me but not him not only confuses him but really screws him up.”

“You know I accept him the way he is.”

“I do, but he does not.”

“I just want him to be safe,” Isao whispered, devastated. “I saw what you went through for being like he is, so…”

“I was hurt because I had a psycho father, and Kisumi does not.” Takeshi smiled a little, seeing Isao struggling.

It was maddening in a way, how they wanted to prove to be so much better than their fathers, but deep inside the things they were taught sometimes proved stronger. They were free adults and yet still living in the shadows of their fathers and their lessons. Sometimes the demons won.

Isao sat by his legs on the bench, so Takeshi poked his shoulder.

“I’m your bodyguard, I can keep you safe. I barely see Kisumi, so I am worried…”

“I know, but he is a big boy, you know. And if you will start acting trustworthy then so he will open more to you.”

They heard footsteps and lifted their heads to see Kisumi standing in front of them, shocked expression on his face. The glitter was still visible on his face but he put his usual clothes on, the stage outfit gone.

“D…dad?”

Isao starred at him, words gone.

“Let me take you both home, so you could talk.” Takeshi jumped off the bench and hurried them up.

**

Kisumi curled up on the sofa in Takeshi’s living room, sitting opposite to his father. Takeshi left to the kitchen to give them some space, but he actually preferred if he were there with them.

It was confusing, really. He always feared Takeshi because the guy was terrifying in his cold attitude to everything, including his own son. He was ordering people to manipulate, use and kill others so easily that no one wanted to get on his bad side.

But since he learned a little bit more about him, he trusted him more than his father. Maybe trust wasn’t the right word, but if anybody then Takeshi understood him.

He wished he could go to him and ask for dressing up tips like the most normal thing in the world. Others joked about Takeshi’s style but he knew how clever the guy was.

It wasn’t a dress up. It was reading people’s minds, it was seducing them, it was manipulating with your looks and words, dressing just the way you knew people will have to bite their lips and do exactly what you will wish them to.

There was so much hard work put into something people called a stupid dress up.

He always thought his dad was just an ass when it came to dressing up, but he never bothered him too much, only dropping a comment once in awhile. When he discovered how Isao and Takeshi dressed up before and how Takeshi is known for it so it wasn’t just a “piss off your parents” thing, he understood that something bothered Isao for a reason.

No one is perfect, he would never hate his father for it. But he did not feel like telling him about what he was choosing to do over Yakuza.

He could not really go to Takeshi with it either.

“Why you haven’t said anything?” Isao asked quietly.

“You would hate me.”

“I would never hate you, no matter what you would choose to do with your life.” Isao’s voice was strong. “Look, I know I wasn’t the easiest to talk to, but this is because I am worried for you. I know the trouble that comes with what you do…”

“Right, because belonging to Yakuza is so safe, dad.”

“Uh, snap,” Takeshi, standing in the kitchen, snorted in his drink.

“You either come here and join the conversation or be quiet there, would you.” Isao looked at Takeshi.

“I can, but you know I am on your son’s side, so I did not want you to feel attacked,” Takeshi shrugged and sat by Isao on the sofa, after placing three cups of tea on the coffee table.

“You are?” Kisumi asked surprised.

“Why are you shocked?” Takeshi smiled.

“But… Yakuza…”

“I recruit people for Yakuza and I know who fits the standards and who does not. You’re obviously not fit to be a bodyguard of Sousuke. I have no issues with you pursuing a career in entertainment if this is what you wish to do. It would be stupid of me to force you to keep my son safe when you do not want to do so. I might as well not find him a bodyguard at all.”

Kisumi looked down, a little ashamed. “You know Sousuke is dear to me. It isn’t that I do not care about him. I care about him a lot. But me as a gangster, it’s just… And I am the least fit person to be a bodyguard. I would only put him in more danger.”

“I am going to accept your refusal to belong, but you have to understand that you always will in one way or another. Everybody knows you, everybody knows who your father is, and what your job at Yakuza was meant to be. You have to keep on learning to at least make sure you are going to be safe, because you will always be in danger.”

Kisumi nodded quickly. “I don’t want to act like I have nothing to do with Yakuza. If you will find me useful to do something then I am happy to do so. Just not… being a shield.”

He loved these people, they were his life. He did not want to act like he never knew them, and he wanted to work for them. He just hoped to have his talent recognised, seen as useful, instead of being forced into being someone he could not possibly be. And in such important job as being someone’s bodyguard you had to be dedicated to it.

This was about Sousuke’s life.

“So you want to be recruited, just not as a bodyguard.” Isao said quietly.

“I did not know it was possible, but if it is…” Kisumi whispered.

“Of course it is.” Takeshi made himself more comfortable, massive mug in his hands. “You just need to be honest with me from now on so I will be able to figure out how to make you useful for us.”

Kisumi nodded again, arms around a fluffy pillow. “You’re not mad?” He asked his dad.

“I did not want to be a bodyguard either, kid. I am not your grandfather who can’t even imagine why you would not want to turn your life into becoming a human shield for someone whose life is apparently more important than yours.”

“Ow.” Takeshi put his hand on his heart. “I’m wounded.”

“I was.” Isao side-eyed him.

“Oh, let me guess, then you found out he is the one you are meant to shield so you suddenly did not mind this much?” Kisumi asked cheekily, trying not to laugh at how quickly his father put his hand on Takeshi’s knee to make sure he knows he does not regret it, even though they were only joking.

Isao’s cheeks reddened and Takeshi chuckled.

“He can’t take care of himself, so someone has to.” Isao responded which got him a kick from Takeshi. “Look.” Isao moved to sit by Kisumi. “I really accept your choices. I just want you to promise me you’re going to be safe and come to me when you will encounter problems, okay?”

Kisumi nodded, cheek on the pillow in his arms.

Takeshi smiled when Isao hugged Kisumi tightly, kissing the top of his head. The boy let out a quiet sniffing noise, the stress of previous weeks, months, maybe years finally lifting off his shoulders.

“You’re always going to be my precious baby, no matter how old, and no matter whether shooting or singing, remember that.”

How stupid they were, Takeshi thought. All you had to do was talk with your child. See. Check on them. And yet both he and Isao screwed up whenever they could.

At least they knew how to make it better.

Now that the Shigino paradise was all well it was time for his son.

His son who needed a bodyguard, first of all, but that could wait. He was not planning to hand his title to the boy any time soon.

But there was something wrong going on and he needed to find out what.

As quickly as possible.

**

When Kisumi prepared for the night out last night he definitely did not expect to end up in Yamazaki’s apartment for the night, and eat breakfast with him and his dad in the morning.

But here he was, eating pancakes his dad prepared, happy and careless finally having nothing to hide from them.

And he learned new things.

Takeshi did not speak until he was given a mug of coffee. Literally. They went to sleep late at night, talking until it nearly became bright, but he and his dad just seemed a little tired, just a little off. Takeshi on the other hand was like a zombie who only opened his eyes after his father poured coffee down his throat.

It was hilarious.

“I need to bring the documents to work today or they will have my head.” Isao said once Takeshi started contacting.

“Why you haven’t… Oh.” Takeshi hid his face behind his massive mug in his hands.

Isao looked at him for a moment and then said quietly, “You’re going to be okay?”

“Go, or you’re going to be late.” Takeshi softly bumped into his shoulder, smile brightening his pretty face, and he stood up to take their plates and put them in the sink.

Kisumi took his phone out to check if anyone texted him and he was glad he did so when Isao came back from upstairs where he got ready, and dressed smartly walked up to Takeshi to kiss him on the cheek and whisper something in his ear. Kisumi pretended he received a text message worth a grin, shaking his head when Takeshi faced Isao and got kissed on the lips.

They were both so ridiculously happy, looking young and fresh like they just fallen in love.

Nothing could break them apart, their love was too strong.

The only thing that was missing was a cheesy song in the background, Kisumi thought. They were already like a perfect TV Show family, weren’t they? Eating breakfast together in the morning, the daddy of the house leaving for work after kissing the mom on the cheek. Kisumi only missed the presence of his brother Sousuke.

He totally should start calling him that already. Big brother Sousuke. He will have so much fun with it.

He snorted in his drink, but quickly stopped, showing them his phone when they looked at him confused, excusing it was something he received that made him laugh out of nowhere.

“I can’t believe Sousuke and me were right…” Kisumi murmured.

Takeshi closed the door after Isao and cocked his eyebrow in question.

“We had this game of watching you two and guessing whether there was something or not between you,” Kisumi explained.

Takeshi shook his head and sat opposite to him, opening his laptop. “I am glad neither of you mind,” he admitted.

“Why would we?” Kisumi asked surprised.

A shrug. “Sousuke’s mom is alive after all. And you only found out about the contract between your parents.”

“I always knew they weren’t in love, but I would never guess they were actually on contract until a few months ago,” he said sincerely. “If he’s happy with you then I am happy. As for Sousuke… He just pretends his mom is still gone. It’s easier.”

Takeshi nodded in understanding. He opened his mouth to say something, but they heard knocking so surprised he stood up and went to open the door, joking to Kisumi that his father probably forgot something again.

Kisumi laughed. He did not remember the last time he was so happily free, he never expected to spend such sweet time with his dad and Takeshi, watching them flirting shamelessly with each other eating breakfast, finally not hiding and pretending they’re only friends.

What a pain in the ass that had to be.

For a completely screwed up family they somehow still managed to act like a normal one sometimes. He loved it. He needed it.

“Grandad?” Kisumi asked surprised seeing the man walking in. He did not seem too happy to see him but he quickly smiled.

“Kisumi. You would not mind leaving us so we could talk alone, do you?”

Kisumi shook his head and looked at Takeshi standing in front of the man, weirdly…

Frightened?

“Kisumi.” His grandfather repeated, hurrying him up.

Takeshi moved and his mouth formed into a thin smile, letting him know it was okay.

Kisumi wasn’t so sure, seeing how much he tensed, a few minutes ago relaxed and truly smiley in Isao’s arms. But he had nothing to say so he stood up and walked outside, leaving them frozen in one place.

**

Kisumi quickly took his phone out and called his dad, bad feeling sending shivers down his spine. He had no idea whether they made up or not, but seeing Takeshi’s reaction to his granddad it did not seem so.

Goddamnit, he shouldn’t have walked out. But what could he do?

What if granddad will hurt Takeshi again?

“Kisumi?” He heard on the other side.

“Dad! Can you come back now?” He stood in the reception downstairs, the lift quickly took him down here.

“What? What’s wrong?” Isao asked surprised.

“Did granddad and Takeshi made up?” he asked quickly.

“Kisumi, what the hell is going?”

He shouldn’t have left. He already knew.

“Grandad just came over and told me to leave, and…”

There was a quick intake of breath, a noise of the car quickly taking a turn. “Stay there.”

**

If you would ask Isao how he would describe his worst nightmare, this was it.

He never really dreamed. Known for putting his head to the pillow and falling asleep, the only thing, or rather a person who kept him awake during the night was Takeshi who moved so much that Isao finally found a way to make him sleep peacefully.

All it took was keeping him in his arms.

Takeshi had nightmares, unlike him.

He never wanted to believe that his father would go far in ensuring he and Takeshi would not become an item. And now he was paying for it.

Or rather, Takeshi was, once again.

They ran to the apartment with Kisumi, and seeing it open have made their blood run cold because it meant the man already left. And if Takeshi wasn’t there to close the door…

“Takeshi?!” Isao shouted, begging in his mind that Takeshi will just walk down confused why they’re here at all.

And Isao would kiss him happily, and go back to work, pretending not once it crossed his mind that his father could come over the moment he left to hurt him.

They stopped abruptly seeing the blood on the floor. Isao walked past it feeling his heart beating faster and faster, the blood spots taking him upstairs, to the bedroom, to the bathroom…

“No…”

More blood on the floor, and the bath filled with water now coloured red, and Takeshi drowned in it, not moving, body lifeless like a puppet let go off its strings. 

He and Kisumi threw themselves at him to take him out as quickly as possible, Kisumi choking on his tears seeing the open wounds all over Takeshi’s face, throat, shoulders, hands, whole body, the black material of his robe slashed open in places, legs bloody.

He never saw his father this terrified.

“Call the ambulance,” Isao said, voice shaking, holding Takeshi so carefully like he could break in his arms, the blood soaking Isao’s white shirt red, his hands already checking if Takeshi’s heart is beating, quickly proceeding to press them against his chest, and blow air in his lungs, feeling no response.

Kisumi did, voice stuttering from stress, and then grabbed towels that were nearest to him and wrapped Takeshi’s legs in them, wherever he could reach, to stop the bleeding.

He breathed out in relief when Takeshi coughed up the water and blood, Isao turned him on the side, and paled even more when unconscious Takeshi let out a painful gasp, body arching in pain.

“Takeshi? Takeshi, can you hear me?” There was so much love in his voice, so much begging.

He did not respond, but at least kept breathing while Isao helped Kisumi stop the bleeding.

Isao pressed a small towel to Takeshi’s face, looking at him, not believing it.

He was just kissing his soft skin. Takeshi was just smiling, his cheeky childish smile and bright eyes, and he was so happy and calm and relaxed… He always looked so pretty and young in the morning like he never faced any troubles. Everything was so perfect, they were so happy, and... 

And the moment Isao left his father took a knife and sliced Takeshi's face open. His cheeks. His lips. His forehead.

His whole body.

Deep enough to hurt, not to kill.

Deep enough to bruise, not to kill.

Now he was unrecognisable in his stillness, paleness, covered in painful wounds, and blood, so lifeless in his arms...

“Jesus…”

Isao lifted his head hearing the gasp, but the doctor was already on his knees by them, taking Takeshi from his arms.

He did not even know he held him so tight.

He knew Takeshi was afraid.

He knew everybody expected him to do something.

It was his job to keep him safe.

And he did nothing and left him knowing that his father will strike one day.

But he chose denial over his safety.

This was his fault.

He failed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since you all commented so much and gave kudos, here is the second part :D


	43. Dr. Frankestein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was there for you  
> In your darkest times  
> I was there for you  
> In your darkest nights
> 
> But I wonder where were you  
> When I was at my worst  
> Down on my knees  
> And you said you had my back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to @amalasdraws because she's an amazing artist who continues on making me get emotional over her Invincible fanarts.  
> Check her out, her tumblr is amalasdraws.tumblr.com she is drawing for other fandoms too! :D

It was dark when Takeshi made his way to his car and drove to the old Underground. Hood low on his face, hands encased in black gloves, thigh high shoes… not a chance to see even the smallest part of his skin. It wasn’t difficult to turn into a shadow of the night. He knew how to hide. He knew how to disappear.

But morphine only worked for a few hours.

Once he did not feel like he was going to faint from pain caused by the smallest move, once it became dark, he could live again.

At least a little.

Alone.

**

He walked around the ruins.

It would be so much easier to run what was left of the building to the ground. Build something new, modern, big… But this wasn’t about money. This was about bringing the past back.

Some bruises could be healed.

He managed to get the old building plan, he had to employ builders who would renew it. Then he could instruct Florist what to do with it later and let him open it.

To think only a few weeks ago he was telling Isao that they would open it together, so happy seeing it again. They have met here. They were hiding here. They danced, drank, forgotten themselves completely.

Isao wasn’t here anymore, but Florist was.

Florist who watched his father burn in here, who knew his father would want the club alive again. What happened to Takeshi shouldn’t matter in this case. It was important to do it for Florist’s father.

“So it’s here you’re hiding these days.”

Takeshi jumped startled, hissing from pain as he moved too quickly. He turned around to face Florist, standing quite a few steps behind him. Stupidly pretty in his delicate pale features, not a scratch on his face, encased in a soft white cotton shirt.

He expected him to smirk seeing him all covered, laugh at what became of him, but he was completely expressionless.

“I’ve got old plans of the building. I need to contact a few people and we can start the job.” Takeshi responded, not wanting for the conversation to quickly slip into the topic everybody had on their mind lately.

He tensed when Florist walked up to him but they both looked at the ruins in certain melancholy. “So you’re renewing it, not building anything new,” Florist said quietly.

“That’s the plan.”

“Thank you.”

Takeshi shook his head a little, not wanting to hurt, not wanting the hood to fall off his face. It was big and wide, covering his face completely, but what if…

“How are you?”

“Fine,” he answered quickly. Automatically.

Now Florist was watching him, so he stubbornly did not meet his eye.

“God, it’s bothering me so much…” Florist sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Why you did not stop him?”

Takeshi smiled to himself. At least he actually asked. “I knew it was going to happen.”

“That does not answer my question.”

“Because he was my boyfriend’s father.”

“Where’s your boyfriend now?”

It stung more than the bruises. “Even if I would fight I probably had no chance. He’s a trained bodyguard and a boxer.”

They were quiet for a moment, Florist clearly deciding not to argue.

Takeshi did not need to hear that he was an idiot. He knew he was. But he knew this was going to happen, he accepted it, he allowed it. He did not want to lose Isao. He knew that one day he would pay for loving him.

It was his fault he did not consider that Isao would leave the second he would become ugly.

“How badly does it hurt?”

So much that even though he was on morphine he felt like crying. With each move it was like every single wound was opening again. Like he was slashing his skin open again and again.

He shrugged.

“Are you in a rush?” Florist asked.

Takeshi looked at his confused. “Huh?”

“May I invite you over to my place?”

“The morphine will wear off soon. I can’t function without it.”

“I will give you morphine at home.”

Takeshi starred for a while without a word but finally nodded.

**

The journey to Florist’s was longer than to his house. The pain began, nearly blinding him, so he bit his teeth together hoping no pained sound would escape his throat.

It was difficult to drive but he finally arrived at the destination, and he breathed out in relief, hands shaking on the wheel. He did not have strength to snap at Florist, and instead let him help him get out of the car, hold him up until they reached Florist’s room.

He sat on the sofa shaking, pressing his hand to his eyes.

He did not even protest when Florist took his coat off and pushed up his sleeve to have a vein to inject, morphine quickly going through his system.

His vision finally cleared, red gashes on his arm bright in the deemed room. He pulled his sleeve down.

Florist was watching so carefully that he kept his head down. His face was the worst.

“So it is true he really cut you wherever he could.”

“I’ve heard there were celebrations all over the place,” Takeshi joked, tired.

Florist shook his head. “The whole underground was actually pretty terrified. Betrayal in family always shakes everybody.”

“We’re not family.”

“You’re Yakuza. And he’s your boyfriend’s father.”

“Everybody knew he hated me.”

Takeshi cringed when Florist reached for his chin, but he let him lift his face.

“What about your eye?”

Side of his face, the eye in particular, was still covered with a bandage.

“He cut from the forehead, through nose, eyelid, cheek, and throat. Some gashes were deeper so they’re still covered.”

Florist sighed, letting go.

“What?”

“You’re talking about someone torturing you like about weather. It’s disturbing.” Florist stood up cringing and went to his desk, filled with books as usual.

If Takeshi could laugh, he would.

He just wanted to die.

“I am not going to have you kill yourself knowing I could do something.”

Takeshi blinked surprised and looked at Florist who came back to him and sat by comfortably.

“Huh?”

“When you decided to lock yourself away, I tried to create stuff that would help you. I will heal you as much as possible, hopefully completely. But it will take time.”

Takeshi smiled, but quickly turned his face away. When it is covered in deep gashes, you only make everything worse trying to smile.

He could remember the first time he looked in the mirror. He covered it and did not plan to uncover anytime soon.

“Don’t kid yourself. There’s no way those are going to disappear.” He was even slowly getting used to the fact. “You’re just going to waste your time.”

When he was not looking in the mirror and covered himself, it did not even bother him this much.

“Don’t insult me.”

“Have you seen how I look?”

Florist bent to get closer to him. “I already saw you at the hospital so I would know what I will need to deal with. Well, just about since you were mostly covered.”

“What? When?” he asked surprised.

“When you were unconscious. I’ve increased the drugs so you could wake up without feeling so much pain. I never understood doctors’ obsession with being so careful with the dozes. Sometimes that’s all it takes, to just increase it.” He sighed, watching Takeshi with kind interest.

It was actually refreshing after the constant mix of terrified and sorry looks.

Takeshi snorted, making Florist raise his eyebrows in question.

“That morning he did it… I was just starting to go through emails on my laptop. There was something from the man who scouted me all those years ago…”

“Scouted?”

“You know, modelling.”

“Oh, right, I remember.”

Sure he did, Takeshi thought. It was both him and Florist who were approached. The only difference was that he went for it, and Florist did not.

“I checked that email once I came back home from the hospital. He asked me if I would do a photoshoot, commented how he’s glad I’m back in touch with fashion and modelling look.”

“I’m sorry.”

Takeshi laughed quietly, looking into the fire in the fireplace. “It’s embarrassing I care so much about how I look, isn’t?”

It was stupid but true. His looks were important to him because they let him accomplish things. Besides, looking good was the only thing that sort of kept his self esteem high enough in the worst moments. But he would not let everything keep him hidden away if not the fact that it hurt. The bruises, the betrayal, Isao just disappearing. In the morning he had everything, love, happiness, looks and money. Now he had pain and humiliation and living in the shadows.

He would even use the nightlife to his advantage, work, kill, steal in the night. That was when his face was covered anyway. But it hurt to even stand.

“Takeshi… This isn’t a scratch. You were tortured, someone took a knife and cut your body open wherever possible. It is a miracle you survived since he ensured to cut your veins open and then drown you. I knew you were going to pull through, but only because it was you. I would not bet on anybody else.”

“Such a sweet talker.” Takeshi responded jokingly, laughing seeing Florist’s cheeks blushing. The man seriously never grew out of his awkward teenager’s phase. “I could get used to living as a shadow, but this pain…”

“Hiding would kill you.”

He did not say that he would not mind. Theoretically Sousuke was such a clever boy he probably would not have a problem with taking his space and other guys would help him.

But who knows, he hasn’t seen his son either.

“Come on, let’s start with it.” Florist stood up.

**

Kisumi sat on the stairs to the basement, watching his father furiously punching the boxing bag, sweat running down his face.

First he was drinking himself unconscious, now he was boxing until he could not breath.

And grandfather was gone.

Kisumi could not visit Takeshi knowing it was his fault. If he hadn’t walked out that day, Takeshi would be healthy.

Seeing pictures on TV of him all covered so not even a finger was visible, on a wheelchair, Iwao and Akira helping him stand up so he could sit inside the car driven by Nobu, Kin right by him, arm around his curled up form, bodyguards Kisumi could remember from the biggest events around the car…

Takeshi was so thin and weak, not caring how he was representing himself suggesting how badly he had to feel, it seemed he would easily break if not all of them around him. So different to the man he knew, strong standing straight and even thin seemingly unbreakable, refusing bodyguards and dealing with everything mostly on his own.

But then, his father was always by his side. Without him, the force behind Takeshi’s strength was gone.

It shattered Kisumi’s heart.

That morning they were so happy and cheerful…

He knew Takeshi was afraid, he knew deep inside that he was smiling to just make him go out so he won’t see what was meant to happen, what he was expecting…

Takeshi knew what was coming.

Kisumi just did not understand why he let it happen.

His father and him went to the hospital, watched the terrified faces of their friends as they told them what happened.

And then they saw Takeshi, bandages nearly everywhere, him pale and blue from bruises, lifeless in the white covers.

Isao bit his teeth together and stayed, not saying a word.

But when Takeshi woke up and let out a cry of pain, body bending and shaking until they had to put him to sleep, realising it was too early…

Isao left and never showed up again. Kisumi never saw him this terrified.

Kisumi found him asleep on the sofa, bottle of vodka empty by his side. He drank until a few days later Nobu came and shouted at him to get a grip because he had no right to self pity when Takeshi was being kept in a coma because of the excruciating pain.

He stopped drinking, but did not show up at the hospital.

Kisumi understood him. He couldn’t look into Takeshi’s eyes. Their family did it to Takeshi. Isao’s father. His grandfather. Takeshi’s second half and his son.

After a night where he helped them fix their relationship.

The media didn’t know what happened since no one gave a comment but they did notice the fact that Isao, his bodyguard, disappeared. So adding one to one… they concluded he had to attack Takeshi.

His father’s face seeing the accusations…

The worst was when he said they’re right. It was his job to keep him safe, he knew he was in danger, and he did nothing. He let it happen.

But in Kisumi’s opinion he was only making it worse. Takeshi completely disappeared from life. He obviously needed help. Kisumi could imagine in how much pain he had to be, and dealing with how he looked… He needed Isao to hold him together but his father was too busy hating himself instead.

“Dad.”

No response, more hitting.

“DAD!”

Isao turned around, hand wiping the sweat off his face. “What?”

“He needs you, dad.”

Isao shook his head and started boxing again.

**

“I am going to put you to sleep.”

Takeshi lay down on the medical bed in Florist’s room. He hated the bright white light shining on his uncovered face. But Florist could not help him without seeing him.

“It’s going to hurt that much?”

“I need to take the stitches out and give you different ones, plus inject medication in your face. It would hurt a lot.” Florist took a small chair and sat behind him, hands quickly straightening his head.

Takeshi closed his eyes.

It hurt even when he was being so careful. He surely would hurt if he were awake during injections and taking out stitches.

“Falling asleep?”

He heard Florist’s question through a fog so he murmured only and feeling Florist’s cold hands on his cheeks he fell asleep.

**

He opened his eyes, face feeling weirdly numb. He lifted his hand to touch it, but someone caught his wrist, stopping him. He looked to the side and saw Florist by him.

He was on his bed again.

“You carried me here?” Takeshi rasped out.

“I might not be the strongest person in the world but you’re a bag of bones.” Florist handed him a glass of cold water. “Careful.”

“It’s not easy to eat when you can’t move your face.”

“I’m sure that’s the reason you’re not eating,” he responded with a subtle sarcasm.

Takeshi gave him the glass back after taking a sip. “So, how do I look?”

“Definitely better without black stitches all over your face.”

“You took them all out?”

“Yes, I did not stitch you up again. You need a bandage over your eye but let’s the rest of your face breathe and heal. I gave you medicine which should quicken up the process but the fact is that keeping it as natural as possible is the wisest way. The thick stitches were only giving you more bruises at this point.”

“What about my eye?”

“I think that it is damaged so you won’t see clearly, but…” he quickly added seeing him saddening. “Nothing that’s not fixable. Don’t worry about it. But I told you that it will take time.”

Takeshi nodded, watching Florist in curiosity. He smiled a little finally. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Florist seemed to be thinking about something. “I think you should stay for some time.”

“Here?”

“Yes.” He lifted his hand to stop him from interrupting. “But if you’re fine with coming here over and over then that’s fine.”

Takeshi blinked surprised. The invitation shocked him. It wasn’t that they were meant to be enemies, they always had a screwed up relationship, but living together?

On the other hand, with Isao gone… He always told people to not get attached to others because people come and go, but Isao was always by his side.

Even when they were not in a romantic relationship.

He missed having someone. Anyone. He was not used to being completely alone.

And everybody seemed terrified of staying with him too long. He did not want anybody to see him either.

Apart from Florist.

If he were meant to live for a little bit longer…

“I will stay.”

**

Isao put the bottle of vodka back in the freezer, wiping his mouth. It was dark, late enough to not bother checking the clock anymore.

He could not sleep.

If he got used to sleeping by Takeshi’s side then he can get un-used to it, right?

His hand went to his arm where the tattoo, the same tattoo they shared was.

Free birds.

Yeah, right.

He had no idea what was going on with Takeshi, since the rest of the gang stopped contacting him deciding he was a coward they won’t bother with anymore.

He wasn’t a coward. But he did deserve this treatment.

Never, till the end of his life that by contract he should end already, he expected himself to fail this badly. When he was young, before he even met Takeshi, he wondered how on earth bodyguards become this devoted to save another’s person life. How could you see their life as more important than your own when there are no feelings involved.

He had no such problem, falling in love with the one he learned he was meant to protect.

And yet he failed like he never cared one bit.

By the words they exchanged, words he wrote himself, underlining that he would die for him or if he would fail him…

He should kill himself.

Takeshi was not dead, but what his father did, and the fact that he knew he could hurt him and did nothing to stop him…

Isao sat on the sofa, hiding his face in his hands.

Each night when he wanted to fall asleep, exhausted from not sleeping the night before and before… he just saw blood, Takeshi drowned in the bath filled with water coloured in deep red. His blue lips. His face and throat and whole body cut so deeply that when they tried to wake him up he just cried out from the horrifying pain he had to feel.

He could still hear it. He could still see him shaking, the tears running down his cheeks.

He dreamed of him bleeding out and dying in his hands. Of gasping for air as he held his neck so he wouldn’t deepen the wounds on his throat. Of himself begging him to stay but Takeshi’s body becoming limp in his arms.

Isao tried to find his father. Find and kill without a second thought. But he was nowhere to be found. And he could not come back to Takeshi knowing his father will strike again seeing them together.

At least now he would have no reason to.

He got what he wanted.

**

Isao looked up surprised when someone knocked on the door. It was too late for anybody.

Unless… What if his father came himself?

He stood up and opened the door quickly. He did not even register who stood there before he was punched so hard in the face he ended up on the floor.

Through a fog he thought it was no one but Takeshi but once his sight cleared he realised it was Sousuke. Of course, the boy was way bigger than his father, less feminine, and their eyes were different.

But the fury on his face was even more recognizable than the features they shared.

“That’s for dad, asshole,” he spit out, both hands curled up into fists.

But before he could leave, Isao choked out a desperate question.

“How is he?”

Sousuke turned back to face him so quickly he thought he will punch him again.

“How do you think he is?! His whole fucking face and body is in deep wounds! He can barely walk, even talk! He can’t see on one eye! He’s a fucking bag of bones because he can’t eat! He hid in his fucking apartment and no one saw him since! None of us know how to help him because it was you who knew him the best! He probably thinks we’re abandoning him for whatever fucked up reason he came up with!” Sousuke’s shouts quickly became choked up. “You know we both are fucked up mentally. I can imagine what he thinks and how he feels and trust me you don’t want me to fucking tell you.”

“I’m sorry…”

“You’re SORRY?!” Sousuke snapped. “Shove your ‘sorry’ up your ass! It means shit! Not only he is hurt because of YOU, you did not even have the guts to help him after what you did to him!”

“I am helping him by not being there!” Isao stood up finally to face him properly, ignoring the blood running down his chin. “This is the best I can do now!”

Sousuke laughed hysterically. “You are helping him by kicking him in the ass when he needs you the most?! I saw his eyes looking for you when he woke up! He was still delirious! He asked where you are! Be fucking happy you did not see him, his face, realising you really fucking left!”

Isao closed his eyes, the words stinging. “If my father will see me by his side he will strike again. Is this what you want?”

Sousuke stood so near their noses were close to touch and Isao never saw his eyes this bright and furious. “I want you to man the fuck up, be by my father’s side when he needs you, own being a fucking bodyguard finally, and kill your father the second he will show up, asshole. I can’t fucking believe that someone I would trust my life to turned out to be such a goddamn coward.”

“I am doing this for his good!” He wasn’t a coward! As much as it hurt sometimes leaving was the best you could do.

“Fucking hero you are, letting your father nearly murder mine and then leaving him alone to deal with everything. You deserve a medal!”

“I’ve explained to you…”

“He did this for you! He let your father hurt him for you!” He shook his head. “Fuck you. He deserves so much better than you.” Sousuke turned around and made sure to shut the door as loud as he could behind him.

**

Sousuke was fuming. His father went through many things, most Sousuke probably never found out about, but what he knew was that Isao was always by his side. They loved each other, they would do everything for each other.

Kisumi even texted him that Takeshi took Isao to the underground and showed him where he is working, and ensured they talked and fixed their relationship.

He helped him break the fake marriage, letting him breath again.

And Isao thanked him by letting him suffer so much and then fucking leaving him alone.

His dad was in pain when he woke up but the worst was seeing him trying to cover how much it hurt realising Isao really left.

He could remember when he told him that he is surprised Isao’s father did not slash his face open yet. Sousuke was so stupid not taking it seriously and ensuring his dad was safe. But it would never cross his mind that he would actually let it happen. Fucking voluntary.

As much as he loved Isao it was not normal to let others abuse you for the sake of the one you loved. It was sick.

He did not know what to do. He could not look in his dad’s face.

Sousuke quickly turned around hearing a noise behind him, but finding nothing, he went to his car and drove away.

**

“Come on, boy, you can’t just sleep all day everyday.”

Rin lifted his head from the pillows, eyeing his mom standing in the doorway to his room. He was watching some random gossip show speculating yet again who attacked Takeshi.

The pictures they had of Takeshi exiting the hospital were terrifying. But he did not believe Isao could turn out to be a monster.

Although…

The whole family was fucked up.

If Sousuke was ready to cheat on his pregnant boyfriend and then not even contact to try to explain, even a stupid “this is not what you think”, maybe Isao was capable of pretending to love Takeshi and slashing his face open one day later.

He wished he never met any of them. He would not be pregnant, the father of the baby nothing but a lying cheater, whole family of screwed up psychopaths attacking each other and then talking about family values.

He would be on his way to the University, pursuing his swimming career.

His mom sighed and sat by him, eyes on the TV showing pictures of Takeshi.

“Did you think that maybe he did not call because of what happened?”

As a mom she was first to blame everything on Sousuke and stand on her son’s side. But since they received information about the tragedy, she started having doubts.

Weirdly the fact that Sousuke did NOT contact Rin at all made her doubt the cheating scandal.

Maybe it was his plan to get rid of Rin. She wondered when his dad was attacked. Maybe he was keeping Rin safe, maybe some gangs were having a fight with theirs…

She wasn’t sure. But the whole situation was strange. And if Rin wouldn’t be so emotional, he would consider facts too, instead of blaming and hating on everybody, even though he did not let anybody say a bad word three days before, and then crying in between.

“It’s been awhile, he would find time if he just wanted to.” He shrugged.

She brushed his hair back, smiling a little. “Maybe you should start thinking with your brain not emotions since it’s been awhile, hm?”

“You should be on my side, you know.” He hugged his pillow.

“I am, sweetheart.” Maybe there wasn’t a point in worrying him. At the end of the day associating with Yamazaki was associating with Yakuza. They were dangerous.

Rin was safer now. As sad as he was, as upset, it was for the better.

He was young. He will fall in love again.

**

Hair tied back, Florist closed his eyes for a moment, getting in the mood. Certain mixtures he was creating needed his full attention, so the room was so quiet he could hear his breathing.

And soon slight fog filled the room, making him smile. He loved creating, mastering… coming up with new things made him the happiest.

It wasn’t the money, he had plenty. It was the satisfaction.

Which only deepened when he went back to his attic and saw Takeshi sitting on the leather sofa, head lifting up as he noticed him.

The corner of Takeshi’s lips lifted a little but his eyes were as dead as earlier.

He needed to get him involved, fill his time with whatever he could, or it was only going to get worse. This was why he pretended it was so important for him to stay. It wasn’t to do with healing him, and Takeshi knew it well.

It was about keeping him alive.

“So… What’s next?” Takeshi eyed the books in his arms.

Florist grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos!  
> I hope you enjoyed! :))
> 
> Psssssst, the prequel to Invincible is coming ;))


	44. Weirdo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was like a rollercoaster.

“I love dogs.”

Takeshi had to stop himself from squeaking happily when two massive dogs attacked him in Florist’s kitchen.

At the beginning he stayed only in the attic, not wanting anybody to see him. Luckily he really could do most work online, and email the gang what he wants them to do.

He had to be careful so his daughter would not notice him. No one was meant to know he was here.

But as his face was becoming less grotesque, as Florist pushed him more and more into making breakfast with him…

He finally did. Covered but he went downstairs.

“I forgot to tell you about them, sorry.” Florist opened the fridge as Takeshi ended up on the floor. One dog put his head on his lap, the other laid down right by him, waiting to have the fur stroked. “They were meant to be guard dogs but I gave them to my son to train and this is how it ended.”

Takeshi chuckled. “They’re spoiled rotten?”

“They were meant to be kept in cages, but I always heard “thump, thump, thump” in the morning from my son’s room as he tried to walk them out and pretend he did not keep them overnight.” He shook his head, pulling out the eggs, ham, and butter. “I guess they would bite you in the ass if you’d attack him at least.”

Takeshi smiled, pulling himself up to stand, ignoring the growling dogs unhappy with lack of petting.

“Ohh, breakfast!” They heard suddenly and Florist nearly dropped the food seeing his son stretching sleepily, Yori right behind him. “Oh.” They both stood up startled noticing Takeshi.

Well, someone covered in black from head to toe, massive hood over his face.

Florist tried not to laugh seeing the murderous eyes on himself, Takeshi furious with him already.

“Shouldn’t you two be on your way to Germany?” Florist asked nonchalantly, reaching to the fridge again for more eggs.

Takeshi felt like an elephant in the room. If he were at least sitting, but no, he was standing in the middle of the massive kitchen with cupboards on the left and table on the right. Too bad there wasn’t a light pointing right at him.

“Yeah,” His son landed with a ‘whoomp’ on the floor as the dogs attacked him, luckily taking his mind off Takeshi. Yori was looking at him without blinking. “We’re sorta late.”

“Sorta?” Florist turned around.

“Sort. Of.” He rolled his eyes. “You can be such a…” He did not finish seeing his father’s face. “But we’re not going to be late if you will make us breakfast!”

Florist sighed to himself, breaking the eggs on the pan, making Takeshi smile. Realising he needs to leave or they are going to find out who he is, he walked up to Florist and told him in the quietest and lowest voice possible that he will be back later and ignored the disappointed look. He left before anybody could say another word.

**

“Who was that?” Ren asked quickly when the man left, large door shutting loudly behind him.

“None of your business. Sit down, you two really have to hurry up.” Florist dissed the question, annoyed that they made Takeshi leave.

Yori suspiciously watching him did not let him relax.

“Is he the reason you’re so cheerful lately?” Ren grinned sitting on the chair, pushing his naked feet in the dog’s fur.

“What!” Florist put the bowl with scrambled eggs inside loudly on the table.

Ren shrugged. “You’re in a better mood. Nicer. Happier.”

No he wasn’t. “I’m always like this.”

“You don’t make breakfast for random people.”

“He’s a friend, nothing else.”

“Sure, dad.”

Florist rolled his eyes and sat, shaking his head seeing son’s eyes on him and a stupid smirk.

He wanted to wipe it off and he could do it easily by telling him it was Takeshi, but, well.

**

Takeshi slowly walked up the platform to see the youngsters training. Yakuza babies as he called them, all together in the big grey hall.

Akira was standing and watching them as he instructed him to.

“How are they doing?”

He turned around startled, and a smile showed up on his face as he recognised him. “Hey! Takeshi!” In Akira’s style he threw himself at Takeshi, grabbing him in a tight hug. Takeshi could not stop a hiss escaping his throat, as much as he wished he did. “Oh God, I am so sorry!” Quickly pulling away he made sure to leave his hands on Takeshi’s arms. “How are you?” He really wanted to see his face to assume himself but it was not possible.

“I am fine. How is it going?”

Akira sighed not impressed with how he tried to dis him, so he put his arm around him and took to the front of the platform. “Have a look yourself.”

If people would know how much training went into the young kids they would realise why they’re all so strong.

Today those who passed the test were fighting. First some martial arts, then they were meant to learn how to properly use guns, which and when…

The open hall was full of those kids excited like they were meant to enter a fascinating game. He wondered when their faces will get first worried wrinkles, bright eyes will turn vary, ears will become sensitive to the smallest noise.

He chose those he knew would push through all the obstacles. Who won’t run away when they will get shot for the first time, a knife will cut their skin, another gangster will threaten them and their family.

He chuckled when Akira tightened his arm around him. “You know you can count on me, right? Just say what you want me to do.”

“Don’t worry about me, kid. Just keep on working like I tell you to.” He bumped into his arm lightly. “Where’s Sousuke?” He wasn’t sure whether he could not see his son or he wasn’t here.

“He hasn’t come for any training yet.”

“And you haven’t told me?!” Takeshi turned to face him quickly.

“Didn’t want to worry you…” Akira bit his lip.

Takeshi growled frustrated.

**

“I know you’re my son, but that does not mean you do not need to keep on practicing.”

Sousuke’s jaw dropped seeing his father in the doorway to his apartment. Or what he guessed had to be his father since he did not see his face.

“I’ve been busy.” Sousuke shrugged and left the door open so he could come inside.

“Busy… I don’t remember giving you any work lately.” Takeshi looked around the flat. “Where’s Rin?”

Sousuke did not answer, pretending to not hear while taking the coffee from the cupboard and turning the kettle on.

“I’ve asked you a question.”

Sousuke sighed and faced him. “He left.”

“What?” Takeshi sat by the bar made of dark marble on the tall chair.

“Someone sent him a photoshopped picture of me kissing the girl so he left.” Sousuke shrugged again and placed the cup of coffee in front of his father as he sat by him.

Takeshi rolled his eyes. Stupid moron believing every bullshit. By the time he was twenty he was throwing away all pictures sent by anonymous people without even taking a better look at them. He saw Isao kissing half of the population.

“You don’t seem too bothered. Why aren’t you stalking him until he would believe you?”

“I’m not sure stalking is a way to a healthy relationship, dad.” Sousuke snorted.

“I am the last person to give you advice, but I find it weird you just accepted it.” If he had anything to say about relationships then surely with his boyfriend kicking his ass after he nearly died for theirs disqualified him completely.

Sousuke did not need to see his dad to know he was suspicious. “I don’t think we were that good of a match.”

When his father slowly turned his head towards him, he knew he should have found some other excuse.

“Look, I do not care who you’re sleeping with, well, mainly, but Matsuoka is pregnant with your child and you wanted to marry him a few weeks ago.” Did his son seriously think he was this stupid?

“We’re not the first people to separate, dad.”

Takeshi bit his tongue to not swear at him. “Your life, your choice. But you better start getting involved or I will kick your ass.” He put the cup down and stood up.

Sousuke smiled lightly. “Thanks, dad.”

He only shook his head and left before he could even ask him how he was.

His life, his choice, indeed, Sousuke thought.

He was glad to see his dad involved again. Even if he was hiding, at least he was living again. Maybe the pain finally ended.

**

Takeshi only allowed himself to whine from pain when his cheek hit the pillow on his sofa. He was alone in his apartment, he could whine, he could cry.

He did not even have strength to inject himself with morphine.

He knew he was meant to count on Florist from now on, but his mansion was farther away. Sometimes he simply did not feel like making a pathetic joke out of himself, too.

He was tired of being useless, of hiding, of feeling pain. Even when the pain’s going to end, the scars will remain.

He just wanted to die.

**

He moved his head a little to the left to open his eyes and see Florist sitting on the floor by the sofa, watching him. Takeshi tiredly eyed the IV in his hand.

“You know, when I say you have to eat properly while taking those meds, I don’t say it without a reason.” Florist straightened up, light shadows underneath his eyes.

This was what living with Takeshi was doing to a person, huh? After a few weeks Florist seemed to age a few years.

Takeshi hid his face back in the pillow and felt Florist taking the IV out and standing up.

“Come on, you’re ready to go.” He slapped his hip.

“Why you’re helping me?” Takeshi mumbled.

If he ended up being a whiny bitch, he might as well own it.

Florist sat by him. “Because my life would be ‘fucking boring without you.’” He repeated his words and slapped him again. “Come on, pretty boy.”

Takeshi snorted, but lifted himself slowly into a sitting position, feeling dizzy.

“I won’t be able to help you if you will continue to abuse your body like this.” Florist stood in front of him, eyebrows furrowed maybe in concern, maybe slight annoyance.

“I only haven’t eaten breakfast once, get off my back,” Takeshi snapped frustrated.

He was surprised when Florist caught his wrist. “This is not how you would look if you ate how I told you to.” Florist was a very pale and slim guy, fragile even, typical for someone who could hide in dungeons for hours and forgot about the whole world. He didn’t wake up at recommended hour in the morning, ate healthy breakfast and went for a run, he probably had even more screwed up days than Takeshi, but he still managed to look healthy. Unlike him. “Listen. I want to help you. I want to make you all pretty again,” his hand tightened on his wrist, “but you’re not giving me enough time.”

Takeshi looked down and only lifted his chin when Florist put his cold hands on his cheeks. “You have to stop thinking that you should be a walking perfection and punish yourself every time you remember you’re not. No one is perfect and you’re never going to be.” He patted his cheeks lightly. “Come on, I made dinner.” He caught his wrist again and tugged him towards the car.

**

Sitting opposite to Florist and watching him eating, he really could not stop wondering why the guy cared this much. Was he a challenge? That was probably it. But still…

“I am a pretty good cook, stop whining.” Florist pointed the fork in his direction.

“I am not saying anything.”

“But you’re not eating either.”

Takeshi chuckled. “Why?”

“Huh?” He asked surprised.

“Why do you care?”

Florist sighed exasperated. “Let’s say I hate Isao guts so I want you to show him what he lost.”

Takeshi laughed. “Oh, please. You don’t give a damn about Isao.”

“I do get a satisfaction from peeving people off, though.” He shrugged. “It always annoys me when people get depressed after break ups. Don’t show them that you can’t live without them, show them you’re better off without them and what they have lost.”

“Even if I would look my best he would know how I really feel. We know… we knew each other for too long.” Takeshi stopped smiling.

He wished he could act out, first self-pity a little that he lost him, then get mad and break some things, then party till he could not remember a thing. Get drunk, get laid. Don’t give a fuck. Don’t think, especially constantly about what is exactly causing him to feel this bad. Anything but turning into a guy who stares at walls, tries to do something with himself but at the end of the day feels useless. He was stuck. He needed to live to get over what happened.

Who the fuck would want him looking like this, though?

Florist snorted. “Even if he would think you’re just pretending, you would make him unsure at least.”

“I can’t do anything looking like this anyway.”

“Now you’re pissing me off,” Florist snapped. “Look in the goddamn mirror. Have you seen how much improvement there’s already? You had deep gashes all over your face, it was grotesque. Now it’s just lines, they look like paper cuts in comparison!”

“I’m sorry.” Takeshi realised he had to sound really ungrateful. “You know I really appreciate what you’re doing.”

“Then you can thank me by feeling as good as your face is starting to look. You’re the one who makes himself feel ugly now.”

Takeshi smiled, hand automatically touching the bandage over his eye. It really was time to bring the old Takeshi back.

As much as he felt he had no strength for it. He had to get a grip because he was only starting to annoy everybody. Including himself. He never wanted to be the pathetic guy.

He looked up when Florist stood up and walked over to him to put his hand on his shoulder. “We will take care of that, too.”

“Was it your plan to make me like you? Because it’s working.” Takeshi laughed quietly.

This was getting ridiculous. But he really was enjoying spending time with Florist more than he could imagine. While he didn’t shout at him, he kicked his ass, instead of letting him cry over himself. He needed that.

“You’re not entertaining when you sulk all the time.” Florist shook his head.

“I’m not sulking.”

Florist bent a little to get closer to him. “Everybody needs something else to start feeling better. If I’d feel like you I’d go to the garden. Start making stuff. I think you need to go out and live a little.”

“I’m not sulking,” he repeated. “I went out. I did all my duties. My mafia is doing great.” Of course he needed to go out and live. But he could not.

“I’m talking about doing something that would make you happy, not fulfilling your duties.”

Takeshi looked away.

“I was meant to meet with the guy responsible for interior design today. In the evening. Come with me. We can get a drink later.”

Takeshi shook his head. “I can’t be completely covered when meeting for business.”

“That’s the point. Don’t cover yourself.”

Takeshi laughed. “Are you kidding me?”

“Make the bruises a little lighter with foundation and you’re fine.” Florist shrugged. “I need to get a few things done, see you in two hours.” And without another word he walked away.

“What! Wait!” Takeshi turned around quickly. “I can’t, I…” He swallowed hard.

Fuck.

**

Takeshi stood in front of the mirror. Sure he could cover the bruises. When he put so much foundation over his face that he could eat it with a spoon. It looked awful.

He started cleaning his face angrily, wiping it all off with disgust and then sat on the floor, hiding his face in his hands to not look at his legs that still had deep gashes all over them. Florist was trying to figure out how to heal the rest of his body. Smaller places like his face were easier because he could inject it. But he could not do that to his whole body.

He could cover the rest of his figure though. Until he did not need to show it, it was fine.

Takeshi did not even notice Florist walking into the bathroom until he saw his shoes. He lifted his head to see him looking at him, head a little cocked to the side.

“You’re such a mess.”

Takeshi smiled through tears he did not know he cried, embarrassed looked down. He wondered when Florist would tell him to leave. He probably thought that he would hold himself together in front of him, and Takeshi thought that he would too. It wasn’t that he felt beyond comfortable with Florist, even though the man saw him in worst moments since they were kids. But he just felt like sitting on the floor crying like a loser dressed in a too big shirt hanging on him, hair he did not know when he styled for the last time. Who cared when he hid completely anyway. He hated himself for it, but he could not stop being like this. Feeling like this. It was awful, but he could not. No matter how much he wanted. And he did not know why.

And this was making him feel even worse, the self-hatred deepening.

Florist took a small damped towel and kneeled by him, taking his chin in his hand and wiping the tears off. “You’re better than that,” he murmured.

Takeshi smiled again. He wasn’t. Maybe that was the point. He wasn’t.

“I thought you started feeling better, what happened?” Florist asked quietly.

He shrugged. It was like a rollercoaster lately.

“Come on.” Florist stood up and extended his hand towards him. “I’m not leaving you alone today.”

“I’m fine, just go,” he croaked out.

“No.”

“I don’t want to go.” Please, just leave him alone.

“I will try to cover those bruises.” He grabbed his hand and pulled him, not waiting for another excuse.

Takeshi let him push him on the bed and he took a little bottle, hand already moving him into a lying position. “Close your eyes.”

“Should I be worried?”

“No, just don’t move.”

Takeshi cringed a little feeling his fingers spreading the cold liquid delicately on his face. “What is it?”

“I hope it will cover the bruises.”

It couldn’t be a foundation because he was putting it over and over again, smoothing it into his skin. It felt like a really light cream.

He wasn’t sure if it were bruises making him feel this bad at this point. Maybe he was meant to close himself in the goddamn attic or his apartment and be the night monster everybody called him already.

“I am a genius.”

Takeshi opened one eye to pick at him. Florist looked beyond satisfied with himself.

“Why are you doing this?” Takeshi asked for what he felt a millionth time. “We’re enemies. You should be happy I look like shit. You should want me to suffer. And to kill myself.”

“I think we have established this is not how we play.” Florist cocked his head, watching for bruises closely. He smiled. “Check yourself out.” He pointed to the mirror close to the window.

Takeshi gathered himself unsurely and went to it, moves becoming slower the closer he was.

He looked at himself in disbelief. Only when he nearly touched the mirror with his nose he could spot the very tiny red lines, nothing he could not cover with a bit of a blusher. He thought he would never see himself looking like this again. But his face looked like it was never touched with a knife.

Nearly. But he would not dare to pity over that.

“Don’t cry, you will wash it off.” He heard and grinned, sitting himself on the floor.

Florist walked up to him and threw him the bag with make up and clothes he put on the side. “We’re late. Hurry up.”

“Hey!” Takeshi stopped him before he could leave. “Thank you.”

Florist turned around, hand on the door. “Watch out or you might become dependant on me.” He winked. “Hurry up.”

**

“Okay, so, basically we’re telling them we want the club to look a lot like before, but with a fresh breath of air.” Takeshi was sat by Florist in the back of the car as the driver took them to the club.

The corner of Florist’s lips was lifted as he watched him. Takeshi walked out of the room dressed in the trademarked at this point outfit of black skinny jeans, longer shirt, blazer and boots, make up perfectly lying he was healthy, hair finally styled. He finally looked alive and gorgeous again. And even happy. Even though it was all lies and he probably still wanted to die deep inside.

But having strength to pretend was a step forward.

He did not believe it was only the bruises. Of course it made Takeshi feel worse. But this was more about them reminding him of what happened at this point, since the pain was lessening.

At first he did not know he was having nightmares. But seeing him sluggish in the morning, dark shadows underneath his eyes spoke for him instead. Isao’s father never stopped himself from saying the most hurtful words. He really wondered what he told Takeshi, but he trusted it hurt enough to make him hate himself even more and keep his eyes open during the night. Not that he would ever tell him.

As sad as it was he knew being knifed open and drowned was not enough to give Takeshi nightmares. He was used to getting hurt.

But words hurt more. Even when you’re used to them, too.

“Yes.”

Takeshi looked up from the documents, silver bracelets ringing on his wrist. “What?”

Florist shrugged. He did not need to know that he was watching him this closely.

Takeshi murmured something under his nose, taking the bracelets off. “It’s making my sleeve lift up.” He looked around where to put them to not lose them and finally at Florist. He quickly caught his wrist and put them on. “Keep it safe, would you.”

“I’m not paying if I’m going to lose it.” Florist seemed surprised he was given it.

Takeshi chuckled. It fit him.

**

The conversation with the designers finished quickly. After all they mostly were meant to hand them old pictures and tell what they expect. Now the work was in their hands, and they were supposed to propose something soon. Florist quickly tugged him to the bar and they sat by it, ordering drinks.

“Unlike you to want to socialise.” Takeshi had his cheeky smile back on his face, making everything right in the world again.

Well, he did give him so much morphine that he definitely already felt a little drunk, which made everything easier.

“I’m not so anti-social that I can’t have fun once in awhile.” Florist rolled his eyes.

“You’re never out. Wait, sorry, only when you open a new club.” They thanked the bartender as he put the drinks in front of them.

It wasn’t loud in the club since it wasn’t a weekend, but enough people that it was too loud for anybody to overhear them. They enjoyed the softer music and low light as they drank, chattering about nothing and everything.

“I’m not one to party, and don’t really have anybody to go out for a drink with.” Florist explained and blushed realising how pathetic it sounded. “Well, I mean…”

“Now you have me. Better than nothing, eh?” Takeshi grinned, patting his cheek lightly not letting him get embarrassed. One of the reasons people loved spending time with him was because he was making it so easy for everybody. “Or maybe not. But you don’t have much of a choice. I’m like a leech.”

“Like a leech,” he snorted. Idiot.

“Want to bet you’re going to be really damn tired of me and beg me to leave in less than a month?” Takeshi joked, lightly hitting Florist’s glass with his in cheers.

Florist shook his head. “If you want to lose.”

“Uh, oh.” Takeshi chuckled. “I’m starting to believe you really do like me.”

“I never said I do not.” Ugh, shut up, Florist!

It was sort of adorable how Florist was acting like a child when embarrassed, patting his fingers on the glass and not looking into his eyes.

“When people try to kill each other they most likely aren’t fond of each other.” Takeshi laughed, hand on his shoulder as the tipsier he got, the flirtier. It was so typical of him to get touchy feely.

“I never really wanted to kill you.” Florist admitted. Alcohol was untying his tongue way too quickly.

“You drugged me and tied me up,” Takeshi slurred a little. He was so close, head cocked, hand under his chin holding it up, eyes starring into his.

Florist looked down, playing with the bracelet he had given him. “I wouldn’t have killed you.”

Takeshi raised his eyebrow but let it go, as he clearly did not want to continue the topic.

Florist was a weird creature, but Takeshi wasn’t one to tease others with what they were uncomfortable with. Florist always found being open, talking with people, socialising tiresome. He was overly self-conscious and one of the guys who talked freely and then beat themselves up for three days analysing whether they said something stupid. In reality he was simply sincere and he did not like it, feeling that it was making him vulnerable. Takeshi was sincere, but he did not care about what others apart from his closest friends thought.

He could ask Florist more private things another time.

**

“I’m so drunk, I haven’t even drank this much,” Takeshi murmured once they sat by each other in the car and the driver started the engine.

“You’re on morphine, it’s like you drank twice as much.” Some of Florist’s hair was out of the side-plait after Takeshi decided to annoy him and play with it.

Takeshi’s head lolled to the side to look at him, making him laugh seeing how drunk he was.

“Mean.” He tickled Florist’s hand that he placed in between them, a giggle escaping his throat. Everything was so funny.

Takeshi laughed when Florist pinched his cheek in return and so without another word he moved closer and put his head on his shoulder. “Wake me up when we’re going to be at yours,” he murmured, eyes closing. He was out in seconds.

**

“Your house is so pretty.” Takeshi threw his arm around Florist’s shoulders as they stumbled upstairs, nearly falling.

“You too.” Florist furrowed his eyebrows. He was so drunk. “Don’t fall in the bedroom, you left…”

Whoop.

“Ow.” Takeshi sat by the bed that he just hit with him, falling over his shoes. “You remember stupid shit, but too late,” he mumbled unhappily and climbed up.

“You’re not going to shower? That’s disgusting.” Florist cringed.

Takeshi reached for his plait and tugged him up.

“Ow!”

“Sleep.” Takeshi got comfortable after he kicked his shoes off, laying the wrong way on the bed. He did not seem to mind.

“The pillows are there.” Florist pointed behind him, but on his side facing him to not get painfully pulled again.

“Sleep.” Takeshi seemed already asleep.

Florist closed his eyes only to open them quickly again. “I don’t even sleep here…” Takeshi put his hand over his mouth.

“Sleep.” He cuddled up to him, hugging him in the middle.

Florist opened his eyes wide, but Takeshi was already snoring quietly.

He sighed and brought him closer, putting his nose in his fluffy hair.

Weirdo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments and messages! <333
> 
>  


	45. Nalin Mori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The real name, the past, and father & son bonding time

“Are Nalin Mori and Takeshi Yamazaki dating?!”

Isao took a double take seeing the headline on the TV. Kisumi put some gossip show on and watched it with open mouth, still in his pyjamas sitting on the sofa in the living room. There were pictures of Takeshi and Florist on TV, leaving the Underground, Takeshi’s arm around Florist’s shoulders. He was laughing cheerfully and looked perfect. Not a scratch on his face, clothes and hair stylish, with Florist looking like a couple from a runway.

Isao could not believe what he was seeing.

He was used to Takeshi being a flirt, especially when drunk, but since he was always with him then he put the attention on Isao. Now it was all on Florist, whose hair seemed a mess compared to how it was before they walked inside the Underground. Which of course the media had noticed.

He could feel his blood boiling.

“Whole channel is talking about them,” Kisumi said quietly. “Especially since it’s the first time Takeshi showed himself publicly after the… accident. And he does not look like anything happened to him. They assume Florist worked his magic on him.”

“Seems so.” He was so furious. Of course Florist got to Takeshi the second he left him. A few weeks and people already thought they were dating. What a fucking joke.

“Why Takeshi did not stop those pictures from going to media?” Kisumi asked.

“He did not put any ban on pictures of him and Florist, and I’m sure Florist did not either.”

Kisumi sighed. “They will probably publish a statement later. It’s still early.”

Isao nodded, but he wasn’t so sure.

**

Florist blinked his eyes open feeling his phone ringing in his pants. The previous night slowly came back to him, bringing the headache. He looked at Takeshi in his arms, deep asleep, black eyeshadow smeared on his face, hair covering his eyes.

He resembled a little angel. Fallen but still an angel.

The phone made a beeping noise again and he reached for it.

[“Are Nalin Mori and Takeshi Yamazaki dating?!”]

“What…?” Florist whispered to himself seeing his name appearing on the screen. He always received notifications whenever his name was mentioned in media, but never were they speculating about his love life. Especially with Takeshi out of all people.

He looked at the pictures. They weren’t doing anything inappropriate, just walking by each other, tipsy and joking. Like millions of other people do. He didn’t think about banning their pictures, Takeshi clearly did not either.

He scrolled down, checking if there was anything else that actually needed his attention.

[Did you know Yamazaki’s son is sick?] A text message caught his notice.

[What do you mean?] He replied, hoping the answer will come quickly.

[Leukaemia. He refused treatment.]

Florist gaped and quickly looked at Takeshi, sleeping peacefully attached to him, arms around him and face pressed to his chest. There was no way Takeshi knew.

When things were getting better something always had to go to hell.

“Sthop clickin’”

Florist looked to the side and saw Takeshi cringing. “Huh?”

He did not answer, instead lifted his hand and slapped his phone out of his. He seemed to be asleep again seconds later.

Florist starred at him angry, but recognising he does not care he just closed his eyes with a sigh. Why not sleep a little bit longer, really.

**

Takeshi growled frustrated when his phone rang again and Florist finally punched him in the side so he would pick it up instead of hiding his head under the pillow.

“What?” he hissed hoping to scare off the person who dared to call him.

“What the fuck?” He assumed it was Nobu.

“My head hurts, say what you want and go away,” Takeshi whined in the speaker, cheek pressed to the pillow. Or was it Florist’s shirt?

“What are you doing with Florist?! Have you lost your mind?!”

“What are you talking about?”

“There are pictures of you and him and the media is buzzing with dating rumours!”

Takeshi snorted. “We went for a drink, nothing else. Chill, love.”

“Don’t you ‘love’ me! Release a statement! And what is this about anyway?! You and Florist?!”

“Okay, will do later.” He ended the call and threw the phone away, stopping the shouts.

He wasn’t happy that they were found by media, but it was his fault for focusing on self-pitying instead of banning pictures he should have known that could have been taken. No media could come inside the Underground, but outside was another story. During weekends paparazzi could not even come close to it.

So it was an ending of hiding his relationship with Florist. Whatever.

“You’re not angry?” He heard a muffled question at the top of his head.

“Have you done it on purpose?” Takeshi lifted his head from Florist’s chest to look at him.

“No.”

“Then no.” He put his head back down. Now that he was more awake he was starting to feel the lack of morphine in his veins. It was a relief that his face did not sting so much anymore, but when the rest of the body cringes suddenly it was difficult to ignore it.

He winced and sat up slowly not facing him, not wanting to show his pain to Florist after telling himself that he will stop self-pitying. Yesterday was a move forward and he did not want to ruin it.

“Wait.” Florist quickly caught the back of his shirt and lifted himself up into a sitting position when he looked at him. “I can tell you’re in pain.”

“I’m fine, I will just take a shower.” He had to look like right shit since Florist was stopping himself from laughing, mouth twisted in a smile. “Shut up.”

“I won’t tell you how you look like but if I’d take a picture of you now and send to the media…” He shook his head and moved off the bed.

“Look at you, one night with me and you’re already vulgar. I’ve got the best effect on people.” Takeshi wiped his cheek and saw the black eyeshadow all over his hand. “Ugh.”

Florist walked back to the bed and sat behind him, hiking his shirt up. Takeshi closed his eyes and tensed only to breath out in relief after a few minutes. He turned to face Florist.

“Goodness, what I would do without you, huh?”

He chuckled and patted his knee. “Don’t tell that to your friends.”

Takeshi winced. “They don’t know shit, don’t take what they say personally.”

“What do they know?” He cocked his eyebrow.

“We’re enemies trying to kill each other,” Takeshi shrugged and stood up to find some clothes to change into. At the end of the day he could not tell Florist everything his people and friends knew. They were on the good grounds at the moment, but their relationship changed as quickly as the weather. He wasn’t keen on digging his own grave.

Florist watched him closely, knowing he was hiding the truth. He didn’t push, being aware of what people thought anyway and there was nothing nice hearing the word “psycho” over and over again. He had a bigger problem on his head.

Sousuke was sick. And it seemed he had to tell Takeshi about it.

He looked up when Takeshi pinched his cheek. “Whatever they’re saying, remember you just spent the night with a well known whore. I’d prefer your titles.” With clothes in his arms he winked and made his way to the bathroom.

“Is this what you heard that night most often?” Florist asked quietly.

Takeshi stopped unsurely, looking down. “My father and Isao’s gave me the title, of course he will reuse it as often as possible.” Without another word he closed the door after himself.

While Florist always thought that against everything Takeshi and Isao were a good couple, never will he understand why Isao let his father live for so long.

At least he had enough decency to leave when the man slashed Takeshi’s face open and drowned him.

**

“Are you angry for yesterday?” Takeshi sat comfortably on the chair in the kitchen, colorful breakfast in front of him. Florist sitting opposite to him was weirdly quiet.

“No, why?”

“You’re quiet.”

Florist was trying to figure out how to tell him what’s happening with Sousuke. The information was slowly starting to get real in his mind, and when he imagined what he would do finding out that Ren is sick… He had no idea how to tell Takeshi about Sousuke being ill again.

And refusing treatment.

“I need to tell you something.” At least when he began he had to finish.

Takeshi smiled a little. “You want to lose the bet?”

“Huh?” Florist blinked surprised.

“We betted how quickly you will want me out of here,” he chuckled.

“Oh… Oh, no…” Florist sighed, scratching his head. He was in deep, deep hell.

Takeshi put the fork down, becoming serious. “What’s going on?”

“It’s about Sousuke,” he said quietly.

“What?” Takeshi straightened up, all happiness vanishing.

“He has leukaemia. And he refused treatment.”

Florist never saw someone paling this quickly, eyes losing all the light. He saw many people facing upcoming death from his hands, he saw them dying, and somehow no one looked as badly as Takeshi at this moment.

“I did not know how to tell you, I just found out and… I knew I had to tell you as quickly as possible.” Florist shrugged awkwardly. He wasn’t a master of smooth talk, luckily he never had to give bad news to anyone he liked. But he was aware that Takeshi had to find out now instead of being slowly prepared for it. There wasn’t time.

How to prepare someone for such bad news anyway?

“What do you mean he refused?” he whispered.

They were quiet for awhile.

**

When Sousuke woke up in the morning he surely did not expect that on this day he would end up being slapped by his own father.

Yet here he was standing in the doorway to the apartment, face furious, and hand still lifted after slapping him harshly on the cheek.

“Ow!”

“You fucking idiot.”

There was this rumour going around since Sousuke could remember that Takeshi might be the nicest person on earth to another but deep inside he was a complete devil. A rumour everybody he knew laughed at because of course Takeshi is dangerous and a bad guy when it comes to mafia, but a devil?

Seeing him pale, face twisted in anger, eyes dark, and hiss at the end of the tongue reminded him why people feared the man even if to public he seemed to be a freaking angel.

“Wow. What was that for?” Sousuke touched his cheek. Outch.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” He lashed out, making Sousuke automatically take a step back. “You’re sick and you don’t tell me. If that’s not bad enough I find out that you refused a goddamn treatment. What the FUCK?!” He smashed the door after himself, room becoming quiet.

“Well, you did not tell me you’re screwing with Florist, so…”

If he expected his father to blush and let him change the topic then he was a complete idiot. The face he made was one worst enemies saw, and Sousuke knew he made a mistake.

“First thing, I’m not your buddy, son, I am your father, I think you forgot that. Second thing, my fuck life is none of your fucking business. Third thing, how dare you hide your illness from me and the fact that you refuse treatment?” He spit out.

“I am an adult now, I can make decisions about my life.” Sousuke mumbled out, sitting on the sofa. He really did forget that his father knew how to put people in their place.

“You call yourself an adult?” he whispered, and it was worse than screams. “You’re nothing but a selfish brat with no considerations for others. You do not care about your life? Fine. Too bad you do not care for your child, father of the child, your father, and the business that you said you would take over if there was going to be a need, too. No. You just decided you wouldn’t bother to save your life, just because. Such a fucking adult you are.”

Sousuke was taken aback. All those weeks he was preparing himself for all sort of conversations, he thought that he needed to know how to deal with emotional people who would cry and beg him to stay.

But here was his father and he was basically calling him a piece of shit of a loser.

“You don’t know how it feels…” Sousuke whispered.

It somehow made him feel more vulnerable that anything else could.

“Of course son, I have no idea how pain feels,” he said sarcastically. “I did not know it hearing how I am a whore from my own father over and over again.” Sousuke cringed. “I did not know getting shit beaten out of me and hiding everything behind make up. I did not know hearing everyday how I am nothing, how I am stupid and never will I be good for anything. I did not know it when your mother died or when you were dying on my eyes. I did not feel pain when I was shot, when a knife slashed my whole body and face open and then I was drowned in my own fucking blood right after hearing the worst words in my whole life…”

“You said granddad never…”

“I lied. I did not want you to know such things.” Takeshi kneeled in front of him, eyes slightly mad as he revealed his deepest secrets. “Since I remember I wanted to end my life, and I tried so many fucking times. But I always found a reason to stay. Even when you feel the pain is too much, think about those who will hurt more than you. You will be gone, but they will suffer till the end of their lives missing you.” He closed his eyes. “At first there was Florist’s father who showed me that there is happiness in the world when mom’s love wasn’t enough anymore. Then there was Isao who was worth living for. Then your mom and you. And the business. As fucking awful as life can be, it is fucking worth it.” He opened them. “Lately everything is going wrong. You don’t even know about some of the things…”

“Why won’t you tell me then? You want me to tell you everything, yet…”

“You’re my son. It’s different. There is no reason for me to put on your shoulders all the problems I deal with, I already said enough.” Takeshi shook his head. “You’ve got enough of your own. It’s my duty as a father to help you. Stop being stupid and let me!”

They were quiet for a while, Sousuke’s head down starring at his hands. His eyes were closed, but Takeshi did not move, letting him digest everything he just heard. He begged in his mind for Sousuke to stop the ridiculous idea. In reality he wanted to hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay, like a good dad would, but when he started considering how he could actually convince him to start fighting he realised petting his hair won’t work. This was exactly what his son expected.

He had to shock him. Turn into a bastard if he had to. Anything to clear the boy’s mind.

A really honourable boy who would stay because he would feel bad for others sooner than for himself.

“I am scared,” Sousuke choked out, lifting his head, tears in his eyes making Takeshi’s heart hurt. “They said there’s a small chance. I need bone marrow transplant, dad. And before that, a lot of intensive chemotherapy. You know it will kill me…”

“It won’t kill you,” Takeshi interrupted. “It won’t,” he repeated. “You will have the best care. The best doctors. You will have everything. All you need to do is fight.” He put his hands on his cheeks. “I know you are scared and you do not want to hurt again. I know, I understand. But it’s worth to fight for your life. You’re young and strong, you’re going to be a dad, you have a bright future waiting for you against everything.”

“I don’t want to.” Sousuke could feel the tears in his eyes. “I don’t want to go through this again.”

Takeshi quickly moved to sit by him and hug him tightly, not saying anything as Sousuke hugged him desperately back.

God, he knew. He had to be so terrified, remembering how much it hurt last time.

Takeshi understood. When you’re dealing with pain you really have to ask yourself whether it’s worth fighting. But it was. As bad as life could be, it always was because we never knew what the next day could bring. Maybe it was rain, but maybe it was the most beautiful sunshine you have ever seen.

He did not make Sousuke’s life easy, he was probably the reason why the child did not fight more. If he made him believe that life was worth it since the beginning… But he was a cheap advertisement.

“If you don’t want to do it for yourself, please try for your shitty dad at least. Please.” He stroked his hair, Sousuke’s arms around his middle as he cuddled up to him.

Sousuke could talk all he wanted about how mature he was, and in reality he probably was more mature than Takeshi himself. Age was just a number, wasn’t. 

But he was always going to be his little boy he would do everything for. No matter what.

**

“How did you find out anyway?” Sousuke asked quietly a few hours later.

They were both sat on the sofa comfortably, under blankets, eating cookies and drinking tea watching some movie they did not really concentrate on.

“Nalin told me.” They were both drained and the awful weather was only making them sleepier.

“It’s Nalin now, huh?” Sousuke cocked his eyebrow.

“We’re not together.” Takeshi rolled his eyes.

“Okay.”

Takeshi sighed and looked at him. “We’re rebuilding Underground, so we have met with interior designers and stayed for a drink. Nothing else.”

“Is he responsible for you showing your face again?” Sousuke smiled a little.

Takeshi eyes the TV. “Yes.”

“I don’t get you two at all, but that’s cool.” He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. Like his father said, first of all it was none of his business, but he could not stop from feeling a little nervous. After what Isao told him about Florist…

But now Isao was gone, leaving his father in the worst moment while Florist stayed and helped.

Maybe it wasn’t up to him to judge.

“So there’s two of us,” Takeshi shrugged, pulling the blanket higher under his nose and closing his eyes. He was surprised when Sousuke moved and with a grin put his head on his knees.

“Now I am curious.”

“Look who’s suddenly a little son,” Takeshi snorted.

“Come on. I want to hear your story.”

Takeshi sighed, stroking his hair, exactly like his but a lot shorter. “I know Nalin since we were young teenagers. He was that little weirdo who found socialising exhausting and really preferred to stay at school or home or outside with his books instead of inside the club where the fun was happening.”

“How did you even found your way to the club? Why his father helped you?”

“His dad was a great guy who knew what my father was doing to me. Everybody knew, no one spoke of it. He offered me to work at his club especially when I was at school.”

“You were at a boarding school, weren’t you?”

“Yep.”

“With Isao?”

“No, he was at another one. I’ve met James at mine. Nalin was at some super special specialised one only the best went to.”

“So that’s why he’s so good at creating all the poisons and everything?”

“Yes. His, I’m not sure, grandfather probably, started the business but they were just drugs distributors. Nalin can do anything, he’s a genius.”

“Did you dislike each other from the beginning?”

“No. Nalin changed a lot after his dad died, we lost contact, then we sort of started attacking each other…” Takeshi seemed deep in his thoughts. “I always thought he started hating me because he blamed me for not being there to help his dad. Theoretically as he’s not in Yakuza we should be enemies, too. It’s complicated.”

“Was the fire Yakuza’s fault?”

“No. There was another gang who fought with everybody. Nasty bastards, they do whatever they want, no rules, nothing. Nalin was there and watched his father burn. He did not know how to help, he froze and stood there just watching…” Takeshi winced. “He couldn’t do anything anyway, but… You can imagine how it had to feel.”

“That’s when you lost contact?”

“He disappeared for a long time, I tried to get in contact with him but couldn’t manage. Then he started attacking. There were rumours he had a breakdown and got insane.”

“Do you think he is?”

Takeshi smiled. “Aren’t we all?” a chuckle. “I’m sure it hit him but I don’t think there’s anything seriously wrong with him.”

“But he plays with you. Isao told me how he wants to make a little puppet out of you. That’s creepy.”

Takeshi shrugged, unsure himself. “Isao always took it more seriously than me because he’s protective. I don’t know. Maybe he’s right. Maybe he’s just possessive himself. He was never a fan of Nalin.”

“Why?”

“We spent a lot of time together, only the two of us, because Nalin wasn’t one to party or anything and he only liked me. We were children so bratty Isao was jealous,” he chuckled.

“Be careful with him, though. If he’s so quick to change from hurting to helping you…” Sousuke made a face. “You never know.”

“Let’s worry about you instead now, kid, okay?” Takeshi tugged his hair.

He knew deep inside that there was something wrong with Florist. The tragic death of his father broke him completely and it was childhood that shaped who they were in the future. But he did not feel that he was truly bad. He wasn’t worse than him or any of his friends.

They were all murderers. They had their own rules and definitions. Sometimes it was difficult to draw the line, consider someone basically worse than them.

Florist was different, but was there anything about his behaviour that was worse than theirs?

“Have you seen Yori?”

“I’ve seen her, she did not know it was me though.”

“Maybe… You know… It’s slightly hypocritical to be angry at her for being with his son when you’re with him too now.”

Takeshi shook his head. “I’m not with him. Besides, kiddo, she sold us to Florist, she left us, she said a lot of crap. I did not kick her out for falling in love with the boy.”

“Aren’t you two talking about everything?”

“No.”

Sousuke was surprised. So what were they talking about?

“There are thin lines that are easy to cross, but since I draw them I know how to not cross them, son.” He winked.

“You’re the boss, you can do whatever you want.” Sousuke shrugged. Eh, there was no point in fighting with his dad with who he finally had good contact for Yori who never fought for them, was there?

Takeshi grinned, white teeth on show. Sousuke missed that dangerous, bossy smile.

“Indeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the messages, kudos, and comments xxx
> 
>  
> 
> Nalin Mori
> 
> Nalin \n(a)-lin\ as a boys’ name is of Hindi origin, and the meaning of Nalin is “lotus”. In Buddhism and the Hindu religion, the lotus, a beautiful flower that flourishes in muddy waters, is symbolic of enlightenment found in difficult situations.
> 
> Mori is a Japanese and Italian surname. It is also the name of two clans in Japan, and one in India.The meaning of Mori is “forest”.


	46. A beautiful lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a beautiful lie  
> It's the perfect denial  
> Such a beautiful lie to believe in  
> So beautiful, beautiful it makes me

Good lord, he fucking hated running.

Whenever people heard that he was a gymnast, they imagined him doing all sort of things to keep in shape. Special diet and special training that he carried out 24/7.

And of course it was what the perfect gymnasts were doing. Maybe it would be him if his father actually let him do it properly. It was weird to think about being healthy.

On the other hand he would probably end up in the group of those who starve themselves to be the thinnest and most effective. For a short time.

He only took care of his body when there was a need. He could train it into flexibility and luckily most often this was everything that was needed. No one needed him to healthy.

But now Sousuke did. If Takeshi were meant to provide the bone marrow, he had to be in the best health. Otherwise he won’t be able to save his son’s life.

This was obviously the biggest motivation he could have ever received. He could not remember the last time he ate and exercised this well. Nalin was an angel providing all vitamins, even eating with him to keep him company and motivate him. Even though he underlined that he never met someone who could make a healthy lifestyle destructive, he helped him as much as he could.

They spend a lot of time together lately.

Takeshi did not care about his own feelings. Yes, such a quick change was destructive because he was too sick mentally to do it. Any normal person would receive psychological help to push them towards healthy lifestyle. But he was simply doing it for someone else, and ignoring the fact that he was hating himself more and more while doing it.

It was so fucking idiotic, wasn’t? His body was better than ever but his mind was screaming.

But it did not matter. Nothing mattered. Only Sousuke.

**

“Is the lotion helping?” Florist asked, pushing the glass of mixed fruits towards him as he came back from the shower, drying his hair with a towel.

He took it gladly and sat by the bar in the kitchen. Fruits weren’t so bad. Especially turned into a juice.

Takeshi received a lotion from Florist that he was supposed to bath in every night, letting it sink in the bruises, hopefully making them finally disappear. Of course Nalin managed to find something for the large bruises too.

He hiked up the sleeve, showing him lighter, smaller bruises. They were not angry red and hurtful anymore.

Florist grasped his hand, looking closely and finally smiled. “Fantastic.”

“Yes, yes, genius.” Takeshi licked his lips, finishing the juice. “You’re awesome.” He laughed when Florist walked out with a very satisfied and proud look on his face.

**

Rin walked in the park. It was getting late so there was nearly no one there, dimmed lights lighting up the dark evening. It’s been a few good weeks since he received pictures, since he left and never heard from Sousuke again.

At the beginning he thought he really had no time, definitely spending all his time with his father after the tragedy. But now Takeshi was better than ever, looking like nothing ever happened to him, and for some reason dating Florist.

Sousuke still did not contact him.

Now he felt like it was all set up by Sousuke to get rid of him.

“You’re such a young, stupid, naïve boy.”

Rin jumped startled and turned around to face Takeshi, standing a few steps behind him. The sympathy he was starting to see in his eyes before the break up now was gone again.

“How does it work, you two are so in love with each other, you’re going to have a child, you receive a home from me where you can be alone, you have money, you have everything people dream of at your age, and yet the second you get some fake picture you pack your bags and leave without a word?” He walked up closer, hands in his pockets.

Rin gaped.

“People usually would stay to hear an explanation and then decide what’s next. You just fucked off. And it makes me wonder…” Now they were maybe an inch apart. “Did you ever love him, or you were waiting for an opportunity to leave? Or maybe you’re used to my son running after you, excusing all of your shit, and basically carrying you in his arms, taking all the blame on his shoulders?”

“Why you’re putting the blame on me?” Rin took a step back. “It wasn’t me who cheated!”

“You stupid fuck.” He grabbed him by his shirt and brought close to his face. “Have you ever heard of photoshop? How many stories about fabricated, manipulated relationships and even deaths do you need to hear about to start using your brain and question everything twice?” Takeshi lashed out.

Rin paled. “Why he did not call me to tell…?”

“Maybe because he is tired of having a child for a boyfriend?” Takeshi could not stop a little sarcasm colouring his voice. “Grow the fuck up and start using your brain.” He let him go, feeling he was close to slapping him. The kid was making his blood boil way too easily. “Clearly Sousuke used the situation. Isn’t weird that he loves you so much and yet the second you left he did not bother to even call you?”

Rin nodded unsurely. He hated how intimated the man made him feel. It was difficult to think in his presence.

“Sousuke found out he has cancer. And he refused treatment.”

For the first time Rin looked into his eyes, heart beating quickly in shock.

He could not believe it. Not Sousuke. Not again…

“Refused…?”

“So obviously getting rid of you was an advantage,” Takeshi added. “I talked some sense into him. It would be appreciated if you moved your ass and for once fought for him. I don’t like you, but he loves you.”

Takeshi watched Rin as he sat on the bench, starring blankly at his feet.

He really did not like him. The kid was too weak. Too naïve. Too easy to manipulate. But he wasn’t the one who had to like him. If he could he would shake him and man him up, but when he got pregnant his plans got ruined. He just hoped he would grow a pair once he would become a father.

“You are carrying Yakuza’s child. Are you sure taking a walk around the park in the fucking dark is a good idea?”

Rin could feel his cheeks blushing. Once with Yakuza, always with Yakuza, huh?

“Come on, I will give you a lift back home.”

**

He wanted to ask Takeshi how is Sousuke doing, but he was called and now talking with someone in a language Rin did not understand.

He also wondered how he even knew that he was in the park but it probably would be a silly question, wouldn’t?

“Can I see him?” Rin asked when they parked in front of his home and Takeshi finally finished the conversation.

“He’s waiting for a bone marrow transplant, so he’s kept in a sterile secured room. I don’t let anybody in.” Takeshi said dismissively.

Rin wondered why the hell he decided to tell him now if he did not plan to let him see Sousuke anyway, but then he understood, and the tiny smile on Takeshi’s face only ensured him.

This was the point.

Fucking asshole.

**

“Very sexy, dad.” Sousuke commented seeing his father working the hospital protective gown, hat, shoes, and mask. He even had gloves on and stood proudly in front of his bed where he tried to not fall asleep from boredom.

Takeshi spread his arms. “I can make everything look good.” He turned around. “Nalin, not so much.”

Florist stood there by him as covered, looking slightly awkward but he rolled his eyes at Takeshi and finally lifted his hand in hello to Sousuke.

“Hi.” Sousuke had no idea what he was doing here.

“He has something that hopefully will stop you from being so sick during and after chemo,” Takeshi explained, sitting on the side of the bed.

“I don’t promise anything. Since it’s aggressive treatment you most likely will still feel sick, but it should help at least some,” Florist interrupted.

Once they checked that his father could actually donate the bone marrow, they admitted Sousuke to the hospital. Today he was meant to start the aggressive chemotherapy, and hopefully survive it, so he could also try to survive the transplant.

‘Try’ was good enough for him.

And considering the fact that his father had to take perfect care of himself was somehow making him want to do it. At least for him.

He already looked a lot better.

“Do you prefer to be called Florist, Nalin, or Mori?” Sousuke cocked his head as he put the IV in his hand. No wonder his father ran to him whenever he needed anything, he did not even feel the touch.

“I’m used to everybody calling me Florist,” he shrugged.

Sousuke wasn’t sure whether Rin or Kisumi would be more jealous of his hair, long braided in a side plait. And he wondered whether the red poppy smoothly plaited in and nearly invisible was his or Takeshi’s sarcastic joke.

They surely kept on playing the dating rumours. First the media could not stop talking about the bracelet that they knew belonged to Takeshi yet Florist had around his wrist. Then Takeshi started wearing a bracelet, thin with a small red poppy as a charm. The media were screaming as they did not stop any of the assumptions and instead started showing themselves more and more in front of the cameras.

“Ready?” The doctor walked in with a nurse right behind him, a bag with the medicine, or a poison as Sousuke referred to it, in her hands.

“Sure,” he answered weakly, but smiled when Takeshi lifted his hand, formed in a fist. His heart felt lighter when they fistbumped.

**

“Thank you for staying.” Takeshi turned around to face Nalin, sitting on the armchair farther in the room. Takeshi was holding Sousuke’s hand since the chemo started dropping down the IV and he did not plan to let him go.

Either Sousuke was taking everything much better, or the effect was yet to show, or Nalin’s medicine was working. He was sleeping peacefully, no fever, no problems with breathing, no feeling sick.

“I need to see how he is doing, it’s my stuff he took.”

“Okay.” Takeshi smiled, facing Sousuke again.

The doctor walked in again and after quickly checking on Sousuke he looked at Takeshi. “I’ve got your final results. You’re ready for the donation, now we need to wait for Sousuke. Good job.” He handed him the paperwork, Takeshi smiling brightly. “I don’t think I have ever saw your results this good, even when your mom was still feeding you. Keep it up, would you?”

Takeshi chuckled, but did not answer.

“You’re going to make yourself sick the moment they will let you out of the bed after the surgery, won’t you?” Florist asked, hand under his cheek, head cocked to look at him when the doctor walked out. “Why treating yourself well is so destructive for you?”

Takeshi stopped smiling, eyes down on his hands. Whether he would answer this question Florist did not know, but he had no chance when Akira’s head peaked through the slightly opened door, safe clothes on.

“Hey. How is the brat doing?”

Takeshi waved for him to come closer, so he closed the door after himself and quickly eyeing Nalin he took a small chair and sat by Takeshi.

“Pretty good so far.”

“Is it true you’re going under the knife?” Akira asked concerned.

“Not a knife. It’s full anaesthesia though,” Takeshi explained.

“Is it safe?”

“I’m going to be fine, don’t worry about it.” He bumped in his arm with a grin. “He’s the biggest concern now,” he added quietly, nodding towards Sousuke.

“He’s going to win with this crap.” Akira brought his arm around him. “He already did once, now it’s going to be easier.”

It wasn’t, Takeshi thought. But he knew Sousuke would pull through.

He did not give him the ring for nothing.

**

“Nervous?”

Takeshi smiled dressed in the soft hospital gown, already on the bed, IV in his hand. Now it was his turn to help, and he was starting to feel the stress. Earlier he was too busy watching over Sousuke and making sure he was well. He was great for what he just went through, Nalin’s medicine clearly working. But the worst was coming for him and he was already weak and sleeping most of the time, finding it hard to keep his eyes open.

Takeshi wasn’t worried about himself, he never was. But if something will go wrong then Sousuke will pay. He could not allow it, but he could do nothing but let them take what they needed while he was asleep.

“Look…” Takeshi starred at Nobu. Whole gang was waiting by his side, even though their relationship was strained lately. “You know freaky accidents happen to me all the time. If I’m going to drop dead, make sure Sousuke won’t know before he will get the bone marrow and get healthy, alright? He needs to live.”

“Don’t be an idiot, this isn’t a life threatening surgery.” Nobu swatted his head lightly.

“I know. I’m just saying. Take care of the boy, okay?” Takeshi lifted his hand waiting for Nobu to shake it with him as a promise. He did with a sigh, making him chuckle because now he made him nervous.

The doctor showed up and they stood up after quickly bringing him in a group hug, making the weight on his heart drop as warmth spread in it.

“We will be here when you wake up.” Kin kissed the top of his head.

**

If you’d ask Florist what the hell was going on with him and Takeshi, he’d tell you he has no idea. Especially why they’re playing up the dating rumours.

He could not imagine not having Takeshi by his side, but this was not a romantic and, or, sexual relationship. And it was never meant to be. In the simplest terms they were very good friends at the moment. They liked spending time together, they made each other feel better. Takeshi was a flirt, especially when drunk, but he never took it further knowing he’s not interested this way. In anybody, not only Takeshi.

In all deep honesty Takeshi was one of the few who actually made him feel any sort of sexual desire, and he always did, but he did not plan to make a test subject out of Takeshi. He did not want trouble in the paradise, and as much as Takeshi pretended he did not, he was still obviously hooked up on Isao. Hooking up with someone else would probably help, but the bruises on his body kept his hands to himself. Takeshi clearly only felt comfortable with him.

He probably wanted to play the dating game hoping it will make Isao jealous and show up, but there was not a sight of him. And once again Takeshi pretended like he had no expectations, and he never talked about Isao, but it was obvious if you knew him well enough.

And got him drunk.

Isao and Takeshi met in his father’s club, it’s been so long, yet Isao disappeared like Takeshi never meant a thing. Nalin knew he felt guilt, but he surely knew Takeshi well enough to be aware that leaving was the worst he could do to him?

Fucking coward.

**

Nalin’s jaw dropped to the floor when Takeshi offered him to carry out the surgery. He did mention to him that he had no right to carry out surgeries because he did not pass exams, but it never cross his mind that Takeshi’s response was going to be “well, have me then”.

Yet here he was, under careful eyes of Takeshi’s doctor, Takeshi long time asleep and completely still. He was nervous but he repeated to himself enough times that he knows how to do this. And Takeshi was fine. No problems, even though he apparently not always took the anaesthesia well.

Nalin breathed out in relief when it was all over. And even though Takeshi’s eyes were closed, still unconscious with the plastic tube in the mouth, stuck in place with the bandage around his face, he smiled gratefully at him like he would know anyway.

**

Sousuke looked at the IV in his hand, biting his lips. He knew dad’s surgery went fine. Unless they were lying to him.

But he should only start worrying twenty-four hours later if his dad would still not show up. Takeshi acted like it meant nothing, but surgery was a surgery. He read about it. Takeshi would hurt, he might be feverish, he might get an infection. And he wasn’t the luckiest person in the world, so Sousuke feared the worst.

But somehow when Florist came for a few minutes and told him that everything went perfectly fine and he will keep an eye on his dad, he trusted him more than dad’s gang. They would lie to make him feel better. They loved him and Takeshi the same, they wanted them both to be happy and healthy.

Florist only cared about his dad. He had no interest in lying to Sousuke.

Sousuke wasn’t sure whether his dad was playing it up, but it surely looked a lot like he was eating out of Nalin’s hand already. And the sort of possessiveness Florist was looking at him with was making Sousuke feel uncomfortable.

Maybe this wasn’t friendship. Maybe this was still about ownership.

**

“Welcome in the world of living.”

Takeshi blinked his eyes until his vision cleared for a few seconds. His gang was sitting on both sides, and not seeing concern on their faces but smiles he knew everything was fine.

The doctor and Nalin stood together at the end of the bed.

“How’s Sousuke?” he croaked out.

“So he’s all good.” Akira chuckled. “Sousuke is asleep, so far so good.”

“Why you’re not with him?” He closed his eyes, feeling dizzy. It was difficult to keep awake with a headache and a blurry vision.

“The less people then better,” the doctor explained. “He’s asleep, so not lonely. The doctors have an eye on him. So don’t worry, just rest.”

“I’m sure he will…” Florist rolled his eyes.

Takeshi lifted his hand to show him a middle finger.

“Be nice or…”

“Okay, okay, stop bantering you two, he really supposes to rest.”

Takeshi smirked when Florist’s mouth was shut up.

“How was it?” he asked him curiously.

He shrugged.

“Nalin did well,” the doctor said instead of him. “Congratulations, now you need to wait until he will end up here again so you can get more staples.” He murmured to Florist.

Florist smiled. “That’s not long then.”

“Hey!” Takeshi laughed only to stop with a whine, hand quickly pressing against his left hip. “Ow.”

“Don’t move.” Nalin walked up to him, smoothly manoeuvring between his friends who tried to act like he was not there in the first place, exchanging unhappy glances. He extended his hand and Takeshi shook it with a grin. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

**

“Isao?”

“Yes?” Taking a break from hitting the boxing bag, he picked his phone up and answered it, a towel thrown over his shoulders. Hiding in the basement was what he was doing the best lately. Seeing Takeshi completely in love with Florist was something he was trying to erase from his mind through hitting the bag repeatedly but it was coming back to him whenever he had a second to rest.

“I’ve gotten a message that your father is back in Tokyo.”

Isao stopped suddenly, the bottle of water he was meant to lift from the chair forgotten.

“When?”

“Yesterday evening.”

Isao closed his eyes.

He needed to find Takeshi.

Before his father will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the messages, kudos and comments <3
> 
> Florist http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/127851247352/nightcloak-nalin-mori-florist  
> Yakuza's album with funny commentary http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/127825744487/nightcloak-1-when-was-it-taken-i-think  
> Party boys http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/127748963812/nightcloak-ty-co  
> Takeshi & Florist http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/126706040407/nightcloak-takeshi-yamazaki-florist


	47. Night Of The Hunter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honest to God I'll break your heart  
> Tear you to pieces and rip you apart  
> Honest to God I'll break your heart  
> Tear you to pieces and rip you apart

“Hey, babyboy.”

Sousuke smiled, eyes still closed hearing his dad’s voice. He was okay. Thank lord.

He felt light, like he was not really here. The room smelled of medicine, of sterile cleanness. All ensured that there wouldn’t be a single bacteria, a virus that could hurt him. His body did not protect him anymore. The barrier was wiped off.

“How are you?” A hand free of rings he was used to brushed through his hair that began falling out quickly after so much chemo at once.

“’m okay…” Sousuke murmured, trying to move his body closer to Takeshi.

He was cold.

Takeshi grabbed the soft blue blanket from the chair on the side and quickly pulled it over him, seeing his shivering form.

“Sleep some more. You need it.” Takeshi kissed his forehead, putting his arm around him and head close to his.

Takeshi’s hip ached badly and he dreamed about sleeping after spending whole night awake. But he could not go to his room, he had to watch over his son.

But sleep won after a few moments anyway.

**

Disoriented Takeshi woke up in his hospital bed.

“You’re so stupid.”

He looked to the side to face a highly unimpressed Nalin, sitting on the chair and starring at him, shadows underneath his eyes.

“Love you too,” he croaked out. He felt like someone hit him hard in his side. Why was he in his bed? He was with Sousuke…

“Congratulations, you got yourself sick. Now you won’t see your son at all.”

“If you think some stupid fever will keep me in bed…” he whispered annoyed, ignoring how much his cheeks burned. He had to be really sick and the heavy weight on his chest did not help.

What the hell happened to him?

“Feel free to go, kill your son walking into a sterile room with an infection, genius,” he snapped.

Takeshi froze, face paling.

“You moved too much, too early. The wound opened, and with the amount of sick people in this place the infection worked quickly. We had to put you on antibiotics yet you’re still feverish…” Florist really seemed angry, and for a second Takeshi thought he’s rising to hit him, but after a moment he felt a cold cloth being placed over his forehead. “Stupid.” Florist put his cold hands on his cheeks.

“Is Sousuke okay?” Takeshi felt as if his heart stopped. What if he infected his son? At this moment anything could kill Sousuke. He was so stupid, he did not think that anything like this could happen, he could threaten Sousuke’s health…

Nalin sighed. “He’s okay. You started getting worse after we’ve moved you. Suddenly got such a high temperature you found it difficult to breath.” He cringed, taking the cloth off. “But you’re getting better now.”

Takeshi could feel his hands shaking. What did he do…

Paralysed in realisation he did not even look to the side when someone walked in.

“What were you thinking?!” He cringed when Nobu snapped at him too, hands in his suit’s pockets. “All you had to do was lie in the bed and get better, but you never fucking listen do you? What if you got Sousuke sick, moron?”

Takeshi sunk further into the pillows, wanting to disappear. He just wanted to be a good dad. Why should he prioritise himself when his son was fighting for life? He only felt pain. Sousuke could die!

He just wanted to help but as always had to do everything wrong.

“Now you’re speechless?!” Nobu shouted again when he did not say anything.

Nalin wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up seeing Takeshi panicking, but the doctor walked in and interrupted before he could.

“What the hell is going on in here?” He looked at them in shock. “Are you insane? What do you think you’re doing? You’re in a hospital!”

“Nothing gets to his brain anymore, what else am I supposed to do?!” Nobu asked angrily, voice still high.

“Get out! Both of you!”

Florist looked up surprised. “What have I…”

“OUT.”

Hands formed into fists, Nobu walked out with Florist who decided not to argue.

“Takeshi?” The doctor asked quietly, seeing him covering his face, shoulders shaking. “Takeshi, it’s okay.” He quickly pulled him into a hug, arms tight around his form.

Just what he needed, Takeshi reduced to a panic attack.

“Sousuke is fine. You could not possibly infect him. You only hurt yourself. It’s okay, Takeshi. He’s doing great. Just breath, please.” He stroked his back until his breathing returned to normal and tears that escaped his eyes slowly began drying.

“I’m sorry…” Takeshi choked out.

“Shhh, everything is okay…”

**

“I am so disappointed in you.” The doctor pointed his finger at Nobu, standing outside the room. “Out of everybody I had the most trust in you to use your brain and you come and scream and blame someone who is in pieces already. How dare you?”

Nobu did not answer, shaking his head.

“What’s wrong with you?!”

“I just want them to be healthy and happy. But they both constantly put themselves in life threatening situations. I thought maybe if I will scream it will finally get to Takeshi…”

“Takeshi hates himself so much it’s a miracle he did not shoot himself. He’s trying so hard to be a perfect father. He just turned his life upside down, donated the bone marrow and all he wants is to keep an eye on his deathly sick son. Which is exactly what you would do, too. Now it’s all in Sousuke’s hands, he needs to fight for his own life. You have no right to judge him, them. You hear me?” His voice was strong and Florist watched with interest. They were all so screwed up that they made him feel normal.

Nobu stood up and walked away without even saying a goodbye. The doctor wasn’t sure whether he was ashamed or still angry, but he was glad he went if this was the mood he was in.

Nobu was the last to act like a cretin, maybe he was really worried for them, but he had no right to attack Takeshi when he was barely contacting, completely vulnerable, and knowing how he felt about Sousuke. It took nothing to make a sick person hurt themselves.

He did not need to be a psychologist to know that Takeshi was on the edge.

The doctor looked at Florist. “Hurt him and I will make your life hell.” He left not waiting for a response.

Nalin walked back inside Takeshi’s room. He was lying on his healthy side, so facing the door, but his eyes were closed. Curled up he looked like the lost child he tried to help when he came to him bruised all over.

It was so easy to reduce him to a person who was ready to give up on life in seconds.

Nalin grabbed a small chair and sat in front of his face.

“Someone has to put his boys in order, huh, boss?”

The corner of Takeshi’s lips lifted weakly but he did not open his eyes. “Surely you noticed that my authority is in pieces since I was betrayed by my own bodyguard and his father cut and drowned me?”

“Show some claws and they will get in line again.”

He opened his eyes and Nalin sighed seeing the dead look again. “Soon Sousuke will be on his way to recovery so won’t be needing you so much. You can take care of yourself, get back in the business and build up your authority again.”

“I wish I had the strength I had then,” he whispered. He looked so done Nalin wanted to shake him.

It was so freaking frustrating seeing someone telling themselves that they can’t do anything, that they’re not even worth a slap in the face. They all had their insecurities, and everybody was used to others sometimes pulling themselves down simply with the purpose of being pulled up. It was a selfish thing humans did, but if a few stupid words helped then why not? They all needed to be told a few compliments sometimes.

But Takeshi held on the worst words, disses, hate, and did not expect to hear that it was bullshit. He truly believed it. It were simple facts to him.

Florist understood that it was difficult to ignore hate when it was drilled into your brain from when you were a child and that by someone who you were meant to trust the most, be loved by. Some children were taught to believe that they deserve love, some that they deserve to be hurt.

He just wished that Takeshi would not make it even worse, because he feared that what he was telling himself was even crueller. And he could not protect himself from others when he was keener to agree on everything with them instead.

It hurt to watch.

“You will find it when everything will stop pulling you down. Stop letting people get to you so easily.” Florist tugged his hair lightly. “Cheer up, pretty boy. It’s your birthday soon.”

“Yeah, I’m going to have a pirate theme,” he snorted, pointing at his covered eye. He still could barely see on it.

“I will take care of it later,” Nalin cocked his head. “Shouldn’t be that difficult.”

**

“So where were you all those months, Mr fucking Bodyguard?” Nobu asked sarcastically. Most of the time he refused to swear, but the latest events made him forget about his morals.

When Isao called him, he wanted to put the phone down. He was furious with what Isao did. He understood guilt but this was not how you were supposed to deal with it.

If he were only a bodyguard and Takeshi’s life was threatened purely by the fact that it was him, maybe leaving for some time wouldn’t be considered the worst idea. After talking it through and agreeing on it. But they were a couple. There was love involved.

You don’t leave the one you love in most vulnerable position without a word no matter what. No excuses. If Takeshi believed in anything, it was Isao’s love. It was a miracle that he ensured him of it. And Isao fucked it up. When Takeshi was at his worst he delivered the final blow.

Now they were sat in his living room, Isao wincing at the remark.

“My father is back in Tokyo,” he said simply, lifting his head to look at Nobu.

Nobu cringed. Just what they needed. Damnit. He hoped the bastard wouldn’t dare to come back.

“Takeshi is in danger,” Isao continued. “He will hurt him again. He will try to KILL him again.”

Nobu was quiet for a few moments. “We will employ more bodyguards. Thanks for informing us,” he said coldly.

Isao snorted. He did not expect anything else. “I’m coming back. I won’t let him get hurt again.”

“Excuse me for my language, but go fuck yourself,” Nobu snapped and stood up. “You left him. Officially you betrayed the boss of Yakuza. You’re a lucky bastard, made him fall in love with you so deeply that even after what you did he did not order people to kill you. But I won’t let you come any close to him.” He made his way to the kitchen by the living room. Such a clean, large space. His wife decorated everything, she was a fantastic interior designer who knew how to keep the house warm yet beyond elegant.

“Officially I left so the boss of Yakuza would not be murdered.” Isao followed him, eyeing him angrily. “You know why I did it! You think it was easy for me?! I love him!”

Nobu turned around and laughed in his face. “Oh no, I am so sorry, I did not consider your feelings, you poor pup. Please, forgive me, I was busy ensuring Takeshi wasn’t planning to kill himself, hiding from all of us, after your father nearly murdered him and you left him. Oh, and you know, stressing whether he is really dancing as Florist directs or they’re seriously friends or lovers. And that small pretty much irrelevant situation… Sousuke is dying because he has cancer again and Takeshi just donated a fucking bone marrow and now has an infection, so he’s panicking while they stuff him with antibiotics so he won’t die. Please tell me how you feel.”

Isao gaped in shock.

They were quiet for awhile.

Isao opened his mouth to say something, but he changed his mind and shook his head, speechless.

Nobu knew what he said hurt, but he also knew that he deserved it.

He did not stop him when he turned to leave.

**

“Ready to go home?”

Sousuke turned around hearing his dad’s voice. He was packing his stuff, eager to leave the hospital after a few good weeks he spent here.

Luckily his body accepted the bone marrow. So far everything seemed fine. But he would not know until tests in a few months. And then remission happened after two years.

He did not have the biggest hope since the cancer already came back once, but what was important was that right now he felt fine. Like after a terrible flu, but quite rested. He did not want to waste time worrying.

He was more concerned about his father who as expected stopped taking care of his health the second they let him out of the hospital. Again he was pale, tired, weight dropped off him quickly. He hid it behind a cheerful smile and pretty clothes, but it was obvious. Sousuke wasn’t letting him fool him anymore.

“I was born ready.”

Takeshi chuckled. “Need help?”

“No, all done.” He looked at Takeshi’s hair. “Florist?”

“Yes, son, I’ve never heard of tying hair up before I’ve met him. He also introduced me to the wonders of breathing air.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “I am actually quite insulted you think he has better knowledge of hair styling than me.”

Sousuke rolled his eyes knowing he won’t see and smiled. “Sorry. I am not the one playing up the non existing romance though.”

“We haven’t been doing anything exceptional lately, but we do have to go out to get Underground sorted. Media will always blow it out of proportion.” Why was he even explaining himself to the brat?

Sousuke nodded.

“Anyway, get out of the disgusting hat, what is this even, I have something better.” Takeshi smiled brightly and took the black and blue shawl off his neck.

“Here we go,” Sousuke sighed and sat on the bed.

“Don’t be a whiny little bitch, that’s not how I have raised you.” Takeshi’s voice was a mumble as he held clips between his teeth ready to put them in the shawl to hold it in place.

“So where we’re going?” Sousuke asked when Takeshi finished his work proudly.

The doctor let him out of the hospital a week earlier than he was meant to, but only when he agreed that he will live with his father for the time being.

“To your favourite house of course.” Takeshi tried to grab his bag but Sousuke slapped his hand away.

His father still managed to be thinner than him. It was ridiculous.

Takeshi rolled his eyes.

**

“House rules?” Sousuke asked jokingly, sitting himself on the island in the kitchen, feet dangling. His dad was putting food in the fridge.

He was so happy to be back home. And to spend a week with his father…

He did not know if he ever was on his own with him and actually looking forward to it.

Sousuke laughed when Takeshi turned around to look at him confused. “We never had house rules.”

“Nice.”

“Actually…” Takeshi interrupted, closing the fridge. The smirk did not mean anything good. “It’s only a week you have to live with me, so make sure you eat well, often, swim, just relax, okay? I will keep an eye on you, but you know how it is.” He wiggled his finger in front of his face.

“Do those rules apply to you too, then?” Sousuke cocked his eyebrow, missing the fact that his father clearly felt like he was not looking forward to living with him at all.

If his father’s eyes could kill he would be dead, so he left quickly.

**

Maybe he could actually make a difference? Sousuke wondered, lying in his bed starring at the ceiling, throwing his American Football ball up and down. Well, theoretically it was his father’s, one he received as a funny gift [A dig at his posture surely], but it was signed so he sneaked it out of his room.

If they were meant to spend this week together, he could as well try to help his dad. If anybody then he should know the best, right? He was the one who had psychological help. He was the one who tried to hurt himself, had panic attacks… He should understand his father the most.

But he did not really know what was causing his father’s self-hatred. That was it right? Was this why he was starving himself? What else could it be?

Maybe he could at least make him eat with him.

He went through awful few weeks, chemotherapy and the transplant… As expected his weight dropped visibly, muscles shrinking. He did not look healthier than his father, perhaps mostly because he did not know the wonders of make up, but he was still bigger than him. He wasn’t used to people being this thin. He was personally very muscly, but even Rin who was smaller had a fit body, and Kisumi who was naturally thin, hated exercise and had pretty much no muscles still had enough flesh on himself to not terrify everybody around.

He always wondered why his father wore gloves or at least many bracelets around his wrists, but when Sousuke saw how thin his wrists were he started wondering whether it was his way of hiding the evidence of his own sickness.

He had no idea how anorexia worked, he never dealt with eating disorders, but he heard they did not even see themselves in the mirror as they actually looked. But it seemed his father knew how to hide his thinness, didn’t it? So he was aware? Maybe everybody suffered differently?

He threw the ball away. Was dad even diagnosed? Or was it just common knowledge?

Sousuke sighed frustrated.

“Sousuke, come downstairs!” Father shouted from there, so lazily he moved his butt off the bed and made his way to the living room.

**

“Rin?” Sousuke stood shocked on the stairs, noticing Rin sitting on the leather sofa by the fireplace. 

Takeshi was putting his short coat on and opening the door to leave.

“Erm, dad?”

“I’m being very considerate and leaving. See you!” He waved and left quickly.

The room became quiet, Rin looking up at him.

He looked so gorgeous, hair longer and a little curly, pregnant tummy visible. Rin smiled unsurely at him and patted the space by himself.

Sousuke slowly sat by him, mind working quickly. He had a feeling that his father was behind this.

He left way too quickly.

“I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t me who figured out that the picture was photoshopped,” Rin began quietly, starring at his jeans, cheeks a little red from being nervous. He hasn’t seen Sousuke for so long. He was scared to meet him after chemotherapies and transplant, worried he will upset him when his heart will broke seeing him so ill and it would show in his eyes. But he held himself together and the jumpy way Sousuke walked downstairs made Rin breath a little easier.

“My father found you,” Sousuke said the obvious.

“Yeah,” Rin tried to grin but it came out a little awkward. “He explained everything to me.”

“I’m sure that was a sweet conversation.” Sousuke laughed quietly, hiding his face in his hands. Oh God…

“Say whatever you want, your father will always freak me out.” Rin shook his head. He was quite proud of himself for calling Takeshi and demanding to know if Sousuke is back home yet so he could see him. Shockingly the man actually told him when they would be back so he could come to visit.

“He’s like a lamb, what are you talking about.” Sousuke grinned, bending his fingers anxiously.

Rin side-eyed him, making him laugh again.

“I guess that was a payback for asking about his love life. Sorry.”

“Oh my God, he’s really with Florist?” Rin’s jaw dropped. The more media was screaming about them, the more he was beginning to think that it was all a joke or PR, especially when they began wearing each other’s jewellery. He did not know how pretending to be together helped their careers but if it did…

“Apparently not.”

“Apparently?”

“I don’t know when my father is lying,” Sousuke shrugged. “Not my business anyway.”

Rin smiled. “Yeah… Anyway. He told me a few harsh words that made me think. Finally.” He scratched his head and looked at Sousuke. “I am sorry for leaving.”

He spent so long wondering what he should tell Sousuke and not much but a quick explanation and the most important word ‘sorry’ was everything he came up with. Now he was even a little glad that Takeshi did not let him close to Sousuke for a few weeks, so he could clear his mind and did not make a joke out of himself, crying and trying to blame Sousuke while apologising to him. It took time to understand what was the biggest problem.

“In normal circumstances I would run after you and tell you the truth,” Sousuke said quietly, shrugging. “It’s my fault.” He was disappointed that Rin have left so easily, hoping he trusted him more. But considering the fact that he never was cheated on, he did not know how he would react, so he did not feel like judging too much.

They were not perfect, they were still young. They could make mistakes if they knew how to fix them later.

“No, that’s the thing.” Rin turned to face him properly. “I shouldn’t have left. After you trusted me with everything, did so much for me, proved how much you love me, and even for the simple fact that we have a home and a child on its way… I should have stayed and heard your explanation. I am sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Sousuke smiled. He did not really know what else to do. He wanted to hug him so tight he’d hear his heart beating against his chest, kiss those beautiful sweet lips. He missed him so much, he was so afraid he would never see him again. And their child… He could have never met him.

If only his father did not interfere again.

He really needed to start appreciating him more.

Rin wasn’t perfect. He was so far from perfect for their world with how naïve he could be. But no one said he could not change.

Since he was pregnant he stopped preparing him for their world. But now, the closer they were to being parents, the closer they were to coming back to certain normality. Well, at least to a situation where he could train him again.

There wasn’t “come back” for them anymore, there was only waiting for their lives to change drastically.

He just really hoped he’s going to be able to witness it.

“I love you,” Rin whispered.

And in that moment he kissed him exactly as he dreamed.

**

Takeshi walked in the quieter streets, kicking the stone in front of his feet, hands in his pockets. It was getting cold lately, the summer long forgotten.

And what a shitty summer it was.

Sousuke’s cancer. Losing Isao. Getting cut, and insulted, and drowned by his father.

The last time he hated himself this much was when he was treating Sousuke badly, but he was so deeply ensured that he was doing the right thing, he was so different, so cold and closed off that in a way he stopped feeling. It was terrifying when he was recalling those moments of madness.

But it was good to not feel. Maybe becoming mad was the only reason he completely did not lose it then. As twisted as the logic was, becoming a monster helped him from breaking into pieces he was now.

Before those days his father knew how to make him take the knife. He could make him hate himself so badly just with words that often Takeshi was the one who was punishing himself physically to take the mental pain away. Father hit him sometimes, reaching the point of madness, but he was worse for himself than anybody else could.

He took the phone out of his pants when it rang.

“Sousuke?”

“Hey, dad. Rin left so you can come back home.”

“You did not make up?” he asked surprised, shivering a little. It really was getting cold.

“Look at you all concerned!” His son laughed. “We did. But we were meant to spend the week together, right? He did not want to move here and then to our apartment just a week later, so we will just move together next week.”

Takeshi cocked his eyebrow, humming in the phone. That was some right bullshit he was hearing. Someone was meant to keep an eye on Sousuke, so if he wanted to he could have moved with Rin to the apartment now. He would not stand in their way.

That meant he stayed on purpose.

That meant that he was planning to be the babysitter, not the babysitted.

He sighed in the phone. “Okay. Whatever you…”

He did not finish as he was suddenly hit hard in the back of his head. The phone fell out of his hand when he hit the floor and the glass broke on the stone ground loudly as he felt his eyesight darkening for a few seconds.

It was enough time to get caught by hair and be dragged harshly to the alley. Then he could finally turn around. He gasped.

Isao’s father was standing in front of him, bright smile on his face. It made him feel sick.

“I knew that if I will give you a few weeks you will start feeling so safe that you will simply fall back in my arms, you little whore,” he said calmly, taking steps forward as Takeshi tried to move back only to hit the dirty cold wall. It was so quiet.

Takeshi was breathing quickly, body shaking and paralysed in fear. They were completely alone here. It was getting late, people did not walk in those streets at this time.

He was going to die.

**

“Dad? DAD!” Sousuke shouted in the phone. They were talking with his father when the sound was cut. It sounded like the phone hit the ground.

Did someone attack Takeshi?

He did not consider options, he grabbed the nearest keys from the table and ran to the car.

He had no idea where his dad went so he raised the alarm. He even called Florist.

**

This time the man did not speak much.

It was obvious he came to quickly kill him, not wanting to waste time and give someone a chance to save him, when he hit him hard in his face to make him even dizzier and more vulnerable, and then grabbed him by his throat, big hand closed so tightly around it that he could not even choke.

He was like a rag doll, feet dangling in the air as he held him up against the wall. 

It was an automatic reaction to desperately try to claw his hands off, but the man did not react at all, looking him straight into eyes, not even blinking when tears escaped his.

It was stupid to cry if you always wanted to die.

He deserved a painful death. For everything he did. Especially for how he treated his son.

What did he fear? That everybody will finally be free of him?

He should be thankful.

But he wished he weren’t dying in hands of someone who deserved his death the least. Someone who hurt him the most, right after his father, and that only for loving his son.

As much as he did not deserve Isao, he only loved him. He would do everything for him. Love not wanted was still simply pure love. If he was the burden Isao never knew how to get rid of, then if anybody then Isao deserved to be the man’s hands now.

When the man attacked him that morning Isao left for work, he made it clear the issue was him, not the fact that he was a male. Isao deserved better. Isao did not deserve a whore. Isao did not deserve something that even his father was too disgusted to touch. Isao was educated, he did not deserve an idiot who always ruined everything.

Isao deserved an intelligent partner. A beautiful one.

He became a boss? Only through being a man who was worth looking up to, but one he wasn’t in reality. Only because he had help. Everybody did everything for him. He did not deserve the title.

Beautiful? He wasn’t, and the man made sure cutting through his skin with every hurtful word, but it wasn’t needed. He was weak, he was ugly, and he knew because there were no lies in the man’s eyes.

Diseases, he was so weak mentally. For a man like him knowing that someone was sick enough to hurt, starve, try to kill themselves, was the most pathetic he could imagine.

He was no man worth his son.

He was a worthless rag doll desperately clinging to Isao and taking his happiness away with his problems and filthy self, blind to the obvious truth.

Isao deserved someone worth showing off.

He felt sick when the man made him realise why Isao never wanted to be public with him. It wasn’t the fear of his father.

Isao did not want to be associated with Takeshi.

And he was so dumb daring to think there was nothing wrong with him. That he was worth him.

It hurt to know the truth. All the time that he teased him, quietly tried to persuade him into coming out, thinking he’s just afraid but together they could win with everything…

He did not see the obvious disgust Isao felt.

Who on earth would he want to show himself with him? He was the problem, not coming out.

Why did he dare to think that he was worth the trouble and love?

He feared for Sousuke but he knew that he was fine now, and he did not need him anymore. He had money, business in good shape, his pregnant boyfriend, home, and he felt well again.

The boys hated him for associating with Florist, considered him a piece of nothing as much as everybody else. None of them would care, they would breath out in relief hearing he was finally gone.

Florist probably planned to kill him anyway.

He was never good enough for Isao. No matter how much he tried. Sometimes love wasn’t enough.

He closed his eyes imagining them all happy, not wanting to remember the eyes filled with hatred and disgust as last, starring into his right now. He imagined the sea by Isao’s mother’s home, where they spend relaxing days away from problems, listening to the wind and waves hitting the beach.

Always hidden. Away from the judging eyes. And him, too happy to wonder why always like that.

He wondered whether Isao hated those moments too, but he loved them so much that he did not notice.

He wondered how difficult it was for his mother to pretend to love him.

His heart burned realising how stupid he was not seeing the obvious, not seeing people laughing behind his back.

He should have stopped being the burden a long time ago.

If he could, he would thank the man himself. He hoped no one would kill him, to prove to the public that they cared.

He just let his hands drop, looking into the hateful eyes one more time.

It was the way he deserved to go.

Finally seeing the truth.

Not imagining fake happiness, dancing like a puppet in blissful lies who did not have guts to face reality.

It was good to not feel again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments, messages, and kudos <333 They're so important to me, even a few words. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	48. Bury me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Come break me down  
> Bury me, bury me  
> I am finished with you  
> Look in my eyes  
> You're killing me, killing me  
> All I wanted was you

Death was bullshit.

Perhaps he should actually write about the irony of it, only if he weren’t a shitty writer.

Innocent people die everyday, but when he actually wants to die, death kicks him in the ass.

Thanks. Asshole.

Or was this supposed to be his hell? Being kept alive.

If death needed a reason to take him away and nothing was enough then surely being a melodramatic bitch would do it? Maybe he should start whining to everybody so badly that they would shoot him right in the head? Would that work?

The issue was that he could scream in his head, but the moment he opened his mouth with intent on telling that he’s feeling so fucking awful lately that he dreams of killing himself and wakes up smiling, he could not breath out a word.

He was keeping strong and pretending everything is fine for so long that when he finally felt he could let go, he felt happy. Calm. It was the end, it wasn’t suicide for which they would find his ghost and beat the shit out of, it was murder. Everything was fine.

His throat tightened when he realised he was still alive.

“Don’t move. And don’t talk.” He heard before he even opened his eyes. But he already knew where he was. It’s not that he was emotionally attached to Nalin’s leather sofa, but the room always smelled of fresh flowers or candles he made himself.

Takeshi was cosy wrapped in a soft blanket pulled right under his chin, feeling the warmth of the fire in the fireplace on his cheeks, but his head and throat hurt badly.

“Dad?”

He blinked his eyes open hearing Sousuke. Kiddo kneeled right by him, worried face and the shawl he had given him still wrapped around his head.

Everything was blurred, but this was definitely Florist’s private living room.

He looked up and saw Nalin standing behind the back of the sofa, hands on top of it. He smiled, a weak attempt to lift the corner of his lips, and moved to sit right by him. “You died for a bit. You have a concussion. A few broken ribs thanks to your idiot. But, hey, your neck isn’t broken.” Nalin shrugged. “Could have been worse.” Takeshi would normally laugh.

“Who do you call an idiot?” That was definitely Akira and he quickly showed up by Nalin, clearly hoping the hate in his eyes could actually kill him.

“You.” Nalin did not even blink.

Akira’s hands formed into fists. “I was trying to save his life!”

“Learn a basic CPR then, would you? You nearly finished him off, not saved him.”

Akira moved, but then Nobu quickly walked up to him and caught him by the arms. “Don’t. Come on, not the time.”

Were they all here?

His question was quickly answered as Kin patted the top of the sofa, so he moved his head to look up at him, and Iwao was there too, both smiling. “Hey, boo.”

“Hey.” His throat burned and body winced, quickly convincing him to not talk anymore.

Why were they happy he was here?

“Okay, now you focus.” Nalin took his hand in his. “I don’t want you to talk or move, so you will tighten your hand on mine for ‘yes’ and do nothing for ‘no’, deal?”

Yes.

“Good. I know you’re in pain overall, but does anything hurt really badly?”

No.

“Can you breath well?”

Yes. Okay, maybe not well, but he was breathing.

“Do you need anything?”

No. They would not shoot him in the head if he asked anyway.

Florist hummed. “You’re going to be okay,” he murmured, closing his hands around his.

Ah, all right. He was just checking if he was contacting. Wasn’t his brain meant to die after not getting air for long enough?

He would probably be kept alive as a vegetable too, just so he would notice that middle finger right in front of his face.

He didn’t have strength to keep his eyes open, but he could hear quiet chatting. But not Sousuke, yet he could feel his perfume, so he couldn’t have left. Poor kid with a fucked up father who needs watching over.

He was meant to watch over his sick son.

“Why he’s so weak?” Sousuke asked. “Shouldn’t he feel better?”

Because he was weak and useless yet his son saw him as God knows what. Maybe it was difficult to admit that your father was worth shit.

“I would be surprised if he would,” Nalin explained. “Strangling alone causes headaches and dizziness, even hallucinations, but he was also hit in the head. Be happy he can breath.”

“I’m happy he’s alive,” Sousuke said quietly.

“That took some group work,” Nalin admitted.

Takeshi opened his eyes, hoping he will tell more.

“Isao got to you first.”

He froze.

“He pulled the animal off you, but he shot him and ran away. Don’t worry, the bullet barely touched his arm. Then Akira jumped in and broke your ribs. I mean,” he sighed. “Tried to save your life, of course.” He smiled at Akira and Takeshi was even a little proud that Akira stayed sat on the small coffee table instead of punching him in the face, boiling inside but trying to pretend he’s calm as he smiled back, mouth in a thin line.

Isao saved him.

It was quiet when Isao showed up, clearly staying out of his sight earlier. There was a bandage around his arm, hiding a little behind his black t-shirt. He looked fine, so his father really did not do anything bad to him.

Why would his father attack him? His own son? Was this some next step? Was he really ready to even hurt Isao to set him free off Takeshi? That did not even make sense.

“Hey...”

Takeshi did not move, starring at him in shock. It’s been so long since the last time he saw him. They never separated for such a long time, always finding a way to be with each other.

Why was Isao here? How did he know where he was? Why did he save him?

“When I found out that father is back in Tokyo I came back, but since I wasn’t welcomed I decided to stalk you. Basically,” Isao said quietly, starring right into his eyes.

Wasn’t the one who was broken up with meant to meet his ex looking like hundred dollars, because there was something seriously wrong with his beaten up face and inability to talk normally while Isao looked like he slept with a boxing bag those past few weeks. So he was the pathetic bitch in their relationship as usual. No surprise.

“Every teenager’s dream,” Nalin murmured sarcastically to himself, not even looking at him.

“Stay out of this, Florist,” Isao snapped.

“Don’t make me force you stay out of this house, Shigino.”

Now Takeshi started to wonder whether Nalin was so snappy because there were way too many people in his private room. He was shocked he let them all in. He hated people, especially too many of them at once.

“Nobu sent killers out.” Iwao touched Takeshi’s shoulder, so he would focus on him. “They will find him.”

“I said no killers…” he croaked out. No one was even listening to him anymore.

“Takeshi, he tried to murder you again. If not the fact that you were on the phone with Sousuke, no one would even know you were attacked. You would die,” Nobu ignored Isao and Florist and walked past them to kneel by Sousuke. “There’s not a single reason why we should not do it.”

Apart from the fact that maybe he would succeed next time in killing him, no, not really. Not anymore.

He closed his eyes feeling them burning.

Don’t cry, you fucking loser.

When he pressed his shaking fingers to his eyes he hoped that they would think he’s just in pain. He bit his teeth together, not letting a sound escape, begging for his heart to stop aching.

He wished he were alone, because then he would calm down. A few deep breaths in, blink the tears back, smile, and you’re back on track. He did it so many times in his life. But they were here and Sousuke’s arms were around him, hugging him tight and he could not stop the shudder, and then the tears followed as he started sobbing like a complete child.

He was so fucking pathetic. Crying in front of an ex that kicked him in the ass. What was he, an inexperienced teenager? Whole fucking gang, his child, and a theoretical enemy were watching him as he broke apart and he did not even know why he did.

He was such a fucking useless piece of shit.

“All of you, out.”

“WHAT!”

“I said get the fuck out of this room or I will make you,” Nalin stood up. “Get downstairs and don’t touch anything.”

“You can’t kick us out! He needs us!”

“No, he needs all of you to leave so he will actually calm down, because right now you all only stress him out more. OUT!”

“Come on, he’s right.” Isao swallowed hard and grabbed Akira, so others followed them too.

Sousuke did not let go off Takeshi, completely ignoring them, his head buried into Takeshi’s neck, like he could save him from the whole world. He knew dad was way worse than he showed. It was only a matter of time everything will crush over him and make him break down.

He wanted to help so badly, but what could he do?

Nalin did not kick him out, just sat by them.

Takeshi quickly wiped tears off, pushing Sousuke softly away. He had to get his shit together. He couldn’t be so pathetic, nobody would ever take him seriously. He had no reason to be a whiny piece of shit.

No fucking reason.

“Takeshi, stop. You’re hurting yourself.” Nalin caught his hands so he would stop pressing nails into his face. But he did not want them to see him so pathetic, so he turned on his left side, ignoring the pain and curled up, hiding away.

Everything was meant to stop.

“Don’t… Uh.” Nalin sighed, begging for patience. He put his ribs together and he’d appreciate if he would not need to do it again.

He did not have a heart to kick Sousuke out when he held his father desperately, but when he lifted his head to look at him begging for answers he wished he had.

What was he supposed to tell the child? That his father is in pieces? That he needs help? That he just went through too much so he finally broke and probably wishes they hadn’t saved him? That he hates himself?

Takeshi knew how to help himself, but yet again he let the man nearly kill him. If not Sousuke who alarmed them, and Isao who pulled the monster away just when his hands began to twist, it would be the end.

He did not cry scared because he was attacked, he cried because he was still here.

The way his hands twisted in his hair, nails scratching himself, he hated himself so much it hurt to watch. And he was embarrassed instead of asking for help.

Nalin was glad he couldn’t hear what he was telling himself right now, but he could imagine easily.

He knew what hating yourself does to you.

He was surprised Takeshi lasted this long.

“Could you leave us alone?” Nalin asked Sousuke.

“Will you help him?”

He sighed. “I will try.”

Sousuke nodded and stood up, one last time looking at Takeshi before leaving.

“They’re all gone,” Nalin murmured, hand reaching Takeshi’s hair and slowly beginning to stroke them. Takeshi wasn’t crying anymore, just hiding curled up, hoping the world will swallow him up. “Don’t make me hug you and whisper sweet nothing in your ear,” he joked. “Come on, look at me.”

No reaction.

“I know what you’re doing and you really need to stop,” Florist said quietly.

“Why did you save me?” Takeshi choked out. “You knew I don’t want to live anymore, I shouldn’t, I…”

“Takeshi, stop.” He caught his arms and pushed him carefully on his back keeping a hold of him. “Look at me. You believe in bullshit. I don’t know what he told you, but why on earth do you believe someone who fucking hates you guts? Don’t be an idiot!”

“He hates me so he doesn’t lie.” He pulled his sleeves down and wiped tears off. Someone had to roll the sleeves up for him, the shirt was long and definitely not his.

Nalin starred at him. “Why would they all lie to you?”

“I don’t know!” Takeshi pressed his hands to his face, begging for the stupid tears to stop.

“Why would we save you today? Why would Sousuke raise alarm feeling that maybe something happened? Why would Isao throw himself at his father? You have not seen him. He could have shot him, but he went for blood. He wanted to tear him apart. Akira doesn’t know shit about CPR but indeed he desperately tried his best. Sousuke was terrified, Kin and Iwao had to hold him, so he would not run after the man. Isao did, but he was faster and got into the car, he could not possibly catch him and he was more concerned about you. Nobu quickly shut them up here, so I could help you, and ordered killers out. Isao did not even blink. They did not leave this room since, watching over you. Please tell me why would they be like this if they did not give a damn.”

“I don’t know!” He was shaking.

They hated him, they loved him, he was useless, he was useful, he was a whore, he was innocent, Isao wanted to be free of him, Isao saved him and attacked his dad, they protected him, they wanted him gone…

“Takeshi, calm down. Shh.”

He did not have strength to cry anymore. He just wanted to sleep and not wake up.

“You are an amazing boss.” Nalin wiped his tears off with his thumbs, holding his face. “When you were only nineteen you worked so hard you became a boss of all the bosses. You have no idea how much people fear you. I know what people say behind your back, and trust me, no one takes you as someone not worthy the position.”

“It was my gang, they’re intelligent, they…”

“They carry out your orders.” Nalin shook his head lightly, even he was surprised how deep the denial of all things good was. “Takeshi, you’re beautiful, you’re strong, you’re intelligent, you have power and many fantastic people around you who would do everything for you. Everything that’s here right now,” he touched his forehead, brushing a few strands of hair away, “is your mind working hard to make you feel worthless but it’s not real.”

Seeing him completely refusing to acknowledge what he was saying, he tried something he never thought he would.

“You know, when I… when dad got killed…” Nalin pulled his legs up on the sofa and crossed them, getting more comfortable, letting Takeshi curl up and hug himself again. “I’ve disappeared because I completely broke. I blamed myself. I hated myself. I did not see a reason to live…”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Takeshi choked out.

“And none of the bullshit you’re telling yourself is real yet you still believe it.” Nalin snorted. “Humans like pulling themselves down. The point is to pull yourself up. When you can’t it means you need help.”

“If you’re going to give me a number to your psychologist now…” Takeshi did not feel his nails scratching his arms.

“No.” He laughed. “You probably should have a psychologist, or even a psychiatrist. It’s what I should tell you to do because you’re a fucking mess, but I am no hypocrite and won’t push you to them when I don’t think they do any good myself.”

Takeshi laughed through tears, wincing a little. “Right.” He appreciated the honesty, not cooing and treating him like a child.

“I’ve heard one good thing, though.” He bent a little closer. “If you have no reason to live, then live in spite. There are people who would celebrate if you died, so live to piss them off.” He sighed frustrated, seeing no proper reaction again, just Takeshi shaking his head. He was running out of ideas.

“When I think now how I wanted to end my life all those years ago, I think about my son who wouldn’t have been born, I wouldn’t see him taking first steps, talking his own language getting annoyed that I don’t understand those complicated sentences,” Nalin chuckled. “His first day at school, holidays, seeing the ocean for the first time and his giggly face… God, so many beautiful moments. And me, discovering all the new drugs, flowers, doing wonders. Opening clubs. And fighting with you, trust me it’s fun.” He smiled when Takeshi did. Finally. He was quiet for a moment.

“If you have died when you were still a teenager you would never create Sousuke. You would not become a boss. You would not see all the beautiful places, buy all of those cars, did not meet so many great people… If you died in the monster’s arms a few months ago, you would never discover that Sousuke is ill and he would die because you wouldn’t be here to stop him. Your child is going to be a dad, Takeshi. He needs you. And don’t you want to meet his son, your grandchild? Watch two little feet learn to walk and curious eyes starring into yours waiting for answers about this weird world because they trust grandparents more than parents? You know grandchildren run away to grandparents when they have enough of their parents, right? You have to be available, sweet cheeks.

Or you really want Sousuke to be forced to tell your story through pictures and try to explain to the child how you were taken right before he was born? Curious child who will never meet the one everybody will remember. His granddad. And what about the business if you would die? What about all your friends hurt so much, not being able to believe you’re gone, trying to get used to it and not being able to because the emptiness in heart never goes away? You were with them since the beginning. Have you imagined all of them and your son at the funeral? And long months later meeting somewhere finally together thinking they are healed only to look into a place where you would have normally sat and realise it’s never going to be the same? Remembering all the good moments, blaming themselves, knowing they could have done something? The pain breaking them apart because you all have always been an item so without you it would simply be impossible. And Sousuke, breaking under the pressure of it all? And Isao who would probably shoot himself in the head if he would lose you because of him…”

“Stop. Stop, please.” Takeshi pressed his hands to his ears.

Enough. ENOUGH.

Nalin silenced. He wasn’t sure if this was what he needed to hear. Did Takeshi need even more reasons to blame himself? His intention was to make him realise what your death does to those who love you to make him recognise how loved he is, but now he feared he would only take it as a reason for more self-hatred.

They had to try all the options, though. Something will have to work finally. And if sweet words meant nothing to him, he had to do the same Takeshi did to Sousuke to make him stay.

Even if thinking about everybody but himself was the last thing he needed. But if it would keep him alive before they will figure out what to do…

**

“I’m so sorry…” Akira moved to help Takeshi, but he smiled and waved him off. It was painful to watch him move, clearly in discomfort. The ribs, the neck… The mix of purple and red bruises was terrifying. Takeshi was keeping his arm tightly around his chest, limping from pain, looking small in clothes Nalin put on him. They were both slim, but Takeshi was shorter and even smaller build, not to mention really underweight at this point. Which was the reason why he broke so easily under his hands when he tried to make his heart beat and lungs take air in again. 

“You saved my life and you’re sorry?” Takeshi smiled weakly, grabbing the book he went to take and sat back on the sofa.

It was morning and Akira stayed to keep him company while others went to work. Even Nalin was forced to disappear. Takeshi wasn’t sure whether they would even allow him to be alone until they will catch the man.

“For the ribs.” He quickly moved to sit by him and pulled the blanket around Takeshi, ignoring the side-eye. “How are you feeling anyway?”

“Not the first time I was strangled,” he chuckled. “I will live.” Unfortunately.

Akira pouted visibly unhappy with the lame answer and decided to slip under the blanket and put his cheek on Takeshi’s shoulder.

“What’s up kid?” Takeshi asked, kissing the top of his head.

“You know, I sometimes wonder if I would still be alive if not you…” he murmured.

“Alive and probably with a normal job,” he snorted. Here comes Akira trying to make him feel needed.

Akira shook his head. “It were shitty days, I was ready to give up. But you came, I got money, began a normal life. And then met my beautiful girl. None of this would happen if not you.”

“You can’t give me credit for years of your hard work.”

He bit his lip. “But you don’t want any credit. Lately you’ve been dissing all good words we’ve been telling you. Or it’s like you don’t hear them. But you listen carefully to every bad word, you blame every smallest mistake on yourself, you take everything on your shoulders. Why is that?” He straightened up, trying to catch his eye.

Takeshi looked away. It wasn’t true. He simply did not listen to lies and owed his failures.

“We love you, you know.”

No, they did not. They should not. They simply felt sorry for him now that he showed he knows what’s really happening behind his back. They were good people and it was a normal reaction.

“Why you don’t believe us?”

“I did not say…”

“No, you don’t say anything. That’s the problem.” Akira wasn’t stupid. The rest of the gang always tried hard to keep Takeshi’s problems away from him, but he always knew that Takeshi had issues, and he could not hide his thin form from him, becoming weak. It wasn’t difficult to figure out he had an eating disorder. But he had no idea Takeshi had episodes of such bad depression, that he was so destructive.

“Akira, this isn’t your problem.”

“Yes it is! I care for you as much as everybody else!”

“It’s not their problem either.” Takeshi finally looked at him. “It’s mine.”

“You need help.”

Takeshi wasn’t sure why, but it hurt to hear this so simply and sincerely. Akira was always a ball of sunshine whom somehow he trusted the most because he was always so cheerful and genuine.

Maybe he did need help. Maybe they should lock him up in a shrink. At least they would be free of him and his bullshit.

He was so tired of everything.

Akira knew that Takeshi probably needed to talk about his issues now so they could help him, but seeing him saddening he did not have a heart to continue. He was smiling a few minutes ago, now he was tearful again. And he was on such strong drugs that it was unfair to expect well thought through thoughts from him now.

“Alright let’s talk about guys.” Akira moved to face him, crossing his legs. “Isao or Florist first?”

“Huh?” Takeshi blinked taken aback.

“I’m curious,” he explained, shrugging.

“About what?”

“Are you with Florist now?”

Takeshi rolled his eyes, laughing quietly but sincerely. “Nalin knows better. No.”

“What about Isao?”

“Isao broke up with me a few weeks ago.” He was beginning to consider asking Nalin to give him those drugs so he could take them everyday. They made him feel like he wasn’t really here. He could even talk about being a piece of shit and a whore like about weather.

“He obviously still cares.”

“It’s his job to keep me safe. And that’s very honourable, but now that he showed up we can end the contract and let him go.” He tried to smile, but it did not exactly work out so he looked away.

It was clear the only reason why Isao came back was to fulfil his job. He should have guessed it easily, knowing that Isao is principled, and he wanted to blame it on the concussion that for a second he thought maybe he did love him a little after all, but he was fine now. He wasn’t foolish.

“I thought he left because of guilt…”

“Guilt?” he asked surprised.

“That he let his father hurt you.”

Takeshi smiled. “He seized the moment he could finally be free and took it. And I don’t blame him.” He peaked at the thread in the blanket. “Look. All of us need to meet for work related matters. And even at those times you have different people you can stand by. Then you leave to your girlfriend, family, children. You have your personal happiness and troubles, freedom. But Isao… Since the beginning Isao was forced to be by my side at every step. He never wanted to be my bodyguard, he wanted to be free, go to university, pursue a career. Find love. But he was tied to me and when I fallen in love I made him be by my side wherever I went. Holidays. Shopping. Events. Work. Everywhere. At the end he did not even sleep alone.” He closed his eyes for a moment. It took him weeks to gather it all and understand why Isao really left and it hurt to know how big of a mistake everything was. To realise how he pretty much prisoned the one who just wanted to be free. How blind he was and did not see his unhappiness. All he cared about was himself. “He gave me hints… I ignored them and started whining he should come out.” He shook his head, not believing how selfish and stupid he was. “Everything was a mistake. I did not see how he felt, foolishly ensured he loves me and everything is fine, so I just complained about him being in a closet, thinking his fear of his father is the only thing keeping us from being perfectly happy. All I had to do was open my eyes and see that he was with me because he thought it was his duty,” he swallowed hard, feeling his throat tightening. “All of you are exhausted because of my crap, now imagine spending 24/7 with me. And you will really understand why he ran away when he finally had a chance.”

**

Isao closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to the wall by the door to Florist’s private rooms.

He could not believe what he was hearing.

Never in his life he would guess that by leaving he would make Takeshi think such horrifying things. Never…

“Sucks to hear what he really thinks, huh, lover boy?”

Florist had many talents, and one definitely was managing to make his blood boil just by opening his mouth. Isao turned slowly to face him.

“Congratulations, you and your father did manage to reduce him to… this.” He did not even know how to describe Takeshi’s mental state, but it was terrifying even to him.

“Be a good boyfriend then and don’t repeat my mistakes, asshole,” he spit out. Florist was the last person he would explain himself to.

“Right, boyfriend… You surely made him feel better not giving a damn when he started showing up with me.”

Nalin did not expect to get punched in the face, but a second later he was on the floor with his nose bleeding. Fucking bastard with stone fists.

Sound of footsteps and the door opened, Akira and Takeshi stood in them shocked.

“What the fuck?” Akira gaped.

“Jesus…” Takeshi kneeled by Nalin and made a face. “You’re bleeding.”

“No shit.” Nalin sneered and pressed his sleeve under his nose.

Akira cocked his eyebrow looking at Isao who crossed his arms over his chest.

“He deserved that.” Isao shrugged.

“Right…”

Nalin wished he could have killed him with his sight. He lifted himself up with Takeshi’s help and went to the large bathroom, surprised when he followed him.

He let the water run in the sink and cleaned the blood off his face, letting his head hung until it was all gone.

“Why did he hit you?” Takeshi asked when he dried his face with a towel and sat on the chair, checking if his nose was broken. It did not seem so but it was difficult to check when it hurt like hell whether it was or not.

“Because he’s a dick.”

“Wait, I will get some ice.”

“You don’t need…” But Takeshi was already gone.

He quickly came back with ice wrapped in a towel and carefully pressed it to his face. Florist lifted his hand to take it away but only ended up putting his hand on Takeshi’s. Fuck his face hurt.

“Feeling good on the other side?”

Takeshi chuckled. “I still look worse than you, but it’s good not being the one taken care of for a change.”

“Should have told me to piss off your boyfriend sooner.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Takeshi said quietly.

“Why he punched me in the face when I said we’re dating?”

“You told him we’re dating?”

“Sort of did not say we’re not when he assumed?”

Takeshi shrugged. “He doesn’t like you, probably used the situation.”

Ah, yeah, of course, Nalin thought. Isao fighting for him was an impossible concept.

He should have poured some crap in Isao’s tea in the morning.

Florist pulled him so he would sit in his lap. “Let’s date in spite.”

“I already live in spite, I don’t know if I can have a relationship in spite too.” Takeshi moved the ice higher.

“I know,” Nalin sighed. He wanted to make him laugh. “How are you feeling, anyway?” He rolled Takeshi’s sleeves up. If he would borrow him his clothes a few weeks ago, they would still hang on him, but he would mostly fill them up. Now he looked like a skeleton in clothes from an overweight friend. It even made him feel slightly insecure.

“Surely better than you.” Takeshi made a face and threw the towel in the sink.

“Headache?”

“No.”

“Neck?”

“Neither.”

“The drugs are working well then.”

“If I could live on them everyday I would be very thankful.” He smiled as flirty as he could manage at the moment.

“You mean be practically drunk everyday?” Florist snorted.

“Maybe I should try that.” He seemed to be really considering it so Nalin lightly pushed him off his lap and stood up.

“No alcohol or any other drugs while you’re on mine. And you took more than I prescribed anyway, didn’t you?” He sighed. It wouldn’t be such a problem because they made Takeshi feel happiness, but once the drugs will stop working, being the strongest in the last seconds, his mood will worsen quickly. And this was why you had to take the correct amount.

“Just a little.” Takeshi scratched his neck.

“When did you take them?”

“About eight.”

Florist looked at his watch. “You will feel sick in a few minutes.”

Right on time he did, paling on his eyes. Nalin sighed when Takeshi bent over the toilet, choking mostly on his breath since as he expected he ate nothing.

“I said the dosage and that you must eat something…” he said mostly to himself.

“Fuck you.” Well, Takeshi heard him anyway.

**

“Why did you punch him?” Akira snorted quietly when both he and Isao sat on the sofa.

“For shoving in my face how they’re together now.” Isao did not feel sorry.

“They’re not together, I asked Takeshi.”

“Why they’re playing up this shit then?” Isao growled frustrated.

Akira shrugged. “I’d be more concerned about something else if I were you.”

Isao knew what he meant and felt ashamed getting worked up over a stupid joke. Takeshi thought the worst of himself and went as far as to believe Isao never loved him, that he was pretending because he thought it was his duty and Takeshi used it against him. He wanted to tear his father apart for implementing that idea in his head, he wished someone punched him in the face for not thinking what leaving might do to already then fragile Takeshi.

But he was not going to weep over himself like he did already and more than enough. He was going to win Takeshi back and most important, help him get healthy again.

Both Akira and him looked up when Florist and Takeshi came back, but it was Takeshi who was being held up by him, white in the face so the bruises looked even worse. Nalin sat him by Isao on the sofa when Akira moved, and took place by Akira on the coffee table.

“When I write down the dosage and clear instruction… I mean it.” He looked at Akira.

“Hey, it’s my fault.” Takeshi put his hand on his heart, clearly still feeling dizzy and quickly grabbed the blanket and slipped under it.

It was a torture for Isao to be so close to Takeshi and not being able to touch him. He just wanted to put his arms around him, hug, kiss. He missed him so much and seeing him so fragile, both bodily and mentally scared him.

Isao wished Takeshi were mad at him. Hate him. Hit him. So he would need to stand on his head to win his heart again, beg him for forgiveness, because Takeshi would be so angry that he would feel as if he had not a single chance. So it would be only on him. This was how it should be.

But it wasn’t. His job wasn’t to beg, it was to somehow make him trust him, so he would believe he’s everything to him, and that nothing he’s telling himself is true. Now Takeshi was acting like he wasn’t even here.

“I can’t give you them for the night now,” Nalin explained. “So it’s not going to be a peaceful one for you.”

“Great.” The fact that they were stopping to work was already visible with every second he was becoming weaker and more uncomfortable.

His phone rang then and Nalin handed it to him. Takeshi paled realising it was Isao’s mother. What did she want from him? He wasn’t sure if he wished to know.

“Hello?” He would normally leave but he did not have anymore strength today.

“Takeshi, sweetie. I have a proposition for you.”

Typical for Isao’s mother, quick and straight to the point in a way that always made him stutter.

“Um, yes?”

“You need to come over finally, while the weather isn’t the worst. It is meant to be a warm week. Take all your friends, please grab my son who I can’t get into contact with either, I don’t know what that brat is thinking, and most importantly, take the kids.”

Oh, my God. She knew nothing of what happened lately. He could feel himself panicking.

“I can’t… I can’t, but… Isao’s here, I will hand the phone to him.” Takeshi did it quickly, the phone nearly falling when Isao caught his hand. He wrapped tighter in the blanket, feeling ill.

She was so sweet to him. When he knew none of it was sincere, that she was forced to, too… He always thought she loved him as much as his mother. Or maybe more. She was his little guardian angel.

She always helped him when his thoughts were becoming dark, the only person who could make his sick brain work again. And she made him eat.

She probably treated it as her job. You don’t need to love your patients after all.

“Mom?” Isao asked surprised, worried when Takeshi curled away.

“What’s wrong?” Nalin asked quietly, putting his hand on Takeshi’s knee.

He shook his head.

Isao left the room with the phone, probably to discuss what his mother should have known before making the call. She did not need to pretend anymore. They were free off him.

He put his head on the pillow and closed his eyes, feeling the headache coming back full force.

**

“How could you not call me earlier?” Isao did not need to see his mother now to know she put her hand over her mouth in shock, heart aching.

She loved Takeshi as much as she loved him. She would protect him with her life. And she always wished them the best and bashed him when he did not treat Takeshi like a little prince.

It was difficult to tell her about what father did, what he did, the state Takeshi was in. It finally sank in his mind completely when he did, and now he just begged for her to give him some advice. Help.

“I am sorry.” He knew he was foolish.

“You need to bring him here. This was the only place where he always felt safe and might I add, I’m the only person he let help him. I don’t know how, but you have to do it. I will do the rest…”

“He’s really ill mom,” he said quietly. “You have not heard him, I don’t know if you would manage…”

“I know him better than you do, son. And what you’ve told me are fears he always struggled with, he simply truly believes them now while then he was healthy enough to realise they’re unreasonable. He needs love, not a shrink where they will tie him to a bed and drug so much he won’t know who he is.”

Isao cringed.

“I will do my best.”

**

“I won’t be able to be here for most of the night because I need to prepare a few things for sale, so you might appreciate some company…” Nalin grinned when the excited dog quickly reached to lick Takeshi’s face, which he made a disgusted noise at and moved back. But he did pet him when the dog put his big head on the sofa right where he was lying on his side.

“I don’t mind staying…” Isao walked up to behind the sofa. He wasn’t sure whether Takeshi was simply starting to feel ill again because the drugs were running out, he was curled up under the blanket shivering a little, or his mother’s phone call reminded him of what he ensured himself of.

He just wanted to help him. “I will stay out of your way if you wish.”

Takeshi did not say anything.

“It would be better if he stayed, someone should be here. He can fetch me if you would feel ill. Won’t need to use the dogs.” Nalin smirked and patted the beast. The other dog wasn’t too interested in them and went to sleep by the fireplace.

Isao crossed his arms on his chest and wondered when Florist would finally burn in hell.

Takeshi shrugged and Nalin realised he was pretty much asleep already anyway, so he grabbed another blanket and pulled it over him seeing him trembling a little.

“Stay.” He patted the dog’s head and stood up. “You too.” He snorted at Isao and left without another word.

Akira followed him right after patting Isao on the back trying to show a little support.

Isao breathed out in relief when they went, relaxing. Nalin was going to make his life hell, but maybe it was a simple world order, when Takeshi did not have strength to punch him in the face like he deserved then Nalin made sure to stick a few needles in.

He sat slowly at the end of the sofa, looking at Takeshi’s small face, covered in new and old bruises. And the blue, red and purple bruises on his neck… He could still see his father’s hands twisting. One more second and he would snap his neck and even Florist would not have saved him. He wasn’t sure whether anybody else would earlier either. Akira was desperately trying to make Takeshi breath but he was not reacting at all, blue lips and lifeless form. Florist pushed Akira away, poured something down Takeshi’s throat and his lungs filled with air making him choke.

It were the longest seconds of Isao’s life.

During those few months his family caused Takeshi so much pain that he thought he should just leave and let Takeshi find someone who would love him as much as him, but not hurt him, not make him hide…

Maybe he was simply selfish and he wanted him too much to leave, but he wasn’t sure if anybody but him could help Takeshi either.

“You don’t need to be here,” he heard a quiet voice and jumped startled. Takeshi opened his eyes a little. He looked like in his worst nightmares.

“I want to be here,” Isao whispered.

With a wince Takeshi turned on his back, arm around his ribs. “Get a lawyer, I will pay. We can end the contract and you can leave.”

Isao closed his eyes for a moment and then moved closer, Takeshi looking at him unsure, maybe a little scared.

God.

“I love you. I left because I love you. I thought it would keep you safe, Takeshi. There’s nothing else behind my actions but trying to do the right thing.”

Takeshi felt like laughing, but he was too tired. He could imagine them all teaming up and deciding to ensure him they all love him so much so he would finally get his shit together and stop bothering them. Nalin was beginning to be so tired, hiding in his chambers from him. He was meant to leave so he would get his peace again but instead he was back annoying him. Others had work they could be free in, poor Akira was chosen to babysit. He felt most sorry for Isao who was dragged back and since he was meant to be the boyfriend and bodyguard, now had to pretend everything was for his good and he simply loved him.

He wanted them to stop.

Seeing Takeshi not believing a word he was saying hurt Isao. But what was worse was him seemingly wiping his face and Isao thought he cried, but that wasn’t the case. He was inflicting pain pressing his fingers in the bruises, nails sharp. He did not know whether it was conscious or unconscious and he wasn’t sure what would be worse.

“Don’t, please.” He caught his small hands softly, freezing in his warm, ignoring the dog that growled. But Takeshi did not pull away, letting him hold him. “Takeshi, I have a proposition.” He always used his name when he was ill and he tried to get his attention. It worked wonders. “So as you know mom is mad at me for not bringing you over to her…” he smiled. Repeating over and over and over again that Takeshi means the world to him won’t work. Everybody constantly talked to him and tried to change his mind-set, but he felt like he had to prove it to him, show it to him, and not tell him. Maybe then he would trust and believe again. Understand how what he’s telling himself just doesn’t make sense. Words could be empty, actions not. When he left he knew he wouldn’t ever come back like nothing happened. He always knew he would need to win him over again. And he was ready for it, he would be the teenager trying to steal the prince’s heart again. Maybe starting from the beginning was the most sufficient way. “She wants to see you, kids, the whole gang. Do you think we can do it for her?”

He knew Takeshi loved his mom and would do anything for her.

**

“Thank you for help, mom left for a weekend with her new boyfriend.” Rin grinned when Sousuke put the grocery on the small table in the kitchen.

“No problem, love.”

Sousuke helped him put everything in place, moved around the heavy bottles. When they finished they sat in the living room, teas and cookies ready.

“Will you tell me what’s going on now?” Rin asked.

He would need to be blind to not see that Sousuke wasn’t really with him today. Something was clearly bothering him.

Sousuke did not want to tell, surely his father wouldn’t want him to. But he felt like he was going to suffocate.

“Isao’s father attacked dad yesterday night.”

“Is he okay?” Rin asked unsurely.

“No…” Sousuke stirred the tea with the small spoon. “He’s really not.”

“What did he do to him?”

“Hit him, tried to suffocate. He nearly snapped his neck…”

“Jesus…” Rin cringed. As cold as his relationship with Takeshi was he would never wish him to suffer as much as he was doing lately. And he could not imagine being put through such horrors simply for loving someone. It was like Takeshi would slice his body open, drawn him, hit him, suffocate him, all simply for loving Sousuke.

It was so fucking sick. Takeshi hasn’t done shit to the man.

“He’s a mess,” Sousuke said quietly. “I never… I never saw anyone this… “ He breathed out. “It broke him. What Isao did, what his father did…” He shook his head. “You can tell he just… He hates himself. So much. And it makes me so damn angry because he should hate them. He should hate that fucker for hurting him and send killers out, look for him himself in order to make him suffer as much. He should slap Isao for leaving him and being a piece of shit of a boyfriend. Fight with him. Like… Like dad normally would. But he cried, he seems scared, he doesn’t eat, he hurts himself… I heard Florist talking with Nobu about the crap dad made himself believe, and it’s just… Scary.”

Rin could not even imagine Takeshi in such state so he could understand why Sousuke was feeling so uneasy and worried.

“You know… I had terrible moments, Rin. Panic attacks. Self-hatred isn’t so uncommon…” Sousuke never really talked about it, but if he was telling his father’s secret he might as well his own. “But I had help. I had pills. It all helped, I was never in such awful state. Dad did not let me hurt myself. But I feel like what I received then would not help dad.” He shook his head. “He’s so down…”

Rin stood up and slipped in his lap to hug him, not knowing what to say. Sousuke hugged him back gladly. “There’s nothing you can do, Sousuke. Just keep on loving him, I think that’s what he needs the most now.” He grasped his hand and put on his pregnant belly, letting Sousuke feel the kick. “Boy, we will need that man.” He bumped his head lightly in Sousuke’s with a smile.

Sousuke chuckled. “You think we won’t manage the little imp?”

“I’m sure the devil he had to take after will be of much appreciated help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet, I think! Hope you enjoyed!  
> Thank you so much for all the comments, kudos, and messages. I love them, they make my day <3 They mean the world.


	49. Welcome to England

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is no point treating a depressed person as though she were just feeling sad, saying, ‘There now, hang on, you’ll get over it.’ Sadness is more or less like a head cold- with patience, it passes. Depression is like cancer.”

“Shhh.” Isao stroked Takeshi’s hair when the nightmares took over his peaceful dreams. He was feverish, body trembling. Isao did not want to touch him at the beginning, because Takeshi would not wish it, but when he did and he calmed down underneath his touch, he stayed.

There was a quiet sound of the door opening and closing and Nalin showed up. 

“High temperature?” he asked, voice nearly soundless.

“And nightmares.” Isao hated him but wasn’t planning to make helping Takeshi more difficult. He did not know what Nalin wanted out of it, but at the moment it wasn’t important.

He could always deal with him later if there was a need.

Nalin put his hand on Takeshi’s forehead. He stilled under his touch as well, but he continued to breathe unsteadily, cheeks red.

Nalin let go and went to his desk as Takeshi curled up on his side. Isao cringed when Nalin came back with a syringe and lifted Takeshi’s sleeve to insert the needle. He didn’t have time to look at him so closely earlier, but now the bruises his father had given Takeshi were clear in the light from the fireplace.

So many deep wounds, still visible.

Takeshi calmed after a few seconds.

Nalin sat at the end of the sofa, stretching legs out comfortably, head rested with eyes closed. He actually did look tired, even if Isao preferred to believe he was being an ass ignoring him.

But it was his freaking room after all.

He did not even flinch when Takeshi moved again to turn on his back and stretched his legs bumping into him, instead he helped him unconsciously put them over his lap leaving his hand over them. Isao expected some sarcastic remark but he clearly wasn’t in the mood anymore.

They were quiet until Takeshi started having nightmares again, this time waking up with a shout. He sat up wrapped in the blanket, disoriented not knowing where he is. Isao held him so he would calm down.

“Shh, pretty boy.” Nalin touched Takeshi’s face and he finally focused on him, relaxing.

Isao wasn’t sure if he knew who was holding him but it was enough he felt safe. Takeshi did not push them away.

Maybe deep inside his intuition knew better.

Isao held him closely like he could heal him just like that. He did not remember him this small and sick, and now curled up in his arms, clinging to him with his head on his shoulder, so exhausted, he just begged to be protected.

Isao wanted to take him to another world where no one would lift their hand at him again.

“Shall I make you some tea?” Nalin asked quietly.

Takeshi shook his head weakly.

“Then try to get some more sleep, the night’s young.”

**

Takeshi woke up feeling like he just went through an awful flu. He jumped a little startled when Sousuke showed above him and grinned.

“What have you done to them?” he laughed quietly.

Takeshi looked around confused. Isao was right by his side, arm thrown over his middle, Nalin was sleeping in his legs, and both were definitely not comfortable in the weird positions they had to fall asleep in.

Takeshi brushed his hair back with his hand and lifted himself, waking Isao up. He tugged at Nalin’s plait as Isao rubbed his eyes tiredly.

“Are you two insane?” he asked, shivering a little. He felt like crap. “You’ve got beds here.”

Isao did not say anything, seemingly half asleep, while Nalin stretched and finally looked at him. “You wept for us to stay so we did.”

Takeshi burned red and spluttered. “No, I did not!”

Sousuke laughed. At least Takeshi got some colour in his face.

“How are you feeling?” Isao asked quietly.

“I’m fine.” Takeshi hugged himself, hair pointing in all the possible ways.

Sousuke sat behind him, pushing him closer to Florist. Takeshi turned his head to look at him pretending to be insulted so he only grinned at him.

“Will you ever learn how to do the shawl right?” Takeshi asked him seriously.

“You’re drugged, dad.” Sousuke patted him on the back, quickly stopping when he winced. Takeshi was skin and bones.

“I’m not.”

“You are. I wanted to give you a night of detox, but you started getting too sick.” Nalin tapped his knees.

Takeshi murmured something under his nose that they did not hear.

**

Takeshi closed his eyes and breathed in air before letting the water surround him in the bath. He should probably be embarrassed about the fact that he can’t even bath alone, but he could not care less at the moment. Everything seemed pointless lately.

He lost his dignity when he cried in front of everybody.

When he resurfaced Nalin chuckled and seeing his confused face pointed at the bubbles on his head.

Well at least there were enough so he wasn’t flashing his naked ass in front of him.

“Feeling better?”

Takeshi mumbled happily. Rhetorical question. When you spend whole night sweating, breathing in drugs, getting injected, lord knows what else, a bath was a dream come true.

“Move a little to the front so I could reach your back. Let’s try the new product, we need to get rid of the bruises finally.”

Takeshi did as told, hugging his knees. “Gahh, freezing!” He jumped when Nalin touched his back.

He laughed. “It will warm up in a moment, calm down.”

“I don’t know if Isao told you, but we’re meant to visit his mother with the whole gang.” He put his chin at the top of his knees.

“Good for you.”

“It’s pointless for me to go, but if she insists I can’t say no.”

“At least it will make your thoughts busy…”

Takeshi knew Nalin wasn’t really focused on what he was saying, busy with ensuring every inch of his back and arms was covered, so he smiled, trying to get his attention again; “At least you will have a week free of me.”

Nalin furrowed his eyebrows. “Why does it sound like I won’t have any contact with you.”

“She lives in England, there’s no proper signal where the house is.”

Nalin stilled.

“What?” Takeshi asked.

He shrugged, but it was so obvious that what he said was bothering him, touch not as soft anymore.

“Hey, flower boy.” He turned around so Nalin would have no other choice but to answer him.

“It’s none of my business.” Nalin caught his shoulders to turn him back, but Takeshi refused quickly grabbing his elbow, so he sighed. “It’s nothing.”

“You’re pissed off,” Takeshi said the obvious. “Cut the bullshit, be honest.”

“I am just… surprised.”

“Surprised?”

Nalin stood up frustrated. “What about drugs? You’re ill, you need help, but you’re just going to leave lord knows where…” he said quickly.

“I thought you would… pack…” Takeshi stuttered, surprised with the outburst.

“Oh.” Nalin laughed. “Florist will prepare the drugs and fuck off. How fucking usual…” He went to the sink to clean his hands, scrubbing them angrily.

“I did not mean it like that…” Takeshi said quietly, shaken. He did not want Nalin to feel like he was just using him. He wasn’t using him…

Was he?

“Finish putting the lotion over your body, I will prepare the drugs.” He left before Takeshi could even open his mouth again.

He sat in the silence hugging himself, digging his nails into his arms.

**

Takeshi unsurely went back to the private living room and walked over to where the desk was. Nalin was scribbling quickly on the sheet of paper, frustrated biting his teeth together.

“And here I thought I was doing you a favour,” Takeshi murmured, putting his hand on the sheet of paper, bending a little so Nalin would have no choice but to look up at him.

He did, clearly pissed off. “Hands off.”

“Or what?” Takeshi started crumpling the paper, just slightly. “You’re going to hit me?”

He knew he would. And he knew how much it was going to sting because Florist had the best bitch slap he ever felt on his face, sharp nails and rings ensuring to leave bright red lines on your face.

He laughed when he hit the floor, wincing as his broken ribs reminded about themselves.

“Fucking idiot.” Nalin grabbed his arm quickly and threw him on the sofa by the wall. “Wait here.”

Takeshi touched his bleeding face, fresh new marks.

Good.

Nalin moved his hand away when he sat right by him, putting a cloth damped in some lotion on the bruises.

“Feeling better?” Takeshi asked quietly, hair still wet sticking to his forehead.

Florist looked ready to slap him again. “I know what you’re doing. Stop it.”

Takeshi rolled his eyes and when he finished caught his elbow before he could stand up, slipping onto his lap. He chuckled when Nalin’s eyes grew in shock.

“I will come back. I’m addicted, aren’t I?” The smile was sly and it made Nalin close his eyes for a moment to not snap again.

He reached inside his jeans’ pocket to get the bracelet that he took off when he was bandaging Takeshi’s hands after the man attacked him, and grasped Takeshi’s wrist to put it around it again. Small, silver, but with the flower that distinguished it from other jewellery Takeshi wore. Well, he did, before. Now he refused to put anything pretty on himself.

It wasn’t that he needed anything to make him look gorgeous, everybody knew Takeshi would work a plastic bag if it were all he had, but it only underlined how he felt lately.

“Sure you will. You always will until you won’t need me anymore,” he said and tried to push him off his lap but Takeshi did not let him.

“And you call me an idiot,” Takeshi snorted. “You really think all those months I’ve been coming to you just because you provided me with drugs? Yes at the beginning I was simply fucking desperate, okay? I needed pain relief. I needed someone to talk to. I promised you the Underground. But then we began pretending to date, building Underground, and you watched twenty-one seasons of America’s Next Top Model with me…” he chuckled. “I like you. I’ve always liked you. I wish we made it better between each other when I wasn’t insane so you would not need to deal with me when I’m at my worst dependant on your help all the damn time, because you get the impression I’m just using you, but it’s not true, okay? I need you, but I like you too, as simple as that.” He took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. “If you’d ever need anything, I’m here. You can count on me. As long as I’m alive.”

“Too bad you so desperately want to fucking die,” Nalin muttered, looking him straight into the eyes.

Takeshi knew he was still pissed off. Nalin never calmed quickly and now it was obvious seeing his nails digging into the leather.

He bent and kissed the corner of his lips. “Out of the two of us let me be the stupid one.”

**

In a way Rin was happy Takeshi pretended and seemed to be healthy when he met him at the private airport. While their bags were moved to Takeshi’s airplane, he was busy talking with a man Rin did not recognise.

Maybe it would not even cross his mind that Takeshi was sick if he did not know already. He did look somehow like a catwalk model wearing the big thick jumper, skinny jeans and boots. It was clever really, because bones were not underlined, the big glasses covered most of his thin face even with the tied up hair. But his hands showed another story, as did the knees that he could not cover.

No matter how sick he was and how much he did not want to show his thinness, he would not make himself unfashionable. Heh.

Isao was right by, slightly behind him. They looked a lot more like when he met them for the first time and the thought that they might be together did not cross his mind.

But then Isao was the laughing one and Takeshi was eyeing the club, strict and scary.

Now they both looked sad.

**

Travelling by plane wasn’t most awkward, but sitting in the car driven by Isao, Takeshi on the side, and he, Sousuke and Kisumi in the back wasn’t as fun.

Kisumi seemed most unsure, not really speaking to anybody, looking out of the window. Takeshi was doing the same, curled up and pale, clearly not feeling well. Isao focused on the road, but kept checking on Takeshi.

Sousuke was exchanging half smiles with Rin, not really talking assuming Kisumi and Takeshi are sleeping.

Rin was happy when he heard that they’re going to England because he was curious and wanted to see everything, but they were driving in the night, mostly motorways. Gang’s cars were in front and behind them, he assumed to keep the boss safe. There was not a single bodyguard but Isao with them.

Sousuke explained to him how Isao’s mother lived by the ocean, as far away from civilisation as possible. It was usual for the women of Yakuza to go into hiding in later life.

He wondered if he was going to end up as far away from his family as possible one day too, begging his children to visit him someday.

How screwed up.

It was the boredom that made him question Isao. “How does it work, did your mom have to move here or it was her choice?”

Isao seemed glad someone actually started talking. “She always liked England and when we visited it was the villages to ensure lack of signal so we could cut strings with Tokyo and mafia for awhile. Since our fathers were always together working she grabbed Takeshi’s mom and him and we left as often as possible. She was never about luxury; she liked small hotels, gardens, taking long walks all the way to the ocean where the wind was awful but for once you could breath in clean air. So when she finally could, she left busy Tokyo.”

“I like the idea of such place, but I’m not sure if I could survive without internet,” Rin said sincerely.

Isao laughed. “It was her choice to live in a place she cannot have anything. Although that was at the beginning, I’m sure she could have it now only if she wished to.”

“She’s just sick of everybody? I already like her,” Sousuke chuckled.

“I should get an award for making you so social for awhile two years ago. You’re the most anti-social person I know.” Kisumi finally spoken, shaking his head at Sousuke.

“I just get tired of people,” he shrugged, not bothered. “Well at least something I did not take after dad.” He poked Takeshi in the shoulder, smiling a little.

“Your mother was quite a party head as well, so I’m not sure who you have it after.” Takeshi faced the front window, sitting straight.

“You tell me!”

They laughed.

**

Takeshi opened his eyes feeling the car being still for a while now. They were at one of the many services on the motorway, petrol station on the left, a large building with cafes inside in front of them. Isao was drinking coffee out of the plastic up, leaning against the front of the car.

Takeshi looked behind himself and saw all three boys sleeping so he quietly got out of the car, hugging himself when the cold wind blew. Welcome to England, he smiled a little to himself.

“You okay?” Isao asked.

“Yeah.” Much better than he felt a little bit ago, and the cold air woke him up. Just knowing he was so far away from Tokyo helped.

“Do you want anything? I did not want to wake you up.”

Takeshi scratched his head, now realising most of his hair was out of the bun. “I will check out what they have.” He made his way towards the building, trying to tidy them up.

He wasn’t even surprised when Isao locked the kids in the car and went after him.

“I’m not going to kill myself with a muffin.”

Isao did not say anything, just followed him.

Akira and Kin were sitting in the café on the left and waved when they noticed them. There weren’t many people at the place, those few were quiet mostly reading books or magazines, yawning and rubbing their eyes tiredly. Takeshi put his arms around Akira who was sitting with his back towards him and kissed the top of his head.

“They’ve got anything good? I’m starving…”

Both he and Kin stood up so quickly ready to buy him everything that was in the café that he started laughing, making them realise he was only playing.

“Ow!” He whined when the blonde slapped his ass.

Akira quickly sat down seeing Isao’s face.

“They’ve got good coffee.” Kin pointed behind himself.

“Thanks, boo.” Takeshi brushed his hand through Kin’s hair and went to the store, eyeing the list.

They sat by them when he got his coffee and he gratefully wrapped his hands around it, glad when his fingernails lost the purple-ish colour.

“Maybe we should stop at a hotel? There’s still a few hours left.” Takeshi asked.

“We’re all switching, so it’s not a problem.”

“But we don’t.” Takeshi said quietly. Nalin said he couldn’t drive while on his drugs and not shockingly somehow this Isao took right to his heart.

“I’m fine,” Isao shrugged.

Takeshi would normally fight but he was feeling like shit, every few minutes getting dizzy and barely being able to see. He would not dare to drive with four people, one of them pregnant, dependant on him.

“Just say if you’re going to get too tired,” Kin patted Isao’s arm. “Should we go?”

**

Isao looked at Takeshi rubbing his temple. He was such a rollercoaster, joking, laughing, and suddenly becoming sad or the pain striking his body again. In a way he was surprised he found strength to laugh, even if it was fake. He knew when Takeshi was truly happy.

Isao did not trust Florist and specifically kept in contact with their doctor to make sure all symptoms he saw Takeshi going through were something normal. So far, they were.

He hoped that cutting Takeshi away from problems, letting him breath some fresh air and reduce his days to taking long walks will do wonders. It always did, but he could not remember the last time he was so down he could not recognise him.

Isao really needed his mother to make him eat, too. Even he was getting used to Takeshi’s tiny frame, but he wasn’t on the border of being too thin, he was way too skinny at the moment. He couldn’t hide in clothes anymore, no matter how big and thick the jumpers were he could still see how bony he was.

“Sure you don’t want to stop at the hotel?” Takeshi’s head lolled to the side to look at him, looking as tired as if he hadn’t slept for days.

“Nope.” Isao smiled as they stopped on the red light.

**

When Takeshi opened his eyes, he could not help but smile before even lifting his head up. He saw the big trees all around them. The road was thin and wobbly, stones making noises under the wheels.

They reached the village.

“Wake up…” Takeshi turned around in his sit and patted boys’ knees. “We’re here.”

A few whines, a few stretches, and they finally looked out of the windows in interest.

“Those are trees,” Isao informed them.

“Very funny, dad.” Kisumi grinned, but looking amazed enough to suggest he never saw one.

They parked in front of a barn surrounded by trees and flowers, front parking space filled with small white stones. When they walked out of the car, they saw that behind was green landscape, and mountains, and an ocean far behind. The wind was calm and sky blue without a single white cloud.

“You know what, screw internet,” Rin whispered.

Sousuke brought his arms around him, kissing the top of his head.

“Right on time!” Isao’s mother walked out of the house, big smile on her face.

Rin eyed her quickly. For someone before her sixties she looked young, blonde curly hair Isao clearly got after her, big eyes and smile. She spread her arms and quickly hugged Isao, not letting him go for a few good seconds. She had to miss him a lot, and when he whined a long “mom”, she pushed him away with a laugh.

Takeshi was watching them with a smile, but keeping a good distance away until she called him over and grabbed his hand when he unsurely and slowly walked over. She hugged him as tightly as she hugged Isao, messing his hair up and saying something into his ear that they did not hear. Takeshi nodded to it when she let him go but kept a hold of his arms, he quickly wiped the few tears that escaped his eyes with his sleeve and then laughed at something she said.

She ensured to hug every single one of them, listening carefully to Sousuke introducing Rin to him as she kept Kisumi in her arms.

“You Yamazakis know how to find the hot men, huh?” she chuckled, stroking Rin’s cheek.

“Mom!” Isao shook his head and Takeshi looked up confused from the back of the car where they were taking baggage out of, clearly not hearing what she said.

When she reached Akira he blushed and bent to kiss her hand, Takeshi quickly saved him from stuttering throwing his arm around him and smiling. “That’s my adopted little brat.” He patted his cheek with his other hand.

Akira grinned happily and hugged him tight, making her laugh.

**

Inside the barn was the cosiest place Rin had ever been in. The small kitchen was on the right, wooden thick cupboards, with the bar setting it apart from the living room that took rest of the space. Big cushion sofas and armchairs were all around the huge fireplace filled with wood set on fire, warming up the whole place. Behind were massive windows that let them look outside, where the ocean was.

Rin wanted to curl up with hot chocolate and stay here forever.

“There are only three rooms upstairs so you will need to fit somehow, I will sleep downstairs,” Isao’s mom informed them as they put the bags by the stairs on the right.

“No, no, no…” Takeshi quickly disagreed.

“You’re not going to sleep on a sofa, are you insane, mom.” Isao joined. “Also, more of us will fit here, anyway. We brought mattresses.”

She did not look happy about it but after fighting for a few minutes she agreed. Nobu with his wife and small kids, Kin and Iwao both with wives as well took one room, Akira and his girlfriend and three boys took the other. Isao, Takeshi, Kisumi, Sousuke and Rin got the living room.

There were so many of them, but Rin loved it. Maybe the fact that they were dropping the gangster personality and were meant to become normal human beings for a while would finally let him get closer to them.

“You haven’t stopped at the hotel to get some sleep, had you?” she shook her head. “Rest some and I will prepare breakfast.”

“Do you need help?” They all jumped in to help but she only grabbed Takeshi and shooed the rest of them away.

Isao dropped on the sofa yawning, Rin sat by the fireplace grinning when everybody else left for a walk. Some quietness wasn’t bad either. Sousuke tried to make him go with them, but he preferred to sit and stretch his legs. When you’re pregnant it’s really not easy to find a position you’re comfortable in. And while he would not mind a bit of a walk, after long hours of being a passenger, neither he wished to go for a long walk.

Isao watched Takeshi for a while, who was breaking eggs and chatting with his mother, but soon his eyelids became too heavy and dropped tiredly.

**

“He hasn’t slept at all or he’s just being lazy?” Isao’s mom asked, cutting the fresh bread, quickly eyeing snoring quietly Isao who was hugging a pillow, one leg on the sofa as he lied across.

“He didn’t at all, the others changed. They did not let me because of the meds I’m taking.” Takeshi explained.

“Do they help?”

“I think so,” he shrugged. “Considering how I feel when they start running out, I’m glad I’m getting whatever it is.”

“You don’t know?” she asked confused.

“Nalin creates it all, I don’t ask.”

“Nalin?”

“Mori. Florist.”

“You trust him?” She seemed surprised.

Takeshi smiled. “I do. He’s done wonders with me.”

She sighed but did not continue the subject for which he was glad. It was tiresome to him to constantly shoo everybody away from Nalin. Everybody knew their history, everybody stuck to the worst things that happened to him and both forgetting he was as nasty to him and what was between them before.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe it was all a plan to kill him at the end. Hell, their relationship was not normal. But could any relationship be normal with someone like Takeshi? He was sick.

He knew Nalin getting mad at him for leaving, slapping him even, was wrong. But if he accepted his sick side, then he would accept Nalin’s.

“You probably do not wish to talk about it, but Takeshi…” She put her hand over his, stopping him from reaching for the salt. “I am so sorry for what he did to you…” Her heart hurt seeing him and she knew how to hide her true feelings from the public but it was difficult in his presence. To know her husband gave him all the bruises, both physical and mental… She did not know what to say.

Takeshi quickly shook his head, not daring to look at her feeling his throat tightening. “It’s not your fault.” It wasn’t. He did not blame Isao either. In a way, neither his father.

He got what he deserved, but it hurt, it scared him. He was meant to be fearless and he mostly was. But Isao’s father stuck the needles in his biggest insecurities. 

He made him feel ill.

“Maybe. But we’re still family. Isao told me about everything he did. I would never imagine he would go this far, and maybe that’s where my mistake was. I just want you to know that you have all my support and don’t think twice before keeping yourself safe, whatever it takes.”

She was talking about killers. She was giving him permission to tear her husband apart.

“Nobu sent killers out, but they did not find him yet.”

Takeshi jumped when Isao spoke, showing up behind him. “Jesus.” He put his hand on his heart.

“Sorry.” Isao quickly laid his hands on his arms.

“Your father is not stupid. He was protecting Takeshi’s father for years and never let a hair drop from his head, and trust me it was not an easy job. It taught him how to be ruthless but also made him even brighter than he already was.” She took the bowl with eggs from Takeshi, ready to put them on the pan. “I know what you two think about your fathers, rightfully so, but remember that even though monsters, they were very intelligent men. Don’t underestimate the evil.”

“I don’t, trust me.” Takeshi smiled. “He will get me before they will get him.”

“He won’t.” Isao’s hands tightened. “I won’t let him.”

“It’s not about you.” Takeshi shook his head, unlocking from his grip and moving to the sink to clean his hands.

Isao tried to disagree, but his mother patted his cheek, shutting him up.

**

“No offence.” Kisumi looked at Rin and then turned to face Sousuke. “But why the fuck is he getting the sofa?” He pointed at Rin.

Late night, after spending a cozy evening by the fireplace eating cookies and drinking hot chocolate, everybody finally left to sleep, leaving them with mattresses waiting to get inflated.

“Kisumi!” Isao threw a pillow at him. “Rin is pregnant, stop being a whiny child.”

“Sucker,” Rin whispered to Kisumi, making Sousuke laugh.

Kisumi growled and joined Sousuke in blowing air inside his mattress, since Isao stole the only air pump machine they had.

“What’s wrong?” Takeshi came back from the bathroom, hair wet plastered to his forehead.

It was so warm yet he still had a jumper on. Rin wondered whether he was really cold or hiding how skinny he was. Maybe both.

“I thought we should fight for the sofa, but apparently being pregnant…” Kisumi starred at Rin, “gives you privilege.”

“If I could give you that pregnant belly to carry for the night, I would happily change places with you.” Rin chuckled.

Kisumi made a face. “No, thank you.”

Takeshi smiled at them, sitting on the floor by Isao. They were quiet and when the machine finished, and all put their pillows and duvets over the mattresses, they gladly lied down.

Takeshi was happy that he could be by the fireplace, finally warm, while others ran away as far away as possible. Unfortunate Isao was forced to sleep right by him, since both mattresses were doubles, and boys shared the other.

“So we’re going to the ocean tomorrow?” Kisumi asked.

“If the weather will be as good as today.” Isao put his hands behind his head. “Then we could even stay at the beach. But if it’s going to be cold we can still go for a walk.”

Takeshi curled up on his side, facing the fireplace, hiding the wince. First his kidneys, now his heart was starting to hurt. He wasn’t surprised, considering how long he hasn’t been eating for, plus always being on drugs probably wasn’t the best for him either.

Maybe this would finish him off if nothing else wanted to.

He jumped a little startled when Isao moved closer to him. “You okay?” he whispered when it seemed others were deep asleep, snoring loudly.

Takeshi nodded, closing his eyes.

“You’re warm?”

As much as he could. He nodded again.

“Can I?” Isao asked unsurely as he slipped his arm around him, ready to take it off if he only said one word.

He wanted to. He did not know why Isao was doing this. But he was so fucking warm…

“Yes.”

**

In the early morning, when everybody was still deep asleep, Isao and his mom sat in the back of the house, watching the sun waking up the calm ocean.

“Seems it’s going to be a nice day,” Isao said quietly, wrapped in a fluffy blanket, cup of tea in his hands.

“You judge by the weather or Takeshi sleeping through the night?” His mother smiled a little.

“The weather. I never know whether it’s going to be a good or bad day until he wakes up. And sometimes it looks like a good day only to change drastically.” He closed his eyes, relaxing on the many pillows that filled the chair.

“It’s going to be like this for a while.” She caressed his arm. “It took a long time to break him, it will take even longer to heal him.”

“I know. I talked to a psychologist in Tokyo to know how to help him the best I can.”

She smiled surprised. “Well, well. I’m really proud of you.”

“Don’t tell him, I don’t want him to know.”

“Did you think about going with him? You’re only here for a week and I will do everything I can, but what about later?”

“Mom, he does not want to talk with me, you think he will go to a psychologist and that with me?” Isao chuckled.

“People’s averse to psychologist is a pain in the butt.”

“Mom.” Isao laughed. “You’re the one who hates on shrinks.”

“I’ve heard enough about what happens in them.” She wrapped herself tighter in her blanket. “I know that what I’m going to say is very unprofessional, but he needs hugs and kisses, not being separated from everybody.”

Isao smiled sadly. “I’d give him everything he needs if he only let me.”

“You can only blame yourself for him losing trust in you.”

“You know I did it to protect him.”

She hummed. “I somehow find it difficult to believe that my bright son thought that disappearing was the best thing he could do after his boyfriend was attacked.” She looked at him.

Isao did not say anything so she bumped into his arm lightly.

“I stayed right after the attack,” he began quietly. “I was the one who found him. Mom, he… He was dragged to the bath all the way from downstairs, drowned in his blood, he lost so much because he was cut deep in so many places… I waited in the hospital by his side and they decided to wake him up after a few days.” He closed his eyes. “His body twisted in pain, he started crying and shaking so they quickly forced him back into sleep. It was like a worst horror movie. Nalin did wonders and you can barely see bruises now, especially on his face because those on his body are still visible and this is why he hides so much… but he cut him with a knife. Everywhere. He still can’t see on his eye, I don’t know whether he ever will or not, he did not tell anybody.” His hands shook when he pressed them to his face. “It was a nightmare. I know he was the one who suffered, God I have no right to feel sorry for myself, but when I knew I could have prevented it… I had no right to be by his side.”

“Kisumi told me that Takeshi had to know what was going to happen because he quickly kicked him out of the apartment,” she said after a few minutes of silence.

“He did. Sousuke informed me how Takeshi was only waiting for it. He told him how he was surprised my father did not slash his face open earlier.” Isao winced.

“I’m more troubled by the fact that he let it happen.”

“It’s my fault.” Isao looked down at his hands. “When dad attacked him for the first time, Takeshi wanted to strike back. Father hit him, Takeshi grabbed a knife and was ready to kill. I stopped him, stood between them. He was so betrayed and since then he stopped fighting back. I did everything wrong, mom.”

She stroked his cheek. “So now you need to show him that he can count on you again. I won’t say forget about the past, because we need it to know how to help him, but instead of crying over it, fight for the future.”

Isao quickly nodded. They sipped their drinks for a while not saying anything.

“I hope he will feel well enough to go to the ocean.”

“He will want to go no matter what, so we need to make sure he will eat more than yesterday.”

“He ate yesterday, didn’t he?” Isao asked a little disoriented.

“No, he put most of the scrambled eggs under the bread. Why do you think he was the most eager to wash up after breakfast?”

Isao growled. He hoped Takeshi would get hungry smelling his mother’s delicious food.

“You all watch over him but he’s still the puppet master, playing you all.” She smiled. “You make the mistake of misunderstanding him because he’s ill. Don’t.

Don’t because you will lose.”

Isao did not even know how grateful he was going to be for this advice later today.

It was not meant to be a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos, comments, and messages <333


	50. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just promise me you’ll think of me, everytime you look up in the sky and see a star."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to zaizen55  
> I think you know why :D

“I want to give you something.” Isao’s mom smiled and reached inside her pocket to pull out a little box.

Isao looked at her surprised. They were meant to leave the patio to start preparing breakfast as they heard shuffling upstairs and kids waking up, but his mom stopped him. He took the box from her when she handed it to him and opened it.

There was a silver ring inside with tiny shiny stones, one by another, all around it.

“Not really my style.” He joked.

“But Takeshi would work it,” she winked. “Son, I am getting old, I really want to see my only child getting married.”

“Well, you had.” The corner of his lips lifted sadly, fingertips touching the surface of the ring as he looked at it. Takeshi would love it.

Takeshi was always hungry for someone to be proud of him, to show him off after living a life of constant reminder how he is not good enough, never what his father wanted. That was the only thing he desperately needed and hoped from Isao. Acceptance. But his boyfriend wanted to hide having anything but a business relationship with him.

And Isao wondered why he finally broke…

“I don’t mean a fake ass wedding where you need to look at Takeshi to spit out the words ‘I do’ out of your mouth.” She rolled her eyes, ignoring his choking.

“You liked Emi.”

“I do like Emi and I think you were lucky considering what could have happened, but I want you truly happy, eyes sparkling looking at Takeshi, healthy and beautiful, with hundreds of people watching you and wishing you well.” She spread her arms happily, clearly having it all imagined out already.

He chuckled and shook his head, hiding the ring in his jacket. “It will wait for the right moment.”

“It’s a very old ring my grandmother gave me. I want it to be in a sincere relationship.” She stroked his cheek.

“Then pray he will really want me again,” Isao said quietly.

“He wants you.” She smiled. “He looks at you with so much sadness in his eyes, everybody sees how much he misses you.” She sighed. “But it’s his way of punishing himself. Not allowing himself to be loved, hurting his body, and he reached the stage where mentally he does not let anything good sink in either, only hate, hurtful words… It’s terrible and very difficult to stop doing so.”

“Since we found out what he’s doing to himself we’re trying to show and tell how much we love him but he completely shuts off. He thinks we’re all lying.”

She nodded. “That will be most difficult to change.”

They turned around when the doors slid to the side and Kisumi showed up.

“Good morning, grandson.”

“Morning, brat.”

“Fooood.” Kisumi grinned, showing his white teeth in a big smile.

“Poor you, doesn’t know how to use the kitchen.” Isao shook his head.

“We’re coming, don’t worry.” Isao’s mother stood up and slapped Isao across the head, then quickly caught Kisumi under her arm and they went inside.

Isao sighed deeply, last time looking at the ocean feeling the tiny box in his jacket. A few months ago he was way closer to asking Takeshi to marry him than he was now.

Now Takeshi would laugh in his face.

Then Isao was too much of a coward.

**

He smiled when he noticed Takeshi curled up with Nobu’s small girl in his lap under the blanket, both watching something on the iPad.

Nobu and his wife were trying to get rest of the kids under control, Akira and his girlfriend dropped by Takeshi on the mattress, joking and laughing. It was a busy morning, everybody trying to put themselves in order with only one bathroom available. Those who were not in the bathroom were preparing breakfast and the boys were taking turns in feeling the baby kicking, Rin sitting on the sofa and his face slowly becoming annoyed.

Isao watched Takeshi while pretending to do something else, seeing that he seemed to not feel well. Yesterday he had strength to laugh, today he seemed too tired to smile. He slept through the whole night, or at least Isao thought so unless he was too tired and slept too deeply to notice him waking up, but Takeshi looked exhausted, dark shadows underneath his eyes.

When he saw him playing with food and hiding pretty much everything he knew this was not going to be a good day.

**

Wellies, scarves, thick jumpers and beanies on they made their way up the hill to the ocean. The road was full of mud but when they finally reached the top, they saw the beautiful green landscape, hills, rocks, rivers, waterfall and ocean still far away, wind blowing way faster than by the barn.

Takeshi breathed in the fresh air, feeling the headache stopping. He needed it after this night.

No one noticed him nearly getting a panic attack after yet another set of nightmares, and he was glad Isao did not sleep the night before because if his sleep wasn’t so deep he would have.

He was starting to get used to not being able to sleep peacefully, Isao’s father returning over and over again but today was the most exhausting nightmare he ever had.

The worst was that in it he was waking up from one, dreaming of Isao’s father doing things to him he felt ill just recalling. He promised him many things that were keeping him awake and froze him in front of the man, but actually seeing it happening…

In the dream everybody was sleeping so panicking he quickly walked out of the house. But he could not calm down.

And then as in a dream, not much made sense. Once he was behind the barn, stuffing all the pills Florist had given him down his throat and collapsing. There was a cut and Isao found him, screamed, everybody else ran out to see what happened.

But later he walked out of the house to go all the way to the ocean. It was frightening, so dark, not a single light, not even a star. Just the noise of the wind and the ocean that he would never dare to walk to in the night. On the left was the waterfall, so many hills and sharp edges, water sprinkling his face. One step closer, he would fall, he would die.

But he never found out whether he jumped.

And then he was running to the forest and when he reached the end of it, he took the gun out, crying starred at it and shot himself in the head.

This time he saw the rest though. The noise of the gunshot woke others up. Isao quickly realised he wasn’t by his side, paled in his face and terrified ran out in the cold in just a short sleeved shirt and pants. Others followed, looking around, shouting.

All hoping he missed, he shot someone else…

Isao found him first, grabbing the hold of the tree to not fall as a pained sound escaped his throat. He dropped to his knees and took him in his arms, crying, shaking, mumbling something in Takeshi’s neck, hand stroking his hair and kissing his cheek, blind to the blood that covered his face.

Takeshi saw himself dead.

Others found him. Nobu covered his mouth, eyes closed tightly wishing for the image to go away. He dropped to his knees by them, took his jacket off and covered Takeshi like it still mattered whether he was cold, and hugged him with Isao.

They were in so much pain.

Akira and Sousuke screamed, Iwao and Kin tried to hold them away but failed, soon they were all hugging, hands holding each other so tightly they had to leave bruises.

Their chests were heaving trying not to panic.

There was so much pain he could feel it on his skin even though he was dreaming.

He wanted out of the nightmare.

But it wasn’t the end and the images became distorted. There was his funeral, all of them starring blankly as the rain covered them, then they were sitting by some table, watching one of the empty chairs.

His.

No noise.

And then it seemed like Sousuke took his place, sitting unsurely at the club, hands shaking. His gang right by him, but Takeshi’s boys telling him they’re leaving.

Akira who was meant to stay forever saying he can’t do it, tears in his eyes.

It was one of those nightmares that you know there’s something wrong, you know when it’s not real anymore, but you can’t wake up. It was so exhausting.

He finally woke up just like in the dream. But he went to the bathroom to calm down his breathing.

Not to the ocean.

Not behind the barn.

Not to the forest.

He wanted to hurt himself so much, because he could not calm down.

But you can’t break the mirror when everybody would notice. You can’t even run the hot water.

They knew well enough where to take him so he would think twice before hurting himself.

**

Now walking to the ocean, breathing in air, his mind was finally clearing and he could distinguish between what was the nightmare and what was the reality.

He did not understand it.

What was the point? Was his brain giving him tips or warning him everything will go to hell if he would die? Was his brain self-pitying itself? How laughable.

“You okay?” Akira brought his arm around him, grinning as the wind blew his hair back. “You’re so quiet today.”

“You need any more noise?” Takeshi asked just when the boys started running towards the waterfall, screaming like mad.

“Well that depends what kind…” Akira cocked his eyebrow at his girlfriend who was walking right by him.

“Gross.” Takeshi pushed him away and unlucky Akira ended up on the ground because his girlfriend moved out of the way, smirking at him when he whined she did not save him.

**

Rin held the barrier tightly, not letting the wind push him down the waterfall. It was actually quite terrifying, he wasn’t sure why Sousuke and the guys were so excited, laughing while pretending to kick each other into it.

The water splashed loudly against the huge sharp rocks. 

He looked up at Takeshi who was standing opposite to him, on the other side. He was so focused, tad too close to the edge in his opinion, starring down in silence. He looked small in his too big beanie, scarf and sweater on himself.

Rin noticed Isao on the side, concentrated on watching Takeshi. Seeing his tense body, ready to strike, grab and pull him away at any second, made Rin realise that they really feared Takeshi could take his life. They were not overreacting, and he gasped when he saw Takeshi taking one step forward. But Isao was right by him not even a second later wrapping his arm around him and pulling him away. He did it so smoothly, without making a scene, and it was like Takeshi suddenly snapped out of it, embarrassed and shaken tried to run away but Isao kept a strong hold of him, whispering something in his ear, arms tight around him as Takeshi covered his face with his hands, giving up.

Rin looked to his left where Sousuke was standing and realised he was starring as long as him.

**

He was so fucking weak. Shivering in Isao’s arms, Isao who had enough of him yet Takeshi took all of his warmth anyway, starving for it.

Everything about Isao made him ache. His body, strong beautiful body so much bigger than his, making him see how sick he was, how safe he did not feel, how much he needed him especially now. He was so fucking terrified that even in his dreams he wasn’t calm.

His fresh smell that made him think of the ocean, of home, when they were far away.

His voice, now trying to relax him, so familiar. He was used to having him by his side, it simply hurt when he wasn’t there.

Takeshi loved him so much, and it was so difficult to come to terms with the fact that Isao never wanted him. He should leave for Isao’s sake. For everybody’s sake.

They were lying, pretending, and yet his mind was begging to accept it and believe they were sincere.

And if they did not want to let him go, what else could he do but die?

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop. Please,” Isao whispered, warm breath on his ear. Takeshi pressed his forehead to his shoulder. “Just listen.”

Isao knew what always made him feel peaceful. He associated the sound of the ocean, of the strong wind, with it. But it was like even it was just choking him at this point.

He was tired of everything.

“They’re going to the beach, we should go down too, it’s not so windy there.” Isao rubbed his hands up and down Takeshi’s arms. “I don’t want you to get sick.”

He quickly wiped the few tears that escaped his eyes, hoping Isao did not see, and went first, trying to show him that he really does not need to be by his side. But Isao caught him quickly, letting his arm slide around his arms.

“You don’t need to do this…” Takeshi choked out.

Isao stopped abruptly and Takeshi thought he was going to slap him, maybe it was what he expected since his father did, and it was so unfair to fear Isao since he began fearing his father, but they could look so similar…

“Look at me.” Isao put his hands softly on his cheeks. When Takeshi did, becoming tearful again, clearly expecting to hear the worst, he sighed and let himself kiss his cheek. Takeshi tensed. “I. Love. You.” He said, underlining every word separately with his strong voice. “And I will repeat, and show it to you, not only till you will believe me again, but till we both die of a very old age.” He wiped the tears off his cheeks and smiled. “Come, you always liked walks on the beach.”

Isao grabbed his hand and playfully tugged him so he would go with him, like a couple of highschool sweethearts on the first date.

**

“Don’t get me wrong, I love our sons, but lord they can scream…” Isao winced theatrically as they walked down the beach, the waves hitting their naked feet. They left their shoes where others stayed and went for a walk, only the two of them.

Now they really heard the ocean. And nothing else.

Takeshi smiled weakly.

“Hey…” Isao stroked his hand with his thumb. He did not let him go since he took his hand by the waterfall. “Talk to me. Please.”

“About what?” he shrugged tiredly.

“Everything. Anything.”

Takeshi laughed to himself, finding all of this pointless. He should’ve had let him fall.

“Okay…” Isao tried again. “Your eye… You always cover it.” Surely this wasn’t the best topic as their first but he hoped it was something that would make Takeshi talk about what they needed to talk about anyway. Hurtful but necessary. Maybe Takeshi would feel better after letting it all out, but the main point was that he needed to know everything to know how to keep him safe and help him become healthy again.

Takeshi looked down at his feet, realising he can’t ditch the conversation after all. “I can’t see on it. I mean… I do a little but the image is distorted and the light flashes… It makes me dizzy so I cover it.”

“Is it treatable?”

“Nalin is trying to fix it but he says it might be too damaged so I might need a surgery.”

He was talking in such lifeless voice it made Isao tighten his hold. “I’m sure they will fix it easily.”

Takeshi shrugged again. “Got used to not seeing.”

Isao looked at him in silence for a few seconds. “I’m glad he healed the bruises, I can’t imagine how much they had to hurt too.”

God, their conversation was so awkward and he was so terrified of saying something wrong. Takeshi could twist anything now to see it as an attack, insult…

Takeshi did not answer, his chin shaking a little but he calmed down before Isao could say a word.

“Let’s take a break.” Isao stopped by the few rocks, pushing Takeshi to sit on one and kneeling in front of him quickly. “Doll, look at me.”

“Don’t…” Takeshi closed his eyes.

Isao took his hands in his, gathering strength. “I really wish I could turn back time,” he said. “Takeshi, I’d do everything differently. I was meant to keep you safe, but even when my father hurt you I stood in your way when you tried to protect yourself, and I never dealt with him…”

“I did not tell you to…”

“It was never something you should have ordered. Not only as a bodyguard, but as a boyfriend I should have reacted. But I was too much of a coward…”

“He’s your dad,” Takeshi said weakly.

“He stopped being my father when he lifted his hand at you. Do you really think that after everything he did to you I could still…” Isao shook his head. “If not killers, I will find him. And I will kill him. He won’t ever touch you again, I promise.”

“He will find me first,” Takeshi whispered, starring blankly. “And he will make sure there won’t be anything left this time.” He stood up hugging himself, no trust and no strength left in believing anybody could keep him safe.

Takeshi did not blame Isao. He wasn’t sure why Isao kept on repeating how sorry he was.

“What did he tell you?” Isao stood up quickly once he started walking away. “Takeshi. What did he tell you?!” He caught up and took his arm, turning him around. “Please tell me. Please!” He was so desperate, he needed to know what Takeshi was so afraid of. It took him time to realise that this wasn’t the simple fact of his father attacking him, it had to be more. Now that he knew he could not let it go.

Takeshi paled just at the thought of speaking of it. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You need to talk about it so we can help. So we know how to protect you.” Isao put his hands on his cheeks, moving in closer.

He laughed, taking a step back away from him. “You want me to talk about it?” Takeshi snapped suddenly, eyes growing big. They all treated him like he was a stupid child who needed babysitting, pathetic gangster boss terrified of some guy he should easily defend himself from. “You want me to describe to you everything he promised to do to me?” Takeshi pushed him away, tearing up. “How he will cut my skin open wherever he will reach, for every single day you were forced to spend with me? How he will blind me so I won’t be able to look at you ever again? How he will make me scream in pain for every time you suffered because of me? Or…” There was a short break, Takeshi choked on his breath feeling as if he were in a small room which walls were moving towards him. “Or how he will force my legs apart until they will break and fuck me until I will bleed?” He was shaking as Isao starred at him terrified, frozen in one place. “How he will borrow me to his friends? So you will feel sick just looking at me and no matter how much of a whore I am, how much I will try to make you fuck me anyway because people like me never have enough, you won’t do it?”

“Takeshi…”

“You want to know more? Fuck, I dared to try to forget. I dared to beg Nalin to give me drugs that will make me numb. But every fucking word comes back every fucking night. I dream of your father raping me. Every. Single. Night. He…” Takeshi stopped, catching on his breath, feeling ill. He closed his eyes, when everything began spinning.

Isao caught him but they slipped to the ground, his arms wrapping tightly around him.

He was speechless. He held Takeshi in a way no one would ever manage to separate them, but he was starring at the ocean, the words slowly sinking in as Takeshi broke down completely, crying in his arm.

Isao was so fucking dumb. His father hurt Takeshi so much yet rape never crossed his mind? He was so blind, still looking for reasons to see his father as remediable instead of realising he was a sick monster and nothing else. He closed his eyes.

He should have stayed and asked, find out everything, but he assumed that nothing worse could have happened and left Takeshi with all of this. And then he dared to be angry that Takeshi did not go anywhere without Florist.

No. Fucking. Wonder. Why.

His father could do all of this to Takeshi the last time he caught him alone.

“He won’t touch you ever again, I promise.” Isao stroked his back, fingers tracing the bones that were beginning to be so prominent it made him ache. “I will do everything it takes to get rid of him. Permanently. And I won’t leave your side until I do.”

Takeshi did not believe him, he did not even shrug, face turned away. But there was no point in repeating it over and over again. He had to prove himself, do it, not just talk crap no one trusted anymore.

“I will keep you safe.”

But Takeshi had to know. Now he just had to make him believe it.

His father will pay.

**

Takeshi thought talking about what he was hiding so deeply would make him feel better, but it did not. He just felt sick and weakened, glad Isao was holding him close.

But seeing Sousuke lying on the towel with Rin and Isao’s mother sitting by him, he quickly walked up to them, forgetting about himself. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” Sousuke quickly answered, fingers pressed to his eyes.

“He felt ill,” Rin interrupted.

“I’m fine.”

“There’s a hospital not far away, should we take you there?” Isao asked concerned. “They would check on you.”

“No!”

Takeshi rolled his eyes. “Brat.”

“You’re last to talk!” Sousuke pointed his finger at him judgingly.

He smiled, sitting by him slowly, Isao following. “You could not only get the good looks after me.”

Sousuke reached for the beach ball behind him and threw it at Takeshi.

“Ow!” Takeshi did not catch it on time and it hit him in the head, so frustrated he tried to throw it back in his face only to get grabbed by Sousuke and pushed in the sand, Isao saving him from eating it.

Sousuke started laughing, screeching and pulling himself up when Takeshi lifted his hand to slap him, but Isao helped again, catching the back of Takeshi’s jumper, making him stay by his side.

Takeshi growled.

Rin and Isao’s mother laughed at them.

**

“Mom is going to scream at us.” Isao murmured when he let the smoke out of his mouth.

There wasn’t really anywhere they could go without taking cars, so they just stayed in the back of the barn, watching the ocean and smoking and drinking secretly like in the old days.

Apart from the fact that everybody knew.

Takeshi smiled. “Maybe she won’t kick us out of the house.”

“She won’t kick you out, but I wouldn’t be so sure about me.” Isao pouted comically, lying on his back and putting hands behind his head. Takeshi stayed up, so he reached his back, fingertips touching him softly.

With everything that was happening it took a night like this to have time to think about basic needs. He did miss Takeshi. In the most basic, sexual need, too. And he felt selfish and wrong to think about it now, hours after Takeshi finally told him what made him so ill.

But it was the first time they were alone with Takeshi who actually talked with him, months after he left.

“I missed you so much, you know.” Isao lifted himself up into a sitting position, grabbing the bottle of bear and taking a sip. He smiled to himself. “I’m so used to having you by my side I could have just lost half of me instead.”

“Can’t blame you with how I tied you to myself since we were children.” Takeshi hugged his knees, putting his chin on top of them.

He was surprised when Isao moved to sit in front of him and put his face so close to his that he moved away automatically, a chuckle escaping his throat.

“I’ve tied myself. Very voluntarily, might I add.” Isao caught him under his knees and pulled closer to himself. “Life is terrible without you in it.”

Takeshi smiled a little. “You read all those cheesy lines in your books or you stole teenage magazines from your son?”

Isao gasped in pretended hurt. “I might have read a few new books.” Getting embarrassed was totally worth it when he saw Takeshi laugh sincerely.

“Even if it is all lies,” Takeshi said quietly and put his cold hands on Isao’s cheeks. “Even if I really got it all wrong, tell me one good reason why someone like you would want to be with someone like me.” He was so sure that Isao wouldn’t be able to say one good thing about him that it made Isao straighten up.

“Because I love you. Because you’re funny, bright, and so fucking beautiful it hurts to look at you. You always think about everybody but yourself, and maybe that’s not always a good thing, but when I see you on your own birthday party making sure that everybody is having fun before even getting a drink yourself, it is the most adorable thing in the world. You care so much about people you love and prioritise them over everything. You treat them like your family. You’re the most seductive, sexy person I know. You know how to use it. You make the quickest, smartest decisions. Everybody eats out of your hand and everybody wants you so it’s damn satisfying I can tell you’re mine. Not to forget you’re a freaking gymnast and I surely do not complain when I can watch you at work, or in my own bed… or whichever place we end at.” He smiled, a chuckle escaping his throat as Takeshi blushed. “I. Love. You. I want you. And I never ever wanted anybody else. You’re perfect.”

He hated that seeing Takeshi with tears in his eyes was becoming so common. “You think you’re not good enough for me, it’s what my father made you believe. It’s wrong. If you want the facts, you have all of them. You’re the boss, I’m just a bodyguard. You did not inherit the title, you’ve gained it. How would you accomplish all of it if you were not intelligent? Baby, you have it all. Father knows your insecurities, so he told you everything that would hurt you. Twisted everything fantastic about you. But it’s simply not true. If anybody, I should feel like I’m not good enough for you.”

“Please.” Takeshi wiped his tears with his sleeve. “You were the brightest student. You wanted to go to university, you were offered the best places, you could have had it all. But I…”

“But my father told me to go to the gym and prepare to be a bodyguard for a Yamazaki,” Isao interrupted. “And I hated it. Until I have met you and fallen in love and luckily for me you turned out to be someone who loved me back so you made sure I had everything I needed. Even though as a bodyguard I could have had nothing but being one. I’ve got my own businesses, houses, cars, I read and pass any courses I want. And I have the most perfect boyfriend who does not stop me from accomplishing anything.”

“I never wanted to make you feel used,” Takeshi sniffed. “I wanted you to be my bodyguard because I loved you and we had no choice anyway, but I never wanted to tie you. That’s why I ensured that you will have it all, but your father said I took everything you wanted in life away, and you hate me, and…”

Isao shook his head. “Can you see how it doesn’t make sense?”

Takeshi quieted down. “What do you mean?”

“You’re saying how you did everything to give me all. I’m saying how I had it all. And yet you trust a man that you know hates you.”

“He hates me because of you. He doesn’t care that I’m a guy, it’s me, because I’m not good enough for you and I’m just a wh…”

“Don’t.” Isao stopped him before he could call himself that again. “Takeshi, you do know better. You do know your worth. Don’t believe him, please.” Isao pulled Takeshi closer and hugged him, kissing his temple. “You’re worth the world, baby.”

**

“You’re comfortable?” Takeshi made sure to drop on the mattress seeing Sousuke lying on his and Isao’s instead by Kisumi.

“Very.” He smiled and stretched comfortably.

Takeshi cocked his eyebrow as Isao sat comfortably by Rin on the sofa. He did not wait long for answers when Akira jumped in, two bottles of alcohol in his hands. Other guys showed up right behind him, grinning like mad.

“What…?”

“Ready to party? We gotta do it quietly, but hey.” Kin spread his hands happily and jumped on the mattress by Takeshi.

Sousuke laughed and gathered himself up, quickly swatting Kisumi on the head so he would wake up. When he took Rin’s hand they all made their way up the stairs, making Takeshi even more confused. Isao moved to sit by him, other boys as close as possible too.

“Where you going?”

“Giving you old farts some alone time.” Sousuke waved to them, Rin following. Isao laughed at Kisumi who caught the back of Sousuke’s shirt, other hugging the pillow. They weren’t sure if he really woke up, he seemed more sleepwalking and Sousuke grabbed him with his free hand so he would not fall on stairs.

“Family time is all great, but we need some break too, right?” Nobu brought his arm around Takeshi, hugging him.

“Hell yeah.” Akira seemed the most excited, laying his head on Takeshi’s lap. Isao sat on Takeshi’s right, Kin and Iwao close, opening the beers.

“Sorry for being an asshole at the hospital.” Nobu said quietly only to Takeshi when they turned the music on and began chatting, creating enough noise.

It took Takeshi a second to remember what happened and he smiled remembering. Maybe the alcohol and pot they smoked with Isao was helping, maybe he was getting better, he wasn’t sure.

He affectionately patted Nobu’s cheek, feeling his hand tightening on his arm. “Don’t worry about it.”

Nobu kissed his temple, and laughed when Isao finally looked at them, frowning.

“Jealous, bitch?”

Akira, still lying in Takeshi’s lap, laughed.

Isao grabbed Nobu’s hand and threw it away from Takeshi’ shoulder, putting his arm around him instead.

“Idiots,” Takeshi murmured but let himself be possessively held, laughed when Isao jokingly shook him a little, catching the arm wrapped around him.

**

As more time was slipping by, the drunker they were getting, the more comfortable and forgetful of all the troubles.

Takeshi did not remember the last time he felt so good. They made him feel warm and happy in the most innocent way. It was like they were children again, when they were meeting at one of the houses, sometimes building a tent from duvets and talked till late, all of them together under it.

Just like then they were lying in weird positions, talking about nothing and everything. Later Takeshi somehow ended up with his head in Kin’s lap, legs thrown over Iwao’s. Kin was plaiting his hair, ignoring laughing Iwao and Nobu who were watching Isao trying to get his alpha status back by slapping Akira with the big pillow for daring to drunkenly kiss Takeshi on the lips. Well, trying to, missing beautifully, but his intention was more important to Isao.

“Haven’t done your hair in ages,” Kin mumbled focused.

Takeshi smiled, lying on his side. His eyes were involuntary closing more and more often and Kin’s soft touch wasn’t helping. Everybody knew that to make him purr and most likely fall asleep all you had to do was play with his hair.

That’s all it took.

Akira threw himself in his arms suddenly, whining. “Help.”

“Leave the brat alone,” Iwao chuckled when Isao looked at him with eyes like slits.

Takeshi smiled, hugging Akira who was drunk enough to already start falling asleep in his arms.

As the bottles were emptied, they decided they could as well go to sleep. They pushed the mattresses together and lied as close to each other as possible. Takeshi chuckled when Isao possessively put his arm around him, hugging him from behind. Akira still attached to him and unconscious stayed on his other side, Kin right by him. And Nobu with Iwao were right behind them on the other mattress, their heads touching theirs.

“Feels like we’re teenagers again,” Iwao murmured, lifting his hand to tug at Takeshi’s plaits.

Takeshi grinned, reaching for his hand and linking their fingers together, Nobu putting his over theirs. When he felt Kin catching his other hand, he realised what they were doing.

He doubted Isao told them everything but they raised the red alarm.

And maybe he was pathetic, heart aching from all the love he was receiving. A grown up ass man starving for affection.

But feeling their hands on him, warm and protective, holding him like they could keep him safe from the whole world…

Maybe Isao’s father was wrong after all.

Maybe he won’t dream about him tonight.

He was so grateful for his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all of you! I hope you enjoyed this chapter too! <333


	51. Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's about finding strength to overcome them.

“I’ve lost my phone somewhere!” Akira whined, throwing pillows around.

Isao shrugged not bothered, sitting with a cup of coffee on the sofa, fighting the hangover. Takeshi was sleeping in his lap, completely out of it.

“Oh, what’s that?” Akira caught a small box and opened it excitedly, like a child finding first present under the Christmas tree.

Isao realising what was in his hand, just as Akira gasped seeing the ring, paled in his face. He could not shout, knowing that Takeshi was asleep, and thank God he was, so he started waving his hands and mouthing “HIDE IT”. When Akira starred at him with slightly open mouth, devilish spark in his eyes, Isao growled and slid his finger across his throat.

That made Akira quickly hide the box back in his jacket.

**

It was so good to see Takeshi back in his touchy-feely self. There was something so off about being with everybody, yet Takeshi, the power house, suddenly keeping mostly to himself and clearly uncomfortable with anybody putting any attention on him, not to mention touching him.

He was still ill, but he was better. And that was good enough for now.

Akira was giving Isao so many looks that Takeshi finally recognised it and asked, but Isao just shook his head. Then Takeshi tried to get it out of Akira, of course he did, Akira nearly breaking under his gaze, but Isao shooed him away in time.

**

“You’ve got signal here?” Kin asked surprised, seeing Takeshi scrolling through his phone, lying on the sofa under blankets as he sat by him, grabbing his legs to put them over his lap.

“Enough to fetch email once a day and nothing else.” Takeshi murmured unhappily.

Isao walked up to them, drying his hair with a towel. “Where do you want to go today? Or you just want to stay inside?” He did not forget about the fact that Takeshi wasn’t only depressed, he was sick and as healthy short walks were for him, spending every single day walking hours was definitely not recommended. He was meant to have a break, not burn the little calories he was eating.

“I want to see James. He stopped at the town by.”

Isao did not make a happy face.

“Come on, he’s been in jail and then quickly had to move to England. I can’t be here and not see him.”

“I am not letting you go alone,” Isao said quietly. He did not want Takeshi to feel uncomfortable with how much they were watching over him, he really did not, but the facts were that he was not healthy enough, both mentally and physically, to be left to himself.

Takeshi was quiet for a second, clearly frustrated with it and they did not blame him, knowing how furious it would make them to have someone treat them such.

“I’ve actually wanted all of us to go since the beginning,” he said through gritted teeth.

Isao felt smacked, so he closed his eyes for a second. “I did not mean to make you feel bad, sorry.”

Takeshi did not say anything.

**

They took cars to drive to the local town. Small place, filled with tiny shops with hand made products and food, seaside on the side with many boats floating on the water.

Takeshi quickly noticed James, unlike him not so different from other people sitting at the small hotel’s garden, a pint of beer in his hand. He grinned seeing Takeshi and stood up quickly to hug him tight, breathing in his smell.

“Damn, I’ve missed you, boo.” He cooed, making Takeshi chuckle.

“So glad you came all the way here.” Takeshi smiled, pressing his face into his neck.

“Baby, I’d run around the world three times for you.” James grinned, lifting his head a little to look at Isao. “Especially since it makes your boyfriend so fucking jealous.” He smirked at him, hands scratching Takeshi’s back.

Takeshi did not need to turn around to know that Isao standing right behind him was murdering James with his eyes. There were two people Isao was allergic to, and that was James and Nalin.

It was sort of adorable, really.

They sat together after ordering drinks and desserts. Takeshi was so happy to see James again that he felt his heart aching. The guy hasn’t changed, still the slim self, dark, shiny curly hair pulled up in a ponytail as the sun made them press cold beers to their cheeks, hoping it would cool them.

James was such a sunshine in his life since they’ve met, that when he met Akira the kid reminded him a lot of him. Maybe this was why he quickly stole his heart too.

“You should eat a dessert.” James poked him in his side. “Skinny shit.”

“Says who?” Takeshi rubbed his side.

“Well, excuse me, but I’m overweight compared to you,” James snorted. “Get some ice-cream at least.”

Takeshi put his hand over James’ face, which was a suggestion to be quiet. James growled quietly from behind his hand while others laughed, but he missed Takeshi too much to pretend to be mad.

**

“You really don’t know how sorry I am for not being there for you all this time.” James brought his arm around Takeshi as they walked down the beach. Others stayed on the benches, letting the sun colour their cheeks and ice creams from the van cool their bodies.

It was so warm yet Takeshi’s hands were like ice.

“You did offer me to come over.” Takeshi smiled. James could not come to Japan, but Takeshi could take a plane and visit him. He normally would, if only he hadn’t been ending up in hospital every two days lately.

“You should have.”

“I’m a nightmare to spend time with lately, trust me I did you a favour.” Takeshi chuckled.

“I wanted you to come over to get you away from the shit so you could heal, not to have free entertainment.” James rolled his eyes and swatted him across his head.

Takeshi made a face. “When I’m not getting attacked I try to save my business, so I can’t really leave to another country.”

“Unless it’s to Isao’s mommy who makes the best cakes, huh?” James bent suddenly to pick a colorful small stone from the sand. “Nice.” He handed it to Takeshi who took it with a grin.

“I broke in front of all of them like a baby, I had nothing to say after.” Takeshi winced.

James tightened his arm around him. “Are you feeling better now?”

“I do,” he said sincerely.

“I’m glad the trip helped then.”

“They did.”

James nodded. “Right. So what are your birthday plans?”

Takeshi scratched his head. “Um…”

“Oh, come on, you’d normally have everything sorted out already.” Takeshi loved how James could quickly switch to acting like everything was fine the second he made sure it was. “Maybe I will manage to visit…”

“James, no, please. It’s better to wait until your files will be cleared than to screw up and fuck you up for another few years.” Takeshi missed him a lot, but he would never put him in danger for his heart’s sake.

“Pumpkin, stop worrying about my problems.”

Takeshi looked at him with a question in his eyes, but he was completely ignored.

**

If Takeshi would not have heard his name being spoken as he came downstairs, he would have never stood behind the closed door and eavesdrop instead of walking in. After taking a bath in the evening, he stopped to listen to the boys obviously talking about him in the living room.

“Takeshi needs to show up more,” Nobu said.

He pressed his ear to the door.

“Don’t put any trouble on his shoulders now, it seems he’s getting better so let him before…”

“I understand, but there might be nothing to come back to if he won’t show up soon enough. Besides, you’re the one who started, Akira.” Nobu interrupted.

“Well, but it’s my fault. I need to get harsher and the kids will get under control again. I was just too nice.”

“I am pretty sure that what they need is Takeshi to give them a lesson.” Iwao sighed. “He’s getting better, I think he will have enough strength soon enough.”

“I don’t think they would fear him in this state.” Kin murmured.

Takeshi looked down.

“What about the club?” Isao asked.

“Since the cook disappeared it’s getting worse because the new one sucks and now even families don’t show up. Takeshi is a brand, since he does not show up people are losing interest. There’s no night life there anymore.”

They were quiet for a moment.

“At least his business is holding up. But partners are getting annoyed he does not show up anymore.”

“You’re going instead of him, right, Nobu?”

“I am and it’s been fine for awhile, but not anymore.”

Takeshi heard enough. He did not want to burst in the living room and snap at them, so he put the jacket on and went outside for a walk after leaving a note by the door.

When he lost his face he began hiding, but he kept an eye on everything. The club, the business, the youngsters. But the truth is that when you’re not there, you can’t control it.

He could not afford everything to go to hell. It did not matter how he felt anymore, he had to move his ass and save his little world.

Besides, he had more strength. There was no excuse anymore.

Without thinking about it Takeshi made his way towards the old barn, quite far away from Isao’s mother’s home. This one was not used, she kept quite a few old stuff inside though.

For example a very old piano he sometimes played on. And hearing the music coming from there now made him curious. At the beginning he thought that maybe it was someone from the village, but hearing the familiar tune…

He stood in the door watching Sousuke, sitting with his back towards him, slowly trying to remind himself of the tune Takeshi taught him a very long time ago. The place was cold and grey, some sofas, paintings and tables covered with cloths and dust all over. The broken roof showed clear sky full of bright stars.

And his Sousuke like a little angel in the middle of it all.

He knew what was making him anxious.

They were both so similar, not knowing how to deal with their issues. Running away and letting trouble eat their insides instead of seeking help, or at least talking with any of the people who loved them.

“Did my awful musical talent brought you here?” Sousuke asked without turning around.

“No. I am impressed with you noticing the shadow behind you though.” Takeshi slowly made his way towards him and slipped on the sit by him.

Sousuke grinned. “Shadow, huh? That’s your nickname?” His father never told him how people called him and he was beyond curious.

Takeshi shrugged. “Shadow, because I’m quiet. A snake, because I’m fast. A sniper, because I shoot well. A black mamba because I am an asshole,” he chuckled. “A crow because I like shiny things. Jackal, because… I am an asshole.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “Depends whether someone likes me or not. I even heard devil once.” He laughed quietly, fingers touching the piano keys.

Sousuke looked at him carefully. Takeshi had a hoodie on, a jacket, a scarf, and he was still visibly shaking, as much as he tried to stop it. But his nails were purple.

It wasn’t even that cold.

Takeshi started playing quietly, nothing Sousuke recognised, but it was a soft, simple melody. It made him listen, glad his father was here and he couldn’t hurt his ears anymore trying to play himself.

“Your hip, it doesn’t hurt, does it?” Sousuke asked.

Takeshi looked at him confused.

“When you gave me the…”

“Oh.” Takeshi interrupted. “No, of course not.”

“I heard you were sick after the surgery.”

“I made myself sick, it had nothing to do with the surgery.” Takeshi corrected him. Of course the brat found out. “What are you even worrying about. Better tell me if you’re okay.”

Sousuke shrugged dismissively, so he punched him lightly in the arm. “Ow! What?”

“Stop being a little bitch and say what’s bothering you.”

“Says the one that does not talk at all.” Sousuke rolled his eyes. His father was a complete hypocrite.

Takeshi smiled, knowing what Sousuke was thinking. “I’m too old to fix, but we can fix you.”

“Nothing to fix. I’m fine. Hopefully not dying anymore.”

“Ah, so you’re worried about the tests you need to undergo soon after we come back.”

Sousuke looked down.

“You’re going to be okay.” Takeshi caught his jaw so he would look at him and smiled sincerely.

“At least you’re sure.”

“You were stressing so much last time for nothing too.” Both of his hands were playing the melody, now the one Sousuke tried to play before but could not remember it correctly.

He tried to get involved and slowly he remembered, one note by another, Takeshi not commenting his weak attempts.

They did not notice Isao watching them, standing with a thick blanket swung over his arm. When they finished he walked closer and covered Takeshi’s arms, seeing him shaking. Sousuke cooed at them sarcastically as Isao slipped to the sit by him, rubbing his cold arms. The corner of Takeshi’s lips lifted and he pulled Sousuke in his arms, bumping in Isao in result, the three of them laughing, arms around each other.

“You’re going to be okay, kiddo.” Takeshi put his cheek on Sousuke’s head as the boy hugged him tightly. Isao was behind Takeshi supporting his back with his hard body, acting like a radiator with how warm he was. With Sousuke on the other side he felt like they were lulling him to sleep.

“Let’s go inside, I don’t want you two to get sick,” Isao whispered when he saw them slowly starting to snooze off.

**

“Can you see that?” Rin asked as they walked with Sousuke along the beach. He wanted some time alone with Sousuke, as much as he loved being together with everybody, he was seeking alone time too.

He noticed a big black bag that was slightly moving between two rocks in the water. Sousuke jumped in there, water covered him up to his knees and he pulled it out until they were both on the sand. Rin and him quickly untied the bag and gasped seeing two light and one dark fluffy puppies.

“How someone could do such thing?!” Rin asked angrily, puppies squeaking and shivering a little from the cold. Sousuke and Rin both took their jackets off and dried them, petting until they calmed down in their arms.

“People are assholes.” Sousuke shrugged. “We should take them home and then see what to do next.” He grinned when the pup put his paws on his chest, tail wiggling happily.

**

“I’m taking the black one.” Takeshi decided, cuddling up with the quiet pup by the fireplace, blanket around his shoulder.

The other two pups were running around happily.

“Shouldn’t we find their owner?” Nobu asked, sitting opposite to Takeshi on the sofa.

“Their owner drowned them.” Kisumi sat on the floor in the living room and started throwing twigs for the puppies to catch. “I want at least one.”

“We will take the third one then.” Sousuke smiled and hugged Rin with one arm.

“You know puppy isn’t just all fun, you have to take care of it every day, right?” Isao who sat by Takeshi looked at Kisumi who rolled his eyes in response, making Isao throw a pillow in his face.

“What breed are they?” Akira asked curiously.

“They look like newfoundlands.” Isao’s mother cocked her head. She smiled. “You should keep them.”

**

The week quickly went by. Isao wasn’t sure whether they accomplished what he wished for. In a way he hoped Takeshi would heal completely, but it was ridiculous to expect someone this hurt to heal in a week.

Takeshi did start eating a little more, got some colour back in his face, finally smiled and joked with them. On the surface he seemed absolutely fine.

Isao had no idea what Takeshi was constantly talking about with his mother, but he was glad they were. She was making Takeshi cook with her, making him used to the smell and taste of food again. It clearly was helping.

And now after a whole week they were hugging each other, saying goodbyes, promising to see each other as soon as possible.

“I will call when we will arrive in Tokyo.” Isao brought his arms around his mother. “Don’t worry about us.”

“You two take care of each other.” She stroked his and Takeshi’s cheeks. “And have a lovely birthday. I’m sure the present will arrive on time.”

“Mom, I told you to not get me anything.” Takeshi shook his head. Isao smiled hearing him calling her a mom again.

“Don’t be a fool.” She ruffled his hair. “Have a good journey. I will see you soon.” She gave them a look that promised hell if they would not come back sooner than later.

**

Takeshi did not say anything when Isao went home with him, helped to take the bags out of the car and brought them up to his bedroom. The pup got himself comfortable on the fluffy carpet in front of the bed and Takeshi quickly found a bowl and poured water into it.

He just wanted to drop on the bed and go to sleep, exhausted from the long journey, but he stood awkwardly in the door as Isao put the bags on the side.

He did not want to be alone. But even if Isao remembered how he broke and finally told him how terrified he is, how being on his own was the last thing he wished, there were enough rooms in his house.

Isao had to be exhausted even if he slept on the plane, and Takeshi felt like crap thinking about making him stay.

He was so deep in his thoughts that he did not notice Isao standing in front of him, corner of his lips lifted in a smile.

“Sorry,” Takeshi murmured when Isao lifted his hand to touch his cheek.

“You’re tired.” His thumb traced the dark shadows underneath Takeshi’s eyes.

“You’re the one who was driving.”

“And you’re the one who did not sleep to keep me company.” Isao put his hands on his shoulders. “May I stay tonight?”

When Takeshi breathed out in relief he did not expect Isao to bring him into a tight hug, but he melted in it, body relaxing as put his arms around Isao’s middle, letting himself be held by the muscly arms. A soft sigh escaped his throat when Isao kissed his temple, and he closed his eyes, letting himself be lifted and carried to the bed that was so close.

They fell asleep curled up together.

**

Takeshi looked for Nalin in his private rooms but realising he wasn’t there, he quickly went down to his dungeons. He stood quietly in the back seeing Nalin concentrated on weighting drugs, mixing, cooking something. When Nalin tied his hair back tightly, it meant not to start with him.

It was sort of cute really.

When Nalin rolled his shoulders back, straightening, Takeshi patted the stonewall with his fingers knowing it was enough to make Nalin hear him.

He turned around and cocked his eyebrow trying to act not amused, but Takeshi ignored him and threw himself in his arms in an exaggerated desperation.

“Welcome back.” Nalin hugged him back a little surprised.

“Did you miss me?”

“Of course.”

Takeshi rolled his eyes, letting go. “You could have made that sound a little more convincing.”

Nalin smirked and pulled him closer to the table. “See this?” He pointed at the three syringes lying on a silver platter.

“Yeah…?”

“Get ready, I will inject them in your eye.”

Takeshi jumped away. “What the fuck?” He cringed just imagining it. He seriously had to take Nalin out for coffee or something so their meetings would not only consist of him with needles in his body.

“Don’t worry, I will put you to sleep,” Nalin shrugged. “It is going to hurt for some time after, though.” He already knew Takeshi was going to agree to it seeing him putting his hands on the hips with a sigh.

**

“Relax, Jesus…” Nalin rolled his eyes when Takeshi continued on patting tips of his fingers against the table he was lying on. They were in Nalin’s medical room.

“You’re not the one waiting for a needle to be inserted in your eye!”

“I had worse things done to me when I was awake, calm down.”

Takeshi furrowed his eyebrows but Nalin made sure he fell asleep before he could ask. He slowly sat on a chair behind his head and put gloves on, eyes on Takeshi’s face.

Time to work.

**

“My head is killing me.” Takeshi lifted himself into a sitting position on Nalin’s bed, feeling as if half of his face was swollen. He could feel the bandage that was going across his head to hold the thick bandage over his eye as his whole body ached over.

“It will. Your face will hurt, and your eye will be red and bleeding for some time.” Nalin handed him a glass of water filled with slices of lemon. “Which might make you dizzy and feel quite sick.”

“Sweet.” Takeshi sipped it slowly, closing his healthy eye.

Nalin moved to put more pillows behind him so he could lie in a half-sitting position which Takeshi gladly did. “Rest some more.”

“Hey, does it mean my eye will be fine in time for my birthday party?” Takeshi asked.

“I think it should be.” Nalin took the glass of water from him and stood up, grabbing the blanket and throwing it over Takeshi’s body.

“Good. I don’t have all the details yet but I will let you know soon enough.” Takeshi slipped underneath it.

“About what?” Florist looked at him confused.

“My birthday party.”

“Your birthday party what?”

“At what time the party is going to be, what else?” Takeshi snorted, but seeing Nalin continuing to stare at him in the same way he sat up. “You thought that I am not going to invite you after everything you have done for me and Sousuke?” he asked shocked.

Nalin opened his mouth but closed it as quickly. “Um…”

“You better fucking come.”

“That’s so not a good idea,” Nalin got over his shock and chuckled. “Unless you want your birthday party to get awfully awkward.”

“Nalin, there’s going to be over hundred people invited, you don’t need to sit with my boys through whole night. Besides, I am going to be there so what do you fear?”

“It’s not about fear, it’s about sitting there with everybody whispering behind my back or looking at me hoping I will drop dead. Pointless, really.”

Takeshi caught his hand and made him sit by him. “People always talk and wish you badly when you’re successful. Do you know how many people invited to MY party, by ME, will smile and wish me happy birthday only to talk shit about my looks, my outfit, my family, my friends, and finally my party, the second they will walk out of the place? Do you know how many people are eager to see me not because they miss my company but because they want to find out whether I was seriously nearly murdered by Isao’s father, whether Isao and me are still together, whether I am sick and it’s visible?” He smiled. “The point is to not give a fuck. As simple as that. There’s going to be a lot of people who you will know too, a lot who you don’t know but who will come to you the second the name ‘drug dealer’ will drop, and I will be there making sure everything is fine. You are invited and I do not accept rejections.” He grinned with a wink.

As impressed as Florist was with him, he still shook his head in defeat. “This is so not going to end well.”

“It’s going to be amazing,” Takeshi corrected him. “Trust me, my parties are the shit.”

The headache was killing him, but he knew one thing. There was a lot he had to do before his birthday.

And he was ready for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for so many kudos, all the comments and messages <3


	52. Flesh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hold me down  
> And make me scream  
> Lay me on the floor  
> Turn me on  
> And take me out  
> Make me beg for more
> 
> Hold my hands above my head  
> And push my face into the bed  
> Cause I'm a screamer baby  
> Make me a mute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Sousuke closed his eyes tightly waiting in the hospital corridor to be called in the nurse’s office. Today he was meant to have tests and quickly receive his results, hear whether the cancer fucked off or not.

His father, sitting by him, knew him well enough to not talk at this moment, just be by his side.

They had a deal.

Sousuke informed Takeshi about everything and he was meant to be the only person to know. In return Takeshi was meant to tell him when the doctors wanted to check on him. Both wanted to hide it, both refused to stop asking the other when they were meant to go to the hospital, both ended up only telling each other.

Takeshi stood by his side through every test, held his hand when he was injected, joked to take his mind off it. In reality it was better to have someone by your side, especially your own dad.

It wasn’t painful to look at him anymore, he gained enough weight to be considered skinny but not deathly sick anymore, and it seemed he was more energetic. Sousuke only worried about him having even more bandages over his eye now.

“Okay, let me have a look.” The doctor sat them in front of himself in his office and started looking through the results.

Being rich had many privileges and getting results this quickly was surely one of them.

Sousuke hugged himself, trying to stop his hands from shaking. Takeshi put his hand on his shoulder, thumb stroking it.

“Everything seems perfectly fine to me.” The doctor lifted his head from the documents with a smile. “You’re a little anaemic, but that’s nothing surprising.”

Takeshi smiled widely and shook Sousuke a little, feeling weight dropping from his heart. Sousuke was starring dumbly but finally breathed out, shoulders relaxing.

“Don’t you ‘I told you so’ me,” he warned his father seeing him opening his mouth. Takeshi grinned and just tightened his hand.

His son hopefully would never find out how it feels when your son is so sick. He could not understand how it was pretending to be calm, smiling, cheering your child up when you know that anything could happen. He did not sleep for the past few days, feeling sick just thinking about this day.

Takeshi had many awful things done to him, but nothing was worse than watching his son dying in his arms.

He also knew and respected that he had no idea how an eighteen year old boy had to feel going through this nightmare again. The worst thing about cancer was that it could always come back.

Takeshi wished that he could take the illness on his shoulders. Considering how much his father hated him they surely both wished he would end up sick, but of course in this case, the illness had to forget about him and instead go for his son.

Cancers should go after bastards, like it did with his father, not after innocent boys.

“So.” The doctor looked at Takeshi. “Time to check on you.”

Takeshi stopped smiling.

**

“You’re still too skinny.” The doctor showed Takeshi the chair and went for the syringes. “Roll up your sleeve.”

Sousuke wasn’t surprised that the doctor was checking on Takeshi alone. His father was always giving him the biggest protection, but the truth was that he wasn’t even that important. The only reason someone would want to attack him was because of Takeshi. On the other hand his father was acting like nothing could happen to him and everybody around him was treating him with special care. Even Sousuke sometimes forgot how important his father actually was and the amount of danger he was in.

He was more aware of his father’s status when he was treating him like an unimportant brat and always left the town so he did not see him for weeks or made him leave as well.

But it was interesting trying to figure out what the hell was going on. 

“You doctors are never happy.” Takeshi rolled his eyes instead and sat, Sousuke close to his side.

“Don’t faint.” The doctor smirked as he took a small chair to sit by his other side and pushed his sleeve up, after placing three syringes on a silver plate.

Takeshi glared at him.

“You fainted before?” Sousuke chuckled.

Takeshi showed him his middle finger.

“He did,” The doctor decided to continue on embarrassing him. “I told him to not eat in the morning, so he decided to not eat for a whole week instead and then was very surprised he blacked out.”

“You’re stupid.” Sousuke informed him father.

“I think you should wait outside.” Takeshi had an urge to kick him.

“A deal is a deal.” He shrugged. “So deal with it.”

**

Maybe it wasn’t only about eating because Takeshi went so pale in his face when the doctor finished that the he quickly made him lie down.

Sousuke winced seeing him checking his kidneys, turning the heart monitor on and attaching him to the little cables to check on his heart too. He was the one with cancer but Takeshi’s tests seemed way more severe.

“Feeling a little better?” Sousuke asked when the doctor left to another office to get blood results.

“Yeah, don’t worry,” Takeshi said quietly, hand covering his eyes.

Sousuke caressed his shoulder so he put his hand over his instead with a smile. “Told you that you’re going to be fine.”

Sousuke growled and slapped him.

**

“I’ve heard your results improved.” Isao leaned on the island in the middle of the kitchen, watching Takeshi putting food in the bowl for the puppy. “And Sousuke is healthy.”

“Yes.” Takeshi smiled, turning around kneeled on the floor. “All’s good.”

“So can I take you to the gym now?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Takeshi chuckled standing up. They had an agreement that once he will get healthier, they will begin working on his strength. “I guess so.”

He walked up to him and put his hands on his hips. “You will feel a lot better.”

“There’s not much time until my birthday, and I need to look my absolute best for that.” Takeshi put his hands on his big arms. He always had a thing for Isao’s strong body, maybe it was because he was so much smaller and he had a fetish, maybe he just knew how to appreciate the male beauty, but he tried to pretend he did not know that Isao was very aware of what he liked.

“You always look better than everybody around you.” He held him close. “It’s about making you feel better.”

“And hungry, huh?” He knew what this was about.

“Wouldn’t hurt.” Isao shrugged.

Takeshi rolled his eyes, so Isao bent to kiss him on the lips, grabbing him by the bum to press him to his body, squeezing more when Takeshi moaned in his mouth. There was something beyond satisfying in making Takeshi weak in his knees, and he was always proud of being able to do it. It wasn’t only because Takeshi was so composed during business situations that it was great to get him hot and bothered, but also because he was so damn flirty and in control of everybody that having control over him was a major turn on.

Isao was starving to feel Takeshi’s naked body against his again, to touch him, make him gasp from pleasure. He couldn’t manage to hide how hot his body was for him anymore.

But whenever his hands reached underneath his shirt, Takeshi automatically tensed, snapping out of pleasure and he quickly pushed him away. Isao wanted him so badly that he wished Takeshi would just let him grab him and take on the nearest surface at this point, but a ‘no’ was a ‘no’.

At the beginning he thought that this was simply because he left him and he needed to gain trust again. But after some time he realised this wasn’t about him at all.

It were the scars.

Nalin did wonders to his face, from what he managed to find out, that took a lot of painful injections. Obviously he could not do that to his whole body where there were way more and deeper wounds, so Takeshi got some lotion instead.

Bruises made Takeshi insecure, especially since his poor face was covered with bandages again because he let Nalin do something to his eye too.

When he met Takeshi for the first time all those year ago, obviously at first it was only sexual attraction because they did not know each other at all. Takeshi was sexy, flirty, confident and smart in the way he carried himself. He had looks, tiny flexible body with a butt made for his hands to hold, sweet lips and eyes to die for. Isao was a goner with a snap of fingers.

And Takeshi teased him so much from the beginning that he turned into an animal for him. Seriously, he was conditioned to just look at his ass and be ready for game. It wasn’t even funny.

But after you know someone for a while, looks aren’t and should not be the only thing that turns you on. He was so in love with Takeshi that no matter what would happen, he would always be sexy as hell to him. And while Takeshi’s insecurity wasn’t about Isao, he felt that he could help him feel better overall. He just wasn’t sure how to do it.

“I’m sorry.” Takeshi put his hands on Isao’s chest. “I…”

“It’s okay, you don’t need to explain yourself.” Isao hugged him instead, placing a kiss on his temple. “I will wait as long as you want. It’s all up to you.”

Takeshi closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to Isao’s shoulder.

“I want you,” Takeshi whispered, smiling a little hearing Isao inhaling sharply. “But I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Do you really think I’m this shallow?” Isao took his shoulders in his hands. “You never cared about any of my bruises, it did not even cross my mind that you could push me away because of them. Why do you think I would care?”

“I was always the looks,” Takeshi said quietly.

Isao was silent for a moment. “How can you believe that after everything you have accomplished? Come on, Takeshi…” It always broke his heart a little.

Takeshi looked down. It’s just how it was.

Deep inside he knew that it couldn’t have been the looks on their own, but it was drilled into his brain since he could remember. And when you’re reminded of it all while having crap beaten out of you, knife wounding your whole body…

He remembered every time he just looked at himself.

“Being beautiful helps a lot in life. But trust me it’s so not enough to build an empire and keep people by your side.” Isao brushed his hair back and stroked his cheek.

“I know…”

Isao smiled. “Would you like to go out for a late dinner or stay inside today?”

“I should have this off soon enough,” He pointed at the bandage over his eye, “Not feeling like dining anywhere with it on, to be absolutely honest.”

“That’s fine. So take-away or should I cook something?”

“Are you seriously making me choose between your kitchen and someone else’s?” Takeshi snorted.

“Fair play, but you’re doing chateau next time.” He pushed him away from the kitchen with a slap on the ass, making him chuckle.

**

Akira growled when the brats continued on chatting after he told them to start fighting. At the beginning they listened, now they pretended he wasn’t even here.

How stupid were they?

He understood everybody got lazy sometimes and the kids were working non-stop. But they wanted to join freaking Yakuza. If they won’t know everything, they will be killed.

Akira jumped startled when someone put their hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see Takeshi, standing behind him with Isao.

“You should have told me that this is what’s going on.” Takeshi shook his head in disapproval.

“I wanted to deal with it on my own.” Akira scratched his head in awkwardness, taking in his pretty face. It was a relief to see Takeshi all soft and calm again.

“I prefer if people ask for help.” Takeshi looked at him tellingly. “Let’s get to work.” He clapped his hands together and walked towards the edge to have a clear look at the kids, chatting, not even noticing he came.

Takeshi put two fingers up to his mouth and whistled as loud as he could manage.

The kids turned around surprised, smiles disappearing realising he was watching them.

It became quiet.

“A few good weeks ago I have left you in Akira’s arms, trusting you to do your best so when I would return you’d show me your fantastic progress.” The corner of his lips lifted in irony. “Get in pairs, it’s time to get rid of the weakest links.”

Oh he missed the fear on people’s faces.

**

Okay, so deep inside he was a bit of a sadist. He loved seeing those kids struggling to catch breath after an hour of running, hitting bags, skipping, sparring, one after another, again and again. Especially since it was only the beginning.

Their shooting skills were so atrocious that he had an urge to shoot them.

When he continued on testing them, ignoring the tears and a few being sick, they started giving up. The truth was that at this point, if they have kept with the program, they would have no issue in surviving today.

But they did not and now they had to pay.

“Enough!”

Takeshi cocked his eyebrow when one boy with a shaved head stopped him from walking around as he shouted and others quickly looked at him in surprise and curiosity.

“This is not fair!” he continued, pissed off. “This is cruel! It’s too much! No one can do this!”

Isao standing behind Takeshi snorted. If those little shits knew the training he went through and that only for one man.

The man who was starring at the boy in such patronising way that he was already regretting his choice to speak up. Isao knew that Takeshi, for obvious reasons, wanted to have his eye healthy again, but the black patch over his it made him appear scarier.

It was funny because the kid was taller than Takeshi but he did not seem so at the moment.

“Well, you surely won’t do well in the gang if you did not even bother to learn the basics,” Takeshi said quietly.

“I don’t give a fuck! I’m quitting!”

“Fantastic.” Takeshi grinned, hands covered in silky black gloves placed for a second on his heart. “Please do me a favour, Isao.” His name was a soft sound.

Isao took his gun out, lifted his hand and shot the kid right in between his eyes.

The kids screamed terrified, jumping back quickly. Takeshi did not even blink when some cried, covered their mouths as their bodies shook. He laughed quietly instead.

“I have warned you. There is no exit door.” he said, voice low. “You all are going to respect me and my people, you will do as you’re told, or you will end up as your friend. Now get back to work.”

Isao missed the shivers.

**

It was awful but Isao could not stop the feeling of happiness deep in his chest. It was a busy day, Takeshi wanted to do everything within a few hours. Sort the kids out, meet with business partners, and now they were making their way to the brothel in the darkness of the night.

The club was left for another day, but from what he knew only because Takeshi was waiting for a specific cook to come back from holiday.

Takeshi looked so much better just carrying himself with confidence again. He did not mind the leather pants either. Isao surely did not care how many people had to die and be put in order for him to feel this good, he could do it all for him.

The brothel wasn’t just rooms and a reception, it was attached to a club where people could do absolutely whatever they wanted, including far more than just snogging in the corner. Any sort of cameras were strictly prohibited.

Takeshi was forbidden from creating his Underground, so he decided to take certain ideas and give an R rating to them.

Isao had issues trying to keep Takeshi safe in such places. Red light, smoke, so many people… It was a large place, leather sofas on the sides giving people some space, poles in a few places letting girls and guys dance, the bar seemed to not end anywhere, striptease ready with people sitting around waiting to watch and give tips.

He kept close to Takeshi as they went to the side to a small room, where the man taking care of the club was meant to be waiting for them.

The guy stood up but did not have time to say a word before Isao punched him in the face. Takeshi sat on the leather chair in the room, computer on the side on a small table filled with documents.

“Where’s my money?” Takeshi smiled like nothing happened.

“Boss, I am really trying my best, but…” He lifted himself up from the floor, trying to stop the blood from running down his chin.

“Don’t make Isao hit you again.” Takeshi recommended, bending a little to take a square jewellery box in his hand from the desk. He opened it curiously, a grin showing up on his face when a bracelet full of diamonds shined in the light. “I love presents, thank you, dear.” He put it on his wrist.

Fucking bastard, so this was how he spent his money.

“Looks good on you.” Isao nodded.

“Thank you.” His lips were more expensive than the jewellery.

The guy opened his mouth, raising his finger, but decided to not risk his life even more.

“You’ve got time till the end of this week or I am going to kill you.” Takeshi stood up. “And I’m taking this.” He showed his wrist encased in diamonds.

Isao opened the door and showed Takeshi to walk out first.

He did gracefully.

**

He wasn’t surprised when Takeshi offered to stay in the club. He did not spend an hour dressing up just for a five minutes business meeting. It was good seeing him all sexy and confident again, the devilish spark back in his eyes.

Little shit knew how to make himself breath-taking. Isao loved the dark lines around his eyes underlining how beautiful they were, red lipstick making his lips even more desirable. With his body not so sickly thin anymore, he did not hide himself behind thick jumpers, but wore dress shirts and tight pants again.

He was the walking sex.

Isao was controlling himself, but when Takeshi pulled him into a hot dance, and started moving his hips, rubbing against him with his back turned towards him, he did not stop himself from catching them in a grip. He buried his face in his slightly curly hair when Takeshi threw his head back, growing hot with Takeshi pressed to him.

It was good being able to not care whether someone was watching, just doing whatever you wanted. Here he could grab him, kiss him, touch him just the way he wished, in front of everybody, like they had nothing to hide. Takeshi was his and others could only fucking watch for once. Sometimes he had enough of biting his tongue.

He used moments like those.

Isao let his hands wander, the long shirt soft in his touch, slipping through his fingers. The music was so loud, there was so much smoke, everybody was so drunk…

He could only feel him, the small curve of his body.

Takeshi turned around and caught his mouth in a kiss. Isao deepened it, hands holding his face possessively, smiling when Takeshi moaned. He kissed his cheek, his throat, and quickly came back to his lips, hands tightening a little in his hair.

There was no need to see Takeshi to know his cheeks were red hot.

When the music slowed down so did they, holding each other close. Takeshi kept his arms around his chest, face in the crook of his neck, but he did not stop Isao from continuing on touching him.

“You’re so beautiful,” Isao murmured into his ear, squeezing his ass. He was rock hard. “I want you so bad...”

Isao didn’t care how, where, only when at this point. He just wanted to tear the clothes off Takeshi, kiss him everywhere, feel him, touch him. He was starving for his moans.

It’s been so long.

Takeshi smiled against his lips, teasing him not letting him kiss. Isao growled impatient. “Tsk, tsk.” Takeshi grinned like the little devil he was. “You’re so collected usually.”

“Don’t be so cheeky, I can tell those tiny pants of yours are starting to hurt,” Isao smirked, thinking he won.

Takeshi chuckled as his hand slowly travelled down Isao’s shirt, “It would be more uncomfortable if I had anything under them,” he whispered into his hear.

The noise Isao made was totally worth it. Takeshi forgot how it was being manhandled by him, but clearly today Isao decided to remind him. He blinked and they were already back home, and Takeshi did not even have time to think about his insecurities, about the bruises, about anything, before Isao tore the clothes off him on their way to the bedroom and then threw him at the top of the bed. He kissed him like he saw none of them.

Takeshi could feel himself burning, back arching in want feeling Isao’s hard and hot body between his thighs that he ensured to make him spread quickly. Isao was so hot, so beautiful, kissing him everywhere, licking, biting, caressing, and Takeshi did not stop his hands from touching the chiselled chest, stomach, back and arms, tracing the muscles and completely giving in.

Isao was beyond satisfied whenever he gasped in pleasure, always so smug when making him lose all the control, so he ensured to leave marks on his back in return. Isao could be happy with himself remembering Takeshi screaming, but he would be smirking seeing him wincing in the morning whenever material would touch his back. He had sharp nails.

It’s been so long he wasn’t surprised that after the first round, not giving him enough time to stop his thighs from shaking around Isao’s hips, he was quickly turned around, hips hiked up. They both were not meant to have enough for a while.

He did not care much about positions, because when they finished he always ended cuddled up in Isao’s arms anyway, whether they spent the night quickly fucking against the nearest wall or making love for hours in the warm bed, but today he loved the mix of love and dominance. He missed the darker side of Isao, the animalistic side he proudly made appear with just a move of his hips. He liked the dirty talk, the possessiveness, the pushing him around, tugging his hair, biting, catching him behind his knees with his large, strong warm hands, spreading his legs, making him sit over his hips, hiking his up, all just as Isao wanted at the time and Takeshi had nothing to say. He just hung desperately on him and Isao did not let go even once.

He liked that he was so much stronger than him. When you’re meant to have all the power, it was the biggest relief to let yourself be held sometimes.

Isao was always the only person Takeshi trusted completely. There was no fear, Takeshi could just feel. Isao knew when Takeshi wanted him to take control.

With everything that happened in the past few months, Takeshi’s trust meant the world to Isao. But it wasn’t only about that. Takeshi just wanted Isao to make him forget about the pain, about hiding it for so long and suffocating. To not think for at least one night.

And Isao was going to do that.

**

Takeshi put his cheek on Isao’s chest, arm around his middle. He was sweaty and so was Isao, neither of them caring. “What’s up with you always smoking after good sex?” Takeshi yawned, eyes closing.

It had to be nearly morning.

“I’m with the most beautiful human being in bed, with who I just had a fantastic sex with. Why not add a good cigar to it.” Isao let the smoke slowly out of his mouth, fingertips slowly tracing Takeshi’s back and bum.

He started chuckling, so Isao slapped him on the ass.

“Hey!”

“Behave.”

“You’re a typical man, getting that ego boost after sex, huh?” Takeshi snorted, pulling himself a little higher to kiss him in the corner of the lips. “And you’re obsessed with my ass.” He rolled his eyes feeling one hand on his cheek. Isao looked at him and put both on his ass, one on each cheek, leaving the cigar in his mouth with a ridiculous look.

Takeshi started laughing.

Isao smiled and put the cig away when Takeshi got himself comfortable. He kissed the top of his head and hugged him close.

“I love you,” Isao whispered.

“I love you too.”

Isao smiled, hiding his face in Takeshi’s fluffy hair.

**

Takeshi stretched, feeling shockingly relaxed like after a good, long massage. It was warm underneath the covers, and he wasn’t sure whether he was awake or still asleep.

He smiled and closed his eyes, purring happily.

“Morning.” He felt Isao pulling the covers off his head and ruffling his hair. “I brought us breakfast.”

“Pancakes?” he mumbled in the pillow.

“Yes.”

“Love pancakes.”

“You’re going to turn into a pancake one day.” Isao kissed him on the lips when he finally turned on his back.

“You like pancakes, so that’s okay.”

Isao laughed.

**

“You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”

Isao thought it was going to be a great idea to make Takeshi box again, not only to make him gain strength, but to make him hungry. Considering the fact that Takeshi was eating practically nothing, he did manage to gain weight on the little he began to eat. But it worked at the very beginning and he was not going to continue on gaining on a pancake a day.

He was weak and malnourished.

Takeshi’s answer to his proposition was as follows;

He was standing in the middle of the stairs, leaning against the railing in Isao’s shirt encasing his little form, of course not buttoned up completely and letting one shoulder show, the end reaching the middle of his thighs. Apart from this he only wore a flirty smile on his face, hiding a little behind his soft, slightly curled hair.

“I’ve absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” he gasped comically.

“Come on, I will go easy on you.” Isao grinned trying to hide his arousal, slowly walking up the stairs.

“But if we’d stay home, we could exercise another way,” Takeshi said quietly against his lips as Isao stopped one step lower, hand slowly sliding up his soft thigh towards his hip.

“Did you know boxers don’t have sex before fights to build up the frustration and in result fight better?”

Takeshi growled.

“Put something comfortable on, I will be waiting in the living room.” He kissed him on the lips, ignoring the tight line they were pressed into.

**

He made sure to have the boxing gym free so no one would stress Takeshi. He was actually pretty good at boxing but he was anxious that because he did not look like a boxer then everybody would laugh at him. For obvious reasons he did not have the strongest hit either.

Isao did not give a shit, he just wanted him to get hungry and fit. And it always worked well for Takeshi to have a massive bag he could get all his frustrations out on.

Takeshi smiled at him when he wrapped his hands and wrists in a bandage.

“Remember, thumb outside the fist.”

“Yes, sir.” The smirk was back.

“Show me the moves then, baby.”

**

Takeshi thought that he was dying, wondering what the hell was “not going easy” according to Isao. He made him skip, hit the bag, spar with him, practice moves with weights, and finally do sit-ups, push-ups and whatever else. All three times faster than he made the kids do.

He wasn’t hungry, he had an urge to kill Isao instead.

So when Isao quickly left to answer his phone he began hitting the bag on his own.

He only stopped when he felt Isao’s hard body against his back and his hands on his hips.

“I forgot how hot you look beating the shit out of things,” Isao growled in his ear, hands reaching underneath his shirt, touching his sweaty stomach and chest.

Takeshi chuckled, throwing his head back and letting Isao kiss his neck.

“You know there’s no one here…” Isao murmured, rubbing against him noticeably.

“Oh, hell no, I am not letting you shag me in a stinky gym,” Takeshi made a disgusted face, slapping Isao’s hands away knowing he was rolling his eyes. “I did offer to stay in today, you chose boxing over it. Now suffer.” He faced him and patted his cheeks, trying not to laugh at the pout.

**

“Thank you for the lift and going with me,” Rin sat in the back of the car after Isao opened the door. Sousuke could not go with him for the scan because he was working for Yakuza, mom was out of town, so Sousuke arranged for Isao and Takeshi to go with him.

He really appreciated the luxury cars they had when it was difficult to find a position comfortable to sit in.

“No problem. We just have to pick Takeshi up from the club and we’re ready to go.” Isao smiled. “So apparently today you’re finding out whether it’s a boy or a girl, huh?”

Rin grinned. “I want to find out, Sousuke said he doesn’t want to know… So he did not complain when his dad gave him a job to do.” They could have found out ages ago but because of the trips and being busy overall they moved the scan for a few weeks later. They were discussing and changing their minds a lot with Sousuke but finally came to the decision.

“Fair play.”

They quickly arrived at the club, where Takeshi was standing in front of it with the bodyguard, talking about something. He did not notice them, clearly invested in the conversation.

Isao beeped and Takeshi turned around, grinned and quickly said goodbyes.

“Hello.” Rin wondered whether he would ever stop feeling so uncomfortable in Takeshi’s presence. When he was visibly sick, it was somehow easier until he realised that weak people are even more dangerous. And seeing him suddenly snapping out of it and looking and feeling good was a little terrifying.

Maybe it was an act, but it only made him less trustworthy.

“Hey, kiddo.”

Instead of driving away, Isao furrowed his eyebrows, head cocked a little facing Takeshi.

“What?” Takeshi asked confused.

“Have you done something to yourself?”

“Yeah, I spent whole morning at spa and hairdresser, good that you’ve noticed.” He rolled his eyes, while Rin tried not to laugh. Isao and Sousuke could shook hands as two blind fools.

“Well, I have.” Isao shrugged.

“So what exactly have I done, then?” Takeshi starred at him.

Isao opened and closed his mouth quickly. “I can’t look now, I need to focus on the road.”

Takeshi looked in disbelief. “You men are fucking useless.”

“Hey! The last time I checked you were a man too.” Isao slapped his thigh making Takeshi hiss and slap him hard on the arm in return.

Rin hid his face behind the scarf, shoulders shaking.

**

“Oh, okay, I see it now.”

When they arrived in the hospital and soon sat in the waiting room, Isao touched the side of Takeshi’s head where it was shaved, zig-zags around the ear, rest of the thick hair pulled up in a tight ponytail.

“Genius.” Takeshi rolled his eyes, focused on his phone.

Rin just continued on watching them, they were better than the tv shows he was binge-watching lately due to lack of strength to do anything else.

He just wanted to give birth already and stop looking like a balloon.

Isao poked the long silver earring dangling from Takeshi’s ear. “Don’t be mad, come on, grandpa.”

Takeshi lifted his head and looked blankly at Rin sitting opposite to him.

“Do I look like a grandfather?”

Rin gaped. Erm, well, no. He looked younger than him at the moment, probably.

Asshole.

“I will tell him to call me by a name.” Takeshi shrugged.

“Seriously?” Isao snorted.

“Why not?”

“You should be proud to be a granddad of your son’s son or daughter.”

“Why according to you that means I am not proud?”

Oh Lord, Rin hoped they weren’t about to start fighting.

“Because you’re ashamed of being called a grandpa.”

“I’m not ashamed, I just don’t look like one so everybody would be confused.”

“Technically speaking you’d be even cooler when people would find out you’re a grandfather yet you look like young hot shit and buy the kid expensive presents and take him on trips in your amazing car. You know, ‘damn, that is your granddad?!’”

“Hmm.” Takeshi patted his fingertips against his lips.

Rin was glad when they called him in.

“You want us to wait outside or come with you, kiddo?” Isao asked, Takeshi unsure.

Rin smiled. “Well if you want to see your grandkid…”

**

“You want to take last bets?” The doctor asked, eyeing the monitor as his hand moved the ‘wand’ across Rin’s stomach.

“A boy?” Takeshi guessed.

“I think it’s a girl.” Rin smiled.

“Uh, let’s put a bet on a boy, too.”

“Well, then… They owe you a drink, Rin. It’s a girl.” The doctor put away the machine, reaching for tissues to wipe the liquid off.

Rin squeaked a little, embarrassed covered his mouth. He knew it! They say the pregnant person knows the best, and it was true. Now they all had to stop acting like it was going to be a boy. Ha!

Takeshi who was a little quiet since they came inside, something clearly making him uncomfortable, beamed with Isao.

“A little girl, huh…” Takeshi hummed. “Freaking knew I should have bought that little dress from Alexander.”

“Oh no. Time to go.” Isao quickly stood up, sensing the upcoming shopping topic.

Rin laughed quietly.

**

Takeshi moved the food around the plate, sitting at the island in the kitchen. If he hadn’t lost the baby all those weeks ago, he’d be showing now.

He wondered whether it was a boy or a girl. Whether they’d take more after Isao or him. Would they make good parents to their child?

But even if Isao would not decide to abort, he was then attacked again and again… the child would not have survived anyway. And it was better he died when still could not feel a thing, than if he suffered with him.

He did not have enough strength to be responsible for a little baby.

“What’s wrong?” Isao sat by him quietly and kissed his shoulder.

Takeshi shrugged. It was late and quiet, he wasn’t in the mood for any sound so the only one was wood cracking from heat in the fireplace. It gave the only light in the kitchen attached to the living room too.

“Please, I can see the visit have upset you.” He slowly caressed his back.

“I was just thinking that I could have been in his place, that’s all.” Takeshi put the spoon in his mouth, then slowly chewed on the food. He felt like eating cardboard and it was sticking to his throat.

Isao closed his eyes for a second. One hand on Takeshi’s thigh he bent to kiss him behind his ear, sitting sideways. “You never know what’s next. We’re not using protection...”

Takeshi chuckled. “Anorexic, depressed idiot with little chance of pregnancy, should have none, somehow got pregnant and lost… Yeah, I think you need to find yourself someone better if you want children.”

“Hey, look at me.” Isao reached for his cheek and took it in his hand, making Takeshi turn his head towards him. “I don’t want someone who will provide me with children. I already have one perfect child. You already have one perfect child. We don’t need more children to be happy, however, if you did get pregnant again, and you might because it happened already, then I would be as happy.”

“I feel l let you down again,” Takeshi whispered, eyes on the plate. “There’s always something wrong with me. I’m always the disappointment. I can’t even get you more kids and we talked about it once and…”

“Takeshi, you lost the baby because Nalin poisoned you. You’re sick now because my father tortured you. Depression, anorexia… They’re mental illnesses, you don’t just snap out of it and your father ensured to keep you sick since I can remember. You’re doing fantastic, I would just broke if I were you.” He kissed his shoulder, thumb stroking his thigh.

Takeshi quickly wiped the tears off before they could run down his cheeks. The thing that he hated the most about himself was that his mood was swinging like crazy all the damn time. Why couldn’t he just be happy? He just found out that he was going to have a granddaughter, he should be jumping from happiness, but instead his stupid brain preferred to focus on his inability to keep a child.

Isao grasped him under his knees and back and made his sit on his lap instead. Takeshi quickly hugged him, relaxing in his arms, smiling feeling the warm kisses on his neck.

“Tomorrow is going to be a better day,” Isao said quietly into his ear.

Takeshi hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments and messages <3


	53. Birthday Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birthday party is for the biggest, best surprises.  
> And what's James' secret?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

“Close both of your eyes.”

Takeshi took a deep breath in, doing as he was told. He was sat on a chair in Nalin’s private room. Today he was meant to take the bandages off his eye and finally see.

He was freaking scared.

Nalin took the bandage off, cleaned the area around his eye and finally stood behind him and put his hands on top of his shoulders.

Takeshi slowly opened his eyes. The image was blurry but he could feel his heart beating faster as his vision began clearing.

He could see. He could see perfectly again.

“How is…” Nalin did not finish when Takeshi turned around quickly and threw himself in his arms.

“Thank you!” He murmured in the crook of his neck. “You’re the best, absolutely the best.”

Nalin smiled and patted him on the back. “I know.”

Takeshi chuckled at the sound of pride in his voice. “You’re ready for the party?”

“Ah, about that, Takeshi, I seriously don’t think…” Takeshi covered his mouth with his hand before he could finish.

“I will see you at eight. Now I need to prepare the rest. See you!” Takeshi quickly kissed him on the cheek and practically ran out of the room in little jumps.

Fuck. Nalin sat on the bed with a sigh.

**

If you’d ask Takeshi if he liked his birthday, he’d tell you that it’s pretty complicated. When you’re rich and famous there are certain expectations.

Your birthday isn’t about you. It’s about everybody else having fun while you run around ensuring they do.

At the end of the day they talk shit about the undercooked-meat-that-wasn’t-undercooked and the too-dark-floor-what-the-fuck-? anyway.

In all fairness the moment he sat home and gulped down a bottle of champagne at the end of the day was the happiest. Considering that this year he will also add Isao between his thighs he really did not need anything else.

Besides, after twenties there’s nothing to celebrate but new wrinkles. Not exactly fun.

Since he took Isao’s training program that was meant to help him get healthy seriously, he went for a run before he was meant to come back home and get ready for the party. Everything seemed to be ready, but he was far from done.

He ran upstairs quickly towards his bedroom, nearly getting a heart-attack when he bumped right into Akira, and then noticed rest of his boys.

Including Nalin and James.

“What the fuck?” He was breathing quickly as he wiped the sweat off his forehead.

“We thought you deserve a drink before the second round will begin.” Nobu smiled as Iwao opened the champagne. They poured it inside the glasses just as Isao burst inside the room too and cheekily hugged Takeshi with one arm.

Takeshi pointed a finger at James.

“Told you I won’t miss your party.” He came over and stole him from Isao’s grasp, quickly placing a kiss on his temple.

“Ew, I’m sweaty.” Just because Isao was used to him like this didn’t meant everybody had to. Gross.

“You taste better sweaty,” James murmured in his ear, making him giggle and even harder seeing Nalin’s terrified face.

“Wait, so you’re seriously a cannibal?” he asked shocked. He heard the rumours, but Jesus fucking Christ…

“Of course.” James jokingly licked the side of Takeshi’s face making him slap him lightly on the cheek in return.

He knew he was fucking around, but Isao could break James’ nose so he had to make it work for both of them.

“How come you can be here?” Takeshi was worried. He did not want James to fuck everything up and put himself in jail again.

“There was this beautiful lady responsible…”

“Okay, never mind, I know where this is going.” Takeshi put his hand up. “So you can be here, legally?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Alright.” Takeshi took the glass of champagne from Nobu and they stood close together.

“Happy Birthday, sweetheart. Hope it’s going to be a fun one.”

The glasses clinked together and Takeshi beamed. “Thank you, guys, I hope you will enjoy it. But, now…” He looked at himself. “I’ve got to shower.”

“Don’t close the door.” James snorted at his own joke and took a step back when Isao eyed him without a smile. “Chill, man, I’m only winding you up.”

Takeshi breathed out in relief. Maybe hearing it from James’ mouth Isao will…

“Well, but it does get confusing when he has a dress on, and now the long hair… Ow… Owowow…” James did not finish before Takeshi caught his jaw in a painful grip and pushed him on the bed.

“Stay here and don’t talk.” Takeshi patted him on the cheek and on his way to the bathroom quickly winked to Nalin who was keeping a slight distance from all of them.

In all honesty he had nothing to worry about when James was in the room. They will kill him first if he will open his mouth again.

**

“I still have a few things to sort out, keep him safe until then, okay?” Isao caught Nobu’s shoulder in a grasp and talked quietly after they finished their champagnes.

“Sure, good luck, man.” They fistbumped with a grin.

“Ohh, what should I know about?” James sat up interested.

“Your big mouth should know about nothing.” Nobu cut him short.

James made a face, but decided to ignore them and focus on Nalin who sat on the armchair. “So you’re Florist.”

“So you’re cannibal.”

“So we’re both fucking cool.” James grinned.

“So you’re both a proof that Takeshi gathers weird people.” Iwao sat by James on the bed comfortably.

“So…”

“Oh, God, shut up.” Takeshi walked out of the steamy bathroom drying his hair with a towel, a big shirt surely belonging to Isao and underwear on.

“You look like a chick. It’s confusing to my dick.” James said honestly and laughed when Takeshi swatted him hard with the towel.

Nalin starred with interest. It was nice to look at Takeshi not from a medical point of view.

He was proud of himself. A few months ago Takeshi wanted to sink in the ground, he wanted to die he was so hurt and wounded. Today he was standing in front of them confident with his body again, not a scratch on him.

He looked gorgeous.

“So, what you’re wearing?” James asked.

Takeshi hummed and made his way to his massive closet. He opened the door, walked inside the room and James ran after him. Inside were shelves and wardrobes, mirrors and sofas. He sat comfortably on one, watching Takeshi throwing out clothes on top of the island where all the jewellery and scarves were, hidden behind a glass. James lifted his thumb up when Nalin peaked in.

“Come in, bro. He will be here for hours.”

“Well at least you two like each other,” Takeshi murmured to himself. He had to wear something the designers sent him...

“I love all of your friends, especially your boyfriend or whatever he is at the moment.” James rolled his eyes as Nalin looked curiously at the jewellery.

“We hear you talking shit!” They heard from the other room.

Takeshi chuckled and took off the shirt, throwing it in James’ face to reach for the clothes he decided to wear. He learned to ignore James’ stare. Dude seriously should have a sexuality check.

“That’s hot.” James winked as he pulled the tight from a thin leather pants on.

“Stop looking at my ass, James.” His voice was a little mumbled as he put the shiny longer shirt over his head and a black blazer over it.

“You’ve got a nice ass, I’m just appreciating it.”

“I’m starting to see why Isao isn’t a fan of you.” Nalin reached for one necklace and dangled it in front of Takeshi. “This one?”

“I like it.” After laughing at the comment Takeshi took it from Nalin and put on as well as the rings and bracelets they chose together.

“I’m never going to like that guy.” James said when Takeshi sat in front of the mirror and started with the eyeliner.

“I’m not forcing you to love each other, but please at least be decent.”

“Don’t worry, boo, we won’t ruin your night.”

Akira jumped inside the room, curiosity winning.

“I will make them deal with paparazzi shit if they will.” Nobu peaked in and smiled seeing Takeshi brushing his hair up. “Ready?”

“Yes, boss!”

**

They were meant to go together to the club, but when Takeshi got a text message from his son he took a different turn than them on the road.

Rin got a little down and refused to go to the party. Takeshi had no idea what it was about and why he was the one called to help, but if Sousuke asked then he couldn’t have ignored it.

“It’s something about clothes, he doesn’t fit or whatever.” Sousuke rolled his eyes, already dressed up when he arrived at their apartment.

Ah, so that’s why.

He looked at his son and the atrocious way his tie was done. “Freaking hell, haven’t I taught you how to do it?” Takeshi untied and tied it nicely. It was good that Isao sucked at this job, too, so he had enough practice to do it quickly now. “You look nice.” He patted Sousuke on the cheek. His son was damn handsome and the simplest black suit and white shirt was everything he needed to look stunning.

Takeshi quickly changed his hair though. Sleeked back made him look ten years older, so he ruffled them.

“Seriously, dad?”

“You want to look like my father?”

“Alright…” Sousuke lifted his hands up in defence. It wasn’t his fault that he looked his age and his father forgot to look his.

“So where’s the kid?” Takeshi sighed and went to the bedroom where Rin hid.

**

“Alright, so what’s going on?” Takeshi quickly kneeled by Rin, sitting in front of his and Sousuke’s bed in their bedroom, arms around his knees and face hidden.

Rin winced hearing his voice. He was going to kill Sousuke. Seriously, he sent his father on him?!

“Come on, I’m here to help.” Takeshi crossed his legs on the floor, sitting comfortably.

“I bought an outfit in which I did not look the worst. It’d only been a week but I can’t fit in it now.” Rin mumbled in his arms.

He was growing quickly now and looking like crap in everything.

“What is it? A shirt? A dress?”

“Dressy shirt, like… I fit in the jeans.”

“Okay, I need a needle.”

Rin looked up quickly in surprise.

**

When Sousuke finally closed his mouth after starring at him dumbly, they took his car and drove to the club. They have lost Takeshi quickly since he speeded like his life depended on it.

“He’s going to die in a car accident, not killed by someone,” Rin murmured, not expecting to say it out loud.

“He’s been in a few car accidents already.” Sousuke luckily did not seem to mind the quite insensitive comment.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I don’t know if some were his fault or not. But one he had with me.”

“Really?” Rin asked surprised.

“Aha.” Sousuke furrowed his eyebrows, trying to remember. “There was some shit going down. He was at home all the time, or the other guys were if he couldn’t be… He was never keeping such eye on me. And then I remember him fighting with one of them that he will drive me somewhere instead of letting them. So I guess someone was hunting him and automatically they were scared for me.” He took a deep breath in. “They thought it would be best to separate us, he was afraid and believed he can keep me the safest.”

“Not surprising, he’s the boss and your father.” Rin would keep his child close knowing they’re in danger. Even if the father is the one hunted, but knowing that they might use the child to get him…

Rin would not leave their child for one second.

“So we went. It was dark, there were nearly no cars on the road. Dad was so careful and quiet. I remember falling asleep and then this massive boom,” he cringed, “I woke up, he was unconscious so I started sobbing…” he snorted when Rin cooed. “The car was turned on its side, glass broken, things twisted. I shook him and he woke up, tried to get himself out but he was stuck. He made me call Nobu, they were meant to be there quickly.” Sousuke shook his head a little, hands on the wheel tightening. “I was little and did not understand what was going on, especially since it was dark so I did not see well. He calmed me down, told me to stay, of course asked hundred times if I’m okay and even held my hand which was something then, trust me. I thought he was fine. I did not see them getting him out of the car because they grabbed me and took somewhere first. I haven’t seen him for awhile after that, ensured he hated me for making him drive and getting hurt.”

“You fool, he was probably in the hospital.” Rin touched his cheek lightly.

“Yeah, I know now. I found out some time ago what actually happened. Some large car drove right into his side out of nowhere. Broke his legs, ribs, arm. He had an internal bleeding and was close to death by the time he arrived in the hospital. I have no idea whether I was in too much shock to see how bad he was then or he played being well that good.”

Well, that had to hurt like hell, Rin thought. He’d be on the floor weeping and no one would blame him. But parents do amazing things for their children and since Sousuke was one it probably wasn’t that difficult to fool him either.

Sometimes it’s all about pretending.

“He was badly hurt a lot of times, huh?” Rin sighed. If this was what equalled being a boss then he hoped Takeshi will stay one long enough that Sousuke won’t need to take his place.

But it was their child that would be next in line...

Rin swallowed hard.

“Most of the times I did not see, it’s only lately I’m not pushed away from everything. When I was younger I knew he was hurt when other guys were taking care of me and they looked so upset yet tried to cheer me up even though theoretically I did not know there was something wrong. I always wondered why they love him so much if he doesn’t love them back.”

“He was probably different alone with them.”

“I’m not sure. But he was different at the beginning and they never forgot that.”

“Do you remember him getting sick?” Rin was curious whether Takeshi was sick for a long time now or it was something new.

“Now when I think about it. I always thought he just got a bad flu and that’s why he lost weight but obviously you don’t lose that much from a bug. It was one of the ‘daddy has to leave for some time’ moments. Worse was when it was Isao who came to tell me that dad wouldn’t be home for a while. I guess those were the times when they did not manage to stop him and he probably got as sick as a few weeks ago.” Sousuke often wondered what else he still did not know about, and the many things he probably never will.

“Is he diagnosed?”

Sousuke looked at him surprised. “Probably.”

Rin wanted to dig deeper but they arrived at the club and his jaw dropped.

Now he understood why it was shut for a month before the party.

The area was closed to the public, bodyguard standing around. The lights were highlighting an actual red carpet taking to the entrance. A huge amount of cars was parked on the side.

The music was so loud that they felt it as a beat under their feet. People were beautifully dressed and making their way inside while chatting and laughing.

And the club was extended. On both sides.

“How did they do it so quickly?”

“My father obviously has too much money.” Sousuke smiled after they parked. “Ready to go? And, anyway… I’ve got to say my father has a hand for… those stuff.” He waved his hands in the air, drawing Rin’s silhouette with them.

“He’s not a stranger to fashion and make up, let me tell you.” Rin was still amazed how easily he made his shirt a little bigger and lighted his face up with a few quick moves of a brush.

“Who would have thought that a few months ago, huh?” Sousuke chuckled. “Shall we go?”

**

When Rin thought about going to this party he did not have the happiest thoughts. Being close to giving birth made everyday living difficult. He knew he wouldn’t dance, couldn’t drink, and there were none of his friends invited.

Eh, well, he didn’t really have his friends anymore and he wasn’t sure if he could call Sousuke’s his.

But when he walked inside and they sat around a table, whole place rearranged to create more space, bigger tables and huge amount of sits at the top and enlarged dance floor downstairs, he knew he could just stay sat and be happy.

Everything was so interesting. The people invited were from all over the world and he could tell not only by their looks, but also the clothes they wore, certain persons deciding to show their culture beautifully. But the best part was when he recognised famous people. Designers, singers, dancers, cooks… And Takeshi, welcoming them all, one by one, looking gorgeous and happy, kissing their cheeks…

Freaking hell, he knew everybody, they acted like best friends.

Rin knew none of the businessmen, but they were easy to spot in their expensive as hell suits and fake ass smiles. Well, not all of them, but damn if obviously some would stab Takeshi in the back the second he would turn around.

He didn’t kiss with those.

The rest of the gang kept mostly to the tables they took on the side, all the women were wearing gorgeous dresses, maybe not as pretty as Kisumi’s but nevertheless. Rin was surprised when Takeshi smiled brightly seeing him and Kisumi hugged him tightly.

Takeshi did not even sit, constantly checking on guests, the kitchen, the bar, making sure everything ran smoothly. It was a bit off seeing the birthday boy running around while everybody else had fun.

When Isao finally caught Takeshi around his waist, he clearly surprised him with the public show of emotions.

“I want you to wear this.” Isao quickly put a ring on his finger. “You remember how it works?”

“And I thought it was an actual engagement,” Takeshi sighed theatrically in disappointment.

Isao smiled quickly. “Takeshi.”

“Yep, hold it for a few seconds, button is on the back,” he recited out. “I guess we share the feeling, huh?” he smiled a little sadly, a little sarcastically, fingers tracing the ring.

So they thought that someone would try to attack Takeshi tonight? Rin winced.

“No feelings, I just want you to be safe,” Isao kissed him on the cheek discreetly, hand still holding Takeshi’s as him thumb stroked the knuckles. “There’s lots of people, I need you to cooperate and better yet, help.”

“Yes, boss,” Takeshi murmured, moving the ring a little to place it more comfortably on his finger.

“You look stunning, by the way.” Isao grinned when they both turned to the side to look at the guests coming in. The hand he kept on Takeshi’s waist surely slipped lower than it had to.

Rin bit his lip and turned his head away, trying not to laugh.

**

“His moves haven’t changed at all.” Deeper in the night Takeshi could finally breath a little and frustrated James took him to the dance floor, arguing it’s idiotic that out of everybody he was the only who didn’t have fun. Nalin watched them with amusement.

Isao chuckled a little. Everybody was drunk, no one danced appropriately anymore. During a funny song Takeshi and James introduced some sort of a weird mix of Michael Jackson’s smooth criminal and Dirty Dancing, looking ridiculous but laughing as much as them.

But, hey, Takeshi’s moonwalk was pretty damn good.

At least Takeshi was having fun again and Rin assumed none of his friends cared about anything else at the moment.

For the first time Rin also saw Isao’s friends and his trainer. All boxers were surely worth putting an eye on, well, until Sousuke noticed and his mouth formed into a jealous pout.

When Takeshi came back to them, a little out of breath and cheeks coloured in pink, Isao introduced them a little too proudly for someone who theoretically was only a bodyguard. Rin once again wasn’t sure how much others knew because the trainer, older man with grey hair and a body in amazing shape patted Isao on the arm with a wink when Takeshi walked away.

“Hot stuff, man.” The other guy seemingly younger than Isao cocked his eyebrow in amusement. “Nice catch.”

“Guys, please.” Isao slightly embarrassed squeezed the soft place between his eyes with his fingertips.

**

Takeshi breathed in fresh air once he walked out of the club and sat in the back on the stairs. He was happy with how well the party was going, but he needed a break.

Maybe he was getting old. Ha.

“Hey, beautiful.”

He smiled when he heard Isao’s voice and felt his arm sliding around his shoulders and mouth placing a kiss on his temple, slowly moving down to his cheek, then behind his ear and throat. Takeshi sighed quietly.

“Too bad you don’t have a little dress on,” Isao murmured, hand slowly slipping from his thigh to the between of his legs.

“You horny bastard.” Takeshi chuckled. “You’re so hot that you’re suddenly into dresses?”

“I just appreciate an easy access.”

Takeshi slapped him lightly on the cheek. “Get a grip. I’ve got a party to run.”

Isao growled into his ear.

Takeshi smiled to himself, feeling good for once being happy, everybody was having fun including his family, and Isao was thinking with his dick instead of stressing about him. Nothing else he needed to ask for. 

“I love you.” Isao hugged him close and kissed the top of his head. “When I watched you today, standing at the top of the stairs, looking so striking and welcoming everybody… People either look jealous or in awe at you. Everybody is so envious of you, love.”

“You like when they pat you on the back for getting me, huh?” Takeshi grinned.

“Are you uncomfortable with it?”

“No.” Takeshi shook his head. “It’s funny.”

“To some people you’re a millions worth businessman, to some you’re the biggest mafia’s boss, plus you’re absolutely beautiful and charming. You’re what people want to be. I know you’re also an amazing person who cares so much about his family, you prioritise them over yourself, and you’d do everything for them. And…” he furrowed his eyebrows. “It is really arousing how you can switch from a sweet innocent boy to a little vicious snake. Anyway. My point is that to know I can call you mine…”

“Vicious snake, huh.” Takeshi smirked repeating and slowly moved his leg over Isao’s lap to sit across his hips, hands around his neck. “I thought you weren’t meant to like me as the evil bitch?” he whispered against his lips as Isao caught his hips in a grip.

“I never minded the evil in you,” Isao corrected him. “I minded when you forgot yourself.”

Takeshi played with his hair that he cut short, seemingly deep in thought, but he smiled when Isao kissed his jaw and hugged him, letting himself be held.

He could just stay in his arms forever.

Damn, maybe he really was getting old.

“Aw, come on, guys, no time for fucking now.” Akira jumped outside and made a pretended disgusted noise. “You really want Nobu to see those pictures?!”

Takeshi laughed quietly, hearing Isao sneer in his neck. “Give us a second.”

“I don’t want to know.” Akira shuddered and quickly left.

Isao grasped Takeshi’s jaw and kissed him deep enough to send shivers down his spine. “That’s so you remember about me during the rest of the party.”

Takeshi stood up, extending his hand for Isao to take and follow him. “Sucks when you can’t be public, huh?”

“Hey…” Isao caught his hand and pulled him a step down so he ended up in his arms again. “I would love to show every single person there that you’re mine. Even if most of them think that already. You have no idea how frustrating it is when I see their thirsty eyes on you and hands trying to touch you. But I am not going to let this get the better out of me when I risk my father attacking you.”

Takeshi tried to smile but it did not work out at the end. He stroked Isao’s cheek lightly. “Let’s go.”

Isao sighed.

**

Takeshi smiled seeing James and Nalin talking on the sofa, clearly comfortable as their body language proved. He was never worried for James who found friends wherever he went, but he did not want Nalin to spend the whole night uncomfortable sitting while only thinking about how much time there’s left.

It was great that they found topics to share.

“Look at you, not running after the girls.” Takeshi hugged James’ shoulders from behind and winked to Nalin, who beamed a little drunk.

“I’d be easier if majority of them didn’t come with their men.”

“Or did you finally realise you’re a little gay?” Takeshi laughed seeing Nalin’s slightly terrified face. “Hey, if not Isao, I would…” he winked suggestively to James and left them quickly.

He liked being a dickhead sometimes. But James knew how to get out of any embarrassing situation.

Besides, he had Isao to deal with. Man looked way too comfortable with a girl and guy flirting with him equally hard.

Seriously, he knew his muscles were worth gold, but they were his gold.

Takeshi walked over and put his hand on Isao’s shoulder, knowing he will automatically put his hand on his hip in return. And it happened now as expected, making Takeshi smile and Isao bit his lip in frustration.

Completely enough for the two to get an idea and leave quickly.

Isao snorted and turned to face him. “Really?”

Takeshi smiled and smoothed the tie against his chest when he faced him. “I don’t like leeches.”

“So you’d do Nalin if not me, huh?”

He looked up quickly and laughed. “Please, I was joking.” Takeshi patted him on his chest. “I will check on the rest of the guys.” Turning to leave he saw Isao making a clear move to swat him on the ass. “A-ha! Don’t forget you’re hiding, pretty boy.” Takeshi opened his mouth in shock when he received a slap on the butt anyway, Isao grinning very proud of himself.

“I will let that go in the press.” Takeshi pointed his finger accusingly.

“Good.”

Takeshi starred at him, eyebrows furrowed a little, until Isao pulled him closer. “Do you want to risk it?”

It took Takeshi a second, but he finally breathed out, becoming more serious. “He nearly killed me when we were hiding.” A shrug. “I know he will come for me. Why can’t I at least be happy until then? Unless it’s not what you want.”

Isao opened his mouth, but Kin quickly walked up to them suddenly. “Guys, it’s nearly midnight. Come outside, it’s fireworks time!”

Takeshi smiled at Isao, letting him know they can continue the conversation later. Everybody including them walked out to the back where there was an open space.

It was cold and Takeshi appreciated Isao’s warm arm around his shoulders, James and Nalin close to his other side and rest of the boys behind. Fireworks were prepared right in front of them, people employed for the job busy making sure everything was fine.

When Takeshi and the boys were young they always had the party a night before the birthday so they could set the fireworks at midnight.

Ten seconds till midnight they started counting and right on time the fireworks exploded in the air, creating colourful mosaics in the sky in the rhythm of his favourite songs, and people shouted “Happy Birthday” at once.

It was never the birthday boy responsible for the show, always the friends, and Takeshi could feel the warmth spreading inside his heart. He grinned when Isao handed him a glass of champagne. “Thank you.”

“Happy Birthday, love.”

Takeshi did not expect him to bend and kiss him sweetly on the lips, but Isao did, with their backs mostly turned to others yet theirs mouths leaving nothing to imagination.

Maybe it was the surprise, maybe the adrenaline making his knees weak, but Takeshi closed his eyes and let himself be pulled closer, Isao’s arm never leaving his shoulders, ears deaf to the whistles and some claps.

When the kiss ended Takeshi breathed hard, shocked still only looking at Isao who smiled wide. “You’re right. He doesn’t care. And I won’t let him touch you either way. I am sorry.”

Takeshi chuckled and hugged Isao with his free arm, Isao’s tight around his shoulders as he kissed his temple. He tried not to laugh when he heard “finally, man” from Iwao and Kin at once and Nobu slapping them on their heads, James throwing his arm around his middle, cuddling up and looking up in the sky with a childish grin, Nalin smiling at Takeshi and their pinkies linking for a moment, Akira jumping a little behind him, hands holding the back of his blazer.

Takeshi looked to the side and saw Sousuke, Rin and Kisumi watching the sky in awe, faces young and happy.

No one else mattered. People he loved were around him and they were happy.

Somewhere out there, maybe near, maybe far away, Isao’s father was waiting for the right moment. Takeshi did not know how much time he had left, so he wanted to make sure to live his life to the fullest while he could.

He was terrified of what the man could do to him. Of everything he promised him.

But with Isao, with his family so close, it was bearable.

They were finally free.

He closed his eyes with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos, messages and comments <333
> 
> Takeshi & Isao
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 


	54. Diamond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A war is coming.
> 
> Sometimes everything goes to hell during the most beautiful moments.

“I am flying!” James giggled to himself, dancing with Takeshi. They were both laughing unsure about what. The music was so loud, the colorful lights were everywhere, and Takeshi was hanging on James, letting him do all sorts of pirouettes.

Trying to calm down their breathing they finally walked upstairs to the rest of the boys, and Takeshi threw his bared arms around Isao who was sat with his back towards him. Isao was smiling as he kissed his cheek and he quickly pulled him into his lap as James jumped over the back of the sofa and slipped between them and Nalin.

“Congratulations, guys, we’re very surprised.” One of their friends walked up to them and shook hands with them quickly. They laughed at the pretended shock in his voice.

“You seriously thought there might be something going on?” Kin asked, hand on his heart.

“I’m not sure what was less telling, Isao’s possessiveness or Takeshi’s flirt!”

Takeshi covered his face in embarrassment when Isao kissed his shoulder, trying not to chuckle, letting his hand wander underneath his shirt and thumb stroke his hip as the other rested on his thigh. Takeshi smiled feeling his touch and kissed him on the lips when he lifted his head.

“Are you two going to be very gross from now on?” Iwao asked.

“Well, if we were to count all the times we had do act like we don’t know each other…” Isao raised his eyebrows. “We deserve it.”

**

Takeshi smiled through his sleep feeling soft lips in between his naked shoulder blades. It had to be morning, the sunshine brightening the room up, but he did not know how early it had to be.

Not too early with how long it took for the morning to become light in the winter though.

“Happy Birthday, doll,” Isao said quietly and kissed him behind his ear.

“Mornin’…” He chuckled when Isao put his cheek in the middle of his back, scruff scratching it lightly, arm sliding underneath his stomach to hold him like a pillow.

Someone had a hangover.

“I will make a breakfast for the birthday boy in a minute…” he mumbled.

“How about a café instead?”

“Fantastic idea.”

They both fell asleep.

**

“I think we really need to get up now,” Isao whispered.

Takeshi grinned and turned his head towards him, both of them lying on their stomachs. He just looked at Isao and his eyes seemed to sparkle a little, face with a slight scruff making him sexier than anybody. He was so gorgeous.

Isao hummed, urging him to say what was on his mind, hand reaching for his and grasping it.

“You kissed me yesterday. In front of everybody.” It was still so surreal.

“I know I did.” Isao smiled teasingly.

Takeshi made a little ‘pff’ noise and closed his eyes but the smile did not leave his face. Isao scooped closer and kissed his temple. “I love you.”

Takeshi just wanted to stay in his arms forever.

**

One of the tiny places in Tokyo served the best breakfasts, but they did not have time to visit it often. Mornings were often spent in a rush and the days they did not need to, they slept longer and ate something Isao created with his talented hands.

But today was time to celebrate.

Refreshed they sat on comfortable fluffy chairs opposite to each other, eating sandwiches and sweet cakes. Their phones were buzzing from congratulations and news because all of Japan decided to be invested in their relationship, some of them delighted because “they knew it!”, some of them burning from hatred because they wanted one of them for themselves and how dare they lied to them all this time, dissing any sort of rumours.

They ignored it all and sat in a place where they knew no one would bother them. Years of hiding taught them how to ensure their peace and it seemed they would need to use it after coming out too.

“God, how much have I drank yesterday?” Isao winced a little. He always held his alcohol well, so he had to had lots.

“I guess when you realised you actually came out and that with me you panicked and gulped down a bottle or two.” Takeshi had a small, soft smile on his face as he poured down tea in their cups.

“I did not panic.” Isao lifted his finger. “That was out of happiness.”

“Sure, sure.”

Isao caught his hands and kissed his knuckles. “I don’t regret it. It was the best decision I’ve made in a very long time.” Isao felt like the heaviest weight dropped off his heart as he kissed Takeshi at midnight.

“Was it?” Takeshi rested his chin on his hand when Isao let go, head cocked. He knew Isao did not regret it, but he enjoyed teasing him.

“Mhm…” Isao smiled, knowing what he was doing. “You know we have the dinner later, but we need to go somewhere else before that.” Today they celebrated Takeshi’s birthday within family after the party with everybody yesterday.

“Where?”

“It’s a surprise.”

**

On their way somewhere away from the city, Takeshi could not stop tapping his foot against the floor of the car, arms crossed over his chest. Isao ordered him to get into the large Range Rover belonging to him and told him absolutely nothing.

“Are we near?”

Isao would cross his eyes if not the fact that he was behind the wheel. That was maybe the tenth time he was asked within the same amount of minutes.

“Not yet.”

“Couldn’t you afford a surprise in Tokyo?”

Isao slapped his thigh, making him laugh. “The whole point was for it to be away from the city!”

Takeshi furrowed his eyebrows and spent the rest of the trip starring in front of himself, thinking in silence.

He watched curiously when they started driving in a village and understood why Isao insisted on the large car as the mud made squishy noise under the wheels. He still did not understand where they were going, because once they moved past the little houses, it seemed there was nothing but green landscape and mountains in front of them.

They drove behind one of them and stopped, beautiful huge open space in front of them surrounded by green hills, blue clear sky over their heads, and the calm sea not that far away. It reminded Takeshi so much of England where Isao’s mother lived that he could not help but smile, hugging himself when the wind blew in his cheeks.

It was so quiet here.

“I love this place.” Takeshi closed his eyes when Isao hugged him from behind, shielding him from the cold. Huge space felt private.

“Would you like to live here?” Isao asked quietly.

“Live?”

Smile. “I bought this place for us. We can start building as soon as you wish.” Isao’s breath was warm on his neck.

Takeshi opened his mouth, but he did not know what to say when he turned to face him in shock. He bought it? For them?!

“I know it’s not ideal for everyday living because it’s far away from the city, but I wanted a peaceful place for us where we could go at any time, and you always loved mom’s place so much…” Isao seemed a little nervous as he explained, taking his hands in his. “I was thinking for so long what to get you for your birthday, you know it’s not easy to buy anything for someone who can have everything.” He chuckled. “I found this place when we were separated, and a few weeks ago I started asking about it and the owner sold it to me.” He took a deep breath in. “Also… I am always living at your house, you never said anything but it made me feel a little bad. I wanted something that would be truly ours. Not yours, not mine, but ours. Something we could create together from the beginning. A true home.”

Takeshi was speechless, trying to blink his tears back.

They had many houses, but… But an actual home?

Did Isao really think this seriously about them?

Yes they lived together, but this was such a big deal. This was so important.

And anybody would say that if they were hoping for a child then there was nothing that said they were serious about each other more, but considering the fact that there was such a small chance for him to get pregnant he never really believed that it said anything.

And maybe because there was such a small chance he never thought that Isao would think too seriously about him. But everything that was happening since midnight…

Was this real?

“Don’t cry.” Isao smiled kindly as he wiped the tears off his small face.

“I just don’t know what to say… I did not think… I mean…” He shook his head, trying to calm himself down.

“That’s not all.” Isao grinned.

“Oh, God.” He was going to end up with a heart attack.

And he could feel his heart stopping to beat when Isao slowly went on one knee in front of him, reaching for a small box hidden in his jacket, and he opened it, showing him a beautiful ring and smiled so brightly the diamonds could not compete.

“Takeshi.”

“Oh, my God.”

Isao chuckled. “I’ve been thinking for the whole journey what I’m going to say to you, I had this amazing speech ready, and of course now my mind is just blank.” His hand was shaking a little. “I love you. So much. And I want us to be together forever. Properly, no lies, no hiding, just pure happiness. I promise to you that I will love you, ensure your happiness and safety… Will you marry me, love?”

Takeshi started nodding before he even finished, feeling the tears on his cheeks, not sure whether he was sobbing or smiling, everything was so surreal he believed he was going to wake up in a minute.

When Isao put the ring on his finger and stood up, taking the hand he was covering his mouth with to pull him into his arms and kiss, he finally believed this was real. He wasn’t dreaming.

Takeshi put his cold hands on Isao’s cheeks, feeling his strong arms around his middle, kissing like their lives depended on it.

Everything was right in the world.

**

“Where’s Rin?” Takeshi asked Sousuke when they arrived at the restaurant and he spotted his son without his boyfriend standing in front of it.

On his birthday he always had a dinner with his family. Many years ago the mothers and fathers of the group were attending, and it was such a sweet time because maybe the only few moments where his father treated him like a human being. Not always, but he tried.

And maybe in a way it was better now, because the fakeness was gone, and people who attended actually wanted to be here.

Which meant his boys, happily including James too, and their fathers. He actually offered Nalin to come, but he refused and this time Takeshi did not nag him.

Even he would not manage for it to not be awkward.

Nobu’s, Iwao’s and Kin’s dads were kind men who he could always count on in the worst moments. Of course he tried to ask them for help as little as possible, but whenever the issue concerned things that happened when he was still a little shit, it was good to hear the story from their mouths.

Once upon a time, Isao’s father was invited too.

“He doesn’t feel well and he’s very sorry,” Sousuke explained, both of them standing waiting for the rest of the guys as Isao drove away to park the car.

“You haven’t left him alone, have you?”

“No! His mom is with him.” Sousuke bumped into his arm jokingly upset he could think so. “So, did you say ‘yes’?”

Takeshi blinked. “Huh?”

Sousuke paled. “Oh, shit.” He looked around searching desperately for Isao, however unsure how could that actually help. If Isao did not ask his father to marry him where he was meant to, then he totally busted a freaking engagement surprise.

FUCK.

“You knew?” Takeshi cocked his eyebrow.

Or maybe not.

Sousuke kept his mouth shut, not knowing whether it was provocation from his father to find out what he was talking about or he really knew and was just surprised that Sousuke did too.

“Oh, you wise boy. Clearly my blood.” Takeshi realised quickly what he was thinking and lifted his hand, the ring shining the brightest on his finger.

Sousuke breathed out in relief. “Isao asked me for permission yesterday.”

“Permission?”

“You know the way you ask parents normally, but since you’re both old then he asked your son instead.” Sousuke grinned.

“Hey, you little shit, watch your mouth.” Takeshi slapped him upside the back of his head.

“So, you said ‘yes’.” Sousuke hugged him with one arm. “I’m happy for you.” He truly was. It was such a shock when Isao asked him yesterday if he would accept him proposing to his father. A marriage! Holy shit, they were seriously getting married. Who was going to take whose surname? Wait, would Isao become his father instead of godfather? He was as excited as if he was getting married. After everything that happened to Takeshi, he just wanted him to feel happiness. He really deserved open unconditional love after hiding for so long, after everything that happened, especially lately.

And Sousuke knew that Takeshi wanted Isao as nothing else in his life.

Takeshi cooed. “Thank you, my sweet tiny child.”

Actually Sousuke already managed to grow bigger muscles than he could remember Takeshi ever having, so he looked down on him as Takeshi pretended not to see.

“I should get an award for parking the beast in those tiny places.” Isao showed up suddenly behind them and stole Takeshi from Sousuke’s arms.

Takeshi laughed, but at the same time others started coming, James of course waiting to swoop him up in a hug and dance right after Takeshi welcomed the boys and their fathers, as well as Akira.

**

They sat around a round table with white cloth thrown over it, cutlery, wine and water glasses ready. It was a huge, beautiful restaurant, very elegant, with waiters dressed in suits and best chefs ensuring they were served most delicious food.

“Time to update the old men.” Kin’s father smiled brightly. “Come on.”

“There’s nothing to really update you on, it’s been quiet lately.” Takeshi said sincerely. “It’s a little disturbing, in a way.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts.” Iwao’s father laughed.

“What about you two?” Nobu’s father asked Takeshi and Isao. “The media is buzzing.”

Takeshi was always a little careful around the man, he was a conservative and while he never, ever attacked anybody for being ‘different’, Takeshi simply did not want to shove too much of himself in his face. If they could respect each other by not saying everything they were thinking, it was great.

“Birds are finally out of the cage, what else.” Nobu winked to Takeshi. He knew he was always nervous around his father, so he often jumped in.

Now, Nobu, being such a close friend, had to quickly change his views he took from home.

“Just be careful, I know you must be thirsty for freedom but the media prefers to publish bad things and they will be looking for it.”

Takeshi smiled thankfully. “Don’t worry, we’re keeping them on distance.”

“They will be like hungry leeches at the beginning, but they will fuck off soon enough.” Kin shrugged.

“Kin!”

“Oh, come on, dad.”

“Where’s Kisumi?” Takeshi asked Isao, sitting by him and sipping wine, as bothered with everybody as usual, meaning not as much. He was jealous of his calmness.

“Late. As usual.” Isao shook his head, comfortable with his arm throw over the back of Takeshi’s chair.

“So you have an even bigger job now.” Iwao’s father spoken up to him. “Shielding Takeshi from paparazzi.”

Isao laughed. “He loves the flash.”

“Hey!”

**

“Congratulations.” James patted Takeshi on the back as they stood outside the restaurant. He needed to smoke and Takeshi and Akira decided to keep him some company.

“Huh?”

“I’d think it’s just a new ring, but considering Isao was planning something special yesterday and today it’s placed on the specific finger…” he breathed out smoke.

Akira grinned. “Couldn’t content my freaking excitement when I saw it, but wasn’t sure you’d want everybody to know.”

Takeshi sighed. “You knew as well?”

“When we were at Isao’s mom’s I found the box while looking for my phone.”

Takeshi hummed, interested. “That’s some time ago. Why he took it all the way there if he wasn’t planning to ask me? Or,” he winced, “well I don’t blame him if he changed his mind then.”

“I think he got it from his mom. And I would not have asked you then either, you’d probably say no.” Akira poked him in his arm.

Oh wow, he did not expect that. This ring belonged to Isao’s mother?

“So when’s the wedding?”

Takeshi laughed. “Come on, how long did it take us to get to his point?”

“But you’re happy, right?” Akira hugged him with one arm.

“Yeah.” Takeshi beamed, eyes on the ring as he touched it. “I am.”

James smiled and blew out grey smoke.

**

“How is Takeshi dealing with everything?” Nobu’s father asked when he left with the rest of the boys.

“He’s a lot better now.” Isao answered. “But I need to get rid of my father or he won’t heal completely.”

They seemed a little shocked with the way he spoke about murdering his own father, but it quickly went away. If someone had hurt their loved one so much, they would do the same. Plus, he was Takeshi’s bodyguard. It did not matter who attacked, whether it was family or just a friend, his job was to kill.

End of.

And no one else but his father taught him those morals.

“We wish we could help at least in understanding your father, but the truth is that we didn’t know Takeshi’s or your father that well. We did business and we have met here, but…” Iwao’s dad shook his head. “I am not sure there’s an explanation for what he did anyway.”

“I don’t think there is.”

“All I can say is, don’t underestimate. Especially the evil.” Nobu’s father spoke up. “We like categorising such people as insane and easy to defeat, and it’s not right. He already showed what he’s capable of, and now with you two out, you threw him a bone…”

“I know you think I have threatened Takeshi’s life, but the truth is he already attacked when we were hidden. He will again. Takeshi needs my support, I can’t add pushing him away to the stress. He’s much better since he trusted he can count on me.”

“I think you’re right.” Kin’s father nodded. “You just have to be very careful. Takeshi’s father was the genius behind everything, but your father did not leave his side for a second. And remember that Takeshi’s dark side comes from no one else but his father and you know what he’s capable of when he loses it.”

Before Isao even thought about saying something back, before this sentence finished, there were repeated shots on the side.

They all stood up so quickly that the chairs fell backwards on the floor, and they rushed even faster towards the outside where the noise came from. Isao could feel his heart hurting in his chest, blood frozen as the worst thoughts crossed his mind.

But the weight dropped off his shoulders when he saw Takeshi standing up from the ground, James and Akira still covering him with their arms. They all seemed fine, just looking around disoriented.

“Who the hell shot?!” Nobu asked quickly as Isao grabbed Takeshi from their grasp just to check on him himself.

“I’m fine,” he calmed him down, seeing Sousuke’s frightened face too. It happened so quickly just now he was registering what happened.

The three of them were talking when a van drove past. It was automatic to eye such cars because they often meant trouble. And they were not wrong because its doors opened and two masked, completely in black people showed in the space with guns in their hands and started shooting.

Luckily they were faster and went on the floor before they could get hurt.

But the glass shattered, covering them, and whole situation made everybody at the restaurant panic.

“I think the cars were all signed with stars,” Akira who noticed them first spoken up.

They exchanged shocked looks. “That’s impossible.”

“Your father got rid of those bastards…” James put his jacket back on after he shook the broken glass off it and himself.

“Were you threatened by any gangs lately?” Iwao’s father asked Takeshi.

He shook his head, eyebrows furrowed. The only person who was threatening him lately was Isao’s father. The gangs were under control, especially since he stopped fighting with Nalin who was his biggest enemy for a very long time.

But just because his father bombed out the boss and the main guys of the star gang did not mean the rest of them couldn’t have worked all those years on revenge.

If they had, they were in deep shit. Really deep shit.

It took him a second to realise his phone was vibrating in his pocket. He took it out quickly, Isao watching him closely as others discussed if it really could have been the gang, and he looked at the screen.

[Florist’s home is on fire.]

Oh, God, no.

It had to be them.

**

“So how was the party? The media is only talking about Yamazaki.” Rin’s mom joked a little as they sat in the quite small but very comfortable and homely living room.

Rin wrapped himself in a fluffy white blanket and took the hot tea in his hands.

“Yeah, everything is about what they managed to find out, his clothes, friends, and of course coming out with Isao.” He rolled his eyes a little.

“I wasn’t exactly surprised.”

“Yeah, no one was. Apart from those who believed them so now they’re hating.”

“People always hate.”

“Yeah…” Rin looked down at his tea.

She smiled. “What’s wrong with you, baby?” He was clearly upset and maybe frustrated.

“I’m a little jealous, that’s all.” Rin shrugged. How couldn’t he be?! Takeshi was living a life every teenager was dreaming of. Like him.

“Of the man? How come?” she asked surprised. She never saw her son as someone who would want anything to do with anything but swimming. Mafia, business, no way.

“Isao, his boyfriend, he kissed him on midnight of his birthday, letting them finally become public which Takeshi really wanted.” Rin took a deep breath in. “He looks at him like he’s the most precious diamond. Takeshi invited all the famous people, he was dressed by some cool designers that were later oh-ah-ing at him, and his friends love him so much that they would jump off a bridge for him… You know, apparently he gets so many presents each year that people send them to one of the huge houses and he employs someone to take care of the deliveries. And Sousuke told me in secret that today Isao was meant to take Takeshi somewhere outside the city to show him the ground he bought for them, where they will build their house. And he was going to propose, too…”

His mom did not say anything, just moved to sit by him, quickly slipping under the blanket and hugging him with one arm.

“And see how long they have waited for this moment? How many bad, stressful situations they went through to finally reach this day? You’re so much younger than them, your princess moment will come to you too.” She kissed his temple. “And you should be happy that you don’t need to wait years for coming out, starting a family, and suffocating in fake relationships, even marriages…”

“I understand. But you know, when they’re together you can feel their chemistry, they’re so crazy about each other, and then I look at me and Sousuke and…”

“Ohh.” She laughed, realising what he had on his mind since the beginning. “When I was pregnant with you all I wanted was to lie in bed in my pyjamas. Your father knew to keep his distance. You’re tired and thinking about giving birth, not dressing up and flirting with Sousuke, he’s a wise boy and probably decided to give you your space, too. You can’t compare yourself to people who are just living the best moments of their life while you two are young boys soon to be parents, so in your most stressful days. I’m sure Sousuke will step up his game once fatherhood will hit him. He probably does not want to pressure you into anything at the moment.” Her son obviously wanted a ring, but he needed to focus on a few more important matters at the moment.

“Well… He was starring like mad at me yesterday when his father dressed me up.” Rin remembered. He just felt like Sousuke wasn’t looking at him like at the beginning.

“His father?”

“I bought something I could not fit in, he made it bigger and put some make up on me. Made me feel pretty.”

“See, maybe he isn’t so bad.” She brushed his hair behind his ear.

Rin sighed. “You know, I’ve actually managed to see him at his happiest and saddest, but I still… I just don’t know how to trust him. I think he’s a liar. Maybe he isn’t as inhuman as I thought, but there’s something wrong with him. And maybe the fact that he can switch so quickly from suicidal mood to the happiest scares me the most…”

He did not manage to finish because someone knocked on the door. His mother went over and opened it as he curiously peaked to the side.

“How can I help?”

“Oh, you surely can, madam.” There was a male voice he did not recognise. Rin was surprised when a man with short brown hair walked in, forcing his mother to take a step back. His eyes were covered with sunglasses and he wore a simple black suit.

There were two men behind him.

Rin knew they were here to bring trouble and he could feel the nervous empty reaction in his stomach. They were definitely not Takeshi’s people, so when his mother looked at him he quickly shook his head.

“We think you and your son could be of assistance to us.” The man did not seem bothered and sat on the armchair in the living room, one leg over another, fingers plaited together and rested on his knee.

“Assistance?” She cocked her eyebrow, staying up herself. “And who are you?” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“My deepest apologies, but my name for now is none of your concern. I am ensured that you two wish to remain safe and peaceful in the upcoming fight.” He smiled and it was ugly. “And I’m here to offer you peace and safety… but for a price.”

“What are you even talking about?” Rin hugged himself, protecting the baby. “Who the hell are you?”

He looked at him and bent forward to be a little closer. “I’m someone who is going to make your boy’s father regret that he ever walked this earth,” he said quietly. “You and your mother have the choice of joining his suffering, or helping me in bringing him down and in result coming out alive of the upcoming fight.”

It became silent.

“Get out.” Rin’s mother snapped, pale in the face as Rin silenced completely, not knowing what to say.

Did he just…? Did the man say he wants him to betray Sousuke, Takeshi, the whole gang? And if he was not going to, then he will hurt his mom and him?

And the baby?

Did he…

He could feel his heart racing, hurting in his chest.

“Oh, no, darling.” The man smiled, turning his head towards Rin’s mother. “This wasn’t part of the choice.”

“Get. Out. Or I will call the police!” She jerked scared when one of the men pointed a gun at her head and the other at Rin’s. “No, please, not Rin…” Not her baby…

“You two will keep quiet about joining our side.” The man said clearly. “You will keep on being a perfect little family. But everything significant that you will hear will come straight to me. Do a good job and maybe I will even spare your little boyfriend.” He stood up after one last look at Rin who was sat frozen in one place. “If you will lie to me, or if you will fail, trust me, you’re going to regret it.”

He left with his men without another word, leaving them in complete silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the subscribers, comments, messages and kudos <3333


	55. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the fight begin

Takeshi could feel himself getting sick when he saw the huge, beautiful mansion in flames. It was the most horrifying picture he could imagine right now and it was right in front of his eyes.

There were ambulances and fire trucks, their lights bright in the dark, firemen rushing around trying to take the fire out, but it looked like hell came to earth.

Once Isao stopped the car on the side making sure no road was blocked, Takeshi ran out of it towards the mansion and cars, looking for Nalin without looking back. He only received information that no one is dead, only the house is burning, but the ambulances and the noise of alarms made him worry.

Everything was happening so quickly.

A sigh of relief escaped his mouth when he noticed Nalin sitting on the edge of the back of the opened ambulance even though the man looked the most devastated he could imagine him. A blanket was thrown over his shoulders and he was sat starring at his home with tears in his eyes, hair a complete mess.

“Nalin,” he said softly and touched his shoulder, breathing slightly uneven, making him jerk surprised and look at him, trying to smile and failing miserably.

Takeshi had no idea what to do so he just enveloped him into a hug.

Seeing your house in flames had to be one of the most terrifying thing to witness. People always shrug about it because why it matters to them as they’re so rich they can just buy another, but it was the most insensitive thinking. The home was not just a place. It was everything precious they owned. The family pictures and videos. The small, even tiny objects given to them by people who weren’t here anymore. The memories. That stupid shirt your boyfriend gave you to wear after first intimate night. The bracelet you were given on your first anniversary. A blanket your child adored.

It wasn’t about money.

It hurt.

All those years ago when the gang was burning down everything that mattered to them, when Nalin lost his father, he realised how home wasn’t safe at all. And maybe that was one of the reasons why he kept his so empty, why the precious things he had were locked in safes.

It was so easy to lose everything you loved.

Takeshi was just glad that Nalin wasn’t inside when they attacked.

“I’ve lost everything.” Nalin chocked out in his shirt, body shaking. “All the ingredients, the flowers, the potions, drugs, everything, I…” His chest heaved as tears escaped his eyes, sobs shaking his body.

“No, you haven’t lost everything. You’re here and your kid is far away from this place. That’s most important.” Takeshi kissed his temple, hand caressing his back, hoping he was going to calm down. It could have been worse. Once again there was a reason to hold on, even if you just wanted to curl up and forget the world.

He could not imagine how Nalin had to feel. He lost his father in a fire. He saw him dying. It had to be so terrifying, witnessing the flames again…

Takeshi did not recognise how much time went by when suddenly the fireman walked up to them and said that most of the fire was taken out and as expected the situation did not look good, and Takeshi noticed Isao standing not far away from them quietly, not interrupting. He smiled weakly to him when Nalin stood up to talk with the policemen and firemen and Isao moved closer to sit by him for a moment.

“You want him to stay over at yours, right?”

Takeshi put his cheek on his shoulder. He was so tired after everything that happened today, with the sweetest moments like engagement and the present from Isao, then sudden attacks from everywhere, on his friends and him, them running to check on their families, him quickly shoving his son in the car and telling him to go for Rin and Kisumi to get them home safe, and himself rushing here with Isao to check on Nalin.

It was a horror.

“I’m sure he has another place to stay, but I don’t want to leave him alone.”

“I understand.”

“I love you.” Takeshi kissed his cheek and stood up to walk up to Nalin, starring at what was left of the mansion, now enveloped in black smoke covering all the walls. He wasn’t sure whether it looked more terrifying or upsetting.

“You know,” Nalin said quietly as if scared the ghost of it would hear him, “at least I’ve made sure to never leave explosive ingredients out there. If everything would explode…” He cringed.

Takeshi caught his elbow in a grasp. “I want you to stay over at ours.”

Nalin looked at him shocked. “What? No. No, no. I will go to a hotel.”

“I don’t want you to be alone.”

“Takeshi, I appreciate your concern, but I’m not a child. If you remember a few months ago I was your biggest enemy. I know how to handle my shit.” He did not usually swear but he did not like being underestimated just because he wasn’t throwing bombs at everybody.

Takeshi smiled. He always feared Nalin exactly for the reasons people liked to underestimate him for. The subtlety of his terrifying actions was way scarier than gangsters screaming in your face and shooting to everybody. 

“I was attacked maybe two hours ago. A van with a star, masked people shot to my people and me. Seconds later I found out about your home being on fire. Surely you can guess who is responsible?”

“That’s impossible.” Nalin paled.

“If they want a fight with everybody then they will have it, but we have to keep together because we’re strongest that way. Even my father realised then that he couldn’t work on his own.”

Nalin closed his eyes. He knew Takeshi was right and even though he just wanted to catch that piece of shit responsible for everything and kill him with his bare hands, he knew it was not going to be this easy.

They did not know how big the gang was. How many people were thirsty for their blood. How much money, weapons they had. What else they were doing. This surely wasn’t only about them.

They had to stand together otherwise everything will go to hell.

**

Takeshi made Sousuke stay the night with Rin and Kisumi at his apartment too, so the six of them sat together in the living room, tired not knowing what to do next. He was annoyed with James who decided to party while everybody else went rushing around to gather families and ensure their safety. Rest of the gang was fine in their homes, but James was meant to stay at his too.

Realising they would not figure out anything at this point anyway, he pushed the kids to their room and went with Nalin to show him the guest room. Takeshi was impressed with him holding on and acting like nothing major happened. He just looked sad.

The guest rooms he had were pretty basic, but he did not really have a reason to make them luxurious like rest of the house. If anything, often it was about quantity not quality so he preferred to leave them free to fill up.

Nalin seemed glad to just have a place where he could lie down and sleep for a few hours.

“You’ve got towels here.” Takeshi reached towards the wardrobe on the side and opened it to show a few at the top. “Shampoos and everything are in the bathroom.” He scratched his head. “If you’re thirsty or hungry then everything is in the kitchen. Oh, and we will get you some clothes tomorrow.”

“Takeshi.” Nalin smiled, sitting down on the bed covered with a soft duvet. “Thank you, but I’m fine, really. I did not lose money, I will buy everything I need tomorrow. Stop worrying.” He patted the place by himself.

Takeshi’s lips twisted in a slight pout as he sat by him. “If not you I would not be here today. Don’t be surprised I want to help. At least this way I can give back. Besides, that’s how I am to my friends.”

“Yesterday you gathered us altogether to thank us for being decent friends to you, please stop,” he chuckled.

Takeshi sighed. It wasn’t that he was surprised they helped him survive – he simply appreciated what they did for him so he wanted to officially thank them. Even when people love each other, sometimes they still do not care enough. But they all took his sickness seriously and helped him.

He wanted to die. He was writing his last will, for God’s sake. If not Nalin’s hard work, if not boys taking him all the way to England and keeping him so close he felt like suffocating then, he wouldn’t have been here to celebrate yesterday.

There would be no party, there would be a funeral.

There would be no engagement, no land and future home, no upcoming wedding, not maybe, just maybe, a child.

Takeshi jerked a little when he felt Nalin touching his hand and quickly focused on him.

“Congratulations.” Nalin smiled through tiredness.

“Thank you…” Takeshi touched the ring, diamonds sharp against his fingers and bright in the moonlight. Everybody knew.

Nalin caught his jaw in a grasp so he would look at him. “Told you it’s worth keeping alive, huh?”

“Who would have thought, right?”

Nalin hummed quietly. It was ironical that out of everybody they were talking about this.

End of the world. A quiet, cold night bright from the huge moon.

It was peaceful for a night he lost so much.

“You should go, get some sleep. Been a crazy day for you, too.” Nalin patted his knee.

“You’re going to be okay?” Takeshi asked quietly.

“Yes.”

Takeshi tugged his long hair with a grin and after kissing his cheek stood up and left quickly with a ‘goodnight’. Nalin watched him with weird melancholy, not sure whether he was meant to be happy or sad. Takeshi’s heart warmed his, the fact that he actually meant something to him now was everything he ever wanted. And that seemingly unconditionally was something he never dared to dream about.

But the gang was back. The gang who murdered his father on his eyes. And they just burned down his beautiful mansion. All of his latest experiments were gone.

He had something for Takeshi. Something nearly finished. And now it was all gone.

Now he was glad he hadn’t told him about it.

The artwork, the flowers, the pictures, all of his favourite things.

He swallowed hard, blinking back tears. He felt naked.

Nalin knew Takeshi wouldn’t give him the leadership of this action. He always handled everything and that was the main reason he was considered the main boss and his men the main mafia.

Maybe it was for the better. Whenever a war began Takeshi turned into a demon that was ready to let the hell break loose to win. Newbies especially liked underestimating him because he did not seem fearful on the outside, but they always regretted it when he showed what he was capable of. Takeshi was cruel and did not fear spilling blood to get what he wanted.

And now he had to prove he was even better than his father.

In a way, Nalin could not wait to see what was going to happen. At the end of the day he wasn’t just fascinated with the pretty boy who could wrap everybody around his little finger pretending to be innocent but being a manipulating imp in reality. He was fascinated with the person who could be that and have tears in his eyes, because his boyfriend proposed to him, then kiss the cheek and play with hair of a friend, and worry about the best friend who did not come back home on time – and then turn around and while joking and laughing create a plan that will make enemies regret that they even thought about harming his family and him.

He fooled many people by acting like an angel lately, but Nalin never forgot what was happening when Takeshi was fighting for full power.

Takeshi wasn’t a ‘plan and order’ person, a quiet soul telling people what to do while hiding far away.

Takeshi was a tiny puppet master in the right place on the right time, with a sly smile and big eyes to disorient you so you would let him, ask him even, to wrap the string around your wrists, forgetting you’re meant to be the enemy, not an ally.

For an entertainer, he loved watching as much.

And pray for people who will refuse to amuse him.

**

When Nalin pressed his cheek to the pillow, eyes closing slowly as the body relaxed after a hot bath… one thought kept on coming back.

What if Takeshi stood behind everything?

**

Takeshi walked quietly inside their bedroom, thinking Isao might have went to sleep, but he was sat on the bed with a newspaper in his hand, reading in the small light. Takeshi smiled and took his clothes off, chuckling noticing the cocked eyebrow and quickly threw Isao’s large shirt over himself.

“It would be easier if you weren’t so beautiful.” Isao moved towards the edge of the bed and caught his hips in a grasp under the shirt covering him to the middle of his thighs.

“Would it?” Takeshi smirked and sat in his lap, hands on his shoulders.

Isao hummed, watching him like a beautiful picture. “Fiancé.”

Takeshi smiled, surprised that a blush could still cover his cheeks. “Fiancé.” He kissed Isao’s lips as he wrapped him in his arms and then moved to the middle of the bed.

They would have spend the whole night in each other’s arms kissing, Takeshi hand on Isao’s cheek as Isao’s arms held him close, legs intertwined. But when their bodies started growing hot, Takeshi’s phone blasted a ringtone in the quiet room, making them jump in surprise.

“Ignore it,” Isao whined.

“It’s probably James.” Takeshi unlocked himself and reached for the phone forgotten in his jeans on the floor, Isao not letting go of his hand and quickly pulling him back in his arms when he caught it.

[Booo, pick me up from the club! Love, James xxx]

Takeshi started laughing.

“What does he want?” Isao asked.

Takeshi showed him the text message.

“No.” Isao tugged him closer. “Tell him to take a fucking taxi.”

“Oh, stop it, you. I will be back in a few.” Takeshi sat up, scratching his head.

“Takeshi, no.” Isao stopped him, voice more serious. “Do you even realise what could have happened today? And now you want to go and pick your stupid friend from club on your own in the middle of the fucking night?”

“Goodness, why do you hate him so much?” Takeshi stood up, shaking his head.

“Because his immaturity is putting you in danger.” Isao quickly stood up after him. “You could have been murdered today!”

Takeshi sighed and turned around to face him. “I can be killed every single day. Gangs want me. Your father wants me. I can die in a stupid accident. What do you want to do? Lock me up in a room until all the bad is gone from this world? You forget I’m part of it too.” He lifted his hand when Isao tried to interrupt. “I am not a fan of you making me feel like a poor little boy who can’t take care of himself. You’re the one who was telling me how powerful I was when I was down, so why are we back to making a fool out of me?”

“You are completely blowing this out of proportion.” Isao grasped his shoulders. “Your safety is most important to me because I’m your bodyguard. And I love and want to keep you safe because you’re my fiancé. Just because you’re powerful does not mean you’re invincible. You’re in huge danger so why you’re teasing them when you don’t need to?”

“Isao, I just want to pick my best friend from a club!”

Isao sighed, hands dropping.

Takeshi touched his naked chest, fingers cold. “If this is really only about my safety, why won’t you just offer to come with me?”

Isao looked a little taken aback. “Because you’d throw a fit the second I’d say that!”

Takeshi crossed his arms on his chest, mouth forming in a pout. “No I would not.”

Isao snorted and quickly caught his mouth in a kiss, hands on his cheeks. “Put something on that ass, or you’re going to get ill.”

“No one would notice I don’t have pants on in the car,” Takeshi murmured lazily. The shirt was covering his ass so if he would stay inside…

Isao slapped him on it. “It’s winter!”

**

“Fuck, it’s cold!” Shaking, Takeshi pushed James in the back of the car and climbed right after him. Luckily the idiot was standing outside, so it took them seconds and hopefully no one took a picture.

Isao’s cocked eyebrow told him everything, so he punched him in the arm. “You can drive now!”

James smiled, eyes betraying how drunk he was, the dreamy look on his face making Takeshi laugh. James proceeded to lie down with his head on his naked lap [yes, Takeshi decided to fight Isao that a long shirt and fluffy boots are enough for winter] and hug him around his middle.

“You okay, boo?” Takeshi brushed his curly hair with his fingers.

“Love you.”

“Okay.” Takeshi bit his lip to not giggle. Isao’s death stare in the mirror did not help.

When they arrived at the place and both dragged James to the apartment, Takeshi hoping no one would meet them at this hour because James rubbing against them as they carried him definitely made his shirt ride up, they breathed out in relief when they could finally throw him in another guest’s room.

Takeshi took James’ shoes, jeans and shirt off, leaving him in his boxers and quickly threw the fluffy duvet over him and left him to sleep.

“He’s going to have a major hangover tomorrow.” Takeshi hugged himself, feeling the chill deep in his bones. He was so going to be sick tomorrow.

Not that he would admit that he screwed up to Isao, so he quickly ran underneath the duvets in their bedroom and hoped they will warm him up quickly. His hands and feet were ice cold.

When he felt the fluffy thick blankets being thrown over him, he felt his heart warming up first. Isao quickly moved underneath and hugged him with his hot body. Takeshi grinned when he kissed his forehead and shuffled closer.

“We’re getting a huge fireplace in our home,” Takeshi whispered once his teeth stopped chattering.

“Thought you don’t need a fireplace when you have me.” Isao’s arm tightened around him as he closed his eyes with a smile on his face. He was happy that Takeshi was thinking about the house already.

Just because obviously there was a fight coming it did not mean that they had to put all of their dreams on hold.

“You make a good radiator but it’s the cozy feeling and light…” Takeshi murmured dreamily, half asleep already.

Isao brushed his soft hair back. Only a few weeks ago he was ensured he would never even see this man again, yet here they were in bed, hugging and he could play with his hair like he loved to do.

His fiancée.

Damn.

“We will have a fireplace and everything else you wish for too,” Isao said quietly. 

**

“And we need a proper table.” Takeshi helped Isao put the plates down, Nalin, Sousuke, Kisumi and Rin sitting around the small table attached to the kitchen. He never needed anything bigger in his apartment because it was meant to be his private place, but since Isao began living with him and it seemed he might have guests more often...

But there was no point trying to change anything here, there wasn’t really much space. They could get a lovely table in their new home.

“No worries, we’re only here for one night.” Sousuke yawned as Isao put the bowl with scrambled eggs in the middle so they could put as much as they wanted on their plates.

Before Takeshi could put some bread in a basket for the table, James who they thought was still asleep walked through the front door with a grin trying to hide how hangover he was, and showed them a bag.

“I’ve got some fresh bread.” He quickly took his shoes off and handed the bag to Takeshi who thankfully put the warm buns in instead of the older bread they had. “Thanks for yesterday, boo.” James sneaked a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Well you have to thank Isao too, in this case.” Takeshi chuckled and handed the boys the basket.

James blinked and then smiled widely. “Thank you…” He spread his arms ready to throw himself at Isao, who quickly enough lifted his hand to stop him.

“Back off.”

“So mean.” James sighed and sat in the space by Takeshi, bumping his arm in his. “I’m starving.”

**

Takeshi sat in front of the fireplace in the living room, hugging the huge fluffy puppy. It was like having an alive teddy bear. The dog was so lazy that he just lied on you and fell asleep turning into a warm blanket.

Isao was putting wood inside the fireplace and set the fire on, rest of the boys sitting on the sofas in a circle, drinking hot coffee and tea.

“You love this dog, don’t you?” James moved to sit by Takeshi and pushed his hands in the fur. “Damn, he would make a warm blanket.”

“Hey!” Takeshi moved away a little, making him laugh.

“I think my primary idea to make a guard dog out of him…” Isao began as the pup moved his paws to rest them on Takeshi’s arms and fell asleep again. “Yeah…”

“Can’t believe you wanted to make a guard dog out of my baby.” Takeshi shook his head in disappointment.

“Your baby weights more than you already.” Isao noticed.

“No, he doesn’t. It’s just fur.” Takeshi hugged him tighter.

“Did he take your side of the bed already?” Sousuke asked Isao as Rin suddenly became very interested in the magazine.

“I don’t let him in the bed.”

“Yeah, well, me neither.”

Takeshi hid his face trying not to laugh.

The calm, warm atmosphere quickly ended as someone knocked on the door. James jumped to open the door and the room temperature quickly dropped.

Takeshi quickly pushed the dog off himself when no one else but Haru’s father walked in. The man looked different than how he remembered him, thinner and paler, seemingly tired or scared of something.

“I knew this day was getting too nice. What do you want?” Takeshi wasn’t in the mood for his shit.

“Oh, how lovely to see a full family,” Nanase commented sarcastically, leaving his most disgusted look for James who grinned.

“Would you like to stay for dinner, darling?” James asked.

He cringed. “We need to talk.” He ignored everybody else and focused on Takeshi.

Takeshi cocked an eyebrow.

Nanase sighed frustrated. “They have attacked you yesterday and burned Florist’s house down. What are your plans against the gang?”

Takeshi laughed. “Nanase, have you confused your tea with vodka today…?” Did he really just ask for his plans?

“They have my son,” he snapped.

Takeshi stood in silence for a few moments. So this is where the desperation came from. It wasn’t shocking that they attacked police too, but the fact that they made pretty good attempts on bosses and one of the policemen deeply involved in trying to put them down… They really weren’t joking.

“He’s been gone for awhile I assume, considering you are here.” Takeshi crossed his arms over his chest.

“I tried everything. But I still don’t even know where he is.” Nanase was fantastic at pretending he has no feelings, but at this moment his face was telling everything. He closed his eyes for a moment, father’s desperation plain on it. “I need your help.”

Takeshi nearly gasped. The world was seriously coming to an end.

But he remained unmoved. “And what I will get out of it?”

“Anything you want.”

Takeshi raised his eyebrows in shock. “Do you know what are you signing up for?” he asked quietly.

“I will ensure you get absolutely anything you wish for if you will find my son,” Nanase said clearly. “Just please, find my son. Because I can’t. I don’t even know if he is still…” His voice broke.

Takeshi watched him. Good Lord, seeing Nanase in this state, so lost, was Christmas came early. Karma finally found that bastard.

“So they kidnapped him and then what? You received absolutely no information?” Takeshi asked.

“Nothing. He was with Makoto, his friend, when they showed up and took him. Makoto said they were masked and the car had some sign on. That’s all.” Nanase brushed his hair back with his hand, tugging it lightly.

“I will see what I can do.” Takeshi nearly laughed seeing the relief on his face. “But you will do everything I want while I do so.” Nanase would do everything, he knew it. He had the policeman in his grasp.

Merry fucking Christmas.

Nanase nodded, cringing a little, not being able to help it.

“Leave now, I will contact you once I find something.”

James kindly showed him his way to the door.

No one said anything once Nanase left. They were starring at Takeshi, waiting for him to say something. But he just sat slowly and began petting the puppy who has lied down comfortably right in front of the fireplace, taking his space.

“Nice catch.” Nalin commented quietly.

Takeshi smiled a little. “It makes me happy, but we should worry…”

“Huh?” James asked confused.

“The gang clearly wanted us to become allies with the police…” he explained.

“Did they?” Sousuke asked confused.

“If they would have wanted something from Nanase, from the police, they would have contacted him. But they kept him in the dark until he came to us.”

“What does it mean?” James furrowed his eyebrows.

“They think that they will weaken us by pushing us together.”

“Gangs usually wants to break everybody apart to weaken them,” James disagreed.

“Yes, but within one group. When you have two groups with completely different mindsets and ideals but they have to work together…” Takeshi shook his head. “They are ensured that we’re going to kill each other before coming to one conclusion on how to get rid of them. And… They must be thinking that they’re strong enough to take us all down, but still want to make it easier for them. It’s either laziness or they just want to act fast, and neither sounds good for us. They’re desperate so we need to be careful.”

“And keep Nanase on a leash.” Isao added.

“They have his son, he will do exactly what I want.” His lips formed into a little smirk.

Nalin watched him in silence.

He really wondered if this was all Takeshi’s game. He played so many people when he was rising to power, that Nalin could not help but look at him wishing he could read him.

Takeshi lifted his head and their eyes met.

But his told him nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so many new subscribers! Thank you, guys!  
> And for all the messages, sweet words, kudos and comments <333  
> Hope you enjoyed :)


	56. Cannibalism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”

“He’s going to find Haru, right?” Rin asked as he walked upstairs with Sousuke. 

Isao and Kisumi left to talk about something, Takeshi, Nalin, and James were meant to go to Florist’s house to find out if anything survived in the fire. After Haru’s dad left, none of them even talked about looking for his son.

“Huh?” Sousuke turned his head to look at him.

“Your dad! When will he look for Haru?!”

Sousuke shrugged. “I guess after he helps Nalin.” Why should he care?

“Sousuke, he was kidnapped! What if they’re torturing him! What if they will kill him!” Rin closed the door to their temporary room and bombarded Sousuke with questions. Sousuke sat on the bed with a sigh, clearly unhappy.

“Rin…” Sousuke started, seeing his flushed cheekbones. “First of all, don’t expect dad to prioritise Haru over people like Nalin. Second, it really is not that easy.” He smiled, hoping it will calm him down. “Dad needs some sort of confirmation that Nanase is really in the game. Then he will probably quietly try to get some information and decide what to do with it. It’s not a quick, easy process.”

“But…”

“Do you want that moron to survive or not?” Annoyance coloured his voice. It’s only been a few minutes but Rin already had issues.

“Obviously…!”

“Then leave it to dad,” he snapped a little.

Rin sat angrily at the end of the bed. Takeshi won’t do shit. He will probably pretend and then act surprised when they will find Haru dead. All he cared about was whether he would have the police in his grasp.

Sousuke stopped himself from shaking his head. He wasn’t even surprised. Rin did not even need to see Haru, Sousuke could not remember the last time he even mentioned him, but he always treated the brat like a child who needed babysitters. The second Rin received information about Haru needing his ass wiped, he was ready to do it.

But at the end of the day Haru was a useless douchebag, so hearing Rin freaking out and expecting his father to cry and run to help him pissed him off.

For fuck’s sake, sometimes he wished he did not keep Rin in the safety bubble from the beginning, not letting him see what mafia was about.

What his father was about.

He worried because it’s been months, Rin was pregnant with his child, but his loyalty still made his father raise an eyebrow and Sousuke found it difficult to blame him.

Rin looked out of the window, the city right in front of him.

Would the gang let Haru go if he helped them… a little?

**

Wrapped in a scarf and coat, Takeshi sat outside his home in the dark, watching the stars. They decided to move to the large house on the hill instead of staying in his apartment after he did not let the kids, Nalin, and James leave.

The apartment was his little private place, and he wanted to keep it that way. He did not like too many people in one house, and everybody else felt more comfortable having their own space in his mansion too.

Besides, the pup was getting big. Seeing him running like mad from one place to another in the garden was a beautiful sight. He still wasn’t asleep, instead rolled on the ground and then woofed happily, waggling his tail.

Fresh air that you could not get so easily in the city especially while locked up in an apartment was clearing his mind as much as he needed.

He had to get the fuckers who attacked Nalin and him. As quickly as possible because they were definitely ready for a huge fight.

The trouble was that he knew pretty much nothing. They did not contact him. He had no idea where they were hiding, what they wanted apart from their deaths, where they were getting their money from, nothing. Not even who was their boss. He was in complete dark.

He looked at the forest down the hills. He paid so much for this place that he really should spend more time here than in the apartment. But when he was alone huge places made him paranoid.

And lonely.

Takeshi turned his head when he heard someone walking towards him. He smiled seeing James who quickly lay by him, breathing heavily.

“What’s wrong?” Takeshi asked.

“You know, playing sane isn’t exactly the easiest.” James pressed his hands to his face. “I’m starving.” A quiet growl escaped his mouth as he caught sitting Takeshi around his middle and pulled to the ground.

Takeshi let him and his head lolled to the side to look at him close, but James already curled up and hid his face in the crook of his neck, arms slowly slipping around him.

“James, snap out of it.”

Takeshi sighed hearing the quiet pained sound, closed his eyes when nails dug painfully in his ribs. Sometimes James stopped at it, so he did not react. Sometimes he did not, like now, and he felt his hot breath on his throat, teeth bared.

But he was always faster and first to catch James’ jaw in a tight grasp, not letting him bite. He pushed him to the side quickly and sat over his hips, one hand on his mouth, the other around his wrists, pressing him to the ground. James had to be starving, insanity in his eyes as he tried to shake him off for a while, but when he started breathing heavily which was a sign of calming down, Takeshi let go and watched him making sure he was all right.

It was always just a short episode.

“Sorry,” James croaked out.

“It’s been a while.” Takeshi sat by him, head cocked. “Was starting to wonder if you went for a meal without me.”

“Not planning to make the same mistake again.” He grinned.

Takeshi smiled sadly. “You haven’t said anything about the jail yet.” Takeshi had to admit that it could have been his fault, considering that he was so troubled, needing everybody’s help, that maybe he did not even ask about others.

“Not exactly the most fond memories.” He sat up slowly. “It wasn’t so bad, but when the hunger came they were beating me unconscious. But, well, it helped.” James shrugged. “It was just lonely, most of the time on my own. Maybe that’s why I’m clinging so much, sorry.”

Takeshi closed his eyes, hugging his knees tighter.

All those years ago when he met James, he quite quickly found out about his cannibalism. It was a secret they shared for a long time. Once every few weeks, sometimes months, his friend needed to eat human flesh. As long as he did not eat his, it wasn’t that bad.

When your reality is mafia, not many things shock you.

When James had to attack, Takeshi watched and made sure no one saw.

James did attack him often, losing control, and the fact that he did not know when the hunger would win over made it unstoppable. At the beginning Takeshi was ending up with scratches, bites, and bruises, but when he became the dearest to James, when he began understanding him without words, when they got used to each other, everything started working out well.

Even Isao did not know.

Once James decided to hunt on his own. That was the only time he went without Takeshi and so the only time he was caught red handed.

Isao wasn’t happy when he found out about his cannibalism, mad that Takeshi never told him. Everybody thought he was hiding James. They did not believe that he never knew.

Takeshi was aware that he could not tell anybody about him supervising the attacks, or that he finds out when James gets hungry when he simply throws himself at him.

Isao wouldn’t be able to stop him from doing it, but the amount of fights they’d have over it would be insane.

Everything was under control, James’ secret was safe with him, and there was no need for involving more people. It was enough that they knew he was a cannibal in the first place.

“You had it worse only in the last few months, don’t worry.” James threw his arm around his shoulders and hugged. “Most of the time I managed to hide the hunger. Besides, the things and money I was asking you to send me over were being exchanged for food when I had the chance.”

“I figured out there was some business going on.” Takeshi snorted.

They were quiet for a moment, relaxed in the dark night.

“You never really told me what happened when Isao’s father attacked you, either,” James said quietly.

Takeshi cringed before he could stop himself, making James tighten the told on him. “Nothing to talk about.”

James bit his lip. Maybe there was no reason to make him talk about it. He could mostly guess what Takeshi was told anyway. “The killers haven’t found him?”

“No…”

“Fuck’s sake.” He shook his head. So many people were out for the man’s blood and he was like a ghost.

“Come on, if anybody knows how to hide, it’s him.” Takeshi smiled tiredly. “Remember how he and dad disappeared when dad was sick. No one knew where they were.”

James hummed, thinking. “You know, I always thought they were gay for each other.” He looked in the distance, furrowing his eyebrows.

Takeshi starred at him. “My father made my childhood hell for not being a ‘man’. Isao’s father nearly killed me for being gay and dating his son.”

“Yeah, but maybe that’s because they couldn’t be together, so they took it out on you two. Or, you know, they hated themselves for having feelings for each other, so seeing them played out in their younger versions… Also, Isao’s father went psycho after your father died.” He stopped suddenly. “I am not excusing his actions, by the way.” James seemed worried he could think so. “Just wondering how could he change so much. He was never an angel and he did shit to help you, but what he did to you this year is insane…”

Takeshi shrugged. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to think about it. “He was always with my father, I thought loneliness made him worse. Lovers or not. The sudden separation… I know how it feels when someone dear to you gets sick and you feel like you need to prepare yourself for the worst, wonder when you need to say goodbye, and you begin imagining it, how it’s going to be, how it’s going to look like, and you hate yourself for it. I can picture how he had to feel when he actually saw him leaving him forever.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “But who knows. He never said anything to me. He just hates me so much and blames everything on me.”

“What does he blame on you?” he asked surprised.

Takeshi sighed quietly and whispered; “Everything. He thinks I’m worthless. Weak. That everything I have accomplished is not my work, but others'. That Isao is doing everything. I’m this… leech, hanging on his son for dear life, ruining it. Son who deserves so much better than some sick, mentally screwed me.” He wasn’t in the place that he had been in a few weeks ago, so he could think more rationally, but…

“If anybody then you deserve better,” James snorted, irritated. His blood was starting to boil. It was obvious Isao’s father would say those kind of things to Takeshi, because those would hurt him the most. Making him feel awful, meaningless, was the fastest way to wound him deep.

“Hey.” Takeshi elbowed him lightly in the side.

“I know, I know.” James rolled his eyes. “You have it so bad for him and, sorry, but I don’t know why.”

“I thought you started to like him a little bit.” Takeshi put his cheek on his shoulder.

“It’s not that I don’t like him, I’m just not a fan of him. He’s the same towards me.” A shrug.

“You never really let him like you in the first place,” Takeshi noticed.

James made an annoyed noise. “Because he just fucking came out of nowhere and took you away from me.” He mentally slapped himself upside the head.

Takeshi was quiet for a moment. “Wait, so this is about jealousy?”

James’ mouth turned into a pout. “No…”

Takeshi chuckled. “Oh, my God, James…” He knew Isao was jealous of him, thinking James wants more than friendship, but James?

“It was only us two and then he stole you away from me.” James whined. “Suddenly it was Isao this, Isao that, fucking hell, I was so annoyed! And he wasn’t even that special!”

Takeshi blushed, laughing quietly. “I was fifteen! He was my first love. Give me a break.” No one wanted to be reminded of how annoying they were when they were young in love. At least he never had to regret falling in love with Isao in the first place. And he was special to him.

James continued on mocking his childish voice, until Takeshi slapped him lightly on his cheek. “Don’t be a bitch.”

“I had to survive you turning into a bitch!”

Takeshi slapped him again, smile brightening up his face. He was always so glad that James could turn serious conversation into jokes.

Maybe if he had told him the darkest moments he survived with Isao’s father, he wouldn’t. But for the reason he did not tell Isao about James’ attacks, for the same reason he did not tell James about what Isao’s father was capable for.

They did not like each other enough. Last thing he wanted was to create enemies within his own family.

“I’m glad it’s not dangerous to grab you anymore.” James shook him a little.

“You all always freak out when I lose a little weight, you know it does not mean my bones just break from the slightest touch.” Takeshi rolled his eyes. Here they go again.

“Jesus, Takeshi,” James breathed out. “You looked horrifying.” His body shuddered. When he saw him in England he nearly did not recognise him. If not the fact that not once Takeshi became skinny on his eyes, he wouldn’t have. But it’s been a long time since he saw him this sick. His weight, or rather lack of it, the bruises, dead eyes and grey sunken cheeks…

Too weak to stand on his legs.

He became afraid of every phone call, worrying Takeshi won’t survive the night.

“Exaggeration.” Takeshi closed his eyes. 

James shook his head, cheek at the top of Takeshi’s head, his hair tickling him.

He won’t ever change.

**

Isao knew he was dreaming.

Dreams usually do not make sense, but they are vivid especially when they turn into nightmares.

He was back in the apartment with rest of the gang, and James and Nalin, clearly waiting for Takeshi. He had no idea why, but it seemed they were going somewhere important, dressed up in suits.

Isao shouted once, twice for Takeshi to hurry up. When it continued on being silent, all of them felt the blood freezing in their veins, looking at each other for a few seconds.

Isao rushed upstairs first.

He started wondering whether the dream was reality when memories he remembered so clearly started flashing in front of his eyes. The blood on the carpet, the clear image of someone fighting, being wounded, grabbed and dragged to the bathroom.

Just like last time.

Isao did not know who screamed when they found Takeshi.

James? Akira?

Maybe it was him.

Takeshi was lying on his side in the pool of blood covering the crystal white floor. Deep gashes covered his face and body, and the short black robe was torn exposing the wounds.

But there was more.

An infant, but bizarre, too small to be alive, like torn out of the pregnant body a long time before the due date.

Severed apart. Lying there, on the ground, in pieces.

And Takeshi was bleeding so much, nobody knew where his blood ended and the child’s started, one of his hands, now lying unmoving, reaching towards the baby desperately.

God.

He was pregnant when his father attacked.

And he murdered them both in the most sickening way imaginable.

Isao woke up breathing heavily and panicking until he realised he was back in Takeshi’s mansion. Takeshi wasn’t by his side, so he freaked out again and quickly got out of the bed towards the window, sweat running down his back. But there he was, outside with James, both of them dancing like fools for whatever reason.

But he was laughing and everything was fine.

Isao sat down for a moment to catch breath and then went to the bathroom to splash cold water in his face, waiting to calm down.

What was this? A warning? Was this really what deep inside he was worrying about?

Dreams show us what we’re afraid of.

How would his father react to Takeshi being pregnant? Were they only asking for more trouble trying to become parents again while his father was still alive?

Isao sat on the edge of the bath.

He was a selfish idiot, trying to get Takeshi pregnant. Yes, Takeshi wanted it, but…

His father was still alive and he… who knows maybe he would go this far when he would find out about it? Isao could not even imagine someone turning into such monster, but his father already was. Things he did to Takeshi were horrifying. There was nothing suggesting he wouldn’t do what happened in the dream.

Isao still did not catch him, yet here he was ready to endanger Takeshi even more.

He was a fool.

**

“Uh oh,” James commented seeing Sousuke sitting with a glass of water in his hand in the kitchen.

“You’re okay?” Takeshi asked, taking the coat off and hugging himself, feeling the chill.

“Yeah…” Sousuke kept his eyes casted down.

“I will leave you to it.” James grinned at Takeshi and kissed his cheek, lips pressed to his skin a little bit longer than usually. “Tomorrow, please,” he whispered against it.

“I promise.” Takeshi patted him on the cheek and pushed towards the stairs.

“Night, kid!” James waved and rushed upstairs.

“What’s up?” Takeshi slid on the chair next to Sousuke, the huge kitchen making them feel small.

“Just can’t sleep,” he shrugged.

“Oh, come on.” Takeshi rolled his eyes, cringed and pulled the phone out of his back pocket. He placed it on the table and clasped his hands together. “Something about Rin?”

Sousuke bit his lip. He really should tell his father about his worries, because knowing how the world worked, his father would pay the biggest price for being kept in the dark.

And he would never forgive himself for that.

“Rin really wants you to save Haru.” It’s already been a few days and he had nothing to tell him which wasn’t making him happy.

“He’s still attached to that moron?” Takeshi exhaled loudly. “This is ridiculous Sousuke. Your boyfriend, who is pregnant with your child, has more feelings for that traitor he hasn’t seen for months than for all of us together.” He always knew that kid would be trouble. But everybody told him to get over it, trust him, treat him like part of the family from the get go when he knew nothing about him. Now people would tell him that he overreacted too, because what’s so wrong with the kid wanting to help his friend, but Takeshi had enough. He did not trust him, that’s it.

He won’t risk his people’s lives.

“I know.” Sousuke bent his fingers, stressed. He was worried. He knew his father never liked Rin and at the beginning Sousuke was excusing everything, but it was just getting worse. And he could understand why Rin was getting anxious, but the problem was that no explanation was working and he was mad since the beginning.

“I want you to keep him away from the business. Don’t tell him anything from now on.” Takeshi stood up, not really seeing a reason to create a huge argument out of it, and put his hand on Sousuke’s shoulder. “We can’t afford traitors.”

“I don’t think he would betray us…” Sousuke whispered. He wouldn’t, would he? His gut feeling wasn’t ensuring.

“Would you swear on my life that he would not?” He asked and after a few seconds of silence, smiled. “Tell him it’s for his safety. He’s going back to his mother tomorrow morning and we will give them security. I want him away from here.” It would only make the brat happy, anyway.

Sousuke nodded, eyes sad.

**

“Isao?”

Takeshi was standing in the door to the bathroom, the pup right by him waggling his tail happily. Isao smiled seeing Takeshi’s red cheeks and hair curled a little from the humid cold weather.

“Hey.”

“What’s wrong?” Takeshi walked up to him and slipped in his lap, grinning when he encircled his waist and kept him close.

“Everything’s fine.” Isao kissed his cheek, cold from staying outside so long.

He knew Takeshi hated when he treated him as someone weaker. It wasn’t that he underestimated his power, he knew very well what Takeshi was capable of.

But he was dear to him. Isao loved him. He was always going to be overprotective and forget about his title. To him he was always going to be a fragile doll that he needed to keep safe.

“Something’s bothering you. Did you have a nightmare?” Takeshi stroked his cheek.

“Yeah, but I already forgot.” Isao smiled and pulled him into a kiss. “Let’s go to bed, you’re like ice.”

Takeshi did not have a chance to say a word before Isao lifted him and threw over his shoulder, making him laugh quietly. The pup started growling at Isao, who snorted and dropped Takeshi on the bed.

“Stop yapping, I’m not hurting him.”

Takeshi cooed and helped the pup get on the bed, his legs too short. “You wanted him to be protective, don’t complain now.”

“Please tell me you at least cleaned his paws.” Isao made a face and lied down by them, pup already curled up by his bend knees.

“’Course I did.” Takeshi stroked the fur as Isao pulled the duvet over them and looked at him unhappily. “What?”

“Is the dog really winning over me?”

Takeshi chuckled and pulled him by his shirt to kiss on the lips. “Nobody has a chance. Apart from the dog.”

Isao slapped him on the ass, making him laugh. “Shush, you will wake everybody up.” Isao grinned and covered his mouth until he calmed down, hand moving to stroke his cheek instead.

Takeshi closed his eyes. “Isao…”

“Yes?”

Takeshi shuffled closer after moving the pup behind himself, letting himself rest in Isao’s arms. “You know, with everything that is bound to happen in the near future…” Takeshi started a little awkwardly. “I mean. With the gang...”

“What’s wrong?”

Takeshi bit his lip and finally looked at him. “I know the chance for me to get pregnant is minimal, but with my luck I would get pregnant now in the worst moment...” He stopped for a second. “I should get pills. This is really not the time. We don’t know how long the fight will last for, how bad it’s going to be, I would most likely get really sick and I can’t afford it now.”

Isao kissed his forehead seeing him getting upset. “I understand. You’re right.” Of course he was. No one wants to be pregnant or raise a child when there’s a war. There was nothing else to add to it.

Maybe he would not need to tell him about the awful nightmare to keep him safe, reason with him why they should not try now.

“I know you want a child, but…”

“Takeshi.” Isao stopped him. “Please, I’m not an idiot. You need to be strong and healthy, people will need you, I need you, and we won’t risk your life now.”

He smiled a little, clearly relaxing. “Thank you.”

“What are you thanking me for?” Isao shook his head. “I don’t know why you think you would get really ill, but every pregnancy takes tool on the person and that’s enough.”

“Little chance means big problems, never heard of that?” Takeshi rested his cheek on his hand. “I’ve read a bit about it. Cases of people in a similar situation to me, getting sick, dehydrated, losing weight, anaemia, pain, kidneys shutting down, and so, and so,” he sighed. “I don’t mind taking the risk when we know it’s safe. But I can’t be bound to the bed in the hospital room while my people are in danger.”

“You never told me you could get this sick.” Isao was shocked. He knew it would not be easy, but he never heard such horrifying stories.

Takeshi shrugged. “I guess I did the right thing.”

“Huh?!”

“You’re already freaking out.”

“Of course I am freaking out!” Sometimes it could be so annoying how little Takeshi cared about himself. As long as others got what they wanted, he did not care. And he acted so surprised when they did.

Takeshi patted his cheek. “Hug me, I’m cold.”

Isao sighed, pulling him as close as possible, resting his chin on the top of his head.

**

Isao rubbed his eyes, yawning. He often woke up earlier than Takeshi because he did morning boxing sessions. Takeshi wasn’t a fan of exercise, especially in the morning, and Isao did not really want to pull him into it. Exercise was healthy, but when Takeshi got into it, he overused. Considering that lately he was finally putting on weight, Isao did not want to risk him getting unhealthy again.

Takeshi was lying on his front, hugging the pillow so he bent to kiss him between his shoulder blades. Later at night he decided to warm up Takeshi in another way, since his hugs did not help, and now he could happily stare at his naked back, gorgeous tattoos on display.

Takeshi had a small body, fragile compared to his, and that made him so terrifying sometimes knowing what he was capable of.

Isao loved kissing every inch of him.

“Wakin’ me up.” Takeshi murmured into the pillow, smiling feeling the lips on his neck.

“You’re pretty in the morning.”

“With my face in the pillow?”

Isao laughed, resting his cheek on his back. “Breakfast?”

“In an hour.”

“Okay.”

Maybe he will stay asleep today for longer too. Just once. 

**

Rin stood in the kitchen and took a few mugs out, one specifically black with a little cartoon devil in the middle. Takeshi’s favourite, from James.

He purposely woke up earlier today, to be first in the kitchen.

Breathing a little unsteadily, checking behind himself, he reached inside his pocket where he had a tiny plastic bag with white powder inside, and closed his hand tightly around it for a few seconds.

And then took it out, opened it, and poured inside the black mug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!
> 
> Have a lovely Christmas, dear readers, and here's a present from me.   
> I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Thank you so much to every single person who commented, messaged me, subscribed, or left a kudo. You're the best. 
> 
> Comments are everything, please remember about leaving at least a few words. It's nothing compared to the few thousands I leave for you :) 
> 
> Here are a few extras:
> 
> Invincible theme song [please have a listen]  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/135664780232/nightcloak-invincible-theme-song-2-please  
> Invincible theme song [one more]  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/133036448542/nightcloak-invincible-ii-theme-song  
> What if Takeshi and Nalin ended up doing a TV spot?  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/134562753437/nightcloak-takeshi-as-the-girl-and-nalin-as-the  
> Takeshi's pup  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/134333002867  
> Takeshi & Isao [pictures]  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/135742944407/nightcloak-takeshi-isao
> 
> More extras on:  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com


	57. Ticking clock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When one life ends, another begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to the friends who always remember about letting me know their thoughts on every chapter :)

The wooden small house was placed in the forest, as far away from people as possible. It was freezing outside, so Takeshi sat right by the huge fireplace, bright from the fire cracking the wood. There was no electricity, nothing. It provided the only warmth.

James was busy in the tiny kitchen right by the living room, human flesh sizzling on the pan as he sang the Christmas song.

“Maybe you wanna have a taste?” He grinned towards Takeshi, calm and happy once again.

Takeshi cringed, wrapping the scarf tighter around his neck. He actually liked being here because it was quiet and sometimes he was tired of people, work, all the good stuff.

A smile showed on his face when James sat by him and bumped in his arm. At least the food looked like basic chicken once cooked.

“What’s going on, boo?” James asked, chewing on the meat.

Takeshi cocked an eyebrow. “Huh?”

“You’ve been quiet lately. You’re not getting sick right before Christmas, huh?”

Takeshi acted weirdly to him for the past few days. He seemed tired, not keen on socialising, and maybe even weakened?

“It’s just a cold,” he shrugged, pulling the sleeves of his sweater down. He did feel off lately, but it was nothing terrible. In all honesty most of the winters he was becoming moody and sick, because his body wasn’t healthy enough to fight the illnesses off, but he hoped for more strength this year.

Oh well.

“Maybe you’re pregnant.”

Takeshi jerked, eyeing him terrified, making James laugh. “What!” James grinned. “You were sick a few times and got weird with food again. You’re not looking great.”

“I am not pregnant.” Takeshi cut him short. Or so he thought.

“You never know.”

“I know what protection is, thanks.” Takeshi rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, you and Isao totally give the impression of most safe people.” James opened the beer and gulped most of it down in one go.

“What are you on about?” Was he even meant to have this conversation with his best friend? He was pretty sure that it was something pretty private.

James grinned, devilish spark in his eyes. “Nothing. Just saw you two in the kitchen once.”

Takeshi starred at him, eyebrows furrowed as he wondered what James had on his mind.

And then it clicked.

“You did not watch us!” he gasped terrified. Freaking hell. Isao and him got drunk downstairs after everybody went to sleep. Sitting in the kitchen, talking and drinking more than they should had, they started kissing. It wasn’t long after that Isao’s hands found their way under his shirt.

“Of course I did not. I totally went upstairs right after he put you on the table,” James drank more, completely ignoring Takeshi paling and then turning bright red. “I think I gained a little bit of respect for him, finally.”

Takeshi blinked. “What?”

“Dude finally showed some balls,” James admitted, but then cringed. “Metaphorically, I mean.”

“Oh, him saving my life couple of times was weak, but manhandling me got your respect? Cheers.” Takeshi shook his head.

“What? That’s not what I meant!” James punched him lightly in his arm and then grabbed it to hug him tightly. “I just always see him as this calm and collected dude who has you in his grasp…”

“Hey!”

“I always thought you loved him more than he loved you, because you showed it way more than him, but I guess it’s just how he is. It was good to see how he treats you when nobody is watching,” he sighed. “Although I do wish he was more sincere in public, too.”

“How on earth our foreplay was so meaningful to you?” Takeshi wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. This is what James got from Isao turning him on?

James deadpanned. “I went downstairs when you weren’t fucking yet, Jesus!”

“Oh, so you stayed to eavesdrop.” Takeshi finally understood. The corner of his lips lifted, remembering the slightly slurred, but most sincere words of Isao. “We have only just came out to the public, James. Let him be. You only make me anxious.” James was so blind to the mistakes he made, but his eyes were wide open when it came to Isao. He completely forgot how Takeshi treated Isao for years, but remembered every detail of Isao’s wrongs.

“You have nothing to be anxious about. Well, unless Isao is that passionate about getting in your pants, but, damn, that’d be desperate. Very.”

Takeshi could not stop the laugh that escaped his mouth. James was a moron. Complete moron.

But he’d do everything for him.

**

Takeshi woke up suddenly and quickly sat up on the huge bed he shared with Isao in his mansion. He wiped the sweat off his forehead, feeling a little ill as he breathed unevenly, and cringed when the pain struck his heart.

“What’s wrong?” Isao was starting to get used to Takeshi suddenly having many nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night shaking. He watched him worried as Takeshi clutched his heart. “Okay, that’s it, we’re going to the hospital.”

Takeshi caught his arm, not letting him leave the bed. “I’m fine, stop overreacting.”

“Takeshi, you’re not fine! How long has this been going for?! You’re only getting sicker. And you already had one heart attack…!”

“Calm down.” He lied back slowly, already feeling better. “You know I always get stressed around Christmas.” Takeshi shrugged.

He really wanted to make this Christmas special. Previous ones weren’t exactly perfect, but they always meant everything to the gang. It was family time, where they all gathered and just stayed together, spreading love and happiness. This was the first Christmas that could be normal after all those years.

That was what made him anxious, because this was when other gangs liked to attack and he was reminded how much his family meant to him.

Just a thought that one of them would not be here made him feel ill.

Mafia was full of betrayals and lies, even in family. He was far from perfect, but he could not comprehend how people could betray their family on purpose. Takeshi knew people were weak, but certain things you couldn’t possibly prioritise over your loved ones.

Unless you do not really love them.

It was sickening. Especially when they insisted on doing nothing wrong. When they believed it.

His family was everything to him. And knowing how little words meant, he always made sure to prove it to them. They were everything truly valuable he had.

Isao sighed and pulled him into his arms. “I am just worrying, because I love you. Takeshi, you’re getting too thin.”

Takeshi hummed, smiling and putting his hand on Isao’s cheek to kiss him.

“Stop trying to disorient me.”

“From what?” Takeshi murmured, legs over Isao’s hips.

“Takeshi.” Isao caught his hips in a grasp, sitting up. “Stop.”

He sighed, looking away. Isao quickly caught his jaw and made his eyes focus on him again. “You lost appetite completely. You’ve lost weight. You are weakened and can’t sleep. There’s something wrong and you have to get checked up.”

“But…!”

“No,” Isao snapped, surprising him. “I am not letting you hurt yourself again.” He really had no idea what was going on, whether this was Takeshi’s doing or something else, but something was wrong. And he was not going to wait until he would find Takeshi unconscious on the floor again.

Takeshi growled and angry lied on his side, as far away from Isao as possible.

**

“Are you okay, darling?” Nalin asked watching Takeshi moving around the kitchen. Nobody else was with them, Isao called in to work over some huge system trouble.

Nalin could see Takeshi wasn’t feeling well, but he was also aware that others already mentioned it and it resulted in him pushing them away. But he seemed to be barely conscious, moving glasses and plates from one place to another, like he wasn’t exactly sure where he was or what he was meant to do.

He murmured something in return, probably a ‘yes’, and only seconds later the glass fell out of his hand as it missed the cupboard where he was meant to place it. It shattered on the ground loudly, Takeshi surprised quickly reaching for it. Nalin, who quickly moved, caught him before he grabbed the sharp pieces and cut himself. Takeshi looked up at him confused.

“Go sit down, I will clean it up.”

There were quick footsteps heard and James jumped in the kitchen, worry on his face. “Everything ok?”

“Yes, just a glass broke. Take Takeshi to the living room, please.” Nalin hoped he would do as told instead of asking him questions. And he did, quick look at him as he grabbed Takeshi who did not even protest.

“What’s wrong?” James asked Takeshi after he pushed him on the sofa.

“Nothing, I just did not sleep well.” Takeshi scratched his head, trying to look simply annoyed. The truth was, something was going on. He felt weakened since he woke up, vision turning foggy once in a while, and he was disoriented.

He did not know what was going on, but it was difficult to pretend everything was fine.

“Lie down.” Nalin came forward and pushed him into lying position. “You know, when people do not feel well, they stay in bed or go to the doctor.”

“I’m just tired.”

“And stupid.” Nalin added.

“Hey!” Takeshi wanted to tell him what he thinks about him, but his phone rang, shutting them up. “Yes?” he asked as he picked it up. He suddenly stood up so quickly that they had to catch him, not trusting he’s strong enough to keep himself up. “I’m going to be there in a minute!”

“What’s going on?”

“Rin is at the hospital with Sousuke, they’re starting the caesarean section.” He grinned, quickly going to the front door to put the coat and shoes on.

“You are not going alone!” James shouted in disbelief, but Takeshi ran outside so fast they did not even have time to move themselves.

**

“Do you know anything yet?”

Takeshi called Isao on his way to the hospital. Once he arrived Sousuke and Rin were already in the operation room, so he sat in the waiting room, fidgeting waiting for him.

“Nope, but I guess everything is fine. They should be out soon.” Takeshi kissed him on the cheek as he sat by him.

“James texted me that you fainted.” Isao crossed his arms over his chest.

“I have not fainted.” Takeshi growled, annoyed. Now they were buddies texting each other?! “Got a little light headed, that is all.”

Isao closed his eyes for a moment, hoping to keep calm. “We’re in the hospital right now, can you please let them check on you.”

“No.”

“Takeshi, for fuck’s sake…”

“Shush.” Takeshi quieted him, random people giving them quick stares. “I’m here to see my granddaughter, give it a rest today, okay?”

Isao shook his head, clearly angry, but dropped it.

They were quiet, surprisingly calm waiting, but they really had nothing to fear. If something bad was happening, they would know.

When the doctor showed up with a huge smile on his face, they quickly stood up.

“Want to see the new addition to the family?” he asked happily.

**

Takeshi and Isao quietly walked inside the hospital room, faces brightening up with excitement seeing Sousuke with a little baby wrapped in a blanket in his arms, small hat on her head. Rin was sleeping on the bed so they quickly gathered around Sousuke who looked like he just saw a ghost, pale and slightly terrified, but there was so much happiness and love in his eyes at the same time, it made their hearts warm.

“Hey, granddaughter,” Takeshi whispered, looking at the tiny peachy face, his hand on Sousuke’s back. “She is so beautiful.”

“I know right,” Sousuke whispered back, not taking his eyes off her. “And tiny.” So tiny. Little girl, completely vulnerable. He was going to protect her with his life. Not let one hair drop off her head.

“Is Rin okay?” Isao asked.

Sousuke nodded. “They gave him painkillers, so he fell asleep.”

Isao looked at Takeshi expecting him to say something, but he kept silent, starring at the baby like at the most precious diamond. He did wonder how Takeshi would act since now, whether the child will change anything. He didn’t need to love Rin, but he was part of the family now and treating him coldly was pointless.

He knew Takeshi did not kick out Rin out of the house for nothing, and Takeshi shared Sousuke’s words with him when Isao finally asked what happened. He understood Takeshi’s worry, but he wondered whether them not treating Rin with more warmth was the reason for him still acting with little love towards them.

On the other hand, why should have they pampered his ass even more? They accepted him and took everywhere with them. Sousuke loved him. It should have been enough.

Isao won’t ever forget Takeshi’s look when Sousuke handed him his granddaughter, the softness on his face, the love in his eyes. He took her so carefully that Isao realised he handled his diamonds rough in comparison.

Rin woke up soon after and his mother came in, stealing the baby quickly out of Takeshi’s arms.

Seeing his mouth twisting into a thin line, Isao quickly grabbed his hand and they said their goodbyes, leaving them alone.

“We can come tomorrow, no point fighting over the baby now. The doctor will kick her out soon too.” Isao wrapped his arm around Takeshi, trying to cheer him up.

Takeshi sighed. “She was so tiny.”

Isao smiled, a little sad. “I know, darling.” He was quiet for a moment. “Can we go to a doctor now?”

“No.”

**

Takeshi was driving towards home, mind a little fogged with the images of his granddaughter.

Damn. He was a grandfather. He wasn’t even forty yet, so it sounded a little weird to him, but when he held the little girl and looked at her face, it was least of his problems.

At least she was going to have a granddad with strength to play for hours. One who could take her places, buy the best things, make her feel like a little princess.

It was funny how human beings worked. You take such a little soul in your arms for the first time and they wrap you around their tiny finger before they even open their eyes.

He was happy she was a girl. Bringing up a boy meant having on mind that one day you would have to train the boy to be a ruthless killer. See the innocence disappear from their eyes, their hands shaking a little, scared of you, the future, what they need to learn to do. And you push and push, because you know the harsher you will be, the stronger and safer they will end up.

He wasn’t happy about being kicked out so quickly, he hoped to let Isao hold the girl too. Sousuke always treated Isao like his dad, so he deserved the title of granddad as much.

If not more than him.

He did wonder how it was going to be. Whether Rin will cause problems, try to push them away. He wouldn’t even be surprised.

Takeshi rubbed his eyes quickly, fog covering his vision again. Isao was driving right behind him. Maybe he should have listened and check on himself, but he was so sick of being the poor Takeshi who constantly needed care, everybody watching over him, not leaving him alone for a moment, pampering his ass like a child…

He was such an ungrateful piece of shit.

He thought of people who had no one in such situations and felt like a dick.

Out of nowhere the loud horn coming from Isao’s car made him jump and his vision clear. He looked surprised in the mirror, but quickly realised he was meant to look to his left. There was a black van taking over Isao and soon showed up right on his side.

And everything went quickly.

The doors slid to the side and two men, covered in black, showed up with guns in their hands. The shooting started and Takeshi automatically quickly turned the wheel right, trying to cover his head with his free arm.

He was lucky that it was an open space, landscape no buildings where he would kill himself driving off the road so quickly. But his car did hit a tree at the end and he felt the impact, blacking out for a few seconds.

“Takeshi?!” Isao’s shout made him blink to clear his mind, and the door quickly opened, Isao’s worried face showed up. “Are you hurt?”

“Well, I did just smash into a tree,” Takeshi mumbled as Isao grabbed him underneath his arms and pulled out of the car. He sat on the grass a little lightheaded feeling the warm blood slowly running down his face. He had to hit his head. “This is why I have so many cars,” he sighed quietly.

“They did not shoot you?” Isao quickly checked on him, breathed out in relief seeing no wounds. He quickly helped Takeshi stand up and took him to his car, stopped right behind Takeshi’s no longer usable one. “Don’t sleep,” he ordered as he started reversing back.

“At least you’re getting what you wanted,” Takeshi murmured, pressing his sleeve to the bruise from which the blood was leaking.

“Huh?”

“Me in a hospital.”

Isao rolled his eyes.

How the fuck the gang knew they were coming back from the hospital?

**

Isao watched Takeshi sleeping on the hospital bed, head wrapped in a bandage, the monitor showing his heartbeat. He was peaceful, a state he did not see him in for a while.

He hit his head pretty hard, so the doctor did not let him out of the hospital, wanting to watch over him over night. Luckily that was all, just a few bruises.

Maybe he would let Takeshi out knowing Isao would watch over him, but they were using the excuse to check on him thoroughly.

Isao worried. The gang sent out killers on Takeshi again. The message was clear. Yet they still knew absolutely nothing. Takeshi was spending days and nights looking thoroughly through contacts, documents, anything that could give him an idea where to look for them, what businesses they had, and who was the boss.

They were invisible.

It was like their only purpose was to murder, ruin them, and that’s it.

Maybe it was.

He needed to keep Takeshi safe. Isao’s blood was boiling from anger and stress. His job was to keep him safe, and he was useless. Sometimes he did wonder whether their relationship was in the way. He was being with Takeshi because he loved him, because they wanted to be together. Not to keep him out of trouble.

It’s not that he forgot to keep an eye. He was trained to perfection. But it seemed like he was failing at everything lately.

His father was still somewhere there, ready to strike again.

The gang was trying to murder Takeshi for the second time.

Something was happening to Takeshi right now, his health worsening, and he knew nothing.

But their killers were out, unless Takeshi called them off and he had no way of checking. He was searching for his father when Takeshi wasn’t looking, to not remind him everyday of what happened. Yakuza was working on finding out anything about the gang. And the doctors were checking Takeshi’s blood and heart.

But Isao wanted to do something. Stop feeling useless. Find his father and kill him. Find any information about the gang. Find out what’s happening to Takeshi.

“Stop thinking so much, it’s giving me a headache.” Isao smiled hearing the murmur, Takeshi’s eyes slowly opening.

“I think the cause might be something else.” He looked ill on the bed, dollish face pale, small and bruised again.

“Come here and make it better.” Takeshi grinned and shuffled to the side, waiting for him to slip by him.

Isao lied down on his side, throwing the arm over his middle. “Better?”

“So much better.” Takeshi smiled calmly.

They were quiet for a few moments, Isao stroking Takeshi’s cheek.

“Do you sometimes miss the old times?” Takeshi whispered, the silence of the room making everything sound twice as loud.

“Old times?” Childhood days? The innocence of them? Were they ever, living with the knowledge what’s coming for him? His mother was always great, his father was barely there…

“I mean when we met,” Takeshi explained.

Isao smiled. “Now you miss when we had to hide?”

Takeshi chuckled. “No. But it was funny sometimes. Sneaking to the club. To your house. Or you to mine. Getting alibis.”

“It was definitely more fun when trying to meet was our only problem.” Isao stroked his hair.

Takeshi smiled, snuggling up to him. It took him seconds to fall asleep again.

Isao sighed quietly to himself.

**

“I am not sure what’s wrong.” The doctor told Isao as he sat in his office. “I did a lot of tests and they’re all bad. It’s like Takeshi’s immune system is giving up. But I have no idea what’s causing it.”

Isao paled, hair tugged up in a ponytail. After spending the night in the hospital with Takeshi who slept through it without a problem, he started thinking that maybe Takeshi just… had a few bad days. Hoped. Prayed.

“So he will keep on feeling ill until we will find out the reason,” Isao scratched his head, worry colouring his voice.

“No.” The doctor interrupted quietly. “He will keep on getting worse. But I do not know how exactly this will progress.”

The realisation what that means took a while. He sat there starring blankly, not understanding. Not wanting to understand.

“Since you said it started a few weeks ago, it means it is progressing slowly. But it is progressing and we have to stop it. But to stop it, I need to know what’s causing it,” he continued. “It reminds me a little of what was happening to him when Florist poisoned him. His drugs were meant to work slowly too, they simply did not because of the hormones.”

Isao’s head snapped up. “You think that bastard…”

“I am not accusing him,” he stopped him quickly. “But the similarity makes it important to make Florist aware. Maybe he will be able to help.”

Isao’s blood started boiling from anger. If that bastard gave Takeshi anything…

He was living with them, so he could slip him something at any time. Takeshi trusted him so blindly he’d even take whatever he gave him, no intrigue needed.

“I want you to make Takeshi stay in the hospital.”

“There’s no way he’s going to.” Isao shook his head, mind still focused on Nalin.

The man closed his eyes for a moment, sigh escaping his mouth. “Then make sure he’s careful and keep an eye on him.” It was so irresponsible to let him out of the hospital, but what was he supposed to do with Isao? Tie Takeshi to the bed? He’d escape anyway.

“I will.” Isao’s voice was strong for once. He did not look at him, shoulders tense. “I will go and tell him.”

**

“It’s not Nalin.” Takeshi put the shirt over his head angrily, pulled it down over the thin body. “He has no reason to attack me.”

“He gave you something that worked exactly the same!” Isao snapped, not letting him turn away from him. “It just worked faster because you were pregnant.”

Takeshi cringed, reminded, mouth forming into a thin line. He was not going to accuse Nalin. Never.

“Let’s go home, if I’m suppose to drop dead soon I still have a few things to do. Not leaving Sousuke with this shit.” He snapped back.

“Takeshi.” Isao stood in place, suddenly quiet, looking at him in a mix of disbelief and brokenness.

He turned around and finally noticed Isao’s face. So the whole outburst was to hide how terrified he was of what he was told in the doctor’s office?

Takeshi was beginning to be so used to bad news that they did not even have any effect on him anymore. Well, if they had to do with him. He would always care for others.

He walked up to Isao and put the palm of his hands against his cheeks softly. “Don’t worry in advance,” he whispered. “I’m still here, fully functional. We will worry about more important things first.” If he was dying, he truly was least priority and they had to focus on making sure everything was perfect for Sousuke to take over…

“Stop talking about yourself like you’re just one of the problems.” Isao said, chin shaking for the shortest second before he gathered himself as he was taught to. Emotions come last, right? “You are sick. It’s like cancer, slowly destroying you. We have to find the cure as quickly as possible. Your life, saving you is the priority now.” He hated when Takeshi treated himself like an object, faulty therefore least significant. Like being sick, dying, made him least worthy. It was always like this. Takeshi considered all of their lives most important, but when it came to his…

“Right now, there is no cure, because we don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Takeshi smiled, trying to cheer him up, hoping acting like everything was fine, at least for now, would put his mind at ease. They were probably never going to find out what's wrong anyway. But this was Isao. He loved him. He wasn’t going to calm before he will save him. “So we have to focus on…”

“We have to focus on finding the cause and cure as quickly as possible.” Nothing could make Isao reconsider his priorities when it came to Takeshi. He was angry Takeshi even tried. Never in his life he’d let him put himself last, act like his life was worth less than others. Takeshi was as important as everybody, and more because he was his fiancée and he was not going to let him fucking give up. Ever. “I am not going to let you die,” his voice was strong.

Takeshi gave up fighting. He watched the steel eyes, mouth snapping shut as Isao took his hands off his cheeks and moved to gather his bag with clothes.

Takeshi sometimes wondered how many years ago he would have died if not Isao. And that not because he wouldn’t have a bodyguard.

But someone who actually saw him worth of living.

And as much as others cared for him, too… There was something about Isao that he just knew he was the one who would never, ever, let him give up.

As much as he hated him sometimes for it, his heart beat harder at the same time, fighting back as much as Isao.

When Isao grabbed the bag and turned to look at him, Takeshi smiled warmly, hoping his eyes were showing how much he loved and appreciated him.

Sometimes no words could say enough.

He looked at the watch on his wrist.

It suddenly seemed to be ticking way faster than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Thank you for all the comments, kudos, reblogs, likes, subscriptions, and messages! :)


	58. The truth about Nalin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now it makes sense...

The journey back home was quiet as Takeshi decided to not interrupt Isao’s thoughts. The information was slowly sinking in and he needed to deal with it himself first. Isao was stronger than him.

They both needed to accept different things.

Isao had to deal with him dying.

Takeshi was more concerned about everything else. With the gang attacking he could not die yet, leaving Sousuke without him in the middle of the war. He was concerned for Isao the most, because others would carry on without him just fine. Sousuke now had his family, and so did others. James and Nalin were free souls who luckily somehow became friends.

Isao had a son, but…

They were meant to be together. Marry. Maybe have children. Build a house.

Invisible hand squeezed his chest realising all their dreams just ended.

He looked outside the window, trees quickly disappearing from the view, one after another, impossible to count them.

Takeshi closed his eyes, remembering the contract.

The goddamn contract they signed so young, stating that Isao must die if failing him. And while the illness had nothing to do with him, Takeshi knew Isao well enough to know that his death alone would matter, not the cause.

Fuck.

**

Takeshi had to stop himself from chuckling when they walked inside and noticed James and Nalin preparing the table for breakfast. Everything looked so perfect that definitely Nalin stood behind it, but both could be responsible for the lovely smell from the kitchen.

“Wow.” Takeshi looked impressed.

“Hey, you.” James grinned and grabbed him into a hug, arms tight around him, breathing in his smell. “How are you feeling, darling?”

“I’m fine, thanks.” Takeshi smiled and looked at the table and then Nalin, standing behind it with hands on the back of the chair, expression calm.

“Congratulations.” Nalin played with the end of his thick plait on the side of his head, long lying over his shoulder and running down his chest. “Grandpa.”

Takeshi laughed happily. “She’s a cutie.”

“The gang said they’re coming for breakfast, so we prepared.” James pointed at the table, Takeshi tried not to snort seeing Nalin’s meaningful glance. “Okay, well, mostly Nalin, but I did help.”

“No one is saying you did not.” Nalin smiled and gathered Takeshi in a hug. “Sure you’re okay?” He touched the bandage on the side of his head.

“It’s nothing.” Takeshi shrugged. It really was, especially compared to what truly was wrong. Isao was standing a little behind him all this time, not saying anything, not really looking at anybody. Takeshi knew that the other two men were noticing his weird behaviour, but luckily nobody said anything.

Isao was waiting for Nalin to just say a word.

The rest of the gang quickly gathered, concern turned into happiness seeing everything was fine. But when they finished breakfast and sat comfortably in the living room just to chat, nobody could really excuse Isao’s behaviour as little sleepy or hungry so busy with eating anymore.

Takeshi was sat so close to him, hand on his thigh, trying to keep him calm, but he could literally feel the blood boiling. And when Nalin sat at the opposite end, the sofas placed in a circle, he started the fire with a simple question.

“What’s going on?”

Others looked at them slightly caught off guard. Isao bit his teeth together, but it was too late and his head snapped up, finally looking at Nalin.

“Isao, please.” Takeshi warned Isao, now everybody’s curiosity spiking up.

“No, let him talk, he obviously wants to tell me something,” Nalin said calmly, James sitting right by him confused.

“Me? I think you have something to say.” Isao’s voice was also calm, but mouth formed into a thin line as his hands curled into fists.

Nalin cocked his eyebrow, refusing to let him play the game.

“Takeshi is sick,” Isao said quietly. “But I am sure it is just a coincidence that all of his symptoms are exactly like those he had when you’ve poisoned him, right?”

Nalin starred at him, shock colouring his face, as others moved uncomfortably.

“What are you…” Nalin gasped, not sure whether he should be mad or laugh him off. Were they seriously… Could they really…

“Nalin, I know it’s not you,” Takeshi said quickly, hating how the whole attention was suddenly on Nalin, the trust they’ve built breaking so fast as everybody but maybe James looked suspicious, not knowing the whole story yet, but enough.

“Of course he does,” Isao snapped, standing suddenly, Nalin right with him, body tense. “He will stand behind you blindly like he did from the start. But let me tell you something…” He walked closer, Takeshi quickly standing ready to push them away from each other. “If you’re standing behind this, I will tear you apart with my bare hands.”

“Isao, stop…”

“How dare you suggest I could poison him after everything that happened?” Nalin whispered.

Isao laughed sarcastically. “You saved him once which got you his complete trust, but it did not make me forget about everything you were capable of before.”

Nalin shook his head, something vulnerable in his eyes. He looked at Takeshi. “You know why I was doing all of this. You know what I always wanted.” His eyes were back on Isao. “I got everything I ever wanted and more. Why would I hurt Takeshi now?”

Isao snorted, losing it completely. “How sweet of you. I don’t know. Maybe because you’re a fucking schizo?” He spat.

Takeshi did not have a second to register what Isao said before something in Nalin snapped and he threw himself at Isao. Takeshi was pushed to the side, James shocked caught him, as the two guys started a fight like cats trying to tear each other apart, punches, scratches, and lots of ugly words. James and Takeshi threw themselves at Nalin, grabbing him and pulling away, knowing that other boys will go for Isao.

Isao could be stronger, but Nalin was quick so they needed seconds to leave bruises on each other’s face. It was difficult to hold them apart, madness clear in both.

“Calm down! Stop!” Others screamed, after a few good minutes finally succeeding in pushing both away from each other. Takeshi sat over Nalin’s middle, keeping him lying on the sofa, hands grabbed by James. Isao was pressed to the sofa on the opposite end, the gang not letting him go until both calmed down, breathing heavily.

Takeshi sat by Nalin, slipping off his hips, hands now lightly on his shoulders. He caught Nobu’s look, the only one he could count on being wise in this case. Hopefully.

Nalin pushed him away lightly and sat up, looking away from all of them. He looked hurt and Takeshi touched his bruised cheek, the punch of Isao’s fist already showing.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“I would never…” Nalin closed his eyes, looking away feeling the tears forming.

“I know you did not betray me.” Takeshi embraced him quickly, feeling ill seeing Nalin in the broken state. Even if he had, which he did not, a doubt, seeing him breaking so badly under the assumption ensured him that Nalin was loyal. There was no reason for him to do it.

Nalin hugged him back and Takeshi felt the tears on his shoulder. His eyes met with James’ who patted Nalin lightly on the back, face mostly confused.

“Are you stupid?” Nobu snapped at Isao who pushed them away and went to the window, as far away from them as possible. He growled, trying to remain patient. “Okay, I gather they finally tested you in the hospital and know what’s wrong? You’ve been poisoned again? How the fuck?”

Takeshi shook his head tiredly. “I’m not diagnosed with anything. My immune system is fucked and I’m getting weaker. We don’t know the cause so the doctors can’t really do anything.”

“So you might be sick.” Iwao spoke up.

Takeshi shrugged. “They assume they’d know if it was an illness.”

“Wait, so nothing really bad is happening to you, you’re just weakened?” Kin asked.

Takeshi was quiet for a moment. “… Yeah.”

He knew them so well. He knew who could take what. It was the second of hesitation that was enough for Nobu to realise what it actually meant, his eyes slowly catching his. Iwao moved uncomfortably and Nalin’s arm tightened around his middle, still hiding away his face, but James, Akira, and Kin snorted angrily, faced not exactly bothered, because nothing bad was actually happening from what they understood. They were just pissed off that he felt ill and nobody knew why.

Weakened.

“We have to find the cause to find the cure,” Nobu said mostly to himself, standing up and making his way to Isao, who was still by the window, head hung low. Nobu put his hand on his arm in support, now understanding why he exploded so badly.

“Yes.”

“How quickly is it progressing?” Nalin lifted his head finally, asked quietly.

“Seems pretty slow, I guess.” It was so insufferably quiet. “Anyway,” He was happy to join the group in denial, “We are getting very desperate for some information about the gang. I need something for Nanase, or he will become the enemy once again.”

“Right.” Iwao snapped out of his thoughts, straightening up where he was sitting by Kin. “So I gathered that there’s some new group playing in the human trafficking. Well,” he cringed, “I wouldn’t have known because it’s not where I… specialise. But people started talking and it seems someone is involved in trafficking children.”

Takeshi furrowed his eyebrows, mouth twisted in disgust. “Children?”

You could laugh hearing they have morals, a gang responsible for drugs, trafficking, thief, and murder. But everybody had certain rules, and their was simple but most important – do not touch children. Everything was easy to Takeshi, but at the sound of children being taken away from their families, moved, hurt, used, raped… it made him sick to think about it. He could tear apart and fight with men but touching someone so innocent was just disgustingly wrong.

Iwao nodded. “I don’t know what they’re doing with them.”

Takeshi bit the inside of his cheek, thinking. If the world wouldn’t be so fucked up he’d hope they’re just using them in production companies. But the world was fucked.

Everything became even more urgent now.

“I wouldn’t tell Nanase that,” Akira murmured.

“How quickly do you think you will be able to get some information?” Takeshi asked Iwao.

“There’s new delivery today, I will be meeting with people so hopefully I will be able to get something out of them.”

“Okay.” Takeshi nodded.

**

Takeshi knocked on Nalin’s door but let himself inside not hearing anything. Nalin was sat on the windowsill, head turned away starring outside the garden.

He walked up to him, slipping opposite to him, not asking if he can. He’d probably tell him to go away even if it was his house.

“I’m sorry for Isao,” Takeshi said quietly. In reality Isao should apologise to Nalin, but he would not. He wasn’t even speaking to Takeshi, left with Nobu pretending he had a job with him. The quick confusion on Nobu’s face explained enough.

Nalin shrugged. He did not seem mad, just upset.

“I didn’t know… I mean.” Takeshi slapped himself mentally, not knowing how to make sure he won’t sound insensitive. “Are you really…?” Well, he was either going to hear the truth, or get punched in the face. Or maybe both.

“A what? Fucking schizo?” Nalin cocked his eyebrow.

Takeshi shook his head, looking down. He did not really expect Isao to go that far. If Nalin really was sick, it was a low blow. Besides, Isao was aware how mentally unstable Takeshi was, so to use mental illness as an insult, it really should had been beyond him.

“I’m sorry.”

“I mentally broke down after my father died.” Nalin looked away. “They admitted me to a mental hospital with depression, but once the door closed after me, they started diagnosing me with whatever they saw fit, stuffed me with whatever they saw fit, used some screwed up ancient methods on me. As you can guess it only made the matter worse. I’ve escaped and hid before reaching adulthood.” Takeshi starred at him in shock. “I don’t know whether schizophrenia was the problem from the beginning or they caused it, but yes, I am diagnosed with it,” his voice was monotone.

Takeshi swallowed hard, quickly pressing his cheek to his shoulder to wipe away the tear that escaped his eye. So this is what was happening to Nalin and changed him so much.

“I did not tell because I did not want the information to spread and my production to get hurt. Nobody would buy from the mentally unstable one,” he snorted. “Didn’t think it was anybody’s business but my own either.”

“It is not.” Takeshi said quietly, pressing his cheek to the cold window.

“And I really did not poison you.”

“I know.” Takeshi smiled, hoping to make Nalin too, but his face was blank. “Excited to see your son?”

Nalin’s son and his daughter were meant to come home today. Takeshi was quite sure that his daughter was already trying hard to change the plan, but they could not really do much. Everything was going to be so awkward. But at least one person in the house will surely want him dead.

“Excited to see Yori?”

“Sure, darling.” Takeshi chuckled. He sighed and stood up. “Okay, I will leave you alone, you probably want to catch a break.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Nalin murmured, watching him. “Takeshi.” He stopped him as his hand reached the door. Nalin turned to face him. “You do remember when I slapped you at my house?”

Takeshi snorted. “Yeah.”

“It was a bad day,” he said quietly. “When you… When you moved in, things started looking a little brighter, you know.” Takeshi took a few steps back to him, listening. “I’ve made the mistake of taking less and less drugs, sometimes forgetting them completely.”

“I was quite a bother, huh? Sorry…” If he knew what Nalin was going through he’d ensure he was taking care of himself too. Even when sick he wasn’t selfish. But he always saw Nalin as the most responsible for himself.

“No.” Nalin laughed. “I mean, you did make me forget, but in the good way. I started feeling better. Everything was just as I thought it would be.”

Takeshi smiled, lips slowly forming with realisation. “You thought I would heal you.”

Oh, God, it all made sense.

“Everything was perfect, even though I wasn’t on drugs.”

“But then you lashed out.”

“But then I lashed out the second you just did one thing not as I wanted.” He smiled sadly.

“I’m sorry,” said Takeshi quietly.

Nalin laughed. “For not being my little miracle? You know all those years I’ve been making your life hell because I just wanted you for myself so you’d ‘heal’ me.”

Takeshi was quiet for a moment. “I think we all want to be saved.” He made the last step and their knees touched, Takeshi standing, Nalin sitting. “So the person who makes us feel better is the one we see as our saviour. But they only can do as much.”

“Now you’re talking like you’re speaking from experience.”

He chuckled quietly. “When I’ve met Isao I saw him as my hero and, honestly, nothing has changed.”

“Well you weren’t far off considering he is your actual bodyguard.”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

Nalin was quiet for a moment. “I think the right person makes a huge difference.” He took his hands in his. “Because without them you could give up. You could say that’s it. And no one would be there to not let you. And sometimes you just need the presence of this special person to simply feel better. But, yes, they only can do as much.” He repeated after him.

“I’m sorry I left then.” But maybe it was good that he did. He was so broken he wasn’t even good enough for cheering someone up after they realised the sad truth. He’d only make it worse.

“I only needed to swallow pills again. You were on the edge. You had to go.” Nalin shook his head. He wasn’t mad, he knew Takeshi wasn’t selfish and one to not care about friends. Takeshi was a wreck then and he needed to save himself first.

**

“Dad!” the blonde hair boy shouted excitedly and threw himself in Nalin’s arms, both he and Takeshi in the living room waiting for him and Yori.

She wasn’t here and Takeshi sighed to himself quietly.

“How was your trip?” Nalin put his hands on son’s cheeks, looking him over like he was still a little boy coming back from a school trip, leaving his dad worried.

“Everything worked out fine.” He saluted jokingly.

“Where’s Yori?”

“Oh.” He moved back, eyes going from Takeshi to Nalin. “She had something to do. I think she will stay at the hotel.”

Takeshi smiled. Well, it was his blood after all. She wants to get out of meeting him, so she will. “Okay, I will leave you two alone then.” He stood up. “Everything is in the kitchen and your dad will show you your room. Goodnight.”

“Takeshi.” Nalin caught his arm, stopping him. “This is your home, you do not need to go anywhere.”

“You two haven’t seen each other for a while. Besides, I’m tired, and Isao clearly is not going to come back for the night, so I might as well go already.” He patted his arm and waved to the boy, quickly making his way upstairs.

“Damn, he’s ok?” Ren took a pick from behind Nalin once Takeshi disappeared from their view. “He looks sick.” He sucked in his cheeks, which his father quickly slapped him upside the head for.

“I did not raise you to be an insensitive prick.” Nalin shook his head in disapproval and pushed him to the kitchen, knowing he is probably starving. Ren sat by the island, waiting as his dad warmed up the milk for the hot chocolate, put the croissants by him. He hummed happily.

“That’s a big ass house.” Ren looked around curiously.

“I want you to treat Takeshi with respect.” Nalin put the mug in front of him and one for himself. “We’re on good terms now and he is letting us stay over.”

“I did wonder why you did not just go to the hotel.”

Nalin did not really feel like telling him that he wanted to stay when Takeshi told him to, because it was so nice to have company for once. “He is letting me use his basement which is useful.”

“Ah, fair play.” It was understandable his father chose the mansion over hotel then. “Yori doesn’t want to move here.” He said the actual truth. “I don’t get her, but when I try to talk about her father with her, she gets all pissy.”

“I am not sure if I understand her either.” Nalin patted his fingers against the wooden top. From what he gathered, Takeshi never hurt the girl. He wasn’t a fantastic, warm and understanding parent, but never caused real harm. If anybody then Sousuke should have kicked his ass.

But Sousuke was amazingly loyal for a boy who went through so much.

He knew the girl was hot bloodied, quickly jumping to conclusions, little understanding and a lot of judging of everybody but herself. She had still been pretty useful though especially with how little she cared for Yakuza. Now she was mostly useless, but he did not have a heart to kick her.

Where would she go?

“She’s right mad that you and Takeshi are now buddies.” Ren snorted. “Bratty, though. I wouldn’t worry.”

“Keep your eye on her.” If she betrayed Takeshi, she could do the same to him. Of course he worried.

Ren wiped the milky moustache off with his sleeve, receiving a disapproving look from Nalin. “What happened to your face, dad?”

“A little misunderstanding with the house’s pitbull,” Nalin smirked.

Ren blinked. “Oh. Takeshi’s guy? What the hell he attacked you for?” He furrowed his eyebrows in anger.

“Long story, don’t worry about it.” Nalin patted his hand. “It’s late. You should go to sleep.”

**

Takeshi lied down in the middle of the bed, phone in his hand. He was checking it constantly for some information from Isao, but no luck.

He could at least tell where he was. Takeshi worried but hoped that Nobu had an eye on him.

[Please come home. I am worried.]

Maybe once upon a time he would be too proud. Isao and him knew how to stand their ground, not talk till another would give up. Often they just pretended the argument never happened in the first place, quietly agreeing to disagree.

It did not seem he had time to waste anymore.

[I’m at Nobu’s. Sleep tight.]

Takeshi curled up.

Knock, knock.

“Yes?”

“Psssst, it’s James.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed :)  
> Thank you so much for all the subscriptions, comments, messages, likes and reblogs, and kudos. You guys are lovely <3


	59. Shiro Takara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takeshi: The only person you have to be afraid of, is me

“You are fucking insane, that’s what you are.” Takeshi whispered, but could not hold back a quiet laugh escaping his throat, as he and James sneaked to the club through backdoor.

They had enough money to spend their lives at the most beautiful and expensive clubs in the VIP area. But why would they when all they wanted was to be left to themselves, nobody judging, nobody looking, nobody giving a damn about what they were doing.

Especially when they wanted one thing.

To forget.

Takeshi knew James understood what was happening to Takeshi. He wouldn’t have grabbed him in the middle of the night and take him here so urgently otherwise. But James was a master of living in denial if he only wished to.

He wouldn’t acknowledge the fact that Takeshi was dying until he would drop dead in front of him.

“I’ve missed this shit so bad.” James grinned so wide as they stood by the bar, waiting for their alcohol, so pretty with his curly dark hair, boys and girls eyeing him interested.

The club was one of the dirtiest underground, basement so dark only the flashing lights helped to see, bar on the side scratched and painted in graffiti, most of the people drugged and drunk, barely standing on two legs. So much smoke and such loud music…

Takeshi felt blissfully gone already.

Not only nobody cared to recognise them, but nobody would want or manage to. They did not even look like themselves, hair a mess full of glitter and gel, so much eyeliner and lipstick, and clothes torn in places. They looked cheap and exactly as they wanted and fit for this place.

They danced that night, drinking, snorting in drugs, and blowing smoke into each other’s mouths, Takeshi hanging on James knowing he would give him strength. But they both needed it tonight.

**

“I hope Iwao will find out everything we need.” Nobu put the glass in front of Isao sat by the kitchen island in the middle of it. He poured vodka into it.

“It would be useful to get rid of at least one problem,” Isao said quietly, eyes on the glass. He felt completely emotionless, tired…

It was too much.

Within a few months Takeshi went through hell. Finding out about being played by their fathers, his wife alive. Heart attack. Florist nearly killing him. Forced miscarriage. Anorexia and depression. Suicide attempts. Isao’s father torturing him…

Takeshi was so goddamn strong, fought with every single bit of nightmare he had to face. Again and again, it knocked him off his feet but he stood up again.

And here they were again. Was Isao even supposed to be surprised that Takeshi did not care anymore? That he just accepted it?

He’d give up too. But they could not let him give up.

“I think it is good that the gang is attacking again.”

Isao looked at Nobu surprised. “What?”

“It’s twisted logic.” Nobu shrugged. “But Takeshi has something to focus on. You know it is the best when he has the gang to think about, fights, do remember that he is the boss of Yakuza. It keeps him strong, in his warrior mood. He won’t give up as long as he has things to do.”

Isao sighed and Nobu smiled, sitting by him and bumping in his arm a little. “We will save him. How many times the situation looked impossible to save but we managed to anyway? Now we have Nalin on our side, if Takeshi’s symptoms are so similar to what happened when he poisoned him, I have hope he will find the cure. Takeshi won’t let the doctors lock him up in a hospital to check what’s wrong with him, but he might let Nalin work his magic.”

Isao snorted. “Of course he will let Nalin do whatever he wants.” He took the glass in his dangerously tight grip.

“Oh, please.” Nobu rolled his eyes. “You’re not jealous of him, are you?”

“I don’t understand why you all completely forgot who he is!” he snapped.

“Nobody forgot who he is, but since he helped Takeshi and he trusted him in return, Nalin hasn’t done one thing to make us doubt him.” Nobu explained calmly. “As long as he keeps it that way… You do know that he wants Takeshi alive. All he ever wanted, as twisted as it was, was to have him. Since he does…”

“Now we are normalising his psycho obsession?”

“Nobody is normalising it, but his ‘psycho obsession’ calmed down since he started having normal relationship with Takeshi. I don’t know what’s exactly wrong with the dude, but…”

“He’s schizophrenic.” Isao put the glass down and grabbed the bottle of vodka to pour more into it.

“Oh so he actually is, you weren’t just being a prick?” Nobu sighed. “Well you were even a bigger one then.”

“I don’t give a shit about his feelings.”

“But you do about Takeshi’s. You want him to think that this is your attitude towards mental illness?” He cocked his eyebrow.

Isao closed his eyes for a moment.

“Everybody is keeping an eye on Nalin, don’t be a fool.” Nobu shook his head, wondering how blind Isao could sometimes become. “But we need him now, so be decent.”

**

Takeshi wrapped his arms around James’ neck, letting him swirl him around, both of them laughing like mad. They were so drunk, so drugged, all they saw was themselves and colours, and heard the loud music. He was so happy, like a child who never faced any troubles.

“I’ve missed youuu,” James sung in his ear, somehow having lost his shirt a while ago, now confetti sticking to his naked sweaty chest.

“I’ve missed you too.” Takeshi clung more.

“Way too many naked bodies here, though.” James whined, Takeshi catching the hint quickly. He smiled, forehead pressed to James’ shoulder and after a few moments grabbed him and took to the building right by the club, a dirty motel where nobody sober would have stayed at. There was nothing but a bed in the middle of the room and they dropped on it, catching a much needed breath.

“I have the best ideas.” James put a cigarette in his mouth and lightened it up, smoke escaping his mouth.

Takeshi turned and put his cheek on his chest, arm around him. His eyes were closing against his wish already. James ran his fingers through Takeshi’s hair, eyes on the ceiling, smiling when the alcohol did not let him think.

“Will you ever tell Isao the truth about Umiko?”

Takeshi sighed quietly, nearly asleep. “Never.”

James finished the cigarette and fell asleep himself.

**

“Wake up, pretty boy…”

Takeshi growled and hid his face in the pillow, the sun blinding him. James moved and lied over his back, bit him on the shoulder when he refused to wake up, making Takeshi whine again.

“Come on, those little fucks of yours are probably rolling on the ground already.”

“My fucking head...” Takeshi finally turned and faced him, laughing at his face smeared with make up. “Do I look as amazing as you?”

James shrugged. “Still fuckable.”

**

“What did you find out then, Iwao?”

Sat in the living room of Takeshi’s mansion, everybody looking proper as if nothing happened before the night, they could finally talk about business.

Iwao cringed and the bruise on his cheek deepened. “Children,” he said quietly. “They don’t traffic adults, only children.”

“What for?” Takeshi asked, pushing for more answers.

“I don’t know…” He shrugged. “Brothels, factories… fuck knows them. There are only speculations.”

“We need to find out where they are and who runs them.” Takeshi leaned over the documents they collected over the past few weeks, but none of them gave them a hint of where the business could be held. His guess was that they either kept away from Tokyo, but they would still manage to find them in Japan, so they had to be hidden away from it or somewhere no civilisation reaches.

“Do you know anyone who could possibly work for them?” James asked, bottle of cold water pressed to his forehead. He was suffering from hangover unlike Takeshi, having drank more than he did during the previous night. Besides, Takeshi have learned a long time ago how to hide his hangover if there was a need.

Nobody needed to know they were out together shitfaced yesterday.

Everybody was eyeing him curiously, a little worried, a little unsure, so he made sure to look his best. They knew how much he could fool with good clothes and make up, but they got fooled every single time anyway.

“No.” Iwao stretched his legs out, sitting more comfortably on the sofa. “Those responsible for delivery aren’t meant to know anything, nor they want to.”

“Yeah but they are delivering them somewhere?” James asked, unaware how the business works.

“Depends. I always change locations. You can change cars, switch drivers, anything. I am pretty sure they’ve been trafficking for a long time, but we just found out, so it was either done on purpose or by mistake that we finally got a hold of their delivery location at least. There’s no guarantee they will ever show up again.”

“They will.” The corner of Takeshi’s lips lifted, an idea clear in his head. “Leave it to me.”

Before they could carry on conversation and ask what he was taking about, the bell rang and Takeshi quickly went to the door, face brightening up seeing his son and Rin right by him, the baby in his hands.

Well, Rin of course did not look him in the eye.

“Hi, dad!” Sousuke grinned and let his boyfriend in first.

“Should have called us, we’d pick you up.” Takeshi closed the door once they walked in, the gang stood up quickly and gathered around them, excited stealing the baby out of Rin’s arms to look at her closely.

“Pink hair and blue eyes?” Akira laughed. “Well she will have all the attention, that’s for sure.”

“Right, because she wouldn’t with Yamazaki surname alone.” James nodded, making Akira show him his middle finger.

Rin who sat on the sofa, cradling the baby, looked at Sousuke quickly which did not miss Takeshi’s attention. Sousuke refused to look at him though, clearly uncomfortable.

“Right…” Takeshi refused to be ignored. He could guess what was going on. “The surname.” He sat by Nobu, opposite to them, as elegant as him today.

Feeling all eyes on himself, including Rin’s, Sousuke coughed. “Okay. Well. Erm… Rin was thinking…”

“We were thinking,” he interrupted.

Sousuke nodded, slightly unconvincing. “Since we’re not married and, you know, for protection, maybe it would be better to give her Rin’s surname…?”

It was so quiet, just as he expected, and his father did not even move a blink, starring straight in his bright eyes with his dark. The way everybody became quiet he knew this was even more important than he thought at first.

When Rin proposed this idea he looked at him like he was insane. It did not even cross his mind that the child would not have his surname. But when Rin started explaining that it would keep the baby safer and after all they are not married…

Maybe it would make sense?

“You’re mafia boss’ son, first in line to take over and you don’t want your first child to carry your surname?” James snorted, hoping it was a joke. Takeshi was going to fucking kill them.

“I do, it’s just…” Sousuke spluttered.

“No.” Takeshi said quietly but his voice was heard clearly. “The child will have our surname and it’s out of debate.”

Rin bit his teeth together. “It’s MY child…”

“Oh, you have a lot to learn, kid.” Takeshi smiled, and Rin felt small. “But it’s okay, because as soon as you are healed nothing stops you from finally receiving relevant training.”

“I don’t want…”

“But you will,” Takeshi’s words cut the air again. “You, darling, need to realise finally that becoming part of this family, which you have chosen to do, isn’t just taking the pretty and refusing the ugly. You take both. And you will either abide the rules or leave.”

Rin was fuming early, the hormones and power he felt since giving birth quickly disappearing, suddenly not a father of a child but a child in a room full of dangerous men who’d jump to end his life at a snap of the boss’ fingers. The boss, his father-in-law, whose eyes were burning, the slight sympathy he saw once gone.

Sousuke who was looking at the ground and the gang starring at Rin with sudden lack of trust, made him feel suffocated. Rin’s breath hitched and he gave the child to Sousuke, standing up quickly and leaving. Sousuke shocked, lost and confused stood up and gave his father the kid to run after him.

“Nice one, grandpa.” Nobu sighed.

James scooted closer to Takeshi who put the child more comfortably in his arm and stroked her cheek.

“I don’t have time for bullshit anymore.” Takeshi smiled at her as the corners of little mouth lifted up.

“Bitch got told.” James coughed in his hand.

“Can’t believe he actually left the kid after this, though.” Iwao shook his head. He always tried to not get involved in Takeshi’s family drama, so his thoughts about Rin he kept to himself, but he never really liked the kid either and so wasn’t surprised Takeshi did not trust him.

Takeshi knew people better than anybody else.

“People never change.” Takeshi looked at her tiny face. She was going to be safe in his arms.

Isao watched him in silence, haven’t said much since they saw each other. There was no bad blood, not really, he was simply still too upset to act like everything was fine. He wasn’t surprised at Takeshi stopping the debate over the surname, the child needed his surname and that was it. Rin was a goddamn fool, and he was starting to not trust the kid himself. Maybe Takeshi wasn’t so wrong about him after all.

He hoped that that was it, the hatred created through the mistrust and Rin’s faults, Takeshi’s amazing intuition towards people, not jealousy.

The way he looked at the child and cradled it like his. Takeshi lost his baby and wished for one since. Could he really…

“She’s going to be a little heart breaker, won’t she?” Kin grinned bent over the sofa to see over Takeshi’s shoulder.

“I wonder who she will take after.” Akira grinned.

“With their luck, after grandpa.” James laughed and they joined him, control lost as seriously as they tried to take the situation.

**

Takeshi walked through the huge business tower, shoes making a clicking noise on the white, shiny marble floor, he wrapped in a black thin coat tied around his waist, hood covering his face easily. Going past the reception he went straight to the gold lift and pulled his hands out of the pockets to put the card in the slot under buttons to each level.

The lift took him to the highest room and once opened he walked out to face a long corridor filled with flowers and portraits on both sides, black carpet in the middle, white marble visible as it did not reach the walls.

Shiro Takara shone in gold written on the door at the end of the corridor.

Takeshi knocked and a lady opened the door, looking at him confused. He wasn’t surprised she did not recognise him, because neither he recognised her. She had to be new.

“Yes?” she asked encased in a smart suit, blonde curly hair soft on her shoulders.

“Takeshi Yamazaki to Shiro Takara.”

“Appointment?” Stressed she looked through her diary, hands shaking.

Takeshi sighed to himself, trying to not become annoyed. But his patience was thin especially in such situations.

“He doesn’t need an appointment, let the devil in.” Shiro’s voice rang behind her and she quickly moved to the side, now scared. Takeshi nearly laughed. Where the hell Shiro got her from? “And you can leave, that’s it for today.”

Takeshi stepped inside, the man at the end of the room by the window, night outside. He was sat by his huge mahogany desk, a small golden lamp on the top of it. On Takeshi’s left there were bookcases, on the right an open fireplace and black leather sofas. The room was kept in dark colours.

The man, maybe a lawyer, a businessman, a rich man if he had enough money to buy the top floor. All of the top floor. But Takeshi knew he did not make money on innocent business.

Nobody this rich did.

“Takeshi.” He smiled, a glass filled with whisky in his hand. He was young, Takeshi’s age, maybe a little older. Too young for this much money, like all of them.

Black short hair smoothed to the back, his body encased in a black suit and tie, white shirt. Handsome, dark eyes cunning.

Body full of tattoos, many belonging to Yakuza, hidden underneath the smart outfit.

To others: a fantastic criminal lawyer. To them: a lawyer taking care of their dirtiest businesses.

And a boss of human trafficking.

One of the few who ever managed to make Takeshi’s knees go a little weak.

“Shiro.” Once the lady left, Takeshi took off the hood and made his way to the chair opposite the man.

“It’s been a while.” He cocked his head, putting the glass down as Takeshi sat down, every move carefully watched. “Trouble in paradise?”

Takeshi grinned, smile as white as his. Shiro’s eyes were hungry as always, so everything was well.

“A lot has happened, so I did not have time to visit.”

“Of course.”

Takeshi chuckled. “Who’s responsible for trafficking children these days?”

He did not move, eyes darkening as his mouth twisted in a smirk. “Why are you interested?”

Takeshi smiled. “Because I’m curious.” He blinked innocently.

“You know I can’t tell you anything about my clients.”

“I’m sure you can tell me something if you only wanted to.” Takeshi put his hands on the desk and bent a little, to move closer to his face. Shiro did the same and their noses nearly touched.

“What will I get in return?”

Takeshi hummed, pulling away and he stood up to slowly walk around the desk, grabbing the whisky on the way. He sat on the top of the desk right in front of Shiro, took a sip and licked his lips.

“You always knew the good stuff.”

Shiro did not say anything, slowly taking him in and his eyes moved up his legs, reaching the uncovered thigh as part of the coat slipped off it. Takeshi wasn’t wearing pants. He was wearing stockings.

Fucking stockings and a black dress barely covering his ass, the naked skin between them visible.

Shiro looked to the side and bit his knuckles to calm himself down.

He should have guessed from the thigh high shoes.

Shiro wasn’t to be played again though. He was going to run this game, take control of it at least this one time. When Takeshi put the glass down, Shiro stood up and moved between his legs, grabbing him underneath his knees and pulling him swiftly forward until Takeshi had to support himself with his hands to not fall backwards.

“What do you need this info for?” Shiro asked, leaning over him, hands comfortably on the table trapping Takeshi between his arms.

Takeshi straightened his back, lifting himself up, but not pushing him away. “Because I need to reach them,” he whispered in his ear.

“And why is that?” Hand touched the uncovered skin of his leg, slowly inching higher underneath the dress.

“They want me dead, Shiro.”

Shiro stopped, hand around the top of Takeshi’s thigh. Eyes quickly switched back to Takeshi’s face. “So you do know who they are.”

“I know they’re the gang my father got rid of a long time ago and now they’re back for revenge. They tried to kill me a few times already, so it would be pretty helpful to know who the people are or at least where their business is.” Takeshi kept his legs around him, hands reaching the tie and teasingly wrapping it around his wrist, pulling Shiro so he’d look him straight in the eyes. “So I can catch them first.”

“They paid me quite well.” He smiled, reaching Takeshi’s waist to untie his coat.

“I will pay double.”

Shiro hummed, helping the coat slide off his arms, leaving them naked, tattoos perfectly visible. “You seem in a rush to get them.” Fingers slid down the thin arm.

Takeshi did not say anything, letting him, cocking his head.

Shiro smiled, putting his hands down on each side of his body. “I will tell you whatever you want, but you will tell me what’s happening to you.”

Takeshi chuckled and lay down, now the man hovering over him between his legs.

“I am dying.”

Shiro wasn’t surprised, but his look hardened. “Healable?”

“Doesn’t seem so.”

“I know a lot of fantastic doctors, Takeshi.”

He smiled hearing his own name. “Me too.”

“How much you’ve got left?”

“Not too long.”

Now Shiro’s lips twisted in a sad smile. Before he could say something that would ruin the atmosphere completely, Takeshi caught the tie and pulled Shiro down until his hips were snug against his, their foreheads touching, a gasp escaping Shiro’s mouth.

Game over.

“I want to know everything,” Takeshi whispered against his lips.

**

“So what’s her name?” Kisumi asked.

Whole gang was back in the living room of Takeshi’s mansion, Kisumi interested in the babygirl that Sousuke brought with himself, apparently so Rin could catch a little bit of sleep, and the boys checking out the information Takeshi put in front of them.

“We’re fighting with Rin over it, that’s why she still hasn’t got one.” Sousuke rolled his eyes. “He loves those stupid American names, wants to name her after some fucking objects.”

“Huh?” They looked up confused.

“Like… Apple. Or Flower. Says it sounds cool because it’s in English, but…”

“Sayomi.” Takeshi said quietly, not speaking much since he came back in the early morning. He was lying across the armchair, legs dangling over the arm. He wrapped himself in a big sweater, put a beanie on his head, high thick socks, and still hasn’t looked at anybody.

“Little night beauty.” James cooed.

“American name won’t go through in Yakuza,” Nobu spoke up seriously. “Sorry.”

“I like Sayomi.” Sousuke looked at his little girl. “I won’t let you be called an Apple, as much as I like them.” He stroked her cheek.

Kisumi laughed and quickly put his hand over his mouth, not wanting to wake her up. He was happy seeing that she wore an outfit from him, the white band with a flower on top was especially pretty on her pink hair.

James slapped Takeshi’s thigh making him move up on the armchair so he could sit in the front on the edge. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Hangover,” Takeshi murmured, keeping his eyes closed.

Nalin came back from the kitchen with a cold wet cloth and put it on his forehead, receiving a thankful sigh in return. James snorted but then quickly straightened up.

“Wait, you went to a party without me?!” He put his hand on his heart disturbed.

“Not a party.”

“You drank to your reflection?”

“No. Stop talking to me,” Takeshi whined and pressed the cloth harder to his forehead.

James tried to not look over at Isao but he could not help it, and his sore face ensured him they were not out together. Uh. Oh.

James knew that Takeshi could be a right cunt when he was pissed off. While James wasn’t a fan of Isao, he knew how much Takeshi actually loved him and even Isao had his borders, so he really hoped Takeshi did not majorly fuck up. But there was a reason why he went alone.

Takeshi wouldn’t be THAT mad over Isao saying stupid shit though.

“Since you woke up maybe you will tell us what you want to do?” Nobu asked.

“Go after them when they will show up…” Takeshi pressed his fingers to his eyes.

“Who?”

“Me.”

They looked at each other quickly.

“I will be fine.” Takeshi said not needing to look at them to know.

“You can’t go alone anyway.” Iwao shook his head.

“It will be me and one or two more people, we will be unnoticeable and see where they take us. Hopefully we will have a chance to see the boss or bosses, and their place, maybe even inside.”

“Who?”

Takeshi hummed. “I will think about it over Christmas.”

“Holy shit, it’s nearly Christmas.” James looked at him surprised. “What are the plans? Am I invited? Hey, boob?”

Takeshi smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! Thank you so much to everybody who reads, likes, reblogs, comments, tags, messages me, subscribes, gives kudos, subscriptions, let others know about the fic... everything :D
> 
> This is Shiro:  
> 


	60. Losing it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only the ending result matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 60th chapter!  
> Over 7.300 words, it's been a while since the chapter was so long. But consider it a present.  
> [NSFW warning]  
> Enjoy!

It was a beautiful day, sun shining warming up cold cheeks. Rin and his mother walked in the park, pushing the pram with the little girl inside wrapped in a thick blanket.

“Sayomi is a beautiful name.” She smiled, sunglasses on her face. “Here I will actually agree with Sousuke, since when are you a fan of those American names anyway?”

“I just did not want them to make a choice again.”

“They did not, it was Sousuke’s choice.”

Rin snorted. “A night beauty? You really think Sousuke came up with that?”

She sighed. “Let that man name the girl…”

Rin looked away. His mother knew he poisoned Takeshi to try to get Haru out. She was the one who called the gang to tell that Takeshi was leaving the hospital, so they could shoot to him in the car. Now she felt guilty?

The gang did not free Haru as they promised, but they did say he was kept safe and nothing bad was happening to him. They could not release him yet, it would be too dangerous and Takeshi could figure out that he was the traitor.

“Speak of the devil,” his mother murmured, and Rin quickly followed her eyes.

Takeshi was standing quite far away from them, by the lake with swans swimming freely on it. A man who

Rin could not recognise was with him, tall and strongly built, black hair smoothed to the back and sunglasses covering his face. He was dressed in black, suit perfectly crafted for him, and had a big gold ring on his finger.

“Do you know him?”

“No, never seen him before.” Rin kept on starring curiously.

Takeshi was quite tall, but he was slim so he looked a lot smaller, the thick long shawl wrapped around his arms seemed more like a fashion accessory than something to keep him from getting cold. Both men looked out of place dressed elegantly in a park full of children.

“Handsome.” She eyed him interested. “Your father-in-law doesn’t look sick.”

“Sousuke hasn’t said anything, I don’t think they told him.” Rin was confused. Maybe the poison did not work?

“Well, look at it.” They both gasped in shock when they noticed the man giving Takeshi some documents and after swiftly grasping him by the front of the coat tied tightly around his waist. When he pulled him and Takeshi fell into his arms easily, Rin was ensured he tried to kiss him on the lips, but Takeshi moved his head quickly to the side, so the man’s lips ended up on his cheek, smirk quickly twisting them. He mouthed something, to their surprise making Takeshi laugh, head thrown back in delight. Takeshi patted his cheek and left soon after as the man finished his cigarette and later followed.

“What are you doing?” Rin’s mother asked him shocked when she saw the phone in his hand.

“I took a picture!” He felt proud. Whoever that man was, the gang would definitely want to know! And if not, he could always have something that Takeshi definitely would not like Isao to see.

“Son, I love you, but if you will try to blackmail Takeshi…”

“Why not!” Rin felt as if someone popped his balloon of proudness.

“Darling, please do not forget who he is. We have done more than enough already, if he’d ever find out…” She closed her eyes for a moment, an invisible hand squeezing her heart. “Going straight to him and trying to blackmail… he will kill you.”

Rin hid the phone. Maybe she was right. But he was not going to delete the picture. The gang would find it useful. He did not really have the guts to go to Takeshi himself anyway.

“I wonder who that was…?” he said quietly. “Such a loyal family, aren’t they all.” He shook his head. The only thought that was keeping him from hating them all fully was their loyalty to each other.

Everything was bullshit.

He did not know how hypocritical he was being.

**

“Shush, Ren.” Kisumi forced the boy to sit in front of him, finally catching him free. Since he saw him, he completely fell for him. Okay, not for him, but for his hair.

Florist family was blessed with the best hair he had ever seen in his life and while he did not have the guts to ask Nalin if he could play with his, he surely did not feel scared of his son.

“But I don’t want purple hair!” He whined, sat on the carpet in the living room, Kisumi hovering over him on the sofa.

“It will be just a very light shadow. It will look fantastic.” Kisumi put the dye on the coffee table and wrapped Ren in a towel so it would not drop on his clothes.

Nalin watched them amused, sitting on the opposite sofa.

“Thank fuck I have pitch black hair.” Sousuke was sat by the bar separating the living room from the kitchen, Takeshi in its corner, a mug with hot soup in his hands.

He did not sleep well the previous night, stricken with nightmares of all the possible ways he could leave this world. The nightmares were getting worse and more frequent recently. It wasn’t his upcoming death that terrified him. He was never scared of death. And maybe because his mind was so aware of it, his nightmares were always about others.

Isao sitting by his hospital bed, Takeshi long time unconscious, exhausted and underweight, no hair, nor colour in his face, taking his last breaths through white chapped lips. Pain of loss shaking Isao’s body, tears no longer held back.

Or Takeshi, skinny and sick, fighting with the gang, everybody celebrating as they won and then him looking at all of them, smiling, leaving them happy and fulfilled and safe… knowing once he would lie down on his bed and fall asleep, he would never wake up again. And they would find him and break.

Or all of them in the living room, Takeshi on the sofa, so ill, so small, some IVs attached to his arms, head wrapped in a shawl, face whiter than the fresh pillows. Isao holding his hand, Sousuke sitting by his head, Nalin behind, James with his arm wrapped around him…

Their faces, so broken, tired, tears on their cheeks.

All of them watching his body being taken away, then a very quiet funeral, and finally every single one of them, on their own, starring at the wall or floor, not knowing what to do next.

And it was ridiculous really, because Takeshi always felt that even if hurt they would move on, but whenever he dreamed they did not because it hurt too much. He wasn’t as sick as a few weeks ago to still believe they did not care one bit.

But people die. Others move on.

Maybe he just did not want to die…? Maybe this was ironically self-indulgent? Was he really that selfish?

No…

“You okay, dad?” Sousuke poked him in his knee. He looked tired himself, not surprising considering he had an infant at home, but his eyes were bright from laughing. “You’re quiet today.”

“Yeah, just tired.” He smiled, jokingly kicking Sousuke’s chair. “Sayomi, then?”

“Yes.” Sousuke nodded. “So we christen her on Christmas?”

“The priest agreed.”

“Don’t you think it is a bit weird that we all go to church on Christmas? Well, at all?” Sousuke looked at him confused.

Takeshi snorted. “The public is meant to think we’re good people. All of us go to this specific church, all of us christen our children there… it is a show. Plus we treat it as a little celebration of our own, a new child in Yakuza, first initiation…There’s going to be lots of gangsters on that day, watching.”

“A show for the public, a secret celebration for our own?”

“Ah. Yes. What matters the most is who you are going to choose as her second parents.” Takeshi straightened up. Everything was a show. Some of them were actually religious, like Nobu, but Takeshi never was. However, with being on constant watch, considered influential and owner of many businesses, he had to seem like an appropriate, perfect with even better morals businessman.

Showing up at church said enough to the gullible.

To them it was Yakuza initiation. The boss’ grandchild, held in his arms, initiated for the first time.

This was huge.

Mostly he cared about who were going to be Sayomi’s godparents, though. It was quite an important aspect in every family, but especially in such as theirs.

People chosen for the job were meant to take care of the baby if something happened to their parents. And this wasn’t just a saying. The probability of parents dying was huge in their case and in result the importance of godparents.

“Kisumi?” Sousuke mouthed to him, hoping the boy won’t hear. But Kisumi was laughing loudly, pulling all of Ren’s hair up using the dyer. Ren did not seem so mad anymore, now taking selfies with Kisumi, both making stupid faces to the camera.

Nalin looked slightly terrified realising his son was bonding with Isao’s.

“I approve.” Takeshi smiled. “Rin agreed?”

Sousuke shrugged. “He wasn’t mad about my choice.”

“What’s going on with that kid, hmm?”

“I wish I knew, dad.” Sousuke stood up and went to the fridge to get something to eat. “Christ, you actually have food since more people live here!”

Takeshi rolled his eyes. “Have you started your training yet?”

“Yeah, had two sessions already. That trainer is really good.” Sousuke grinned, sitting back by Takeshi with sandwich in his hand. “Thanks, dad. You know, it seems I really will swim in the upcoming Olympics.” There were so many things happening lately that suddenly the Olympics weren’t his priority. But being back in the swimming pool, having the trainer shouting at him, pushing him so hard… He was back living his dream and realised how much he had missed it.

“You’re welcome.” They were quiet for a few moments, lost in their thoughts. Takeshi was proud of Sousuke, and happy that he could do something he simply wanted, instead of being forced to do mafia jobs. Sousuke never ever complained about being part of mafia, and Takeshi believed he really did not mind and accepted his future, but Takeshi just wanted him to be a boy deciding at least certain aspects of it sometimes.

“So… do you think Yori will finally show up?” Sousuke asked quietly.

Takeshi chuckled. “I think she will. But what do I know about her, really…” Yori was and always was going to be a traitor. Maybe she had her reasons. Maybe they were enough. But she was always going to be his daughter, too. And he hoped she would show up, see her brother’s daughter, the brother who had done so much for her, and spend the Christmas with them.

Did she really want to be alone?

Florist wasn’t there to save her anymore.

And frankly, Takeshi was starting to worry something might happen to her. While everybody knew how twisted their relationship was, nobody could guarantee that the gang wouldn’t reach her to have his fatherly instincts kick in and save her from them. For a price.

He wanted his daughter to be safe.

**

When his father went upstairs, telling that he has some documents to fill in, Sousuke knew that he actually went to get some sleep. He really did not look good, pale and weakened, not even touching the soup he made himself.

He hoped it was just a cold.

When someone knocked on the door he quickly went to open it, and his jaw dropped when he saw none other than… Yori.

“Yori!” Sousuke could not help the smile lifting the corners of his lips. They stopped communicating a while ago, Sousuke refused to trust her anymore, and she never showed up when his father, or even he, was sick. But she was his sister…

“Hey, brother.” She did not look as happy as him. Far from it.

But she looked good. Dressed smartly, her beautiful, black as night and straight hair touching the middle of her back. It was difficult to compare the daughter to the father, but the black eyes and smirk were the same.

Nalin walked up to them and sighed seeing her. “If you only came to bring them trouble…” He did understand why Yori turned against Takeshi, theoretically she had her right considering that he wasn’t the most attentive father. Okay. Maybe betraying for just being a crap father and that betraying in the big way, wasn’t exactly a sufficient reason in his opinion. But no matter what happened before, and how much Yori felt hurt, Takeshi paid enough over only the past few weeks. And the fact that he was so badly sick now… he really did not need a traitor of a daughter making everything worse.

Nalin did not trust her. Once a traitor, always a traitor.

“I was invited.”

“I know you were.” Nalin learned how to deal with her a long time ago. Sousuke seemed surprised by how he was speaking to her. “That does not change anything.”

“I will behave.” She rolled her eyes. It was difficult looking into Takeshi’s eyes when they were so arrogant. It wasn’t that Takeshi did not know how to be an arrogant jerk, but he had power and brains to back it up with. Yori was mostly childish attitude ensured she has it all. “Where’s my... father, then, or is he too afraid to speak to me?” She snorted.

Nalin usually was a calm person, but the look he gave her, the amount of disdain in it was enough to shut her up. “I would be very careful with how you speak to your father.”

They let her in, and her jaw dropped seeing her boyfriend with dyer all over his hair, Kisumi sitting behind him, watching her curiously. “What are you doing?”

“I was attacked, taken against my will, and forced to suffer through this.” Ren answered seriously.

Sousuke and Kisumi snorted, but they all quickly turned towards the stairs, hearing Takeshi’s soft laugh.

“Well, well…” He crossed his arms over his chest, and Sousuke realised that he was listening for a while, definitely getting himself ready. He did not look tired anymore but wide awake, dressed smartly seemingly ready to go out for business related purposes. And somehow Yori’s arrogant face was gone, in his presence her self esteem dropping. “Hello, daughter.”

“Father,” she said trying to smile, mouth in a thin line.

“Have you decided whether you are staying for Christmas?” he asked her, voice emotionless.

“Yes, I am.”

Nalin scratched his neck, feeling the thickening situation suffocating him.

“Come on, then, I will show you where Ren is staying, since he’s a little unavailable at the moment.” He cocked his eyebrow at Kisumi who went bright red, hoping no one else noticed.

“I was abducted.” Ren pointed at Kisumi.

“Shut up or I will tell everyone purple colour was your idea,” Kisumi snorted.

“Shush!”

“I don’t care as long as you don’t get this crap on my white carpets.” Takeshi quickly slid his finger across his throat, the point clear.

**

Apart from being pulled by her father on the side and threatened that if she will try shit, he will end her, not much happened that day. Well, she met her brother’s daughter and found out that if her father only wants to, he can be the sweetest of them all.

It was weird watching them all. She recognised most of the gang, mainly from faces, she knew more about them through contacts and Florist than personally. They were all acting like a family, and she knew Isao was quite a nice person, but seeing her father laughing and joking, smiling as Akira and James hanged on him, teasing Isao and sharing quick kisses, being so careful and so much love in his eyes when holding the little girl…

Who was he?

When Yori went to Florist hoping to get back at her father, the last thing she expected was to end up backstabbed. Never she’d imagine Florist eating out of her father’s hand, but here they were, acting like the best of friends. Nalin was different, too, completely unrecognizable, seemingly relaxed and more talkative. She remembered him as a man she barely saw, plotting how to make Takeshi’s life hell.

Or maybe it was never what it was about.

Maybe she was a fool for being filled with anger instead of thinking rationally. If she was jealous of anything, it was her father’s cold calculation.

And she watched him now, so fucking sweet letting Isao, who was standing behind him, wrap his strong arms around him, kissing his neck, turning to kiss him, hands in the air dirty from the dough he was making with James.

Ah, didn’t her father always collect all the pretty boys… She wondered if they knew.

She tried not to laugh when Rin came home, her brother smiling bright at him, yet Takeshi’s smile fake and cold. Yori wasn’t sure if the fool could spot it, but she was glad her father was just honest with her, did not pretend, instead of having him look at her in such way.

“Rin, this is Yori. Yori, this is Rin.” Sousuke had Sayomi in his arms so he stayed sat by her since the beginning and did not move even now. Rin smiled uncomfortably and quickly sat by him, stealing the little girl out of his arms.

Yori tried not to laugh. What a fucking pussy, no wonder her father hated him. Unless her father already knew…

Hmm.

**

A week before the christening everything was prepared. Takeshi dropped on the wooden patio in the back of the house, lied down and looked up at the stars. He was knackered.

Every celebration takes a lot of time, so in their case each takes three times more. He had to ensure there would be enough bodyguards, everybody important was invited, had a specific sit, enough food, alcohol, drinks, parking spaces, everything on time, everybody informed of everything, security…

It really was a huge show.

He could feel his muscles aching from exhaustion. Usually he would not be feeling this badly…

Takeshi smiled hearing recognisable to him footsteps, the person quickly lied down by him and kissed him on the lips.

He did not even open his eyes, he kissed those lips so often he knew exactly who they belonged to, so he just let himself be pulled into protective arms until he was lying over Isao, kisses deepening, legs intertwining.

Isao smiled when Takeshi just put his cheek on his chest and relaxed, ready to fall asleep. And he did, seconds later, complete trust, knowing he would keep him safe.

Takeshi would never fall asleep on his own, or with people he would not fully trust, even in his own garden.

Isao continued stroking his hair until his breathing evened out and he knew Takeshi was deep asleep. But when he moved his hand to lift Takeshi, he felt something in it. He froze as he saw the black hair that easily fell out, and instead of picking Takeshi up, he brought his arms tightly around him again.

He starred at the stars for a long time, listening to his heartbeat.

**

“Hey, pinky boy.”

Rin jumped terrified. It was a late night when he went to the kitchen to get some milk to try to help himself fall asleep. Since he poisoned Takeshi he was terrified and nightmares filled his dreams. He didn’t know why, he hated the man, but everything could go so wrong…

Did the poison work? How was it really supposed to work? He did not even know. What if Takeshi already knew? What if he knew Rin poisoned him? Would he kill him?

He did not care about the man, but he feared for his own life.

“Jesus, I can’t believe they recruited such a pussy like you.” Yori rolled her eyes.

It seemed she did not even go to sleep, full make up and outfit on, hand around a cup of hot chocolate. Rin could remember when Sousuke told him that when Takeshi was home, or they were together cruising or at a hotel, he did make them hot chocolate whenever they could not sleep.

As much as she hated her father, she could not help what he got her used to. Rin wanted to laugh.

“I’m not working for Yakuza,” he spat, walking towards the fridge, looking for milk.

“I wasn’t talking about Yakuza.” She smiled, the irony obvious in her voice as she lifted the cup.

Rin stopped bent reaching the drink. He could feel his heart beat harder, the freezing air from the fridge not helping with breathing. He slowly straightened up, closed the fridge and turned around to face her, but she was still sat with her back to him, her feet dangling like little’s girl.

“What do you mean?”

It took her a few seconds to turn around. She just smiled.

Oh God.

**

Shiro standing by bookshelves looked at Takeshi sitting on his desk, feet dangling as he held the cigarette in his mouth. He wasn’t starring at him, but outside the window, mind far away from this place.

He was used to Takeshi running away to him when he needed a distraction or for Shiro to do something for him. Nobody knew of their relationship, so he was surprised that Takeshi showed up with him publicly. But it had a purpose and considering Takeshi was ensured of his own upcoming death, it clearly did not matter to him anymore whether they would be busted in result.

Nothing seemed to matter to him anymore, but ensuring everything will be sorted for Sousuke to become a boss without trouble. If Takeshi could do it, he would wipe the world out of all possible problems, so Sousuke could just sit on a throne and do nothing, and never fear a thing.

It was impossible, but he wasn’t surprised Takeshi was doing as much as possible, thinking of family first. He always thought of everybody but himself.

It’s been a while since he had Takeshi all for himself, since the guy started sorting out his life, opening up to people again, and as expected finally hooked up with Isao and even engaged, so Shiro did not expect to see him again.

It was sort of disappointing to always have Iwao knock on his doors.

It all began with Shiro finding out about Takeshi mainly from stories that were often untrue, and from seeing him at parties. Shiro was a student, thousands of books falling on his head, so he was running away to clubs that Takeshi often occupied. Isao was always by his side, and everybody knew Takeshi was completely in love with him, and vice versa. Umiko was by Takeshi’s side in public, all proper, a beautiful couple.

He always thought she was just a cover.

Then with Umiko’s death, and later his father’s, suddenly Takeshi disappeared only to re-appear as unrecognizable monster who everybody was terrified of speaking to. But within years he had everybody under his thumb, gang forming, best of the best recruited… He beat everybody and became the boss of all of Yakuza.

Shiro was young, but always good at his job. He knew he would go far, recruited or not. And he did, his office was the most prestigious and he handled the most dangerous cases. Takeshi made him their lawyer, and as Shiro got involved, soon he took care of the trafficking and became its boss, since it was based on law and he was needed a lot. If Yakuza needed people, they went to him too. Takeshi did not have a problem with him taking over, enough of businesses on his head already.

Even if Shiro would lose trafficking and many cases, so a lot of money, by ending up on Takeshi’s bad side, because he heard enough stories about what happens to people who do, he would still be a highly valued lawyer.

Well, or he would be dead.

But his self-sufficiency and Takeshi’s certain dependency on him was respected by Takeshi.

Shiro was fascinated by and respected what Takeshi was capable of accomplishing when everybody was against him, finding it, simply saying, sexy as fuck. Takeshi was this enigma, the mystery everybody wanted to understand, strip the mask off and see the real him again.

Or was the new him, the real him?

He was so smart, so interesting, so influential, terrifying and powerful, had to know so many secrets as the boss…

Plus he was gorgeous.

Shiro did not know then that Takeshi had an eye on him too.

A few meetings, a few signed documents, finally just the two of them drinking more than enough and completely forgetting themselves. Both single then, looking just for sex with people they found hot.

Takeshi was incapable of seeing Isao as only that.

Isao meant serious. Isao meant love. Isao meant memories. Isao meant dreams.

That’s why then it couldn’t have been him.

Their relationship was always purely sex. Shiro never wanted love and family, he was too busy with business and he enjoyed his single life. He could do whatever he wanted, go wherever, come back whenever… sleep with whoever.

Takeshi had a fucked up life he wanted to forget sometimes, run away from those he loved but hurt to keep away from him. He knew Shiro would make him lose it, forget, and he would never want anything in return. Both knew their relationship would stay a secret, they respected each other enough, and nobody would fall in love and want more.

This knowledge made them feel safe.

Shiro did not have an issue with Takeshi using sex as a bargain, as long as they both enjoyed it. Plus Shiro was sure that again he was running away from people who loved him and wanted to take care of him. No, Takeshi probably would not be here if not the situation, considering he was engaged to Isao.

But the situation made him beg for someone who would not love him, not care for him, not treat him like a dear, breakable, most precious beautiful doll. They all did, and he understood why. That’s what loved ones should do. But it was so Takeshi’s style to run away from it into his arms, begging for him to make him forget. And he always did.

Here he did not need to think about dying. He could be strong and perfectly fine, nothing triggering the emotions he was trying to hide so badly.

They always used each other. Shiro did not mind as long as he had a good time out of it. Besides, Takeshi was always an appreciated company.

And he was pretty to look at.

Who was Shiro to give him moral advice? If he were dying and had whole mafia family to take care of, he would sort out everything for them no matter how, too. Actually, he would be partying and fucking around not caring about anybody, probably. Takeshi deserved the distraction.

Takeshi was a mafia boss, not a goodie two shoes whose priority should be morals. When Isao had to screw someone on the side, he did too.

In their world there was love and there was sex. Not always together. Loyalty often excluded sex, but never love.

Meeting with someone on the side and telling them how much you loved them while having a partner waiting for you unaware was one thing, being loyal and fucking on the side for business or similar was another.

As long as there was no love, there was no trouble.

**

Shiro sat by him, placing his feet on the chair. “I’m not really used to you all quiet.” He was terrified of the prospect of having deep conversations with Takeshi, to be fair.

Takeshi turned his head towards him, the smoke escaping his mouth. “Didn’t want to distract you.”

“Since when?”

He laughed, lying down on the desk, cig between his fingers as he rubbed his eyes. That thick jumper and messy hair theoretically did not really scream ‘fuck me’, but Shiro wouldn’t mind grabbing those long legs and wrapping them around his hips anyway.

Shiro lied down himself.

“What if Isao is going to find out?”

“He won’t.”

“How would you describe us, though?” Shiro wasn’t sure why he was digging into this subject. But they needed to decide on one story just in case. Hey, he could end up getting punched in the face or murdered by Isao… He saved that guy’s ass not once too, so he knew what he did to people who pissed him off.

Takeshi looked to the side and Shiro regretted starting. From this close Takeshi looked sick. So that’s why he ran away again.

“I will tell him the truth,” Takeshi said quietly.

Shiro was silent for a moment. “You want him to kick your ass.” Of course he did. Shiro laughed to himself. What a man does when he gets deathly sick and what he cares about the most is his family’s pain?

Makes them hate him.

“You think he will leave you, stop suffering, not care about your death, if you will tell him we fucked. Actually, you will probably tell him you’ve been seeing me for ages, are completely in love with me, and have been playing him all this time, as cruelly as possible so he will be glad you are dying, won’t you?” He saw Takeshi in court. Whatever Shiro told him to do, act desperate, sorry, happy, broken, even shed a tear or two – Takeshi did it all. He was an amazing actor. And he knew Isao loved Takeshi beyond anything, so he needed to be cruel beyond anything to actually push him away.

He would not say; “I screwed him to get information”, not “it was just sex”, neither “I am terrified and he was my distraction”, never “I only love you”.

Takeshi was a fucking idiot.

“You know his contract says he has to die if he will fail me,” Takeshi whispered.

“Your poisoning isn’t his failure.”

“He doesn’t care. When I die, he won’t want to live without me.” Seeing Takeshi’s jaw shaking for a moment made Shiro freeze.

Please don’t cry.

He did not, instead lifted himself up into a sitting position, shoulders dropped. Shiro sighed to himself, wondering why he was putting so much weight on them. His priority should be saving himself, and, fine, sorting out business for his son just in case. Family was important and Takeshi was a good boss.

But, no, he was also trying to take control of everything that was going to happen and what could possibly happen after his death. Even people’s feelings.

Jesus.

Shiro sat up. “You can’t help what others will feel, Takeshi. Even if you somehow would manage to make them all hate you…” He shook his head. “They would always remember the years they loved you. And imagine one day they would find out this was all a game, and they’d know they hated you when you needed them the most…” Did he forget how they all stayed by his side through years of him acting like a cold bastard? They always saw through him, this is why he was running away from them again.

Takeshi growled frustrated. “I came to you to not listen to the bullshit they all would tell me, and you…”

“Okay, okay…” Shiro lifted up his hands in defence, hearing the upcoming angry rant. He was failing his role. “I will shut up. I just wanted you to know that you are being an idiot. Like a good friend would tell you. Or fuck-buddy. Whatever.” He shrugged.

“I’m just trying to do what’s best.” Takeshi smiled a little, clearly exhausted after a long day. Or maybe that was it, just him slowly getting weaker.

Was this how it was going to be? He will watch him every few days, every time thinner, weaker… He felt like he was noticing changes already.

Shiro cringed and Takeshi turned to look at him surprised. He did not say anything, just grabbed his arm and pulled until Takeshi sat comfortably on his lap, hands on his shoulders.

Distraction. He was great at it. 

“It is quite ridiculous you still turn me on looking like this.”

“Wow, thanks asshole.”

Shiro grinned. “That was meant to sound more like a compliment.”

“This is why nobody likes you.”

“Wow, thanks asshole.” Shiro mocked his voice.

“At least now I know I don’t need to try.” Takeshi smirked and slid off his lap to stand up. Shiro straightened up and watched interested as he took the huge jumper off, eyebrows furrowing when he saw a black, slightly shiny shirt underneath. His unasked question got answered when Takeshi looked into his eyes and started shimming out of the tight jeans, and the unrevealed, freed shirt slowly encased his naked thighs.

“You fucking tease.” Shiro bit his lip. He had this freaking dress underneath all this bloody time.

“I wanted to talk, couldn’t let your brain shut down too early.” Takeshi smiled very proud of himself.

Shiro laughed quietly, voice deepening as he slid off the table and walked up to Takeshi, knowing he won’t take a step back just from his presence, so he pushed him lightly until his back touched the wall. With a smirk he pressed his body against his, earning a gasp, and he grasped Takeshi’s chin so he’d look up at him.

“I’d watch your attitude if I were you,” he whispered again his lips.

“Boohoo, so scared.” The mocking tone rang in his ears, only making the dangerous smile widen.

Shiro grabbed his thin hands quickly and pressed above Takeshi’s head, forcing him to stand up on his toes. Takeshi stopped laughing, now focused, and Shiro kept a hold of his wrists in one strong hand, other slowly travelling down, touching his cheek, his lips, neck… through the soft, lightweight material encasing his body, until he reached the naked thigh, only to slowly slip underneath the dress to grab the panties and push them down his legs, leaving him with nothing but the dress on.

Takeshi was cold, so cold and calculated, but he could feel his breathing hitching just a little. Free hand on Takeshi’s hip, he bent to his ear.

“Spread your legs.”

He did, only after Shiro squeezed his hip and wrists harder, Takeshi’s back arching against his will, giving in.

Shiro caught his lips in a kiss, hand reaching between his legs easily at the same time. He loved Takeshi moaning, eyes closing letting him do whatever he wanted, only caring about pleasure.

It was such a power play, such a satisfaction having the boss shivering under your touch.

Shiro let his wrists go so Takeshi could wrap his hands around his neck, knowing he won’t try anything anymore, his will to play over. Now Takeshi just wanted him between his legs.

Shiro wasn’t sure whether he preferred him moaning in his mouth, or head thrown back in pleasure, eyes closed, or maybe forehead pressed to his shoulder as he worked him with his fingers well enough to make Takeshi grab him like his life depended on it, because his knees became to weak to hold him up, just like now. Shiro caught him under them, lifted him easily and took to the sofa knowing he’d appreciate a soft surface under his back for once.

Shiro smiled when he laid him down and Takeshi’s legs stayed wrapped around him, hands unbuttoning his jeans quickly as Shiro took his own shirt off.

The satisfied, devilish look on Takeshi’s face once he got his cock out of his pants would make him laugh, if not the look he gave him after, moving back to give him more space, feet on the sofa, hands innocently on his chest and bent knees teasingly, slowly spreading in front of him again. He did not even care for him to take his dress off, now barely covering anything anyway.

“Fuck me.”

Make me forget.

Shiro did not need to be told twice, he really did not, but he loved teasing him as much as Takeshi loved teasing him. So he did take his time to strip Takeshi off the dress and slowly lied between his legs and bent to kiss him again, hand in his hair nearly soothing. But when the kiss ended, he brought his free hand up to Takeshi’s face, thumb stroking the bottom lip for a second, not letting Takeshi take his eyes off him. He patted two fingers against his lips.

“Get them nice and wet. I didn’t finish spreading you.”

Did he hear a whine?

His smirk deepened as Takeshi did as told, and he rewarded him with another kiss as his hand pushed his knee to the side to slip between his legs again, making sure to stroke the inner thigh along the way making him shiver.

Now he felt the whine against his mouth, Takeshi’s cheeks a sweet red, and after a few seconds satisfied Shiro could not help biting his throat as he entered him, Takeshi’s back arching, head thrown back as a gasp escaped his lips. He gave him a moment to catch his breath, let him wrap his arms and legs around him again, and Shiro started moving, his strong arms around Takeshi, lips sealed together in heated kisses as he quickened his thrusts.

He always had good sex with Takeshi, but when they came this time, Takeshi biting his shoulder to not scream as his nails dug in his back, Shiro pressing his face to his neck and the ‘fuck’ escaping his mouth nevertheless, he thought he never had better, both of them spent and shaking, breathing hard.

Usually it was a hot, quick fuck, often not even all of the clothes off. He wasn’t sure what happened today, but he did not move for a while realising Takeshi would not push him off either. 

Shiro did finally slip out of him trying to cause him as little discomfort as possible, knowing he would be sore. Takeshi did wince, eyes still closed so he moved from between his legs to the space by him, letting him curl up into a more comfortable position. Shiro caught the blanket thrown over the back of the sofa and brought over them, one arm supporting his head, other around Takeshi who turned on his side, back towards Shiro.

Slightly concerned, Shiro lifted himself a little to get a look at his face. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Takeshi chuckled quietly. “No, you fool.”

“Worried me there for a second.” He stroked his arm and then moved to his back, massaging it a little trying to bring him comfort.

“I will go in a moment, just let me calm down my breathing.” He tried to make it sound like a joke, but something in his voice made him wonder.

Takeshi did not want to leave.

“You can stay.” Shiro slapped him jokingly on the ass. “You’re the one usually rushing to leave.”

Takeshi moved onto his back, tugging the blanket higher.

“You want me to put the fire on?” Shiro asked, hovering over him.

A nod.

Shiro chuckled and grabbed the pilot from the coffee table and pressed a button. The screen placed opposite the sofas lightened up and a video of wood on fire showed up.

Takeshi deadpanned.

“What?” Shiro looked insulted. “We live in modern age. It works just like a real one.”

“This is why I am with Isao,” Takeshi murmured to himself.

“Oh, really? Is it because after you two make oh so romantic love he puts real wood into real fireplace, and lightens it up with real fire, all for you.”

Takeshi shrugged, trying not to laugh. “One of the reasons.”

“Disgusting.” Shiro put his arms behind his head, satisfied listening to the fake noise of cracking wood as the room became dark, the light of the fire casting shadows on the walls.

“Romance is dead.” Takeshi sighed and pulled himself up to put his head on his arm, curling up with his arm around Shiro’s chiselled chest.

“Look at you with all your true love struggling to keep yourself together, thinking and worrying about everybody and everything. Meanwhile all I have to think about is…” Shiro hummed, fingers stroking Takeshi’s back. “Oh. Absolutely nothing. So I will choose to focus on the fantastic sex I just had and you all beautiful still lying here naked. Lovely.” He closed his eyes with a smile on his face.

Takeshi rolled his eyes. “You will see why it is worth it in a few days.”

“You mean Christening?”

“Mhm.” Takeshi smiled and closed his eyes.

**

“Mom?!”

Isao learned to expect anything, but to see his mother in the morning, standing in the kitchen with Takeshi behind her putting her luggage down, was completely unexpected.

He smiled wide and quickly walked up to her to wrap his arms around her tightly.

“Oh boy, you are only getting stronger.” She patted him on the back, kissing his cheek.

“So what’s going on?” Isao grinned, eyes moving to Takeshi standing behind her with a devilish look on his face. “You imp. How could you not tell me?”

“It’s called a surprise, darling.” He was so pretty in the morning, eyes bright and body relaxed.

Isao’s mother stroked Takeshi’s cheek. “Takeshi invited me over so I could attend the Christening and spend Christmas with you. I need to meet my grand-granddaughter.” She put her hand on her chest. “Can’t believe how quickly the time flies, look at your young little face, to think you’re a granddad.” She stroked Takeshi’s cheek again, making him chuckle.

“Let mom choose a room, I will prepare breakfast.” Takeshi pushed the bag towards Isao who grabbed it quickly and gave his mom a hand.

*

As Takeshi finished putting plates on the table, warm bread and eggs, hams and cheeses, teas and coffees, he felt Isao’s arms wrapping around him from behind. He sighed when he kissed his neck and turned him to kiss on the lips, too.

“Thank you.”

“You really thought I won’t invite your mom for such a special day.” Takeshi touched his cheeks. “Sousuke asked me to, as well.”

“Did he?”

“Sousuke considers you his father. So your mother will always be his grandma. Of course he wants her here. Besides, for once we are preparing proper Christmas, aren’t we? She needs to be here,” he said like it was the most normal thing in the world. Because it was.

Isao did not need to say anything, Takeshi could just look into his warm, clever eyes and know. The appreciation, the love. Isao really shouldn’t be thankful for anything, but he was appreciating just being with him and Takeshi felt like he could never give him enough back.

It was killing him inside.

Isao deserved better than him yet he always kept by his side.

“I only want you.” Isao always knew what he was thinking. They all knew him better than he knew himself, but especially him. Often it saved his life, but it made him run away from them as much.

It was so stupid, so bloody stupid hating that people loved you. But he could not deal with it. He could not deal with them caring, loving, crying, worrying… He did not deserve it. He wanted them to ignore him. Focus on their lives.

Forget about him.

He did not deserve everything they were always giving him. It would be so much easier if they hated him. He only brought dark clouds with himself. Only brought them pain.

“I love you.” Isao’s soft voice again. “You’re everything to me, no matter what.”

Takeshi closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” Isao wrapped his arms tightly around him, kissing the side of his head.

Everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all subscriptions, comments, messages, kudos, likes and reblogs. It all makes the hard work worthwhile :)  
> Christening and Christmas in the next chapter :)  
> See you!
> 
> Edit: for those conflicted about Takeshi's choices or plain hating him, I added additional explanation in comments under this chapter.


	61. Devil in the church

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly fading away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 9k words. That's the longest chapter yet. Enjoy! And have a lovely weekend.

Isao walked out of the steamy bathroom and laughed at Takeshi lying on the huge bed like a star. He seemed so comfortable and happy, Isao’s big shirt covering his little body, pretty legs on display. Messy hair gave him an angelic look, cheeks healthy pink after the hot shower.

He was meant to be ready by now, not going back to sleep.

Isao tied the towel around his hips a little bit tighter and lied across him, propping his head up with his hand. “You’re planning to get up any time soon?”

Takeshi smiled and shook his head, not opening his eyes. If he could disappear between those pillows, duvets and blankets, he would.

Isao hummed quietly, eyes travelling down his throat then pale chest, the unbuttoned shirt displaying just a little of it. He moved closer and kissed Takeshi behind his ear, and down touching the sensitive neck and chest. Takeshi sighed happily, purred like a little cat so Isao grinned devilishly and moved between his legs that quickly trapped him as Takeshi tightened them around his hips, finally opening his eyes.

“You should get rid of that towel,” Takeshi suggested, stretching with a yawn. It was a sweet image to see Takeshi so peaceful, latest nights filled with nightmares exhausting him. Isao did not get much sleep either, waking up before Takeshi and wrapping his arms around him to calm him down. Sometimes he was quick enough to have Takeshi not realise he even had a nightmare.

“You think…”

Takeshi nodded and did not wait, instead grabbed it himself and threw to the side. “Much better,” he said quietly, tips of his fingers tracing the muscles of Isao’s arms, now stretched as Isao lifted himself on them to hover over him. Takeshi saw his eyes darkening, but he took his time and slowly touched his chest and hard stomach.

Isao was so gorgeous he made him want to cling to him or climb like a tree most of the day, as ridiculous as it sounded. And it was, but what could he do? Isao knew very well how much his body turned him on and used it against him.

Damn.

“Not in a rush to the Christening, anymore?” Isao asked, lowering himself letting Takeshi’s arms wrap around his chest, chin lifting to kiss him only to have Isao stop close enough to feel his minty, warm breath, and enough of a distance left so their lips could not touch.

Takeshi growled.

“Everything is prepared, I trust my son can take care of the rest… At least until I show up.” Takeshi let go and lifted himself to steal a kiss, Isao’s arms finally giving up and body covering Takeshi’s completely. Takeshi’s hands quickly wrapped themselves around his arms not letting him move away from his reach.

“Your son and his partner should had been the ones taking care of everything since the beginning.” Isao said, stroking his cheek. He did not want to touch this subject, thinking Takeshi has a completely different view on it, but since he started…

Isao wasn’t happy with Sousuke’s and Rin’s behaviour. They did not know that Takeshi was sick, but it changed little. They were both adults who had a child now, practically at the age of eighteen Sousuke’s main priority should be trying to prove to his father that he was ready to at least become boss’ right hand. And women of Yakuza, or in this case a man, were quiet, but supporting from the shadows.

Considering the fact that Takeshi was young nobody expected Sousuke to take over, and that wasn’t the point. He should be grateful for still having a father in their dangerous world, one he can learn from, so one day he could easily take over.

He should want to prove himself.

But Sousuke was too busy running after Rin, trying to pamper his ass. Right, Rin. He had his right to not like them for whatever reason. But his attitude was winding Isao up, so he could not imagine how Takeshi was starting to feel. Rin was always unhappy. Always complained. Always had an issue.

It was starting to be a joke.

Takeshi prepared Christening for their daughter. He would never complain because he did it for the little girl who shouldn’t be part of the argument. But it should had been Sousuke and Rin preparing it, asking Takeshi for help because obviously they wouldn’t have known what to do.

Not only they did not, and Takeshi spent weeks working his ass off, so everything would be perfect, but he did not hear a “thank you” once. Worse, he only heard Rin’s asshole remarks and Sousuke pretending to not hear because he did not want an argument.

Takeshi would probably snap and put Sousuke into his place, make him deal with Rin, surely tell him what he thinks about his attitude himself, but since he got sick, as expected, he pampered everybody but himself. He just wanted his granddaughter to have a perfect day.

Isao was happy to see that he was protesting at least today.

“I know.” Takeshi played with the necklace around his neck, one he gave him himself. “But when I imagined Rin preparing anything… I just took care of it.” He chuckled. “Didn’t want arguments and fights either. It’s pointless.”

“Since when?” Isao cocked an eyebrow. Takeshi wasn’t one for calm arguments. If he got pissed he got into a spat with others. Unless it was beyond important or making him mad, then he got ridiculously calm and terrifying.

But the silence said it all.

Since he was dying.

“You are not going to…” Takeshi did not let him finish. He put his hands on his cheeks and kissed him, shutting him up quickly. Isao hated how Takeshi was running away from the problem. They had to talk. Takeshi had to let the doctors try to heal him. He had to let Nalin try his magic. Find some doctors, clinics… Anything! But before they even tried a thing Takeshi of course considered saving his life pointless and did the “important”: put all the jobs on his shoulders believing he will do them best, the soonest and quickest, started sorting out all the documents, doing god knows what to get needed information just like that… Nothing mattered to him anymore, just so everything would be perfect for them once he’d die.

And Isao knew what Takeshi was capable of doing.

When Isao felt the first signs of Takeshi pushing him away, because the fool believed that by making everybody hate him, they would not care or suffer once he’d be gone, he did not let him.

He let him once and had to wait years to have Takeshi even look at him again.

Isao knew why Takeshi was running away from him. He could not lie to him. He tried, but Isao always found out sooner or later, knowing him too well. Takeshi was capable of ugly to force certain emotions out of people he loved, but the issue was that Isao could force emotions out of him too. If Takeshi wanted to pretend that he was strong and did not care, he could not have Isao by his side. 

Takeshi was vulnerable in his arms.

So Isao waited. Aware that he was letting Takeshi do the ugly, but he took calm approach to the whole situation. If he would corner Takeshi too quickly, if he would not think it all through, if he would not be smarter… he would lose it.

And he was not going to lose again.

“Well, if you’re leaving it in Sousuke’s arms, then I guess we have quite a bit of time.” Isao suggested, slowly unbuttoning Takeshi’s shirt, leaving kisses along the way. Takeshi was still healthy. Tiny, but enough flesh on his body. They still had time, enough time to save him.

He just had to let them.

Takeshi closed his eyes relaxing, feeling rest of the clothes being taken off him, Isao slowly pushing his legs apart, placing soft kisses on his inner thighs. He pushed his hands in Isao’s hair, whimper escaping his throat feeling the wet fingers and lips.

“Hey, dad!” Sousuke shouted on the other side of the door.

Takeshi opened his eyes quickly and caught Isao starring at him between his legs. “Don’t you dare,” Takeshi mouthed it clearly.

“Yeah?!” Takeshi hoped his voice did not sound as weak as it did to him. Isao moved higher, and Takeshi was ensured he stopped his actions, when suddenly he kneeled and grabbed Takeshi under his knees to bring him closer and lift his hips just enough. 

Takeshi slapped his hand over his mouth stopping the moan right on time, back arching, barely hearing Sousuke’s response. He tried to relax, Isao lying over him breathing evenly to calm himself down too, his forehead pressed to the pillow and eyes closed. Takeshi touched his ear with his lips.

“Dickhead.”

He just smirked.

“DAD!”

“What!” Takeshi whined when Isao lifted himself a little on his strong arms and rolled his hips, watching him with kind interest.

“Are you coming?!”

Isao started laughing soundlessly, shoulders shaking as relaxed he propped his head up with his hand, the other stroking Takeshi’s inner thigh slowly. He bent for a second to whisper to his ear, “Not yet,” trying to not laugh out loud at Takeshi’s expression.

If Takeshi could he would have killed him by now, but his thighs were shaking too much from the pleasure, Isao’s hips moving a little, so slowly. Takeshi dig his sharp nails in his ribs, just a small threat, and took a deep breath in before speaking.

“Everything’s prepared, just keep an eye on everything, I will be a bit late.”

So composed even naked with his legs spread and Isao inside him… Isao bent and kissed him, hips slamming forward.

The quiet scream was muted just in case Sousuke still did not get a hint, and Isao wrapped his arms around Takeshi’s lithe body and started moving as the sweat covered them, gasps and moans unstopped. Taken by pleasure they forgot about everything and came after a while, foreheads pressed together.

“I love you,” Takeshi whispered, fingertips touching Isao’s cheeks when his body relaxed.

Isao smiled and wrapped his arms around him tightly, Takeshi quickly cuddling up with his around Isao’s chest, hiding his face in his neck.

“I love you, too. More than you think,” he said quietly, kissing his temple. Now he felt like staying in the bed and never leaving.

He knew what Takeshi was doing all those years ago. It did not take a lot to figure out what he was doing now.

Isao could probably even guess with whom.

Takeshi knew how to use his beauty and position, how to seduce and manipulate. Whenever they needed information, anything, Takeshi’s charm and charisma worked wonders. He knew he could have whomever he wanted and people ate out of his hand.

But this wasn’t just an innocent game.

The guilt in Takeshi’s eyes. The slightest cringe from Isao’s touch, the self-hatred, before biting his lip and giving in, too desperate for his love to leave. That’s why he always hoped that Isao would.

Not wanting to feel, fighting against it, but losing.

Things went too far to push Isao away like he did then.

It was different, then so young and broken completely, no choice, now hands tied and future taken away when everything was finally falling into place. When he opened up again.

He needed love. Help. Support. But he tried to build up those walls of ice again, push them all away, hurt himself to save them. But he wasn’t from steel.

He broke under the pressure.

And he ran.

Somewhere where he could pretend. Where the man would make him forget. And even that could not only be a simple act of selfishness, but also done in hope that Isao would find out and leave him.

And after the guilt filling his veins, nightmares dreams, and alcohol blood as sharp nails dug into his body.

Takeshi forgave Isao many things and did so much for him, that Isao was ready to forgive him something that he knew Takeshi was doing out of desperation and brokenness, not indifference.

Isao saw the love and guilt in his eyes. It said everything he needed to know.

He had to fight.

“I won’t let you leave.”

He had to be smart and beyond careful when he could so easily lose.

Takeshi looked at him, and Isao felt he knew he wasn’t only talking about his life anymore.

Good.

You’re not winning this game, Takeshi.

**

Isao drank his coffee quickly, both him and Takeshi already late. But Takeshi was still in the living room with only a white shirt on, trousers thrown over the back of the sofa as he ran around for things he needed, to finally sit by the coffee table with a mirror in front of him, so he could put make up on.

Seeing Isao’s surprised look, he explained, “Just so I won’t look sick. Nobody will notice.” He never put make up on for such moments, but now he did not really have a choice anymore, unless he wanted to have his picture in the press with a huge headline “What’s happening to the Yamazaki.” on the next day.

They heard footsteps and shocked noticed Nalin, who lifted his hand up. “I know I am late, too. But since you’re here,” he looked at Isao, “can I steal you for a moment?”

Isao went, eyebrows furrowed, leaving Takeshi confused.

“Okay, so, from what I gather Takeshi still refuses to try anything, right?” Nalin asked as they walked downstairs.

“Whenever I try to even start a conversation about it, he shuts me up or runs away,” Isao murmured, feeling a little uncomfortable.

It wasn’t that long ago he called the guy a ‘schizo’ in front of everybody and obviously he wasn’t proud of it. Honestly, he still wasn’t sure who was behind the poisoning but there was little he could do… So far he could only watch Nalin.

“Typical.” Nalin showed him the way to the once empty room that Takeshi gave him to use until they would finish rebuilding Nalin’s mansion. Now it had a huge table in the middle, shelves with ingredients and some books on the white walls… but compared to what Nalin had, this looked sad.

They stood in the middle of the room. “This is why I did not want Takeshi to hear us, especially today,” he said, turning to face him. “With him not letting anybody test him he makes the job difficult and pretty much impossible, but…” Nalin shrugged. “I gathered his latest results, plus since you said the symptoms are like when I poisoned him…”

“Are you trying to find a cure?” Isao stopped him.

Nalin blinked.

“Sorry.” Isao shook his head. “Continue, please.”

“It’s simple, really…” Nalin said quietly, crossing his arms over his chest. “When I looked at the results and doctors’ comments, everything made me think of one thing. Cancer.”

Isao cringed. “They would know if it is cancer, though.”

“That’s why I’m just saying it looks a lot like it. We don’t know what the gang is capable of, what their resources are. Maybe they created something that was equivalent of it. Frankly, it wouldn’t surprise me. We can only guess. Everything we know is that something is slowly killing him.”

“How can we save him if we can only guess?”

“By trying.”

Isao smiled. “And that’s the problem. He believes we would only be wasting our time, because it’s impossible to find a cure for invisible sickness and there is probably none. He doesn’t want us to be thinking about it till the end. He wants to pretend everything is fine as long as his body allows, live a normal life, instead of spending his days in a hospital or wherever being experimented on, or trying different cures… You know what he is doing, running around trying to prepare everything for us, especially Sousuke. We are his priority so for him it either doing what he feels needs to be done, as long as he can, or being stripped of strength today and possibly just suffering till the end.”

“It is also not doing anything and letting him give up and die, or forcing him to sit on his ass and possibly saving it.” Takeshi was trying to emotionally manipulate them since the beginning, making them believe they should respect his choice. Respect his choice to give up and die! Even though maybe somewhere there was a cure! Nalin wanted to slap him. What kind of thinking was it?! Nothing saddened Nalin more than the image of a person who asks people to stop looking for a way to save him, and them actually agreeing and leaving him alone. Someone like that needed outmost support, not the last stab in the back. Takeshi was plainly scared and had little hope, so it was their job to give it to him.

That was respect and love.

“You don’t need to explain it to me.” Isao sighed as he sat on the chair on the side.

“I did not ask him for permission to look for a cure…” Nalin snorted, leaning on the table. As if he would listen to that brat. He wasn’t planning to give up, whatever Takeshi wanted. “But I need permission to give it to him.”

“Wait.” Isao looked up quickly. “You actually have something already?”

Nalin nodded. “I still need to test it at least a little, improve it, so I need Takeshi’s blood before giving it to him. But even then… I can’t guarantee anything. Side-effects, final effect…” They were risking. But it was either that or watching Takeshi waste away and die. He was smart, hiding all symptoms, but Nalin could see him getting worse already. To him it was simple. He understood why Takeshi was scared, but it was worth the risk.

“You think I will convince him…”

“If not you, then nobody will.”

**

Rin’s little brother watched everything from where he was being placed on his mom’s hip.

There were loads of people he did not know, and they were slowly walking up the huge stairs to the very big church. It reminded him of Notre Dame, the one he saw in the movie he watched with mommy.

Some said ‘hi’ to them, and wanted to look at the little baby. Some of them stayed by their side.

They looked scary.

He recognised Isao, though, he seemed intimidating because he was muscly and tall, but shook his hand, which made him smile. Everybody else only cared about the little baby.

It made him sad. Why people didn’t like him anymore?

“Where’s dad?” Sousuke asked, as more and more cars stopped by the bottom of the stairs, suited men, and women in beautiful smart dresses, furs and coats, walking towards the church.

“He’s going to be here in a moment.” Isao smiled, and they all turned their heads at the loud sound of the upcoming machine.

Nao loved cars. He saw loads that looked like limousines, and less sport ones, but this one looked like the one he owned in his HotWheels collection. Just in a full sized version, dark silver and all sharp edges. It was so cool! A bit like Batman’s.

He loved Batman.

Sousuke’s dad drove quickly so he had to stop abruptly right in front of the stairs, the engine roaring reminding Nao of a tiger. It looked like fire was coming out of it.

Maybe it was more like a dragon.

Takeshi stepped out of the car and gave his keys to the man who was taking all the cars away to park them, one by one. There were so many of them in front of the church, it looked like a racing show, and a lot of uninvited people were interested watching them and even taking pictures.

Nao felt famous.

Takeshi walked up to them and Nao waved his little hand, confused why everybody was starring so much at them. But Takeshi did not seem to care and smiled at them, reaching out to Nao first.

“Hey, you, do you remember me?” He made Nao giggle when he grasped his foot and shook it jokingly.

“Yes!”

“What took you so long?” Sousuke asked, Sayomi in his arms.

“Well, son, if you forgot your father is quite a busy man so I had to do a few things before officially becoming unavailable for the rest of the day.” Takeshi fixed his black tie as Sousuke rolled his eyes smiling. “Let me see my little granddaughter, come on…” He took her in his arms. Only her little face was visible, wrapped in a white fur, the long dress she was wearing nearly reaching the floor, soft material like feathers. “I need to introduce a few people to you.” He stroked her cheek, expensive rings on his fingers, white sleeve of the shirt and black of the blazer a little bit above it encasing his wrist.

Rin watched him curious. Not a sign of illness. He looked perfect, beautifully crafted expensive suit, yet simple, classic ray-bans covering his eyes, hair cut shorter, soft pitch-black fridge encasing his forehead, shaved on the sides. So young, the light make up brightening his face just a little.

“This one for example is Uncle Lend Me Some Money.” Takeshi grinned when an older man, grey hair and face full of wrinkles, but posture straight and powerful, walked up to them.

“Of course, darling.” He returned the grin, lifting his hand to stroke little Sayomi’s cheek. “Because your grandfather is clearly poor.”

Takeshi laughed charmingly. “Grandfather likes to play with money a little too much, so just in case.”

“Grandfather better not be betting tonight, or I will be very disappointment that he has not learnt anything from the old man.” He waved his finger in front of his face and made his way towards the church after tightening his hand on Takeshi’s arm for a quick moment.

“And this is Uncle Get Me Out Of Jail…” Takeshi’s voice sounded a little different.

Rin looked and had to stop himself from tensing too much. It was the man he saw with Takeshi in the park. His mother starred.

Shiro noticed and tried to hide his smile.

“Dad, she won’t get locked up.” Sousuke shook his head.

Takeshi looked at him disappointed. “You’re no fun.” He smiled at the man. “Shiro.”

He bent his head slightly to both Takeshi and Isao, which clearly surprised the man. “Takeshi. Isao…”

Rin was surprised when he shook hands with them, too, knowing them. Shiro seemed to notice his confusion because he smiled. “Kid, I know everything about you all, not only your names.”

“Shiro is family’s lawyer, he prepared all documents needed for today.” Takeshi snorted, seeing Shiro obviously having fun.

“Pleasant change after what you usually have me deal with.”

Takeshi made a little tut-tut noise, but there was no time for more teasing. He felt Isao standing slightly behind him with arms across his chest, muscles tense. And he did not think this was about simply being a bodyguard.

Isao knew.

Many people walked by. They met the Uncle Who Always Has Money, Uncle That Will Hide You, Uncle Who Throws Best Parties, Uncle Who Will Lend You A Car… Rin hated it. Sousuke was laughing. Takeshi was showing off the little girl. So happy, cheerful, and proud.

And then sometimes turned to one bodyguard, or the other, telling them to check the security and if there are any threats. Murderers hiding, bombs placed near… Rin did not know, but it created a terrifying contrast. He could do it so smoothly.

Takeshi looked over Shiro’s shoulder, sighing noticing his ‘favourite’ family. “You better go, guys, I will take care of them.”

“I’m already gone.” Sousuke swiftly took Sayomi out of his arms and hurried up the rest of the family to go with him to the church.

Kimuras were here.

“I will see you later, then.” Shiro nodded to him and Isao again, and rushed as well, clearly not being a fan either.

Takeshi turned to Isao, the thought of Shiro’s outmost respect for him at the back of his mind. “Check if everything is safe, okay?” He kissed his cheek. “You know I only trust you.”

Isao smiled, shaking his head. Ah Takeshi… Cooing to an infant and securing them from murderers, all at once. “I would prefer to not leave you alone here…”

“Please.”

“As you wish.”

**

“Are you okay, Kisumi?” Gou asked as they stood at the pulpit, in front of everybody already sitting down. The church was huge inside and so stunning that she left her family to look at the beautiful coloured cathedral glass and all the small details on sculptures. All Christening decorations were beautiful and simple, white and silver, so many lovely white roses everywhere and candles lightening the church up, as it was already getting dark in the winter season. It created a warm, inviting and lovely atmosphere.

He smiled nodding. No he wasn’t. He did not sleep since Sousuke asked him to be a godfather.

They were surprised that he was shocked, but he really did not expect it since he quit Yakuza. Okay, you never really quit it, but he refused to be Sousuke’s bodyguard. It would not work out either way and he was sure that this was why Takeshi let him go so easily, but in this case he did not expect being chosen to be a godfather.

“Stop worrying, it is sweet.” She was so innocent and pretty, not knowing she was standing in front of people who were judging her every move. Murderers, money launderers, thieves… Gangsters. Not knowing she was signing up to be a godmother of a child second in line to become a boss of Yakuza. “It can’t be that difficult, babysitting the baby and buying her presents.” Gou cocked her head. “You don’t even look like yourself today.”

Babysitting and buying her presents. Right. Riiight.

This was what godparents were usually asked to do.

Gou had no idea. No freaking idea.

This child was Takeshi’s granddaughter. Yakuza boss’ granddaughter. Second in line. This child had the biggest protection imagined.

She was watched by the boss himself.

And she needed it badly because at the same time she was the child that everybody could try to kill.

They were not meant to be godparents. They were meant to be her silent angels.

He asked his father how he felt when Takeshi wanted him to be Sousuke’s godparent. It was different because he was already the boss’ bodyguard and it doesn’t get more dangerous, but it was stressful. You had to put the child above the parent, in a way. When Takeshi lost it, Isao had to hold Sousuke safe from his own parent. Everyday the worrying, now in doubles, constant fear as he not only loved Takeshi, but Sousuke too. Kisumi’s situation seemed easy in comparison.

Takeshi was a good godfather. A great silent angel since even when he broke, he helped from the shadows. And now when he could finally open up to them, he was there to shake his father and put his family back together.

God, he even stayed after grandfather tortured him and never blamed him or his dad.

Kisumi felt that as Takeshi did everything from the shadows, many people really did not give him enough credit. But maybe that was the point, he did not want everybody to know who he really was.

“Kisumi?”

“Right.” He shook the thoughts off and looked at her. “Not really time for skirts.” Kisumi grinned. He was wearing a lovely simple suit, even his hair was pretty yet not extravagant.

Thanks you, Takeshi.

“I think everybody is here.” Nobu walked up to Sousuke,

“Where’s dad?”

Isao smiled to himself. He knew Sousuke was a good kid, but he was so comfortable depending on his father… He did not even realise it.

The huge door at the other end opened, and Takeshi walked in. Tall and slim, expensive yet simple black suit on, glasses off. And Rin looked as everybody turned, some with smiles on their faces, actual friends, and some with plain curiosity, gossip already on their lips.

Takeshi looked at none of the gangsters, straight and powerful, chin high as he walked towards the pulpit. Isao watched him quietly. He ignored the evil, dark aura, people nodding their heads in respect, Takeshi proud and ignorant.

He saw the pretty boy hiding his smile, bright eyes, and thought that the next time they could be here for their day.

A wedding.

Isao would be standing right here, with the boys behind him, probably teasing him or commenting how beautiful Takeshi looked, his heart beating quickly unable to even talk. Takeshi would be right there, but walking towards him only. He could not imagine what Takeshi would be wearing, but he would look perfect like always, making all the heads turn.

Just the thought made him smile and Takeshi noticed, his grin betraying the evil façade. 

“What is it?” Takeshi took Isao’s offered hand, as he went up the few stairs to them, and let him pull him closer.

“Nothing, I was just thinking about something.” Isao was surprised when Takeshi kissed him on the lips right in front of everybody, but it made his heart warm.

Takeshi cocked an eyebrow but did not push. “Ready?”

“Born ready.” Kisumi bit his lip.

They laughed and Takeshi putting his hand on his shoulder for a quick moment let him relax.

**

The priest, Sayomi, Sousuke and Rin, Kisumi and Gou, Takeshi and Isao stood together. Rin’s mother sat in the first row with Nao on her lap, watching them in silence. She recognised some of Takeshi’s men close to her, and whom she assumed was Yori with her boyfriend and his father.

She knew Takeshi was responsible for everything, and he did a beautiful job. It was difficult to hate him when she saw him looking at Sayomi like at a precious diamond, carrying her so carefully. When he and Isao said ‘hi’ to Nao first, finally making the kid smile and feel noticed.

They did not need to. She knew they were not fond of them. Rin told her a lot of ugly things about Takeshi. But children were innocent.

And they treated them as such.

She was aware that the Christening was initiation as much, this was why Rin was complaining the most. But what did he expect? Sometimes she wanted to swat him on the head. He knew that by being with Sousuke, who accepted his role as mafia boss’ son, they would have to conform. Her Rin was a fool believing he will have any impact. He was just a boy in a cage full of powerful men.

It wasn’t fiction where one boy would make a change, this was real world where he had to make a choice to give up and accept or leave.

The difference between normal and their Christening was that instead of only the fathers holding the child while it was christened, at the end Takeshi put a small black blanket made of silk with silver linings over Sayomi’s white outfit and took her in his arms.

She noticed the shiny “Y”, unsure whether it meant to be shortened Yakuza or Yamazaki.

Maybe both.

That moment was quiet, everybody focused on him as with holy water taken from the gold baptismal he touched her little forehead softly, drawing something on it.

It was terrifying to Rin’s mother. The church was meant to be the place where no devil could come in yet she felt as if looking at one. Beautiful creature dressed in black, standing out on the white landscape.

Devil was meant to be a handsome charmer. That was the point.

This place was full of people who should have burnt just by stepping inside. She was surprised the water did not sizzle when Takeshi put his hand in it. Everything just went silent instead.

How many people died of those hands now so carefully touching her granddaughter?

Yori smirked. Her father was still the evil she remembered.

**

Isao watched as Takeshi was taking care of everything. Making sure everybody had their sit and they were comfortable, there was enough food and drinks, everybody enjoyed their time, the waiters and waitresses were perfect, everything in its place…

They were at Nalin’s club. Well, or so it was once meant to be. Once Takeshi and him joined the business, this place was transformed into a beautiful hotel with a ball hall where they currently were. The interior was similar, if not made even more expensive, white, gold, and glass, the only difference was that nobody pretended it was an underground club anymore.

Underground was on the other side, still being built. Nearly finished. Isao could not help but stare, even though it was mostly covered on purpose at the moment.

It was where he met Takeshi for the first time and everything began. Today they were celebrating the Christening of his granddaughter.

He smiled when Nao, who was sat clearly upset as everybody chatted mostly about the Christening and Sayomi, finally jumped off the sit and went on his little feet to Takeshi, who was talking with two waiters on the side.

Takeshi picked him up and grabbed the balloon that Nao pointed at. He gave it to him, the kid clearly happier. Poor baby, it was always like this when a child was born and everybody was more interested in the new kid. It did not make it easier that the party was huge and yet nobody really put attention on him.

Well, now he had the most important man in the room all for himself.

Takeshi let him stay in his arms, walking around showing him stuff, talking with people, giving out orders. Whatever he was saying to Nao, the child seemed to love suddenly feeling very important.

Isao grinned when Takeshi winked to him and walked up to them as he saw Takeshi making his way to another room.

“Hi.” Nao’s eyes were bright now, holding onto Takeshi’s shoulder.

It was funny how much kids actually liked Takeshi considering how terrified adults were of him.

“Hey, kiddo.” Isao put his hand on Takeshi’s waist as they walked the corridors, Nao interested watching everything. It was nice to be away from all the talk for a few minutes.

“So are you okay now?” Nao suddenly looked at Takeshi, big eyes curious and concerned.

“What are you talking about?” Takeshi cocked his head.

“I heard mommy and RinRin talking about you being pois… pois…” He furrowed his eyebrows. What was the word?

“Poisoned.” Isao said, stopping abruptly.

Wait a second. How the fuck would they know since Sousuke did not?

Takeshi was quiet, only making him more suspicious. “Takeshi?”

“Did they say anything else?” Takeshi asked the kid.

“Noo.” He grinned. “I wasn’t meant to hear it,” he whispered. “But I woke up and they were talking downstairs about you being ill, but not looking it, or something.”

“I am fine.” Takeshi chuckled, poking his cheek, making Nao giggle and hide his face in his neck. “I won’t tell you said anything, but you don’t talk about it to anybody especially your mommy and Rin, too, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Let it be our little secret.” Takeshi smiled and lifted his hand to grasp Nao’s pinky with his.

“Okay!” He seemed excited to have a secret, little white teeth on display.

**

Isao found it difficult to act normal, so the second Nao left them and ran back to his mom, he grabbed Takeshi and him pushed to the empty room.

“What is going on?” he asked quickly, shutting the door after them.

Takeshi sighed to himself. If life could at least sometimes work the way he wanted it to.

“Well, it seems Matsuokas know of the poisoning.” He did not expect the kid to bust them, but, hey…

The look Isao gave him said more than words.

“I thought Rin poisoned me but I wanted to check it before saying anything.”

“You knew he poisoned you and yet you waited?” Isao snapped. “Should have said something, I would have gotten out of him what he gave you and we could start healing you!” What the hell was Takeshi thinking?!

“Right.” Takeshi snorted. “If I’d say it was him all of you would just call me an unfair jerk again. Poor baby Rin, he never done wrong. He was just a baby when he betrayed Sousuke!” he mocked. “I said that once a traitor, always a traitor, and you all laughed in my face and stood on his side. You’re surprised I did not tell any of you?” Takeshi shook his head, angry. “So I waited until I would have evidence.”

Isao seemed shaken. “Okay. Fine.” He took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. “We have the evidence. Can I grab him now?” He already was making his way towards the door when Takeshi grabbed his arm and to his surprise, nobody else but Shiro walked in.

“You called?” Shiro did not seem too comfortable noticing it was just the two of them in the room.

Isao turned to look at Takeshi.

“He knows.” Takeshi begged for patience and told Shiro to close the door after himself. “You know the little kiddo I was carrying around just…?”

“Yeah.” Shiro grabbed the chair abandoned on the side and sat on it, as Isao walked to the window, back turned towards them.

“He just said Rin and his mother were talking about my poisoning.”

“I assume they could not possibly know?”

“No.” Takeshi leaned on the wall. “Unless Rin eavesdropped.”

“So you’re still not hundred per cent sure it was him…”

“Oh, come on.” Isao snorted, turning to face them. “We were beyond careful. There was no way he heard it. And if he would have by accident then he would tell Sousuke. But he clearly does not know… Why is he involved anyway?” He asked Takeshi, pointing at Shiro.

“Because I asked him to help me gather evidence.” Takeshi explained. “We showed up together in the park knowing that Rin was going to be there. So I thought he will either tell you or the gang.”

“Anybody could see you in the park.”

“Not during that hour in that place.” Takeshi shrugged. “We kept an eye on who was there, so the chance it was someone else was little.”

“Well, he hasn’t told me.” Isao chose to not ask what they were doing that would make Rin tell on them. “Why Shiro, though…”

“Because Shiro is the one who had information about trafficking, so the gang would start wondering if he did not tell me anything.”

“And how would you find out if Rin told them?”

Takeshi bit the inside of his cheek.

“Oh. By going there and seeing if they would be waiting for you.”

Shiro was starting to see why Takeshi had to run away from Isao once in a while. Dude was smart, really knew him too well, and it was impossible to bullshit him. Add to it that he cared for him, and Takeshi was fucked.

He was starting to feel sorry for Isao, because Takeshi was often this stubborn child but you could not shout at him and put in his place because he held all the power.

“I need to get on their ship anyway.” Takeshi said quietly. “This isn’t only about Rin. If I would manage to put cameras everywhere and we could see where they’re taking the children, where the business is, or home… it won’t go to waste.”

“Oh, no, it won’t, you might just die,” he responded sarcastically.

“I am dying anyway…” Takeshi did not finish and even Shiro tensed seeing Isao’s head snapping towards them, hands curling into fists. “Isao,” he said calmly. “Sousuke would break if he would find out that Rin is a traitor. This is about me, he only hates me, and once I am gone Rin will be loyal to him. I need to be ensured that he is the traitor, and once I will without causing scenes and involving everybody, then I can use him to our advantage, too.” Takeshi would always prioritise his family over himself, but he was a boss, not a walking sacrifice. He would let his son live in denial if it would make him happy, but he was going to use Rin’s connection as a punishment and advantage for the whole gang.

“I can’t believe what you are saying.” Isao pressed his fingers to his eyes, shaking his head. “We’re talking about your life here and yet you… And you think Sousuke would prefer to live being lied to, with someone who murdered his father, too.”

Takeshi bent his fingers nervously, staying quiet. What you don’t know doesn’t hurt… Right?

“Okay… I will let you go and see for sure if Rin is the traitor, but the second you’re back…”

“That was the plan. See if he is and corner him after. Just, please, act like everything is fine for now. Trust me.”

“I only allow it because it is right after Christmas. You would not go to the hospital before it anyway.” Isao was furious and had the urge to break Rin’s neck, but if not doing it… yet… would give them a better result in the end. Okay. Fine.

He did not know how to sit and watch Takeshi wasting away knowing the answer is sitting right in front of him, though. It was a fucking joke.

“Hey.” He felt Takeshi’s soft hands against his cheeks and lifted his head to look at him. “It is only a few days.”

“When you’re back, we will ask him and you will let the doctors or Nalin heal you.”

“You suddenly like Nalin, huh?” Takeshi chuckled.

“Takeshi.”

He closed his eyes and sighed. “Yes, I will.”

Isao thought of something. That brat could know nothing anyway. “And that no matter what Rin will say. If he won’t know, you will still let us try anything. Please.” Hands on Takeshi’s sides tightened, bringing him a little closer to him.

Takeshi was quiet for a while.

“Okay.”

“Come here.” He wrapped his arms around him and hugged tight, kissing his temple. Takeshi, Takeshi, so little in his arms. Isao looked over at Shiro, sitting with his side towards them, arms crossed over his chest and eyes closed as a small smile showed on his face.

At least Isao did not need to fight this war. There wasn’t one.

**

Takeshi laughed as James made an annoyed face when Nalin owned him in a joke again. He was sat with his legs over Isao’s lap, man’s hands over them stroking without knowing. Or maybe knowing, fingers nervously tapping, hands twitching, begging to let them fight.

Nalin was pressed to Takeshi’s side, the three of them in a corner, with rest of the boys opposite to them.

“What are you laughing at, you should be on my side.” James threw a tissue in Takeshi’s way.

“I’m on the winner’s side.” He grinned.

“So.” The older man who warned Takeshi earlier of betting showed up behind Nobu and put his hands on the back of his chair. “From what I gather from all the gossip the next celebration will be a wedding?”

Isao patted Takeshi’s thigh proudly. “Hopefully.”

As Isao and others happily jumped into a conversation about his and Isao’s wedding, Takeshi stayed quiet. Right, of course… That’s how it should be. A few weeks ago he was checking out catalogues out of curiosity, dreaming about their special day and honeymoon.

Not that he told anyone, of course. They would just tease him for his sappiness.

But now that he sat here and looked at Isao’s excited face, he just felt himself getting more and more upset.

Wedding.

Maybe by a miracle.

But what if it was going to be a…

Funeral?

He was dying. The last time he went to Shiro he asked him to start reviewing his Last Will. As a rich man and a mafia boss his was written ages ago, so he was asking for corrections and such instead of it being written, but still… he wasn’t asking for tips on marriage documents instead.

And now he saw Shiro looking at him from quite far away, kept distance to not make people think they’re closer than necessary, with an unsure smile on his face, clearly knowing what he was thinking and even feeling sorry for him.

“Look at you, suddenly speechless.” The man chuckled. “It isn’t that terrifying, Takeshi.”

He smiled weakly, feeling something choking him. “Sorry…” He straightened up, taking his legs off Isao’s, and kissed his cheek. “I will be back in a second.” He rushed away from them.

“Have I said something wrong?” The man asked concerned.

“No.” Isao smiled, feeling his chest tightening. “He has a lot on his head lately, that’s all.”

**

“Are you okay?” Shiro sat by Takeshi on the short wall made of red bricks outside the club, on its right with a view of the city. Obviously Takeshi did not just go outside where the benches were, he hid where others could not easily find him. This place seemed unfinished, forgotten on the side until someone would remember about it.

“Perfect.” He blew the smoke out of his mouth.

Shiro noticed his hands were shaking and eyes were a little bit red.

Takeshi was crying.

“That bitch will tell what he gave you and you will heal. When he saw me today he nearly crapped himself, so when Isao will grab him he will sing like a little bird. And if he doesn’t know then they will find a way anyway. Dude, you have Florist on your side, he’s a genius.” Shiro put his hand on his shoulder.

“I’m not upset over myself.” Takeshi still starred forward. “I don’t care that I am dying. I am fine with it. But I know they are not and they will suffer. Isao deserves that wedding and a happy life.”

“Then let them help you.” He tightened his hand. It was awful to hear how little Takeshi cared about his life, but it wasn’t his job to make him love himself.

“Well, if he will break the promise then I will whoop his ass.”

Shiro nearly fell off the wall jumping scared hearing Isao’s voice. “Jesus.” He put his hand on his heart. “Man, I am risking my life here, too, don’t give me a heart attack.”

“They are not going to attack you.” Takeshi said calmly, turning to look at Isao. Shiro was jealous of his peace.

“Okay, I will be gone then,” Shiro murmured and gathered himself up. “See you later.”

“Thanks, Shiro…”

Takeshi smiled as Isao sat by him across the wall, grabbing his legs so Takeshi would face him properly, legs around his hips. Takeshi put his arms around his neck, stealing a kiss.

“I am sorry.”

“What for?” Isao grasped his small back and pulled him onto his lap.

Takeshi kissed him again, lips soft on his, and pressed his forehead against his lightly with hands on his cheeks. “Everything.”

“You’re so stupid sometimes.” Isao bumped his head against his.

Takeshi snorted. “Thanks.”

“It is okay, at least it reminds me that I am the more intelligent one out of the two of us.”

“You douche.” Takeshi started laughing, slapping his arm.

“Just joking.” Isao kissed his forehead. “You know, I enjoy him running away so quickly,” he murmured against his lips, teasing them a little.

“Isao,” he whispered. “You know he doesn’t… he’s not playing me…”

“If I’d think he was forcing you, he’d be dead by now.” Takeshi felt the nails on his back. “I’m not going to fight with him like a twelve year old, when it isn’t his responsibility to be loyal to me, but my fiancée’s.”

Takeshi looked down, unable to look into his eyes anymore. It felt as if he poured something toxic down his throat, Isao being so rational and calm made him feel even worse. But he should.

“Why him, Takeshi?” Isao stroked his cheek and lifted his chin.

He cringed. But Isao deserved all the answers. “Because it’s just sex with him. He would never want more and he’s comfortable with it being a secret too, so it’s safe. I know he won’t use it against me.”

The corner of Isao’s lips lifted. “I thought I’m good enough.”

His head snapped up. “That’s not what I said. You’re always good enough. More than enough.” Takeshi shook his head. “It’s just…” He licked his lip, mouth drying. “You care and worry. And even when you don’t say anything, I know. I know because you touch me different, your touch becomes softer with every kilogram I lose, and you don’t tug my hair anymore because you’ve noticed it is falling out…” His hands played with Isao’s tie nervously, him still sat on his legs, facing Isao. “So sometimes when everything’s too much I run away like a coward. To him.”

“Because he lets you forget.”

“For a bit, yes.” Takeshi looked exhausted after the whole day of constant high alert, running around checking on everything. Isao could remember the days when they could not sleep for a few nights and still have strength. But now Takeshi was weak. And only getting worse. “Besides, with that I know he prioritises all of our stuff over others.”

“And you’re in a rush.” Of course this was about the gang too.

“You don’t know when it will kill me.”

“Look at me.” Isao took his face in his hands, the dark with ill shade of blue circles under Takeshi’s eyes worrying him. He did cover them and yet… “At the end of the day I am just human and it makes my blood boil thinking of him touching you. And I don’t want him to. But…” He took a deep breath in. “I survived you falling in love with someone else…” Takeshi closed his eyes. If Isao only knew… “I will survive just sex. So in the worst moment, when it will be either you doing something really stupid or going to him, just… just go to him.”

Takeshi gasped in shock. “You are letting me…?”

Isao shrugged. “I am not approving a fuckbuddy, I am saying go to him if the only other choice would be you hurting yourself. Maybe one day you will come to me instead.”

“I come to you with everything, Isao. I trust you with everything. This was something else. I don’t want you to excuse me.” Isao’s ‘approval’ only made him feel worse.

“You did not tell me about Rin.” He wasn’t excusing it, not really. Just buying Takeshi time. He knew Takeshi felt guilt, so he did not need to tell him that he was doing something that wasn’t right.

“That was the only thing. I feared you wouldn’t let me go… Isao.” He stopped. “You don’t have to do this.”

He smiled. “You wish I just left you, don’t you.” He slapped his thigh lightly, making Takeshi slip off his lap, and he stood up extending his hand towards him. “Never, doll.”

**

“Tired?” Isao loosened the tie around his neck when finally after a long day they reached their bedroom and Takeshi dropped on the bed. He looked ill.

He nodded and Isao walked up to the window on the other side of the room, just to check if anybody uninvited was anywhere near. His head snapped back when he heard the quick footsteps, and he saw Takeshi rushing to the bathroom with hand over his mouth.

“Takeshi?” he asked concerned and went after him.

He was kneeling over the toilet, coughing loudly, clearly sick. Isao came closer, worried. Takeshi barely ate anything but the coughs weren’t stopping and his body only started shivering, face scarily white when he could finally catch a breath and he pressed his forehead to his arm.

Isao kneeled by him, putting his hand on his back, caressing it slowly. “Do you want…”

Before he finished Takeshi started coughing again, and he saw a few tears escaping his eyes. It clearly hurt. When Isao tried to brush his hair back to sooth him at least a little, he noticed blood on the white shirt where Takeshi pressed his face.

Blood?

“Takeshi?” Now really alerted Isao quickly grasped his face when the coughing stopped for a minute again, and terrified noticed the red liquid on his chin, rest of the blood in the toilet, striking contrast to the white surface. “You’re coughing up blood…” He said more to himself than Takeshi, making himself understand what was actually happening. He was terrified. “We need to go to the hospital…” Takeshi was conscious but so exhausted and pale he seemed to not be contacting well. Isao quickly put his hands underneath his back and knees to lift him up and stood up with him. “Don’t fall asleep.” He ordered, Takeshi’s cheek on his shoulder, eyes closing against his will. “Don’t!”

But he did, body becoming faint in his arms. “Takeshi!”

Isao shook him, but there was no reaction. “Takeshi? Takeshi!”

“NALIN!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the subscriptions, comments, messages, likes, kudos, and reblogs!   
> And special thank you to those who promo and tell their friends about the story <3
> 
> A little thing:  
> http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com/post/143902309697/when-takeshi-wants-to-give-up-on-his-life-but


	62. Please don't give up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pain, the mystery, the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to @glitterofwonderland for being the best and also naming Sousuke's daughter ;)

When you are full of rage, so hungry for revenge, the only thing you dream about is seeing the one you hate pay.

To Yori, Takeshi was a monster.

Father’s job was to give his child love. She never felt it. Takeshi was never there, and if he was then to be completely emotionless and unsupportive, only knew how to snap and punish.

When she left, he let her. Called her a traitor.

Maybe she was? Sousuke believed you had to stay loyal to family no matter what. She believed the opposite. When Nalin showed her warmth, when she fallen in love with Ren, she became loyal to them.

Nalin wanted to ruin Takeshi? Even better for her. She wanted revenge and didn’t know it would be so easy. Getting involved with the man who hated Takeshi the most… perfect.

Her blood did boil when she realised Nalin wanted something else. In all honesty, she still wasn’t sure what he wanted. Maybe him staying by her father’s side was part of a bigger plan.

She did not care as long as her father suffered.

Or so she thought.

When she sat in the living room, mainly with the young guys as most adults left, she heard Isao’s desperate cry for help. It made her blood freeze.

The terrified look on Nalin’s face ensured her that he knew Takeshi was sick.

Many of them ran upstairs after him and most regretted it soon after. She saw everything through a window of shock, feeling like a glass was between them and her. Pressed to the wall, she watched her father in Isao’s arms, body faint, blood on his cheeks, chin, and down the throat onto the white shirt.

He looked grotesque.

He looked… dead.

They put him on top of the bed, Nalin desperately trying to find the cause of the bleeding as the blood continued on pouring down the corner of his lips.

How much has he lost already?

Isao seemed to be in shock looking at Takeshi like at his worst nightmare.

When Takeshi coughed, eyes opening just a little, Nalin said something to him that made Isao pale visibly, eyes horrified. They quickly moved Takeshi on his side as he started choking, the blood filling his mouth again.

So much of it and it wasn’t stopping.

Takeshi was breathing unevenly, clearly struggling as his chest heaved.

“Ren, get my bag from my room.” Nalin said quickly, but shouted again as the scared boy did not move. He ran, grabbing Kisumi to go with him. “Isao, call the fucking ambulance, come on!”

Nalin never swore.

“What’s going on…” Sousuke asked weakly. “Dad…”

She wasn’t sure if Takeshi heard him, Nalin pushing him on his back and putting his hand on his chest over the heart. Was he checking if his heart was steady? Slowing down? Controlling it? She wasn’t sure. But it seemed to keep Takeshi fairly stable.

There were many rumours about Nalin.

When Takeshi’s eyes began slowly closing again, Nalin slapped his cheek lightly, trying to keep him awake. “Do not fall asleep. You can’t!”

He was dying.

“They’re going to be here as quickly as possible…” Isao came back and stroked his hair, Takeshi’s eyes now on Isao, losing focus quickly. “Keep fighting. Please…” She never heard anybody sound so broken.

“I need to open him.” Nalin said as the boys came back, breathing heavily. Ren quickly handed him the bag, Kisumi already backing away, keeping his breathing even to not get sick.

There was so much blood.

“No.”

“Isao, I think I know what’s happening…”

“No.”

“Isao, it might save his life…”

“You are not cutting him fucking open!” Isao shouted, voice breaking at the end. “You are going to kill him.”

Kisumi closed his eyes and Ren grabbed him, pushing him out of the room.

“I will save his life.”

“It will hurt too much…”

“It won’t, I promise…”

“No.”

“Isao I am not asking you for fucking permission, I am saying hold him the fuck down.”

“NO!”

“Takeshi…” Nalin put his hands on his cheeks. “Please.”

She thought he did not hear either, but with a shaking hand he caught Isao’s, pale lips barely moving.

“Do it.”

Maybe Isao only needed to hear his voice to snap out of it. Maybe he needed an order. Was this how it worked? If they were in love, did Takeshi still hold any power over him?

Could Takeshi love?

Isao grabbed his arms, mouth in a thin line, pressing him to the bed. She knew he would shoot himself if Takeshi would die from this.

She wasn’t sure what made her move towards her father and hold down his legs. Isao was focused on Takeshi, Nalin spared her a quick look.

She knew what he was thinking. But there was no time for choices.

When he put a bit of material in Takeshi’s mouth and took a knife out to start cutting from the top of his chest to the bottom of his stomach, other hand holding him down on the way, she saw the agony on her father’s face, him closing his eyes tightly as tears escaped his eyes, scream muffled by the cloth, body wanting to arch in pain. Isao bit his teeth together, feeling like he was causing him pain himself. 

She could not imagine him ever sleeping peacefully again.

The blood poured out of Takeshi and he lost any colour that was left on his face. From everything that Nalin taught her, she knew it wasn’t meant to be so. A little blood, from the cut, but it seemed his insides were flooded.

“Keep him down.” He did not need to repeat, Isao and her so frozen they wouldn’t have moved if a hurricane hit them. Takeshi wasn’t contacting anymore, now probably not even feeling anything, no strength to scream anymore. Nalin took out some tubes and a small machine and she realised they were meant to suck the blood out, awful noise filling the room as he put them inside his chest and stomach. But the blood kept on coming, only slowing down a little when he poured some liquid over it, the machine continuing on working, bag filling with more and more blood.

She heard the sound of an ambulance.

**

Isao thought nothing worse than what they already did to Takeshi would happen, but seeing him on the hospital bed with doctors around him and Nalin, forcing tubes in his mouth to suck the blood out of his throat and lungs, Takeshi choking, crying from pain and body shaking as they held him down, Takeshi desperately trying to make them stop… 

God.

Nobu stood behind him, hands tight on his shoulders, as they starred at his fiancée from behind a window separating them from the hospital room.

“He’s going to be okay.” Nobu rubbed his arms, trying to make him relax at least a little. “Everything is going to be okay.”

When Takeshi’s head lolled to the side and his eyes caught Isao’s, so tired and full of pain, so red and wet from tears, so ready to give up, he could feel as if a hand grabbed his heart and squeezed. He felt as if Takeshi was begging him to stop everything.

Don’t give up, love. Please. Just a few more minutes…

He didn’t hear the sound of machine giving out warning signs, but suddenly saw Nalin’s thin hands catching Takeshi’s small face and putting another tube in his mouth, this one so he could breath, Takeshi’s eyes open terrified, hands shaking visibly now until their doctor caught them both in a grasp.

They’ve covered the wound for the transport but now it was opened again, Takeshi drugged with morphine for once, but Isao believed at this point it wasn’t even only pain.

They focused on his middle, clearly looking for the causes, so many goddamn tubes and colorful cables attached to machines everywhere keeping Takeshi alive, that Isao wondered which organs did not fail yet.

He was on the bed like a lifeless doll, only his eyes showing he was alive.

**

Isao wasn’t sure how long they were stood with Nobu until other men showed up too, only Akira and Kin going home to the kids that they did not let come to the hospital.

They saw enough.

James and Iwao looked horrified, with the first freezing by the window not saying a word.

“What happened?” Iwao asked quietly.

Nobu wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to talk by Isao and James, so he pushed Iwao to the side, explaining what they knew. But they knew little.

Nalin walked out of the room, looking a little sick himself.

“And?” Isao asked him quickly, just for a moment taking his eyes off Takeshi.

“He started bleeding because the poison burned his organs.” Nalin explained softly. “It works like acid. But it seems that for now it stopped, because it’s been an hour and there’s no further damage.”

“Thank God.” Nobu squeezed Isao’s arm. “So now he will start healing?”

“Organs know how to repair, with medical help he will.” Nalin nodded. “But it will take time.”

“But with the poison still being in his body…”

“That’s the problem. We need to get rid of it, or… who knows.” Nalin stopped. “If it continued, it would have started burning his bones.”

“You said you’ve got a cure,” Isao whispered.

The men looked quickly at Nalin.

“I hope I do, but I can’t give it to him now. He’s weak enough. Needs to gain strength first.”

“What if the poison will attack again before…”

“I don’t know.” Nalin shook his head. “We just need to pray that time will be given to us.”

They stood silent, looking towards the room where Takeshi was slowly being sewed back together. His eyes were on them, watching them probably figuring out what they were saying, checking how worried they were to judge from their faces how bad he was. James not moving since he came, hand on the glass, Isao with Nobu holding his arm tight, Iwao by them, and Nalin on the side, a small sad smile on his face.

**

Kisumi wrapped his arms around Ren’s middle and curled up to him. They were sat under a blanket on the sofa in Takeshi’s living room, Sousuke and Yori on the second one, straight starring at the TV currently turned off. They were both pale.

Isao’s mother brought tea for them a while ago, but even she did not touch it. She was lucky enough to come home late and not see… or maybe she saw the worst, the blood covering the white spotless carpets and sheets, and both of her sons, as she always considered Takeshi one, gone.

Kin and Akira knew absolutely nothing, Ren and Yori shortly explained what happened to them too, and now they were waiting in the dark, just a small light on.

When they heard the front door starting to open, they jumped up. Nalin quickly lifted his hands to calm them down, their hearts beating quickly in fear. “He’s alive.”

“How is he?” Kin asked.

“Stable,” he answered. “We’ve put him back together, hopefully it will only get better now.” He stopped seeing Sousuke standing up. The kid looked like he saw a ghost.

“How did it happen?” Sousuke walked up to them. “What caused it?”

“We don’t know.” Nalin cut it short. It wasn’t exactly a lie. “That’s the biggest problem.”

**

Isao stroked Takeshi’s thin hand, careful of the IV. Takeshi’s eyes were covered and the bandage around his sunken cheeks kept the tube inside his mouth along the small one still taking care of the internal bleeding. Cables attached to his chest going straight to the monitor showing the stable heartbeat, blood pressure checker around his arm, so many IVs, one keeping him hydrated, another taking care of all the lost blood, Isao wasn’t sure what others were for. Morphine? Antibiotics? The bandages here and there around his hands and arms keeping the cannulas attached, Takeshi’s veins weak. The blanket only covered him up to his hips, the chest and stomach wrapped in a bandage with more tubes within, coming out of the now sewed cut.

He looked like in his worst nightmares.

Isao had enough of this year. It was meant to be a highlight with Takeshi finally becoming himself, them getting back together, Sousuke and Takeshi taking care of their bond…

But it was mixed with so many awful accidents that Isao irrationally began to wonder whether Takeshi had to pay for every single happy moment in his life. And that to pay the highest price.

When Takeshi was cold, he was going forward with not many terrible things happening, once he came back to his real self, all the troubles started. It was like he knew what was going to happen when he’d become himself again.

Maybe he knew something that nobody else did?

He always felt like Takeshi was hiding something that explained everything.

Would he put it past Takeshi to sacrifice himself for life full of horrors just to make them happy, and himself, at least sometimes?

No, he would not.

Isao let go off his hand for a moment to rub his eyes, shaking his head. What was he even thinking about?

He looked at James sleeping peacefully by Takeshi with his cheek on the space by his head and hand on his arm. He did not say a word since he came to the hospital, just starred at Takeshi speechless and terrified, hand caressing his arm when they finally let them inside the room, masks covering their mouths to protect Takeshi.

Everybody was always curious why Takeshi’s friends were so different from each other and yet together so loyal to him. Like a family. When they joked that Takeshi collects “weirdos” it wasn’t far from the truth. Isao became his bodyguard and a boxer even though he spent his childhood fighting against the idea, wanting to study instead and live in peace. He fallen in love with a person who became everything he did not want to be involved with but he did not care anymore. James was a freaking cannibal, not knowing how to sit still, yet turned into fluff for Takeshi. Akira, the dancer from the street, now fighting to be by boss’ side he was saved by. Nobu, highly religious person, yet one of Takeshi’s biggest protectors ready to use his contacts and money to their advantage. Kin the crazy dude who you would never trust, yet Takeshi did, and he became their money launderer and drug seller. A man who only cared about money learned to love. Iwao, one nobody would have made contact with, family labelled with the ugliest names since his grandfather started their business based on brothels and prostitutes, going as far as trafficking humans. But for Takeshi, Iwao was a brother.

Takeshi treated them like family, used their dark side, loved their good side.

Nobody expected him to stop fighting with Nalin who was the biggest enigma Isao still did not understand. Yet here he was saving Takeshi’s life again.

But it was Takeshi’s charm. People just fell for him and never regretted.

Takeshi thought he will prepare everything for them and his death won’t make a change. It’s like he never understood how much he meant to them. Of course loved ones die and people move on, but it was different. He made them family. He kept them together. Takeshi was the base, the point, the purpose. Without him nothing would make sense anymore.

Isao furrowed his eyebrows, noticing the little black mark behind Takeshi ear as he started petting his hair. He pushed them a little to the side and looked closer, the tiny flower, a poppy, becoming visible.

He did not understand.

There was no way he did not notice it before.

Isao looked quickly to the side as Nalin walked in, closing the door behind himself quietly.

“How is he?” He did not need to ask, eyes on the monitors telling him everything.

“Is the mark behind his ear your job?” Isao asked. He really was too tired to play around the subject.

Nalin did not seem surprised that he noticed already. “Yes.”

Isao wasn’t sure what he was meant to ask next. What was this about?

“I haven’t done it because I’m a schizo who couldn’t wait to put a mark on your fiancée, because I’m just oh so possessive of him,” he answered the unasked question sarcastically. “I helped him and it was a side-effect, and this needs to be a sufficient answer for you.”

Isao felt the sting on his cheek. He did not need to be slapped. “I am sorry for calling you that. I was told he is dying and I flipped out on you for no reason.” Well, he thought he had a reason…

“You’re not sorry.” The corner of Nalin’s mouth lifted. “You thought he trusted me and I used it against him to murder him.” He cocked his head, quiet for a second. “I lost it when my father died, went through hell which only made it worse. As you know, Takeshi was always the only person I truly liked and trusted, but I pushed him away and then did not know how to get him back. I was sick, so my methods were too.”

“You tried to kill him. Not once.”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that he always survived. And how I never died either.”

“He could have. You could have.”

“Maybe.”

Isao looked at him who was standing at the end of the bed, watching Takeshi. Sometimes he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. He usually did not understood Takeshi’s relationships and he did not need to. He only had to care when they could hurt him.

Nalin looked tired and after a few moments sat on the armchair in the corner of the room, wrapping his arms around himself.

“Why him?” Isao asked.

“Funny you ask me that, Mr-I-will-punch-you-in-the-face-if-you-look-at-my-fiancée.”

“I only punch when they cross the line and don’t understand his ‘no’.” Isao corrected him.

“Right, you did not murder Shiro, after all.”

Isao snorted. He did not bother to ask. “I did not murder you either.”

“You always look at the wrong people.”

Isao looked back and Nalin smiled. “Shiro.”

“He doesn’t love him.”

A smirk. “Everybody falls for Takeshi eventually.”

**

Isao stood by the window, watching people passing by, one man in a Santa Claus suit.

It was Christmas.

Trees decorated in colourful lights, first snow, kids playing a snow-ball fight… He even heard Christmas songs someone played outside when he opened the window for a few minutes to let the fresh air in.

He sat by Takeshi who was thinning on his eyes. Still in a coma, which Nalin said was good because he was healing faster and not suffering meanwhile. But it was difficult to not have him really here on such day.

He knew Takeshi planned to make it so lovely for all of them, starting with Christening, through beautiful Christmas and full of fun New Year. Now everybody was at home, his mother taking care of food they never finished preparing, James and Nalin and wives helping her as the kids put the Christmas decorations on. The men were probably already drinking trying to relax themselves and pretend to be happy.

They did not want to celebrate Christmas at home. The first idea was to come to the hospital and spend the evening here. No food, drinks, nothing, all of them in a sterile room.

But together.

The doctor was apologetic but it was too risky. So every single one of them made sure to visit this day separately, kiss Takeshi’s forehead or cheek, touch or hold his hand, whisper something… His mother sat for a while, stroking his tiny cheek, telling him to keep strong and come back quickly so they could have Christmas again. Just for him. And promising him to make sure none of his preparations would go to waste, and they will sit together this day. Just as he wished.

It broke Isao’s heart.

Takeshi wanted it to be special because he thought it was their last Christmas together.

He deserved this Christmas, but the poison did not even let him live up to this day. He felt his hands curling into fists, tears threatening to escape.

No. Don’t think that.

Isao closed his eyes and opened after a while, turned and walked back to Takeshi. He kissed his forehead, then cheek, and the hand he later pressed to his cheek.

“Merry Christmas, doll.”

**

Isao jerked awake when he felt Takeshi’s hand moving in his, but he did not need to say anything, Nalin already by him, hair a complete mess and three lines on his cheek probably from the sleeve pressed to it during the night he stayed at the hospital. Even James seemed wide-awake, not a zombie as every morning. The three lucky ones whose turn it was to watch over.

“Shh, careful.” Nalin took the bandage off Takeshi’s eyes, now disoriented looking up at him. “I will take one tube out but we need to leave the thinner one in. Just breathe slowly and evenly, okay?” Takeshi nodded, coughing and cringing from pain, clearly uncomfortable but after a few moments learning how to breathe with it. “Sorry, but it is only for a few more hours. Don’t talk until then, just rest.”

He didn’t need to tell, Takeshi fell asleep soon after.

“He looks so sick,” James said, voice sad as he stroked his arm soothingly. Those cannulas had to hurt too.

They looked at James, not knowing what to say. It wasn’t surprising to see him so broken, but it was clear that James really chose denial a few weeks ago.

It was a harsh awakening.

**

Takeshi looked around himself, trying not to move anything but his head. His body hurt and he knew he was drugged with lots of morphine because everything seemed a little… unreal.

Or maybe it was the pain.

He had the annoying nasal cannula on and tried to take it out only to have his hand caught. He opened his eyes again surprised, noticing Nalin.

“No touching.” Nalin chuckled hearing frustrated mumbling. “And don’t speak too much, your throat is still very sore. Don’t move either, I cut you open.”

“Thanks.” His voice really was hoarse.

“I’ve also managed to kick everybody out, even your… Eh. They’re all equal trouble.”

Takeshi smiled. “That’s why you’re happy.”

Nalin smiled peacefully. “I won’t tell whether I did it because they were so tired and needed rest, or because I was getting sick of being within people for too long.”

Takeshi would laugh if he had strength. He heard Nalin humming quietly, putting his hand on his forehead. “You’re getting better pretty quickly. Well, I am not too surprised about that…” He leaned on his elbow he put on the bed, sitting sideways to face Takeshi properly.

It took Takeshi a moment, brain drugged and exhausted. But he smiled, finally.

“I knew it. All this time…” And Nalin felt his shoulders relaxing, the mystery keeping him so curious for years finally resolved.

He had so many questions.

**

“James…” Takeshi smiled when the man, boy really, put his hand around him and head on his chest, careful of the cut. “I’m okay…” He knew James was so tense because he was trying to hold back tears.

“You weren’t.” His shoulders shook and he stopped caring about tears. “You were so ill.”

“But now I am fine.” Takeshi stroked his curly hair, and smiled again when he felt soft lips against his forehead. Isao stole a quick kiss on the lips too, grinning.

“Welcome back, love.”

Thank God.

**

Takeshi looked at his phone, going through his messages. He was asleep for a while, not remembering those quick moments he was waking up, but apparently they kept his family sane.

He slept through Christmas and New Year. The Christmas he was preparing so much for, wanted his family to have a happy peaceful time for once. For the last time.

It’s been so long since they actually spend proper Christmas together. But from what he knew, they were together that night. Just not Isao.

Maybe it was for the better, them having first Christmas without him yet knowing he is alive, safe in a hospital. They survived without him, knowing he is there, just not with them. They will survive without him, knowing he isn’t there…

When his phone rang, he picked up quickly, trying to untangle himself from all the cables and IVs.

“Hello?” His voice was still off.

“Hey, you dick.” He recognised Shiro. “How was Christmas and New Year? I gather pretty busy since you did not even text me back.”

“I’m not a dick, I was a bit… off.” Takeshi tried to lift himself a little but stopped. “What was your text about?”

A snort. “I wished you nice Christmas, that’s all.”

Takeshi smiled surprised. “I guess your wish came a little late,” he joked. “Thank you, though.”

“You okay?” Shiro seemed busy with something, a bit of chatter around him.

“Yeah. Where are you?”

“Dude, I’m shopping. My cook got stuck abroad. This is terrible.”

Takeshi tried not to laugh out loud, shoulders shaking. “Welcome to the real world.”

“Why is there a banana packed in foil? Why are there already boiled eggs for sale? What is this?”

Takeshi did laugh this time, quickly regretting as pain struck his middle and he let go off his phone to wrap his hands around himself automatically, choking on his breath. He heard Shiro’s concerned voice, but it took him a few seconds of steady breathing to put the phone back to his ear.

“Takeshi?”

“I’m fine,” he said quietly, closing his eyes. It’s only been a few days, he was still getting really weak quickly.

“No, you’re not. What happened to you?”

“Got a bit worse…”

“You did not text me for a week.” At the beginning he had to wonder whether Takeshi simply did not care to, but he was placing the puzzles together.

“I’m at the hospital,” Takeshi said finally, knowing he was speaking with a lawyer after all. “I got really sick.”

“Are you in the centre?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I will be there in a moment.”

“What!”

**

Shiro never texted Takeshi any special Christmas wishes. It wasn’t like he even celebrated them in the first place. Christmas for him was holiday where he could go abroad to some sweet hotel. And there he could eat, drink, sleep, and relax.

But he knew this Christmas was special for Takeshi, so he felt like wishing him well. Over the past few weeks their relationship became more than just fucking when they felt like it. No, he wasn’t falling in love. He knew very well that Takeshi had a fiancée and last thing on his mind was trying to tear them apart.

Even if he were madly in love he wouldn’t dare.

Takeshi loved Isao. As easy as that.

But when they spent more time together and talked about Takeshi’s life, and the tragedy of it ending, it was difficult to stay cold if you were simply human. He always liked him, just never knew much about him apart from what he was capable of as a mafia boss. Now Takeshi felt like a friend.

The bodyguards standing in front of the room let him in without a question, so he had to let them know.

He walked in unsure, now realising he didn’t know what to expect. And he regretted not preparing himself.

Takeshi looked like hell he could not recognise at first. It wasn’t… him.

He was asleep and Shiro walked up closer. There were so many tubes and cables everywhere he carefully moved the chair closer and sat by. Takeshi’s chest was covered with a bandage, peaking above the blanket brought across it.

When he said ‘sick’ Shiro imagined something else.

Takeshi always had delicate hands, but now they were tiny, sickly skinny. All of him… Shiro swallowed hard. There were so many bruises on his arms that for a minute he thought someone attacked him, but he realised they were from cannulas they had to often move, veins giving up. Even now those attached were held with bandage.

Blood pressure checker on his arm, pulse controller on his finger, heart monitor… morphine, antibiotics, blood…

Jesus…

When Takeshi moved a little, head turning left in his sleep, he saw the dark shadows underneath his eyes, cracked lips and sunken cheeks. The black shawl around his head only made the contrast worse.

Takeshi blinked his eyes open, disoriented, finally focusing on him. He smiled, a soft lift of the corner of his lips. “Sorry, forgot to put make up on.”

Shiro laughed, but it sounded desperate to his ears.

“Goodness. Are you okay?”

What a stupid question. But Takeshi smiled. “Had my better days.”

“What happened?”

Takeshi sighed tiredly. “That poison released acid that burned my insides and I got awful internal bleeding. Like, vomiting blood and all.” He winced, just remembering. He recalled everything… “Nalin cut me open, that’s why I need to lie straight and not move. And they put tubes in my mouth to suck the blood out that’s why my voice is off.”

“Cut you open?” he asked weakly.

Takeshi moved his finger from the bottom of his stomach to the top of his chest. He chuckled seeing Shiro’s terrified face and looked him in the eyes. “You don’t need to be here.”

Shiro shook his head. “I am sorry.” He rubbed his temples. “It was a shock, that’s all.” He took a deep breath in and slowly let it out, calming down. “So you’ve missed Christmas and New Year, huh?”

“Yes.” Takeshi seemed upset to him. “Thankfully Isao’s mom took care of everything, and they stayed together.”

“That’s nice.” Shiro smiled. Okay, maybe he was starting to see why Takeshi was so hooked up on the whole idea of family. He still did not want one. “I went to Austria. Once you get out of here you should take Isao there while it’s still snowing so much.”

“He deserves a long holiday after everything he went through with me.” Takeshi chuckled. Shiro wouldn’t exactly put the blame on him, because it was either Nalin or Isao’s father who fucked him over lately from what he knew. “I don’t think we will ever go anywhere together anymore, though...” he whispered and closed his eyes. It was clear to Shiro that he was losing strength quickly, only a few minutes of conversation weakening him visibly.

“What are you talking about, you fool?” Shiro took his hand in his, cold and tiny in his big and warm.

“The poison does not let me fully recover.” Takeshi shrugged. “I’m meant to be getting worse with every day and every attack, not better.”

“But they did heal you…”

“I break, they fix me, but never fully. Every time will be more difficult, leaving more damage until it’s unfixable. But the poison mainly focuses on weakening me, so it lets them put me back together.” He opened his eyes and looked at him. “If not Nalin then that attack would have killed me. His drugs will keep me on my legs for a while. But I will keep on getting worse, not better.”

“I’m sure they will find a way.” Shiro’s eyes focused on his face for a moment, quickly coming back to his hand. He always liked his delicate hands. Thin, long fingers, soft with sharp nails.

He knew Takeshi was talking to him so emotionlessly about his death because he thought he did not care. Of course he fucking cared. It hurt to watch him now, he could not imagine him getting worse.

Or dying.

Takeshi looked to the side hearing the door getting opened, Shiro smoothly letting go off his hand. Isao walked in, only for a moment stopping, mouth in a thin line. But he sighed to himself and sat on Takeshi’s free side and put the bag by the nightstand.

Takeshi smiled at him. “Your mom never gives up.”

Isao chuckled. “I did explain to her that you couldn’t eat yet, so she packed you little dumplings because they’re the easiest to swallow.”

“I love your mom,” Takeshi mumbled, fighting against sleep for a while now, but his eyes closed against his wish as his cheek touched the pillow. There was nothing he had to worry about with him by his side.

Isao smiled, caressing his arm soothingly.

After a few minutes, ensured Takeshi is asleep, he looked at Shiro who was focused on Takeshi, looking like he was fighting with himself about something.

“Shiro.”

His eyes caught his quickly.

“I know what you and Takeshi are doing.” The way his body tensed gave him some satisfaction. “I’m not okay with it, but I’m ready to make sacrifices in this situation. But the second I’d sense you even think about trying to steal him from me, I will kill you.”

Shiro smiled. “You are a fool if you think my feelings matter here.” He smirked seeing him confused. “He loves you. You have no idea what he was and still is capable of doing for you.” He stood up, taking one last look at Takeshi, touching his hand lightly. “Take care of him, he needs you.”

**

“Dad?” Sousuke peaked from behind the door and quickly walked in seeing he wasn’t asleep. He breathed out in relief seeing him half lying, a zip up hoodie on, opened to let the doctors have easy access to the bandages, cables and IVs. His dad still looked sick, so freaking thin it hurt to look at him, but at least he was awake.

“Hey, kiddo.”

Sousuke bent to hug him, closing his eyes for a moment feeling the bony back, the ribs and spine with his hand. Yesterday when he saw Isao so carefully helping his dad sat up, he thought it was the wound he was worried about, not whole body at his point. Considering how strong Isao was, he had to be terrified of breaking him at this point.

“Hey.” He sat on the bed by his hip. “How do you feel?”

He smiled. At least the gruesome bruises under his eyes were lightening. “Better. Why, not much fun playing the boss?”

Sousuke laughed. “I’m not playing the boss.”

“No, you are actually being one.” Takeshi grinned. “I’m proud of you.”

Sousuke shook his head. “I just got more involved, as I should have a long time ago already. I’m far from being a boss.”

Takeshi cocked his head and then moved a little to the side, patting the space by him, showing him to lie down by him. Sousuke did careful of the cables and IVs.

“Nobody becomes a boss over night,” Takeshi said quietly. “You’ve got your boys under control, that’s the most important part. Then it’s mainly paperwork.” 

“Sure.” Sousuke laughed. If it were so easy… “I wouldn’t say I have them under control. We’re okay with each other. It’s not like we’re in a war that is testing us, or whatever.”

“Don’t be so keen, soon you might be able to find out what your men are made of. As curious as you are…” Takeshi sighed. “In some sick way it is interesting to see, but trust me you want to stay children as long as possible.”

Sousuke turned on his side, but his dad kept his eyes on the ceiling. “You never wanted to be a boss, right?”

“I wanted to do something completely different. But I am happy that I managed to take what I needed to do and mixed it with what I wanted to do. I think I’m a pretty good boss.” Takeshi grinned.

“You can be vain all you want, all I heard lately was ‘your father would…’, ‘you father this…’, ‘your father that…’” Sousuke shook his head with a smile.

“Well, remember that at the end of the day they will have to listen to you or die.”

Sousuke cocked his eyebrow. “How did you manage to make people loyal to you, so many love you, while being cold and ruthless at the same time? Like… How did you know they were your friends, not just people scared of you? I don’t know…”

“I’ve met Isao before finding out who he really is,” Takeshi chuckled. “Rest of the boys were sons of your grandfather’s friends, so I knew them a little… Just like you became friends with your boys. Luckily we actually grew to like each other and they kept up with me when I tried to reach the top. First we were friends, then best friends, finally became a family. It took time, and many tests and arguments.”

They looked right, Sousuke turning to see who opened the door and walked in. They smiled seeing Isao and Kisumi.

“Comfortable, huh?” Kisumi grinned and ran to climb up the bed and wrap himself around Takeshi who chuckled and put his arm around him. “Hi.”

“Nice to see you, kid.” Takeshi petted his fluffy pink hair.

“Pussy finally got his shit together.” Sousuke snorted, lifting himself on his elbow.

Isao snorted seeing Kisumi’s frustrated face and sat on the chair by him after placing a quick kiss on Takeshi’s lips. “We need to have such moments without one of you being sick for once.” He looked at Takeshi and Sousuke.

They nodded at once.

“So.” Sousuke started again. “We were talking about the formation of the gang. Will you finally tell us the story of you two meeting? You never really got into details.”

Isao and Takeshi exchanged flirty smiles.

“Guys!”

A laugh.

“I was performing at Underground and Isao visited with his nerd friends.”

“Hey!” Isao laughed. “We weren’t nerds.”

Takeshi was trying not to laugh himself. “They were literally that awkward bunch who never touched a girl or had alcohol in their lives, all they knew was to how sniff a book. I still remember this one guy’s dancing skills.” Takeshi put his hand over his heart. “Terrifying.”

“We were far from being adults, so it wasn’t exactly wrong, you know.” Isao smiled. It was nice to come back to the old times. Then their biggest problem was to hide how much they loved each other. Now they finally did not have to. But at what price? Even if not everything was linked to their coming out, especially what was happening to Takeshi now…

Isao furrowed his eyebrows. What if it was?

“So a bunch of skinny nerds with awkward moves in an underground club full of gangsters sniffing in drugs and getting shitfaced. I love it.” Kisumi always knew his father as an epitome of manliness so the image in his head was hilarious.

“Your dad surely looked better than the rest of them.” Takeshi chuckled. “And he sat by the bar instead of making a fool of himself trying to flirt with ladies twenty years older than him.”

“I sat by the bar because it had the best view.” Isao admitted.

“Best view for what?” Takeshi asked confused.

“The stage.”

Another laugh.

“Was it love at first sight, then?” Kisumi turned on his front and lifted on elbows, dreamy look on his face. He loved those kinds of stories.

“Your father doesn’t believe in love at first sight.” Takeshi rolled his eyes.

“Shush.” Isao shook his head. “I fell for you the moment I saw you, but I like thinking that really getting to know you made me fall in love with you.” He could still remember how Takeshi looked, moved, spoke…

“Same thing, dad.”

Isao sighed. No it wasn’t. First he saw how beautiful Takeshi was, then he talked with him and found out how amazing his personality was, and finally went to hell and back with him, ensuring him it was the truest love.

“First comes crush, then comes love.” Takeshi winked to him, seeing his frustration.

“How did you like dad if he looked like a nerd, though?” Kisumi giggled.

“He was a very cute nerd.” Takeshi answered seriously.

“I didn’t look like a nerd, I just didn’t go to the gym that much.” Isao shrugged.

Takeshi smiled. “Yeah, you were this pretty, slim, curly blonde boy.” His little angel. Not that he would say this part! But it was something when he realised this boy would be his protector, bodyguard… Guardian Angel.

“I thought you like them men a bit more…” Kisumi tensed his non-existent bicep.

“I was fifteen, Kisumi,” Takeshi chuckled.

“So you did not want to be a boxer from the beginning?” Sousuke asked Isao.

“Not at all. I did not want to be a bodyguard either.” Isao snorted.

“But then you thought, ah why not!” Kisumi giggled again, hiding his face in Takeshi’s hoodie.

“When we met at the club, we both introduced ourselves with fake names.” Isao smiled remembering. “So we found out who we really are later.”

“I thought you spent holidays together?” Sousuke asked confused.

“We did when we were little, so when we met at the club we did not recognise each other,” Takeshi explained. “We kept the facade until our fathers introduced us to each other. Nearly a year later.”

Kisumi’s jaw dropped and then he started laughing. “I can imagine your faces.”

“I wanted to laugh, but your father looked so terrified I knew there’s something wrong.”

“Right, because he wouldn’t have told you that he hates the idea of being a bodyguard.”

“Exactly.”

“So you changed your mind when you saw whose bodyguard you are actually meant to be?” Kisumi grinned at his dad.

“Didn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore.” Isao rested his cheek on the top of his hand. He saw Takeshi that day, that tiny boy, that mischievous imp looking at him with big eyes, earlier so unsure and suddenly brightening up looking at him like at a dream. He understood why they were both so nervous on the previous day, why Takeshi was so upset. Takeshi did not want to have his life changed, but he knew he has no choice. When he saw the hope in his eyes, seeing Isao as his only strength…

He knew he has no choice either. He’d do everything for him.

Takeshi was looking at him now with a small smile on his face, one hand around Sousuke’s arm keeping him by his side, other hand playing with Kisumi’s pink hair. Isao knew he was thinking of that moment, too.

He promised himself to protect him with his life… and here he was on the hospital bed, so small that it looked like the boys should be taking care of him instead. Takeshi always seemed very young for his age, so when he got sick, lost weight and hair, and he put the shawl around his head plus usually Isao’s big hoodie over his small body, he really resembled a fragile doll.

He was used to him slim and Takeshi felt most comfortable with such weight, but now he was sickly skinny. He just wanted more flesh on him, strength that would let him be happy, healthy pink colour on his cheeks. Not overwhelming weakness that was making his thin hands shake and eyes close after just a few minutes of being awake.

“Then we started training together, getting to know each other properly to really be able to help each other.”

“You had an excuse to meet, huh?”

“Still wasn’t enough.” Isao smiled, making Takeshi chuckle. Sometimes their fathers were watching, so they had to be professional. Sometimes they weren’t there and he made sure to get to know Takeshi’s body in every detail.

Just like on the first night… He wanted to live it all again.

“Please tell me you did the whole thing of sneaking through the window to his bedroom.” Kisumi was back in his dreamy state.

Sousuke slapped his hand over his eyes in embarrassment.

“Well there was a tree right by Takeshi’s window.” Isao admitted.

“Oh my God.” Kisumi looked at Sousuke. “Can you believe this? A few months ago we’d never even guess.”

Sousuke grinned. It was surreal, really.

He was mostly quiet throughout the conversation, lying close to Takeshi just listening, watching his father, who was smiling and joking with them, but barely moving, absolutely no strength in him. When he put his hand on his arm Sousuke starred scared at how bruised it was, skin on bones.

There was something really bad happening to his dad, and nobody wanted to tell him anything.

But he was done with sitting quiet.

He was going to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the subscriptions, comments, likes, reblogs, kudos, and messages :)


	63. Yamazaki Grave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isao, his strength, looked at his father now trying to stop tears.
> 
> “Why do you hate us so much?” Isao asked, voice choked. It was such a cold, quiet day, and they stood within the graves looking at each other like at reflections. “You’re standing here over the grave of someone you loved and lost so early. You know how it feels. You know exactly how it feels!” Isao shook his head, eyes full of hate and brokenness. “And yet you look at Takeshi and want him to be laid here next. You want him to be in agony and die at a young age, just like his father. You want me to stand here, with you, next year, suffering like you do since you have lost him…”
> 
> “I don’t…” he said quietly.
> 
> “Yes, you fucking do!” Isao shouted.

“You should go home to sleep.” Takeshi turned on his side and looked at Isao making himself comfortable on the armchair put right by his hospital bed. “This can’t be comfortable.”

Over the past few weeks that he spent at the hospital, Isao left his side sometimes, but never for the night. The exhaustion was clear on his face.

“I prefer to be uncomfortable but sleeping by you than alone at home.” Isao grabbed the water bottle and took a sip. It was dark outside and they only had a little lamp turned on.

He tried to sleep without Takeshi once. When he went home, took a shower and lay down on the bed, it took him seconds to miss the koala wrapping his arms around his middle, cold nose pressed to his shoulder, and the freezing feet touching his, only warming up after a few minutes of being stuck to his side, and Takeshi’s quiet purring when Isao stroked his hair, hugging Takeshi tight when nightmares took over his dreams, and never telling him that he cries sometimes or that he lies over Isao, becoming the sweetest weight.

Isao watched him shuffling to his right, making space between them and patting the pillow. “Sleep with me tonight.”

“You know I can’t, darling.” Isao smiled. Of course he wanted to be by him, he missed holding Takeshi so badly…

“Yes, you can.”

“The doctor said…”

“A few weeks ago.” Takeshi grinned. “Because of all the machines I was attached to.” He grabbed the few cables and pushed them behind himself. “Now most are gone, so.” He patted the bed again.

Isao took his shoes off and moved to lie by him, careful to not hurt Takeshi. The imp grinned so wide for the first time since the Christening and hugged him tightly as Isao pressed his nose to his wet hair, smelling the shampoo.

He could not sleep because his dreams were full of images of Takeshi bleeding out on his eyes and choking on his own blood as he held him down. And Takeshi in the hospital begging him to make others stop hurting him as he stood watching, doing nothing. How could he sleep as if it not happened? His dream did not care that he was saving his life. That he was doing the right thing. That Takeshi did not hold it against him. His dream saw him as the torturer.

“You okay?” Takeshi mumbled against his shirt, falling asleep slowly, Isao’s hand caressing his thin back.

“I’m fine.” He kissed the top of his head. Maybe he will fall asleep tonight. Takeshi made everything easier.

**

“Oh, hello you two.” Takeshi bit hip lip trying not to laugh seeing James and Nalin together. At the beginning he was pleasantly surprised that these two became friends, but when he really thought about it, it was quite understandable. They were both sadly the outsiders within the gang, so he was happy they learned to like each other.

They were weirdly similar and not at the same time.

“Hey, my little fairy.” James bent to hug him tight, leaving a wet kiss on his cheek.

“Fairy,” Takeshi whined.

“Shush.”

Takeshi sighed and looked at Nalin who was hiding something behind his back. Nalin cocked an eyebrow when Takeshi tried to peak curiously and finally smiling somewhat shyly unrevealed the flower, one Takeshi never even heard about. But then, he was far from being an expert.

It was a thick stalk with a big flower head on the top, so many petals of various colours that they looked like a rainbow. Takeshi reached for it like an excited kid and pressed it to his nose. It smelled like a peach.

“What is it?” Takeshi wanted hundred of them.

“My own creation.” Nalin sat in his legs as James took the place on the chair.

“Really?” James asked surprised.

He nodded. “Thought you might enjoy some colours.”

Takeshi smiled, smelling the flower again. “Thank you. You can have all of my garden.”

Nalin laughed. “That’s laboratory invention, but once it gets warm we should be able to let them grow in the garden if you want.”

“Of course I do.”

“How do you feel anyway?” James asked, voice quiet.

Takeshi looked at him properly. James looked tired, really tired. He wasn’t sure what he was up to in the past few weeks because he barely visited, so he was concerned.

“Better than you.”

He snorted and rolled his eyes. “I’ve been busy.”

“With?”

James pulled an iPod out of his pocket, the headphones wrapped around it. “You said you are getting bored now that you don’t sleep all the time, so I made you a playlist.” He grinned.

“What have I done that you two are so nice to me?” Takeshi smiled and thanked James. If he made the playlist, then he needed a few hours to just close his eyes and listen to it, because it definitely wasn’t just the latest hits.

“Nearly dying makes people feel sorry for you,” Nalin answered honestly.

“Thanks, Nalin.”

“It’s science.”

**

Takeshi closed his eyes, the music starting slowly. It was surprising, because James loved his rock. He could create beautiful, real music. Takeshi always told him to make ballads, but James was a rockman. ‘I’m not here for romantic, cheesy shit, fairy.’

This wasn’t cheesy. This was gorgeous. Every little note played on the guitar made sense, the sad songs were tugging at his heart strings, the happier making him smile, and finally the lullabies, goodness he really had a song on the list called “Takeshi’s lullaby”, lulling him to sleep.

He cracked a smile seeing Shiro sitting by him when he opened his eyes after a while. He wasn’t sure how long he was asleep.

“Nice of you to finally wake up.” Shiro put the Gameboy back on the bedside cabinet.

“Please tell me you’ve passed that annoying level…”

“Sure, first time.”

Takeshi gave him a look.

“Second.” He shrugged. “After I youtubed how to do it on my phone.”

“But that’s unfair!” If this is how he wanted to do it, he could have done it himself!

“What’s the difference, I did it, it wouldn’t be playing the game fair either way.”

Well, he had a point.

“What are you doing here?” Takeshi rubbed his eyes tiredly.

“I need you to sign a few documents.” He grabbed the file from his case and handed to him.

“You’re not in your work clothes.” Takeshi noticed letting him put it on his lap. He felt dizzy.

Shiro was wearing a black jumper, all comfortable and relaxed, hair not slick but fluffy on the side.

“No…?”

“And you’ve waited until I woke up.” Takeshi was suspicious.

“I thought I will drop by after work, is that a bad thing?” Shiro cocked his head.

“No…?”

“Why you’re all so obsessed with me?”

“Why you’re quoting ‘mean girls’?”

“Because you all think I’m a mean girl who will steal you from Isao? I am not trying to interfere, seriously.”

Takeshi smiled. “People are stupid and blame the seduced, not the one who actually has someone he should be loyal to.”

“Wait, are you on my side?” Shiro blinked surprised.

“Isao is on your side. He said it is my responsibility to be loyal to him, not yours, which just… made me fall in love with him a little bit more.”

“He said he will kill me if I will fall in love with you.” He pointed out.

“Well, scaring you off at the same time wouldn’t hurt.”

“I. Don’t. Love. You.”

“Now you’re breaking my heart, Shiro.”

“Fuck off!”

Takeshi laughed, seeing his frustration. Shiro really wanted a good fuck and to not be involved into any drama. Takeshi knew how it felt not wanting to be involved in something and everybody trying to involve you in it.

Fucking. Annoying.

“Can you sign the papers?” Shiro growled.

“If you will help me sit up.”

“I thought you feel better.” Shiro said surprised and sat by him on the bed to help him move into a sitting position. Worried he kept his arm around his shoulders as Takeshi closed his eyes and lost any little colour he regained in the past few weeks on his face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” Takeshi put his weight on his hands, stable on the sides of his hips. He blamed it on spending most of his days in horizontal position lately. At least the bruise did not sting anymore.

Nalin was a genius.

He lifted his head and looked at Shiro, nearly bumping his nose into his. “Want to kiss me?”

“I don’t love you.”

“You do a little.”

“I hate you and I get off on it.”

Takeshi giggled. He forgot how much fun Shiro could be. Especially to annoy.

“Give me a pen.”

He did, keeping one hand on his back. Takeshi really seemed unstable, hand shaking as he signed whatever he told him to. That’s when he realised he really did not feel well, because he always read beforehand.

“Don’t they feed you here?” He could see that Takeshi had lost a lot of weight by just simply looking at his face, but now holding him… He felt every single rib and worried he could break him if he squeezed just a little too tight. And Takeshi had a zip up hoodie on. He was a strong dude, while Takeshi was… breakable.

He loved Takeshi looking like a ballerina, so pretty, small, and flexible. He was easy to pick up, carry… have sex wherever and however. But now he was plainly malnourished and he wondered why they were letting it happen.

“They want to,” Takeshi murmured. He really had to lie down, black dots covering his vision.

“Ah.” Right, he just did not eat. He knew he was weird about food. “You need a few kilograms more on your body, you know. You look unsexy.”

“Unsexy.”

Shiro shrugged. “It might not be your priority now, but I’m pretty sure Isao has withdrawals.”

“Are you suggesting I should eat, so I would look good enough to bend over again?”

“I’m suggesting you should eat, so he won’t break your bones when he will bend you over.”

There was a sound of door being opened and Isao popped in, rolling his eyes seeing Shiro.

“Wow, you really have a sixth sense.” Shiro whistled pretending to be shocked.

“I could always feel it in my bones when a jerk showed up by Takeshi.” Isao came closer.

“Guys…”

“We were talking about sex.” Shiro smiled smugly.

“Don’t make me punch you in the face while you’re holding up my fiancée.” Isao sat close to Takeshi, facing him. His little face brightened up when he saw him, eyes never leaving his.

“This is why I’m never nice.” Shiro sighed.

“He was actually telling me to gain weight, so you won’t break me when you will ‘bent me over the table’.” Takeshi corrected.

“I didn’t mention the table, you kinky shit.” Shiro snorted.

Isao cocked an eyebrow. “But did it work?”

“No.” Takeshi looked at them in disbelief. “I preferred when you were threatening him.” He admitted.

Isao smiled. “Lie down. You don’t look well.”

“That’s what I mentioned.” Shiro noticed.

“You called me unsexy.”

“You’re always sexy.” Isao said to Takeshi. “And you let him lie down or he will faint in less than a minute.” He turned to Shiro.

Shiro terrified pushed him back on the pillow, making Takeshi scoff.

“Don’t get ill now, the doctor just told me you should be able to go home soon.” Isao pulled the blanket up to his chin.

Takeshi smiled, closing his eyes. “That might be difficult,” he whispered. He wasn’t meant to get much better.

Isao nor Shiro said anything, seeing him falling asleep with the last word. Isao reached for the nasal cannula as he heard the very quiet wheezing, and put it under his nose, lifting his head just a little to not wake him up. It helped him sleep better.

“He’s not going to get better?” Shiro asked quietly.

Isao was quiet for a few seconds. “Not on his own.”

Shiro took Takeshi’s small hand in his, played with his fingers, stroking them softly. Isao let him. He really did not see him as a threat, and maybe he was stupid and naïve, but he sincerely could not give a shit. He had bigger problems. His fiancée was dying on his eyes and he did not know how to save him and feared seeing him waste away with each passing day. Watching him now hurt, and if he thought for a second about what’s coming…

Shiro was least of his problems.

“You look exhausted, man.”

Isao looked at him confused. Why did Shiro try to be friends with him? And talked with Takeshi about their relationship?

“Come on, I am not your enemy.” Shiro rolled his eyes.

“You sleep with my fiancée.”

“Your fiancée seduced me to get information out of me and then slept with me again when he was at a breaking point.” Shiro looked at him.

“He likes you,” Isao said quietly. Maybe that was the reason the little fear in his heart did not want to fully go away.

“Takeshi likes everybody.” Shiro snorted. “He finds people interesting. I’m vain enough to realise that I’m a fascinating case to him. He has no reason to be a jerk to me, so he’s nice.”

“Why do you like him?”

“Because he’s a little sunshine.” Shiro bit the inside of his cheek. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

“I’ve heard it.” They heard a whisper.

Isao cocked an eyebrow. “You’re meant to be asleep.”

“I’m not the one assuming I fall asleep the moment I close my eyes.” Takeshi smiled.

Shiro let go off his hand.

“Felt that, too.” Takeshi grinned.

“Shut up.”

“Who’s the flower from?” Isao asked.

“Nalin.”

Shiro laughed seeing Isao’s face.

“I kind of feel sorry for you, man.” Shiro put his legs on the chair, stretching a little on the bed. “That’s what you get for dating the desirable.”

“Did you just call me desirable?”

“When you weight more, I mean.”

“Yet another obsessed with my weight…” Takeshi growled.

“You can only blame it all on yourself.” Isao smirked. Takeshi liked people, just a little less when they started caring about him.

Takeshi pouted sadly, making them chuckle.

“You don’t feel well, do you?” Isao furrowed his eyebrows. Takeshi didn’t fall asleep which was weird, because he was blacking out moments before.

Takeshi mumbled under his nose, slipping more under the blanket. He shivered, making Isao put the palm of his hand on his forehead.

“You’re warm.”

“My head hurts.” He closed his eyes. Looking made him feel ill.

“Try to get some sleep.” Isao stroked his cheek.

Takeshi kissed his hand quickly and pressed his cheek to it, trying to relax. But he could feel there was something wrong, his body burning up, bones hurting, lungs not wanting to take all the air in…

Isao bent and kissed his forehead.

“Stay for a minute, I will get the doctor.” He said to Shiro, gathering himself up.

“No need.” Nalin closed the door after himself and walked up to them, hand already reaching Takeshi’s forehead. “What’s wrong?”

“Headache.” Takeshi cringed, pressing his fingers to his eyes. He started breathing as evenly as possible, feeling nauseous.

“Close the curtains, please.” Nalin pushed Takeshi’s fingers away, not wanting him to hurt himself and covered his eyes with his hand.

Shiro quickly did as asked, the room becoming dark. Takeshi did relax after a few moments, his cheeks blushed from the fever as Nalin covered his eyes with a cloth.

“What’s going on?” Isao asked him.

“Migraine.” Nalin said simply. “Flu. He’s weak, his immune system is pretty bad, what will make you just sneeze, will make him burn up and possibly die.”

“I’ve always liked your honesty, Nalin,” Takeshi whispered.

Nalin furrowed his eyebrows. “You’re wheezing.”

“My chest hurts.”

“Where does it hurt?” Nalin sat by him as Shiro and Isao shuffled to the back giving him space. He pulled the blanket down and reached for the stethoscope. 

“Everywhere?” It was like the lungs were closing on him, refusing to let him breathe, making it more and more difficult.

The door opened again.

“What’s wrong, Nalin?” The doctor walked up to them, concerned seeing Nalin checking on Takeshi.

“Fluid in his lungs.” Nalin took the cloth off Takeshi’s eyes. “I will inject you to see if it is water, okay?”

“Inject?” Takeshi choked out, Nalin taking the syringe from the doctor, pushing Takeshi’s shirt up and ignoring Shiro’s cringe. He didn’t have time for lessons in what’s appropriate. He knew he was oversensitive, but he hated people commenting or even making a face at things that weren’t the person’s choice. Stupid comments and faces hearing of his mental issues, cringing or sucking in cheeks seeing Takeshi’s thin body…

“It will hurt only a little.” Nalin pressed on the side of his chest, Takeshi wincing visibly. But he had to check whether it wasn’t blood, because if it was then everything was going to hell even faster than he expected.

But it wasn’t. It was water.

“I will get the drain.” The doctor rushed to get the equipment, seeing Takeshi closing his eyes, gasping for air. Nalin quickly put the oxygen mask over his mouth, sensing Isao standing right behind him, watching worriedly.

When the doctor came back and they quickly prepared, Takeshi caught Nalin’s hand weakly and he noticed the fear in his eyes.

“What…” He choked on his breath. What were they going to do to him?

“I will give you a local anaesthesia so you won’t feel it, don’t worry.” Nalin caressed his hand.

“Don’t cut… I don’t…” He shook his head quickly. Not again, please…

Oh God.

“I won’t cut.” Nalin tightened his hold. “It is just a needle. First the anaesthesia, then I will put the wider needle in your side and we will attach the drain to it, so it will get the fluid out, okay?” He really was running out of time, but he could not just ignore his questions and hold him down when he was looking at him traumatised after what he did to him last time.

Takeshi nodded yet his hand stayed wrapped around his wrist. Nalin and the doctor turned him on the side, Shiro quickly moving to the back as Isao came forward and put his hand on Takeshi’s cheek trying to sooth him.

“It will be over quickly.” He stroked his hair, hating the scared, pained look on his face.

They did not talk with him about what happened, because they hoped he did not remember. He was awake when Nalin cut through his chest and stomach, but by then have lost so much blood, he was so barely conscious, that they bet on his mind getting rid of the memory.

But the trauma was obvious.

Takeshi squeezed his hand as they inserted the needle, closing his eyes. Once they attached the drain it took a while for Takeshi to breath better, but he slowly did, finally falling asleep exhausted and drugged with painkillers.

“How long he will need it for?” Isao asked, pushing his shirt down careful of the drain, and pulled the blanket up to warm him up. Since Takeshi lost weight he was constantly cold and the last thing he wanted was for him to get worse.

“Depends on the amount of fluid.” Nalin answered. “We should be able to finish getting it out in the morning.”

“Will he be able to still go out tomorrow?”

The doctor smiled. “If he will feel well enough. Only because Nalin promised to watch over.”

Isao looked at him, both of them tired. “Thank you.”

Nalin nodded and focused on Shiro. “Well, if you don’t look terrified.”

Shiro blinked, snapping out of his shocked state. “I better go.”

They did not stop him.

**

“Surprise!!”

Takeshi jumped and started laughing charmed when he saw his whole family standing in his living room. Today he finally left the hospital and he had no idea that everybody would be waiting in his house for him. He grinned happily when he noticed the banners saying “Merry Christmas!”, “Happy New Year!”, and “Welcome Back Home!”.

They were impossible.

“Did you know?” He turned to look at Isao, beaming behind him.

“Of course not!”

Takeshi did not have enough time to poke him before James grabbed him, hugging him tightly, and then Akira, and Nobu, and Sousuke… nobody let him go without a hug and whispers how much they’ve missed him and how glad they were that he was finally home.

He could feel the warmth spreading in his chest.

“There’s no such thing as missing Christmas.” James put his hands on his cheeks. “Neither New Year. Welcome back home, fairy.”

He loved them beyond anything.

**

“Did you like the songs?” James asked quietly with one hand around Takeshi’s shoulders.

They were sat on the floor on pillows, Christmas food on the coffee table. They did not want official, they wanted family time, where a cosy atmosphere, delicious food, and lovely music in the background mattered the most.

“I loved it.” Takeshi kissed his cheek, making him grin. “Especially the lullaby.”

“That was the only time, don’t get used to it.” He tightened his hold on him. “Don’t ever do this to me again, okay?” James never really cried, difficult life taught him how to be strong. This was why Takeshi often learned what he felt by listening to his music. Sometimes Takeshi wondered how he managed to keep being such a positive sunshine everyday. But it made him look up to James.

Takeshi smiled. “Sorry.”

Sousuke walked up to them, Sayomi in his arms. “Look who it is, your granddad.” She grew over the few weeks he was in the hospital, eyes now open and bright looking interested everywhere. Takeshi grinned and extended his arms to take her from Sousuke, smile growing as she blabbered happily. She had Rin’s pink hair but they were thick like Yamazaki’s, and they already grew so they gave her a little ponytail right at the top of her head.

She was such a little pretty girl. Sousuke’s eyes, Rin’s hair, but his mischievous little smile.

Akira laughed as she started touching Takeshi’s face. It was funny, until she decided to put her hand in his mouth so he delicately turned her so she could sit in his lap facing others and play with a toy Sousuke quickly got her.

Isao sat on his other side and played with her ponytail, making her giggle and try to catch his hand. Sousuke smiled sitting opposite to his dad, watching them.

The image of his father being cut open and screaming in agony was flashing in front of his eyes even now. And he looked at Isao pressing a kiss to Takeshi’s temple, knowing he was seeing the same. Isao was exhausted and his inability to sleep said it all too.

He once stayed for a night and walked downstairs, seeing him and Nalin drinking together. His father could even make enemies seek each other in peace… why he always had to pay when good things happened, though?

“She’s growing fast, isn’t she?” Nobu sat on the sofa behind them.

“Because she’s a little badass.” Takeshi played with her little feet.

Isao’s mother sat on the comfortable sofa as rest of the boys took the place on the pillow, everybody close together, watching Takeshi playing with his little granddaughter.

It was such a peaceful moment, the whole family together happy, their biggest concern a fight over the last dumpling. They were laughing and chatting and joking, and everything, absolutely everything, was perfectly fine.

At least for this one day.

**

Isao relaxed against the bed rest, closing his eyes. What a beautiful day. He worried that it would be too much for Takeshi and he would only stress with so many people around him trying to keep his appearance up. But they were so relaxed and everything was so simple, he could enjoy Takeshi just smiling for once.

He heard the bathroom door being opened and closed, the very quiet steps, and felt the sweetest weight as Takeshi sat over his hips. He had a shirt or small robe on, smooth thighs naked. He could smell the lotion.

“First night back and you are blanking me? Really?” Takeshi gasped in pretended hurt.

Isao opened his eyes and smiled, Takeshi’s beautiful eyes bright and happy, cheeks flushed from the hot bath he just took. He did have a short black satin robe on, wrapped tightly around himself, covering the bruise as much as possible, and a thin shawl around his head, covering the sickness that have made him lose hair, too.

He always tried to hide how he really felt whenever it was pain or sadness. Anything that could make others unhappy.

Isao reached for his cheek, the thumb stroked the prominent cheekbone. He was so thin, so breakable, but alive. Still alive, after the hell he went through again. He had the strength to sit here, in the bed they tortured him on.

If Isao could not stop seeing it, did Takeshi see it too? Did it flash in front of his eyes as he walked inside, did he feel the pain they caused him? And yet he was the fighter not even stopping but coming in like nothing happened.

“I love you.” Isao lifted a little to kiss him softly, Takeshi’s arms slipping around his neck as his hands touched his soft thighs and slowly travelled upwards.

“Wait.” Takeshi stopped the kiss and put his hands on his cheeks. “You don’t need to,” he said quietly.

Isao looked confused.

“I know how I look. I don’t see the thinness but I know when you do. And now the bruise, it is ugly, and…”

Isao shut his mouth with a kiss, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Like he wished he could have had then, instead of inflicting pain on him. Just hold him, keep him safe, no pain…

He moved them so he lied over him, snug between Takeshi’s legs. They both had bruises, so many of them, most covered with tattoos. They were never an issue. Takeshi was self-conscious but to him always beautiful. He never complained about wounds Isao had, just kissed them as they only became part of who he was.

Takeshi trembled a little worried as he unwrapped the robe and kissed down the straight, thick line. It wasn’t ugly.

Nothing could make Takeshi ugly.

**

Once a year, Takeshi visited the Yamazaki grave. Usually on Christmas he sat in front of the black marble, uneasy feeling spreading in his stomach. He always asked himself one question.

Would his father even want him to be here?

But he was here for his mom, too. His mom who always kept his side, who did everything she could to make him happy. Who worked with Isao’s mother and helped them meet with Isao, covered them and gave them alibis. Who was there to kiss the top of his head when his father shouted again, tried so hard to make him eat and bandaged his wounds over and over again. Even those he inflicted himself.

She let him cry.

He could not visit on Christmas so he decided to go today, Isao close behind him. He usually went alone but there was not a single chance Isao would let him so soon after he left the hospital. Takeshi was still becoming dizzy at times. Nalin’s drugs were doing wonders and keeping him on his legs, but he was just cut open while he was awake, nearly bled out, his internal organs gave up… he couldn’t be perfectly well after just a few weeks.

And how well could he really get while still being sick?

They walked slowly, snow squishing underneath their feet. So many graves everywhere, the day becoming darker, little candles casting shadows, beautiful flowers covered with white fluffy cloud.

Takeshi and Isao stopped abruptly seeing a man lifting himself from the kneeling position.

Isao’s father.

The whole world stopped when he looked to his right and Takeshi’s eyes met his. Every word, every threat, every cut and punch suddenly hurt again, stopping him from breathing. He wasn’t sure if he took a step back or Isao came forward but his hands closed on his arms tightly. It was Isao’s tension that snapped him out of it and he caught Isao by his arm the moment he moved towards his father, stopping him.

“Don’t.” Not here.

There was no snow on the black marble, cleaned and shiny, beautiful big red roses filling the vase in the corner from the same material. Takeshi took the snitch, simple clear one and lightened it up before walking up to the grave and putting it in the middle. Isao’s father always made sure that there was at least one light and flower on the cleaned grave every day. Takeshi never wanted to interfere. Not that there was a reason to. His father meant the world to Isao’s and he actually wished he could ask why. The way their kids were curious and asked about him and Isao, he was interested too.

But his mom was here too, and she loved white tulips. So he always had a bouquet especially for her and he put it in the middle too.

Isao’s father moved behind to give him space, something vulnerable in his eyes. This was always the only place they never fought at. And usually they managed to miss each other.

Isao stood on the other side of the grave, eyes not leaving his father, his hands curled into fists. He didn’t see his father, he saw the man who tortured his fiancée for loving him, who cut his body and face, who made him bleed, who made Isao leave him, who threatened Takeshi with rape, who made him depressed and have panic attacks, who made him suicidal…

Who traumatised him and filled his nightmares.

And now the man was standing here seemingly helpless, eyes sad looking at the grave of his friend, or partner, or brother…

It made Isao angry.

“You know I am dying,” Takeshi whispered, kneeling at the grave. This was a place they were decent to each other out of respect. But not after everything that happened. It was impossible…

He had to know. And if he knew then only from…

“I do.”

Takeshi closed his eyes. It was so quiet, he heard Isao’s sharp intake of breath.

“How could you?” Isao whispered and his father’s head snapped up to look at him, hearing his voice breaking. “Why?”

“Isao…” Takeshi stood up, but Isao already walked up to his father. But not to hit him, not to attack… Isao, his strength, looked at his father now trying to stop tears.

“Why do you hate us so much?” Isao asked, voice choked. It was such a cold, quiet day, and they stood within the graves looking at each other like at reflections. “You’re standing here over the grave of someone you loved and lost so early. You know how it feels. You know exactly how it feels!” Isao shook his head, eyes full of hate and brokenness. “And yet you look at Takeshi and want him to be laid here next. You want him to be in agony and die at a young age, just like his father. You want me to stand here, with you, next year, suffering like you do since you have lost him…”

“I don’t…” he said quietly.

“Yes, you fucking do!” Isao shouted. “You hate us so much you’ve joined people that you spent your life fighting against with Takeshi’s father! Just because they hate him, just because they want to hurt him as much as you do! Do you really think he would want this?” He came closer, fire in his eyes, pointing towards the grave. “He was a fucking bastard, but do you really think he would want his son to die in agony and that from their hands? YOURS?!”

“Isao…” Takeshi forced himself between them, pushing Isao a little away. His back was turned towards Satoru, one of the simplest mistakes a man could make, but he did not care. Isao was breaking, his Isao was breaking completely, and nothing else mattered. “Please…” He put hands on his arms.

“I look at you and I see myself,” Isao whispered and his eyes never left his father’s as he moved Takeshi so he’d stand on his side instead. “In a just few weeks or months, because of you and them and…” He stopped abruptly, swallowing his tears.

Satoru have not said a word, starring at him throughout the whole monologue. Isao shook his head and turned to Takeshi, smiling calmingly seeing him worried and lifted his hands to touch his cheeks, thumb stroking one softly. He wasn’t happy with his outburst, he did not want Takeshi to know how afraid he was, but he could not stop himself.

He was terrified of losing him. And sometimes it was difficult to pretend everything was fine.

And when he looked at Takeshi kneeling over the grave with Yamazaki engraved on top and imagined him being laid there so soon, so next Christmas he wouldn’t visit, he would be in it… Or his father hovering over him like an upcoming death, like a grim reaper, and Isao saw himself in him, standing over the grave of his lover… He’d be kneeling, like Takeshi just was…

Isao was looking into the future and it made him panic.

“Let’s go home.” He kissed Takeshi’s forehead and seeing him relax he put his arm around him, not wasting one last look at his father as they walked away. “Or…” Isao hummed, Takeshi slipping his arm around his middle and cuddling up to his side. “I’m taking you out for a meal. To your favourite steak house. Or! We could just go for a ride and find some new restaurant but as delicious.”

Takeshi chuckled and Isao smiled happily.

We still have so much to do, Takeshi. So many dates to go to and holidays. So many meals and desserts to try. And there are so many beautiful places to see and have fun at. So much to discover. And I am not planning to do it on my own.

It is too early for you to die. So you won’t.

I won’t let you.

**

Satoru watched his and Katsu’s sons walking away until they disappeared from his view. The snow started falling again, beginning to slowly cover the grave with Yamazaki engraved in gold.

Isao saw himself in him. The future. Older standing over the same grave having lost his young lover too early.

Satoru saw himself in Isao, younger so desperate to keep the boy he loves, feeling as the invisible hand is tearing him away from him, no matter how hard he is holding him. Terrified looking at the grave and then at him, knowing soon the boy won’t visit, he will be in it, and he will be the one watching over. The disgusting illness breaking him and seeing him first lose the colour in his face, and hair, and then all the weight, and suffering in agony because even keeping eyes open is too much. Satoru saw himself standing over the grave so much younger, pretending to be strong and emotionless, like he did not just lose half of himself.

Isao was the same. It was the story repeating itself.

And he was helping it.

**

When he walked out of the cemetery he saw Takeshi leaning on Isao, forehead pressed to his shoulder, arms wrapped around his chest as Isao held him tight, whispering something. He’d think they were hugging if not Takeshi’s heavy breathing and Isao’s strong grip.

Takeshi finally pulled away, pale in the face but he smiled like everything was fine, even though his hands were grasping Isao’s jacket. When he moved to walk away Satoru knew he would fall before he did, having seen it many times before. Isao caught him, panic on his face, so unused.

Satoru wasn’t even sure why he walked up to them, his son’s face freezing as he saw him. But he kneeled and told him to grab Takeshi under shoulders as he caught him behind his knees, lifting them, and put one hand under his small back too. Enough to make the blood flow back to the brain, letting him slowly regain consciousness.

He let Isao hold Takeshi, grasping his hand and putting it under Takeshi’s legs. Isao lifted him, not wanting him to stand up anyway and looked at his father, face unreadable.

“There are many things you will need to learn,” Satoru said quietly. “You’re up for a difficult job, son. Cancer is a continuous nightmare that only gets worse, not a bad day every few weeks. And you will suffer with him.” He took one last look at them, such a difference when his eyes were sad, not full of hate and anger.

And he left as Isao watched, Takeshi a feather in his arms.

Cancer.


	64. Time to sing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If I cannot fly, let me sing.”  
> ― Stephen Sondheim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @potato-san27 who made my week as we chatted about Invincible and possible publishing, and for @Invisible_Kid whose long comments are everything <333

“It is cancer.” Isao whispered.

He and Nalin were stood in the dark cellar talking in quiet voices as one of Nalin’s mixtures boiled right by them.

“Did he say anything else?” Nalin asked, arms crossed over his chest. If it were cancer then they would have figured it out from the tests. It did not make sense. 

“Look, my father doesn’t say anything without a reason, especially to us. He confirmed working for the gang and knowing that Takeshi is sick. When he mentioned cancer, he did not just draw comparison to what happened to him and Katsu. He acted like Takeshi has it.”

“Maybe he just chose the most similar illness, which we suspected already…” Nalin bit the inside of his cheek, deep in thought. It only confirmed that they had to ask Takeshi to have the chemotherapy treatment.

“But that means the chemotherapy is a good idea, right?”

Nalin looked at him. Isao was acting weird since he came over with Takeshi in his arms. He explained to them that he collapsed but he is okay, ensured by Nalin who quickly checked over him. They left Takeshi on the sofa in the living room, wrapped in warm blankets, with James sitting by him.

“We won’t know until we try it. But I guess it gives us some needed confidence.”

Isao nodded, walking around aimlessly.

“Are you okay?” Nalin asked unsure.

Isao seemed surprised he asked and quickly shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

“Right.”

He rolled his eyes. “I just… on the graveyard I completely lost it, and I’m not supposed to.” He was irritated, cracking his knuckles. “Takeshi saw it and was terrified.”

“Are you really surprised you lost it?” Nalin sat on the table, eyeing him. “Takeshi is the one suffering over and over again, but you’re going through this with him. And instead of talking you are acting like everything is okay. Of course you finally snapped.”

“I’m not acting like everything is okay!”

“Yes, you are.” Nalin smirked. “And I get why. And maybe it is better for Takeshi to think you are so strong, because he needs you and he worries too much already.” He shrugged. “But you need to talk or you’re going to end up sick. Who’s going to be there for Takeshi then?”

**

“Hey, sleeping beauty.” James grinned as Takeshi woke up.

“Not again.” Takeshi whined.

“What?” James gasped dramatically. “What do you mean ‘not again’? You did not want to see my beautiful like a sunshine face above you as you lie on…”

“Shh.” Takeshi lifted his hand and put it over his mouth, eyes closed. He opened them after a few moments. “Start again?”

“What? What do you mean ‘not again’? You did not…”

“No, wait, stop.” Takeshi wasn’t even sure why he started laughing. He felt awful, he wasn’t sure what just happened, but James… James was the most ridiculous human being on earth and he loved how much this fool could make him laugh without even trying. “I love your beautiful face and I’m beyond grateful to see it again.”

James breathed out in relief.

“What happened?” Takeshi rubbed his eyes.

“You fainted.”

“Lovely.” He cringed. And he bitched that Isao did not want to leave him alone. “Where’s Isao?”

“Here.”

Takeshi heard before he saw him and tried to lift himself but Isao stopped him. Nalin was right behind him.

“How do you feel?” Nalin asked.

“I’m fine.” Takeshi smiled. Tired. Pained. But compared to how he could feel… Not so bad.

“I’ve got an offer.” Isao kneeled by him.

“Can I refuse it?” He grinned.

“No.” Isao laughed. “I’m taking you away for the weekend.”

“Where?”

“Not saying.” A smile. “Can you stand up? I will help you pack.”

“I will help him pack, what do you know about fashion.” James sighed and extended his hand towards Takeshi who snorted, Isao looking insulted.

“What do you want from me?” Isao growled.

“You’re gay and a proof that not all of them have a sense of fashion, Mr black jeans and a shirt is a sense of life.” James gave him a look and pulled Takeshi up, ignoring Isao’s scoff.

Isao and Nalin heard the quiet “but he looks good, though” from Takeshi and a slap he had to receive for ruining James’ exit.

**

“You’re the one who makes him wear those tight black shirts, aren’t you?” James asked pushing Takeshi on the sofa in the closet. Takeshi grinned. “You’re so easy for muscles, I swear to God.”

“Hey.” Takeshi laughed. “Says you.”

“I don’t have a thing for muscles!”

“No, but get you a woman who at least has a C and you’re all for it.”

“I’m not that easy.”

“Depends on alcohol intake.”

“Okay, I give you that.”

James grabbed a bag from one closet and started putting clothes in. He smirked after a while and showed a skimpy dress to Takeshi who just nodded. He had no idea where they were going with Isao, so he needed to be prepared for all possibilities.

He quickly said his goodbye to James and Nalin, taking a package full of drugs and instructions how to take them from him. He whispered ‘thank you’ to Nalin when he hugged him and later kissed his cheek. Nalin was surprised but squeezed his arm around him tighter, instead of saying anything back and smiled as Takeshi and Isao walked out.

**

Takeshi tried not to laugh seeing Isao telling the dog to get in the big car, Fluff sitting on the ground cocking his head in confusion but waggling his tail anyway. Takeshi gave Isao a few minutes but seeing him struggling walked over and patted the floor of the boot and the dog jumped right in making Isao deadpan.

“He just likes me more.” Takeshi grinned showing his white teeth, Isao shoving him lightly. Takeshi laughed and after closing the boot they sat in the front, checking if they definitely took everything.

“Ready to go?” Isao smiled, hand reaching for the button to start the engine.

“Well, without telling me where we are going I can’t really answer your question.” Takeshi said in a very serious voice.

Isao looked at him.

“I guess!” Takeshi made himself comfortable. “Whatever you say, wherever you wish to take me, darling.”

Isao slowly put his hands on the wheel. Was Takeshi high? Did Nalin give him something else? Or something more? 

Actually, that would explain the weird smile he had on his face as they walked out.

That. Dick.

“I love this song.” Takeshi gasped in excitement as they drove down the hill. He reached towards the radio and turned the volume up, body swaying to the music already. He closed his eyes and taking a deep breath in, he began. “ONCE I WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD…!”

Isao was going to kill Nalin.

**

“You look very happy with yourself.” James furrowed his eyebrows, Nalin smiling to himself as he went to the kitchen and started making himself a drink.

He just smiled wider.

**

“AND IIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUU.”

“Takeshi, please.”

“This radio sucks, I’m putting Apple Music on, shush.”

Isao stared at the road considering jumping out of the car.

“Oh, my God.”

“What?”

“Barbie Girl!”

“No.”

“Hi Barbie. Hi Ken. Do you wanna go for a ride?...”

“Takeshi, I am begging you.”

“… Life is plastic, it’s fantastic…”

**

“Come on, tell me!” James bent over the bar to stare Nalin right in the eyes.

He shook his head, relaxed sitting with a glass in his hand. His plan was to sleep through this weekend, enjoying a little bit of peace. It’s been awhile.

**

“A little bit of Monica in my life…” Takeshi swayed to the side and slapped Isao on his arm.

“You know what, I’m going to call them and they will listen to you.” Isao reached for his phone, threat in his voice.

“That’s great! Can you put Facetime on, too?”

Isao grit his teeth together.

**

“Aw, you’re already missing us?” James grinned as he answered the call.

“Is Nalin with you?” Isao asked very calmly.

“Is everything okay?” James asked worried and quickly moved to sit by him.

Isao just starred at Nalin who kept a poker face until he heard the loud ‘MAMAAAAA’ making him burst out laughing. Takeshi stole the phone from Isao’s hand and grinned at them.

“James. I’ve got a business.”

“Is this Bohemian Rhapsody I am hearing?” James’s eyes brightened with excitement.

Takeshi smirked.

**

“Mama, just killed a man!”

“Didn’t mean to make you cry!”

“Galileo!”

“Galileo!”

“Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?!”

“Bismillah! No, we will not let you go!”

“Bismillah! We will not let you go!”

**

“You are so dead.” Nalin barely heard Isao through James and Takeshi’s singing.

“I was curious if they could still do it together so well.” Nalin shrugged, biting the inside of his cheek to not laugh again.

“I’ve listened to Barbie Girl. And Mambo Number Five. And My Heart Will Go On.” Isao said in accusatory voice.

Nalin laughed.

**

Isao breathed out in relief when Takeshi curled up and went to sleep. He wasn’t entirely serious acting like hell swallowed him when Takeshi started to sing, because at the end of the day Takeshi had a beautiful voice. The only difference was that obviously drugged he just screamed his little heart out and chose the worst songs imaginable.

He chuckled to himself, hearing him mumbling in his sleep.

It’s been a while since he happily sang, though…

**

“Takeshi…” Isao turned the engine off and shook his thin arm, covered with his jacket that he put over him.

He woke up slowly, now always disoriented and weakened. Isao gave him a few moments and Takeshi finally sat up and looked around curiously, sleepy face brightening up.

They were in the woods. The snow covered little houses built from thick wood, their roofs decorated with yellow lights, a reception in the middle distinguished, as it was the biggest. Takeshi could even see the lake, now frozen, behind the cabins.

“I love you.” Takeshi whispered, eyes back on Isao.

Isao moved closer and pressed his lips to Takeshi’s. “I love you, too.”

This was such a special place. It wasn’t luxurious, the cabins each having just one room where the double bed was and a fireplace opposite to it, wooden walls and floors and a thick small carpet. Just a bathroom on the right, and the reception having a restaurant and a little bar where people could eat and drink.

It was special because it was their runaway. When they were hiding from their fathers, especially as teenagers, they knew nobody would find them here. Nobody knew. Nobody asked. They were safe and just the two of them.

“It’s like nothing has changed.” They both stepped out of the car, Takeshi wrapping Isao’s big jacket around himself and shivering.

They heard music coming from the reception.

“Not much did.” Isao wrapped his arm around him, trying to warm him up even though he was the one standing with just a shirt on. He had to check if this place even existed and he was so glad to find that it indeed did.

“I get cold just from looking at you, can we get the keys?” Takeshi’s teeth chattered.

Isao smiled and pushed him towards the biggest cabin.

Inside was a warm place with reception right in front of them in the back, and restaurant on the left. The walls and floors were made from wood, creating a warm atmosphere. There was a lady waiting for them, and Takeshi gasped when he recognised her.

“Look who it is! Goodness, you have not changed much!” She smiled seeing them and quickly walked away from the desk to bring Takeshi into a tight hug. “I’ve missed you, kids! When Isao called me and gave me your surnames, I recognised you from all those years ago.” She patted his cheeks. “You do look like you need a holiday, really.” Takeshi chuckled. “Even you, Isao. Now you have changed a lot!” She seemed to be approving of the new look. “What a handsome man you grew up to be.”

Isao grinned. “Thank you.” Takeshi poked him in his side.

“And you’re beautiful as always.” She took a good look at Takeshi, swimming in the jacket looking huge on him. “Too tiny as always, too.”

“I was sick,” Takeshi explained shortly.

“So we came over to take a little break.” Isao added.

“You’ve made the best choice.” She walked to the reception to pick the keys. “You have the cabin with the view of the lake.”

“Perfect.” Isao took them, Takeshi’s eyes wondering around the room, looking if anything changed. It did not seem so. “Thank you very much.”

**

Takeshi sat on the edge of big bed placed in the left side of the room, its back facing the front wall. Opposite to it was a fireplace with a small fluffy carpet in front of it, the floor and walls made of light wood. Fluff jumped right on the carpet, stretched comfortably and fell asleep within minutes.

On the same wall was the door to the bathroom.

And that was it. Their cozy cabin, with a window on the left so they could look at the woods and lake, one behind the bed and another on the right wall, a comfortable bed full of pillows and blankets, and the big fireplace with wood already lightened up, making cracking noises and letting Takeshi’s cheeks blush. He was already relaxed.

Isao put their luggage on the side and joined him, and they both took their shoes off and got comfortable moving to lie down properly.

“It’s so quiet.” Takeshi whispered.

“I know. I don’t remember it like that.”

Takeshi nodded and then he noticed the sly smile on Isao’s face so he smacked him, starting to laugh. “Shut up!”

“I did not say anything!” Isao caught his hand and moved to lie over him, smile on his face.

“I know exactly what crossed your mind, you pervert.” Takeshi pulled him down by the front of his shirt and kissed, lips soft against Isao’s.

“I remember this place very fondly,” he murmured, moving down and kissing him down his neck. He chuckled suddenly. “But when she said she recognises us, I was terrified.”

Takeshi started laughing. “I don’t think this is what she meant!”

“I hope so.” Isao smiled slipping one hand behind the pillow Takeshi’s head was on, the other under his back to keep him close. “I wanted to take you somewhere and I knew we couldn’t go away for long but a weekend seemed acceptable, I think.” He winked. “And all those hotels went through my mind but you always treated this place like second England, so it seemed perfect for now.”

“It is perfect.” Takeshi touched his cheeks. “I love you. I really do.”

“I know you do.” Isao pressed his forehead to his, enjoying so much how it could be just the two of them for once. He missed Takeshi. “I love you more, though.”

“Don’t start.”

Isao chuckled.

**

They got a table right by the window, not far away from the huge fireplace at the restaurant. Wearing a thick jumper, sleeves pulled down his hands, Takeshi watched as it snowed in the dark. It was nearly empty inside as they were quite late.

“Everything ordered.” Isao came back and sat opposite to him, Takeshi reaching for his hands and their fingers entwined. “Are you okay?” he asked worriedly, Takeshi so quiet.

He smiled. “I was remembering the last time we came here.”

“It’s been a while.” Isao stroked his knuckles. He cocked his head, Takeshi starring outside. “Come on, spill.”

Takeshi shrugged and focused on him, corners of his lips lifted. Isao relaxed because for once he looked cosy and calm, making him want to wrap his arms around him so they could stay like this forever. This place was magical because somehow here nothing bad ever happened. It was like they were in another world where no problems had a place.

They ate while having a little chat, the fire in the fireplace casting little shadows on their table. Takeshi wanted to talk about what happened at the graveyard, but he did not want to ruin the mood. Isao could say that they were here for Takeshi, and he knew this was his intention, but Takeshi was glad that Isao could rest too. Isao never worried about himself, but he really should. Even now, as cheerful and peaceful as they were, he was rubbing his eyes once in a while, dark shadows underneath them. Takeshi could tell how exhausted he was.

When they finished and went back to their cabin, now dark with the fireplace the only light and Fluff sleeping in the same place, looking like he found a little bit of heaven, Takeshi left Isao sat on the bed and went to the bathroom.

He hoped Isao wasn’t too tired.

**

Takeshi found the black mini dress and put it on, fixing his make up. He wanted to surprise Isao for a while, but something always got in his way. Besides, getting worse did not make him too attractive, but he hoped the room was dark enough.

When he walked out of the bathroom, and his eyes found Isao lying across the bed and snoring, he started laughing, quickly covering his mouth with his hand.

Never mind.

He’d wake him up if he would try to move him, probably not managing to anyway, so he slipped right underneath his arm, pulling the blanket over them. Takeshi touched the worried wrinkles on the sides of Isao’s eyes, the shadows underneath, and slowly fell asleep himself.

**

Takeshi smiled in his sleep feeling Isao’s body pressed to his back, hand stroking his naked thigh, sneaking right under the dress, up to his hip, and staying there as his lips pressed to the soft skin behind his ear.

“Kill me in the morning for missing this chance, please.”

Takeshi chuckled.

**

Takeshi stretched on his back, feeling relaxed and warm. He opened his eyes and saw Isao, leaning his head on his hand so he could look at him, other hand stroking Takeshi’s side and teasingly reaching underneath the dress, forcing it to ride up his body some more.

“You’re so gorgeous.”

Takeshi grinned, arm thrown over his eyes. “Yesterday you told me to kill you.”

“I’ve got better ideas, really.” Isao slipped between his legs, pushing his hands away from his face.

“It’s too late now.” Takeshi sighed dramatically, giggling seeing him snorting and bending to kiss his neck anyway, strong arms wrapping themselves around him.

**

Isao stroked Takeshi’s bottom lip with his thumb, looking at his pretty face. “You’re trembling…”

They were both sweaty, naked limbs entwined and covered with a blanket as it snowed outside. Takeshi opened his eyes, and moved even closer to leave no space in between them, leaving butterfly kisses on Isao’s lips.

“Can we stay here forever?” Takeshi whispered, sighing as Isao’s hand stroked his back and he pressed his forehead to his.

“Whatever you say, boss.” Isao kissed his lips again and again, hand quickly finding its way between his legs again. He was far from done and he was planning to make Takeshi moan from pleasure many more times this weekend.

“You were meant to be an angel, not the devil on my shoulder.” Takeshi murmured as Isao kissed down his body, and Takeshi spread his legs to let him slide in between them when Isao moved him on his back.

“Not this weekend.”

Takeshi’s back arched.

**

“Come here, big boy.” Takeshi patted the bed and Fluff jumped happily on it, so he hugged him, pressing his face to the fur.

Isao left to get them something to eat, telling Takeshi to stay in bed. So he did, naked but for the blanket wrapped around him.

“I’m back!” Isao said excited with a bag of food in his hand, quickly closing the door after himself.

“Ah, Honey!” Takeshi cooed, and Isao realised how he sounded so he started to laugh. “Look, baby, hubby is back with food.” He stroked Fluff behind his ears, the dog waggling his tail happily at the smell of it.

“Hubby?” Isao asked, quickly kicking his shoes off and jumping on the bed, wrapping his arms around Takeshi and kissing his shoulder. “Call me that all the time, please.”

Takeshi beamed, turning his head to catch his lips in a kiss, Isao holding his face with his hand, the other already slipping the blanket off Takeshi’s shoulders.

**

Sousuke quietly walked inside his father’s bedroom. He texted him that he won’t be home for the weekend and Sousuke saw it as his opportunity.

It did not take him long to realise that nobody would tell him anything. He did not even want to ask, knowing that he would only make them watch him.

He looked at the clean room, looking so different compared to how he saw it last time, and he wished it erased his memories, but it did not.

Seeing his father bleeding out, drowning in his own blood, and being cut open was the worst thing in his own life. And now he understood why Kisumi never spoke of what happened when his grandfather attacked Takeshi. Some things were better left in our nightmares.

Sousuke stood, now wondering where he should look.

He could remember breaking in his father’s bedroom as a child, trying to find out anything about him. Just to not feel like a stranger. But his dad’s room was always so empty, white walls and a bed, just one small picture of him and that’s it. Like he did not even live there.

Well, he never really did.

It actually warmed his heart standing here now. On the bed’s left side, where he assumed Isao slept, of course by the door, there were a few books stacked on top of the bedside desk. On his father’s side, the jewellery he had to take off the night before, and some documents.

Sousuke reached for them, but they were cheques and company documents. He barely understood them.

He looked under the bed, but there was nothing. He looked inside the drawers, cringing at what he was doing. There were mostly clothes, but he found a few files and books, so he looked inside them.

Sousuke smiled finding pictures thrown inside one file. He noticed Takeshi put quite a few in frames on the shelves, mostly from the parties; the whole family, even Takeshi and Isao sharing a kiss, and all of them with Takeshi holding Sayomi on the Christening. The room was alive, so different to how it was just a few months before.

Looking at some of the images of his father and Isao he felt slight jealousy. He noticed it himself, but the pictures showed how different their relationship to his and Rin’s was. Both the innocent, full of love, and sly, flirty looks were more than him and Rin barely starring in each other’s way.

He did not know it was this bad.

He shook his head and continued to search for anything that would hint at what was going on. This was his priority now, not the ruin of his own relationship.

Work. More work. One company. Another company…

Hospital.

He opened it quickly, hoping it was a description of what was happening to his father. But it wasn’t. The file was practically empty, which meant either Takeshi had to burn everything or it was in somebody else’s hands.

Perhaps Nalin’s.

He grinded his teeth in frustration but reached for one document folded in half and opened it.

When his eyes found the word “abortion” he froze for a few seconds. It was a document stating Takeshi had one.

What was disturbing about it, was that it was signed by Isao. Not his father.

His dad was pregnant. Pregnant. And they killed that child. Sousuke knew nothing about it. Nothing.

Why Isao, though? He’d understand if there were two signatures, even if he wasn’t sure how exactly abortions worked but obviously his father’s word was more important?

But Isao made the decision? Wait.

Was this around the time Takeshi got so depressed? The poisoning and Isao’s father attack came close to each other and then the terrible depression, suicidal behaviour…

His dad seemed strong after being cut open by them, but completely gone after what happened when Isao’s father attacked. And Isao left. They all wondered how could he.

So he killed the child against his father’s wish and then left? Was that why Takeshi broke?

“What are you doing?”

Sousuke jumped out of his skin hearing Nalin’s voice. He turned around quickly standing off the bed, hoping he did not notice him hiding the document in the back pocket of his pants.

“I was looking for something.” He was proud of his voice not stuttering.

“In your father’s documents.” Nalin leaned against the door’s frame.

“Well, he is not here, so I could not ask…”

“So you could not text him and ask at least where you should look.”

Sousuke licked his bottom lip. “He did not reply. I guess he does not have a signal.”

“Interesting, I just called him.” He did not, really.

“Maybe he got it now.”

“Maybe you should check your phone whether he replied to you, then.” He assumed he was having more fun than Sousuke.

Sousuke grind his teeth in frustration and walked past Nalin, hoping he will hit his shoulder hard with his.

At least he had the document.

“You forgot something?” Nalin extended his hand, expecting him to put it in it.

“That isn’t yours any more than mine.” Sousuke sneered.

“Then put it back where you took it from.” Nalin smiled, hand pointing towards the bed.

Oh, God, Sousuke wanted to punch him. He threw it on the bed, not caring about the mess he has made. Nalin was going to tell his father everything anyway.

He did not care. At least his father will start talking.

Nalin watched him walk away and closed the door to the bedroom, sighing to himself. He knew what the kid wanted to take.

And what the kid found out.

**

Isao stroked Takeshi’s back as he slept peacefully on his side, facing the opposite way. This weekend was everything he wanted, the simplest wish of them being left to themselves, sleeping, making love, and eating. Relaxing and not thinking about any troubles.

And he really hoped Takeshi did not. He seemed the happiest he saw him for a while.

It was like years ago when they were hiding and forgetting about everything, giggling, joking, chatting, and just being so in love that it made his heart warm even now. They were so young.

Often he took him here when Takeshi was getting sick, so he was used to tracing his thin body, the bones and bruises and tattoos, even during their happiest moments.

It was today that he noticed the bruises that he was leaving without even knowing. They came out after one day, red and purple shades on his body. Isao knew he wasn’t rough with him, he was more careful the sicker Takeshi was becoming, and yet…

“Why aren’t you asleep?” He heard Takeshi’s sleepy murmur, yawning and pressing his face further into the pillow.

Isao wrapped his arms around him and pressed his cheek to his back. “I am.”

**

Takeshi stood by the lake, Isao busy putting their bags in the car.

Their little paradise was over.

He really did not want to come back. Obviously he missed his family, but he felt like they were better off without him, too. He worried that he will just bring all the trouble back with him. And he dreaded feeling sick again. But he knew it was going to happen.

A lot he could blame on the poisoning, but he was aware of the damage he was causing himself. He was helping it. He was so helping it. Because somewhere there, deep inside, he was happy.

Happy that it hurt, ruined, made him feel sick.

But he was scared. Scared of the pain that will be caused and the one that he will cause himself. Scared of the look on his family’s faces. Scared that he won’t have enough time to prepare everything for them, and most of all, them.

He was looking at this lake for the last time, wasn’t he? His last peaceful times with Isao. It was over.

Takeshi felt Isao’s arms wrapping themselves around him from behind, his cheek pressed to his as he hugged him tight.

“I love this place.” Isao sighed, looking at the lake and trees around them covered with white fluff. There was no wind and it was even quite warm for winter. “I can’t wait for summer. We will come for longer so we can go for a walk in the woods, and swim in the lake…” He smiled dreamily. “Or we can just stay in bed, I don’t mind really.” He shrugged.

Takeshi smiled weakly. There was not going to be any summer. Not for them.

He realised he said it out loud when Isao’s arms tightened around him, lips pressed to his temple. “There will be.”

“It would be so much easier for you, if you just accepted what is happening,” Takeshi whispered, starring ahead. He could imagine how Isao felt, he knew how terrified he was when he thought he could lose Sousuke. But he was his son. A young child who did not even live yet.

Takeshi’s life was always a sad joke and in some ways he wasn’t even angry for it ending. Actually, maybe he was, because it did not end when he hurt, it was ending when he was finally finding happiness and peace. He could not say he did not live, but he dared to say he did not live enough. He was still young. Most of his life was suffering, why couldn’t he have a few years of happiness?

There were still so many places he wanted to see and so many happy memories to be made. He wanted to see his son and Sayomi growing up, feel Isao’s touch against his skin, they were meant to marry and build a house and try for a child after wasting so many years, Takeshi wanted to make sure Isao was happy after everything he went through with him, and he worried that Isao would not find happiness because he would never want to after losing him, he feared Isao would really kill himself, and then there was James who needed him because nobody else knew of how his cannibalism really looked, would he find himself more friends, would he stay with the gang, his only family, and what about Nalin who finally opened up to people and thought Takeshi was partly responsible for his peace? What about the gang…

“Takeshi.”

He pressed his hands to his face feeling his eyes getting wet and chin shaking.

He just wanted his family to be happy. That was all. He would give all of his happiness away to ensure theirs. But they considered him being part of it and he was terrified that once he would die then he would make them unhappy and he could not control anything…

But apart from each other, they had families, bigger or smaller, they had people to live for, they had to be okay… The nightmares were just nightmares, weren’t they, showing the worst but not reality…

And Nalin and James were closer now so maybe Nalin would help James, and Shiro would help the gang, and…

And maybe it was better that he was going to die, because he only upset them, all the time they were exhausted needing to keep him alive, James crying, Isao and Nalin barely keeping their eyes open…

“Shhhh. Takeshi. Shhhh. You have to breath. In and out.”

What if Sousuke would not manage to be a boss? He was still so young and inexperienced, and he did not have a bodyguard, and he needed Isao, but what if Isao would really die… What about Kisumi who needed his dad, what about Sousuke who was going to find out about Rin sooner or later… Would he leave him? If he would, who was going to help him and Sayomi…

“Takeshi…”

He was shaking, now realising Isao turned him so he could hide himself in his arms and jacket, face pressed to the shirt, face wet from tears and he could not calm down his breathing, feeling himself suffocating. Everything was wrong, and everything was closing around him, and maybe…

Maybe he did not even care anymore.

**

Takeshi opened his eyes slowly. He saw fire, making him tense, but there was a hand on his arm and he realised it was a fireplace, just a fireplace…

“There, there, darling.” It was the lady who owned the place, sitting by his side, making sure the blanket was covering him everywhere.

He was exhausted, unsure what happened.

“Takeshi.” And then there was Isao who showed up from nowhere, the lady letting him sit by him instead, leaving them alone. “How do you feel?” He put the palm of his hand on his forehead.

“What happened?” Takeshi whispered, trying to lift himself but Isao stopped him by pressing his hand lightly to his shoulder.

“You panicked.” Isao stroked his cheek with his thumb. “I’m sorry, I should have kept my mouth shut.” He shook his head, annoyed with himself.

“No…” He did not want Isao to think that. He wanted him to talk. Takeshi based too much of his peace on Isao’s clearly fake one. On the graveyard everything became clear and Takeshi freaked out, but it wasn’t because he was terrified of Isao actually worrying, he knew he was, but of Isao breaking down. And he was going to if he was not going to talk. “I don’t want you to pretend,” he added quietly and then smiled sadly. “It doesn’t work. As you can see.”

“You know you are making a mistake of bottling everything up and yet you are still talking about me, not yourself.” Isao touched his cheek. “I am not hurting myself, Takeshi. I truly believe everything is going to be okay, I want to believe it, and being positive is not harming. Yes, I should have talked with you about some things and I promise I will, but you are the one who really needs to open up, love.”

“I am…”

“Takeshi,” He sighed. “I want you to finally think about yourself. You are sick and you really, really need to prioritise yourself.”

“You know that isn’t me.” Takeshi lifted himself into a sitting position, feeling a little better. It was just how he was. He always worried more about others. He knew he was full of self-hatred and no care about himself, and he knew it wasn’t healthy, but he could not change it.

“You want to control everything and everyone, and it is not possible, especially since your view is skewed because of your illness.” Isao wasn’t speaking of the poison now. It felt like for the first time he was really acknowledging out loud that Takeshi was mentally ill. He was always aware of it, not only during the weeks Takeshi was relapsing, and somehow he let him just be this way, but they could not afford it now. The poison was killing him, his mind could not help it.

Takeshi starred at him reminding him of a lost kid. Isao hated the look of slight betrayal, he did not want Takeshi to feel undermined.

Isao grasped his hands. “I want you to talk about your worries. You are putting such a burden on your shoulders, it makes you even more sick. You can’t do this to yourself, Takeshi.”

“You’re no better.” He smiled weakly.

“I will talk. I promise.”

Takeshi looked at their hands and after a few moments wrapped his arms around his chest, relaxing when Isao returned the embrace.

“We always won when we worked together, love.” Isao kissed the top of his head.

There was no other option. Separately they would lose.

**

“Ready to go?” Isao put his hand on the wheel, both of the men now in the car as Fluff stretched his big body in the boot and yawned. Isao already gave up on making a guard dog out of him, it was the laziest dog he has ever encountered.

Takeshi took a look at the reception and their cabin, lake and the woods, and sighed. “Yes.”

“We will come back.” Isao said in a strong voice. “I know we will.”

Takeshi did not say anything and he started the engine, putting his focus on the road. Isao’s choice was to believe that everything was going to be fine. If he felt better like this, then he was going to let him. Takeshi would find him being honest more supportive, but if he had to, he was going to deal on his own. He did not have the right to put any more burden on Isao’s shoulders. Maybe his positivity would help. Who knew?

He closed his eyes.

**

They quietly went inside the house, aware their friends might be sleeping. They were meant to come back much earlier, but because of Takeshi’s panic attack they arrived in the night.

“Goodness.” Takeshi jumped on his feet when he saw Sousuke sitting on the sofa in the dark living room. Isao let go off their luggage, leaving it on the floor.

“Can we talk?” Sousuke stood up and asked, starring straight at Takeshi.

“Did something happen?” Isao furrowed his eyebrows.

“No, I just want to talk.”

Takeshi gathered that he meant outside. “Well, sure. Of course.” He put the hood back on his head.

“You don’t need to go outside.” Isao stopped him. “And you should not. It’s freezing.”

“I will be fine.” Takeshi calmed him and waved for Sousuke to come forward. “Let’s go.”

Isao watched them as his heart beat in worry. He had a bad feeling about this.

What could Sousuke need to talk about at such a late night?


	65. Friend or Foe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who was really on their side?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Isao sat in the dark living room, waiting for Takeshi. His intuition was making him tense, but Takeshi’s message was clear. It was between him and his son.

It was taking a while though and he worried because Takeshi was weak after the panic attack and the degrees only dropped more. 

Isao looked up as he heard footsteps and Nalin showed up, confused as his eyes searched for Takeshi.

“He’s with Sousuke.” Isao answered the unasked question.

“Bit late for a walk.” Nalin sat opposite to him. He blinked. Oh God. “Why aren’t you with them?”

“They wanted to go alone.” Isao shrugged.

Nalin shook his head. “How long ago they have left?”

Isao straightened up, eyebrows furrowed. “Why are you worrying?”

“Sousuke broke into Takeshi’s bedroom and found the abortion papers.” Nalin said quickly.

Isao felt his blood freezing. Without another word he ran outside hoping to find Takeshi as quickly as possible.

**

Takeshi wrapped the coat tighter around his thin frame as he and Sousuke walked along the quiet road. He hoped it would snow soon here too, so it would be white and alive everywhere. Winter without snow was depressingly sad.

“So you just wanted to steal me for a walk, or you actually have a reason for it?” Takeshi smiled.

Sousuke stayed quiet until they reached a bench on the side and he sat on it, nose and cheeks red from the cold. He looked up at his father who stopped to stand right in front of him.

“I’ve broke into your room.” He said simply.

Takeshi starred at him speechless.

“Since none of you tell me what’s going on, I took the matter in my own hands.” Somehow it was easier to speak the more he did, and his father staying silent made him more confident. “And I tried to find some information.”

Takeshi snapped out of the shock and laughed quietly, sitting down by Sousuke. Maybe locking doors wasn’t the worst idea after all. But he trusted people to stay out of his room.

“You could just tell me what’s going on,” Sousuke murmured.

Takeshi cocked an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“I am giving you a chance to tell me…”

Takeshi snorted. His son had a nerve. “How very thoughtful of you. Are you blackmailing me or you haven’t found anything?”

Sousuke stood up and turned to look at him, Takeshi starring at him now clearly angry. “I found something you definitely did not want me to find,” he snapped.

Takeshi cooed sarcastically. “Dear me. And what now?”

Realising no information will be given to him, frustrated Sousuke took the document he stole out of the room after Nalin left, and threw it right in Takeshi’s face. He never acted like this with his father, once scared of him, now perhaps using the fact that he changed, but he was so angry for being treated like a fool in the last few weeks, that he really had enough.

Takeshi’s eyes darkened as he took the piece of paper, his blood boiling and already thinking how he will punish Sousuke. He was beyond easy on his son since they started working on their relationship, criticised for his ways by Isao, but he thought it was for the better. Seeing how quickly he seemingly lost respect, he realised that maybe he’s made a mistake.

When Takeshi unfolded the document, his heart sank. It was the only one he kept for himself, and himself only. And maybe it was his mistake for letting it sit under his clothes in the drawer instead of hiding it away like he did with many things, but since he started feeling that his mansion was becoming his home, he felt safe in it.

He was wrong.

His dirtiest, most shameful secret was out. Now everybody will know.

Maybe it was his punishment. Why should he be allowed to hide it and pretend it never happened, letting him live everyday without pain. He should face what he did and pay for it, even if only through the stares he will be given.

It always hurt, but never enough.

He touched Isao’s signature with his fingertip.

“How could he do it?” Sousuke accused. “Or was it both of you, but for some reason only he signed?” He pushed for answers, more and more irritated. “Why did you kill the child? Isao did not want it? Or you? Or both!” He wanted to shake him, but his father did not even lift his chin to look at him, only starring at the document. “Talk to me!”

Takeshi wanted to, he wanted to scream that none of it was Isao’s fault and they both wanted a child so much. It was his fault, not being careful, letting himself get poisoned, forcing Isao to kill their child to save him because he was too weak to survive. And he hated himself so much for it that it made him feel sick. His throat tightened and he could not speak, not look at Sousuke because his son already found him pathetic and not deserving of any respect. If he would see him now, desperately trying to stop tears and hiding his face away…

Sousuke walked away, kicking some lost can on the way. And it became quiet, nobody to snap at him anymore, but he heard his own thoughts ringing in his ears.

He never needed others to swear, accuse, hate him. He was his biggest enemy.

**

Isao walked quickly towards where Sousuke and Takeshi went. When he met Sousuke on his way, he had to grab his arm when the boy decided to ignore him.

“Where’s your father?” Isao asked, voice low.

“On the bench.” Sousuke snapped, only making Isao tighten his hold. “Let me go.”

“What have you done to him?”

“I haven’t done anything.” Sousuke pushed him away, face mad.

Isao let him go, surprised by his attitude. But considering it, nervous he ran towards Takeshi. He would deal with Sousuke later.

When he noticed Takeshi curled up on the bench, arms tight around his knees, Isao slowed down and then without a word sat by him and wrapped his arms around him, as he pulled Takeshi into a hug. Isao kissed his temple, letting Takeshi press his cheek to his shoulder, head turned away. The fact that he was quiet instead of crying with the abortion paper in his hand, only made the matter worse. It meant he was broken, not just hurt.

“What did he say to you?” Isao asked quietly. “Please tell me.”

He did not, just cuddled up to him some more. It wasn’t only about abortion. His son betrayed him too.

**

Nalin didn’t know what to say when Takeshi and Isao walked back in the house. He waited for them, somehow feeling partly responsible. After all he was the one who poisoned Takeshi and in result made him lose a child. He saved his life when he told them that they need to force a miscarriage, but he threatened it himself in the first place. He did not feel dreadful guilt because then they were still fighting so Takeshi wasn’t holding it against him, even being aware that Nalin would not touch him had he knew that he was pregnant.

For years they both played a ping-pong game of hurting each other and they could not take it back.

And yet he could not stop the “sorry” that escaped his mouth. But maybe this is what Takeshi needed, because after being pushed towards home and starring lifelessly, he finally blinked and focused.

“What are you on about?” he whispered.

“For what happened. And I should have called you two. I did catch Sousuke but did not want to ruin your weekend.”

A snort. “Sorry for setting fire to your garden, breaking your legs, shooting to you and your son…” Takeshi shook his head. “You have a few days for me to apologise for everything I did to you?”

Nalin only smiled.

“At least you healed me a thousand times since then.”

“Might explain why the gang doesn’t like me much.” Nalin grinned.

Takeshi nodded and sat on the sofa opposite to him as Isao went to the kitchen to grab a drink. “That’s why I hope you will stay with me even when the mansion is finished. Till we kill them.” He was thinking about this for some time, hearing of the house nearly being ready. And he feared Nalin would move, tired of so many people around him all the time.

“If it is no burden to you.”

Takeshi chuckled. “Such a burden having you keep me alive all the time.”

Nalin moved forward and extended his hand for Takeshi to shake.

**

Takeshi rested his head on Isao’s chest as they sat in the bath, the hot water with bubbles reaching his chin. He closed his eyes as Isao stroked his arms trying to make him relax.

He was okay. He really was. There was no need to be scared.

“Talk to me.” Isao said quietly to his ear.

“He threw it in my face and asked why we killed it.” Takeshi swallowed hard. He should have said something then but he could not. His heart was beating so quickly that he would make a complete joke out of himself. “I couldn’t say anything.”

“I will talk with him.” Isao said assuredly, but Takeshi shook his head.

“Don’t.”

“Takeshi.”

“No.”

He smiled hearing the growl in his ear and Isao’s strong arms wrapped around him. 

“Are you really going to let it go? Just like that?”

“No.” Takeshi shrugged. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do yet.

What Sousuke has done really hurt. Takeshi did not feel like even looking at him. Sousuke shouldn’t have broken into their room, and especially not throw his private documents in his face. Documents he stole! But at the same time, he did not blame him for looking for information.

However, if he was angry for them babying him, he surely did not prove that he should be trusted.

Isao shook his head lightly. He wasn’t letting it go. No way.

He understood why Takeshi was soft on Sousuke after years of being, frankly, a terrible father. But he became so soft on him that the kid felt he has the right to break into his room, steal his possession, use it against him… it was unacceptable.

Takeshi noticed Isao becoming quiet. He was the man who had a terrible choice to make, and Takeshi never really asked how he felt. He turned in his arms and wrapped his around his neck, holding himself up to not sleep into the water completely. But he did not need to, Isao’s strong arms holding him tight and his eyes focusing back on him as he put his cheek on his shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

“As long as you are.” Seeing the eyes darkening in frustration, he chuckled. “I am.”

“I don’t want you to ever think I blame you for what happened.” Takeshi said quietly. “And you can talk to me.”

“I know you do not.” Isao stroked his cheek. Of course what happened really hurt him, but he moved on. For Takeshi’s sake, for his own. There was nothing either of them could do. And he would never regret his decision. It was either losing Takeshi and the child, or only the baby. He never really had a choice.

**

After a sleepless night, Isao took Takeshi to the graveyard. He was surprised, asking why there, considering the fact that they only visited once a year. But Isao had an idea that he hoped would help.

When he bought a small candle on the side and took Takeshi by the hand to walk him to the Yamazaki grave, he remembered their meeting with his father that happened just a few days ago.

But he shook his head and focused on the important.

“I think what hurts is that we never properly mourned.” Isao explained as they sat on the little bench in front of the grave with Yamazaki engraved in gold. “At the beginning I thought that not talking about it would be better for you. To forget. But it only made it worse and I feel like every time we will be reminded or remember ourselves, it will only hurt more. And I never knew that you blame yourself so much for it. That you consider it a shameful secret. It is not, Takeshi.” He kneeled in front of him as he turned his face away. “It wasn’t yours or my fault. There’s no shame, you are allowed to accept what happened and cry. But you don’t even do that, punishing yourself instead.” He put the candle in his hand, Takeshi focusing on it instead, and Isao reached inside his pants to take a lighter and lit it. After a few moments they both stood up and placed it in the middle, and Takeshi felt the tears running down his cheeks as sobs shook his body and Isao hugged him tight, letting him, not saying anything.

Isao put his chin on the top of his head and closed his eyes for a few moments.

**

Isao crossed his arms over his chest.

Standing in the gold lift currently taking him to the highest level, or in other words, Sousuke’s and Rin’s apartment bought for them by Takeshi, he stayed as calm as possible.

He was aware that Sousuke did not know about Rin’s betrayal, so he had no right to use it against him too. But he did blame him for not noticing anything. The problem with Sousuke was that he wanted to be treated like an adult but did absolutely nothing that would make them trust him.

And it was so frustrating because Isao knew Sousuke as the bright and mature kid who had such passion for sport. A kid who had a difficult childhood but grew up to be a loyal boy who stood his ground, ready to be part of Yakuza. Well, that was until he met Rin.

Maybe it was Rin, maybe Takeshi becoming too soft on Sousuke. But he did not blame him for it. How could Takeshi be harsh on him after everything that happened while trying to fix their relationship? Besides, Sousuke was an adult now. He shouldn’t need his hand held. He should know better himself.

Takeshi did not want Isao to react and Isao usually would not. He even snapped his mouth shut when he found out that Rin was the one behind Takeshi’s state, as badly as his fists wanted to meet Rin’s face. But if this was about their child, then he had a right to react even if Takeshi wasn’t too happy about it.

Especially since he felt that deep inside Takeshi hoped he would do something because he wasn’t able to himself.

When he knocked and a few moments later Sousuke opened the door, he did not say anything.

He just punched him in the face.

And Sousuke hit the floor hard caught by surprise as Isao realised maybe he wasn’t as calm as he thought. But if Sousuke wanted to be treated like one of them, an adult, then Isao had nothing against it.

“What the fuck!” Sousuke pressed his hand to his bleeding nose and mouth, the shock and pain on his face quickly turning into anger.

“That’s about how your father felt when you threw the stolen document in his face.” Isao leaned against the door’s frame, checking his hand. He was surely angrier than he believed, considering how hard he hit.

“I just wanted answers!” Sousuke snapped, getting himself up and wiping the blood off his face.

“And what makes you think you have a right to them?” Isao asked, eyes darkening. “How dare you break into your father’s room? How dare you steal his private documents and use them against him? And that most sensitive, hurtful information?”

“I took what I found!” Sousuke growled, not wanting to give up and become the enemy. “How could I know it was hurtful…?!”

“By using common fucking sense!” Isao shouted, getting right in his face.

“You two did not lose that goddamn child, you killed it!” Sousuke shouted back but quickly took a step back, body tensing as he saw Isao pulling his fist back.

“You…” Isao snapped his mouth shut before he called Sousuke things he would regret for the rest of his life and put his hand down. “Your father was dying and the only way to save him was to force a miscarriage,” he sneered. “He was unconscious barely breathing and I was told that if I won’t do it then he will die with the child. There was no choice. Don’t you dare to accuse us of killing the child. We wanted one beyond anything!” Isao breathed heavily, trying to calm down. “Don’t you come any close to your father. Not until you grow the fuck up.”

“What’s going on?” When Sousuke opened his mouth to talk back, Rin showed up after ensuring his child is deep asleep in another room. He gasped seeing Sousuke’s bloodied face. “What happened to you?” He quickly looked at Isao. “What have you done to him!”

“Oh, shut the fuck up.” Isao cringed just hearing his voice.

“He is Takeshi’s son!”

Isao laughed, and it sounded pained. “Good Lord, you really have a nerve.” He wished he could kill him on the spot. Focusing back on Sousuke for a minute he just took one last look at him and left, the boys starring speechless. There was nothing else to say. He didn’t know whether Sousuke was shocked and already realising the mistake he has made or so quiet because his blood boiled but he did not have the guts to hit him back.

Isao could not care less.

**

When he came back in the late evening, body aching from using his muscles at the gym for hours until his body gave up and he could not move anymore, he found Takeshi in the kitchen, sleeping with his cheek pressed to the top of the bar and his feet dangling. He smiled and picked him up easily, the sleepless night ensuring Takeshi’s deep sleep now.

Or so he thought.

“You’ve been to the gym.” He heard a mumble in his neck as he walked upstairs.

“Correct.” Fresh smell of the shower gel, huh? Isao kissed his forehead as Takeshi starred at him with his cheek on his shoulder.

He put him on the bed and lied down himself after taking his shirt and jeans off. Isao snorted when Takeshi sat up with a pillow in his arms, seemingly still half asleep as he starred at him unsure what’s going on.

“Are you going to sleep?” Isao asked, arms behind his head to prop it up a little.

Takeshi nodded but he did not move, so he pulled him on top of him which Takeshi did not mind, falling asleep over him in seconds.

Isao sighed. At least he did not need a duvet.

**

There was something beautiful about Takeshi doing gymnastics. And it wasn’t only the movement, the slow stretches, standing on hands, jumping, lifting himself… He looked as if he danced, tight pants and another material encasing his hips, long sleeved shirt covering his tattooed upper body.

In this situation his thinness did not even look so out of place, his hands and feet delicate as he practiced seemingly in another world of his own.

Isao would forever be impressed with anybody who could stand on their toes and be so effortless while putting so much pressure on their body in reality.

Now he watched him back flipping on a thin bench and stopping at the end on his hands, his legs spreading. And then he put them back together and laid his upper body on the bench, legs already bending backwards, feet close to reaching his head.

Isao ached just from looking at him.

And then he danced some more, like a feather in the air.

Isao always stayed on the side not disturbing him, but when he saw him dropping on the floor with a pained sound, he walked up to him quickly.

“What happened?”

“Fucking. Foot.” Takeshi sat up and tried to stand on it but Isao caught his ankle so he ended up on his back instead.

“Wait.” Takeshi was so fragile that he worried about him breaking his bones. But it seemed he only needed a small pull that Isao did quickly, earning a shout and Takeshi trying to jerk away, so he held his foot tightly. “Don’t move, Christ…”

“That fucking hurt!” The pout only went away when he stroked and massaged the foot lightly and later wrapped a bandage around it.

“Enough for today.” He smiled and grabbed him to throw over his shoulder. “You need to rest it.”

Takeshi scoffed. “I can walk!”

“I just said no.” Isao grinned to himself, earning an awkward slap on the head as Takeshi remained hanging, and he grabbed a bag with their things and walked them out of the gym and towards the car.

**

“Oh, Lord, I wanted just one day off.” Nalin sighed as he saw Isao bringing Takeshi inside the living room and dropping the bag on the floor. He did the same to Takeshi but was kind enough to drop him on the sofa instead.

“Don’t be greedy, I gave you a weekend off.” Takeshi’s voice was muffled but he finally gathered himself into a sitting position and put his hurt foot on the coffee table. “Ow.”

“What happened?”

“Pulled a muscle.” He sighed and made himself comfortable. “We’ve got a date.”

James ran downstairs excited. “You’re getting married?”

“What? No.” Takeshi chuckled and Isao sat by him, handing him a cold drink. “The gang is doing another trafficking. In just a few days.”

“Ah, so that’s why.” James looked at his clothes and grinned. “Bella.”

“Oh, shut up.” Takeshi threw a pillow in his face.

**

When Takeshi told Isao that he is going alone, he actually fought with him. Nalin and James watched amused from the living room, as they stood so close facing each other, both fuming. Isao, because Takeshi “could not go alone, he was being irresponsible, and stupid, and going to get himself hurt”, and Takeshi, because Isao “had no right to tell him what to do, because he was a boss.”

“That’s the first time I hear him using his position to win an argument with Isao.” Nalin took a sip of his coffee as James stuffed his face with icecream.

“Nah, he always does that when he is losing. It is his equivalent of ‘I’m not a child anymore, mom!’”

They both laughed.

“Ohh.” James took his phone out when it vibrated. “Wait, don’t move!” He shouted and Isao with Takeshi snapped their mouths shut and looked at him. James did not say more, placing his phone as if to take a picture of them, earning confusion on their faces. He grinned and put it down. “You can continue.”

“The fuck was that about?” Takeshi snapped.

“You had Drowzee on your shoulder.” James smiled excited.

“He had what?” Isao blanked.

“You don’t know who Drowzee is?” James gasped as Nalin tried to not show that he had absolutely no idea either.

“No.”

“It’s a pokemon.” Takeshi knew he was meant to be mad, but Isao seemed so lost that he felt sorry for him. At least for once he knew something that Isao did not.

“A pokemon.” Isao did not seem impressed with his knowledge, making him roll his eyes.

“You and Nalin are such freaking dinosaurs I am surprised I can’t catch you with pokeballs.” James seemed more irritated than anything, but Takeshi had to cover his mouth to not laugh out loud.

“What do you want from me?” Nalin scoffed.

“You’re not as good of an actor as you think you are.” James stood up and took one last look at them. “I am going to catch some more, suckers. See you.”

The three of them watched as he left.

“I am going to put him in a pokeball once he comes back.” Nalin decided.

**

Sousuke stood on the side as the gang prepared everything for his father’s mission. They were in a factory bought by them pretending to be producing something, but in reality they usually used it for gathering for such missions or drug dealing.

The warehouse was dark so they put lights on and over twenty flat screens sat in front of them. Takeshi’s job was to get on the huge ship and put tiny cameras wherever possible so it would give them access to it and finally be able to spy. Surprisingly the gang seemed to only be using one ship, but it was good for them.

Takeshi was perfect for this job considering his flexibility and small frame, plus considering it was the wisest to only send one person, he was most likely to come back alive, too.

Sousuke did not even exchange a word with him before Isao drove him to the closest they could go.

And Isao was already back, face emotionless, but Sousuke knew from his eyes alone that he was nervous. Takeshi was there without Isao now.

Rin sat by Sousuke, curious of the mission. Sousuke did not really see why to not to let him be here. Rin obviously saw that he was nervous so he told him about his dad’s job. After Isao punched him in the face they had to talk about what Sousuke did. Rin was shocked about the abortion as much as him. But he did not judge him, he understood why he broke into his father’s bedroom.

Rin seemed happier lately. They were normally talking again.

Maybe splitting from the family did some good after all, because he was so obsessed with making his father happy, that he forgot about his own. He smiled when Rin put his cheek on his shoulder.

Rin looked up when he noticed Shiro walking in. Was he involved in this? He watched him walking up to Isao and standing right by him, but they stayed mostly quiet, focused on the screens.

And then it began. There wasn’t much noise at the beginning, quiet sounds of Takeshi moving through the ship. And then the first TV brightened up and they saw the entrance.

“Good job.” Isao said quietly and Nobu who sat close to the microphone repeated it.

“Go slowly, you’ve got time.”

The screens slowly started filling with images, one after another, as Takeshi nearly finished placing cameras everywhere. The ship was mostly empty which made them worry, and they informed Takeshi who only nodded. They saw him now checking out every room carefully, his movements impressive. He was lifting himself and slipping through smallest places so smoothly it seemed like the easiest job in the world.

They knew Takeshi was looking for kids, worrying them as he went deeper inside the ship.

“Be careful, the further you go the more difficult it is to escape.” Nalin commented.

Isao nearly jumped out of his skin when his son suddenly showed up by his side.

“Kisumi?” He asked surprised.

“Rin said you’re going to be here.” Kisumi grinned. “I wanted to check if everything’s okay.”

Isao stopped smiling. When he saw Sousuke with Rin, he ensured himself that the kid was wise enough to take him here without giving him any information beforehand. But he was wrong.

Isao quickly moved closer to Nobu and Nalin, leaving Kisumi worried. “They know.”

“What?”

The only reason he actually accepted Takeshi going alone was that he did not believe the gang would be prepared. Even if Rin told on Takeshi and Shiro, they did not show up on the first trafficking so it had to confuse the gang. Maybe even ensure them that Shiro did not sell them out.

But Rin was informed. He had enough time to tell them.

“The gang knows Takeshi is there,” he whispered and their blood froze.

“Takeshi, get out of there.” Nalin snapped the microphone out of Nobu’s hand.

“I’m nearly there!”

“The gang knows, get the fuck out of there!” Isao repeated.

Takeshi did not listen to them, switching the earphone off.

“Is he fucking insane?” Rest of the gang gathered closer.

“Dad, what’s going on?” Kisumi asked as Sousuke and Rin moved to stand by him, faces confused.

Isao just shook his head, hands tight on the frame of the chair Nobu was sat on. Keep calm, he thought. Takeshi is going to be okay. Rin was not meant to be busted in front of everybody. It would make Takeshi’s hard work useless.

They waited for a while in silence, incapable of doing anything. Muscles tensed, they all stood up when they heard a small sound in the speakers.

“Takeshi?” Iwao asked quickly.

“Found the kids,” his whisper was weak.

Shiro moved uncomfortably. Isao and Nobu exchanged a look.

“Okay.” Nobu said calmly. “Relax. Put cameras in each corner.”

After a few moments the TV received live pictures. They stayed quiet, taking in the images of a small room with a lot of kids inside huge cages. They were all asleep and the gang was unsure whether drugged or exhausted. Small, thin bodies, some hugging, some covered with dirty blankets. Takeshi was standing in the middle, hands curled into fists.

“You can’t do anything now, Takeshi. Just leave.” Nalin said quietly.

Takeshi was frozen for a few seconds, but finally closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath in before he started moving up. Yakuza kept an eye on all the monitors, watching if the gang was waiting anywhere for Takeshi. But it seemed unaware.

“There’s something wrong.” Isao whispered, so Takeshi would not hear.

Takeshi moved outside the ship through entrance and went right to the highest place where he placed their best camera. Now they had a view everywhere.

“Get that helicopter ready.” Takeshi knew his job was done as he stepped down. Now he had to wait until the machine would show up and take him away from the ship. He stayed hidden.

Kin was on the phone and it took minutes before Takeshi was told to get ready and move to the edge. He did smoothly, looking around ensuring that nobody was waiting.

He worried, because he expected the gang to be ready. Unless he was really that unnoticeable, but they should have been having patrols everywhere. Especially outside where he was easiest to catch.

His steps soundless, the sea loudest hitting the surface of the ship, he nearly reached the edge when it happened.

Takeshi shouted when something tightened around his ankles and he suddenly flew upside down. With his body so light it took a few seconds until the line stopped jerking and he tried to catch the floor with his hands, fingers barely grasping it. He felt sick and his gang’s screams in his ear did not help.

He realised why they were screaming when he felt a kick in his face. He scowled in pain, blood distorting his view. There was a man grinning at him, clearly excited he caught him.

“Always can count on me to make the best trap, ai?” He kicked him again.

It was difficult to focus upside down, hurt and bleeding. When he tried to quickly lift himself and grab a knife attached to his ankle, the man punched him in the ribs, stopping him from breathing for a few moments.

The little speaker in his ear sounding of every gang member telling him what to do, and what he thought were Isao’s angry shouts at the rest of Yakuza, really did not help.

Takeshi did not understand why the guy just kept him upside down, kicking and punching, instead of calling other gang members. But then there were more shouts and through a fog he saw another man coming as his mouth filled with blood.

“Oh, no.” Isao whispered, feeling numb.

“Where the fuck is the helicopter!” Nobu shouted at Kin.

“There’s a fucking storm coming, they’re slowed down!” Kin snapped, nervousness making his hands shake.

“Satoru.” The gangster heard footsteps, but did not turn around, hungry eyes still on Takeshi. Satoru was the only one who would walk so slowly towards them knowing that a Yakuza boss was just caught. A pray was a pray to him.

Takeshi felt his blood freezing, the rain that came with a flash on the sky clearing his face yet disturbing his view even more.

And then there was panic, more screams in his ear, and he saw Satoru pilling a gun out. Takeshi stopped moving, dangling useless, and he wondered whether he was meant to say anything.

He heard Isao’s whisper, the broken voice saying ‘Please, dad, no…’ and Nalin telling his people to shoot, so angry and with such authority which Takeshi haven’t heard for so long, and he knew that they saw everything.

“It’s your fucking fault.” Sousuke rasped out, eyes terrified and hands curled into fists as he looked at Isao who was standing with his back turned towards him. “If my dad dies because of yours, it is your. Fucking. Fault.” He was so angry, so mad at Isao standing there pretending to care when he did not have the guts to kill the monster who nearly murdered and attacked Takeshi not once before.

Isao did not think, vision turning red as his muscles tensed and he turned so quickly with his fist pulled back, ready to kill the stupid kid who dared to accuse him when the reason for everything wrong that was happening lately was standing right by him. And he knew, he knew he should have killed his father, but he did not and now Takeshi was there alone, probably not even hearing them anymore, vulnerable and hurt with one monster and another, his own father pointing a gun at him, ready to murder him with cold blood not even giving him a fair chance to save himself.

And then there was a shot.

Isao turned back so quickly, the gang shouting, some covering their eyes, and his heart stopped beating. But there was a body on the floor of the ship and it was the gangster not Takeshi, and Satoru was standing with a knife by him, cutting the rope off. Takeshi slammed on the floor with a loud noise, face cringing from pain. He tried to lift himself up but seeing his state, Satoru who did not have enough heart to catch him before falling, had enough to grab him and help him stand, holding him up by his arms.

“Where’s the helicopter?” Satoru asked.

Takeshi seemed too shocked to even talk. But then there were voices and Satoru quickly looked behind himself. “Well, let’s check the average intelligence of your best men. The helicopter SHOULD be here in seconds, so a little bit of a swim won’t kill you, will it?” He smiled and put his gun and knife behind Takeshi’s belt as he grabbed him. “Swim to the right.” Takeshi did not even scream when he threw him overboard with such ease that he flew like a ragdoll and he focused on moving his body to dive into the sea without causing too much damage to himself.

His body twisted in the freezing water and he swam as far away from the ship as possible, now realising how dark and cold it was, adrenaline making his heart race. But it was so quiet, the speakers lost in the sea, the ship moving forward fast as he stayed and huge waves covered him over and over again, and he saw them turning all the lights on but they did not catch him anymore.

Yakuza starred in silence.

**

“How did he escape?!” An older man slammed his fist on top of the railing, looking angry overboard in search of Takeshi.

Satoru shrugged standing by him, and took a look at the dead gangster. “He was shot in between his eyes, and the rope was cut with a knife. Pretty obvious, isn’t?”

The man groaned in frustration, eyes shining furious. And then they heard a sound of an upcoming machine and lights brightening a place far behind them.

“Well, there he is,” he snapped stopping himself from screaming in anger, the helicopter clearly looking for and getting Takeshi from the sea soon after.

“He’s gone?” They heard a soft voice behind them.

Satoru looked to the side as a boy stood by him, thin pale hands catching the railing. He was encased in a black robe, hood covering his face as he caught it to keep it in place when the wind blew over.

“He is.” Satoru said quietly.

He stayed quiet.

“Come on, I will take you to your room. You’re going to get cold.” Satoru extended his hand and the boy took it, letting him wrap an arm around him. They left, rest of the gangsters trying to shoot at the helicopter.

They would not reach it. He knew it was too far away.

**

“Takeshi!” Isao ran out of the car towards him now wrapped in a blanket, sitting with his legs dangling out of the helicopter in the middle of nowhere. Takeshi automatically stood up forgetting about the wounds and Isao caught him as his legs gave up under him. “God, you’re okay, you’re okay…” Isao wrapped his arms around him, kissing the top of his head, Takeshi’s short hair standing in every direction. “I was so scared,” he whispered in his neck and lifted him bridal style after a few moments, ensured by the doctor that Takeshi was fine.

He took him to the car and James grinned, sitting behind the wheel. “Thanks for giving us a heart attack, asshole.”

“Love you too.” Takeshi smiled, one eye covered with a bandage, rest of the face painted in red bruises soon to turn purple. Isao kept on checking over him, eyes angry as he uncovered his arms to see more wounds and asking what happened to the leg. “It is fine, just a sprained ankle. And a few broken ribs.” Takeshi wrapped the blanket tighter around himself, resting his head sitting sideways and letting Isao lift his legs to put them over his lap, stroking to warm him up.

He was cold, lips a blue hue, and his eyes were still seeing Satoru with a gun telling the gangster to turn around and shooting him in between his eyes, and the ocean trying to pull him down. It’s a terrifying moment when you cannot do anything, darkness all around you, even the stars gone when the storm hid them all. And he was scared because somehow it felt good and he thought about staying and letting the ocean take him. Nothing would hurt anymore, he would not need to wait for the chemotherapy and watch himself waste away, making everybody sad. Selfishly he thought that others would think that he could not do anything.

But he still heard the echo of the scared voices of his family and he swam up with all the strength he had and looked for the rocks to keep himself on them before the helicopter would arrive, feeling the rest of his strength leaving him. The storm was getting worse and he had to grab a hold of one rock before he would just end up thrown against them all painfully.

Takeshi smiled when Isao put his jacket over him as his eyes started closing against his wish. He was so tired and Isao just let his legs rest on the sofa and moved closer to him, sitting behind him as he stayed sat sideways, and enveloped him into a hug.

“Sleep.” He kissed the top of his head.

Isao held Takeshi wondering who really was their enemy and who was their friend. Everything was only becoming more and more complicated. Rin, Sousuke, his father... Maybe they were wrong about everything.

But at least for now Takeshi was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to all the new readers, subscribers, and bookmarkers ;)  
> Thank you for every single kudo and comment, for every message and conversation <3
> 
> Satoru & Katsu  
> 
> 
> Head over to http://nightcloak-fanfiction.tumblr.com for pictures of the boy who showed up by Satoru and more on Satoru, Katsu, and rest of the gang :)


	66. The Traitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwao wasn’t sure whether to walk up to Isao who was clearly trying to stop himself from showing emotions, or James who bit his teeth together so hard and closed his eyes as the pain beamed from him, or Akira hugging his pillow, or Kin hugging Takeshi, or Nalin who seemed to be putting all the pressure on himself like he would never forgive himself if Takeshi would not survive under his watch, or Nobu watching them…  
> And then he realised they all needed comfort and the comfort was Takeshi’s survival. Nothing else would be enough.

Takeshi bit his lip in pain as he accidently stood on the sprained ankle. He sat on the edge of the bath, towel tightly wrapped around his chest under his arms, his reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall, quite far away.

And thank God it was, he thought, seeing himself in it.

He bruised so easily lately that he looked like a caricature of himself after the previous evening. And even he noticed the thinness, seemingly underlined with the dark shades all over his body.

At least his hair grew back.

“Everything okay?” Isao came in, only pyjama pants on, and hair a complete mess on his head.

“Yeah, jump in if you want.” Takeshi stretched his hurt leg out as Isao walked in and reached over him to turn the tap on, so the water could pour inside the bath. He made sure to kiss his cheek making Takeshi chuckle.

“What?” Isao put his hands by his hips, trapping him in between them.

Takeshi reached for his head to push his hands through the blonde curls, grinning forgetting for a moment how he feels. “Don’t cut them.”

Isao mumbled something, already under the spell of having his hair played with. 

“I will get ready, you hurry up too.” Takeshi shook his head and stood up, Isao catching him quickly and helping him walk back to the bedroom where he would find it easier to manoeuvre on his own.

Takeshi smiled before Isao left to take a bath, trying to pretend he did not notice his worried look. His condition was becoming more and more visible, and he could not hide his body from Isao. At least clothes helped and others thought nothing changed.

He sighed and moved to the huge mirror, bag full of make up ready.

**

“Rin is the traitor?!”

Takeshi was sat on the sofa in the living room, leg propped up on the pillow placed on the coffee table. The boys were all with him, sitting wherever they found a little bit of space.

Kin seemed a little out of it, his head on his shoulder. Takeshi could smell alcohol from him.

“How long have you known for?” Nobu asked Isao, clearly frustrated he wasn’t informed.

“Well, we weren’t sure.” Isao explained, watching Takeshi patting Kin on the cheek while trying not to laugh. “This was the last proof we needed.”

“So he is the one who poisoned you?” James sat on the arm of the sofa right by Takeshi.

“Yes,” Takeshi answered simply. “I always said that he is first likely to betray, so it did cross my mind that it could have been him. Then I used Shiro to see if after seeing us together Rin would tell the gang and in result they would be waiting for me on the ship.”

They looked at him with so much anger hearing of him keeping the real danger of the mission a secret that he pulled the blanket tighter around himself and right under his nose.

“And nobody else but Rin’s little brother said that basically Rin and his mother were very concerned that Takeshi still seems quite well…” Isao bit the inside of his cheek.

They starred speechless.

“So what do we do, kill him?” Akira asked, breaking the silence.

Takeshi sighed seeing them shrugging, clearly ready to go the second he would tell them to. “Guys…”

“And this is where the excuses start.” Isao interrupted, already shaking his head.

“Takeshi, come on.” James stood up, and it is been awhile since he saw him so frustrated.

“Before you attack me, I remind you that I have always warned that he is going to be a traitor.” Takeshi noticed with a slight annoyance. “And all of you laughed in my face, saying how I am fixated over things he did as a kid. For a while even I tried to make him feel like at home, but sensing that he is only becoming worse, I finally told Sousuke to stop involving the kid. Unfortunately too late.”

They became quiet and he felt a slight satisfaction. He would never, ever blame them for what Rin did, but he wanted them to notice that maybe it wasn’t the best idea to dis his intuition.

“He brought Rin yesterday,” Isao said. “I thought he was wise enough to only inform him of the mission right before it, but then Kisumi showed up and said that Rin told him about it.”

“You are kidding…” Iwao shook his head. This was bloody ridiculous. And he was angrier about them letting all of this happen than at the fact that Rin did it.

He could not even say the words. Rin was responsible for Takeshi’s state. For his upcoming death. For how badly he was feeling right now.

Takeshi has warned them. And they did not listen.

Yet now he was the one paying the price.

“Sousuke is pissed with me, of course he is going to do everything that I would not want him to do.” Takeshi chuckled, feeling a slight pang in his chest.

“Very mature. Our future boss.” James said ironically.

“He’s just a kid,” Takeshi said quietly.

“Stop excusing him.” Isao’s eyes were on him. “He wants to be treated like an adult, which he is by the way, then do it.”

“You already did, it is enough.”

Isao rolled his eyes and Nobu cocked an eyebrow. “You are the one who gave him the beautiful black eye, huh?”

“He deserved it.” Isao shrugged. He did not regret it one bit.

“What happened between you guys?” Akira asked, arms around a pillow.

“It doesn’t matter.” Isao answered, not wanting them to make Takeshi talk. He knew that Takeshi feared everybody finding out, and he would do everything to keep it a secret. Even if it concerned punching Sousuke’s face again.

Takeshi played with the sleeve of his shirt, unsure what to do. He did not want them to find out from anyone but him. Maybe he should trust that Sousuke would not tell.

But he did not.

“Sousuke found out about something by breaking into my bedroom.” He started unsure, smiling when Nalin sat on his other side in quiet support.

“He broke into your room?” Iwao seemed disgusted.

“He was angry that I wasn’t telling him anything about myself.”

“Way to gain your trust.” James snorted. He could be so noisy and yet there were borders even he did not cross out of simple respect. He understood where the kid was coming from, but if Takeshi was so upset that Isao punched Sousuke, his godson, then it had to be worse than it sounded.

“Do you remember when…” Takeshi stopped. When Nalin poisoned him? Way to start on a bad note. When Satoru punched him? The man who saved his ass yesterday? Takeshi closed his eyes.

“When I poisoned him.” Nalin said. “A few months ago.”

Takeshi noticed Nobu looking at him, already figuring out what he wanted to tell others.

“Right.” They nodded.

“The poison was never meant to be so strong,” he explained slowly. “Something increased its strength and I figured out that it was hormones.”

“Hormones?” Akira seemed confused.

“Those that increase with pregnancy.” Isao added, when Nalin wasn’t sure if he was allowed to say more.

“You were… You were pregnant?” James sat back in shock, voice soft.

Takeshi swallowed hard, not trusting himself to speak. Out of all of them he shared most of his secrets with James. He knew everything about him. He probably even knew things that Isao did not. James’ been his friend since he could remember and it was never about anything else but pure love and trust. He never betrayed him, Takeshi never even questioned him. James shared his biggest secrets with him, and Takeshi felt safe to do the same in return.

On the days when James needed to eat, they talked about everything. This was why James was so overprotective of him, knowing how badly he wanted to create a happy family with Isao.

“There was no other choice but to force a miscarriage, so Takeshi could survive.” Nalin finished and Isao noticed the lack of naming, blaming, anything, instead just a clear information.

Takeshi smiled feeling his eyelashes being a little wet, blinking the tears back as Kin lifted his head and placed a kiss on his cheek.

“I am sorry, darling.” Nobu spoke and even though he had known for so long he never actually touched the subject. It was never his story to tell or interrupt.

“I am sorry I have not told any of you, but…” Takeshi started quietly.

“You did not need to tell us.” Iwao interrupted.

They were silent for a while and Takeshi could feel the situation becoming slightly uncomfortable. Nobody said it, but he could feel the eyes on Nalin who crossed his arms over his chest, pose defensive. Nalin was a man of honour and this was why he apologised to Takeshi. But he would not let himself be beaten up by others. It was never their fight.

“So.” Takeshi quickly changed the subject. “Rin.”

“Do you have a plan?” Nobu asked. He put Takeshi’s hurt leg on his lap, sitting himself more comfortably on the coffee table.

“Isao and I are going to go to him. In the evening Sousuke leaves for a mission and I feel that Rin might try to run.”

They seemed surprised. “You think he guessed that you know?”

“Well, he saw Shiro, he knows we figured out that we have a traitor…” Takeshi shrugged. “I need to talk with him either way, so let’s do it as quickly as possible.”

“Wait, so you are not planning to tell Sousuke?” Iwao asked.

“No.”

“What exactly do you want to talk about with Rin?” Nobu furrowed his eyebrows. He did not seem too happy, feeling that he won’t like the answer.

“I want to turn him.”

James snorted, standing up. “Really? That little bitch? You think he has the guts to be a double agent?” He went to the window, surprisingly irritated.

“Rin had enough guts to poison me, his boyfriend’s father and a Yakuza boss, so I think that if I will promise him to save his precious Haru and not tell Sousuke then he will do as I say. Not to mention the fact that otherwise he will end up dead.” Takeshi moved a little uncomfortable in his current position and Kin moved his head only to put it back on his shoulder five seconds later.

“Do you think he poisoned you because of Haru?” Nobu seemed to be thinking about something.

“Partly. They probably threatened him.” Takeshi nodded. “And they had to promise him to keep the kid safe. You did notice that he stopped asking about him, right?”

They were quiet, blood boiling. It was so obvious, so right in front of their faces. If they would have listened to Takeshi… And the frustrating irony was that Rin not only proved Takeshi’s ‘once a traitor, always a traitor’ saying but once again he did it for the same guy. Once again prioritised Haru over Sousuke himself when he poisoned his father.

Just like Takeshi warned.

“No matter how afraid he is going to be, at the end of the day you need to be intelligent to be a double agent. He is not. He looked to be shitting himself yesterday, without even knowing if we think he is the traitor.” James shook his head. “He will bust himself in five minutes.”

Takeshi smiled.

“Oh.” Iwao snorted. “And so then the problem won’t be yours.” He was starting to worry whether Takeshi completely lost his touch, but luckily he was wrong.

“Huh?” Akira asked.

“If Rin will bust himself then the gang will kill him. Sousuke will find out that Rin was a traitor and ended up getting killed.”

“So… It would have no connection with you.” Akira looked at Takeshi who nodded.

“The only thing I am surprised with is that you are capable of fooling your son.” Nalin cocked his head. This kind of evil plan sounded like something Takeshi, the boss he knew, would do. But to Sousuke? Would Takeshi really be capable of living with the knowledge that his son is being kept in complete dark and then act surprised that his boyfriend, father of Takeshi’s grandchild, was killed? And he practically made it happen?

He did not blame Takeshi; Rin poisoned him, Sousuke was being a brat. Takeshi was a mafia boss. But Nalin knew how Takeshi was.

Unless… Right. Takeshi was ensured he was going to die soon.

“I will live with it.” For as long as he would manage.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to go?” Kin mumbled in his neck.

“No.” Takeshi patted him on his cheek again and laughed seeing Iwao’s disappointed face screaming ‘I want to see it!’.

“Okay, another thing.” Nobu put his hand on Takeshi’s ankle. “How are you feeling? Is there anything we can help with? We need an update on your health.”

“I’m okay.” Takeshi knew what they were asking about, but he pretended to not. Maybe they would not push.

He sat in silence until he realised that he cannot run away from answering the question.

“After re-opening of Underground I will need to go to the hospital.” Takeshi said. “And basically go through something like chemotherapy.”

“And that will help?” Iwao asked hopefully.

Takeshi tried to answer, but ended up only shrugging his shoulders. He did not even ask. He did not even want to know. After Underground…

It was the end.

“I will give Takeshi very strong chemicals that should at least slow down the process of the poison,” Nalin explained in a calm voice. “It’s worse than chemotherapy, much stronger and the effects are going to be painful. But I see no other way of trying to stop the poison.”

“So the poison will weaken you, but this will make you feel like hell.” James moved closer to them, slight desperation in his voice. “How is this helping?”

“Because this should extend his life or hopefully save it. Otherwise the poison will soon kill him.” Nalin answered.

James shook his head seemingly not wanting to hear about it. Takeshi was not dying. Takeshi was going to be fine! They’ve made him angry just talking like little could be done.

“Is it worth waiting for so long?” Nobu asked, already knowing the answer.

“I’ve mentally prepared myself to put myself through it after Underground, okay?” Takeshi laughed but it sounded desperate. “The opening is important to me. And I want one last party.”

Takeshi realised how he sounded when they’ve became unbearably quiet, starring at him. But it was true. This was most likely his last party. From what he understood the chemotherapy was going to ruin him completely. He hopefully won’t die during it, but he doubted it would make him better. He would probably end up living longer, but begging for death himself.

He would go through this for them, to be here as long as possible even if it meant living in pain. But they needed to start preparing themselves for his death and stop acting like it was not going to happen.

James stood by the window, practically pressing his forehead to it, refusing to look at him as the only one.

“Every single one of us is trying to help.” Nobu finally spoke up, stroking his ankle softly. “We’re doing what we can trying to find a cure, but it does slow us down needing to be discreet.”

“I didn’t expect any of you to look for it, or to find anything if you would…” Shock coloured Takeshi’s voice. He did not even think that they were doing anything. What could they do? They did not have any medical knowledge. He did not even ask Nalin for help, because he did not feel he had a right, but he was grateful when he tried. But Nalin was a medical genius.

“Of course we are doing whatever we can.” Iwao threw a pillow at him, finally making him smile and loosening the atmosphere. “We will turn the world upside down just for you.”

Takeshi chuckled, but it only ensured the tears escaped his eyes, and he tried to cover and wipe them away quickly. He felt Kin’s arms wrapping around him and his chin shook and he stopped trying to stop his tears and they ran down his cheeks as he hid his face in Kin’s neck and let his shoulders shake.

Iwao wasn’t sure whether to walk up to Isao who was clearly trying to stop himself from showing emotions, or James who bit his teeth together so hard and closed his eyes as the pain beamed from him, or Akira hugging his pillow, or Kin hugging Takeshi, or Nalin who seemed to be putting all the pressure on himself like he would never forgive himself if Takeshi would not survive under his watch, or Nobu watching them…

And then he realised they all needed comfort and the comfort was Takeshi’s survival. Nothing else would be enough.

**

“If you are going to run away, then they will know you were the one who betrayed them!”

Rin heard through the phone pressed to his ear as he shoved clothes and anything he could need inside his bag. His mom was nervous as much as him, trying to stop him, but he knew what he had to do.

He had to run.

Rin saw the way Shiro looked at him when the gang panicked and he heard some whispers about traitors. That man showed out of nowhere with Takeshi and then at the Christening and now turned out to be involved in trafficking carried out by the other gang. He wasn’t sure, and his mother was trying to stop him from disappearing explaining that it would only prove his betrayal. But he could not wait to see whether he was right or not.

Rin had to take his daughter and run.

“Come on, Sayomi.” The child stood in her cot, watching curiously. She pulled her hands up when he came closer and giggled as he quickly lifted her. “We’re leaving.”

Luckily she was too young to understand what was happening.

Rin threw the big bag over his shoulder and made his way towards the door. He opened it, taking one last look behind himself and then quickly walking out.

Straight into his fear.

“Hello, Rin.” Takeshi smiled charmingly as he stood in the corridor clearly waiting for him, and Rin felt his heart stop.

“Ta-shiii!” Sayomi jumped excited in her dad’s arms, clapping her hands together and quickly extending them towards Takeshi so he would take her in his arms.

Takeshi did, his smile growing. He seemed to have a lot of time, Rin thought, as he winced inwardly feeling his hands on his.

“Won’t you invite us in, darling?” Takeshi asked as she hugged him around his neck and he held her with one hand, another tight on the skull cane that Rin recognised.

Isao stood leaning against the wall and Rin swallowed hard.

“Sure.” He realised how much his hand was shaking when he reached to open the door that shut behind him automatically, and he walked in with them.

What should he do? He just let evil inside.

Takeshi kissed the top of Sayomi’s head and put her in a cot so she could play, and went back to the living room to sit on the armchair as Isao stayed by the door, sufficiently stopping anyone from escaping.

It was funny how much Sousuke seemed to decorate the living room after his mansion. So simple yet with expensive taste.

“Well, then.” Takeshi wasn’t smiling anymore and Rin thought his eyes were darker than ever, and the face he knew that was covered in deep bruises seemed like of porcelain doll, every single imperfection hidden. Black hair, eyes, the suit, and even gloves made such a contrast to his pale skin.

Rin wished Sousuke was here.

“You have a few seconds to start talking, or I will just hand you over to Isao,” Takeshi said quietly.

Rin opened his mouth but closed it back as quickly, hearing the seconds ticking in the clock.

“Isao.”

“No!” Rin lifted his hands quickly, head turning from Isao to Takeshi and back. “I had no choice. I really had no choice!”

Takeshi just moved his head a little to the side and Rin heard Isao stopping half way through on his way to him.

Rin’s breath hitched. “They came to my mom’s house and said that they will kill Sousuke, and mom, and me, and Sayomi…” Rin shook his head. “I had to do what they told me to!”

“So you were threatened, then handed the poison which you gave to me.” Takeshi stated, eyes on Rin’s.

“Ye-ah…”

“You’re lying.” Isao snapped and he jumped a little, hands shaking. Takeshi had to think the same, because he waited for an explanation.

“I just wanted to help Haru.” Rin choked out, feeling his tears running down his cheeks. “You did nothing to help him! Nothing! And the gang promised me that they will let him go if I will do as they say!”

“It’s ‘sir’ to you, brat.” Isao corrected him, surprisingly calmly.

“And have they let him go?” Takeshi asked quietly.

Rin bit his lip. “No. But they said he is safe!”

“Good Lord…” Isao normally stayed quiet when Takeshi was talking with an enemy, but considering this was a stupid kid who was considered their family… He could feel his blood boiling hearing of those pathetic excuses for trying to murder Takeshi.

It was like he had no idea what he has done.

“So you have poisoned me to save your friend instead of giving me more than an hour to try to help, you ignored Haru’s father’s wish… and still you did not get what they have promised you in return yet you continued to work for them.” Even though Takeshi practically guessed the reason for Rin’s betrayal, hearing it from his mouth made it worse. And he never believed in the kid’s loyalty, but realising he really ensured his early death out of plain stupidity, that it was so easy to him… It was his choice. The gang did not force him. Did he even know what he was giving him?

“What could I do…?” Rin hugged himself. He expected them to be shouting, even to attack him, but Takeshi looking at him with disappointment that a father would give his child made him feel worse. “They would have told me to harm you anyway.”

He did not know, Isao thought and closed his eyes to not snap his neck. He was ensured that Rin was threatened so he did as they told. No, he chose to give the poison himself and thought it did not matter because probably they would have told him to hurt Takeshi anyway. And it was clear he had no idea what it exactly was.

“If you’d have felt any loyalty to the gang, and to Sousuke himself, out of respect you would have tried to figure out a way to save yourself that did not include killing me.” Takeshi smiled a little. “You could have came to me from the get go. You knew how powerful I am. Do you know how many of my men constantly receive offers or threats from other gangs? None of them betrayed me. And you would have never found it so easy to poison me just to maybe save your friend who you haven’t been in contact with for months and who never showed loyalty to you in the first place.” Takeshi shook his head. “The gang most likely kidnapped Haru to have you betray Yakuza. And you have played their cards perfectly, so you could have ensured Haru’s death in result, since they stopped needing him when you started working for them.” Takeshi stopped and it became quiet, Rin looking at him terrified, everything slowly making sense to him. Takeshi thought that he will feel satisfaction but he only felt terrible, upsetting disappointment. “There’s a war coming, your friend might be alive somewhere, but the gang won’t give him to you, and I might not be here to help you anymore, because you ensured to weaken me and I might die before the end of the war. You did not even ensure Sousuke’s or Sayomi’s safety. You could have as well handed them to the gang.” Takeshi shook his head. “You are working for us now.” He added, voice strong as he watched Rin pale even more. “You are going to tell me everything that the gang have asked you to do, and will in the future, and everything you noticed and know about them. And make sure they do not know that I found out that you are a traitor. They must still think that you only work for them against me.”

“You want me to continue working for them?” Rin choked out.

“Theoretically.” Takeshi smiled, standing up. “I understand you’re stressed now so I am taking Sayomi away for a few days, so you can gather all your thoughts and write everything you know down, and give to me as soon as possible.”

“What?” Rin gasped in shock. He did not expect that. “You can’t, you…”

“I,” Takeshi underlined and his eyes darkened, stopping on his way to Sayomi’s room and slowly turning around to face him, “could kill you right now for betraying mafia and deathly poisoning their boss. Be grateful you are still alive. If you won’t comply with the rules, I will make your life hell. Starting with telling Sousuke about what you’ve done and making sure your little friend will die instead of trying to save him. Prepare things for my grandchild. Now.” He sneered.

Rin could feel his blood turning cold in fear, but nodded and went to Sayomi’s room to start packing only her items. The girl pulled her hands up as she stood in the cot and Takeshi quickly lifted her, happy smile on his face.

“Takeshi and Isao will take you on an adventure,” Takeshi said to her, grinning as her excitement grew. Luckily Rin was quickly done, so he could grab the bag, letting him hug the child before they left. Sayomi was a brave little girl and not at all upset, so Takeshi breathed out in relief.

**

Isao watched Takeshi putting Sayomi in a car sit, smiling and making funny faces to her, as she laughed showing him her favourite toy. A plushy toy dragon she received from Takeshi.

He could not remember the last time Takeshi was so innocently happy.

“Are you going to sit in the front?” Isao asked.

“No, I will stay in the back.” He smiled back at him, hands busy making sure Sayomi is secured, and Isao blinked in surprise, but turned the engine on and drove.

“Why exactly did we take the kiddo?” Isao asked a little unsure. Takeshi did not tell him that it was his plan.

“I can’t leave her with him seeing that he wanted to run.” Takeshi explained. “There is no guarantee he won’t try to run now.” After a few quiet moments he continued. “And I am terrified that he wanted to run straight to that gang with a child…” He could take anything, even the fact that Rin poisoned him, but putting in danger his grand child… Takeshi bit his teeth together, feeling the anger building up. Rin saw what those people did to children. Was he really so foolish to trust that they would not harm her?

He felt himself relaxing when Sayomi caught his hand interested in the rings on his fingers and he focused back on her. She had Sousuke’s eyes, so big and bright, and Takeshi could not let anyone take that innocence and happiness away. The image of children in cages, starved and weak, hurt and seeking love was haunting him. But he was already doing whatever he could and there was no way to hurry up others more. Unless he wanted to ruin everything.

**

“Fluffy!” Sayomi waved to the dog, which excited tried to jump at Takeshi who held her in his arms. He laughed and kneeled on the grass in front of the mansion pulling the dog down by the collar with him so he would lie down. Sayomi quickly reached with her small hands towards his fur and started stroking his ears.

“What happened to their dog?” Isao kneeled by them after checking if the gate fully closed.

“They gave it to the mother, she has a garden. An apartment, even if big, isn’t exactly fit for those pups.” Takeshi looked with fond at Sayomi playing with Fluff.

Isao brought his arm around him and kissed the top of his head, stroking his arms to keep him warm. “Let’s go inside.”

When they sat inside they both watched Sayomi being fully focused on the dog. Every child was different, but it was funny to feel not needed in child’s company. They both could remember raising their children and how much trouble it sometimes was. 

Yet they only regretted not being with them more often.

Takeshi turned his head hearing Isao sighing.

“You won’t mind if I will go to the gym tonight, right?” Isao asked, tips of his fingers stroking Takeshi’s neck. “Just for a bit.”

“Are you okay?” Takeshi asked quietly.

“Sure.” Isao smiled, now scratching his back, laughing quietly when Takeshi straightened with a murmur. “But I just…” He bit his lip, shaking his head. “I wanted to hurt him so bad…” Takeshi could see the anger in his eyes even if he refused to look at him. If Isao could not let it out on the person then he did on the punching bag.

“Hey.” Takeshi softly caught his jaw between his thin fingers. “I know you are mad and want to react, but let’s take it easy, okay? Everything has it ending, this will too.”

“You know what I am afraid of?” Isao asked quietly, now eyes on him. “That you will let him go. For Sousuke’s sake.” The thing about Takeshi was that if someone would hurt one of his people, he would tear them apart. But hurt Takeshi and he would find any excuse. Either because forgiving meant making someone else happy, or simply because he felt his life was worth so little.

In this case, it was about murdering his son’s boyfriend, father of their child. But so what when he hurt Takeshi like the worst enemy would?

“I probably would.” He smiled when Isao tensed, frustrated tugging his own hair. “But this isn’t only about me and Sousuke. I can’t leave the gang with a traitor.” He shrugged.

“You said once that since this is only about you then there’s nothing to fear.”

“I thought at the beginning that they told him to give me the poison and he did fearing for his family’s life.” Takeshi chuckled. “He hated me, he obviously prioritised his family which included my son. So I accepted it. But when he made it clear that it was his own choice…” Takeshi became quiet, and he turned his head away, back to Sayomi who continued on tugging on dog’s ears. “I can’t leave the gang with someone who holds absolutely no loyalty to them and has such terrible priorities.”

“I would not let him live simply for making you so sick.” Isao said, hand tightening on his hip. “If you would die…” The only thing that would keep Isao alive after Takeshi’s death was the need to murder Rin. After, he could not care less.

He was going to die, Takeshi thought, but he did not say anything. What good could come from reminding Isao that there was no “if”?

Isao straightened up to sit right by him on the edge and kissed his shoulder, making Takeshi close his eyes for a moment, feeling subtle pleasure. “I remember when you’ve told me to murder people who just looked at you the wrong way.” His lips twisted in a smile against his skin, teasing it with the soft touch of them as he felt Takeshi’s body shaking from a muted laugh.

“Are you telling me I’ve grown soft?” Takeshi cocked an eyebrow, flirty look on his face as he put it closer to Isao’s.

“You?” Isao loved when he looked at him such, all dark and sexy, the black fringe trying to cover his eyes. “Maybe in this case…” Or maybe if he would tease him enough he would snap and kill.

Another quiet laugh. “I know what you are doing.” Isao felt his sharp nails on his cheek. “His life should not bother you so much, really, darling. Because now instead of being peacefully dead, he is sick from worrying about needing to play a double agent.”

Isao still did not look convinced and Takeshi understood that he feared Rin causing even more damage. But Takeshi was ready to threat his own life even more if maybe they would get something out of Rin. He was dying anyway, all Rin could do was kill him sooner.

Takeshi saw death as a reward, not punishment. He was the one who thought of ending his life to finally find peace, not further his pain. Why would he give peace to Rin after what he did to him?

**

Sat on the bed Takeshi caught Sayomi’s leg when she crawled away from him and pulled her back, making her giggle. Isao and him just gave her a bath and he tried to put the pyjama on her, but with no success.

“Come on, you.” Takeshi chuckled and flipped her on her back, bending to blow air into her tummy, receiving more giggles in return as she tried to grab his hair. He let her grab the bottle of lotion instead which she found more interesting than any toys, and she finally stayed still enough to let him slip the pyjama on and brush her pink hair back.

Isao was busy putting together a bed for her and he grinned in satisfaction when he finished. “You know, we could have used a travel bed.”

“But this one looks better in our room.” Takeshi shrugged.

“It is for one, maybe two nights.” Isao snorted, but he was not surprised. He expected no less from Takeshi.

Takeshi pointed at the pillows and duvets, and Isao put them inside the cot. Takeshi grasped the little girl and showed her the bed, waiting for approval, and she happily went inside it to hug her plushy dragon as Takeshi covered her so she would feel cosy and warm.

“Is she seriously going to sleep just like that?” Isao stood by Takeshi as they watched her getting comfortable and closing her eyes tiredly, dragon in her arms.

“Maybe she’s not a real child?” Takeshi considered.

Where was crying? Whining? Asking for stories, dying from sudden thirst and hunger? Needing to have conversations about the meaning of life? Okay, Sousuke was a little older when he asked him questions that had him debating with his men for hours later, but still.

She just went to sleep.

“I bet there’s a bad side to this.”

**

“You smell so nice.” Isao murmured in Takeshi’s neck as he hugged him from behind. It was a late night when they finally lied down on the bed, ensured that Sayomi could not possibly be only pretending to be asleep.

Takeshi smiled feeling his lips on his neck and closed his eyes. “Isao…” he warned feeling the keen hand sneaking underneath his long shirt encasing his hips. “Isao!” he whispered loudly feeling the fingers grasping his shorts and trying to pull them down.

“What?”

“We have a child in the room, come on.” He turned around and slapped him lightly on the head.

Isao pouted. “She’s asleep, though.”

“She can wake up at any time, or worse, we would wake her up, and she would see us.” Takeshi shook his head and grabbed his hand to put it on his middle instead. “Behave.”

“So I won’t be able to touch you until she goes back home?” Isao asked terrified.

Takeshi giggled. “Two nights, you fool.”

“That’s two nights too many!”

Takeshi shushed him by putting his hand over his mouth, Isao kissing it happily.

“We will find a babysitter.”

Takeshi would roll his eyes but they both felt small weight on their mattress and they looked down to see a small bundle of joy crawling towards them happily.

“I knew it was too beautiful to be real.” Isao sighed in pretended disappointment and took his hand off Takeshi to let Sayomi lie down between them. He reached over her to grab Takeshi again but she caught his hand with a giggle before he managed to.

“Ta-shi!” She kept holding him and put her other hand on Takeshi’s lips after he brought the covers over her too to keep them three warm.

Isao smiled seeing Takeshi’s eyes lightening up. His attention was on Sayomi, stroking her hair until she fell asleep.

They were quiet for a while.

“You know what frustrates me the most about the poisoning?” Takeshi suddenly asked quietly.

Isao blinked a little surprised. “Probably not the same thing as me,” Isao sighed. 

Takeshi lied back down, chuckling, but his eyes stayed on him. “Let me guess. What bothers you is that it is so unfair because someone prioritised another life over mine?”

Isao cringed. Yes it did bother him. It bothered him so much that Takeshi was sick because of a brat who decided to kill him for the sake of his friend who did not even give a shit about him. Especially considering that no choice had to be made. Takeshi wanted to save the kid. He wanted to fucking save him. It wasn’t between his life or Haru’s. If not Rin…

He could feel his blood boiling, now feeling the effects of deciding to not go to the gym after all. They spent such a long time watching Sayomi sleeping that it calmed him, but now the madness was back. He needed to take it out, not sooth it.

“Isao.” He felt Takeshi’s hand on his cheek, soft and warm. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay.” Isao pressed his fingers to his eyes. He felt like crying from frustration. A good excuse would not make Takeshi’s poisoning easier to digest, nothing would, but if anything could have made it worse, it was realisation why Rin did it to him. Rin, the boy Takeshi warned them about, but then pampered himself over and over again because they told him to get over it.

Rin threw it all back in his face in the most ugly way. He did not even care.

“Look, you…” Takeshi bit his lip, stroking his cheek. “You’re young, you will…”

“Stop.”

“Isao…”

“Stop!” Isao snapped, sitting himself up. He wanted to shout at him. Shake him. He hated how Takeshi was acting about his possible death. He thought none of them would care. That they will just move on. Like he wasn’t an important part of life of every single brother in the gang, and Isao’s half. The better half.

Takeshi moved towards the end of the bed to join him. “I am sorry.” He shouldn’t have started in the first place. It only upset Isao.

“It’s not your fault,” Isao whispered. It wasn’t. Takeshi wasn’t the one who taught himself to feel worthless. “Please tell me what you wanted to say.”

Takeshi shrugged. “On one hand, I want to laugh because what Rin did was not even just pointless, but harmful towards him and Haru as much. On the other hand, it terrifies me how easy it was for him to poison me. I was aware that he wasn’t a fan of me, but this amount of hatred… I don’t think I deserved.” He hasn’t done anything to Rin, he actually tried quite a few things to gain some of his trust and sympathy. And Rin was always so weak, apparently, yet when it came to ruining his life he suddenly gained such confidence? It made even Takeshi want to punch something. “But.” He smiled, seeing Isao nodding in agreement with him, frustrated biting his teeth together. “I won’t mention it anymore.” Takeshi promised, hand stroking Isao’s arm. He did not need to tell, Isao knew everything he was thinking. He only ruined the mood.

Isao shook his head and turned to face him. “Takeshi, please listen to me.” He lowered his voice wanting to make sure he won’t wake Sayomi up. “I want you to talk. I want you to tell me everything you think and how you feel. And I really want you to realise how much you mean to all of us and especially me. Nothing will be the same without you. Nothing will be as good. True, the boys have families they will continue to live for. But the happiness you gave them will be gone and they will remember every day that you’re not here anymore.” He stopped for a minute, the image flashing in his mind tightening his throat. “James holds onto you and does not even consider his life without you. Nalin is basically the same. I know Sousuke has been odd lately but he will be devastated, and Sayomi won’t forget you. The scar that will be left on each of them…” Isao closed his eyes for a minute. “I won’t be able to live without you. I would get insane. This isn’t about my contract, this is how I feel. And… I can only assume but look what happened to my father when he stayed after Katsu died. He went completely mad. I don’t want to be him.”

Takeshi was quiet for a few moments, feeling as if a rope was tied around his neck. Isao was an expert in making him reveal his vulnerable side. And maybe if he was asking him to, he should finally tell him how he really feels…

“I don’t want to die.” His chin shook and he bit his teeth together to stop himself from crying but soon felt the tears slowly making their way down his cheeks anyway. “But I fear more for all of you and I am trying to make it better, I feel like you should not care but I know you do, I just did not know you care this much, and I wish you did not so it would be easier. I thought you will support each other, I…” He quickly wiped the tears off his face. “I really fear the chemotherapy.” He finally admitted and weight dropped off his heart after long exhausting weeks. “Nalin does not want to tell me too much but it is obvious that it is going to be hell.” He chuckled desperately. “After the past year I am getting used to pain, but I fear what’s next. I don’t want to become a burden, unable to do anything just twisting in pain and being completely dependant on all of you. I don’t want that to be my ending. I am scared.” He hid his face in his hands, arms shaking. He was tired too, months spent trying to ensure nobody would even notice his death, but it was impossible to accomplish, now Sousuke seemed to be breaking away from the gang, manipulated by Rin, he did not know what to do about the both of them, and the gang would probably manage without him, but it was true that Nalin and James were somehow dependant on him, and Isao… His Isao really was going to die with him, even if his son needed a father. And maybe it was true that it was for the better, as tragic as it sounded, because seeing what happened to Satoru…

Takeshi felt Isao’s arms tightening around him, fitting in them like a perfect puzzle. He believed in soul mates, Isao had a more practical approach, but he thought that even Isao would agree that there was something between them that just held them together and this was why neither could imagine carrying without another. Could Takeshi blame Isao for wanting to die with him if he knew that he himself would never want to live without him?

“I will do everything I can to help you and make it easier for you.” Isao whispered in his ear, hugging his small body. “Everything, I promise. I will be by your side every step of the way, support, and love… anything you will need. I wish I could take the pain off you, but I can’t.” When Takeshi said that he was used to the pain, Isao felt sick. Nobody should be used to it.

“I would never want you to go through this.” Takeshi mumbled in his shoulder, relaxing in his arms. It was the truth, he preferred to suffer till the end than see anybody else hurt.

“Of course you would not.” He whispered, wishing there was a way to take the pain away or at least on his own shoulders. How much could Takeshi suffer before not him but his mind and body would give up? He hid his face in his neck, dread running through his body. Isao just wanted him happy and healthy, but all that was coming was awful pain and seeing his loved one wasting away. Even when… No, they will stop it, but Takeshi will feel the effect of the poison, of the chemo, before they will manage to fully heal him.

And how bad was it meant to get?

Isao closed his eyes.

The room silent, they both looked up quickly when they heard the door being opened and saw Fluff happily storming inside the bedroom.

They should have not been surprised considering the dog taught itself how to get in a long time ago. Isao wanted to snap at the dog, but Fluff came to Takeshi and sniffed at him, quickly deciding to lick his cheek seeing the tears. The dog was so big that he did not even need to jump on the bed to reach Takeshi’s face.

“Fluff!” Takeshi tried to be disgusted, but the chuckle escaped his mouth and he caught his big face and stroked him, the dog waggling his tail happily. Fluff accomplished his mission.

They did not have time to react before he jumped on the bed and quickly took Takeshi’s space by Sayomi.

“Hey, you!” Isao and Takeshi tried to shoo him away, but he ignored them pretending to already be asleep and Sayomi reached to grab some of his fur in her hand without waking up.

“It is like they have a secret pact.” Isao side eyed them, but quickly his lips twisted in a smug smile. “Well you know what that means?” He quickly pulled Takeshi back into his embrace.

Takeshi kissed his lips softly, already having an idea what could make him so happy.

“We both have to fit on my side.” Isao sighed in pretended disappointment.

“You seem so heartbroken about it.” Takeshi gasped, happy that Fluff cheered up the atmosphere.

Isao laughed and pulled Takeshi down with him, both quickly making themselves comfortable with Isao pressed to Takeshi’s back, arm protective around him. Takeshi smiled, feeling his lips on his shoulder.

“I love you,” Isao whispered.

I will be there for you. I will support you. I will help you. I will do everything I can. You can count on me. We will find a way. We will go through this together. Everything is going to be okay.

Everything has to be okay.

Takeshi closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Please leave a kudo or comment or maybe a message! Or all three if you wish :P  
> Thank you to all who always leave a note <333


	67. Kisumi Shigino

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takeshi turned around and wrapped his arms around Kisumi, kissing the top of his head. “You’re very welcome. You deserve it, kiddo.”  
> “I haven’t done anything.” Kisumi looked up in his eyes.   
> “You’re a good kid, it isn’t about doing anything specific.” Takeshi shrugged. “But.” He grinned and Kisumi sensed trouble. “So what’s going on between you and Ren, huh?”

“I did not know he was pregnant.”

Isao blinked surprised and looked at his friend. They were sitting on the floor of the boxing gym, currently having a short break after the first hour of training.

Isao had a plan to visit the gym in the early morning, foolishly thinking that Takeshi and Sayomi would sleep till late. Well, Takeshi probably would, but considering the fact that Sayomi slept through the night like an angel, it meant she woke up early like a little bird.

At five in the morning.

Takeshi did not trust himself to stay awake alone in the house with her, and also feared the anger of James being woken up at such hour. So he decided to go with Isao to the gym. Isao did not mind, knowing he will be left to himself anyway as Takeshi decided to teach Sayomi ballet on the other side of the room.

But his mates were clearly distracted with Takeshi’s dancing as he showed her the moves. Takeshi wasn’t even doing anything shocking, considering that she could not even walk, so it was mostly about making her laugh and encouraging to walk. But the tight clothing and a slim skirt around his hips was enough.

Isao did not need an explanation why others found Takeshi attractive. He was even used to Takeshi stealing the attention. But he had his jealous moments.

At least he could knock them all out using the situation.

“Who was pregnant?” Isao asked confused.

“Your fiancée, who else.” His friend laughed, thinking he is distracted himself.

“What?” He snorted. “She’s not our child. She’s Takeshi’s grandchild.”

Now he was laughing, because it was so typical of others to not believe that Takeshi could have a grandchild when he looked ready for his first child instead. His friend’s shocked face said enough.

“Grandchild?”

“His son is eighteen. Takeshi’s is only a little younger than me.” Isao explained. “Come on, who would she have pink hair after?”

“I thought he dyed hers.” He shrugged like he did not spend much time on thinking about it.

“No.” Isao smiled, chuckling when Sayomi reached to catch Takeshi’s foot as he stood on his toes. He was a little worried that Takeshi was putting so much pressure on his ankle, but apparently the tight band around it was meant to keep it strong enough.

Takeshi effortlessly stood back on his feet and helped Sayomi stand up, holding her little hands. She was walking quite confidently with help, proud of her fluffy, pink ballerina skirt shaking on her hips, but Takeshi seemed to have a plan to make her take at least one step on her own.

“You’re a lucky bastard.” Isao’s friend sighed.

“I know, mate.” Isao grinned when Takeshi and Sayomi walked up to them and he caught Sayomi in a hug, her giggle ringing in his ear.

Takeshi kneeled in front of him, ignoring Isao’s friend lingering look. “I think she will walk today.”

“Are you?” Isao let her sit in his lap and asked. She nodded, probably not understanding what he said. But as long as she seemed happy about it, he was too.

“Okay, you lazy shits.” The trainer clapped his hands together. “Get your asses up.”

“Come on, Sayomi.” Takeshi smiled and took her in his arms as Isao handed her to him and to Takeshi’s surprise he saw the trainer standing over them and holding his hand out to him. He took it gratefully, not missing Isao side eyeing his trainer. “Thank you.” Takeshi surely never minded a good-looking man being nice to him.

“Stop giving me that look, Shigino, any motivation to punch that bag harder is a good one.” He smirked noticing Isao’s look as well, and patted him on the shoulder after he let go of Takeshi.

“Very funny.” Isao grinned ironically and slipping his arm around Takeshi’s waist he bent to kiss him hard.

“Stop traumatising the poor child, and come on.” The trainer laughed and Isao pulled away to see Sayomi between them sticking her tongue out in absolute disgust. He poked her nose getting rid of the look and left Takeshi with her so they could also go back to their fun.

**

“Oh, my God. ISAO!”

Isao turned so quickly he felt his neck snapping and the forgotten bag hit him in the back of his head. He saw Takeshi jumping in excitement as Sayomi bravely took her first steps. Everybody stopped working too, all men hilariously excited as much, and they watched Isao quickly walking up to her to catch her before she could fall. He grinned as he lifted her in the air and she giggled in happiness. Takeshi quickly joined them and hugged both.

“Told you!” Takeshi grinned proud of her and himself as Isao praised her in his arms.

“I know, I know.” Isao smiled.

“Come on, fifteen more minutes.” The trainer shouted at his men and Takeshi stole Sayomi back in his arms and let them finish, Isao ensuring him he will be back soon.

“Who’s the best girl in the world?” Takeshi asked Sayomi after they walked to the other side of the hall and she pointed at his feet which he guessed meant she wanted to see him standing on his toes again. He did, and she smiled brightly catching his leg and trying the same with support. Takeshi chuckled and quickly put one of his feet down to keep himself stable, Sayomi putting all of her weight on his leg as she hugged it tightly.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when suddenly Isao wrapped his arms around him from the back. “Boo.”

“Goodness.” Takeshi put his hand on his heart.

“Tsk, you should be more careful.” Isao kissed his ear and put his hands on his hips.

“I thought I don’t need to when you’re near.” Takeshi cocked his eyebrow.

Isao made a face at him and then took Sayomi so Takeshi could quickly change and they could go home.

**

When Isao had to leave them because they needed him at the office, Takeshi decided to entertain Sayomi by inviting her to his closet. James, Kisumi, Ren, and Nalin were at home so they decided to go with them.

“Are you going to put her in your clothes or all those months you were collecting things for her?” James threw himself on the sofa and lied across it, but Nalin slapped his legs off so he could sit down too. Kisumi and Ren sat by their legs on the fluffy carpet.

Takeshi gave him a shy smile that said it all. James snorted but it quickly turned into a laugh when he opened one huge wardrobe full of small clothes and Sayomi squealed in delight.

“Wait, but does it mean you’re not going to try clothes on?” James asked disappointed.

“When was the last time you had a sexuality check?” Nalin asked, side-eyeing him.

“Yesterday night, do you want me to tell you about it?” James grinned.

“No.”

“Do you have an outfit ready for Underground, Kisumi?” Takeshi asked, ignoring these two.

Kisumi shrugged like he did not think about it, but when Ren made big eyes as if he was having war flashbacks, Takeshi guessed he has been thinking about it for a while. “Why won’t you try some of the things I have?” Takeshi smiled and gave Sayomi a feathery skirt she threw in their air happily.

“Can I?” Kisumi opened his mouth in shock and ran to the closest wardrobe, opening it like he was granted an entrance to paradise once Takeshi nodded. “Good Lord.” Kisumi gasped and touched the dresses with his hands, materials slipping through his fingers.

“I could leave for a month and he would not notice.” Ren smiled smugly, and Nalin looked at him slightly confused.

Takeshi put a headband with huge flowers on Sayomi’s head and took a picture of her happy face. He would not dare to add anything on social media before Sousuke would come back, but he would save it for later, and obviously, himself. It was actually sad that he needed to be careful with his own grandchild.

“Come here and zip me up!” Ren woke up when Kisumi kicked him lightly with a heel.

“Ow.” He stood up and zipped him up, jokingly telling him to breath in.

“I shouldn’t have eaten that cake.” Kisumi made a face, not really bothered. He knew that Takeshi’s clothes were tiny.

“The other wardrobe has normal sized clothes, this one is quite small.” Takeshi pointed to Kisumi’s left.

“You mean you’ve got even smaller-clothes-wardrobe?” Nalin sighed.

“If any of you have a problem, you can leave.” Takeshi snapped.

They lifted their hands up in defence and Kisumi shimmed out of the dress and quietly moved onto the next closet.

“What will you wear?” He asked Takeshi, putting on the only pink outfit he found. Kisumi could bet ten of his fingers that the amount of black add-ons Takeshi had to wear with it made the pink nearly invisible.

“I need to go to the designer later, they need to take measurements. I haven’t even seen the outfit yet.” Takeshi answered, chuckling when Sayomi found Isao’s hat and put on her head, her eyes disappearing under it. He noticed Kisumi’s dreamy face and smiled. “Want to go with me?” He helped her get it off her head.

Kisumi did not answer, he ran towards him and jumped on his neck, hugging him tight, making Takeshi laugh and embrace him back.

“Is that something special?” Ren whispered to Nalin.

“Special!?” Kisumi turned to face him, arms around Takeshi. “Going straight to the designer! You guess!”

“Okay.” Ren smiled, clearly not getting it.

“Is my dad so horrible as well?” Kisumi asked Takeshi saddened.

“He learned over the years, but he still does not care.” Takeshi chuckled. “Go on. You have more to try on.”

Kisumi quickly walked back to the wardrobe and Takeshi curiously watched which outfits he enjoyed the most. It would be useful considering the plan he had for later.

**

Isao sat in the big office used for meetings at the top of the business building in the centre of Tokyo. Others were already gone, the problem resolved.

He was tired, body aching from the boxing, but he smiled when he remembered how happy Takeshi and Sayomi were, dancing in their pretty clothes. He cocked an eyebrow when a man with two people looking like his bodyguards walked in.

“Mister Shigino, I hope you can spare us a few minutes.” The man smiled and Isao straightened up realising who just paid him a visit.

**

Sayomi laughed when James shook his head to make his curly hair tickle her face as he held her on his lap. They were sat in the huge office belonging to the designer that Takeshi chose to make the outfit for him, and the man was currently measuring him after he put Takeshi on a small pedestal in the middle of the room.

“Why do you need to measure me again, I haven’t changed.” Okay Takeshi did lose a little, but considering he was thin already it did not make much of a difference on his size.

“I saw your pictures online, you did look like you lost a lot.” He faced him, quite young in looks, a shaved head, charming smile and simple comfortable clothes on. “And I was right.”

Takeshi rolled his eyes, so he laughed. “You can sit down, I will be busy for a bit.”

Takeshi nodded and walked over to James and Nalin sitting on a white leather sofa. The room wasn’t huge but it seemed so open and bright with the white walls and mirrors everywhere. “Where are the boys and Sayomi?” He could swear they were here only a few seconds ago.

“They got hungry looking at you.” James grinned but stopped seeing Takeshi’s face. “Sorry.”

“Really?” Nalin snapped at him when Takeshi sat by him, not looking at James.

“I am sorry, I did not think.” James pushed his way between the sofa and Nalin’s back and caught Takeshi in a hug. “Sorry, baby.” Takeshi mumbled something so he let him catch some air. “What?”

“You’re a dick.”

“I love you, too.” James kissed his temple.

Nalin sat at the edge not wanting to see what was happening behind him.

**

“Green, though?” Takeshi cocked his head, watching himself in the mirror.

The designer put a dress made of sequins on him. It was simple really, reaching the middle of his thighs and had long sleeves, on his chest cut in V shape and uncovered back to show his tattoos. It would shine beautifully on the Underground opening.

“You would disappear in black.” The designer stood behind him, making sure the dress is tight on Takeshi so no material stands out considering the difficult cut. “It is not too dark, not too light, it will shine like glitter on the night and reflect thanks of all the lighting.”

“I prefer black usually.” Takeshi smiled. “But I like it.”

“I’ve got black outfits for you, too, but you are going in this dress for the opening.” He slapped him with his measuring tape, making Takeshi chuckle. “Now the shoes…”

“High thigh?”

“I was thinking about it, and I recommend it for when you’d like to wear this dress to another party later, but for that night, you better show your legs.”

“Aren’t I showing too much already?” Takeshi asked.

“I did cover your arms!”

Takeshi laughed. And not much else, he thought.

“I know which shoes will look good with it…” The man smiled. “I will send them to you once I’m done.”

Uh oh. Takeshi knew what it meant.

**

“So.” The designer turned around when Takeshi came back from the changing room and they both looked at Kisumi sitting on the sofa.

He eyed them confused.

“There’s a tight dress in the changing room, put it on, so the man can measure you.” Takeshi rolled up the sleeves of the soft shirt encasing his slim body.

“W-what?” Kisumi opened his mouth in shock.

“Hurry up, we don’t have much time anymore.” Takeshi grinned.

Kisumi did, but ensured to jump on his neck before going to the changing room.

**

“I can’t believe I will have a dress especially designed for me.” Kisumi did not stop fantasising since they left the office and went to the café in town for lunch.

Takeshi smiled, happy that he made him so cheerful. Kisumi was such an angelic kid who did not cause them any problems that he really deserved more attention and praising. Isao treated Kisumi better since they talked about his true dream, but he wasn’t the most open person in the world. It was just how he was.

Takeshi had a better understanding of Kisumi’s personality and needs, and he was happy to help.

“Did you thank Takeshi?” Kisumi heard behind his back and snapped out of his dreamy state.

“Hey, dad!” He turned and grinned at Isao who winked to him and moved over to Takeshi to kiss him on the lips and sit by him, making sure to play with Sayomi’s hair tied at the top of her head beforehand.

“Are you okay?” Takeshi asked, hands busy feeding Sayomi.

“Of course.” Isao smiled, arm dropped over the back of Takeshi’s chair.

“Order yourself something.” Nalin handed him his menu, their food already on its way to them.

Isao took it from him, quickly choosing something to snack on and calling the waiter over.

“Isa!” Sayomi bent forward to wave to him, Takeshi quickly moving out of her way with a chuckle.

Isao smiled. “Sounds like you had a good day.” He loved to see how happy Takeshi’s eyes were.

“We have a dress for Kisumi and I might have gotten a thing or two for Sayomi.” Takeshi discreetly pushed ten bags away from Isao’s view.

“You’re insane.” Isao noticed anyway but expected nothing less. “What about your dress, though?” Before Takeshi could reply, they heard Kisumi’s dreamy sigh. “Sounds good.” Isao grinned.

“Looks okay.” Takeshi shrugged.

“Okay.” Kisumi laughed. “You gonna love it, dad.” Kisumi saw Takeshi’s outfits quite a few times, but seeing him on the pedestal being measured and the man so fascinated trying materials on him and fawning over his looks, Takeshi like a doll, or maybe even a puppet with how he moved just like the man wanted without exchanging any words, was something else.

“Will I?” He cocked an eyebrow.

“It is quite revealing.” Takeshi admitted.

“Is it a dress then?”

“Yes.” Takeshi gave Kisumi a look seeing him eager to tell. It was meant to be a surprise and Kisumi shut his mouth dramatically, making Ren smile.

Isao whistled quietly. He could not wait.

They ate in silence and when the boys got busy putting coats back on themselves, Takeshi touched Isao’s cheek softly. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly.

“Of course.” Isao took his hand and kissed it.

**

“How did you get rid of dad?” Kisumi joked.

It was a late evening when Kisumi arrived at Takeshi’s mansion. A few hours earlier Takeshi took him on the side and asked if he would like to help him with preparing a small party for Isao’s birthday. The man was not a fan of huge and loud celebrations, so Takeshi decided to gather everybody at home for a midnight surprise.

“I was thinking about creating a problem at his company, but he did the job for me when he told me he will need to see some guys in the evening.” Takeshi added more chocolate to the bowl of cream that Kisumi was mixing.

“I love how casually you talk about being able to ruin his company.” Kisumi laughed.

“Just don’t tell him that. Male ego and all.” Takeshi winked and moved to get candles.

He made Kisumi responsible for mixing everything for the cake, and went to put balloons and banners up as well as candles here and there. When Kisumi finished they started putting the birthday cake together, cream mixed with alcohol, lots of fruits inside and covering it, all divided with soft sponge to which Takeshi added lemon juice.

“Looks good.” Takeshi smiled once they finished.

“Mhmm.” Kisumi smiled with the big spoon in his mouth.

“Tasty?” Takeshi chuckled.

“Delicious.” Kisumi licked the cream off. “Why won’t you try it?” He asked. “Are you planning to make me fat so you won’t have competition?” He cocked his eyebrow.

Takeshi froze a little with the first question, but laughed at the end. “You need to get a little bit more practice before you can even think about beating me, you little shit.” He poked him in the side and put lemon cakes on a plate. He stopped when Kisumi hugged him from behind.

“Thank you.” Kisumi pressed his cheek to his back. “For everything. Telling dad and making him talk, and letting me try clothes, and the designer creating my own dress…” he sighed. “You are the best.”

Takeshi turned around and wrapped his arms around him, kissing the top of his head. “You’re very welcome. You deserve it, kiddo.”

“I haven’t done anything.” Kisumi looked up in his eyes.

“You’re a good kid, it isn’t about doing anything specific.” Takeshi shrugged. “But.” He grinned and Kisumi sensed trouble. “So what’s going on between you and Ren, huh?”

“Oh, no!” Kisumi’s cheeks turned red and he tried to escape but Takeshi held him. “No, no!”

“You two are so blunt, I actually find it hilarious how blind both Nalin and Isao are.”

“They have not noticed anything?” Kisumi stopped struggling and Takeshi let him go.

“My guess is that Nalin knows something is going on, Isao knows nothing, both did not calculate that you two are way too friendly for people who only have just met.” Takeshi snorted. It was hilarious, the boys completely did not control themselves, but he did not blame them considering nobody noticed a thing anyway. “Nalin and Isao are on quite good terms lately, you know.”

Kisumi sat on the bar chair. “Well it is great that they do not hate each other as much anymore, but I doubt they would be happy that their sons are together.” He cringed. “Especially if they would find out that we were together when things weren’t this good…” He bit his lip and unsurely looked at Takeshi. “How come aren’t you furious, though?”

“I was working for Nalin’s father who wasn’t on the best conditions with mine.” Takeshi smiled, leaning against the bar with his arms across his chest.

“Yeah, they did not try to murder each other though.” Kisumi said, even though he was unsure whether Takeshi guessed when Ren and him got together. Honestly, he would be surprised if he did not, but he wanted to make it clear nevertheless. Takeshi deserved the truth. “It was a bit messy.” He took a deep breath in. “Remember when we came back from the yacht trip?”

“I do.” It felt as it happened years ago.

“I know you all thought I started dating some jerk, but the truth is, I started seeing Ren but I had no idea that he was Nalin’s son. When we started looking through the old pictures on the yacht it was obvious that Ren is an exact copy of young Nalin, so I searched some more and it became clear who I was seeing for some time.” He cringed. Kisumi felt like the biggest fool that day. “I texted him to go to hell, he started texting me back and calling like mad trying to explain. As I assumed it turned out that he was sent by Nalin to get information out of me. But he said that he really fell for me and he did not tell Nalin anything that could hurt you or dad. It took a while before we started normally talking again, but I decided to trust him.” He looked down, fearing Takeshi’s reaction. “I did not tell him anything about the two of you after, and before I obviously had no idea that he knows exactly who I am talking about when I mentioned you.” Kisumi bent his fingers. “I should have been more careful, but I…”

“Fell in love.” Takeshi smiled, grasping his hands. “It is okay, no harm was done.”

“But there could…”

“Kid, I went to my enemy, Ren’s father, to help me with pain. Sometimes we make decisions that seem insane, but there are reasons we make them. I would not be here if not Nalin. You made the right choice trusting Ren.”

“I thought you will hate us after what happened.” Kisumi never talked with Takeshi about it, ashamed of what he and his father did, not even mentioning his grandfather. They caused Takeshi so much harm yet he was here and still loved his father and him, doing everything for them.

“Why would I?” Takeshi asked surprised.

“I left you with granddad.” Kisumi looked up and he felt himself tearing up. The image of Takeshi in the bath full of his blood, body and face cut everywhere so deeply, was so clear in his head. Kisumi believed that if he stayed that morning, nothing would happen.

“Kisumi, I told you to leave.” He stroked his hands. “Nothing that happened between Satoru and me, or your dad and me, had anything to do with you. It did not even cross my mind to blame you.” He was shocked. Takeshi was ensured that Kisumi did not visit because his father left and he did not want to cause a fight.

“Did you know?” Kisumi asked quietly. “That he will do it.”

Takeshi sighed, his heart becoming heavy. He could just tell him to move on, but if it bothered him so much… “I knew he did not come to chat. It would happen sooner or later, and even if Satoru would leave that day because of you, he would come back later.”

“I know granddad hurt you before, but I would never imagine he could do what he did.” Kisumi could not even name it. It was horrifying.

Takeshi touched his cheeks softly. “Instead of torturing yourself with those memories, think about the night your granddad saved my life.” He smiled.

“I don’t know what to think about it,” Kisumi murmured, watching Takeshi’s face, free of the terrifying bruises he could remember, apart from the barely visible one on his cheek.

“Me neither,” Takeshi shrugged. “We will have to see, right?”

Kisumi bent forward in his sit to wrap his arms around Takeshi’s middle again, Takeshi moving closer and stroking his hair, kissing the top of his head. Kisumi always loved a cuddle, and it was heart-warming for Takeshi, seeing him becoming so comfortable with him compared to the Kisumi from a few months ago, stuttering and running away terrified at the sight of him. Takeshi treated him like his son and, well, at least this one seemed to like him.

“I don’t want you to blame yourself anymore, okay?” Takeshi asked.

Kisumi nodded. He could not turn back time, but what he could do was being as fantastic to Takeshi as Takeshi was to him.

“The past few months were the best and worst in my life at the same time.” Takeshi said quietly. “You are one of the reasons they were the best. Don’t forget about it. Ever.”

**

“Time to change.” They finished preparing food and placing decorations in the living room when Takeshi pushed Kisumi towards his closet. They spent a lot of time talking about clothes and Ren, Takeshi even telling Kisumi a little about Isao, and at the end Takeshi decided to let Kisumi dress in one of his outfits.

“Can I really choose whatever I want?” Kisumi jumped excited, hands back to touching the beautiful materials hanging in wardrobes.

“Yes.” Takeshi sat in the middle of the closet on the cabinet with shelves with a glass top to keep the jewellery visible.

Kisumi’s eyes shone, as he looked through everything, unsure what to choose. Takeshi had so many clothes, so many beautiful, gorgeous outfits. Some were so extravagant he would not even dare to try them, knowing only Takeshi could pull them off. Besides, especially those were sewed especially for him.

“I don’t know.” Kisumi whined. “Should I go bright or dark, or maybe glittery, or…”

“Well.” Takeshi smiled seeing him struggling and jumped off the cabinet to walk up to him. “It is a small midnight party, family and close friends only, at home.” He reached inside the wardrobe. “So we are not going to do ‘too much’ of anything,” he explained, “however, the idea is to steal attention at any party, right?” A cheeky smile showed on his face and Kisumi grinned. “But to do it you do not need to put the shiniest dress on, because sometimes less is more.” Kisumi nodded in understanding and Takeshi pulled a small black dress out with a slight cut on the right side to show the leg more. “Try it.”

Kisumi jumped in excitement and rushed to the changing room on the side. Takeshi sat on the sofa, pressing his fingers to his eyes. His head ached, the pain not terrible so he could pretend everything was fine, but he was starting to feel unwell. He hoped it was just a nasty headache.

“Are you okay?” He felt Kisumi’s hand on his knee and quickly lifted his head.

“Yes.” Takeshi smiled, hoping Kisumi won’t think much of it. “Come on, show me yourself.” He clapped his hands in excitement and Kisumi moved back and twirled. He looked gorgeous in the simple dress, the pink hair he grew a little making a lovely contrast. “Beautiful.”

“A bit different to what I normally wear.”

“I wore glitter on stage, too. Took me some time to find my everyday style.” Takeshi shrugged, not wanting him to worry. Kisumi was still young, and he wanted him to express himself since it was clearly helping especially when he was still hiding. Who else if not Takeshi should understand him. However, he assumed that with things becoming good between Kisumi and Isao plus the happy love, it was time to help Kisumi move on and teach him about fashion so he could really make a few jaws drop.

“Thank you.” Kisumi grinned, watching himself in the mirror. “I can get used to this.”

Takeshi chuckled. “It’s yours.”

He quickly turned to face him again. “What?!”

“The dress. It is yours.”

“Are you serious?” Kisumi jumped up and down and ended up throwing himself on his neck again, Takeshi thinking how he can get used to it, too. “But that’s another thing today, you need to tell me what you want back!” He reminded Takeshi of Sayomi whenever he gave her ice cream she was not really meant to eat.

“I don’t want anything back.” Takeshi patted his cheek. “Let’s do something with your hair and make up.”

**

“You always paint your eyes dark,” Kisumi said with his eyes closed, sat in front of Takeshi who slowly put make up on his face.

"I’ve always had my eyes done before anything else,” Takeshi explained. “Everybody has their best feature so make it your priority. And never highlight everything on your face, unless it is a night party, then everything is allowed.”

“Yeah, if eyes then not lips, I know that.” Kisumi nodded.

“It all depends on the outfit, and just because you did your eyes does not mean you can’t do your lips at all, but don’t put a cake of make up on your face, it never looks good.”

“Noted.”

Takeshi chuckled.

“So your eyes are your best feature.” Kisumi smiled smugly.

“Apparently.”

“I agree.” Kisumi pouted when he felt the brush on his lips. “I am jealous of your face.”

“You’ve got a pretty, fresh face, Kisumi.” The corners of his lips lifted. “You don’t need much make up or colourful clothes because your hair and eyes do the job for you. Remember the rule of less is more. No more Barbie girl off stage.”

A laugh. “But I am pale so with pink hair I just look bland.” He mumbled.

“Then you underline your features a little and wear one or two colours. Light or dark will make the pink the eye-catcher. Too many colours will not put attention on anything. Stay natural.” He moved and brushed Kisumi’s hair to tie them up in a high ponytail. “Have a look.”

Kisumi walked to the mirror and with happiness realised that Takeshi styled him a little like himself, so it meant he listened to Kisumi’s quiet hints that he wants to look like him. The small black dress, dark eyes, highlighted cheekbones, and the ponytail gave him the doll look he always envied in Takeshi.

Kisumi giggled when Takeshi stood behind him and dropped his arms over his shoulders. “Look who is growing up? Just don’t give your dad a heart attack for his birthday.”

“Oh, God.” Kisumi’s mouth formed in a little circle. “Although, maybe he will accept this version at least.”

“He accepts you no matter what, but I am sure it will help.” Takeshi winked.

Kisumi wanted to ask him what he is planning to wear when they saw Sayomi standing up in her cot and waving to them. Takeshi walked up to her and lifted, kissing her cheek.

“Sayomi!” Kisumi twirled in front of her, making her giggle with her fist in her mouth, which he took as approval. “I will hold her, you go change.”

“You’re going to stay with your godfather?” Takeshi asked her and she nodded, touching his cheek with her wet hand.

Takeshi cringed and handed her to Kisumi.

“Don’t touch the face.” Kisumi warned her seeing her wanting to do the same to him.

She stopped half way through.

**

“Look, this is your granddad and he has better legs than any twenty year old.” Kisumi said to Sayomi as Takeshi pulled up the leather shorts up on his bottom and black satin shirt over his top.

Takeshi laughed. “Don’t exaggerate.”

“I wonder when she will start asking you for tips.” Kisumi grinned.

Takeshi smiled a little weakly and walked over to the jewellery to pick a necklace for himself and Kisumi who furrowed his eyebrows. He knew something was wrong but what could it be?

“I like your legs, too.”

Takeshi laughed. “Can’t give you those.”

A sigh escaped his mouth. “Too bad.”

“Okay, so my plan worked out and she woke up for midnight.” Takeshi grinned and sat her on the cabinet. “So we can dress you up, tire you out, and once you fall asleep after the party you will sleep till late.”

Sayomi grabbed his necklace and pulled forward.

“You will dress her and I will put make up on, okay?” Takeshi asked Kisumi and handed him the outfit for her once he escaped from her grasp.

**

“I hope we are not late.” Kin grinned waving a bottle of champagne in front of Takeshi’s face when he opened the door. Rest of the group was behind him and James with Nalin already inside.

“Right on time.” Takeshi made sure to hug every one of them, cheering up hearing compliments from them. Today ensured to make him quite self-conscious, so first the lovely evening he spent with Kisumi and now them helped.

Takeshi kept the door open seeing another car stopping on the driveway and spread his arms when a young man with flowers in one hand and champagne in another quickly came forward and grabbed him in a tight hug.

“Hello, gorgeous.” He kissed Takeshi’s cheek.

“Hey, pretty boy.” Takeshi hung himself on his neck, breathing in his smell.

Naoko was a boss of one of the gangs under Takeshi’s leadership. He was mostly known for street racing and he was Takeshi’s and James’ friend before Naoko and Takeshi became leaders. Through Takeshi, he met Isao, and they became good friends as well. Takeshi loved how easy it was to work with the man, he reminded him a lot of James, just slightly more responsible. And a blonde.

“Look at those legs.” Naoko gasped dramatically and slapped Takeshi’s cheek lightly when he rolled his eyes. “Where’s the birthday boy?”

“He should be here soon.” Takeshi pushed him inside and closed the door.

It wasn’t long before they heard the car arriving but they luckily turned the lights off beforehand. Gathering together they tried not to laugh and bust themselves. Takeshi covered Sayomi’s ears knowing what was coming.

The door opened and…

“Surprise!!!”

The lights were turned on, the boys popped the champagnes open, the balloons were thrown up, the confetti exploded. Isao opened his mouth in shock but when the realisation hit him, he laughed, cheeks reddening from embarrassment.

“Happy Birthday!” Takeshi who stood in the front, with Sayomi in his arms, quickly walked up to Isao, hugged him tight and kissed on the lips.

“You crazy people.” The smile did not leave his face since he walked in, boys came forward to give him a hug, even Nalin and James shook hands with him and quickly embraced. Isao shook his head in shock, not knowing what to say as his heart warmed up and he looked at Takeshi’s beautiful face, so soft with his eyes only on him.

Sayomi giggled and escaped Takeshi who put her on the ground and she jumped up and down, not caring about the lack of music. But they quickly took care of it, and the party fully began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for the kudos, guys! And special thank you to those who discuss the chapters with me privately.  
> But I will be honest, considering the lack of comments under the chapters I am starting to think about stopping posting here. I might start sending chapters to the people who I am in contact with. I know not everybody is comfortable posting long comments, but just a few words, at least letting me know that you guys are still reading would really be good enough.
> 
> Thanks! xx


	68. Happy Birthday, Isao

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isao's birthday celebrations begin and Yamazaki family splits apart

“You’re going to help me blow the candles?” Isao took Sayomi in his arms and stood by the bar where the beautiful cake was placed. Rest of the boys gathered around it.

She nodded quickly.

“Think of a wish first.” Takeshi lightened the candles up.

Isao was quiet for a few seconds and then smiled. “Ready?” He looked at her.

They blew the candles together, the family cheered and wished him a Happy Birthday again. Takeshi quickly cut the cake, hoping it won’t break down considering how much cream and fruits he put on and in it. “Don’t judge.”

“Let me hold the plates, it should be easier that way.” Nalin helped him by putting them close so they could smoothly put a piece on each.

“I sense Takeshi’s touch here.” With Sayomi still on his hip, Isao used the moment to catch Kisumi’s attention, whose cheeks reddened as quickly as his when he walked in and saw the surprise.

“We prepared the party and then Takeshi gave me this dress and did my make up.” Kisumi clapped his hands together, eyes bright from happiness. “I wanted to look like him,” he joked.

“You do.” Isao winked. He really was starting to see why everybody was saying that his and Takeshi’s sons were switched in the hospital.

“He very subtly suggested I have no style, so he gave me a few hints.” Kisumi crossed his arms over his chest in pretended hurt.

Isao tried to seem like he that he had no idea what he was talking about, but he stopped and chuckled seeing Kisumi’s furrowed eyebrows in anger. “I survived my fiancé’s many outfits, you were not much of a shock.” He stopped grinning when he received a slap across his head from Takeshi. Isao caught his hand before he took it away and pulled him closer without even looking. “Sorry.” He kissed Takeshi’s pouty lips and left his arm around him, stroking the thin shoulder with his thumb.

“Don’t annoy him, he’s a little diamond.” Naoko showed up by Takeshi and looked down at his legs. “You know I saw your legs and did not know what to wish to Isao anymore.” He grinned. “Obviously he has everything.”

They snorted.

“I was always such a fan of your cheesy flirt.” Takeshi patted Naoko’s cheek with affection.

“My wife loves it.” He shrugged as Kisumi took Sayomi out of Isao’s arms and went to Ren, stealing a few pieces of the cake first.

Isao put his arm around Takeshi’s waist instead and Naoko threw his over Takeshi’s shoulders sensing a chance.

“How’s her and kids?”

“Fantastic, thank you.” Naoko smiled brightly. “We are slowly realising that they are not kids anymore considering they are at university and all.”

“Growing too fast, aren’t they?” Takeshi asked with a small smile. He probably should not talk considering he spent most of Sousuke’s and Yori’s childhoods away from them, but maybe that only made the ending worse. Nothing else but his own upcoming death made him realise how much he lost.

“We’ve been enjoying the freedom so much lately that we might end up creating a small human again, to be fair, so I will wait with the crying.” He joked making Takeshi and Isao laugh, Takeshi feeling Isao’s hand tightening on his hip.

None of them were even forty yet. Most people their age were thinking about future, hoping for more children, opening new businesses. They were not thinking about their rotting bodies, how little time they had left, what could they still manage to do, and feeling sick from worry about their family.

Takeshi thought of Isao who was holding him now, the lovely atmosphere, and the fact that he prepared a birthday party for Isao for the last time. What if it was Isao’s last birthday, too?

He thought of Kisumi who was dancing in his closet being allowed to touch his clothes, not knowing that Takeshi was giving him tips because he thought soon it will be too late and he wanted his small legacy to be passed on, and he was checking if Kisumi would like all of those outfits once he would be gone. There was no better person to give them to.

He thought of James and Nalin sitting together, Naoko joining them so Nalin and him could get to know each other better. His gang moving towards them to laugh together. It was good that they had each other and they were closer than ever. They will carry on and keep the mafia strong.

He thought of Kisumi and Ren playing with Sayomi who would simply forget him. She was so little. They did not even know that soon he would be gone.

He thought of his son who hated him guts and how he created a better bond with Kisumi than ever with him. And he realised he probably did not have enough time to gain his love again. Sousuke’s tragedy was not going to be soon losing his father, but his boyfriend, and Takeshi knew it. But Sousuke was young, and he would get better, hopefully finding someone really worth of his love. And Sayomi’s.

He did not even dream about ever finding contact with Yori again.

Dread ran through his body and he realised that as much as he wanted to make it all about them, he thought of himself too.

He did not want to die. He wanted to feel Isao’s arms around him for longer. He wanted to give him children and have a wedding. He wanted to see his friends and family laughing. He wanted to see them all growing old and happy. He wanted to travel. He wanted another Birthday party, and Christmas, and New Year.

He still wanted so much more from life.

He wanted to live.

But he had so little time left.

**

Laughs were louder than music that night.

Takeshi kneeled on the soft carpet holding Sayomi’s hands as she jumped up and down to the music and ran around him happily. She was falling with every twirl but it did not bother her, every time she got up and carried on.

Today he wanted Isao to be free, for once being able to relax and drink.

The main reason Takeshi made this party so private was because Isao was this kind of a person. Huge parties were tiresome, he preferred to see his close friends and family at home where they could drink and chat together. It would not be a problem for Isao to meet in a restaurant or even a club, just not make the party open for everybody, but the issue was that when Takeshi was with him in public, Isao was a bodyguard. And a bodyguard could not drink and had to prioritise boss’ safety instead of his fun. Especially since the boss liked to let it go and drink a lot, so Isao had to also save him from doing anything stupid. A huge party also meant that Takeshi was everywhere but by his side, making sure everybody was happy.

At home Isao could do whatever he wanted and not worry. Usually they would both drink, but Takeshi had Sayomi to take care of.

Takeshi was happy seeing Isao comfortable on the sofa, joking and laughing, telling stories, with enough of alcohol even James and Nalin not seemed to be outsiders anymore. They were nearing the singing stage and he saw Kisumi and Ren watching them from the side trying not to laugh and failing.

Takeshi kissed Sayomi’s temple when she hugged him around the neck and did not let go. It was time to sleep. He picked her up and told Isao he is going upstairs.

“Do you need any help?” Isao caught his hand with a smile.

“Nope.” Takeshi winked and chuckled when Sayomi waved to them without lifting her head from his shoulder.

“Goodnight, darling.” They waved back to her.

“You’re coming back, right?” Isao asked quickly.

“Sure.”

**

“Ta-shi, Ta-shi, Ta-shi…” After he put Sayomi on his and Isao’s bed, she yawned and Takeshi thought she was going to fall asleep in minutes, but she suddenly got her strength back. At first she was running away but after he pulled her back under the covers for the twentieth time, she finally stayed on her back and focused on playing with his hair when he lied by her on his side.

Takeshi wasn’t sure if he would ever comb through them again.

“Time to sleep, kiddo.” He stroked her cheek and she moved on her tummy and smiled at him, little fingers patting his lips waiting for him to kiss each and every one of them. She tugged at his shirt and he cuddled her up to him, her eyes finally closing after he kissed her nose, too.

**

“I am betting that he fell asleep.” Nobu said when he saw Isao looking towards the stairs again.

“I would not be surprised, he was exhausted.” Isao rubbed his eyes. “She woke us up at five in the morning.”

“I love kids, but I surely do not miss falling asleep in the middle of the kitchen waiting for the water to boil for yet another bottle.” Naoko snorted.

“It’s worth it.” Nobu straightened his legs out comfortably.

“Well I did not expect you to say anything else, mister I make a kid per year.” Naoko smirked.

They laughed when Nobu shrugged, clearly happy about it.

“Since we’re touching the subject.” Naoko side-eyed Isao. “Takeshi looks very natural with the little girl.”

Isao smiled. He knew. And he wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but ‘natural’ was a good description. Those two days with Sayomi brought back the innocent Takeshi he knew from years ago. Even though during those days he was already facing demons, he was still a child dreaming big. These days there was so much heavy weight on his shoulders that he was just simply tired and with every day Isao felt his fear deepening seeing the light in Takeshi’s eyes dimming and hope becoming smaller. He wasn’t even sure if there was any hope in Takeshi anymore. Others were seeing him blooming, holding the child and taking care of her like she was his, Takeshi young, protective and cheeky. He would be such a great parent again. Isao loved to see him like this, it made his heart warm. He wanted Takeshi to get pregnant so they could have their child and the cheerfulness to never end. But behind it all was the terrible truth of Takeshi seeing the girl and thinking this was the most he could get from his dream before he would die.

“Not exactly the best time to bring a child in the world, is it?” Isao asked quietly. Naoko was a good friend of theirs but it was up to Takeshi to decide whether he wanted him to know anything.

Naoko sighed. “True. But is there ever a good time for us?”

“No, but there are better times.” Nobu admitted.

“I will check on them.” Isao lightly slapped Kisumi’s legs off his lap and quietly went upstairs.

Kisumi watched after him curiously. It would be fun to have a little brother or sister… He never spared a moment to think that Takeshi and Isao could think about having a child, but it was such a natural order of things that he should not be surprised. The desire was obvious in both Isao’s and Takeshi’s eyes but something was clearly stopping them and Kisumi worried it was more personal than a war.

**

“Oh, you two.” Isao smiled seeing both Takeshi and Sayomi in the middle of the bed, snoozing silently. She had her little hand on his cheek and Takeshi slept peacefully.

Isao sat by him praying to not wake him up and bent to kiss his temple. Takeshi twitched and blinked his eyes open, Isao swearing at himself. It would not kill him to control himself for once.

“What’s the time?” Takeshi asked tiredly, lifting himself up a little.

“It is late, go back to sleep.” Isao said quietly as he stroked his hip.

“Everybody else went to sleep?” he mumbled.

“No, but we will soon.”

“What time is it?”

“About three.” Isao quickly checked his watch.

Takeshi sat up slowly, yawning. “I will be down in a second, sorry.”

“Darling, you had a busy day...” Isao watched him trying to put his hair back in order, which he guessed Sayomi decided to style before she fell asleep.

“I am not missing your birthday.” Takeshi woke up a little more and grinned after kissing him loudly on the lips. “Go back downstairs, I will join you in a second.”

Isao shook his head. “If you say so.” He kissed his cheek and after slapping him very lightly on the thigh he rushed downstairs.

**

“Hello, sleeping beauty.” Naoko grinned when Takeshi smiled cheekily, sat by Isao and put his legs over his lap.

“Morning.” Takeshi combed his hand through his hair and gave up when it fell in soft curls over his forehead anyway. “What did I miss?”

“A bottle of vodka.”

“That’s horrible.” Takeshi tried to stop tears making them laugh. “You are coming to Underground, right?” He asked Naoko who seemed insulted he could think otherwise.

“Duh! Like I’d miss your party!”

“It is going to be delicious.”

“Nalin is having war flashbacks.” Isao noticed, laughing under his nose seeing his face.

“You do not forget Takeshi’s parties.” Nalin shook his head. “Especially those in underground.”

“Remember your bachelor’s party? Because I do. Clearly.” Naoko looked at Isao whose dreamy face answered the question.

“Oh, please.” Takeshi knew what they were talking about.

“Takeshi danced for Isao that night.” James explained to confused Nalin. “Striptease and all.”

“It wasn’t a striptease.” Takeshi disagreed. “I did not take my clothes off.”

“Whatever, we know you did later! And you did not have much on in the first place.” James laughed and looked back at Nalin. “It sort of started as a joke,” he continued, “we teased him to cheer Isao up so Takeshi grabbed a chair, sat Isao on it in the middle of the club, and started dancing.”

“And he actually did a good job so it stopped being funny?” Nalin could guess.

“Even my dick grew hard and I’m not even gay,” Naoko admitted very sincerely.

“Naoko!” Takeshi choked on his drink and threw a pillow at his face, others bursting out laughing.

“I’m not even sorry.” Naoko patted Isao on the shoulder. Isao did not seem to care, knowing he could not blame him remembering his own state.

“I don’t remember the last time I saw him in a skimpy dress.” Isao said sadly to Naoko.

“When I was saving you from your marriage.” Takeshi reminded him, crossing his arms over his chest. The coincidence was ironic.

“No dance, though.” Isao ignored him, continuing. “No teasing, no grinding, he did not even shake his hips.” He was devastated.

Naoko tried to stay serious. “That’s terrible, Takeshi.”

“Go to hell!”

“I fucking knew it was you that night, though,” he added, chuckling. When he saw the pictures it wasn’t simply Isao’s loyalty that made him look twice, it was knowledge of Takeshi’s ways of becoming unrecognizable in public, so they could be free for a night once in a while.

“I actually thought that I will come back tonight to Takeshi waiting for me in lingerie or something, but I unfortunately saw all of you.” Isao sighed.

“DICKHEAD!”

Takeshi covered himself from the upcoming pillows sensing that their aim might be off. Isao laughed when they swore at him.

“You would not get any anyway, you’ve got a child in your room.” Kin made a little tut-tut noise.

“I’d find a way.” Isao furrowed his eyebrows.

“Can we change the subject?” Was Takeshi really the only one seeing Kisumi and Ren in the corner with their ears growing with every word said about them? He understood they were adults now and knew what sex was, but they surely did not need details of Isao’s and his intimate life.

“Now you know how it feels being the only one sober.” Isao grinned, hands stroking Takeshi’s smooth legs.

“Your son is here!” Takeshi slapped his arm. True, it was painful and now he felt sorry for Isao who always had to stay sober.

A little surprised Isao found Kisumi and Ren in the corner looking at them innocently. “Shouldn’t you two be in beds?”

“Beds.” Naoko snorted.

Takeshi wasn’t sure whether Kisumi or Ren paled more but they both looked up to him to save them immediately and he clapped his hands together. “So!” Isao and Nalin were already eyeing them so he had to work fast. “We are not doing a specific theme for Underground, but…”

“Wait, wait, wait…” Isao lifted his hand up.

“But!” Takeshi ignored him. “We are just going to do a really cool, glamour…”

“You are aware that you currently trying to change the topic only ensures us that there’s something we should know about, yet you know about instead.” Nalin pointed his finger at Takeshi and he stopped trying.

Kisumi looked at Ren desperately, but after the first scare the boy seemed to gather himself together. He shrugged. “We are together. Deal with it.”

“Ren!” Kisumi slapped him on the arm but Ren did not budge.

“Honestly, the bigger shock is that you guys did not notice anything, not my fault that you are blind.”

Takeshi had to bite his lip to not laugh. Ren reminded him so much of Nalin when he was patronising Isao.

“REN!” Kisumi snapped.

“Okay, I am done.” He shrugged again. He wasn’t going to apologise for falling in love, what else he was meant to say?

“Well, he has a point.” Takeshi sat on his knees and reached over Isao to pat Naoko on the back as he sat terrified after busting the kids.

“What do you mean you two are together?” Isao asked with slight anger colouring his voice. What the hell, he would have noticed his son dating Nalin’s son, right? He was a bodyguard for fuck’s sake. Besides, Nalin’s son?! No way!

“Isao, please.” Takeshi rolled his eyes and poked his cheek trying to make him relax. Isao was even more explosive when drunk. He poked him again and again until he finally looked at him taking his eyes off them, and Takeshi gave him a wet kiss on the lips. “They’re happy together so it is all that matters, right?” He put pressure on the last word.

He side-eyed him but did not say anything anymore.

“You could have just told us.” Nalin bent a little forward to throw a pillow at the boys.

“Yeah because obviously you would take it well.” Ren said sarcastically.

“Attitude, young man.” Nalin shook his head. “If you are happy then I am happy,” he added.

Takeshi smiled. There was no surprise that Nalin took it well, Takeshi saw him starring at them before so he had to guess something. Isao on the other hand became quiet like his whole day was ruined and with a loud sigh Takeshi finally sat across his lap facing him and threw his arms around his neck.

Kisumi and Ren better appreciate it.

“Don’t make me do a striptease in front of your children.” Takeshi grinned and put his hands on Isao’s cheeks to bend and kiss him deeply, stealing his attention.

“Oh no, please do.” Naoko smiled dreamily and Takeshi pulled away from Isao’s lips to slap him upside the head.

“You’ve done enough damage for today, you little bitch.”

“I love you, too.” Naoko lifted his hand to fist bump Takeshi, but he tried to slap him again so he grabbed his hand and pulled. Takeshi would fall but Isao woke up from his grumpiness and caught his hips keeping him in his lap.

“You knew and you have not told me,” Isao mumbled.

“It wasn’t my secret to tell.”

“Yeah!” Kisumi waved his hand.

“You, be quiet.” Isao threw a pillow in his face without taking his eyes off Takeshi still in his lap.

“Probably not the only thing the pretty fiancé did not tell you...” Naoko stated the obvious.

Takeshi laughed, putting his hand over his own face. Inviting Naoko to a party meant every little secret uncovered. He was absolutely terrible.

“You know what?” Takeshi touched his cheek. “Time for you to go the fuck to sleep.”

“Wait, wait, is that true, now I am curious!” Isao asked but Takeshi was already up, tugging Naoko after himself.

“Come on, I will show you your room.”

“But, mom!” Naoko whined yet went, hanging on Takeshi for support. “Gosh, you’re skinny.” They heard him commenting as they reached the middle of the stairs but Takeshi just pulled him forward. “I am going to tell Isao to feed you more. Tomorrow though. Ain’t walking down those stairs tonight.” He shook his head dramatically.

Takeshi rolled his eyes, trying not to laugh.

**

Fresh out of the shower Takeshi pulled the blinds over the window seeing outside becoming bright. It was about six am and he only was going to sleep. Usually it would not be a problem whatsoever, but he had a child who could wake up very soon even though he tried to push her sleeping times.

Takeshi bent to kiss her forehead and she smiled in her sleep. The rest of the boys promised to go upstairs to sleep soon, too, but a shower later and Isao still wasn’t here. But he did not have strength to go downstairs and check on them again, he already said his goodnight.

Now he just had to put his head down on the pillow and hope the ache from tiredness would go away. He was fast asleep seconds later, barely feeling strong arms embracing him tightly.

**

Takeshi opened his eyes slowly, feeling warm and comfortable. It took him a few seconds to remind himself that he seemed really rested for someone who had a child under his care.

He stretched out his arms and realised Isao was not by him on the bed.

Takeshi sat up quickly. Sayomi was not in her cot either.

He reached for his phone, blood pressure raised. There was a lot of notifications and none of them from Isao. Surely he had to take her?

A few seconds later he noticed a note, which he had to push away with his hand when he was stretching. Takeshi grabbed it and lied down as his heart filled with relief, hand pressed to the middle of his chest.

“We went to get breakfast. Stay in bed x”

Just then he heard lots of fast and loud knocking of someone who had no time to spare and he laughed quietly when the door was opened and a little girl ran in. Isao walked inside with a terrified look on his face of a man who just spent a few minutes with an imp.

“Ta-shi, Ta-shi, Taaa-shi…!” Sayomi climbed up the bed that luckily was placed low above the floor. She crawled up to him and lied under the covers when Takeshi lifted them, her legs still dancing.

“I smell breakfast!”

Isao only managed to sit down on the edge when they heard excited voices and Naoko with James showed up, grin on each face.

“Oh, hell no!” Isao tried to close the door but they ignored him and flew inside the room very happy with themselves.

“Hello, darling.” Naoko lied behind Takeshi who curled up laughing seeing them. He winked with a flirt and stealing Takeshi’s attention for a second, grabbed the bun Isao meant to hand to Takeshi and shoved inside his mouth with a sound of absolute delight.

“Are you guys serious?” Nalin peaked inside, face already sorry as he looked at Takeshi.

“You might as well join us since they won’t leave anyway.” Isao murmured in defeat and terrified realised that rest of the gang was hiding behind Nalin. Excited they pushed him in and within five seconds they all somehow were sat on the bed.

“No, don’t go.” Naoko whined when Takeshi moved up to make more space for them, Sayomi already back on her feet jumping excited with all the uncles around her.

“Idiot.” Takeshi swatted him with a small pillow.

“Can you take your hand off my fiancé’s ass?” Isao asked Naoko and when he did insulted, Takeshi finally could sit up lifting himself from his side.

“I would say I am sorry, but I was starving.” Iwao shrugged spreading butter on his bread and putting more ham on it. “Especially for such breakfast.”

“Just don’t tell your wife you had breakfast in bed.” Nobu snorted.

“My fiancée would not even react.” Akira admitted. “She said nothing would surprise her anymore.”

“Damn, she reached that stage fast.” Kin laid his head in Takeshi’s lap, quickly regretting it when Sayomi jumped on top of him. “Ow.”

“Why is she in a ball dress?” Akira asked a little confused.

“Why not?” Naoko did not seem surprised.

“And she wore UGG boots with it.”

“Why not?” James asked.

Akira showed them a middle finger making them laugh.

“This is what happens when you let a man dress a child.” Kin pointed his finger at Isao who sat more comfortably closer to Takeshi.

“She wanted to wear it!” He did not see a problem either.

“The media will ruin me.” Takeshi shook his head.

**

“You really did not need to get me anything.” Isao said when they all walked down to the garage.

Naoko was currently having an existential crisis seeing Takeshi’s car collection, the garage white and shiny, Naoko on his knees, one hand on the car he always wanted and just now realised Takeshi snatched first, another on his own desperate face, and James trying to pull him up.

“No wonder you told me that one car is not enough.” Nalin looked around in shock. He heard the rumours of Takeshi having millions underneath his mansion but it was still more than he imagined. A few years ago he went to a beautiful garage to buy his classic car and it was full of really expensive cars considering their age and originality. The floor was white and bright, the lights reflecting in polished surfaces of the machines. Yet it looked poor compared to what Takeshi had here.

“Of course I needed to get you something.” Takeshi smiled. “That’s not all, actually, but there’s something I will give you once this boyband will leave.” He grinned with a little flirt.

“What?” Naoko suddenly showed up behind his back, looking over his shoulder.

“This is why.” Takeshi added not taking his eyes off Isao, and then took them to the far end where something smaller than a car was hidden underneath a box with huge ribbon over it.

“I thought it was going to be a car, but…” James realised what it was and starred at Takeshi with his eyes like slits drowning a little in jealousy.

Isao walked over after handing Sayomi to Takeshi and lifted the huge box uncovering a black motorcycle. He looked at it speechless long enough to have Takeshi wonder whether he bought the wrong one.

“You sure you checked his computer history well enough?” James asked knowing very well that Takeshi could not figure out himself what motorcycle was a good one.

“Yeah!” Takeshi poked him in his side when Sayomi demanded being put down and ran to Isao.

“He would be an idiot if he did not want a Guerilla.” James added quietly to calm Takeshi down seeing him really starting to worry.

Takeshi smiled at him and they saw Isao turning, eyes big. “What’s this?” He mouthed with his finger pointing at the motorcycle.

“Your Harley.” Takeshi grinned, still a little unsurely.

Isao finally walked up to him, with Sayomi right behind him, and grabbed Takeshi into a tight hug, lips kissing his temple as Takeshi hid his face in the crook of his neck.

James with Naoko looked at each other and smoothly walked towards the motorcycle using the moment.

“I love you.” Isao kissed Takeshi’s cheek, and lips, and cheek again, pressing him to his body even tighter.

“You mean the Harley.” Takeshi giggled.

“Never as much, though.” Isao picked up Sayomi when she kicked him in the shin not taking their ignorance lightly. “Thank you.”

“Can I have a ride?” Naoko asked from the sit of the motorcycle.

Isao turned back. “Hey!”

**

Takeshi sat with Isao on the little hill in the park, watching Kisumi playing with Sayomi on the playground.

“Silence...” Isao wrapped his arm around Takeshi, breathing out in relief.

“Stop pretending you did not enjoy their company.” Takeshi smiled. He and Isao were such opposites in some ways. Takeshi was a party boy, he loved the loud music and as many people as possible around him. He needed company to feel alive, and when he heard that he feeds off people’s energy, and gives it at the same time, he did not disagree. When he was left alone for too long, only bad things happened.

Isao was a calm soul, one that needed his peace and to be alone at least sometimes. He only accepted Takeshi’s presence but Takeshi still tried to give him space. He would probably never go to parties if not Takeshi, because of who Isao needed to learn to be as much of an extrovert as introvert.

But he always enjoyed the presence of his mates and a party at home.

“It was great. Thank you for everything. Really everything.”

“You’re welcome.” Takeshi hugged himself feeling the winter wind. “You surely are the easiest person to plan anything for.”

“At least you got a break from all those huge parties.” Isao put his arm around him to warm him up.

“True, but on the other hand I wanted to give you a huge party. You deserve it.” Everything was about Takeshi lately and he really wanted Isao to be the centre of attention for once.

“This was the best for me personally, you know it.” He stroked his arm and groaned when he felt his phone ringing.

Takeshi listened to him arguing on the phone, someone clearly wanted him back at the office. He knew it was Isao’s mates because they dropped him a message earlier that they have a surprise for him and Takeshi arranged for the office to be free in the first place, by calling his subordinates and telling them to help them.

“Go.” Takeshi squeezed his thigh and Isao gave up, frustrated throwing the phone on the grass. “You’re such a kid sometimes.” He kissed his cheek.

“Says you.” Isao picked the phone up and stood up. “Go closer to them, I don’t want you to be alone.”

“Shiro is going to be here in a minute.” Takeshi reminded him.

“Ah, right. Shiro-Hero.” Isao rolled his eyes and snorted when Takeshi slapped his shin with a laugh. “I will be back as soon as possible.” He bent and caught his chin to kiss him on the lips hard enough for Takeshi to not forget him while he would be away.

**

“A park? Really?” Shiro whined and sat by Takeshi on the grass, looking slightly grossed out.

“It is quite warm, stop complaining.” Takeshi smiled. It was a nice day, warmest yet as the winter was slowly ending.

“Yeah, but you know, we could have ended in my apartment doing something much more fun. In warm condition.” Shiro sighed with pretended defeat and opened his bag to take documents out and show them to Takeshi who took them shaking his head.

“What.” Shiro pushed him a little.

“You seem in a good mood.”

“I am in a hungry mood, but since you do not want to participate…” He shrugged with a sigh.

“Isao has birthday today and we are right opposite to his son and my grandchild playing. Control yourself.” Takeshi snorted, looking through papers.

“Birthday? What do you wish a guy who has everything?”

Takeshi looked up at him and saw a flirty face. “Damn, you’re smooth today.” He tried not to laugh.

“It’s because I am horny,” he explained.

“Isao did not even get any yet, stop dreaming.”

“What’s wrong with the dude?” Shiro looked horrified.

“Baby in the room.” Takeshi grinned and pointed towards a little girl running towards them with a boy of similar hair trying to catch her.

“Ta-shi, Ta-shi, Taaaa-shi!!!” She jumped on Takeshi’s neck and he grinned happily.

“Ah.” Shiro understood. “Ta-shi.” And at this moment it engraved in his brain to never be forgotten. He smirked.

“Shut up.” Takeshi slapped him.

Sayomi looked at Shiro with curiosity. He had absolutely no idea how to deal with kids. It was easier when she was asleep during Christening when he saw her for the last time.

“Wave to her.” Takeshi decided to help.

Shiro did unsurely and she laughed delighted waving back.

“She weirdly reminds me of you.” Shiro concluded. What a little sunshine.

Kisumi lied down wheezing on the grass by them.

“Because she’s my perfect grandchild.” Takeshi helped her sit on his lap and took out a yoghurt to feed her.

Shiro chuckled when she turned in his lap and opened her mouth like a bird waiting for her mother to feed her. “Well, she surely does not have that after you.” He noticed.

Shiro wanted to make a dirty joke instead, but he would probably end up killed for it.

Takeshi side-eyed him. “You okay, Kisumi?” He turned his head towards him.

“Dying.” Kisumi threw his arm over his eyes. “Where she got all the energy from, Sousuke is chill, Rin isn’t exactly a party boy either…”

“Her grandpa.” Shiro suggested. “Have you ever seen him in a club?”

“He hasn’t seen me at the Underground.” Takeshi smiled coyly.

“Ki-su.” Sayomi crawled off Takeshi, right on top of Kisumi instead. “Ki-su!”

“Oh, my God.” Kisumi breathed out.

“Off you go.” Takeshi helped him stand up as Kisumi caught Sayomi.

**

Shiro watched Takeshi reading through the documents. He looked beautiful today even if a little thin, but he seemed rested, cheeks blushed from the cold weather, hair curling a little on the side. Shiro wanted to kiss him, but he was not stupid enough to do it in front of all those adults and kids on the playground.

The kid really had to bring him a lot of happiness.

“Ah, so your son is picking her from the park?” Shiro asked spotting Sousuke walking towards them.

“No, why?” Takeshi asked, eyes on the documents.

Shiro did not have time to point out that his son was coming, with shock he saw Sousuke suddenly and harshly grabbing Takeshi to pull him up and shove against the tree. Neither Shiro or Takeshi had a chance to react, one stayed speechless on the ground, other gasped in distress as he felt the hard surface against his back.

“What have you done!?”

Takeshi has never seen Sousuke so mad, and he did not know what to say as he felt his fists tightening on his arms. He expected him to be pissed off for taking Sayomi considering that Isao only just punched him, but to catch his arms so tightly, nails digging into them, the pain striking through his body… Takeshi looked up at him wondering if he was going to hit him.

“They took him.” Sousuke snapped and pressed him further against the tree. “They took him and you knew they would!”

“Sousuke, I don’t know what you are talking about…” Takeshi said unsurely and cringed trying to move away seeing Sousuke lifting his hand. He opened his eyes he did not know he closed and realised Shiro caught his son’s arm quickly. “Shiro, don’t…” Takeshi only managed to grasp his jacket before Shiro shoved Sousuke to the ground.

“What the fuck!” Shiro had an urge to punch Sousuke, but Takeshi was pulling him away and Shiro only extended his arm to keep him safe behind him. “Have you lost your mind!?” Shiro had absolutely no idea what Sousuke was on about, but he was disgusted with his behaviour. He was Takeshi’s son, for God’s sake, and Takeshi was a mafia boss, how could he attack him in front of everyone, at all! “Are you okay?” He turned towards Takeshi and asked with worry. He was angry at himself for reacting so late.

Takeshi seemed in shock, but he nodded quickly, holding Shiro by the arm. Before he could manage to say something they heard Isao’s worried voice and Takeshi turned around only to feel Isao’s arms wrapping around him.

“What happened?” Isao asked again.

“That idiot threw himself at him.” Shiro explained watching Sousuke standing up and they noticed he had tears in his eyes.

“Rin is gone.” Sousuke whispered, ignoring them and starring straight at Takeshi. “You knew they were out to get my family, but you only took Sayomi leaving him for death.” There was so much betrayal, so much sadness and anger in his eyes, and his fists shook. “I hate you. I fucking hate you.”

“Sousuke…” Takeshi choked out. “I did not know, I did not…”

“You’ve always hated him.” Sousuke pointed his finger at Takeshi and Isao pressed him to his body tighter as Shiro kept his arm stretched out to protect Takeshi, too. “Of course you’ve used the opportunity. The gang told me that you knew!”

“You spoke with the gang?” Isao snapped.

“They called me and said they did it to prove to me that my father is an evil piece of shit and he proved them right.”

“You better stop now.” Isao warned him.

“Or what? You are going to punch me again?” Sousuke snorted and looked at Takeshi who stood speechless. “You can stop the whole bullshit of how poor you are.” He mocked and looked down at Takeshi in distaste he could remember in Satoru’s face. “I am done. I am taking Sayomi and leaving. Don’t come anywhere close to us ever again.” He spit out and they heard Sayomi’s voice screaming ‘daddy’, and seconds later a little girl jumped in Sousuke’s arms who turned around and left without another word, Sayomi not understanding they were leaving. But she looked up finally after telling all the stories in her own language to her dad and saw them standing far away.

“Ta-shi?” She extended her little hand, not understanding. “Ta-shi!!!” She cried out, sniff at the end making Takeshi’s heart break. He moved forward but Isao and Shiro stopped him.

“We have to go home.” Isao stroked Takeshi’s arms seeing him close to breaking down. “Kisumi.” Isao looked at his son who stood terrified frozen in one place. “Please message the gang to come to Takeshi’s mansion, okay.”

Kisumi nodded and Isao turned his face towards Shiro. “You’re coming with us.”

**

Nobu could not stop the storm that came before they could react. When Takeshi walked inside the house, everybody was already switching between channels, everywhere information and pictures from the park.

[Fight between Yamazakis!]

[Is the Yamazaki family broken?]

[Takeshi’s son attacks him!]

[Rumours of Yamazaki running mafia continue!]

[Is Takeshi Yamazaki Yakuza’s boss?]

Takeshi sat on the sofa feeling weak.

“Is it too late?” Isao walked up to Nobu seeing that James climbed behind Takeshi and wrapped his arms around him, Shiro standing close.

“There’s nothing I can do.” Nobu shook his head. “Middle of the day, in a public place, everybody heard.”

“What exactly happened?” Iwao asked Takeshi, but he did not answer, starring at the TV repeatedly showing an image of Sousuke lifting his hand at him.

“Sousuke thinks that we were informed about the gang trying to kidnap Rin and Sayomi, so Takeshi decided to only take Sayomi and let them take Rin.” Isao explained quietly.

“And it did not cross his mind that they are manipulating him?” Iwao rubbed his eyes irritated.

“He did not let Takeshi talk, just threw himself at him.” Shiro added. “He said he is leaving and to never contact him again.”

Isao sat by Takeshi, starting to really worry for him. At the beginning his blood boiled and he wanted to punch Sousuke as much as Shiro, but the last thing they needed was to stress Takeshi more and the media to see them fight.

“I know this is not what you want to hear but we need to take action.” Nobu kneeled in front of Takeshi. “He can’t just split with the gang and suggest he will join the enemy.”

Takeshi closed his eyes trying to gather himself together. Everything was like behind a fog because he did not want to realise what just happened. His son thought he betrayed him. His son tried to hit him. His son humiliated him in public. His son hated him. His son left.

With Sayomi.

He lost his whole family.

“Takeshi.” Nobu touched his hands.

“Send our people to keep an eye on him,” Takeshi said quietly. “Make sure he does not leave Tokyo.”

“You know we can imprison him and give you the kid.” Iwao sat opposite to them.

“Iwao, please.” Nobu gave him a quick look and focused back on Takeshi. “You need to release a statement to the media, too.”

“What am I supposed to say?” Takeshi asked, slight irony in his voice.

“I will write it for you but just tell me overall. Are we dissing it all, saying it was a misunderstanding, saying he lost it…?”

“If you are going to counterattack, Sousuke will snap back.” Shiro interrupted. “Write that there was a misunderstanding and to stop listening to the media blowing it out of proportions. As simple as that.”

“Okay.” Nobu squeezed Takeshi’s hands and stood up to get a laptop.

Kisumi had enough of watching them and slipped on the place by Takeshi to hug him tight. He seemed so broken to him, and it was so unfair after everything that Takeshi did for him. And he knew that Takeshi tried as hard with Sousuke, but something was happening with his friend and perhaps Kisumi should have reacted earlier to stop this from taking place. But he did not.

Isao smiled, stroking Takeshi’s knee as Kisumi wrapped himself around him and James stayed behind. Shiro was keeping his distance and Isao used the moment to ask him to go with him outside.

Takeshi did not even react and Nalin quickly took Isao’s place to hold his hands, stroking them softly.

**

“Thank you.” Isao said the second they walked outside, downstairs to the driveway in front of the mansion.

“Huh?” Shiro turned to face him, hands in his pockets. His mind was busy thinking through what happened in the park.

“Look, I know why you protected Takeshi, but it does not matter.” It did matter, but not to the rational part of him. “What does is that you protected Takeshi when I was away. So, thank you.” And it really was not easy for Isao to say it, but Takeshi’s safety was most important to him, so he did. He should not have left him and if this was the punishment he had to pay, he would.

“I would not let anyone be abused in front of me, unless it were an enemy.” Shiro crossed his arms over his chest.

Isao was already turning back when he heard him and he smiled, facing him again with a slight smirk. “You know,” he walked up to him, “if anybody then I know how strong Takeshi’s charm is. Frankly, I should not really blame you for falling for him.” For taking an action, though, he could.

“I did not fall for him.” Shiro rolled his eyes. Here we go again.

Isao chuckled. “You think I do not see the way you look at him?” He asked quietly. “The way you try to touch him, or you don’t even know when you do, or how you flirt? I see everything. But I also see that at the end of the day Takeshi looks at me first. And this is the only reason why I tolerate you.”

Shiro sighed a little frustrated. “He is absolutely gorgeous so it is difficult to control yourself sometimes, alright. Surely you understand that, too. But I am not looking for anything serious, and you’re right, he only has his eyes for you. I care about him because he is my friend. That’s all.” Why did he need to explain it again!

Isao did not look convinced; he just shook his head a little and turned to go back to the mansion.

**

“Where’s Takeshi?” Isao asked the guys who were sat in the living room quietly, TV turned off a while ago.

“He did not feel well, so he went upstairs to lie down.” Nalin said after stepping off the stairs.

“He did not take it well, did he?” Kin murmured, face concerned. Takeshi did not even protect himself.

“Takeshi tried so hard with Sousuke only to have him attack him twice, plus he took Sayomi away.” Isao winced. “Takeshi is really attached to her.”

“Come on, we all know exactly what Takeshi is doing.” Nobu said what none of them dared. “He is living his dream through her. This is why it hurt him so much.” Sousuke harassing him again hurt, but the heartbreak on his face when he took Sayomi away was even clearer on the photos the media showed.

“He is absolutely fantastic with her, so…” Isao seemed angry with them, feeling as if they were accusing Takeshi of being selfish.

“I am not belittling him, I know he is an angel, and Sayomi loves him back as much.” Nobu smiled to calm him down. “But there’s more to them than a simple family, and that’s where the issue is. They seem like a dad and child, not a grandpa and grandchild. And it would be fine, but I thought that considering Takeshi and Sousuke are clashing, it will just end in a fight where Takeshi will end up hurt the most because of his attachment.”

“I don’t think Takeshi would be much different to her, dream or not.” Iwao slightly disagreed.

“Me neither.” Nobu sighed, swearing at himself in his mind. He did not want to make it sound like he was reducing Takeshi’s love for Sayomi to a desperate need for his own child. “But it is the difference of a son taking away the grandchild from its grandparent or taking away the child from its mother. It is Sousuke knowing that taking her away will hurt Takeshi the most and he can use her against him. I just worry for Takeshi.” Intentionally or not, Sousuke was hitting in the most sensitive parts of Takeshi’s heart again and again.

They stayed quiet for a while.

“I will check on him, he probably did not fall asleep.” Isao moved but Nalin stopped him.

“He is sleeping and he will be out for a few hours.”

“Was giving him more drugs necessary?” Isao did not want to sound ungrateful, but seeing how Takeshi swallows a few every morning and evening, sometimes during the day too, and cringes, made him feel a little ill. He knew they were helping, and he needed them, but wasn’t it enough? Too many drugs weren’t good either, were they?

“I gave him tea made from my herbs.” Nalin explained calmly. “No chemicals. And he only needed a few sips to fall asleep.”

“What do you mean by that?” Akira asked unsurely.

Nalin was quiet for a moment, playing with his sleeve. “I mean that he is weakening.”

They did not say anything. The poisoning was still such a taboo; nobody wanted to touch the subject, like it could disappear if they would never speak of it. Nalin understood, but he could not do it considering that he was the one trying to keep Takeshi alive every single day.

“There’s nothing more we can do at the moment with Sousuke or the gossip.” Nobu stood up and looked at Isao. “Go to Takeshi, make sure he rests and try to enjoy rest of your birthday.” He walked up to him and patted him on the back seeing his upset face. “We will see where this goes tomorrow and decide on next steps.”

“Okay.” Isao nodded. “Thank you, guys.”

**

Isao went upstairs when everybody else left. Inside the bedroom Takeshi slept on his side on their bed. He seemed peaceful, but Isao knew that it were the herbs doing its job. Nalin left the window slightly open and fresh air made him relax, too.

Isao slipped on the bed behind Takeshi and pulled the covers higher on him, lying down himself and closing his eyes after he brought his arm around Takeshi.

He did not think that Sousuke should get away with what he did. Everybody understood that he wasn’t aware of Rin being a traitor, that he was manipulated and believed that because of Takeshi his boyfriend was kidnapped. But it did not excuse his foolishness. It did not excuse attacking Takeshi, in public, trying to hurt him, hating, and taking Sayomi away, telling Takeshi to never come close. He could not believe that Sousuke attacked again and this time grabbed his father causing him pain and nearly hit him. Sousuke should have came to them and talk about what happened. This is what Sousuke from a few months ago would do. The Sousuke who warned Takeshi that Rin might not be loyal to them. But a few months with Rin completely changed him.

Isao was not letting it go. Sousuke had to calm the storm he created himself. But Isao could not go alone, he needed assistance because they boy did not fear him.

“Isao?”

He heard a quiet murmur and smiled when Takeshi turned towards him without opening his eyes, still asleep. Isao brushed his fingers through his hair and stroked his cheek, Takeshi moving in his sleep, unconsciously searching for his warm touch. Isao kissed his forehead and hugged tight.

He knew exactly whom he would ask for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to the new subscribers and bookmarkers!  
> Thank you so much to the lovely people who commented or messaged me, you are the reason I continue to publish <3 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!
> 
>  


	69. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If I am ever, and I repeat ever, going to explain myself to anyone, it is going to be Takeshi.” Satoru said quietly. “Not you. Not anybody else.”  
> “I pray he won’t ever need to see your face again.”

Isao woke up to a sunset and stretched, quickly realising that Takeshi was not by him. But he heard the sound of running water in the bathroom and waited until he came back, big shirt on reaching the middle of his thighs, and hair a mess, face freshly washed. Takeshi smiled seeing him and took a present he earlier put on the armchair to hand the wrapped square shaped item to him.

“I said no more presents.” Isao shook his head but took it curiously.

“You won’t regret it.” Takeshi climbed underneath the covers and cuddled up to him.

Isao unwrapped the big item and cocked his eyebrow realising it was a hardcover album of graphite colour. He opened it and saw a black sheet with beautiful gold writing in the middle stating ‘Happy Birthday, Isao. Forever yours, Takeshi’.

Takeshi hoped that Isao read it literally, because he meant it. Dead or alive, Takeshi belonged to him. No matter what. No matter what would happen to them, him, forever he would be his.

Isao smiled and turned to the next page. There was the first picture of Takeshi in black and white, standing on his toes in just a long shirt showing his legs, looking up with his hair tied up in a bun. The ballerina the family knew so well, yet so private and soft looking like only Isao knew. There were a few pictures showing Takeshi shy and so young in different poses.

Then the theme changed and he saw the model Takeshi, extravagant clothes and make up, cool, Vogue-like shots, Takeshi using his athletic knowledge, showing himself and the clothes off, looking like a doll. Big eyes and high cheekbones, always so pretty.

And finally the pictures definitely only meant for Isao, the flirty, sexy and suggestive Takeshi, the dark look, less clothes, erotic lingerie and nudity yet always leaving just enough to imagination. Isao licked his lips seeing the provocative poses, Takeshi in a tight small and black dress lifting it up his thigh and cocking his eyebrow, or a picture of his back with the dress slipping off. The red lipstick always on his lips. Hands in his hair, body shaped perfectly and twisting to tease. The stockings and panties, and Takeshi lying on his front, or standing, Isao eyeing his back.

And final picture, Takeshi completely naked but lying on his front on the bed, covered where needed with white sheets. Dark make up around eyes and red lips a little smudged.

“Who’s the photographer?” Isao needed a few moments after he closed the book.

Takeshi laughed at his jealousy. “A very professional man who’s done a lot of sessions.”

“Well, okay.” Isao sighed, finding it hard to control the lust.

Takeshi kissed his cheek and they stayed quiet as Isao went through the album again and again, other hand stroking Takeshi’s arm.

“I wanted you to have pictures of me when I still looked good.” Takeshi said quietly.

“You always look good to me.” Isao kissed his head.

“I won’t look good after the chemo.” Takeshi hugged Isao tighter. “So in case you’d want to forget that I was quite pretty once, now you have a reminder.”

“Takeshi, even chemo would not manage to make you look bad.” He lifted his chin so he would look into his eyes. “I know it is going to be horrifying for you, but we will go through it together and you will get healthy. And everything is going to be okay.”

As usual, Takeshi just casted his eyes down. Isao knew he did not believe it, Takeshi was ensured that the chemotherapy would kick him off his feet and he would never get up again.

But he forgot that Isao was here to pull him up whenever he would need it.

**

“I know you do not want to, but we need to talk about what happened yesterday.”

They were in a bath filled with hot water, bubbles reaching their chins. Takeshi sat up with his back towards Isao, between his legs, watching the fashion week on television placed above, as Isao washed his back.

“Takeshi.” Isao pulled him so he would lie on his chest instead. He brought his arms around him. “Come on.”

“What do you want to talk about, how I made a complete fool out of myself?” Takeshi seemed irritated and Isao actually took it as a good sign because he worried that Takeshi would completely break. And he did at first, but maybe Sousuke’s behaviour at least pushed the right buttons.

“You’ve made a fool out of yourself?”

“The last thing I need is people watching me closely now.” Takeshi said quietly. “Yakuza’s boss scared of his own son.” He snorted a little desperate. “Nothing like ruining my image when I need it the most.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Isao kissed his neck. “I will take care of it.”

Takeshi turned in his arms, and folded his own over his chest to put his chin on top of them. The question on his face was obvious.

“What do you think about Sousuke being forced to come to the Underground,” Isao explained as his hands travelled up and down Takeshi’s smooth back, “but to… clean up glasses. So to the public he obviously would be under your control and punished.” It was such a light punishment Takeshi would approve of, yet enough for the gangs to see that he kid was under control.

Takeshi was quiet thinking about it, looking at him from under his long eyelashes. His wet hair was brushed back by Isao himself, now playing with it trying to style them up with shampoo. He laughed when Takeshi furrowed his eyebrows realising he stopped massaging his head and started doing it.

“Don’t you look adorable,” Isao joked.

“How are you planning to make Sousuke do that?” Takeshi asked.

Isao sighed, hands back to stroking his back. “Just leave it to me.” He smiled. He wasn’t sure why he thought that Takeshi would actually believe it would be that easy. He knew that Isao planned something else, too. This wasn’t about making Sousuke clean glasses.

“Isao…” Placing hands on the bottom of the bath he lifted himself up a little.

“Takeshi, I think it is wise to say that yesterday Sousuke has ended being your little baby boy and became an adult who attacked the boss of Yakuza, and his father, in front of everyone, threatening your position, safety, Yakuza’s security… I do understand that he could have lost it hearing that Rin was kidnapped because of you, but he is mature and trained, and loyalty is our main priority. Anybody else would be ended for such behaviour. If he is not intelligent enough to sense that he is being manipulated and come to speak to you, he should have at least thrown a fit in private.”

Takeshi sighed and put his cheek back on his chest when Isao moved a little up.

“It is unfortunate that Sousuke does not know the privilege he lives in.” Isao said. “But if he wants nothing to do with us, then I will show him how it is when you do not belong and attack the boss.” Takeshi tensed so Isao quickly added, “Obviously I am not going to kill him.”

“Frighten him but don’t hurt him.” Takeshi said quietly. Was he a bad father for actually letting his fiancée harm his son? On the surface it seemed so severe and ugly, but did he really have a choice? Sousuke was getting worse, there was a war going on, and Takeshi could not afford him betraying them, ruining his image. And it already felt as if he did. In other circumstances he would take more time, be a father not a boss, but he had no time.

“Nothing permanent.”

“Isao!”

“I shouldn’t have told you anything, should I?” Isao rolled his eyes.

Takeshi starred at him angrily so he cheekily grabbed his ass and pulled up into a kiss. “Leave it to me.”

Takeshi bit his lip but did not comment further. Isao always dealt with his enemies. Enemies, not his son. It was Sousuke who he kept safe away from him only a few months ago.

Now everything changed drastically. 

“You know that he completely ruined his chance of becoming the next boss.” Takeshi sat in his lap, ignoring Isao’s telling face. He moved his hips teasingly and Isao quickly caught them in a grip.

“If you want us to have a serious conversation, you need to stop.” He breathed out.

Takeshi chuckled, fingers stroking his chest.

“We won’t need a new boss for a very long time anyway, so we will figure something out when the time comes.” Isao rested his head against the back of the bath and closed his eyes. “Maybe he will use his time to prove himself, just in time for us to retire.” He snorted, just imagining them older on a boat in some beautiful, warm country, sunbathing, drink for each, and then making love with the stars above them.

And then, probably, being suddenly called to fix some huge problem, because he could not imagine them really catching a break. Ever.

Takeshi shook his head. No point to talk about this again. “Remember that he is ill. He can’t panic or…”

“I will ensure that he is going to be safe back home after I’m finished.”

“What are you planning to do?” Takeshi did not like the sound of it. He assumed Isao would go to Sousuke’s apartment and talk to him, threaten maybe.

“Take him on a ride and talk.” Isao shrugged and lifted himself, catching Takeshi’s waist. “He is my godson, I am not going to hurt him. Trust me.”

Takeshi did not sleep that night.

**

“You’re late.”

Isao shrugged, sitting himself on the chair in the corner of an old pub. It was full of people and Isao relaxed knowing nobody will listen. He put his hands on the dirty table and leaned forward, getting a good look at his father.

Satoru sat in the dark, the usual emotionless man starring at him as if he were no different to all the people around him. Still in perfect shape, strong and muscles probably even bigger than his, age only working in his favour.

“I need your help with something.”

Satoru cocked an eyebrow. “That’s the second time you’re asking me for help in a very short time.”

Isao closed his eyes for a moment to keep calm. “You’ve hurt, nearly murdered my fiancée twice…”

“Oh you said that last time.” Satoru interrupted. “Do you have a new excuse?”

“Excuse?” Isao snapped, leaning in further. “It is your job to protect him in the first place. You think you will promise me one thing that you might not even need to do and this is it? Takeshi is going to remember what you did to him till the end!”

“It’s not my fault he is so weak.” Satoru responded calmly.

Isao saw red. He straightened up and stood up. “Go fuck yourself.”

Satoru was in enough of a shock to not stop him before he walked away. He stood up with a growl and followed him outside without a rush.

It was a cold night, stars shining on the sky as they walked down the quiet street.

“Oh, please, are you really going to threaten his life because you can’t stand an argument with me.” Satoru chuckled. “Grow up, Isao.”

He did not expect his son to turn around abruptly and grab him harshly to slam against the wall. Satoru’s eyes were like slits, but he did not move. They were both of similar strength, but a mad man was capable of what a man would never dream of.

“I did not need to question you to know that you feel no remorse over what you’ve caused Takeshi. And you know what, that’s the worst, that you really are such a monster.” Isao spit out. “You have always cared about rules, you were such a perfect bodyguard, and then you fell so low to torture the one you were meant to protect.”

“No, son, I was meant to protect Katsu and I did till his last day. I am still carrying out his orders. When he was alive nobody touched him, unlike your precious Takeshi. Do not dare to reprimand me.” His son was a failure as a bodyguard so he had no right to speak.

“Takeshi is his son.” Isao tightened his grip, not letting him move the blame on him. He knew he fucked up. But so did his father who unlike him did not want to take any blame. “He’s a Yamazaki. He looks just like him. He has his goddamn eyes. And you fucking looked into them and still cut his face! I’ve read the report, I know exactly how many times you put the knife in his body! Then you tried to drown him, too!” God, he could still see Takeshi in the bath full of blood, Kisumi crying and panicking, both of them trying to stop the bleeding. Isao thought Takeshi was going to die. He held him in his arms and saw him taking his last breaths as he wheezed, his own blood choking him. Then the horror of the pain he was suffering from, the depression and suicidal moments when his father attacked him again, threatened with rape…

“It does not say anywhere that we are meant to protect the children.”

Isao shook his head. “No, because every normal human being would without needing to be told.”

“You are really not convincing me to help you.” Satoru said ironically.

“Why did you really attack him? How could you?” Isao needed to know. He did not know why, maybe it was childish of him, maybe it was needing to see some humanity in his father, maybe an excuse to not murder him on the spot. He was desperate and hated himself for it because it felt like betraying Takeshi and dismissing everything he went through. But he truly did not, it was just so difficult for him to accept that his father could be so heartless. Isao was such a hypocrite being first to not accept Sousuke’s behaviour, but he did not even punch his father once. To at least know why… Did the man really justify his actions with the fact that Takeshi loved Isao…? Was his own father really such a monster? Was there no humanity in him?

He would never excuse nor forgive him, but he was begging to hear that the man did not know what he was doing. That someone poisoned him, that he had no control over his actions.

“If I am ever, and I repeat ever, going to explain myself to anyone, it is going to be Takeshi.” Satoru said quietly. “Not you. Not anybody else.”

“I pray he won’t ever need to see your face again.”

“Keep on praying, I am sure that will save him from dying. As much as you leaving him whenever shit happens.”

“I’ve left him because he nearly died because of me. I’ve left him so you would not attack him again!” And here they were, all the blame on Isao’s shoulders again. But it was sort of right, wasn’t? It was his fault. If not him, his father would have never gotten to Takeshi in the first place.

“You’re a fool to assume attacker’s intention. He got hurt again because you assumed.” Satoru pushed him away, feeling the grasp lightening as Isao’s head filled with guilt. A sigh escaped his throat. “Do you sometimes try to understand why Katsu and I tried to separate the two of you?”

Isao snorted. “What?” Where did it come from?

“You fuck up all the time because you don’t think with your head, you think with your feelings.” Satoru shook his head in disapproval. “That day I attacked him, it should have been anger not guilt filling your veins. Did you fuck up? Of course you did. But how did you help him by running away in tears? You’ve put him in danger again. And he was hurt again. Even if he would not let you in, if he’d hate you guts, it was your job to be his shadow and protect him from the distance.”

“Watch out or I will think you do actually care for him.” Isao crossed his arms over his chest. Takeshi did not even hate him then. And it was a little horrifying, because he deserved the hate. “I’ve learnt my lesson. I would never leave him again. And I am trying to be a better bodyguard, not just a partner now. If you wanted to teach me by hurting him so much then congratulations, you have managed.” He swallowed hard. He felt so much guilt because he was human. It was normal! And now realising all of this happened to Takeshi to teach Isao a lesson? It made him feel sick.

“No guilt.” Satoru repeated seeing Isao turning away and covering his face. “What did you want me to do for you?” Isao just shook his head. “Isao!”

“Nothing, I do not trust you.” He sat by the wall of one of the many buildings. “Just leave.” His voice broke.

Satoru kneeled by him. “You did not learn your lesson.” He smiled seeing his hands rolling into fists. “You need my help. You need my advice. And I promised you that I would do my best so I will. What do you need me for?”

“It’s about Sousuke,” he said quietly. What if this was the biggest mistake of his life? Yet he wasn’t gambling with his own, he gambled with Takeshi’s and Sousuke’s.

“The attack in the park, I assume.” Cocky smile showed on his face.

“I need to scare him, but he knows I would never do more than punch his face. He won’t feel threatened by me.” Isao still had his eyes casted down. “He knows what you did to his father.”

“You want me to get him myself?”

“We would both go.” Isao would never trust him enough to leave it to him. He saw what Satoru was capable of doing to Katsu’s son. He would not even blink before hurting Katsu’s grandson.

“Fine.”

**

Sousuke walked down the street when he felt someone from behind putting a cloth over his mouth. He lost consciousness before he could guess.

When he woke up and could see nothing, he knew there was a bag thrown over his head. Sousuke tried to move his hands but with no luck he realised they were tied behind. He was sat on a chair and he could not move his legs either, something heavy keeping them stuck to the floor.

Dread run through his body but he took a deep breath in, trying to relax. If it was the other gang, at least he was closer to Rin. Maybe he would manage to save them both.

The bag was quickly taken off his head and he cringed when the light hit his eyes. He blinked a few times and saw no other person than his godfather.

“Isao?” He asked in shock, disbelieving.

“Sousuke.” Isao stood in front of him and his face was pale. They were in a warehouse. Perhaps the one where Sousuke killed one of the traitors when Rin and Haru interrupted.

Traitors.

“You’re trying to scare me?” He was scared, he did not understand how could this be happening, his father would never… His father let the gang take his Rin. His father knew Isao hurt him and did nothing. Maybe he would let him kill him too.

Isao smiled and disappeared out of his view for a second only to come back with a chair and sit comfortably, watching him with sort of curiosity.

“Did you stop to think, before you attacked your father, that you might need to face consequences for your actions?” He asked unbuttoning his jacket so it’d feel more comfortable.

“Me?” Sousuke snapped. Isao would not do a thing to him anyway! He knew such situations, he attended them, he carried them out himself! Did he think Sousuke forgot? It was laughable. It was just another game to scare but actually doing nothing, so he would be back under his father’s thumb.

“In a typically normal family you’d probably end up grounded for months for lifting your hand at your father.” Isao seemed deep in thought. “But, this is mafia we are talking about. Attacking your father who is the boss of Yakuza and that in public, too?” He winced, but chuckled later. “The funny thing is that considering you had the privilege of being such man’s son, he would save your ass no matter how much you would fuck up. But since you screamed out to everyone how you do not wish to belong.” Isao shrugged. “We need to deal with you like with all the traitors.” His hand pointed at the building. So it was the same place where Sousuke dealt with the man. His father stood right where Isao was showing, with those black gloves encasing his hands whenever he was up for a mission or straight murder, and he just looked at Sousuke and he knew to do the job. Like a little machine.

“I really was a fool thinking that we are more than mafia,” Sousuke spit out. “All this family bullshit, yet the second I do not want to belong you want me dead? Rin was right from the beginning!”

“Are we getting sentimental?” Isao cooed. “Now you want to talk about family? After you called your father a murderer because he lost a child and you tried to hit him?”

“I did not know he lost it!” Sousuke tried to move but his hands were stuck.

“No, usually when we are nosy we find out only half of the information and have to assume the rest which is the worst thing we can do. But you still acted on it. And I did tell you the truth but you did not come to your father to apologise. You came to hit him, once again assuming that he did something he did not. Is there a reason why you want him to be the villain so much? Did Rin really manipulate you this badly in just a few months? How WEAK are you, really?” Isao leaned forward, starting to lose control. Maybe Satoru was here not only to scare Sousuke, but keep an eye on Isao, because he wasn’t sure if he would not snap if he were alone.

“Let me go!” Sousuke had enough of listening to his bullshit. He trashed hoping the rope would get loose but it stayed tight. “What do you want me to do? Go and apologise? Fine, I will, and then I will continue to look for my boyfriend that father so did not push into the enemy’s arms!” He growled in frustration as the rope dig in his hands.

“I told you that you would be punished just like every other traitor.” Isao stood up and put his hands in his pockets. “Shove that fake ‘sorry’ up your ass, you wanted to be treated like an adult, so you will be punished like an adult.”

“You won’t do shit to me, anyway.” Sousuke lifted his chin and snorted.

“Of course I won’t.” Isao smiled. “You’re my godson.”

“Then what are you planning to do? Just leave me here for an hour?” Sousuke rolled his eyes.

Isao chuckled. “Yes. But not alone.”

Sousuke stopped smirking and confusion showed on his face instead. There was someone walking towards them, but the light was only on Sousuke and Isao. But when the man’s features finally became clear as he stood in the light right by Isao, Sousuke heard ringing in his ears.

It was Satoru.

Isao brought Satoru. The man who tortured his fiancée, Sousuke’s dad.

“You would not…” Sousuke felt his mouth drying. Isao was not a monster, for God’s sake. “He hurt dad…”

“And so did you.” Satoru smiled. He really was similar to Isao, Sousuke thought. Both muscular, both pretty much the same height, now both stone faced. And even though Isao had more features after his mother, something in their eyes was the same. “I thought since we both have a thing for trying to ruin him mentally, we might exchange our stories.”

“What?” Sousuke choked out. “I would never… I did not…” Satoru was a monster, not him!

“You mean you did those stuff without planning it?” Satoru seemed impressed. “My, my, you’re even more evil than I thought.”

“I would never hurt my dad like you!” Sousuke tried to escape again. What was going on! So Isao knew where his father was all this time and did nothing? Did not seek revenge? Lied to them? He called him in for him? He knew what he did to Takeshi and he wanted him to hurt his son now?!

“You’re a young gangster who is already brave enough to attack the boss in front of everyone. We get rid of such people quickly, as you know.” Isao said quietly. “Who knows what you would do next?” Sousuke was starring at him blankly and Isao finally saw him becoming truly afraid. He nodded to them and turned, making his way outside as Satoru took his place with a very satisfied smirk on his face.

“Isao?” Sousuke shouted. “Isao, don’t! Don’t leave me here!” He shouted after him but Isao carried on walking away.

“You know, I’ve kept the knife I cut your father with.” Satoru took the sit opposite to him, without sparing a look at him he pulled it out and watched it with certain fond that made Sousuke feel sick. Satoru leaned a little forward, resting his elbows on his lap.

“Isao! Please!” Sousuke shouted feeling his throat burn. But the man was gone from his view. He really left him. He really did.

“I’ve made sure it was sharp before I went to his home,” Satoru continued, ignoring his begging. “I knew I did not have much time and I wanted to cut him as much as possible. This knife went through his skin like through butter.” He lifted it and Sousuke stopped trashing and looked at him with distaste. “And you know what was most fascinating? He never fought back.” Takeshi knew that he was coming and told no one.

“You sick fuck.” Sousuke spit out. If he was meant to die, at least he would use the opportunity to tell him what he really thought about him.

“Oh no. I could have used a blunt one.” Satoru chuckled. “Then even Florist would not help. But it would slow me down, so.” He shrugged as if with a heavy heart he made the decision.

“Go to hell.” Sousuke felt the tears on his cheeks but he did not care. He did not want to hear the details of what the bastard did to his father. He saw the results, his own father trying to kill himself, it was enough to break his heart. “I would never hurt my dad like this!”

“You have already betrayed him and tried to hit him.” Satoru cocked his head, thinking. “The gang would love to have someone like you, son of the actual boss they want to take down. They probably thought it would be so difficult to win your over but all they had to do was kidnap your boyfriend and call you saying that it was your father’s fault.” He laughed. “You have done an amazing job at ruining your father’s reputation in just a few minutes, I am truly impressed. Poor guy worked so hard for it.”

“That’s not what I wanted to do!” Did it really seem so? He was mad and he did not think his actions could have such bad consequences. He thought his dad betrayed him! That’s why he reacted this badly. But if he knew, if his father… “He never told me anything so how I was meant to know!”

“You see, this is your biggest problem.” Satoru said frustrated. “You already live in huge privilege because your father is a mafia boss and he treats you like a goddamn diamond instead of putting you in order. Yet instead of appreciating it, you act like a brat, let a child manipulate you, trust those who betrayed you before, and gangs that are your father’s biggest enemies, instead of staying loyal to Yakuza and family…” He shook his head. “I could give you many examples, but the point is that you have completely lost basic common sense. Everybody was praising you for being such a fantastic son, working so hard and truly seeing you as the next boss and suddenly…” Satoru stopped.

“I would do everything for my dad.” Sousuke swallowed back tears. “Everything. And he knows it!” He shrieked when Satoru moved up suddenly and pressed the knife to his cheek. 

“You screamed in your father’s face to never come to you or his grandchild again. Are you sure he knows you would do everything for him?”

“I am sorry, I was angry, I did not know…” Sousuke’s chin shook.

“Okay, that’s enough.” They heard Isao’s soft voice and he walked up to them, face a little pale but mostly emotionless. Satoru moved away and hid the knife as Isao took the ropes off the shaking boy.

Sousuke quickly brushed his sleeve against his cheeks, drying the tears, and hugged himself, eyes casted down. “So it was just to scare me,” he tried to joke but it fell flat.

“Sousuke, listen to me.” Isao kneeled in front of him. “Your father or me would never let you get hurt, not to mention killed.” Sousuke nodded, and it’s been so long since Isao saw him as just a child. “But I can’t let you get away with such behaviour. You went too far the first time, but what you did in the park was sickening. And not only because Takeshi is a boss, but because he is your father.” Sousuke was nodding and Isao wasn’t sure whether it was just purely shock and he will calm down and try to murder them or actually come to apologise to Takeshi. “He really had nothing to do with Rin’s kidnapping. Trust me, the man would die just to see you happy.” Isao sighed. It was more than the truth. He was dying right now because of Rin and keeping it a secret to not hurt Sousuke. He at least deserved basic respect in return.

“I will apologise.” Sousuke said quietly. “I won’t tell what happened.”

“Takeshi does not know about Satoru.” Isao stood up. “And I do not want him to know yet. He is stressing too much already. Okay?” he asked and extended his hand for him to shake.

“Why do you trust him?” Sousuke asked quietly. “After what he did to dad, and he just told me…”

“Because, unfortunately, we need him right now.” Isao’s sour face ensured him more than any excuse would. For a minute.

“Okay.” Sousuke shook hands with him and Isao pulled him up.

“You’re going to come to the Underground to show people that the family is not broken.” Isao added. “But you are going to be helping around, not having fun. That was the punishment your father agreed on.” It wasn’t entirely true, but even when Takeshi let him talk with his son, Isao knew he would never approve of what he and Satoru did. Takeshi thought he would call Sousuke out on his bullshit, threaten him that he would face consequences. They took it further. But if his previous action did not make any change, he had to do this. There was a war going on, Takeshi was getting sicker and weaker, they had to pretend everything was fine as long as possible. Sousuke, the son, ruining everything or even betraying was the worst that could happen to them right now. There was no time to waste.

Sousuke nodded. Isao pushed him towards the exit, repeating in his head his own father’s words.

Don’t feel guilt. Remember your priorities.

**

“Say it now, or Takeshi will notice there’s something wrong.”

They sat in the car watching as Sousuke took the stairs, not the lift towards his apartment. Isao was in the driver’s sit and Satoru knew exactly what he wanted to talk about.

“I think I’ve made a mistake asking you for help.” Isao said quietly. “I will find another way…”

“The things I said about Takeshi were meant to freak his son out.” Satoru interrupted, facing him. “They were not entirely true.”

“You did not lie about what you did to him.”

“But I did not find pleasure in it, as you were made to think.” Satoru said. And this was it. He was not going to touch this subject again or explain himself to Isao. “And I keep my promises.”

“Right.” Isao rubbed his hands over his face, feeling his hands shaking a little. When he heard Satoru explaining the pleasure of cutting Takeshi he felt as sick as Sousuke sitting right there.

And when he said Takeshi did not fight back…

“I did not know that he lost.” Satoru said after a few moments.

Isao faced him surprised. If he expected him to comment on it, it was to show his disgust.

“When?” Satoru asked realising that Isao was not going to start the conversation.

“When you hit him in the club.” Isao answered quietly.

Satoru did not respond to that, and Isao knew what he thought. A punch could not make Takeshi miscarry, but hitting the table so hard with his tummy could have. Maybe his father would blame it on Florist because he most likely knew what happened later, too. Maybe he would think that it was because he hit him. And considering his silence, it seemed he thought the latter.

But he did not ask and Isao did not correct him. He obviously just found something that bothered Satoru, maybe he finally found humanity in him, and he was going to use it against him.

He just wondered why it was making Takeshi lose a child that seemed to trouble him the most. And he highly doubted it was only because it would have been his grandchild.

**

Takeshi sat in the living room without a single light on. It went dark a long time ago and he tried to close his eyes and sleep on the sofa, hoping Isao would wake him up, but he kept on turning from one side to another so he finally sat up, shivering under the blanket he wrapped around himself.

When he heard the noise of a car’s engine he stood up and opened the door quickly before Isao finished parking in front of the mansion. But Isao smiled at him as he stepped up and brought his arms around Takeshi.

“What are you doing outside, it is cold.” Isao pulled him inside and locked the door after them as Takeshi cuddled up to him.

“Is he okay?”

“He is perfectly fine.” Isao kissed the top of his head.

“Are you sure?” Takeshi asked, worrying and clearly regretting the whole action in the first place.

Isao put his hands on his cheeks. “He is safe back home, he understood what he did wrong, and he will see you at the Underground opening.”

Takeshi sighed and closed his eyes, resting his cheek on his shoulder.

“Time to sleep,” Isao whispered, lips soft against Takeshi’s temple.

**

Sat on the thick carpet, Sousuke watched Sayomi sleeping in her cot. He was shaken but a hot bath and tea calmed him down as much as it was possible.

He did not believe that Rin manipulated him. Sousuke was simply lost when he found him gone and when the gang quickly gave him an answer, raging he believed it and attacked. He wasn’t proud of it and he was going to apologise.

But.

He was more focused now on what was happening with his father. The fact that his father was hiding something serious from him wasn’t anything new, but he gave up trying to find out. He was simply prepared to act when he finally would tell. However, he was questioning Isao contacting his monster of a father.

Isao told him that they needed him, but Sousuke could not really understand it. He could guess that Satoru was a fantastic bodyguard, but surely they had hundreds of them? Even if another bodyguard would not be as good as Satoru, at least he did not previously torture Takeshi.

How could Isao think that Takeshi was going to accept it? How could he do it behind Takeshi’s back in the first place? Sousuke could not imagine his father being able to be one in one room with Satoru and he would never expect him to. How much stress it would cause him? That man made him want to kill himself. Have Isao lost it? Did he forget what his father did to Takeshi?

Maybe Sousuke was missing something? What if Isao was not on their side after all? What if his dad was in danger?

He felt Sayomi tugging his hair and looked up to see her standing with some of his hair in her hand now extended in disgust so he would take them off. Sousuke did while shaking his head smiling.

“Did you have fun with granddad?” He asked quietly.

She looked at him confused.

“I mean Ta-shi.”

“Ta-shi!” Now she understood and Sousuke snorted. Sayomi grinned and started telling him of all the things they have done, well this was what he guessed, because he did not really understood her baby language.

But she seemed so excited he listened to every word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. It's one of my favourites. 
> 
> Please leave a kudo and/or a comment. It takes less time than writing this chapter or reading it, I am sure you can manage ;)


	70. Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparing for the opening of Underground

The bedroom silent, Takeshi put his cheek on Isao’s naked chest, fingers stroking his hard stomach. Isao caressed his back, but Takeshi felt as if Isao was far away with his thoughts, not speaking since their heads touched the pillows as they breathed heavily.

He knew Isao for such a long time that he could see there was something bothering him without him needing to tell. Isao always tried to pretend nothing was wrong, but it was so easy to catch such a focused man suddenly spacing out, clearly worrying about something.

Takeshi kissed his chest and lifted his head to look at him. Isao was starring forward and smiled as his eyes focused on him.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Takeshi pressed his lips to Isao’s.

“Nothing.” Isao touched his cheek when Takeshi pulled away. “Why?”

“Something is bothering you.”

“No, it is not.” Isao grinned cheekily, ignoring Takeshi’s furrowed eyebrows.

“I’ve known you for too long to be fooled like that.” Takeshi kissed him again. “I want to help,” he whispered as his lips touched the corner of his mouth.

Isao hummed and Takeshi knew that he accomplished absolutely nothing. Arms wrapped around his small form and Isao flipped them over and covered him with his strong body, hungry smile on his face. He bent to steal a kiss.

“If you know me so well then I do not need to say what else I would prefer doing, right?” Isao cocked an eyebrow and Takeshi swatted him across the head, but let his arm fall across Isao’s shoulders to keep him close.

“You should be getting less horny at this age.” Takeshi said just when Isao tried to kiss him again, and the man stopped a breath away from his lips and lifted his head to look at him, face blank.

And then moved to the other side of the bed and lay down with his back facing Takeshi, who bit his lip trying not to laugh, still on his back slightly bothered.

Takeshi crawled over to him and poked him in the back. “Don’t be mad, oldie.” Seeing him tensing in anger he giggled and quickly stopped as Isao shook his head in absolute disbelief, still not looking at him.

“Oh come on, it was just a joke, you’re not that old, really. Just a little.” Takeshi screeched when Isao moved quickly and pushed him from his side to his back only to flip him over and slap on the butt. “Dickhead!”

“You just wait when you reach my age, in less than a year.” Isao lay down by him and rolled his eyes when Takeshi wrapped himself around him again. “Horrible.” Such a koala.

“You’re one of those who only get hotter with age, unlike me, no need to be scared.” Takeshi grinned.

“I can’t imagine you looking any different than a doll.” Isao cocked his head, trying to see it and failing, as his fingers stroked his smooth back.

“Maybe that’s why I need to die young.” Takeshi shrugged, but feeling Isao tensing he quickly apologised. This would be funnier if he weren’t actually dying, he thought with irony.

“You will find a way to be forever young, probably.” Isao shrugged like he did not hear. “But just in case, I would like you grey and wrinkly, too, don’t worry.”

Takeshi stuck his tongue out at him.

He knew he would. He just would not be given the chance.

**

“Why do you need to be so early here if the party is so late?” Isao asked, sat at the hairdresser slightly in the back in the waiting area, as Kisumi and Takeshi took sits in front of the mirrors, waiting for their stylist.

“Because this will take ages and I still need to get my dress and shoes.” Takeshi said as Kisumi spun on the chair, excited.

Isao threw the magazine at Takeshi, making him laugh. He asked him in the morning how long it was going to take and was stupid enough to trust his “not long!” answer.

Takeshi grinned when the hairdresser walked up to them and looked at his reflection in the mirror. “Morning.”

“My favourite customer, finally.” The man smiled and untied Takeshi’s hair, pushing his head forward and letting them all fall to the front. “And you’ve let it grown!”

“Just as you wanted.” Takeshi straightened up and brushed his hair back from his eyes. “Also, here’s Kisumi, Isao’s son.” He pointed to him and Kisumi waved a little shyly.

“Ah, the bubble-gum.” The man walked over to him and caught his hair in a grasp. “Your endings are horrible.”

“Don’t worry, he is always so sweet.” Takeshi said to Kisumi who sat there theoretically agreeing with the hairdresser. “Kisumi is going to wear a black dress.” He explained to the hairdresser. “So do something fun with his hair.”

The man looked at him. “I did not ask for your opinion.”

Kisumi choked on his tea.

“I won’t give you a tip today.” Takeshi pouted and slowly turned away.

“He will once I will finish with him.” The hairdresser winked to Kisumi. “I am going to play with Takeshi’s colour a bit, so I will start with him since he will take more time, okay?”

“Sure.” Kisumi grinned.

“What?” Takeshi straightened up in his sit. “You’re not touching my colour!”

“I am going to mix the dye, you wait here.” The man left them in silence.

Isao laughed satisfied seeing the fear in Takeshi’s eyes.

“You can go, after all.” Takeshi said to Isao.

“Oh, no, it’s okay, I can stay.” Isao grinned.

“GO.”

Isao chuckled and put the magazine away. He walked over to Takeshi who rested his head against the back of the sit so Isao bent and kissed him from above. “Call me.”

Kisumi cocked his head when Isao walked away and Takeshi appeared really stressed to him. Once the hairdresser came back, he seemed to see it too, because he laughed and patted him on the shoulder.

“You’re going to look beautiful.” He grinned and threw a cape over his shoulders. “I promise it to you.”

“Is this bleach?” Takeshi could not believe what he was seeing. Right by his side was a small black bowl with thick white substance inside. And only bleach was this thick.

“You’re going to be blonde.”

“Hell no!”

“Trust me.”

“No!”

“Don’t be a little bitch, if I tell you that you will look amazing, then you will.” He put both hands on his shoulders and kept him in his sit. “Takeshi, come on.”

Takeshi gave up. He knew why he was freaking out, and needed to stop himself right at this moment. Nobody knew why he suddenly cared so much about his hair, so they would think he’s immature. And maybe he was, after all, he would lose them soon anyway, right? At least they would go with a bang…

**

“You know, if you would have told me yesterday that you would be this busy, I’d have made some plans.” Isao mumbled and sat on the sofa behind Takeshi. He tried to waste time at the shopping centre, but he wasn’t Takeshi. He went to a shop to get something specific, not wonder around.

“Like going to the gym?” Takeshi stuck his tongue out, some of his hair wrapped in foil, rest deep in dye.

“That would waste two hours.” Isao pointed out and then looked at Kisumi who was having his hair cut. “Having fun?”

“Yeah…” Kisumi seemed to be in heaven, and it reminded Isao how much he loved his kid who appreciated the world around him so much. The sweetest thing about Kisumi was that he would be happy no matter how much money they would have because he knew how to find joy in the smallest things: from finding contact with his dad or Takeshi, to getting a dress from a designer.

“Feeling your head burning yet?” The hairdresser asked and Takeshi’s neck nearly snapped from facing him so quickly. “Just checking.” He tried to hide his laugh.

“If my hair will fall out, I will kill you.”

He sent him a kiss.

**

Isao starred with open mouth as Takeshi’s hair was blown dry. The mix of very light blondes covered his head nearly reaching his shoulders in soft waves. He looked so different Isao did not know what to say.

“Is it really bad?” Takeshi asked, eyes closed since they took the towel off.

Isao shook his head still speechless, forgetting he would not see it.

“You look amazing, open your eyes.” The hairdresser stood proud behind Takeshi, Kisumi’s grin the brightest in the room.

Takeshi opened his eyes and Isao felt himself falling in love all over again. He was always fascinated by Takeshi’s black eyes, but he never recognised how dark and deep they really were until now as the blonde colour of his hair underlined them even more.

“You look absolutely fantastic.” The hairdresser watched and watched, playing with his hair, impressed with the result. “Use black make up, underline those pretty coals.” A grin showed on his face. “And send me a picture.”

“Sure thing, boss.” Takeshi smiled, still in shock. He wasn’t sure whether he loved or hated the look, it was just so different he had no words.

“Make sure he snaps out of it before the party.” The man joked to Isao who stood up and extended his hand towards Takeshi who took it glad for the support. “I hope you’re happy, too.” He caught Kisumi starring with open mouth.

“Yeah!” He grinned. “Thank you.”

**

Isao did not wait till they arrived home, he grabbed Takeshi and kissed him right in front of the building from which they just walked out. Takeshi gasped and finally focused, breathing heavily when Isao let him go.

Kisumi stood on the side slightly uncomfortable and with relief waved to Ren who stopped the car right in front of them and jumped out to grab Kisumi into a hug. Not needing to hide his relationship anymore felt like being injected with bunch of endorphins.

“Hello, beautiful” He grinned. “I love the hair.”

“Oh my, God, you have actually noticed.” Kisumi seemed impressed.

“You did just walk out of a hairdresser.” Isao murmured, but stopped and whined quietly when Takeshi stood on his leg.

“There’s no need to interrupt.” Takeshi patted his cheek, ignoring his pained face.

Ren finally looked at them and cocked his head. “Wait.”

“That’s Takeshi, yes.” Kisumi decided to help him.

“Well, that’s… different.” Ren was confused as if his eyes tried very hard to see the black hair on him instead.

“You can say it looks horrible, I won’t be mad.” Takeshi chuckled even though he felt like crying instead.

“Please stop, you look fucking hot.” Isao said quietly in his ear hoping the other two boys won’t hear. He smirked when his fiance’s cheeks blushed and Takeshi smiled with a little threat behind it.

“Okay, Kisumi and me need to get the outfits fitted.” Takeshi elbowed Isao in his side. “Get lost, you two. We will call once we’re done.” He grabbed Kisumi’s hand and pulled him towards his car.

“But, Ren…” Kisumi lifted his finger, but he was shoved inside and Takeshi closed the door after him quickly. He walked up to Isao and kissed him on the lips to take the way too happy smile off his face as he looked at Ren who was just now realising what their plan was. “Behave.” Takeshi said quietly against his lips. If his fiancé wanted to talk to his son’s boyfriend, then he would help, like with everything else. But Isao promised to be kind and Takeshi expected him to keep the promise.

**

“Relax.” Takeshi grinned and ruffled Kisumi’s hair as they walked towards the designer’s office, car parked safely away. “Your dad just wanted to have a talk.”

“This is why I am not relaxing.” Kisumi knew that Isao was a calm person, but it was easy to tick him off which resulted in hands curling into fists and punched faces. “You know how dad is…”

“Isao is quite explosive, but I don’t see how Ren would piss him off to that point.” Takeshi was calm, he knew Isao only wanted to see how serious Ren was and probably subtly threaten him if he ever tried to hurt Kisumi. It made him laugh how much of a typical man Isao sometimes was.

“Sometimes Ren says too much, especially if he is threatened.” Kisumi growled tugging at his hair and Takeshi brought his arm around him. “You saw him at the party! He doesn’t think before he talks!”

“His response was pretty funny, to be fair.” Takeshi chuckled.

“Dad, it’s not…” Kisumi stood abruptly and slapped his hand over his mouth, eyes opening wide in fear. What the fuck. What. The. Fuck. “I am sorry,” he mumbled into his hand. “It slipped.”

Takeshi seemed in shock and really unsure about what he should say back to him, but fortunately he wasn’t mad. He finally just pulled him towards the office and through the white corridors they reached a lift on the side.

And bumped right into Shiro who was standing inside.

“Oh.” Busy texting on his phone he lifted his head seeing two people trying to get in the lift and moved to the side to make space. He nearly casted his eyes down when he recognised Kisumi and… “Takeshi?!” He’d never felt his jaw hitting the floor so hard.

Takeshi laughed. “Who else… Oh.” He remembered his new hair colour. “That bad?”

Shiro just starred at him in complete confusion as they slowly moved upwards.

“Shiro.”

He cocked his head.

“Shiro!”

“I don’t know what to say.” He finally laughed. “You’re unrecognizable.”

“Fantastic.” Takeshi sighed, looking to the side to see how many levels they still had to go through.

“So this is the designer that you have chosen.” Shiro grinned, making him focus back on him.

“Yeah, what you are doing here?” Takeshi cocked an eyebrow.

“Getting my jacket.” Shiro smirked. “You do know that everybody was searching for the best outfits like mad because they want to beat you for once.”

“Including you, so you went to my designer?” Takeshi snorted.

“Hey, not only you have a good taste here!”

There was a sound of the lift reaching the highest level and they walked out towards the office. Takeshi grasped Kisumi’s hand seeing him a little out of touch with reality after he slipped, and the boy returned the grip, relaxing. He was glad that Kisumi at least was more focused on something else than Shiro who was currently not controlling himself and starring horribly obviously.

“My favourite people are here.” The designer smiled brightly after he opened the door. He noticed Shiro. “And you.”

“I can’t believe I pay so much money and you’re just so rude.” Shiro shook his head and sat comfortably on the sofa. “I gather you will deal with your favourites first,” he mocked.

“Well, theoretically you would leave earlier if I would deal with you first…”

Takeshi laughed when Shiro gasped.

“Can I be first?” Kisumi asked Takeshi, cheeks a little red. “I want to save Ren as quickly as possible.”

“Save Ren?” Shiro asked curiously.

“Your dad is not going to do anything to him.” Takeshi shook his head. “But, sure, go ahead.” Well, everything could happen and considering Ren was a little snappy… Shiro’s telling face wasn’t helping either.

“Love the hair.” The designer smiled. “I left your dress on the side, put it on and I will see if I need to make any changes.” He gently pushed Kisumi towards another room. “Come on.”

Takeshi winked to Kisumi seeing his excited face and when the door closed after them, ignoring Shiro, he went to the other side of the room and found his dress. Just as he imagined.

Long sleeves, deep cut on the back, only half-thigh length. Green that was not too bright, the sequins covering it all giving it just enough shine in the light. It was gorgeous.

Takeshi shimmed out of his jeans, quickly took the sweatshirt and shirt off and pulled the dress over his head, carefully sliding it down his body.

“And I was complaining that I need to be here earlier than expected.” Shiro turned on the sit to take a better look.

Takeshi straightened frustrated not being able to zip himself up. He saw the dress and forgot Shiro was here with him. Never mind. He walked over to him and kicked him in the ankle.

“Zip me up.”

“I’d say with pleasure, but I prefer doing it the other way around.” Shiro stood up and Takeshi rolled his eyes.

“Shiro…” He warned when he felt him taking his time, fingertips making sure to slide up his spine.

“Tsk, are those goosebumps?”

He knew he was smirking without needing to look. “You’re such a dick.” Takeshi wasn’t sure why Shiro’s behaviour made him chuckle, but sometimes he was wondering whether he was desperately seeking his lust because it felt like as long as Shiro would remain interested, it meant Takeshi was still doing a good job covering his state. Plus if he saw him nearly naked and did not wince, it meant he was still okay.

Isao would love him nevertheless because he was an angel. Shiro only cared about his looks.

“No, now I’m a dick.” After making sure to touch the back that the material left uncovered he bent and kissed the side of his neck.

Takeshi turned around with speed of the light and slapped him on the arm. “Are you serious!?”

Shiro laughed. “Don’t worry, I was watching the door.”

“Still, this is just not…” Takeshi did not finish, not wanting to sound like a hypocrite. Not right? But sleeping together behind closed doors was? He walked away to the mirror to fix his hair and see how he looks.

“I am sorry.” Shiro walked up to him after a moment and fixed the dress on his back. “I’ve been so busy with work lately, so much goddamn stress with the latest cases that I think it started getting to my head.” He smiled and for once Takeshi saw in the reflection how tired he looked. “I will be fine after tonight,” he added jokingly.

“I am sorry, too.” Takeshi sighed quietly. “It’s too big isn’t?” He asked as he felt Shiro’s fingers grasping the material that was meant to stick to his back but was loose.

“I think so.” Shiro wasn’t an expert but it was pretty obvious. His eyes were more focused on his back, the tattoos usually covered, now in full display. He never actually had time to just properly look at them.

“Damn it.” Takeshi whispered to himself. He thought he lost weight, for the first time feeling it himself on the clothes he hoped simply stretched. Once upon a time he would be happy for losing weight without dieting, but now it was out of his control and just meant his body was starting to show that he was dying. Maybe just not enough to scare Shiro off, yet.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Takeshi’s voice was enough to worry Shiro who turned him around. “What’s wrong?” He repeated and touched his chin so he would lift his head and look at him.

“It’s really not your problem.”

“Come on…”

Takeshi sighed. “I’ve started losing weight. I can’t stop it.” Maybe some part of him was even pleased and he could not help it. But he needed control over it and he had none.

These days he was more concerned about not showing the public that he was dying and this was not helping.

“Is it the poison?” Shiro asked quietly.

“What else?” Takeshi snorted. “Sorry.” He did not need to pull Shiro into this.

“Why won’t you let me contact a few doctors?” Shiro reached his cheek, fingertips rougher than the soft skin of it. “Maybe Nalin is missing something, besides it won’t hurt to try everything…” He was a lawyer who saved asses of the best people in their professions, including doctors who went beyond anything to save their patients. Even if it meant needing him later.

“You know Nalin is the best there is.” Takeshi smiled, somehow touched with the concern. “Trust me, he has capabilities nobody else has.”

“Wouldn’t hurt to try.” Shiro repeated.

“I will let Nalin work his magic first.” Takeshi smiled, lack of hope obvious in his eyes.

Shiro opened his mouth, but they heard the door opening loudly and happy Kisumi rushed in, to only stop abruptly. Takeshi felt Shiro’s fingertips leaving his cheek.

“Kisumi!” Takeshi grinned and quickly walked over to him, making him twirl to get a good look at his dress. Small and black, just the way it was meant to be. “You look beautiful.”

“Well, at least he fits it, unlike you.” The designer pushed Takeshi to the middle of the room, put a few pins between his own lips and started fitting the dress on his figure. “I told you to not lose weight.”

Takeshi pouted his lips, eyes on Kisumi who was eyeing Shiro who in return pretended to not see it. For once he saw a similarity between Isao and his son.

“I need more pins,” The designer murmured. “Hey, you.” He told Shiro to come forward and hold the dress on the sides. “That will do.”

“Glad to be of assistance.” Shiro shook his head. He only came here for the jacket!

Takeshi tried not to laugh, arms spread as if to fly, Shiro in the front grabbing the material on the hips, the designer in the back quickly fixing the issue.

When they finished Kisumi rushed to rescue Ren and Shiro finally got his jacket and could stare at himself for a while in the mirror, ignoring Takeshi’s patronising look. “You just had two people trying to make sure you look absolutely stunning, how about you shush.”

“Well, do I?” Takeshi’s cockiness won over the knowledge that the designer was already suspicious enough. Hip to the side, hand up, and Shiro stopped focusing on himself and looked at him in the reflection instead.

“Of course you do.”

Takeshi grinned. The weight did not matter as long as he could cover it.

“Okay, since you both are happy, Shiro, you can go, Takeshi, I will bring you a box for the dress.” The designer left them and Shiro used the moment to walk up to Takeshi who had his back turned towards him. Takeshi jumped and put his hand on his heart.

“Are you twelve?” He sometimes seriously thought so.

“Don’t make it creepy.” Shiro stroked his back, a smirk on his face.

“I’m going to slap you so hard in a second.” Takeshi rolled his eyes.

“It could leave a mark and Isao’s son is already suspicious enough,” Shiro whispered as he brushed Takeshi’s hair away from his ear.

Takeshi smiled and turned to face him. “That’s a fantastic idea.” He slapped him on the cheek making sure that his nails left a few sharp scratches.

“Ow!” Shiro cringed and touched his cheek. “Bitch!”

“Serves you right!” Takeshi slapped him upside the head for good measure. “And don’t call me a bitch.” He pointed his finger at him.

“What did you hit me for!?” Ow!

“You gave me the idea!” Takeshi shrugged. “Now Kisumi will think you tried shit and I slapped you.” He smiled happy with himself.

“If I am meant to be the bad guy, can I at least get a kiss?” Shiro smiled bright, quick to forgive.

“You are unbelievable.” Takeshi shook his head, but seeing his puppy eyes with a sigh he decided to pull Shiro by the tie and plant a wet kiss on his cheek.

“I am.” Shiro quickly turned his head and stole a kiss from Takeshi’s lips.

“What has gotten into you?” Takeshi pushed him away, now shock colouring his face.

“Nothing,” Shiro mumbled, now seemingly slightly ashamed. He walked away from Takeshi to get his keys and wallet he left on the table when they arrived just in time for the designer to walk in back with the box he promised.

“Here you go.” He handed it to Takeshi who unsurely took it and went to the changing room this time. He saw Shiro paying the man before Takeshi locked the door after himself, wondering if he missed something. Shiro was always pretty straightforward and after only one thing, which made their relationship pretty simple. Yet here he was pushing it and Takeshi had a hard time believing that Shiro just wanted sex. Either he was having some troubles and hoped Takeshi will take his mind off it, in the same way Shiro always made Takeshi forget, or it was about something else. They had to talk.

But when he walked out back in his own clothes and the dress folded carefully inside the box, Shiro was already gone.

“He only just went.” The designer said as he was putting the money away. Takeshi did not need to pay. Or explain.

“Thank you.” He shook his hand and knew the designer saw more than he should have, but his lips would be sealed as always.

**

He rushed downstairs to the underground parking remembering that Shiro took a lift from there. Hoping it saved him enough time he looked around in search of Shiro’s car and heard an engine starting. The wheels screeched against the surface of the asphalt, the engine roared, and he could recognise Shiro’s car just by the noise of it.

Takeshi turned in the middle of the road, and the car stopped abruptly right in front of him. He crossed his arms over his chest seeing frustrated Shiro behind the wheel.

“Park the car, I have not finished talking.” Takeshi said out loud. He thought of just walking towards the passenger’s seat, but knew that the second he would get out of the way, Shiro would drive off. So he had to make him park first.

“I’m in a rush!” Shiro shouted.

Takeshi did not move and Shiro growled, turning right and stopping the car. Praying for patience, Takeshi opened the door and sat inside right by him, Shiro’s hands still on the wheel as he starred forward.

“So?” Takeshi asked.

“I don’t know, it’s you who wanted to talk.” Shiro shrugged.

“Do I really need to get naked to get your attention?”

Shiro’s head snapped to the side and Takeshi giggled. “Talk to me, Shiro.”

He seemed eager to push him away again, but finally with a loud sigh let go and relaxed in his seat. Still refusing to look at him as Takeshi continued on facing him.

Realising this would not go anywhere without proper action, Takeshi did what he knew would work the best on Shiro. Climbed in his lap.

“What…” Shiro caught his hips in a grip and Takeshi put his hands on his chest slowly moving them up and down on the white shirt, satisfied he got what he wanted.

“Are you going to talk to me now?” Takeshi asked quietly.

“It’s nothing,” Shiro murmured.

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” Takeshi straightened his collar, fingertips stroking his neck and then jaw. Shiro was weak, so damn weak against his flirt and Takeshi really had little time.

He did not expect Shiro to straighten up and kiss him, but he let him this time feeling one hand reaching his hair, another pressing against his back to pull him as close as possible, lips more demanding than ever before.

“Good Lord.” Takeshi breathed out when Shiro let him go and licked his lips satisfied. Now Shiro got what he wanted and Takeshi pulled back only a little as his hands were still tight on his hips. “Don’t you look pleased with yourself?” He snorted but aware of the blush covering his cheeks he quickly fixed his own shirt and hair.

“Very.” He stroked his thigh.

“This is it?” Takeshi asked, a little exasperated. “You were acting so off, because you wanted a kiss?”

“Yeah, I just wanted a kiss.” Shiro lifted his hand to take the strand of blonde hair between his fingertips. “I love the blonde.”

“Are we all good, then?” Takeshi asked.

Shiro put his hand down. “I will see you at the party.”

Takeshi smiled and bent to kiss him loudly on the lips. “See you at the party.” He chuckled as he moved off his lap and opened the door. Quick wink later, he was gone rushing towards his own car.

“We’re all good.” Shiro said quietly to himself in the silence and touched his lips, heart beating painfully.

**

“Hey, Kisumi, how’s the situation?” Takeshi asked as he pressed the ‘start’ button and the engine roared.

“Well, Ren is alive and went somewhere because Nalin told him to, and dad was called to the gym, they want something from him.” Kisumi sighed. “Want some lunch?”

“You know, I was thinking about exactly the same thing.”

**

Busy café ensured that nobody put much attention to them, although Kisumi was pretty sure that Takeshi’s completely unrecognisable image helped more than that.

“Come on, tell me the details.” Takeshi sipped his hot coffee.

“I called Ren, he was already on his way to wherever Nalin sent him.” Kisumi shrugged. “He said everything was fine.”

“Maybe it was then.” Takeshi smiled.

“Did dad say anything to you?” Kisumi asked.

“No, I didn’t talk with him yet.” Takeshi thanked the waiter who came forward and put their plates down. “Looks lovely, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled brightly at him and walked away.

Kisumi chuckled and Takeshi looked at him slightly confused. “How do you live with it?”

“Live with what?” Takeshi asked.

“You always get so much attention from guys.” Kisumi seemed a little uncomfortable and Takeshi knew this wasn’t really what he was worried about, because he was aware of it for months now.

Kisumi has noticed Shiro’s behaviour.

Takeshi put his cup away and folded his hands on the table. “Kisumi, listen to me very carefully.” The boy looked him into the eyes and he knew he could not lie. “I love your dad beyond anything. Since the beginning we had such a difficult journey, we’ve been through hell and back plenty of times, but at the end of the day we always… loved each other. We remained together during the worst times, sometimes we parted yet never fully, and we always came back to each other. The only way we could end up really separated is by…” he sighed, “well, death.” He tried to shrug like it did not matter because they were young, like he cringed at the dramatic way it made his whole monologue sound. Kisumi did not know that he was dying, but it was going to happen soon and it was the only way he saw himself leaving Isao. Otherwise maybe he would not speak for the both of them, because it was Takeshi, not Isao, who had a lot of issues because of which anybody else would have left him ages ago. Isao could leave at any time, it was Takeshi who would not.

“But it would not. Not really,” Kisumi said quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s in the contract, isn’t?” Kisumi asked. “If you die, dad has to, too.”

“How did you find out?” Something rung in his ears.

“I’ve done my research before making a decision.” Kisumi shrugged. He loved Sousuke like a brother, but apart from knowing that he was not fit to be a bodyguard in the first place, when your life is at stake you do wonder whether you would really prioritise another over yours. And the thing was, he probably would. He would throw himself in front of his dad, Sousuke, and Takeshi, too. Because he loved them. But doing it because it was simply his job, making it a constant thing on his mind…

“Your dad knows that I do not expect him to do it.” Takeshi hoped it would calm him.

Kisumi seemed to realise something and looked him in the eyes again. “You do know that I care for you as much as for dad, right?” Seeing Takeshi’s surprised face he smiled. “You made it sound like I just want you to ensure my dad would not die for you.” He did not want both of them to die, but he realised he made the impression like he could not care less about Takeshi and just wanted him to ensure his father’s safety.

“I would never want your dad to die for me,” Takeshi said quietly. “You know your dad was against the contract overall, and the only reason he stopped fighting was because he fell for me. We signed our contracts during times where there was no choice, but between the two of us, your father always knew that I expected nothing.”

“I did think you never held him to that part of the contract, anyway. I would never demand any promises because it would mean I think my dad would not consider going after you anyway.”

Takeshi sat speechless. He wasn’t sure whether he was more surprised that this bubblegum of happiness was having this conversation with him or his outstanding maturity over the subject.

“It’s not a contract to your dad or me. We can’t imagine living without another because we love each other. But I truly hope that when I am going to die, he will carry on because he has many reasons to.”

“Stop talking like you will.” Kisumi slapped his hand lightly. “You two will just continue being that cheesy couple everybody is jealous of, I know it.” He snorted, suddenly remembering. “And probably have those babies, I don’t know why it did not cross my mind that you might be trying for one.”

“Huh?” Takeshi choked on his drink and looked at him shocked. Again.

“Well, one the party Naoko noticed dad starring at you and Sayomi, so they started talking about kids and trying for them, so I kind of assumed…” Kisum’s voice gradually lost the excitement. “I shouldn’t have said that, sorry.”

Takeshi swallowed hard, eyes gazing at the edge of the cup. “Did your dad say that he wants children?”

“I did get the impression…” Kisumi scratched his head. Shit. He could feel the air becoming thick and he really wasn’t sure why Takeshi seemed suddenly so upset, whether he did not want kids and Isao did not know, or he was hiding something, or… he simply could not.

Kisumi slapped himself hard in his mind.

“Shall we go?” Kisumi asked with a weak smile.

**

“I am sorry for being suspicious because of that lawyer.” Kisumi breathed it out as if daring his life. Takeshi froze in the middle of turning the engine on and Kisumi was glad that at least he said it when they were not driving yet.

Takeshi sighed and drove off, Kisumi letting him collect his thoughts. He finally smiled, surprising him. “That lawyer, Shiro, was working for me when you and Sousuke were still in your nappies.” Takeshi chuckled. “And if I know anything about him, it is that he loves being free and he’s a huge flirt.”

“I mean, it was kind of funny how he was looking you up and down in the lift when you weren’t watching, but in the room when he touched you it did not seem like just a flirt anymore.” He said a little unsure where the boundary was.

Ah, so he did see more than Takeshi assumed. “Shiro is cocky, he was just testing how far he can go and if I will react to him.” Takeshi shrugged and Kisumi realised that it really wasn’t a big deal.

When they stopped on the red light, Takeshi looked at Kisumi.

“I would do anything for your dad, Kisumi. Don’t doubt it.”

He knew the boy did not just from his eyes and Takeshi faced the street again. Seeing the green light he pressed his leg against the pedal. It were mere seconds before he saw a car driving towards his right and he smashed his foot on the break as his hand extended automatically to press Kisumi against the sit as if his arm could save him from impact.

The car missed them and others beeped loudly seeing what happened, nearly crushing into each other’s backs. Takeshi was frozen in shock breathing heavy and closed his eyes for a moment to relax, hand on his heart as his arm left Kisumi who unlocked his belt to get a little closer to him, worried.

“Everything’s okay?” Kisumi asked concerned and put his hand on his shoulder.

Takeshi nodded and put his hands back on the wheel, his heart still beating so fast it felt exactly the same as when he had a heart attack. But now the cars were beeping because he was in the way and he started the engine and drove forward, heart slowing down.

“Goodness.” Kisumi put the belt back on and saw Takeshi calling someone, phone pressed to his ear. He was pale and Kisumi wondered whether he knew who just nearly crashed into them. It did not look like an accident. More like a threat.

“Isao?” Takeshi asked, something soft in his voice and Kisumi saw his face brightening up. “No, I am just calling to see if you’re home yet.”

Kisumi furrowed his eyebrows. And then understood.

He was checking if everybody else was safe, nearly killed himself, yet doing it in a way that would not tell them what just happened and how afraid he was. Just a day in life of a mafia boss, worrying about your loved ones. An attack on you meant a possible attack on the rest of the family, too.

Kisumi would never want to be in his skin.

“Everybody’s already with you? Fantastic. We will be home soon.” Takeshi smiled. “Love you, too.”

He put the phone down and Kisumi cocked his head.

“Don’t tell your father.” Takeshi looked at him quickly, making sure he was definitely all right.

“Why not?” Kisumi asked. Isao was a bodyguard, he could imagine he should know about such stuff.

Takeshi smiled. If they had such an honest day...

“When your dad fell in love with me, he said he wants to protect me, so a contract wasn’t a problem anymore,” Takeshi said. “The thing was, there is a difference between being a full time bodyguard and a partner who protects a loved one. As you probably know.” If Kisumi did his research like he said, then definitely. “The both of us could do little when it came to contracts, we were still children. I just remember promising myself that I will try to make your father feel like he was not a bodyguard.”

“So you’re hiding some of the accidents and such from him?” Kisumi wasn’t sure if it was a good idea.

“I know you might not believe it, but I am pretty good at protecting myself.” Takeshi chuckled. “And I will tell you a secret, but you must promise me to keep it to yourself, and yourself only.” He knew Kisumi would not tell his father about what Takeshi had been doing all this time because it would automatically put his father in danger.

Kisumi nodded, eyes curious. “You have my word.”

“I am usually aware of the level of danger of a situation. Sometimes I do not inform your father about certain incidents just so he would not worry, because there isn’t anything he can really do anyway. And sometimes I make sure your father is not with me, so he would not get hurt when I know an attack will definitely happen. I don’t want him to take the bullet.”

Kisumi sat in silence. “But he worries when you get hurt…” It sounded childish when it came out of his mouth, but it was true.

Takeshi smiled. “I prefer him to worry than to be on the hospital bed instead of me.”

“But then he blames himself that he wasn’t there for you.”

“He blames himself, but at the end of the day knows he could not predict anything.”

“But he… right.” If Takeshi does not tell him, then yes, he could not. “So when granddad…”

Takeshi bit his lip, thinking. “Yes and no. Your father wasn’t completely unaware, but I did not tell him that I truly expect his father to come and attack me. Either of us did not know exactly when, though. There was a difference of me being ensured it will happen sooner or later, while your dad did not believe his own father could do such a thing even if it crossed his mind. We never do when it is family.”

“Was this why you did not send killers on him?” Kisumi asked quietly.

“It was horribly unprofessional of me, but yes.” Takesh winced. “And hypocritical since I am punishing my son when he did not even touch me while letting Satoru go.” He was stressing before meeting Sousuke today, and wondering if he would even talk to him.

“It is different,” Kisumi said quietly. “Sousuke lost himself a little lately, a simple punishment will set him straight. My granddad did unforgivable and the only thing you can and should do is… ” He did not finish. He was never close to Satoru so he should not even care. Especially considering what the man did to Takeshi. But it was difficult to say ‘just kill him’.

“I can’t kill him,” Takeshi smiled a little. “He is your family.”

Kisumi poked his arm. “You’re my godfather and dad’s fiancée, you’re family, too.”

“Please don’t tell your granddad that.” Takeshi chuckled. “Although, I guess I can say keeping him alive aware that I belong to his family might be quite a punishment in itself.”

“Nobody would blame you for taking action.”

“I know.” Takeshi nodded. “But as much as Satoru hurt me, there were days when I really trusted him. And he helped me on the ship, too. I don’t want to kill someone who I know hides something from me that I know would change my perception.”

Kisumi did not add anything, seeing them approaching Takeshi’s mansion. His dad was sitting on the stairs in front of it munching on an apple seemingly happy with himself, smile only brightening seeing the two of them. He jumped off the steps and opened Takeshi’s door, hand extended.

“Hello, beautiful.” He stole Takeshi in his arms and kissed him on the lips.

“Are you okay?” Takeshi joked. Was he meant to be worried? Why was Isao so happy after interacting with Ren?

“Of course.” Isao kissed his cheek and Takeshi rolled his eyes and patted his cheek, feeling his hand sliding down his back.

“You two are so gross.” Kisumi shook his head but the slight lift of the corner of his lips betrayed his true feelings. “I hope my boyfriend is alive.”

“Are you trying to make me believe that you did not call him as soon as you felt it was appropriate?” Isao cocked an eyebrow and Kisumi grinned.

“You did not terrorise that boy, I hope.” Takeshi said quietly, turning to face him pretending to fix his curly hair.

“You know me.” Isao shrugged like it was obvious.

“Yeah, I do.” Takeshi looked at him tellingly. That was the point!

“I just made sure he would behave. He is fine.” Isao’s smile turned sincere and he kissed him again, now Takeshi relaxing in his arms that he put tight around him, trying to focus on kissing instead of smiling.

“Guys, come on!” Kisumi stood with his hands outstretched, with the box that had Takeshi’s dress inside. His eyes were full of hilarious disbelief seeing Takeshi and Isao busy with each other.

“Your son’s calling.” Takeshi pulled away with Isao still holding him tight around the waist and bit his lip, seeing him already bending forward to reach him again. “Isao!” He chuckled.

“Okay.” Isao sighed and pulled him up to steal the kiss he wanted. “Come here, you brat.” He walked up to Kisumi and pushed him towards the house, Takeshi understanding that they will talk about Ren, So he stayed outside and it was then when he felt the headache coming back, a short and sharp pain going through his head. He leaned against the car as he lost the sight for a moment. When he blinked and opened his eyes he realised Nalin was holding him up by the arm.

“Everything okay?” He asked concerned.

“Sure!” His voice sounded too weak to prove it and Nalin’s face said it all.

“Do you remember what you promised me when I started working on all those drugs for you?” Nalin put his hands lightly on top of his shoulders.

Takeshi cocked his head.

“That you are going to tell me when you won’t feel well. No secrets when it comes to your health.”

Takeshi smiled. “I didn’t say that.”

Nalin rolled his eyes. “I’ve assumed that when I started saving your life and even making you birth control pills it means there’s nothing you hide from me.”

“I am more likely to ask you for birth control than a painkiller.” Takeshi answered honestly.

Nalin chuckled, but there was something sad in his voice. He knew it, Takeshi thought. He knew that he had to watch so closely because he could miss the slightest problem and Takeshi would die. And Takeshi hated that he saw it like that, because it felt as if Takeshi was testing him, punishing him with his death if Nalin only did not prioritise him for a moment.

“I like the blonde.” Nalin smiled. “Quite a change.”

“My head still burns, but don’t tell anyone.” Takeshi touched it lightly with a pained smile. “And I hope people will stop touching my hair, I’m worried it will fall out.”

Nalin laughed. “This is why I don’t let anyone touch mine.”

“Yeah, mister perfect-long-white-hair.” Takeshi crossed his arm over his chest and smiled seeing Nalin’s cheek reddening. Never stop being an awkward teenager inside, please. “Can I play with yours before tonight?” He grinned his best smile.

“No.”

“Please!”

“No.”

Takeshi pouted and Nalin shook his head and brought his arm around him, pulling him inside the mansion. “Speaking of which, time to get ready for the opening.”

“Are you excited?”

“Yeah…” They sat on the sofas in the living room as Takeshi noticed that Nalin seemed stressed.

“I know it is not easy for you.” Takeshi cocked his head, looking at his distressed face, Nalin’s eyes casted down. “But don’t you think he would be happy?”

He saw his shy smile. “I think he would be delighted.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed! Next chapter - The opening of Underground!
> 
> Thank you for all the comments, messages, kudos and subscriptions! <3


	71. Opening of Underground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You got me on my knees, I’m your one man cult   
> Cross my heart and hope to die   
> Promise you I’ll never leave your side
> 
> Cause I’m telling you, you’re all I need   
> I promise you you’re all I see   
> Cause I’m telling you, you’re all I need  
> I’ll never leave
> 
> I will follow you, I will follow you   
> So you can drag me through Hell  
>  If it meant I could hold your hand  
>  I will follow you cause I’m under your spell   
> And you can throw me to the flames  
>  I will follow you, I will follow you

“Goodness.” Takeshi heard a whisper and looked up in the mirror as he was putting the dress on his body. Isao’s reflection was clear as he stood behind him in the closet. “You look stunning.” Isao walked closer to him and helped him zip the dress up, fingertips tracing his tattooed back.

“Not finished yet.” Takeshi chuckled, happy Isao liked the outfit. At the beginning the idea was to leave his legs uncovered, but, first, it was so cold he worried he would not be able to stand outside even for mere seconds, and second, he wanted to add some spice considering where they were going.

Isao watched as Takeshi sat down on the sofa in the middle of the closet, and started pulling black stockings up his thighs. A low growl escaped his throat when he noticed Takeshi grabbing the suspenders and hiking his dress up on each hip at the time, teasingly leaving it to cover everything else, as he attached stockings to the belt. Over the knee boots on a heel finished the look.

Takeshi smirked as he straightened up, making sure the dress covered enough. But a small move uncovered the fact that it was stockings, not tights he was wearing.

He made his way outside only to have Isao’s arm extend and stop him, quickly pulling him towards himself. A quiet gasp escaped his mouth when he felt Isao’s hard body against his.

“I am in a rush, mister.” Takeshi said teasingly only to whine quietly as Isao stole a kiss and hands squeezed his ass. “Isao…” he whispered as lips moved to his neck, hands not letting go.

“I would be insane to let you go out like this.”

“Darling, we’re going to the Underground.”

“Exactly.”

Takeshi chuckled, but let Isao’s hands slide under the dress, Isao only making it worse for himself.

“Jesus.” Isao’s fingers explored the soft lace around his hips and cheeks.

“Isao, I still need to put make-up on…” Takeshi looked up the ceiling praying to not start laughing.

But he gasped when he was suddenly pressed against the wall instead, hands grabbed by Isao and pulled up. He was kissed and kissed again, lips hot against his, hands demanding and he felt them undressing him so quickly but now he could not care less about stopping them.

**

Isao stroked Takeshi’s back as his fiancé put his head on his chest, their breaths slowing down. He played with his blonde hair, Takeshi too warn out to slap him for it. Neither had the need to move to the bedroom where the comfortable bed was, they cuddled up on the carpet in the closet with a blanket covering them. Just like teenagers, hiding from their fathers.

Isao preferred to focus on Takeshi’s hair lately, his heart aching whenever he stroked his thin body. He did not want to talk, point out the changes to his body, knowing that Takeshi was too self-conscious already. Especially when it came to his weight.

The weight that was dropping and Isao knew that it was not Takeshi’s job. When it started, he began watching Takeshi to see if he was dieting. He wasn’t. He ate as much as ever, he was not focusing on food whatsoever. But he continued on losing anyway.

“What’s up with you today?” Takeshi murmured in his chest, purring as he combed through his hair with his fingers.

Isao smiled. “The hair. The stockings, suspenders…” he sighed. “It’s funny how you seem self-aware, yet not fully, huh?”

“What do you mean?” Takeshi lifted his head, soft look on his face.

“You’re hot.” Isao said simply, fingertips touching his cheek. “You make me lose it.”

“Well, I am glad I can still get such a reaction out of you.” He smiled cheekily and moved closer to place a kiss on his lips. “Planning to do that as long as possible.”

“If I will tell you that you do not even need to try, will you stop putting such outfits on?”

Takeshi pouted his lips in thinking. “Nope.”

“You don’t even need to try.” He said it anyway.

Takeshi giggled and Isao put his arms around him and turned them so Takeshi would be back under him, arms holding him close and keeping away from the hard surface of the floor. The carpet was soft enough for Isao, not Takeshi, and he was not letting him bruise. He kissed him and kissed him more, but they heard the shout from downstairs telling them to hurry up and Isao let Takeshi finally go, eyes bright and happy, blanket around him as he gathered up to take a shower.

**

“Please don’t tease me too much at the club,” Isao murmured, zipping Takeshi up as he was checking in the full mirror whether his hair and make up was top notch. 

Satisfied Takeshi took a deep breath in and out, and turned to face Isao. “What do you mean ‘don’t tease me’? That’s the main reason for my existence.”

“I am supposed to protect you there, you little shit.” Isao shook his head.

“Okay, Mister Bodyguard.” Takeshi sighed deeply and corrected Isao’s white collar and black tie, and put his hands flat on his strong chest. He liked Isao in simple clothes, they underlined his manliness. “If anybody will ask, you’re wearing Balmain,” he informed him, handing him the blazer.

“Stop teasing me.” Isao lowered his head so he could reach his lips and steal a kiss. Balm- what?

“But I like when you’re all bothered.” Takeshi smirked and licked his top lip. He chuckled when Isao’s arm tightened around him and pressed their lips together hungrily. Again.

“GUYS!”

They heard a shout and Takeshi patted Isao on the arm pushing him towards the door. He had to take a good portion of pills and never liked Isao seeing him doing it.

**

“Damn.” James whistled when Takeshi walked downstairs in front of the whole group waiting impatiently.

Takeshi grinned seeing their faces. It was such a pleasure to see them impressed after months of them worrying. It was most important to him tonight to cover his illness. And he did it.

He tried not to laugh seeing James looking him up and down and later cocking his eyebrow, shaking his head. He noticed the stockings and guessed what was underneath the dress, and obviously for whom. “Shush.” Takeshi winked to him. James did not know that Isao already took the first surprise.

“Where’s Nalin?” Takeshi asked as Isao extended his hand for Takeshi to take, which he did gratefully.

“Here.” Nalin walked back inside the mansion and smiled at Takeshi. “Oh, wow.” The thing about Takeshi was that you would expect the best only to realise you did not know his best was beyond your imagination. “You look stunning.”

Takeshi grinned. “So, is everybody ready to go?” he asked, hand reaching to touch Nalin’s thick plait, but Nalin caught his wrist before he managed and quickly moved his hair so it would lie on his chest instead.

The cheerful smiles said it all.

**

Even Takeshi felt nervous standing in front of the people of Underground, the building behind him. Nalin stood right by him, yet just a little behind, which was an obvious signal that he wanted him to take care of everything. It was such a cold day that Takeshi wrapped himself in a coat and thick scarf, and people were looking so curiously at him trying to see what he had underneath, that he actually wished they were more interested in Underground itself. But maybe he should not blame them for not having their hearts as invested.

Here it was, the old modernised, without losing its touch. The place where they all could be themselves, where there was no judgment, where information stayed within the walls.

The place where Takeshi felt safe, away from his father, the shouts, the abuse. He owed Nalin’s father everything and he never forgot. The man saved his life.

This was where he met Isao. Isao, who now, after all those years, stood right in front of him, the supportive smile and bright eyes still present, excited even when trying to pretend to be serious as a bodyguard.

“I will be honest with you all, I have prepared a speech, but I am standing here now and I am completely speechless.” Takeshi smiled and quiet laughs were heard carried on with the wind. “Don’t laugh, fiancé, you know exactly what I’m talking about.” He chuckled when Isao gasped, remembering how he forgot his engagement speech. Takeshi looked at Nalin and it was nice to see him enthusiastic again, the happiness Takeshi felt he took away with all the problems he put on his shoulders. Tonight negativity was not invited. “The fantastic thing about Underground is that we all have very specific memories about it so it means something different yet special to each and every one of us. But it was always about freedom, and I am happy to announce that the freedom has returned.” The soft voice became cheerful towards the end and people applauded loudly. “So, not keeping you outside in the freezing any longer, Nalin…” The man looked at him confused and Takeshi took the scissors from Isao and handed them to him. There was a red ribbon behind them and he wanted him to cut it and make the opening official. It was Nalin’s father’s club and without Nalin and his courage they would not be standing here tonight.

“You’ve made this happen.” Nalin said quietly, but took the scissors.

“You came to me.” Takeshi smiled.

There was no point in fighting and maybe out of simplest respect for Takeshi’s freezing ass he just grinned and turned to the red ribbon and cut it, their hearts aching as it hit the floor and people clapped loudly. They made space to the entrance and excited people started walking in quickly, the music blasting from the inside as the club brightened up with colorful lights on the sound of the ribbon being cut.

Nalin’s surprise continued when he saw Isao walking in after winking to Takeshi who stayed outside, clearly waiting for everybody to be gone so they could be alone.

“There’s something else, too.” Takeshi caught Nalin’s hand and pulled him to the side. There was something on the wall by the entrance, hidden behind a satin material. “I was a little conflicted because some people would consider it disrespectful that I hid it instead of publicising and talking about it during the opening speech, but this is about you and your dad, so I feel like it’s too intimate to make you aware of it in front of everybody else.” Seeing that Nalin was understanding little, he took the soft fabric between his fingers and pulled it off the square stone hung on the wall.

[In memory of Masaki Mori, The Father of Underground]

It was so simple, black marble with italic gold writing. But Nalin felt his throat tighten and understood why Takeshi kept it between the two of them.

“Thank you.” He was grateful for the thought, for the friendship, for what they accomplished, and the fact that they could stand here together today and Takeshi knew he would be on the verge of tears seeing it, so he did not announce it in front of everyone.

Takeshi wrapped his arm around him and they stood in front of the marble in silence for a while.

**

It was dark inside, but you could notice sofas and chairs on the sides, space for singing and dancing deeper into the club, and stairs taking upstairs to the rooms usually rented for a few hours.

On the left, a bar, filled with alcohol taking the space on the wall reaching the ceiling. Behind the bar, hidden drugs, only certain people having access to it.

“How is it going?” Out of breath, Takeshi caught up with Nalin who stood behind the bar, the drugs selling as well as the alcohol. He wasn’t sure what the time was, he felt as if dancing for hours.

Nalin only lifted his thumb up and Takeshi saw him putting money in the small cupboard locked with a key only the two of them had.

“Are you having fun, though?” Takeshi grinned and hung on his neck, Nalin chuckling. He knew the drunk and in result clingy him so well. “I want you to be having fun.”

“I am.” Nalin kissed his temple. “I’m losing my hearing, though.” God it was loud, and people were singing, shouting, and laughing, and the music was only getting louder. He saw James climbing up the stage and starting to sing, Takeshi’s head automatically snapping to the side and he could see his eyes widening as memories hit.

Nalin could remember them, very similar looking because they both matured so little, but they were shorter and more childish, babies in comparison jumping on this stage in tutus because ‘why not, Nalin’, singing their hearts out, people looking at them so charmed wanting to laugh at their behaviour, but then they sung and danced and entertained, and everybody could just stare and enjoy.

“Come here, Takeshi, don’t make us wait for too long.” They heard in the speakers and James snorted seeing Takeshi’s face becoming terrified.

“Hell no!” He was far too drunk to sing tonight.

Nalin needed one begging look from James and chanting of everybody else in the club to start pushing Takeshi towards the stage. James grabbed Takeshi by the hand and helped him up, Takeshi not having a chance to say a word before a microphone was put in his hand.

“First of all…” He started. “I am very drunk, therefore you shall not judge.”

“I love how eloquent you get when you’re shitfaced.” James grinned, throwing one arm over Takeshi’s shoulders.

“That is thanks to this gorgeous man, right there.” Now Takeshi pointed to Isao who stood by the bar to get a drink and see him better. “Hi, baby!”

Isao was laughing and Takeshi really wasn’t sure about what.

“Maybe he will teach you how to be eloquent while not drunk next.” James suggested.

“Working on it!” Isao shouted from across the club.

Takeshi grinned and waved to him.

“You know what we realised tonight?” James asked.

“No?”

“That you two never did an engagement party!”

“We did, just did not invite anyone.”

People laughed and Takeshi winked to them.

“Well, we will let it go, consider this party your engagement party, too.” James sighed. “But you have to sing.”

“You know what, I will…” Takeshi hummed. “But you all are going to help me.”

It was time for Bohemian Rhapsody.

**

Isao watched Shiro for the whole night; when he showed up with a group of friends, both female and male. When the mates spent the night getting drunk and chatting up the girls. When one of the girls who came with them did her best to seduce Shiro. When he danced with her, and Isao saw them disappearing for some time, came back, and then he forgot about her, moving on quickly. When he laughed and joked, clearly having a lot of fun, even when the girl who finally realised he only wanted one thing was clearly plotting murder.

Shiro seemed harmless that night. On the surface.

But Isao noticed more. He saw how Shiro’s eyes searched for Takeshi the second he showed up at the club, missing the opening speech. He saw him dancing with the girls, but watching Takeshi dancing with James.

He saw how Shiro acted with the girl he only wanted one thing from. And it was nothing like the way he was treating Takeshi.

Takeshi was busy tonight, rushing around making sure everybody was having fun, getting more and more drunk and drugged, dancing any type of genre with James, and Isao was glad because at least with him he was ensured it meant nothing. He was being stopped by people to chat or take pictures with, Isao could spot their friends, gangsters, designers, and photographers. Even the man who scouted Takeshi all those years ago was invited, shaking his head in awe.

With the night progressing, Shiro was finally too drunk to stop himself anymore, and he reached Takeshi, stealing him for a dance. Takeshi did not refuse, he was dancing with everybody tonight. Isao saw Shiro’s face brightening, and he seemed happier being able to put his hands around Takeshi’s small waist, than when he just came back with the girl from who he got everything he looked for. But she wasn’t Takeshi.

Shiro was drunk, so he was brave. The music was slower and quieter, so he was chatting. Takeshi was laughing, hands thrown across his shoulders. They both liked each other, it was obvious.

If Shiro’s hands would go any lower…

“My turn.” Isao grinned and extended his hand so Takeshi would grab it, and he did smiling, letting Shiro go with a wink. He did, thanking with a small nod of his head.

“Finally got you all to myself.” Isao breathed in Takeshi’s beautiful perfumes, arms around his even more beautiful body. Takeshi hugged him as the song changed into a romantic one, slow so they could just sway softly to it. He bet James was behind it.

“You always do.” He put his cheek on his shoulder. “Just say a word.”

“And make you cancel thirty appointments and shoo away a few men along the way.” Isao chuckled and kissed his nose.

Takeshi shrugged.

“Sorry, I am just jealous.” How he could not be? Isao felt like he was the most patient man in the world as it was. It was difficult, in a way, because on one hand he obviously could not be a jerk telling Takeshi who he can and cannot speak with, throwing fits because he smiled at someone, while at the same time he knew that Takeshi himself liked to feel a healthy dose of his jealousy. Besides, if he felt none, it would mean he did not care. The line between a psychopath and a normal jealous man wasn’t that thick.

“Never understood why you would be.”

Isao smiled. “When you have a diamond, you keep it safe.”

“A diamond, yes. Not a broken toy.”

“Hey, hey…” Isao furrowed his eyebrows, arms tightening around Takeshi. “Don’t call yourself that.”

“It’s true.” Takeshi straightened up, sliding his arms across his shoulders. “Isao, you’re the type of a man a lot of people would love to be with. Handsome, strong, clever and fun, a gentleman… and you’re rich. You’d have it so much easier with anybody else. Yet you chose me, so do you really think I would be considering trying it with someone else?” He chuckled.

“See, you say those things, acting like it’s a miracle I’d want you, but the moment I saw you I thought you’re special. And you are, Takeshi, and I wish you’d see yourself through my eyes.”

“I can make myself look pretty, but there’s a lot of pretty guys even in this room.” He shrugged.

“Takeshi…” Isao hid his face in his neck.

“Hm?”

“You’re a mafia boss with plenty of businesses.”

“Yeah, but…”

“You basically rule the government.”

“Yes, but I…”

“You were not born into the position, you made it happen. You worked for it, and that required intelligence and being overall damn brilliant. And you are, trust me, I’ve known you for so long and you still often leave me in awe, as both businessman and fiancé.” He lifted his head and put his hands on his cheeks. “You are fantastic and worth way more than you could imagine. And even if I take all of it away, you’re simply my beautiful and funny ballerina and gymnast, making people fall for you because of your personality, not your position. You’re an absolute sunshine caring so much for your family, with such a good heart considering everything that happened to you.”

Takeshi shook his head. “You are ignoring everything that’s wrong with me.”

“And you ignore everything that’s wrong with me, and everybody else in the group.” Isao smiled. “We all do. People are not perfect, darling, we accept it, and focus on the good sides. And there’s so much good about you that I would be a fool to think of anybody else. In my eyes, you’re the perfect one. Do you know how many people wish they could be me now?” He grinned. “Sucks to be them.” Isao bit him lightly on the neck, making him laugh quietly. “I remember when I’ve met you and thought I don’t have a chance. You’re not the only one who feels small sometimes.”

Takeshi shook his head softly, and Isao knew he could not imagine it.

“You know what my plan is?” Isao realised that they missed the song switching to another one.

“Hm?” Takeshi peaked at him, eyes previously closed as he enjoyed his hug.

“When you will heal…”

“Isao.”

“… I am going to take you on holiday,” he continued like he did not hear him. “We will get the yacht and travel, some days we will stay on the sea, some we will visit all the beautiful places. One night I will take you to the beach, and we will walk, perhaps maybe in sunset instead, and I will ask you to marry me again.”

Takeshi felt his chin shaking and he bit his teeth together and closed his eyes. He tightened his arms around Isao’s neck and hid his face, Isao whispering to his ear.

“Then we will come back here and throw an actual engagement party, to get them off our backs.” He chuckled and Takeshi did the same. “And we will start preparing this huge wedding and invite our family and friends, and even media if you want, just so everyone would know how happy we are.”

Takeshi shook his head. “Wedding for family and friends, we will send pictures to media.”

“Okay.” Isao smiled. “Meanwhile we will also build our own house, on the ground I bought, so after a honeymoon it will be ready for us to live in. And you know what’s after that?”

“Hmm?” Takeshi smiled softly.

“Maybe more luck will smile to us and we will become parents again.”

Takeshi was quiet for a few moments. “You really want a baby, don’t you?” he whispered. Isao was not accepting anything that was really happening.

Isao touched his chin so he would look at him. “I think we both do. And if it turns out that we can have them, one day we might try again. And leave it up to luck.”

“I can, but the chance is still tiny.” He casted his eyes down. “I am sorry.” He wanted to give him children, he wanted one so badly himself, but what if he would never get pregnant, what if…

“Takeshi, I don’t want you to be stressing about it.” Isao kissed his cheek. “Once you will be healthy and the war will be over, everything will calm down and we will be able to stop worrying. And we will see, maybe you will get pregnant.” He shrugged. “Like I said, leave it to luck. If we are going to obsess then it won’t work out. Well, that’s what they all say.” He joked.

“I am glad at least you’re so positive.” Takeshi kissed his cheek. He wasn’t hopeful. He wished he was, but if he learned anything it was that he had no luck. And he wished it did not extend on Isao. But when he would finally die and Isao would be free, he would be able to find himself someone… normal. Isao only believed there was no better than Takeshi because he never tried to look.

“Of course I am.” He swayed him a little more cheerfully to the music.

“You can dream, you can have all of it.” Takeshi said quietly.

“Takeshi, I told you this before. You and nobody else.” Isao said, voice strong and he even stopped them for a second to look him in the eyes properly. He was not going to live the dream he imagined for them with someone else. Never.

Takeshi nodded.

“Wanna bet that all of this is going to happen?” Isao asked, cocky look on his face.

“Go on, then.” Takeshi chuckled.

“I will make you do something ridiculous once you will realise that you were wrong.” Isao decided.

“You better go skinny dipping on that beach if I win.” Takeshi smirked. “I will watch from above. Or below. It would be hilarious either way.”

“Oh, really, so it is not enough that I would join you, I have to humiliate myself first?” Isao cocked an eyebrow.

“Mhm.”

“You little shit.” Isao pressed his forehead to his and suddenly laughed quietly. “You’re totally giving me a nice striptease on that beach and then I’m ravishing you in the ocean.”

“Now we’re talking.” Takeshi touched his cheeks and pulled his head down so Isao would kiss him deeply. “Speaking of which… Do you remember which room we were at all those years ago?”

“Twenty, the last one.” Of course he remembered. Underground had two levels, ten rooms on each.

“What time is it now?”

Isao quickly checked his watch. “One in the morning.”

“Do you remember…”

“Two in the morning.” Takeshi pulled him upstairs when they finished dancing. The live music was ending always at two in the morning.

Where was he going with this?

Takeshi purred quietly, arms back across his shoulders. He touched his ear with his lips. “Meet me upstairs, in the room twenty, in an hour.” And he let him go with a wink, landing a slap on his butt when he froze in place. Isao did not manage to catch him and slap back with Takeshi already disappearing. Well, he thought, he definitely should have a walk outside in the cold if he was meant to wait an hour.

**

Sousuke did not come to Takeshi today, Isao sent him straight to the kitchen where he was meant to wash dishes. Takeshi found out later, and chose to leave him to it, but it was getting late and he had to check on him.

The group of boys and girls were loud chatting and working hard when he walked in. It wasn’t difficult to wash glasses and prepare simple dishes, but there were lots of people tonight and the kitchen wasn’t huge.

Sousuke was the only quiet one on the side.

“Ohhh! Shut the fuck up, guys, the boss is here!” A guy who was equivalent of a sunshine, with a smile so bright it made the kitchen dim in comparison, slapped his friend with the towel. The guy only turned his head slowly to glare at him.

“How is it going?” Takeshi tried not to laugh.

“Perfect, boss.” The sunshine nodded seriously.

Sousuke did not even look at him. “And how’s my son doing?” Takeshi cocked his head.

The sunshine walked up to Takeshi. “He’s kinda quiet,” he whispered.

“He’s pissed off with me,” Takeshi explained to him lightly.

“’m not,” Sousuke mumbled.

“GUYS I AM WAITING FOR FRIES!” They heard a female shout and sunshine rushed back to his station.

Takeshi walked over to Sousuke. “You’ve done enough for today,” he said. “Have a drink at the bar, relax a little.”

“No, it’s okay.” Sousuke smiled at him. “I will stay till the end.”

“Are you sure?” Takeshi asked, surprised.

“Yes. I screwed up, I want to finish the punishment.”

He really did not seem mad, just determined to pay.

“Okay. I appreciate that.” Takeshi touched his back and left after quickly praising the whole group.

“Your dad is hot.” Before shutting the door he saw sunshine throwing a towel at Sousuke who turned around and made a grossed out face.

Well, at least his son was normal.

**

Isao quickly went up the stairs and tried to contain his smile before walking inside the room number twenty. His eyes found Takeshi standing by the small window, his back turned towards Isao who locked the door behind himself.

“Looks familiar?” Takeshi faced him and leaned against the wall. Isao noticed the curly hair and small satin kimono he wrapped himself in, but Takeshi’s cocked eyebrow made him blink and look around the room, too.

“It’s the same, isn’t?” Isao grinned. The same colours, bed frame, just newer and fresher. And Takeshi, who stopped the time all those years ago. “You have not changed one bit.” Isao walked up to him and put his hands on his hips. Takeshi had a smug look on his face, stockings attached with suspenders to the belt, and heels on his long legs, and Isao really wanted to find out what was under the robe…

“Can’t say that about you.” Takeshi tugged a little on his tie and sighed quietly when he felt Isao’s rough hands moving up his thighs towards his ass.

“Oh, really?”

“Where has my nerdy angel gone?” Takeshi grinned, and Isao chuckled. “Look at those muscles…” He touched his hard arms and Isao grasped the kimono robe to unwrap it in the front, and he slowly slid it down Takeshi’s thin arms until it hit the floor. He gasped seeing Takeshi had a corset on, cut underneath his arms, covering his hips. 

All those years ago, he could remember spotting this beauty on stage. Voice of an angel, everybody focusing on him. Isao sat on the side by the bar, suddenly not caring anymore that he was forced to come to the club.

Curly black hair, big eyes, pretty face. Small dress. He could not take his eyes off him, and Takeshi noticed him finally and smiled at him. Isao wanted to get to know him, but seeing how outgoing the boy was, handsome men who were older than him chatting him up, the boss of the club constantly watching him, and this guy who looked like his boyfriend dancing with him on stage… Isao suddenly felt small.

But the beauty came to him and he starred at him speechless, like a fool not even offering him a sit. He introduced himself with his stage name, Seiji, which he later found out had nothing to do with his real name. Isao finally snapped out of it and introduced himself by a name he quickly came up with.

They chatted a little, but whenever he tried to ask about something personal, Seiji changed the subject. He was doing it swiftly, so he only realised it later.

Then they danced, closer and closer, and Isao kissed him, and he never felt so good.

Well, till Seiji pulled him upstairs and he realised that underneath the dress, was a corset, and he could take it off.

“With respect to us going back in time, I do not need to repeat my performance from that night, I hope?” Isao asked and Takeshi laughed, head thrown back.

“You were pretty good for a first timer.” Takeshi teased, untying his tie.

“Well, I hopefully improved over the years of experience with you.” Isao pulled Takeshi’s leg around his hip, bringing him closer, earning a soft whimper.

“Clearly,” Takeshi started slowly unbuttoning his shirt. “But if you’d fucked me the way you do now when I was a virgin, I think you’d scare me off.”

Isao growled and pressed him to the wall with his body, hands squeezing his ass as teeth bit him on the neck.

“Also…” Takeshi smirked and head lolled lazily to the side, Isao grabbing his jaw and stealing a deep kiss first. “Considering there’s another place where you visibly grew…” He cocked an eyebrow and could see Isao’s eyes darkening.

“Glad you noticed.” Of course Isao knew. Duh. “Could have told me that earlier.” Like nearly a year ago when they started sleeping together regularly. That little shit. His ego waited for this moment.

“Could have. Left it for a special occasion, though.” Takeshi giggled but stopped when Isao pushed his leg down from his hip and suddenly turned him around and put his hands on the wall, hips hiked back. Takeshi felt his kiss on the back of his neck, down his spine, and he threw his head back, body stretching and Isao murmuring delighted, kissing the side of his neck. He never lost his flexibility and Isao touched his body from the hip to the chest, finally pressing his hard body to his back, holding him still against himself with his hand on his chest.

“I could take the corset off,” he whispered to his ear. “But all I want is you on that bed in this outfit. Go.”

**

“Not having enough yet, mate?” Shiro’s friend patted him on the back. He looked at him drunk, sat by the bar asking for more and more alcohol.

“No, I am great.” He lifted the glass in cheer.

“Okay.” He shrugged and left him.

“Nalin!” Sweaty James appeared by Shiro’s side and sat close, eyes on Nalin behind the bar. “Drink, please, my throat is so dry.”

“What do you want?” Nalin asked.

James looked at the bar and then Shiro. “Same as him.” He got himself comfortable. “You look down, mate.”

Shiro gathered that he was talking to him. “I’m fine.”

“Boys.” They both saw Nalin’s smile first, and then felt someone throwing themselves on them. One arm over each of them, Takeshi giggled.

“Jesus.” James wrapped his arm around his waist to keep him stable. “Where you’ve been?”

“Upstairs.” He said, corny smile on his face.

James laughed. “Want to sit on my lap, might be more comfortable for your poor ass.”

Takeshi stuck his tongue out at him and Nalin noticed Shiro downing the drink and putting it down, eyes on the bar. Before he could move, Takeshi put his attention on him, and lifted his hand to ruffle his hair with a grin. “You okay, darling?”

“’m great.” Shiro stood up, Takeshi confused. “Going to get some fresh air.”

“Okay.” Takeshi watched him go. Why was Shiro upset? He did not want anybody to be upset tonight.

“Don’t worry, he’s been off for a while,” Nalin shrugged.

“Baby, you’re the boss, not the entertainer anymore.” James grinned.

“Boss makes sure that people come back.” Takeshi patted his cheek. “I will come back in minute.”

“Takeshi!” He heard a shout and saw Naoko just before he threw himself on his neck. “I am sorry I did not come early, baby, it’s been a while since I was out so I’m trying to catch everybody and you’re so difficult to get” He grinned and patted his cheeks. “You look like a star.”

“Don’t worry about me.” Takeshi hugged him tight. “But James is feeling a little abandoned,” he whispered to his ear and then winked when he let go and Naoko nodded.

**

Kisumi was having the best night of his life. He was at THE Underground. He knew of all the stories about it, and everybody seemed to be nicer here, dressed in couture or the newest outfits from the catwalks, yet nobody beat Takeshi… and him.

Kisumi was getting stopped and asked about his dress, and he loved the look on their faces when he said that Takeshi got it for him. He was not usually vain, but yes, he did shove it in their faces tonight. The jealousy was delicious. He, someone theoretically young and irrelevant, was wearing Takeshi’s designer, and that thanks to Takeshi himself. Come on!

“Can I buy you a drink?” A guy of a pretty smile showed up by him as Kisumi sat on the sofa, when Ren went to the bar to get them drinks, both tired from dancing.

“Sorry, don’t think the boyfriend would like it.” Kisumi grinned.

“The boyfriend does not need to know.”

Kisumi stopped smiling. Huh? “Please leave.”

“Oh, don’t be like that.” He sat by him, and Kisumi moved away, cringing. The guy put his arm on the back of the sofa, behind Kisumi’s back. “We could be having a lot of fun right now.”

“Dude. Get lost.” Kisumi snapped. What the fuck!

His face quickly became angry. “No need to be rude.”

“I’ve asked you nicely first.” Kisumi pulled away when the guy got closer again. He did not even owe him an apology in the first place. Where the heck was Ren?

“And you should be nice, it does not suit such a pretty person to be rude. So, shall I get you a drink?”

Kisumi stopped seeing the pretty smile, the guy was creeping him out.

“You see the door there?” He pointed at the exit in the back of Underground. “How about you fuck off right…” Kisumi did not finish when the guy grabbed him harshly by the wrist.

But before Kisumi could say a word, shocked and scared, his father showed up and grabbed the guy right by the back of his jacket and pulled up, shoving him away from the table.

The guy stumbled and quickly turned around, ready to fight. When he saw a pissed off Isao, he changed his mind.

“It’s just a misunderstanding, mate.” He lifted his hand and quickly put it down seeing his face.

“Mate?” Isao sneered. “You have three seconds to go and never come back, or I will smash your throat.”

“Dad, it’s okay.” Kisumi stood up. He didn’t mind this guy getting his ass whooped, but he did not want the party to end badly.

“Dad?” The guy asked weakly. “Yakuza’s boss’ bodyguard is your dad?” He looked at Kisumi.

“Sorry I did not have time to tell you, I was busy trying to run away from you.” Kisumi could not help the little sarcasm.

The guy lifted his hands defensively. “I am leaving.”

He ran.

“I am going to get him later, don’t worry.” Isao looked at Kisumi. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine.” Kisumi hugged him around his middle. “Thanks, dad.”

“Everything’s okay?” Ren showed up by them, two drinks in his hands. “Sorry, it was so busy there, everybody wants a drink towards the end.”

“Next time you realise that you won’t come back for a while, you go back to get your boyfriend.” Isao snapped at him.

“Dad.” Kisumi growled annoyed. It wasn’t Ren’s fault, it wasn’t like his father kept Takeshi on a leash, so why he expected Ren to turn into a prick.

“What’s going on?” Takeshi showed up, cheeks a little red. He wrapped his arm around Isao’s middle.

“Have you been outside?” Isao stroked his arm, trying to warm him up.

“Yeah, for a moment.” Takeshi cocked his head looking at Kisumi. “So?”

“Some dude got a little pushy, dad kicked him out, though.” He shrugged.

“Who!” Ren tensed, ready to fight.

“He is gone, relax!” Goodness, could they just forget about it!

“I am going to find out who that was and take care of it, okay?” Takeshi said, voice serious. “Have you checked if he is definitely gone?” he asked Isao.

“He rushed out so I guess he is, but I will go have a look to make sure.” Isao squeezed his hip and kissed his temple. “I will be right back.”

“As for you.” Takeshi wrapped his arm around Kisumi when Isao walked away. “There’s a stage waiting.”

Uh. Oh.

**

Kisumi could not stand still when he saw James getting a guitar and standing on his right, Takeshi on his left. Everybody was watching, Yakuza; Nobu, Iwao, Akira, and Kin, as well as Nalin, Ren close to the stage, the youngsters sitting on the bar. Only his dad was gone, but Kisumi did not worry. He saw him before, and he could hear him now.

He relaxed when they finally began.

 

My head is haunting me and my heart feels like a ghost

I need to feel something, cause I’m still so far from home

Cross your heart and hope to die 

Promise me you’ll never leave my side

 

Isao walked around the front of the club, nobody within his sight. He went to the back, smiling hearing the song. Takeshi and Kisumi did not have time for rehearsals, they just agreed on a song and quickly decided which parts they will sing as James played the guitar. He had angels in family, what could he do?

He stopped surprised when he noticed Shiro sitting on a wooden box, smoking, starring at the ground. Why was he here?

 

Show me what I can’t see when the spark in my eyes is gone

You got me on my knees, I’m your one man cult 

Cross my heart and hope to die 

Promise you I’ll never leave your side

 

Shiro noticed him and Isao needed one look at him to know he was very drunk.

“Shouldn’t you be inside, listening to your family?” He asked, taking the cigarette out of his mouth.

Isao cocked an eyebrow. “I am a bodyguard, I have duties.”

“Of course you do.” He threw away the cig, blowing smoke out of his mouth.

“You’re worrying Takeshi, what’s your problem?” Isao leaned against the back of the building.

“None of your business.” Shiro snapped.

 

Cause I’m telling you, you’re all I need 

I promise you you’re all I see 

Cause I’m telling you, you’re all I need

I’ll never leave

 

“Actually anything to do with Takeshi is my business.” Isao’s eyes were like slits when he starred at Shiro who was clearly fighting with himself to stay calm.

“Right,” he snorted. “Forgot you’re a pitch perfect fiancé.”

Isao cocked his head. “Oh, boy, did you hit on him and he said that to you?”

“No, but everybody knows that he thinks you’re more than he deserves.” Shiro clearly had another thought. “But considering he thinks he deserves nothing, you do not exactly have a lot to prove.” The corner of his mouth lifted. “Going behind Takeshi’s back, meeting with your father who tortured, nearly murdered him with cold blood? Impressive.”

 

So you can drag me through Hell

If it meant I could hold your hand

I will follow you cause I’m under your spell 

And you can throw me to the flames

I will follow you, I will follow you

 

Isao froze. “This is none of your business,” he snapped. “If you will tell him…” How the fuck this dickhead found out!

Shiro stood up. “Then what are you going to do?” He walked up to him. “It was already sick that you let the man go after what he did to him, but that you’re still in touch with him?” He cringed. “You’re a twat, and he deserves better.”

Isao laughed. “And who’s better? You?!”

 

Come sink into me and let me breathe you in

I’ll be your gravity, you be my oxygen 

So dig two graves cause when you die

I swear I’ll be leaving by your side

 

“Why not?” Shiro smirked. “I could give him everything. I’ve got everything you do, minus the monsters in family. And with me he would feel safe, because I would never let such pricks live. I’ve got my own firm, money, place, he obviously finds me attractive and likes me. I’m not dependent on him, like you. And you know what’s the best? His life is not filled with horrible memories that I am part of!”

“Look, you piece of shit.” Isao shoved him back. “I can own up my mistakes, and Takeshi and me dealt with a lot of shit over the years that made us strong. You think a relationship is all fucking rainbows and butterflies? It’s not. I’m not perfect, but I would never, ever hurt Takeshi. And he is happy with me, he knows he can count on me, and I would do everything for him.” Isao felt his blood boiling. “So fuck off and leave us alone.”

“Or maybe he just does not know better, huh?” Shiro was so drunk and riling up Isao was so much fun. “You think he would still feel so safe if I would tell him about Satoru?”

“You won’t dare.” Isao’s hands rolled up into fists.

 

So you can drag me through Hell

 If it meant I could hold your hand

 I will follow you cause I’m under your spell

 And you can throw me to the flames

 I will follow you

 So you can drag me through Hell 

If it meant I could hold your hand

 I will follow you cause I’m under your spell 

And you can throw me to the flames

 

Shiro came closer. “Such betrayal… Don’t worry, though, I would be waiting with open arms to make him happy again.”

He was testing Isao’s patience, but Isao took a deep breath in and then chuckled, leaning back relaxed.

“So… “ Isao snorted. “You are an independent, fun, hot dude with money. How perfect. You think Takeshi will break up with me because you can give him that? You have missed this little, tiny fact. Takeshi is a mafia boss who’s a millionaire. He does not need anyone’s money. Because of his position, we are practically all dependant on him. He knows a lot of people in each country, so he met a lot of hot guys, trust me, you’re not the only one. If he looked for someone better looking, he would have kicked my ass ages ago. Do you know why Takeshi is with me, even though I fucked up plenty of times?” Isao sighed. “Because he loves me and knows I love him. Because we always try to do better next time. Because we care. Because of everything we went through and yet remained side by side. When he pushed me away as a boyfriend, I stayed as a bodyguard. I’ve learned everything about him, for example the fact that what he needs the most is protection from himself. Tell me, Shiro, how much do you really know about him, huh? Would you notice the exact moment he stopped eating? Would you hold him for a whole night in your arms so he would not hurt himself? Or so he would not run to the bathroom to make himself sick because after a week you finally managed to make him eat a goddamn dry piece of bread?” Isao looked him straight into the eyes. “What if you would not manage to stop him, would you sit in the hospital for days and nights begging him to wake up and then hold him up when he would have no strength of his own? How many times you would be able to go through this? How would you deal with his horrible self-hatred? What about all those times you would fail to save him?”

Shiro bit his teeth together. “I would learn. You know why?” he mocked his patronising voice. “Because I love him. And I will fight for him until he would see that I am better for him.”

Isao heard enough.

“And I’ve told you what I would do with you if you tried to take him away from me.”

 

I will follow you, I will follow you

 I will follow you, I will follow you 

So you can drag me through Hell

 If it meant I could hold your hand

 I will follow you cause I’m under your spell 

And you can throw me to the flames

 I will follow you, I will follow you


	72. Rollerocaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satoru nodded. “He’s been keeping Takeshi alive for weeks now, so I’d give him some credit.” Besides, he was a Mori.  
> His wife blinked. “What?”  
> He looked at her surprised. “You did not know?”  
> “I did not know what?!” She snapped.  
> Well, shit. It did not even cross his mind that his son did not tell his own mother. Or even Takeshi himself. “Rin poisoned Takeshi, Nalin slowed down the effects, but Takeshi is still getting worse. He wants to try his own chemotherapy on him. Well, he was meant to, today. The accident wasn’t part of the plan.”  
> “God.” She put her hand on her heart, shocked. “Rin?” Her granddaughter’s father?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For EverDarkDreamer, thank you for always being here for me :)

Takeshi put his hands on Kisumi’s cheeks and kissed his forehead. The boy looked so happy, and Sousuke walked out of the kitchen when they started singing and sat by the youngsters on the bar. He smiled at them and nodded to Takeshi. 

It was then when they heard shouting, the room silent for the few seconds after the song ended. People rushed out to see what was going on and Takeshi pushed through them terrified, knowing that Isao was outside.

He did not expect to see Shiro on the floor, Isao over him with one of his knees pressed to his chest, one hand on his arm to keep him down. Shiro’s face was bloody and his hands tight around Isao’s wrist as he tried to stop him.

People were shouting for Isao to leave him yet most did not dare to come close, Nobu and Naoko threw themselves towards them to pull Isao away, but he seemed completely out of it, focused on trying to murder Shiro. Takeshi saw Isao pushing them away and lifting his fist again when Takeshi finally found his voice.

“ISAO!!!”

Isao froze with his fist in the air, Takeshi’s voice like an electric shock, a signal he was conditioned to react to. The boys finally managed to pull him off Shiro who painfully turned on his side and Takeshi kneeled by him, but the man slapped his hand away when he tried to touch his shoulder. Everybody was watching and Takeshi found Nalin quickly with his eyes and nodded to him to help Shiro. He quickly rushed to Isao when Nalin took his place and with Shiro’s mate’s help they helped him up and took him upstairs.

“What. The. Fuck?” Takeshi hissed in Isao’s face, voice low considering all the people around them. Isao refused to look at him and he grabbed his jaw, forcing him. “I asked you something.” A dress never stopped him from being intimidating and he noticed people taking a step back. If he were not so focused on Isao, he would have noticed that people forgot to fear him.

“You want me to tell in front of all of them?” Isao asked very calmly, and Takeshi felt the slap Isao could not give him.

“Let him go.” Takeshi said and the boys did, Nobu quickly patting Isao on the arm. “End of spectacle!” He snapped loud towards the audience, and people started leaving, but they took their time with curiosity winning over. “You, too.” He looked at Nobu and Naoko.

When everybody disappeared, Takeshi focused on Isao. “What happened?”

“Oh, nothing major, just your lover decided he is in love with you and plans to steal you from me.” Isao shrugged like it was no big deal.

Takeshi starred surprised. Shiro has what? He wrapped his arms around himself, feeling the chill of the air getting to him. “I am sorry.”

“You know, when you were in the hospital I’ve told him that I know about what’s happening between the two of you, and considering the situation, I will allow it, but if he will even think about taking you away from me, I will kill him.” Isao said, voice emotionless. “I don’t know what he expected.”

Takeshi swallowed hard.

“You’re always free to go,” Isao’s voice became softer, but he did not look at him. “I would never force you to stay with me. I would never hurt someone you would fall for. I would never hurt the person for falling for you. If both of you would want it, I’d let you go. But you apparently want to be with me and yet I have this guy provoking me and if he wants to fight, then…” He lifted his shoulders and relaxed.

“You nearly…”

“I’ve warned him.” Isao interrupted.

Takeshi unsurely touched his chest, and Isao put his hand over his small ones.

“Look, I know you want him gone, but Shiro is really important to us, and…” Takeshi simply liked him. “If you want to blame someone, blame me.” He looked him in the eyes. “I obviously gave him wrong signals.”

“No.” Isao smiled. “He knows you chose me. This is why he wants to fight,” he sighed. “Nalin told me that everybody falls for you eventually, and I knew Shiro did before he obviously realized it himself,” he snorted. “I can’t blame people for falling for you when I did myself. But he wanted to fight, so he got exactly what he wanted.” Isao did not care that Shiro was drunk. However, he theoretically even respected that he cared enough about Takeshi to face Isao when he found out about him keeping in contact with Satoru. Takeshi needed loyal people in his life.

“That did not look like a fair fight,” Takeshi murmured.

“He lost.” Another shrug.

Takeshi closed his eyes for a moment, and opened them quickly again feeling Isao putting his jacket over his shoulders. “You’re going to freeze.” Takeshi protested.

“You’re the one shaking like a jelly right now.” Isao smiled. “And I need to up the game considering I have a rival now.” He joked.

“Oh, please.” Takeshi rolled his eyes. Isao knew well that he was not going to leave him, he just wanted to hear compliments.

Isao chuckled and kissed his cheek. “Get your cold ass back inside, and check on the twat. I need to cool some more.”

Takeshi left, shaking his head.

**

“Is he okay?” Takeshi quietly walked inside the room, rolling the sleeves of Isao’s blazer up, and put his hand on Nalin’s arm. Shiro was lying down with his eye bandaged. Takeshi could see the purple marks where the bandage did not cover the skin. Isao hit hard.

“He will live.” Nalin stood up. “I will leave you two.” He smiled softly to him, no judgment in his eyes.

“Thanks, darling.” Takeshi could feel his headache coming back. He took double doze and Nalin let him, but it was getting late.

Takeshi sat on the edge and touched Shiro’s shoulder when Nalin walked out. He opened his right, healthy eye, but he looked pretty miserable.

“What were you thinking going against Isao, huh?” Takeshi asked quietly.

“He’s a prick.”

“Yeah, I’ve gathered you two aren’t fond of each other.” He was too tired to fight with either of them. He was sick, okay? And yet in the last few weeks, apart from his usual duties, he tried to put a building back on its legs, decorate it, create a menu, make sure the cooks are good, the alcohol is available, everybody knows what they’re doing, force food down his throat to be sure they know how to cook, drive here and there and back again, and…

“Takeshi.”

“Sorry.” He snapped out of it. “I feel like pulling out the sick card out now.”

Shiro laughed. “Well, that would be a first.”

“So you told Isao you love me to piss him off?” Takeshi asked what he figured out.

Shiro shook his head slightly, wincing a little as he sat up. “It does not matter anyway, does it?”

“Shiro.” Takeshi smiled, cocking his head slightly. “Did you even think this through?”

“Isao already gave me the speech of how high maintenance you are.” He rolled his eyes.

“Oh.” Well. That hurt, even if it was true.

“He did not suggest you’re a pain, he suggested I’m too weak and know too little about you to take care of you.” He did not want to defend the prick, but seeing Takeshi wounded wasn’t his intention.

“’Take care of me.’” Takeshi looked at the wall. “Great.” If Isao thought he was difficult now, how could he even think of him staying by his side when the chemo would start? When everything would start falling into pieces?

Shiro sighed, and decided to tell him in more detail about their conversation. Takeshi seemed a little more convinced, or maybe instead more curious about the reason why Shiro was actually defending Isao.

“You could have used this to make me push him away,” Takeshi murmured. It did not stop him from realizing that he has to do everything to have others feel like everything was fine, even if it was difficult. He did not want their lives to be miserable. He could take it on his arms.

“I want you, but I won’t hurt you to get you.” Shiro shrugged.

Takeshi lifted his hand and touched his hurt cheek. “Shiro, listen to me,” he sighed. “I do not want you to think I do not care. I did not expect anything like this to happen, but I know I brought this on myself, but the thing is…” He lifted his shoulders just a little. “You know of my situation. I have so little time, I feel like you’re only wasting yours.” He smiled sadly. “I will be dead soon. My last weeks will be filled with working my ass off as much as I can with my worsening health. Do you really want to fight to be in Isao’s place? Are you really jealous of him?” Takeshi chuckled. “Do you know how his life is going to look like from now on? He will watch me get the chemo, which will make me feel horrible pain and be sick. I will be dependent on his help all the time, for even basics things like eating and washing myself. Then I will get a little better, but soon after my organs will slowly start to fail, I will be collapsing, losing more and more weight, probably stop eating altogether, be constantly sick, end up in a hospital over and over again…” He felt himself choking up, and stopped to calm down his shaky breath, eyes burning just a little. “The looks will be gone, darling.” He smiled, heart heavy. Today was the end and it seemed like he was the only one who realized it.

“Takeshi.” Shiro chuckled. “I’d take it like a man if you simply told me that you are not interested. Stop trying to make me change my mind.” He wasn’t stupid, Takeshi was just trying to tell him to fuck off in the nicest way possible. Change your mind Shiro! Make it easier for yourself so I don’t have to tell you the truth!

“Come here.” Takeshi extended his arm and waited for Shiro to hug him in the middle so he could put his arms around his shoulders, cheek comfortable on top.

“I did not really think you would leave him.” Shiro stroked his back. “But I would not forgive myself if I would have never tried.”

Takeshi smiled.

“I’m not letting you go though.” Shiro straightened up and Takeshi took his arms off him too. “Just so you know.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“That if you think you can just pretend I do not exist now because ‘awkward’, then you’re wrong.”

Takeshi smiled again. “Thank you.” He told Isao that Shiro was important for business reasons, and he was, but deep inside he knew that he saw him as part of family now. And who knew, if Isao got to like Nalin, the enemy, maybe he would like Shiro one day, too. God knew he needed friends once Takeshi would die.

There was a knock on the door and Isao walked in. “I see you’re alive.” He grabbed the chair and placed it by Takeshi, and sat down with arms across his chest.

“Sorry to disappoint you, bitch.”

“Can you guys stop?” Takeshi rubbed his temple. “I am officially pulling out the sick card.” That’s it. He will come back to pretending later, after the chemo.

“You what?” Isao relaxed in the sit.

“I’m starting chemotherapy tomorrow,” Takeshi stated, getting a good look at both of them. “I am going to feel like hell. From it on, I will need your support, not fights. If you two love me so much, why won’t you just do this one little thing for me, hm?”

Shiro and Isao eyed each other for a while, but seeing Takeshi standing up they both grabbed him by the arms to stop him.

“No fights till you get better.” Isao agreed and Shiro nodded.

Against their whine, he wrapped his arms around the both of them and hugged, kissing the top of their heads. “Beautiful.” He smiled, touching their cheeks for a good measure. “Time to go downstairs and fix your bloody mess.”

He could count on them.

**

A few drinks later to relax the atmosphere, Takeshi did not even know how he ended up grabbing his son to fight with him outside.

Yakuza children were taught to be fantastic fighters, with or without weapons, they had to know how to be fast and swift. Takeshi’s father never praised him, but Takeshi enjoyed fighting and he knew he was doing a good job, winning with everybody, and the tutors making sure he was aware of his talent.

Theoretically it was not a surprise considering his thin, fast, flexible body. Being a gymnast and dancer helped a lot. But maybe that was the reason for his father’s silence.

“You really think you can win with me in that tiny dress and heels, dad?” Sousuke cocked an eyebrow, cheered up after a few drinks.

“Oh, babyboy, you still know so little about your father.” Takeshi grinned, rolling his bamboo sword in his hand. How did they appear at this place was beyond him. “Why won’t you show what you’ve learned… on those practices you were too lazy to go to, huh?”

Sousuke grinned like a kid who was caught skiving, little devilish spark in his eyes and slightly apologetic, yet not really, smile. And then he attacked.

Takeshi fought in a dress before, it did not slow him down. Even those high as fuck bitches and the uneven ground. The only thing that was getting to him was the cold as hell weather.

Sousuke was stronger, so as he expected he was constantly attacking, not caring too much where. Takeshi always used his body to his advantage, so instead of wasting time on throwing hits that would get him nowhere, he missed hits given by the opponent, knowing how exhausting it was for them.

Isao’s tip.

When Sousuke managed to hit, it hurt. When he blocked him, he was shoved back. But the amount of times Sousuke missed him had him breathing hard and slowing down quickly while Takeshi was having fun dancing around him, pissing him off.

Now it was time to attack.

A block. A miss. A hit. Right behind his knees and Sousuke ended up on his ass with Takeshi’s weapon on his throat.

“Win.” Takeshi grinned.

They heard people cheering and Takeshi extended his hand to help Sousuke stand up. Isao winked to him when they faced the audience and walked towards them.

And then Takeshi stumbled and nearly fell flat on his face, Sousuke catching him last second. He screeched and grabbed his son by the shirt, the last thing he wanted was to end up on the cold dirty ground.

“What did you say about them heels?” Sousuke laughed, holding him up.

Takeshi mumbled something angrily and cringed trying to stand back on his foot. He lifted his head to see Isao trying not to laugh and he pointed at the ground.

“Tsk.” Isao walked up to them. “You’re bossy today, aren’t you?”

“Help me,” Takeshi whined.

“Hold your dress so you won’t flash your bum.” Isao said and bent to grab him behind his knees and throw over his shoulder.

Takeshi shrieked and his hands flew back to pull the dress down his bum, as it rolled up, before Isao turned around. At least he did not see laughing faces, only inside the club the boys showed up behind Isao so he could see them. James was cackling and Nalin shook his head.

“Fighting in heels?!”

“But I hurt myself after the fight.” Takeshi felt Isao sliding him down on his lap as he sat on the sofa inside the club.

Nalin smoothly took the thigh high shoe off his leg and checked his ankle. “It’s not broken.” He breathed out in relief. “You just need to wear more comfortable shoes for a while. I will get a bandage, wait a moment.”

Takeshi threw his arm over Isao’s shoulders. “I was damn good, wasn’t I?”

“Too bad everybody will remember you falling on your ass instead, though?” Isao grinned.

“Rude.” Takeshi pouted, but looked up seeing Nobu’s father coming forward. The men came today but mostly stayed on the side chatting happily clearly not having been together for a while.

“That was a beautiful fight.” Nobu’s father smiled and shook hands with him, cheering him up. “And congratulations on the opening, you’ve done a fantastic job.”

“Thank you.” Takeshi wished he could stand, but Isao’s tight grip said enough. Theoretically in ranks he was above everybody, so if anything, they should stand up when he was walking inside the room, but those men were fighting when he was still in nappies and being a boss hardly ever went to his head. “Would not be able to do it without Nalin, though.” He smiled. “Speaking of the devil.” The man showed up with the bandage and Isao gave him some space so he could sit by them and wrap Takeshi’s ankle. Nobu’s father grabbed the chair, just when the other men showed up too.

“You asked?” Iwao’s father put his hands on the back of the chair as Kin’s dad shoved himself by Nobu nearly knocking him off the chair.

“Really?” He glared at him but the man shrugged, happily drunk. “No, I did not yet.”

“Go on then.”

He sighed and faced Takeshi. “It’s not a conversation for today, but I was wondering if we could get together soon to talk about a few things.”

Takeshi quickly looked at Isao and back at them. “I am going to be a little busy in the upcoming weeks, but I promise I will contact you as soon as possible.”

They stared, but he did not budge. He did not want too many people to know about what was happening. Not yet.

Nobu’s father bent forward. “There’s a lot of rumors going on, Takeshi, and I would prefer to hear the true story from you.”

Takeshi doubted anything leaked, because only his boys knew. People were probably talking about the accidents he had and perhaps weight loss, but nothing else. Not yet. They were pretending in order to push him so he would tell.

“You will find out everything in the right time, I promise.” Takeshi smiled.

**

Everybody gathered outside for the last time when they released the fireworks. Takeshi felt Isao’s arms around him keeping him warm as he stood behind him, the boys were all close and it felt like his birthday party. His life was meant to become a paradise then, but it unleashed hell.

It was nice to see people happy, drunk, dancing, watching the fireworks. It was a good party, he was proud of the staff, Nalin, and himself. Everything worked out perfectly, and the Underground was truly back.

“I am so happy,” Takeshi said and felt Isao smiling as he pressed his cheek to his.

He made everybody dance at the end, without their shoes on, laughing together.

**

Isao watched Takeshi saying his goodbyes, everybody wanting to hug him before going. The designer made him promise a visit so he would try his collection. The photographer begged for a photoshoot. The gangsters had ideas and plans they wanted him to consider. The family hugged him tight, even if he refused to tell them his secrets. They seemed worried, and Isao wondered whether he missed something.

He tried to be as positive as possible because Takeshi did not need another negative person. How would it help him if Isao said that he accepts his upcoming death? Not only he did not accept it in the first place, and maybe Takeshi would be calmer because he would not need to stress about him ‘living in denial’, but how could Takeshi fight for his life if nobody would believe in him?

But maybe he pushed for the positivity so much that he blatantly refused to see Takeshi getting worse? Were people seeing more than him?

Isao noticed Shiro trying to leave quickly but Takeshi was just let go by the last person and grabbed him by the arm before he managed to escape.

“Hug.” Takeshi spread his arms and Shiro chuckled and did as told. “Take care, darling, I will message you once I’m back on my legs.”

“Don’t worry about it, I have everything under control. You focus on yourself, okay?”

Shiro seemed worried, too, to Isao.

“Thank you.”

“Okay, everything’s cleaned, doors locked, we are safe to go.” Nalin and Iwao came back from checking everything.

With everybody gone, now only the whole family was gathered in the quiet club. Takeshi smiled, but his chest tightened. Was he meant to say something? There was no reason to end this dramatically, deep inside they all knew that he saw it as the last huge party he was going to make. Maybe last one he was ever going to attend. But it wasn’t necessary about his death, just a ‘goodbye’ party before he was meant to go on a very difficult journey he could possibly never come back from...

Only a few of the invited knew this wasn’t just about the opening.

But he loved that he could have this party here. This place saved his life. If there was one major thing he wanted to do before dying, it was to open it again. He wasn’t the only one who needed this place and will in the future.

He wanted Isao to dance with him one last time, but…

“Thank you, guys.” He smiled when Isao hugged him from behind. “Time to go, yeah?”

**

“You really need to let this foot rest.” Isao helped Takeshi inside the car and sat behind the wheel himself.

“I know,” Takeshi murmured. “Take us home, love.”

“Of course, boss.” Isao said seriously and turned the engine on as they heard other cars roaring at the same time and their lights brightening up the street.

“Oh, please.” Takeshi laughed and pulled Isao by the sleeve towards him so he could kiss him on the lips. “I will make it up to you,” he added teasingly.

They heard a horn.

“We better get home quickly, then.” Isao licked his lips and Takeshi laughed.

Isao could not help but wonder whether months full of horrible incidents changed him. He cared and loved so hard yet on the surface it seemed like he was taking what was going to happen to Takeshi easier than others. They were concerned knowing of the chemo, he just told himself it was going to be okay. But how was it possible? And then it hit him that his eyes saw so many horrors that chemotherapy did not even sound so bad in comparison to what Takeshi went through already and what he survived.

Or maybe he really lived in denial to push through all of it and stay strong for him.

**

It were seconds.

Takeshi yawned stretching in his sit, Isao speeding up and round the hill towards the city. It was too late or maybe too early for any cars on the road and Isao ignored the red lights, not even thinking about stopping.

Takeshi watched the lights on the road and black sky, and with the music turned off he could hear the engine. As they drove into the city the sky was covered with tall bright buildings, and Takeshi closed his eyes feeling Isao’s hand grasping his.

He was close to falling asleep when he felt Isao’s hand suddenly tightening on his. He needed one look at him to know.

“What’s wrong?”

He did not answer. His eyes on the road, Isao lifted Takeshi’s delicate hand and pressed it against his lips. And Takeshi tensed and looked at the road to see two trucks. On both sides of the road, yet both driving towards them.

There was nowhere to turn to run away, buildings on each side, but if they just slowed down and hit the stairs, a lamppost on the path walk… But Isao was not slowing down, just going straight at the trucks and Takeshi did not know why, hand tightening as fear struck his body.

And then Isao suddenly turned the car, Isao’s side towards the trucks.

Takeshi did not have time to scream for him to not do it.

**

Takeshi opened his eyes and there were stars above him. It was quiet, or maybe he just could not hear. He could not move, he could not feel anything, it was actually quite pleasant not being able to after weeks of the pain slowly increasing. And he thought how nice it would be if Isao was right by him, and he promised that before the end, he would lie with him together, just watching the stars.

Unless this was death. And if it was, then maybe it wasn’t so bad to be dead. And thank God Isao was not here.

**

Next time he opened his eyes, the sky was white. Was this the tunnel thing he heard about? Honestly, with the amount of times he was on the verge of death, he called bullshit. He never had memories flying in front of his eyes, he did not see the white light at the end of the tunnel, bla-motherfucking-bla. Why the fuck was it taking so long for him to die anyway? Why was he, in the first place?

He closed his eyes tightly when he suddenly felt horrible pain.

**

“Hello, son.”

Well, he definitely ended up in hell, then. Did it take so long because he was on the edge and finally someone threw him down?

Look, black was his favourite colour, but was he really meant to live, or whatever you call that, like this for eternity? Was this eternity? Just existing? What the fuck?

“You’re way more chatty in your head than in real life.”

Takeshi closed his eyes.

“Nope, still here.”

And opened them with a sigh, turning around. His father on a dark throne, the handsome guy everybody knew, healthy and cocky, as he remembered him. Prick.

“I’m wounded.”

“You know what I am thinking?” Takeshi wasn’t sure whether to be happy or sad about it.

“Well, this is your subconscious.”

Takeshi laughed. “I’d never put you on a throne.”

“And yet here we are.” He was watching him curiously, hand supporting his cheek, and Takeshi noticed the black gloves.

His father would never watch him curiously, especially not in his own mind.

“If it were up to me, I’d be…” Takeshi hummed quietly. “On a gorgeous beach in a hot country with Isao…”

“Who’d be asking you to marry him,” he finished it for him.

“Well if this is my imagination, shouldn’t this be happening right now?” Takeshi cocked his head.

“Maybe your subconscious didn’t want me to see it.”

“Oh, no, I’d love to show you every detail.” Takeshi smirked. He loved being dead, he wasn’t even scared of that prick.

Katsu laughed quietly. “You’re not dead.”

Oh.

Katsu stood up and walked up to him, Takeshi fighting to not take a step back. He was only a little younger than his father when he died.

“Yet you look a lot younger.” Katsu lifted his hands and placed them softly on his cheeks. “I knew you would not age with your doll-ish face, though.”

It really had to be some fucked up part of his brain playing up. Maybe he lost it.

“You did not lose it.”

“You’re nice to me, I can’t be right in my mind.”

“Or maybe you simply wanted your father to show you some heart in your death?”

“You just said I’m not dead.”

“You could be.” Katsu smiled softly.

**

“James, you should go home.” Nalin patted the man on his shoulder who sat watching Takeshi without blinking. “You’re jumping from Naoko’s to their room, what about your sleep?”

“They deserve to have someone here.” James did not want to sleep. He was not going to leave the hospital before they would wake up.

“They have me.”

“You’re the one who did not sleep, either.” James noticed.

“Will you go when the boys come back?” Ren, Kisumi and Sousuke went back home to rest, so he could imagine they would not come back for a while. Isao’s mother could not come, taking care of Sayomi, and informed them that she would stay so the boys could sleep. Rest of the men were trying to save their families, everybody under attack.

“I will think about it.”

Nalin took a chair and sat by him, arm to arm. “They’re going to be okay.”

James bit his teeth together, feeling his eyes burning. “You really think that?” he whispered, voice broken.

“Yes.” Nalin smiled and took his hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

**

“How is Isao?” Satoru asked, his wife looking at him suspiciously as they stood within the trees in the small forest by the hospital. When he found out about the accident, he quickly realized that the only person who could possibly tell him anything, was her.

“Oh, don’t worry, you don’t need to underline that he is the only one you care about.” He knew there were two people in the car. Bastard.

“Just say it, woman!” he snapped.

Her eyes were like slits. “Once he wakes up, they will need to check if he has any feeling in his legs,” she whispered, not letting her voice shake. “He is most likely paralysed.”

Satoru paled and walked away a few steps, back turned towards her. “Takeshi?”

“A little too late to pretend.”

“Woman…” Jesus. Christ.

“Deep wound in his stomach, it will heal. But he hit his head really hard, and they discovered a tumor when they were checking for hematoma. They stopped the bleeding and cut it out, so now we have to wait until he wakes up to see whether there is any damage to his brain.” She hugged herself, but back remaining straight. She hasn’t slept since she received the call. “Isao turned the car so the trucks would hit him. He saved Takeshi’s life.”

“It was his job,” Satoru said quietly and sat on the bench, hands hidden inside the pockets of his coat. “Besides, he’s twice Takeshi’s size, if not more. He’s strong. If they would hit Takeshi he wouldn’t have survived. Isao had a bigger chance. And when he saves Takeshi, he saves himself, too.”

“I thought you will use it to hate even more on Takeshi, but you really put being a bodyguard over absolutely anything, don’t you?” She sat by him. He was also trying to make it seem like Isao did not do it out of love, but, really, she could not care less about what he thought.

“Well, well, are you blaming Takeshi for Isao’s state?” He cocked an eyebrow.

“No!” That was not what she meant. “I’m simply surprised by your response.”

“There’s no point in freaking out just yet. Both are still asleep. Once we will know for sure what’s the damage, then we will worry.”

“Nalin said that he will try everything, that even if our son is…” She could not say it again. “That it’s not the end, maybe he will figure something out.” There was always hope.

Satoru nodded. “He’s been keeping Takeshi alive for weeks now, so I’d give him some credit.” Besides, he was a Mori.

She blinked. “What?”

He looked at her surprised. “You did not know?”

“I did not know what?!” She snapped.

Well, shit. It did not even cross his mind that his son did not tell his own mother. Or even Takeshi himself. “Rin poisoned Takeshi, Nalin slowed down the effects, but Takeshi is still getting worse. He wants to try his own chemotherapy on him. Well, he was meant to, today. The accident wasn’t part of the plan.”

“God.” She put her hand on her heart, shocked. “Rin?” Her granddaughter’s father?

“He wanted to save Haru and the enemy gang told him that all he needs to do is slip drugs in Takeshi’s drink. So he did.” If he would find that little bitch, he would make his life hell. What a soulless traitor.

“Does Sousuke know?” she asked. She knew he was looking for Rin.

“No, only the main men know; Isao, Nobu, Iwao, Kin, Akira, James, and obviously Nalin. None of us.”

“What is the poison doing to him?” Both of her boys were hurt enough, what else was there?

“It’s like cancer, ruins everything.” He breathed out, tired after staying up for the whole night. “I don’t think they can actually stop it.”

“Don’t say that,” she begged. “I can’t lose them both.” She was a strong woman and did not cry often, but seeing the both of them barely alive in the hospital room yesterday broke her heart. They were her children and children were not meant to die before parents.

“Isao is not going to stay alive if Takeshi dies, you’re more likely to keep Takeshi for longer because of the job he would need to fulfill, but considering he is dying anyway…” he shrugged. “Unless he would order Isao to stay alive, but since Isao does not treat him as a boss…”

“Satoru, stop.” She lifted her hand.

“Listen to me, woman.” He caught her hand. “They are both going to be in terrible states, no matter how bad the damage is. Isao will bite his teeth together and try his best, but you can’t expect him to be able to pretend all the time. Say what you want, but his ego is as big as mine, and this will kill him inside. Takeshi will also try to pretend for him, and that idiot will kill himself just to make Isao think he is fine. You need to keep it together for them. There’s a huge war coming, and so far the boss is on the verge of death, and his bodyguard on a wheelchair.”

“I can’t imagine Isao not being able to protect Takeshi,” she whispered.

“He could.”

She looked at him confused again.

“He was threatened and called me to arrange protection for Takeshi if he would die.”

“Isao asked you for help?” She could not believe it.

“How is that surprising?” he scoffed. “I took care of Katsu, Isao learned from me.”

“No, you tortured Takeshi, that is the issue.”

“Well, if he wants to survive, he needs to suck it up.” He rolled his eyes.

She shook her head, feeling foolish that for a moment she thought he changed. “You really have no comprehension of the extent of damage you caused him, do you?”

Satoru begged for patience. “I know exactly what I did to him, and I also know that he needs me. He has no choice.”

She shook her head. “He has a lot of bodyguards.” Even if they were not as good, they were not Satoru. And that was enough.

“I’m the best.”

“I am not letting you come any close to him.” She stood up. “I don’t know what Isao was thinking.” She left, not looking back.

Satoru watched her back for a while and then casted his eyes down when she disappeared from his view. He knew what he has done. He was no fool, and never one to not take the blame he deserved. But he did not understand why they thought that constantly remembering and talking about it was going to change anything for the better. It happened. There was no going back. If anything, their behaviour was making people lose respect for Takeshi. He could remember when Takeshi was feared. Lately, he heard nothing, and it explained why Takeshi was constantly being attacked. Once a boss is perceived as weak, he loses everything. 

Maybe Satoru was a monster. Maybe he understood nothing about the so-called mental health. Maybe he was heartless for thinking that Takeshi was simply weak and should just get over it. In all honesty, he did not hear from Takeshi himself since, so he was yet to find out what **he** actually thought. All he knew was that he cancelled the killers and seemed to be covering the effect of poisoning well. He prayed everybody treating Takeshi like a fragile child was just their overreaction that was frankly ruining his reputation. He was a mafia boss, for God's sake. When Satoru attacked him, he faced a boss, not a crying baby. Have things really changed this much? Was Takeshi the one constantly whining over himself? He surely was not helping himself becoming more of a celebrity than a boss lately. Satoru really did not know what to believe.

But if he knew one thing, it was how to be a fantastic bodyguard, which Takeshi needed and they wanted for him. Trying to push him away was pointless, because his duty has already began. And the only one he was listening to from now on, was Takeshi. He hoped he would not disappoint him.

They could always bond over their huge hatred for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on the war is truly beginning. Prepare for the rollercoaster :)


	73. Katsu and Satoru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are given two choices:  
> Living but in pain, your family saved from grief.  
> Dying but finding peace, your family suffering.  
> What do you choose?

“How are they doing?” Nobu asked, sitting on the edge of Isao’s bed. He was pale and tired, wrinkles on his face that were not there a year ago. So much happened in the last couple of months that they all felt as if a few years have passed instead.

“We’re going to be waking Isao up from the coma soon.” Nalin responded. “He’s healing well.”

“What about Takeshi?” Nobu was not sure which one of them looked worse. His best friends were lying still by each other, machines breathing for them. As horrible as the realization was, seeing Takeshi in this state was not even shocking at this point. This was how much they have failed as a gang lately. But they were used to Isao being an image of strength and health. Now abruptly snatched away from him.

“He is not healing as fast.” Nalin finished bandaging Takeshi’s thin hand.

“But that’s just because of the poison, right?” Nobu wished all troubles would go away now, so they could go back on the yacht and laugh and sunbathe together like during the good old times. It was not even that long ago.

“We don’t know the extent of the damage yet.” Nalin looked at Takeshi’s small face. When would he come back to them?

**

They were driving behind Takeshi and Isao when it happened.

Rest of the gang stopped on the red light, which saved their lives. Isao and Takeshi drove forward, between the buildings of the city, and lost the chance to run away, the trucks driving quickly straight at them.

Every heart stopped that night seeing Yamazaki car suddenly turning and trucks smashing into it, making it roll on the road like it weighted nothing.

With the car upside down, and trucks disappearing from their view as they let them in shock, they finally rushed towards them. They would never forget Sousuke’s and Kisumi’s screams.

First they saw Takeshi. Not wearing a seat belt and with the window broken, half of his body was outside on the ground, legs still stuck inside the car. There was a lot of blood around him, and horrified they noticed that part of the window went through his middle.

“Takeshi, Takeshi, baby, talk to me.” James got to him first, fell on his knees and with shaking hands tried to wipe the blood off his face, his blonde hair now red. He looked like a rag doll thrown on the ground and forgotten, wounded and dirty, the beautiful dress torn in places making a grotesque image. The rain dropping loudly on the ground made the blood spread even faster.

“Do not move him!” Nalin looked horrified, but was already trying to wrap bandages around the wound in his stomach. “Don’t try to take the glass out, don’t move his head, anything.” Takeshi was breathing steadily, they had time. “Just talk to him.” He rushed to the other side of the car, Shiro and Naoko dropping on knees by James. 

“Nalin.” Nobu said weakly.

Isao was still trapped inside the car, barely visible with the side smashed so hard. Nalin’s managed to check his pulse, but it was impossible to help him without the firemen cutting the metal first.

“He’s alive, but I have no access.” They heard the sirens and breathed out in relief. “Keep an eye on him, I will be right back.” He stood up, ready to rush back to Takeshi.

“Dad?”

They looked up and saw Kisumi with Ren behind him quickly wrapping his arms around him to hold him back.

“Kisumi, come on.” Ren tried to pull him away from the scene, not sure whether Isao was alive or not, but he did not want Kisumi to see him. Ren knew how much Kisumi loved Isao, the whole family in fact, and Ren knew how much it hurt to see your father hurt. But Kisumi got out of his grasp and grabbed Nalin by the front of his jacket.

“Please tell me he is okay,” Kisumi cried. “Please!”

“Kisumi, he is alive.” Nalin said quickly, putting his hands on his cheeks. “Stay here by his side and wait for the ambulance, I need to check on Takeshi.” He looked at his son, asking him to remain by Kisumi. He did not need to. Ren was not letting go.

And he ran back to Takeshi, James holding Takeshi’s head still as he sat behind him, even though Takeshi was as still as when Nalin left him. Naoko sat on the side, arm around Sousuke who was shaking, Shiro starring in horror at Takeshi.

The sirens were becoming louder with each second and Nalin checked Takeshi’s pulse again. “Hold on, Takeshi,” he whispered. He could feel him weakening. He did not need to check. But he was not letting him die, no matter what it would take and which secrets would be told.

When the ambulances and firemen arrived, they took Takeshi first. It was easier, no need for the firemen. His legs were scratched but not trapped inside the car, they just had to be careful with the glass and his bleeding head.

They rushed Takeshi to the hospital, and Nalin went with him, knowing he can do more for him than Isao. Luckily it took minutes for Isao to arrive next, and it meant the metal did not dig into him, and that was a huge relief already.

They were taking care of them, side-by-side. And Nalin still could not tell whose heart stopped first that night. Suddenly both Isao and Takeshi went flat line, and for a moment the doctors looked at each other in shock, before rushing to make their hearts beat again.

**

Isao did not spend many days wounded at a hospital, especially for someone who was a bodyguard. Actually, he spent way less time than Takeshi, which was the reason why he heard people saying that Takeshi only keeps him by his side because he loves him, and Isao considered himself a failure.

So he breathed out in relief when he woke up on a hospital bed for once, assuming it meant Takeshi was fine.

“Isao?” He felt his mother’s hand on his cheek.

“Come on, man, enough with the sleeping.” Iwao poked him in the arm, but stopped seeing Nalin’s face.

“Isao, can you hear me?” Nalin was standing opposite to Isao’s mother, on Isao’s right side.

“Yeah.” Oh, man, he felt like shit.

“Do you remember what happened, darling?” His mom stroked his cheek.

Goodness, Mom…

Isao furrowed his eyebrows and finally opened his eyes, the room a little too bright for his liking. And suddenly he remembered the lights of the trucks, and the party, and dancing with Takeshi, holding and kissing his hand as he realized the breaks were not working and he decided to turn the car to save him…

“Where’s Takeshi?” He asked quickly, heart beating faster.

“He’s alive,” Nalin said to calm him. It was the most important information.

“Where is he?” Isao tried to lift himself but winced from pain and stopped. Wait a second…

“He’s still unconscious.” Nalin pressed him to the bed. No need to ruin hours of surgery, Isao. “We are waiting for him to wake up.”

Isao noticed Nalin quickly looking to his right and he moved his head, his mother letting him see. Takeshi was on the bed, head bandaged and face bruised, the machine breathing for him, and he was so still. When Isao turned the car, he wanted to save him. He failed him so many times. And yet when he finally managed to take the impact, he was still in a better condition than him? At least he was awake.

“You saved his life.” Nalin seemed to be reading his mind. “If the truck would have hit him, he would have died on the scene.”

“But he’s still unconscious.”

“Takeshi had a tumour.” Nalin decided to tell him the truth. Isao seemed to be contacting fine. “Plus blood clots from the crash. We had to operate on his brain. It’s poison’s fault, not yours.”

“But he is going to wake up, right?” Isao had to know, and he thought that it was an innocent question that they would answer easily with a ‘yes’, but Nalin was quiet so he grabbed his arm harshly as he panicked. “Tell me!”

**

Takeshi made snow-angels. He was so sick during winter that he could not even enjoy the snow. Here he was wrapped up in warm clothes, the trees covered in white cloud around him, the sky dark blue with stars everywhere, and he was fine. He did not need to fear being sick, because he was dead.

“You’re not dead.” Katsu was lying right by him.

“Why are you here?” Takeshi scoffed.

“I don’t know.” Katsu shrugged.

“This is my paradise, I don’t want you here.”

“This is not your paradise.” Katsu rolled his eyes.

“For being my imagination you seem to know more than me.” Takeshi turned on his side, the snow felt like a pillow.

“It’s complicated.”

Takeshi hummed quietly, eyes closing as he smiled. “I like it here.”

“Of course you do.” He felt Katsu playing with his hair. “But you’re needed there.”

“Everybody’s better without me,” he said quietly.

**

“I think I know why you kicked them all out.” Isao said when Nalin came back, right after ensuring everybody that Isao needs rest and they must go.

Nalin sat on the edge of his bed. “Do you?”

“It’s about my legs, isn’t?” Don’t say it. Until it was not real, he was not freaking out. “You look like shit, by the way.”

“Thanks.” Nalin smiled. He looked younger than them with his soft features, but if Isao noticed anything it was how much they all seemed to have aged over the past few months. “I haven’t slept since the accident.” It was actually true.

“How is that possible?”

“Magic.” He cocked an eyebrow.

Sure. “I can’t feel my legs.” Isao spit it out, swallowing hard right after, feeling his eyes burning.

Nalin breathed out. “Okay, slowly, let me have a look first.” He had to see if Isao at least felt anything in them. He brought a needle, pressed it to one leg, another, to the foot, the toe… Whenever he looked up, Isao shook his head, and Nalin saw him quickly wiping tears that ran down his cheeks.

“I’m fucking paralysed.” Isao said, a shaky breath, looking at the ceiling. “I’m supposed to be a bodyguard, and I could not even save Takeshi, only managed to put myself on a wheelchair.” He laughed desperately.

“Isao…” Nalin remembered one of the main reasons why he never wanted to be an actual doctor. He did not know how to talk with people. At all.

“What the fuck can I do on a wheelchair? I just put another burden on his shoulders, plus Takeshi is going to blame himself, and… You know what, maybe it is for the better, he will finally find himself a bodyguard who can do the fucking job right for once.” He pressed his fingers to his eyes, the horrible feelings making him forget that he was speaking with Nalin who not so long ago was an enemy and he was not sure if now he could call him a friend.

“You saved his life.” Nalin repeated, sitting on the bed by his side. “Isao, look at me.” He did, eyes pink. Nalin never saw him in such state. “If the truck would have hit Takeshi’s side, he would have died. He’s thin, he’s breakable, he’s sick. If the impact paralysed you, it would have killed him, especially considering that there was a tumour in his brain.”

“Was that from the poison?” God, a tumour…

“Most likely. I saw Takeshi in pain before the party, so I planned to check on him before chemo. Obviously he had to suffer from it for a while before that.”

“He did not tell me anything,” he said quietly.

“Of course he did not.” Nalin snorted and looked over at Takeshi. “He never tells when he’s hurt.”

“He was always like that.” Isao smiled sadly. Please keep talking about Takeshi. Please. Don’t let me think of something else. It was confirmed, that was all he needed to know for now.

“I remember how he was trying to pretend everything was fine so many times in the club.” Nalin combed his fingers through his hair and braided it on the side. It was those moments where they could see him lose focus and just daydream instead. “So it’s not that difficult to read him now, but he still manages to hide.”

“You two were quite close, weren’t you?”

“He was the only person I was speaking with at the time. Apart from my father.” Nalin smiled to himself.

“Why Takeshi?”

“Because he was interesting.”

“Interesting?” He thought he would say ‘cute’ considering what age they were at the time.

“Well, imagine, every summer you have to come back to your home, but since your father spends his whole time at the club, and he worries you’re getting too anti-social, he gets this brilliant idea to make you come with him. You refuse and refuse again, because why on earth would you want to spend your day with creepy drunk men, but then one day he tells you that there’s this boy your age working at the club. And I remember thinking, why the hell a boy my age would want to work at this shithole.” He chuckled. “So I thought okay, I am going to find out. Dad was meant to introduce us, but on that day, the boy did not show up. He then did the next day, and I remember seeing dad asking him what happened and he was trying to dis him, and he was pretending to be so happy…” he sighed. “That was the first time I’ve noticed that he has secrets. I’ve watched him a lot since then, maybe that’s why when I lost it, I obsessed over him.” He shrugged. “I saw him that night, how outgoing he is, and thought there’s no way we can be friends.” He laughed and for the first time Isao could relate to him. “I don’t know whether dad asked him to talk to me or he came himself, but considering what a curious creature he is… I tried to push him away, because that was who I was, but deep inside I wanted him to come, he was…”

“Cute.”

Nalin snorted and Isao shrugged. They both knew it. It was the vibe Takeshi was giving since they both could remember, that made you want to know him. Sweet creature.

“I was judged at school, a lot. Rumours surrounding my father plus being anti-social, and you’d think that at such school my intelligence would be looked upon, but I was too weird, too clever for their liking.” He shook his head. His life was a bit of a pain in the ass, but he would not change it for anything. What a fool would wish to be less intelligent? “Takeshi…”

“Did not judge.” Isao smiled, finishing for him. This was why it was so weird when Takeshi tried to judge and force people to be who they were not. Especially himself.

“Exactly. He seemed to be curious of me, he was asking questions about my studies, and he was not ridiculing me even if it took me some time till I trusted that he is not playing me. It was so nice to finally have someone who listened.” Which teenager would not feel good having someone look up to them?

“Did you fell for him?” While it seemed that Takeshi understood Nalin throughout, Isao understood little about their relationship. He stopped doubting Nalin’s intentions a while ago, but he was curious how could they go from playing, attacking and hurting each other to becoming a family. Isao knew which people Takeshi held close to his heart, and Nalin was right at the top of hierarchy with all of them.

“Who does not fall for him?” Nalin joked. “Not in the way you think, though, I loved him like… a brother. I wanted him to be by my side. And he was, a lot, even though there was James and then you, he always found time for me.” He appreciated it.

“You know, he told me some time ago that James wasn’t too happy that I came into the picture, either.”

Nalin grinned. “You took our sunshine away, what did you expect?”

“I did not take him away,” he disagreed.

“To be fair, while we both were jealous, it was nice to see him in love.” Nalin looked over at Takeshi. “Both James and me love Takeshi, and loved him then, but we knew there’s little we could do. Takeshi and me were tied to mafia, James could have grabbed him and run, but how far would they manage with people like Katsu and Satoru behind them? We thought there is nothing that could save him, but then came you and it turned out you’re meant to be his bodyguard. Someone who loved Takeshi within the ranks… it was a small miracle.”

When you love someone you want the best for them, even if it hurts you.

**

Takeshi lay down on the grass high up on the hill, wind and sun touching his cheeks softly. He heard the sound of the ocean and smiled.

“Can’t you imagine being on the beach instead? I want to make a sand-castle.” He heard a whine.

“If this was my imagination, Isao would be here, not you.”

“No.” He felt him lying down by him. “You want them all free of you, of course he cannot be here.”

Takeshi hummed. “Why I don’t want to come back, though?” He missed Isao.

“Partly because of the same reason, partly because you’re afraid.”

“I’m not afraid of death.” Takeshi said quietly. “I tried to kill myself before.”

“I know. But you’re afraid of them watching you die.”

“I don’t like when they’re sad.”

“You’re going to go through hell, it will be difficult to hide.”

Takeshi turned on his side towards him. “Is it going to be that bad?”

“You will suffer a lot.” Katsu turned, too, eyes dark just like his. “It’s going to be a nightmare, you will be pushing yourself, making it worse for yourself in order to make others happy, the pain will be increasing, and sometimes it will be so bad you will scream and cry.”

Takeshi smiled. “You’re not convincing me to come back.”

“Maybe I’m the reasonable part of your brain, then?” Katsu furrowed his eyebrows.

“Considering it’s you, it would be ironic.”

Katsu grinned.

**

“Hello, son.”

Isao blinked his eyes open, the morphine keeping him asleep most of the time. His father was sitting on the side of his bed.

“Hey.”

“How do you feel?”

“Paralysed… with fear.”

Satoru side-eyed him. “I hope it’s the drugs, not you getting a horrible sense of humour.”

“At least I still have one.” What else could he do?

“We will figure out how to get you back on your legs,” said Satoru. “Don’t lose hope yet.”

“Yeah. Everybody said that to me.”

“Including Nalin?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Out of everybody, if he says it, I’d trust he has something on his mind.”

“What are you, suddenly Nalin’s fan? He loves Takeshi, not me.”

“Oh, does he?” Satoru smirked.

“Not like that. Actually, I do not care ‘how’, if it keeps Takeshi alive, then be it.”

Satoru rolled his eyes and then stood up and walked over to Takeshi’s bed, boy still unresponsive. Man, he thought. But it was difficult to see one in him, when he looked so similar to the child he rushed in his arms to the same hospital all those years ago.

Isao received a harder hit, but he already looked way better, at least on the surface, to Takeshi. Bruises here and there, paleness, weight loss, they both suffered from all of it, but maybe the machines surrounding Takeshi created a more gruesome image, maybe being still just for the automatic lifting of his chest, bandage around his head to keep the tube in.

“How is he doing?”

Isao was watching him since he moved. “No improvement,” he said quietly.

“Why?” He came back to him. “The poison?”

“It’s definitely not helping. But Nalin said that it looks like Takeshi is not fighting.”

“He’s unconscious, there isn’t much he can do.” He was first to blame the kid, but come on.

“Apparently he can,” Isao sighed. He so badly wanted him to wake up, watching him while not being able to even touch his hand as he slept so close was killing him.

“You think if he would have a choice, he would not come back?” Satoru asked curiously.

“Could you blame him?” He wished he had a choice, before he woke up without feeling in his legs.

“Considering he is a boss and has family, yes.” It was a bit early to let go, was it not?

“So you blame Katsu?” Isao snorted.

“Yes.” Satoru said without a second thought.

He blinked in shock. “Well, I did not expect that answer.”

“Of course you did not.” He smiled. “You think I kissed the ground he walked on.”

Isao’s face said enough.

“I did not accept Katsu’s decision to stop chemotherapy,” he shrugged. “I did not want him to die.”

“Takeshi is not selfish,” Isao said quietly. “He always chose life at the end, because he knew how upset we would be.”

“Selfish, huh?” Satoru smiled. “Who’s truly selfish in such situations, though? Us, for wanting them to stay so we would be happy even though we know they would be suffering, or them, for choosing death when they can’t take it anymore, and leaving us hurt? Mind you, we’re the healthy ones, in both scenarios.” Satoru knew that he was selfish for hating Katsu’s decision, his son on the other hand seemed to be misunderstanding the basic definition.

“Okay, I am not saying that I am not selfish for wanting him to stay alive no matter what, and I know he is not selfish for considering death, but I truly believe that we can manage to save him, Nalin is a genius, and…” Isao shook his head. “I can’t let him give up. He does not deserve this. And I don’t have your strength to let go.”

“I had no choice.”

He never let go.

Isao looked at his father, who seemed deep in thought remembering the old days as his eyes focused on Takeshi. And maybe for once Isao actually felt sorry for him, apart from the day of the funeral itself, when he and Takeshi saw him standing still and on the surface emotionless. But it was the moment of the coffin being lowered into the deep ground when Satoru let out a shaky breath and blinked back tears that made Isao see humanity in him that he never thought he would. He saw his heart breaking that day.

“Did he… Just one day told you that this is it?” Isao asked. If he feared anything it was Takeshi doing the same to him.

“He wanted to fight, he tried, but nothing was working, so he chose a shorter life that he could actually enjoy, than a longer one in a hospital. I don’t truly blame him, it was reasonable and better for him, but…”

“But maybe it would be worth to fight a little longer.” Isao finished for him.

Satoru nodded. “You never know until you try.” Nothing was working, but maybe, if he just waited a little longer, they’d find a way. He could still remember when he said that to Katsu and he just smiled that mysterious smile and Satoru knew it was over.

“Takeshi agreed to the chemo.” Isao lifted himself a little up on the pillows. “Nalin’s invention, I hope it will be enough.” It had to be, if it meant to be so difficult.

Satoru nodded. If they were going to give Takeshi chemo in this condition, then he did not even see him surviving it in the first place. He looked like death now, and he could hardly remember Katsu ever getting this bad. And that after chemotherapy, not before it.

Satoru did not blame Katsu for the choices he made regarding himself. He blamed him for the choices he made regarding Satoru.

“Do you really think I am selfish for making him stay?” Isao asked quietly, and Satoru felt for a moment like a father again, having his own child ask him questions he did not know answers to himself.

“At this point, not really, he’s only starting to fight,” he said sincerely. He hardly knew what Takeshi was going through, though. “But I think in time I will see what fighting too long does to a person, and I will finally understand and accept Katsu’s choice to let go.”

**

“Now you have long hair?” Katsu cocked his head as Takeshi braided it happily on the side.

“Uh-huh, just like Nalin. My hair always fell out before I managed to make it so long.” He wasn’t sure if he actually liked the look though.

“You need to go back, they miss you.”

“I like it here.”

“Why do you really not want to go back?” Katsu sat behind him on the grass and Takeshi felt him grasping his braid and undoing it, fingers combing through his hair. They both had delicate hands.

It felt nice.

“I don’t know.” It was a weird place, sometimes he felt like it was real, sometimes he felt like it was a dream. Did he have to worry about others in this place?

“You’re forgetting about them, aren’t you?”

Did he? Maybe. It was often like nobody existed.

“I did not at the beginning.” Now it felt like he was farther and farther away every minute.

“The longer you’re here, the easier it will be to stay.” Katsu’s touch had him close his eyes as he relaxed from it. The wind was so warm and the sun made his cheek blush.

“I like it here,” he repeated. There was no pain, no trouble, no tears, no hate, he was not hurting anyone, and even his dad liked him in this place.

“Would you like to stay?” Katsu asked quietly.

Takeshi cocked his head, deep in thought.

**

“Hey.” Shiro closed the door after himself, body tense.

Isao looked at him, not sure what to say. He expected a smirk on his lips, boy if Shiro could not shine right now.

“How is he?” Shiro asked unsurely. The bruise Isao gave him was barely visible.

“Still asleep.” It was getting too long now, he knew, Nalin was starting to be nervous and he saw him sometimes coming at a very late hour when he thought everybody was deep asleep, and watch Takeshi in silence while stroking his hand. Thinking and thinking more, or maybe praying, Isao was not sure. James was here most of the time, too, switching between Naoko and Takeshi, face pale and tired.

Isao watched Shiro walking up to Takeshi for the first time since the accident. He knew that Shiro was there on the scene, and he knew how badly he was taking Takeshi getting hurt, so it did not surprise him that he stayed away for a while.

“Maybe you will make him wake up,” Isao murmured, and he thought it would sound like he was jealous, but at this point all he wanted was for Takeshi to wake up, and he could not care how or for who.

“He looks too hurt to wake up,” Shiro said quietly.

“He’s healing really slowly.”

“Nalin told me that he is being a chicken shit.” He smiled and Isao could tell that he wanted to touch Takeshi, but kept his hands to himself. “He was afraid that night, you know?” He looked at Isao who nodded. “But at the same time, he still wanted to do so many things for all of you.” Takeshi did not agree to start chemo for himself, but for them, so he would have more time to work.

Isao furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t tell you exactly.” It was confidential, after all. “But since Takeshi found out about the poisoning, he’s tried to make everything perfect for every single one of you, especially Sousuke so he could take over without a problem. He wanted to end this war before dying.”

Isao shook his head. “Only him.”

Shiro smiled. “He would not give up yet. It has to be something else.”

**

The grass tickled Takeshi’s cheek as he woke up from his sleep. He looked up to his side, blinking tiredly, and saw the sun setting. He lifted his hand to shield himself a little, and saw a ring on his finger.

“Who is it from?”

“I don’t know, dad,” he whispered, not wanting to disturb the silence.

Katsu was lying close to him on his side. Takeshi turned his head towards him and his father touched his cheek, thumb stroking it softly.

“You’re running out of time.”

Takeshi did not understand and he closed his eyes again. “I like it here.”

Katsu shook his head.

**

Isao opened his eyes when he heard a warning sign from a machine. It was dark and quiet inside the room, but he noticed a person moving suddenly, and his eyes finally got used to the dark and he saw Nalin searching for something in one of the drawers.

“Nalin?”

“Press the alarm on your bed.” He said quickly and Isao finally realized that it was Takeshi’s monitor flashing in warning. He did as told as quickly as possible, trying to move up to see Takeshi better. Isao did not know what was going on, something was off, Nalin was panicking, and then…

Then the line went flat on the screen.

“Takeshi?” Isao shouted, and for the first time it really hit him what being unable to move your legs meant, and it hurt when he tried to sit up and he could not, body not working, and he bit his teeth together trying to not scream out in frustration.

“What’s going on?” The doctor and two nurses rushed in, and Isao could only watch them trying to help Takeshi. He never saw Nalin so horrified, hands pressing against Takeshi’s chest, the doctor adding more drugs to the IV, everybody talking medical jargon he barely understood.

Takeshi remained unresponsive, Nalin shouted at the nurse, and when they brought the defibrillator in, they pulled the blankets off his chest and pressed the paddles to his chest. Nalin was not giving up, doing everything, switching between his hands and paddles, shouting at them to give Takeshi more drugs, and Isao froze when he saw the doctor and nurses pulling away, watching the monitor and Nalin.

“Nalin…” The doctor said quietly and Isao shook his head, knowing what was happening.

“Doc, don’t give up, don’t…” Isao begged him, not believing in what he was seeing. This could not be the end, Takeshi could not give up, Isao just wanted to stand up and walk over to him, hold his hand, shake him, anything that would help. “Takeshi, please!” Maybe it was his fault, he was not by his side so Takeshi thought he did not care and gave up, what if it was all because of him…

“Nalin.” The doctor repeated and tried to grasp Nalin’s arm but he pushed him away and Isao never felt so much appreciation for the man before.

“Nalin, don’t give up, I am begging you!” If he could, he would have pushed the doctor away himself.

Please. Takeshi.

**

“What is this?” Takeshi asked quietly, his father sitting behind him with his arm thrown over his shoulder, keeping him close.

“You. Dying.”

“Who are they?” He felt weak.

“Nalin, your other half, and Isao, your fiancé and soulmate.” He pointed at them.

“Is he okay?” Why was he on the hospital bed, too? Takeshi leaned against his chest, sleepy in his arms.

“No, he is hurt and needs your help or he won’t get better.” Katsu put his chin on his shoulder. “You would break them all in pieces if you would leave them now.”

“Do they want me back?” Takeshi asked. He felt like he cared about them, but he was not too sure if those people were real.

Katsu grasped his chin and made him look into his eyes. “They love you. They need you. But you’re still here because deep inside you know what a nightmare awaits you and the sane part of your brain would be a fool to make you think of coming back.” He smiled sadly. “Are you ready to suffer for longer just for them?” His touch was soft on Takeshi’s cheek. “You never know, maybe there are still days worth living ahead of you.”

“What about you?”

“I will stay by your side.”

**

“Please, don’t do this to me.” Nalin choked up. He could not care less about the tears running down his cheeks as he pressed his hands against Takeshi’s chest again and again. He could not lose him. He was not ready. He was meant to try to heal him. He did not have a chance! Takeshi promised him!

The sound of flat line was ringing in his ears, Isao’s begging, the doctor telling him to stop, and he did not give up, he could not give up.

And then there was one beep, and another, and the doctor grabbed Nalin by the arms so he finally looked up and saw the heart beating again, first unsteady, finally to a soothing rhythm. Nalin felt himself weakening in knees and the doctor held him up, quickly telling the nurse to bring a chair.

“Relax.” The doctor kneeled by him after he helped him sit on it, hand on his shoulder as Nalin hugged himself. “He’s back.”

Nalin’s head hung low with the hair that escaped the braid covering his face, he was shaking and breathing erratically, and it took him a few minutes till he calmed.

“When was the last time you slept?” The doctor asked when Nalin wiped tears off his face, black bruises underneath his eyes.

He shrugged.

“Go home, you need to rest.”

Nalin shook his head. “No.”

“I promise I will stay by his side tonight.”

“And let him give up as quickly as you wanted just now?” Nalin snapped.

He smiled softly, not insulted. “Over an hour? It’s a miracle you revived him after that long.”

It took an hour? Nalin closed his eyes, feeling drained.

“Okay, I will bring you a pillow and blankets and you will sleep on the sofa here, at least, okay?” He asked and Nalin nodded.

“Are you okay?” The doctor quickly walked up to Isao before leaving.

Isao just nodded, silent.

**

“I will come back in an hour, if you won’t be asleep, I’m kicking you out.” The doctor put the pillow and blanket on the sofa placed opposite to the bed and pointed at it, as Nalin still sat frozen on the chair. But he nodded, so he left them, shaking his head.

Isao watched Nalin standing up and he pulled the blanket a little higher over Takeshi’s chest and touched his hand for a moment, eyes on his face. Then he moved and lay down on the sofa after taking his shoes off, and curled up.

“Thank you,” Isao whispered.

Nalin smiled, eyes closed. “I did not do it for you.”

“It does not matter.”

**

“Come on.” Satoru put his arm behind Isao’s back. “Use your hands to lift yourself.”

Isao bit his teeth together, arms shaking underneath him. How ridiculous life was, he thought, one day you’re able to knock out a lover of your fiancé and that so hard that if you only tried a little harder you could kill him, and the next you feel light headed just trying to sit up.

“Good job.” Satoru sat by him, one arm kept behind Isao’s back to help him remain up.

“Really?” Why was his father trying to be nice?

Satoru looked at him. “What am I supposed to say?”

Isao chuckled. “Just be honest, you trying to be a good dad is fucking creepy.”

Satoru shrugged. “I can guess this is not easy for you, so…” Trying to be a good dad, huh.

“I’m fine.”

Satoru sighed. “If you say so. What happened yesterday, then?”

Isao reached towards the button on the side and pushed it, making the top of the bed move up, so he could rest while being up. He stayed flat on his back long enough, but it was starting to hurt badly to be completely up. Satoru let him lean back and turned to face him.

“I thought he was going to die,” Isao said quietly. “He was dead for over an hour, and the doctor gave up.” It felt like a nightmare now, happening in the middle of the night, they all fell asleep after so when he woke up and Nalin was gone, he thought it was just a bad dream.

“So how did he…”

“Nalin.”

“Should have guessed.” Satoru snorted but stopped smiling seeing that Isao was hardly finding this amusing. “Calm down, he is okay now.”

Isao shook his head. “You could not care less, could you?”

“Why does it matter to you? You all care so much for this boy –” Man. Man! “- that whatever I feel towards him hardly makes a difference.”

“It does, because I want you to protect him.” Isao looked him hard in the eyes. “You’re the one who told me how important it is to care…”

“Oh, no, I said to ‘know’, not to ‘care’.” Satoru quickly corrected him. “And I know everything about this boy, and…”

“You don’t know shit.” Isao spit out. “You’re believing in this horrible story you created about him, I don’t know why, maybe fed by that bastard…”

“Isao.” He warned him.

“… just so you would let him continue to hurt Takeshi, to never help the child even if it was your goddamn job…”

“My job was to keep Katsu safe, his son had nothing to do with it.” Satoru snapped. “Katsu did not ‘feed’ me anything, what I think is up to me. And I told you that my feelings do not matter here, that in case of Takeshi needing my protection, I would protect him like my life depended on it, and that a life I truly care about, so I will. But you must stop attacking me.”

They both looked to the side hearing the doors opening and saw Isao’s mother, who shook her head at the two of them. “And I was wondering why Takeshi is not waking up,” she said quietly.

“What?” Satoru asked angrily.

“I will make sure to talk about how much I hate you over your hospital bed, one day, when you will be barely alive.”

“Oh, please, now he hears what we say?” He shook his head but she ignored him, not wanting to even look at him. She kissed Isao’s forehead and walked over to Takeshi to do the same to him.

“I’ve heard what happened yesterday.” She stroked his cheek, voice painful as she looked at his bruised, thin face. “Remind me to buy Nalin some beautiful flowers.”

Isao chuckled. “He disappeared in the morning, I am not sure where.”

“Home.”

Isao jumped when Nalin showed up, clearly refreshed, even if face still tired.

“Boys…” Isao’s mother spoke up and they looked at her.

“What’s wrong, mom?” Isao asked.

“Takeshi.”

Nalin moved towards her alarmed, but she quickly added that she saw Takeshi move, and worry turned into hope, Nalin quickly checking on him.

“Is he waking up?” Isao asked. “Is he?”

Nalin felt like there was a change, and he waited and waited, and finally saw Takeshi’s eyes opening just a little. He smiled and touched his hand.

“Takeshi?” he asked quietly.

Takeshi blinked and looked around slowly. He did not seem to know where he is, or who they are, but Nalin did not panic. He was asleep for a while, plus had a difficult surgery on his brain. But Nalin did not believe that they had caused any damage.

“I am going to take the tube out, okay?” Nalin did it as softly as possible, Takeshi choking, throat dry. He was weak, too weak, and now Nalin have started worrying. They gave him time, waiting patiently, and Takeshi finally looked at them more awake, and noticed Satoru.

With everybody focusing so suddenly on Takeshi, with weeks where they could get used to Satoru being with them, they forgot that Takeshi did not have the privilege.

And Takeshi saw Satoru now, and froze visibly, going impossibly paler. Satoru has seen pain in his eyes when he hurt him, but he never saw fear. He wasn’t sure whether now Takeshi feared him, or it was the shock and waking up after a horrible accident getting hurt badly, or maybe confusion because of brain damage and long sleep, but he wasn’t sure how to respond to Takeshi. When Satoru attacked him he went against a mafia boss, no matter what he thought about him holding such position, but now Takeshi looked like a vulnerable child, and Satoru did as him - froze.

“Takeshi, it’s okay…” Nalin said but Takeshi’s mouth shook, eyes wide alarmed, and he tried to move away so quickly that Nalin did not manage to catch him beforehand. Takeshi freaked out and shrieked from pain, Nalin and Isao’s mother grabbing him at once, so he would not hurt himself further. “Shh, shhh, it’s okay.” Nalin touched his cheek, but Takeshi shook his head, trying to say something, but failing, dry throat and overwhelming weakness, eyes stuck panicked on Satoru.

“Dad, you should go out.” Isao said quickly.

Satoru did not hear him. Takeshi looked horrified.

“GET. OUT.” Nalin was usually a very collected, calm person, even if he arranged for people to be murdered. That was what had people scared of him. But now his best friend was hurting himself, traumatised trying to run away from the man who made his life hell, yet that man stood there still. He snapped at Satoru, for a second receiving a death glare in return, but Satoru left right after.

Nalin leaned in and hugged Takeshi tightly, waiting for his shaking body to relax, whispering to him till he calmed down. “Hey, you. Welcome back on planet earth.” He wiped tears off Takeshi’s cheeks.

“Hey,” Takeshi whispered, and he felt as if not fully awake, drifting back and forth from sleep.

“How are you feeling?” Nalin asked, Isao’s mother stroking Takeshi’s hand.

“’m okay.” He just wanted to go back to sleep.

“I know you’re tired, but I need to annoy you for a little bit longer, okay? Try to keep your eyes open.” Nalin smiled softly. “Takeshi.”

It took a moment, but Takeshi focused on him and Nalin breathed out in relief just because of the simple fact that there was no confusion on Takeshi’s face.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Nalin asked.

“My dad,” he murmured.

“What?” Isao wanted to stay quiet seeing Takeshi’s state, but hearing that made his jaw drop. “Katsu is the last thing you remember?”

Takeshi nodded slowly, closing his eyes as he felt strength leaving him quickly. “I wanted to stay, but he told me to come back.”

Isao’s mother smiled. “So this is why you kept us waiting so long?” She asked, Isao starring at her, wanting an explanation. Was he the only one in shock here and not understanding what was going on?

“Do you remember the accident?” That was the last thing that could confirm to Nalin that Takeshi was okay.

Takeshi nodded and Nalin sighed, seeing there was no point in questioning more. But suddenly Takeshi tensed and looked at him in fear. “Where’s Isao?” His voice was like sandpaper.

“Right by you.” Isao smiled unsurely, not knowing what to think about Takeshi not recognizing his voice earlier, and his mother moved out of the way so Takeshi could see him. “Hey, love.”

“Are you okay?” Takeshi tried to lift himself automatically, but Nalin put his hand on his arm, making sure he stayed down.

“I’m fine.” Isao said quickly, not wanting him to worry yet and was glad he did not slip as he saw his hurt face. He was not even the only issue that Takeshi had to find out about, but everybody tried to protect Isao from finding out everything that happened that night for as long as possible, and he was planning to do the same for Takeshi. As always.

Takeshi put his head down, headache making him wince. He was sure his father told him that there was something wrong with Isao, but maybe he only said it to bring him back. Isao seemed fine, thank God. He just hoped he did not hallucinate his father. He did not want him to be just a dream.

“Sleep,” Nalin said softly.

**

“He… what?” Satoru asked shocked.

Isao sighed. “He saw Katsu, said he told him to come back to us. Dad, you really should not be here.” He looked over at Takeshi who slept peacefully, the only reason why his father was not kicked out already.

Isao was surprised, he expected his father to burst out laughing, ridicule, maybe even hate and turn it into yet another reason to hurt Takeshi. But Satoru watched him, waiting for answers. But to what? Isao did not believe that what Takeshi saw was real; he hurt his head, had a tumour, a surgery to fix him, it was normal to be confused. Isao was thanking Nalin for being a medical genius and saving Takeshi’s life, not people from dreams, hallucinations, Gods, or whoever.

“What else did he say?”

“Nothing.” Isao shook his head. “Why do you care?”

Satoru suddenly snapped out of it and Isao cocked his eyebrow when he shrugged his shoulders. A bit too late, dad…

“Have you told him yet?”

“Shush.” Isao quickly looked to his left to see if Takeshi was definitely still asleep.

“What are you going to do, pretend you do not feel like coming over to him when he is bed bound and you should not be at this point if you were fine?”

Isao bit his teeth together. “It is really not your problem, is it?”

He shrugged and then saw Takeshi moving and opening his eyes, before Isao noticed. He could not run, and he was not going to make an idiot out of himself. Takeshi’s and his eyes locked and the boy froze, black coals on him.

“Dad, get out.” Isao snapped.

Satoru chuckled. “Or what you’re going to do?”

Isao felt his blood boiling as his father smiled with irony. He learned a long time ago to get angry, not upset, when his father showed lack of sympathy. 

“He needs to get used to me as soon as possible anyway, son.” Satoru stood up and Isao grabbed his arm. “And in order to do so, he needs to understand why.”

“Stop. Leave him alone.” Not yet. Just don’t tell him yet.

“It’s okay.” They heard Takeshi’s quiet voice and Satoru smiled satisfied, pushed Isao away, and made his way towards Takeshi who was clearly fighting with himself to not move away.

“We need to talk.” Satoru sat on the edge of Takeshi’s bed, ignoring his body tensing. “Or in other words. Stay down and listen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Let me know :)


	74. He is safe with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He does not hate you. He dedicated his life to me, and lost me at quite a young age, and he isolated himself since, the grief only deepening and thoughts worsening. You felt on your own skin what it does to a person…"

Satoru sat by Takeshi’s side, noticing him tensing but not moving an inch. He walked over with the intent to tell him all without care, but stopped seeing his eyes. It made him angry to see the kid vulnerable, silently screaming how he could not escape him even if he only lifted a hand.

He attacked him when he was strong.

Was he really the reason Takeshi lost the child?

Nalin has done a fantastic job healing Takeshi, only one bruise still visible on his cheek. It was going to be a reminder for Satoru for the rest of his life.

“Isao was threatened by the gang, so he called me to arrange protection for you in case something would happen to him.” Satoru said to Takeshi, and the disbelief on his small face nearly made him laugh. “They tried to kill the both of you that night. Isao turned the car and took most of the impact on himself, which…”

“Father, stop.” Isao tried but remained ignored.

“… Paralysed him.”

“What?” Takeshi whispered.

“He is paralysed from the waist down.” Satoru explained. It could have been worse, really. And Satoru was not the one to always look on the bright side, but this was not the end of the world. But it was the end of Isao’s bodyguard career, and ironically, he never wanted to be a bodyguard in the first place, so that should not bother him, should it? “During the night the gang also set fire to your men’s houses, apart from your son’s.”

Takeshi bit his teeth together, fearing the worst. Who else was hurt? Has anybody died?

“Most of the women and children were on holiday or at the Underground so nothing happened to them. But Naoko’s wife stayed home with the two sons who came back home for a break and they did not manage to escape.”

Takeshi focused on breathing slowly, trying not to panic and show emotions. He had to remain calm and be the boss he fought to be. There was no time for tears anymore. The gang was winning against them and it was time to come back to his old ways as quickly as possible. He was not liked then, but he was successful.

“Where’s Naoko?” Takeshi asked, voice hoarse.

“He rushed home when they all found out, like everybody else, but it was too late, the house was burning, no firemen dared to go inside and did not let him either. Naoko suffered from a heart attack and he is still in the hospital and they’re watching him carefully, worrying about his mental health.” He stopped for a moment. “The wives are safe far away from Japan, they wanted to take kids with them, but obviously Sousuke’s boys stayed and from what I am aware he is actually trying to do something instead of just crying after his traitor of a boyfriend. Unfortunately he still wastes time looking for him, though.”

“Are you done, father?” Isao asked, hatred filling his heart. When Isao was a child, he liked finding the smallest reasons to excuse his father’s hurtful behaviour. He never wanted to say that his father was a bad human being. It was Katsu who was cruel to his child, not stopping himself from anything. Satoru was just cold. Even as an adult Isao could not simply accept the evilness, and when Satoru attacked Takeshi he kept on asking why. The simplest answer did not make sense.

It was barely months ago when Takeshi was hit and his reaction was to rage and grab a knife with intent to strike back. Isao stopped him.

Isao was not strong enough to fight against his own father, but Takeshi was. And he took the strength away that day and regretted it ever since.

And yet when needing protection for Takeshi, Isao called his own father. What was he thinking?

“I am, son.” Satoru smiled, knowing exactly what was going through his head. But he saw the determination on Takeshi’s face, and it was everything he needed. “I am no fool, I know this is not going to be easy.” He focused on Takeshi and leaned a little closer. “But we can make it work.”

Takeshi starred straight into his eyes and after a moment lifted his hand for Satoru to shake. Satoru nodded and shook it, the hold strong around Takeshi’s thin hand. The deal was sealed.

**

“Please, talk to me.” Isao said quietly when Satoru left.

“I know you had good intentions.” Takeshi whispered, turning on his side away from Isao. He did not blame him. Isao just chose the ‘best’ option, without considering feelings. And it was the way it had to be now, he let himself forget who he really was for too long. When he acted like a boss, none of his men were getting hurt.

Naoko lost his whole family.

“I knew they would attack quickly, I did not have time to train anybody.” Isao explained. “I know my father is horrible, but I also knew that the moment he would become your bodyguard, he would do everything to protect you. And that was all I cared about then.”

“I know.” Takeshi said, eyes closing tiredly. His head hurt.

He heard someone walking in, but did not have the strength to turn around.

“Is everything okay?”

It was Nalin.

“My father just told Takeshi everything.” Isao informed him, voice bland.

“What was your father doing here?” Nalin asked, voice low, and Takeshi heard the threat.

“I’ve made a deal with him, he will be the bodyguard now.” Takeshi said, before Isao could answer. He did not want them to blame Isao.

Isao swallowed hard. Right. He just stopped being one. He won’t ever again be able to protect Takeshi.

“You have done what?” They heard a snap, and Takeshi turned hearing James. “Have you lost your mind?” James quickly walked over to him, not sparring a look at Isao.

“James, listen to me.” Takeshi said quietly, lifting himself a little up on the pillow. James was hanging over him. “Satoru is the best bodyguard. That’s it.”

“He tortured you!”

“James, a little bit quieter, please.” Nalin sighed and grabbed a chair to sit between Isao and Takeshi.

“I know what he has done, trust me.” Takeshi smiled weakly. “But he will protect me now.” He knew his voice betrayed his true feelings.

James starred at him like he was seeing him for the first time and then his eyes brightened with realization and he slowly faced Isao. “Was this your idea, Mister Fiancé?”

“Yes.” Isao said simply. He did not blame James for the hatred burning in his eyes right now when he was looking at Isao. He deserved it and knowing that Takeshi ensured himself of all his men being more loyal to Isao than him, he was glad that Takeshi had someone who firmly and clearly stood on Takeshi’s side instead.

James was visibly stopping himself from exploding. He bit his teeth together, jaw locked, and closed his eyes for a moment. When he looked at Takeshi again, there was just worry.

“You do not have to do this.” James said quietly.

“I know.” Takeshi smiled and reached for his hands, placed on top of his bed by his hips, as if he had strength to run so James would manage to catch him. “But this is a good decision.”

“You’re doing it for him.” James said, straightening up. “You would do anything, wouldn’t you?” The realization hit him and he shook his head, frightened. “Satoru made your life hell. And you are a fool to think that suddenly he will protect you. He might keep you safe from others, but what about himself? You are throwing yourself in your torturer’s arms because your boyfriend told you to and it is sick.”

“James…”

He did not waste time, moving away, knowing that if Takeshi has made a decision, then he was not going to turn back. Not if he was doing it for Isao. James could remember the days when Katsu and Satoru were in power and what was happening to Takeshi then. Isao should have remembered too. Not to mention what Satoru did to Takeshi barely months ago. He never doubted Isao’s love for Takeshi more.

James seemed to be leaving when he suddenly turned towards the other bed and Nalin grabbed him when he was already leaning over Isao, close enough for their noses to touch.

“You will pay for this.” He sneered and even when Isao heard of his cannibalism, he always saw Takeshi and James turning it into a joke, sometimes making them doubt if it really was true.

Today for the first time he saw thirst for blood in James’ eyes, and he believed him.

James pushed Nalin away and left.

**

“You need to rest.” Nalin pressed Takeshi to the bed, seeing him trying to lift himself to go to Isao.

“I am sorry.” Takeshi whispered to Isao, closing his eyes. He did not have the strength to fight against Nalin, headache increasing, and he winced from pain as he covered his eyes.

“He is just saying what everybody is thinking.” Isao shrugged. He felt like shit. But it was not Takeshi’s fault and he worried seeing him in pain.

“I don’t think that.” Takeshi said quietly and heard the door opening.

Shiro walked in and stopped, all eyes on him.

“I always know when to come…” he murmured to himself, and lifted his finger. “I will… go… come back later.” He stuttered and turned, but before he could leave, Takeshi stopped him.

“Wait.” His voice was weak and Shiro turned back, unsurely walking up to Takeshi. “Your office. And apartment.” Satoru did not say anything about Shiro.

Nalin noticed Shiro quickly eyeing him, and sighed. “He knows everything.”

Shiro sat on the other side of Takeshi’s bed. “Well, yeah, there’s not much left.”

“I am sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Shiro shook his head. Of course it was a horrifying sight to see, and he felt his heart dropping when he thought of everything he owned burning. He was living in a hotel now, pushing all cases for later dates as he lost many documents. But most of the things he once owned he could buy again. He had the money. Even most of his pictures were online so he could access them whenever. It was not the end of the world. “Everybody knows what belonging to mafia means.”

“I have promised to you that they would not touch you.”

“That was at the beginning.” Shiro finally gave up trying to stop himself, and reached for Takeshi’s hand, grasping it tightly, away from curious eyes. “They knew I have stopped working for them since you went on their ship, I expected something to happen.”

“It was always their hobby to burn everything we owned.” Nalin murmured, voice pained. “We should be happy that not more of us died. And, Takeshi, your mansion was not harmed so your family and the gang moved there temporarily.”

“Have you?” Takeshi asked Shiro.

“Oh, God, no,” he chuckled, terrified.

“I want you to move to my mansion.”

Shiro did not need to look up to see Isao’s burning eyes. “No,” he repeated.

“We know exactly who they are trying to kill, so we need to keep together to be safer.” Could someone listen to him for a second? He felt as if hot blood was flooding his brain.

“We do not need to live together.” Shiro disagreed and growled when Takeshi snapped his hand out of his grasp.

“Go, then.”

Shiro rolled his eyes and ignored him. “I have prepared the paperwork for Naoko as obviously he is not feeling well enough to take care of funerals and such. I’ve done as much as I could, but he needs to sign those documents. I spoke with James so he will try to speak to him some time soon.” He did not really need to do those stuff, but since he worked for the boss of Yakuza, Takeshi would have ordered him to do it anyway. Well, plus he was meant to think before Takeshi.

Takeshi pressed his fingers to his eyes. He was so sorry. Maybe it was his fault, gathering the whole gang in one place during such times, leaving families vulnerable. Naoko, his friend, was going to hate him. He meant no harm, but he would not blame him.

“Takeshi, you need to rest.” Nalin’s delicate hands grasped his and pulled them away from his face. “I will give you morphine, and you need to go to sleep.”

Takeshi did not fight, he had no strength left, and deep inside he was thankful. He looked over at Isao who was watching him, and smiled weakly to him, Isao returning a smile.

He had to find a way to save them. Isao risked his life for his, even though he knew that Takeshi had little time left. It did not matter to him, all that did was his life. Even if he could save just one day. The boys lost their homes, nearly their families. Naoko lost everything. He promised Shiro that he would not be harmed. The fact that Sousuke and his little daughter were not hurt could have been just a miracle or part of the game.

He knew they did not blame him, and they all knew what they were signing up for when becoming part of Yakuza. But he loved them, and as he drifted away in his sleep, he promised to them silently that he would fix it all.

**

“So you have decided to trust Satoru.”

Takeshi turned around and noticed his father sitting on the throne where he saw him for the first time. But this time Takeshi walked up to him and squeezed himself by him, throne suddenly growing wider to accompany them both.

He pulled his knees up and hugged them with his arms. “I would not call it trust.”

“Sacrifice?”

“Isao sacrificed himself. I am just trying to be wise.”

“It was a wise decision.” Katsu smiled and slid down the throne to sit more comfortably. “He will keep you safe.”

“He will protect me from the enemies. But he won’t be able to protect me from myself, and I fear that he will make me kill myself.” Takeshi said sincerely.

“He is not going to hurt you.” Katsu said quietly and stroked his back. “You two are both strong personalities so you will clash. But he is used to that, trust me.” The corner of his lips lifted. “I know it is not easy, and he does not really deserve it, but give him a chance. Get to know him.”

“I doubt he will let me.” Takeshi chuckled. “He hates me so much.” There was no such thing as horrifying fear in this place and it was calming to be able to talk about Satoru this way.

Katsu bent a little forward to level with him. “He does not hate you. He dedicated his life to me, and lost me at quite a young age, and he isolated himself since, the grief only deepening and thoughts worsening. You felt on your own skin what it does to a person…” He looked down. “Please, do not think I am excusing his actions and he does not either.”

“It is good to know that he is not a soulless monster.” Takeshi shrugged. He was forgetful when it came to his family, but even he would not let people excuse what Satoru did to him. Maybe he would forget if it were only the bruises on his body, because he would use the argument of at least making it right with Nalin as a result, as dumb as it sounded. But the words… it was the words that hurt even worse and engraved in his mind.

“I think by providing him with this job you gave him the sense of purpose he lost all those years ago.” Katsu reached for Takeshi’s hair and played with the short strands reaching his neck. “I want you to meet the man who was my bodyguard. Not the empty shell.”

“I want him to help me save Isao first.” Takeshi looked up, only darkness above him. There was nothing but them and a throne here.

He closed his eyes when he felt Katsu’s lips against his ear. “Ask him. He will know.”

**

“This is surely an interesting beginning.” Satoru leaned against a tall wall of the building where the plane belonging to Takeshi was held.

Takeshi closed the door of the car after himself. After meeting with his father he contacted Satoru knowing he will either find the answer or the man will ridicule him for the rest of his life.

But when he messaged him “do you know how to help Isao?” the answer was a simple “yes”.

So he arranged the meeting with the man and without anybody knowing, in the dark of the night, he left the hospital. Before he even had a chance to talk with Isao, tell him how much he appreciates what he has done for him, and how he will do everything to find a way to save him. He feared that they would stop him, so he had to go before they even got an idea that he might know how to help Isao.

“Have you told anyone?” Takeshi asked.

“No, as you requested. Although I am not sure I understand.”

Takeshi looked at him questioningly.

Satoru explained. “I have told you that I heard Nalin mentioning the man to Nobu, and I know who he was speaking about so I can show you the way. What I do not understand is why you are keeping it a secret and going so soon after a brain surgery.” Satoru did not believe in giving in when you were sick, but he was also rational. Takeshi was unwell. He told him how exhausting the journey would be and yet he still decided to go? If he went later, he would maximize the chances of them actually succeeding.

“They would try to stop me.” Takeshi answered simply. “I left Isao a letter which he will read in the morning when it will be too late to get in our way.”

“You think you have enough strength for this?”

“I know how to keep myself awake.” Takeshi smiled with slight irony. Of course he was not well enough. He only just woke up from a coma. He was sick. It was so early to leave the hospital that even his family has not imagined that he would think of leaving. And this was exactly why he did it.

Satoru turned when he heard loud steps echoing in the empty building as the plane was being prepared outside for the journey. A man wearing pilot’s uniform, gold stripes around his sleeves walked straight to Takeshi and bowed with respect. “Everything’s ready, boss.”

Takeshi smiled.

**

He wanted to lie down and curl up from pain he was feeling as the pressure increased and made his brain feel like a balloon ready to pop. But he pressed his forehead to the cold window instead, and waited for the plane to stop flying upward, not daring to show any more weakness in front of Satoru.

Takeshi blinked his eyes open when he felt a cold glass being put in his hand. Satoru sat by him and Takeshi looked at the whiskey, eyeing it a little unsurely.

“It’s just alcohol.” Satoru smirked seeing the lack of trust and made himself more comfortable. “It will help.”

Normally he would not drink, Nalin not letting him unless he could change his medicine, like for the Underground party. But the headache was increasing and he gulped it down with one swift move.

He was asleep within minutes, Satoru swiftly catching the glass as his grip loosened.

**

Satoru sighed to himself when the kid turned in his sleep and pressed his cheek to his arm. He could laugh at him tomorrow and make sure the pale face would turn red from embarrassment, but if he was anything like his father, he would firmly disagree that anything like this happened without a blink.

Satoru was never careful about the things he said, his honesty giving him many enemies, and causing a lot of fights with Katsu, but something about Takeshi made him unsure.

He and Katsu clicked so easily, he felt as if he knew him for years on their first meeting. It made their relationship so easy. He did not know Takeshi, and usually he would not care, just expect him to deal with how Satoru was. But the more Takeshi tried to seem strong, the more he seemed unstable to him, and Satoru feared that he was going to break down.

And he had absolutely no idea how to deal with that, so he had to keep his mouth shut. For the first time he actually had to care.

**

Takeshi blinked his eyes open. Disoriented he realized he was laying on the sofa in the back of the plane, blanket thrown over him. He tried to move up but pain struck his body and a strong hand held him down.

“Don’t move, you little shit, I knew this was a stupid idea.” Takeshi heard an angry voice.

He looked at Satoru, feeling himself burning up. It was light outside.

“It’s just… the pills…” Takeshi cringed when Satoru tried to stop him again, anxiety kicking in. It was easier to pretend that Satoru was not stressing him out when he felt well.

It was getting more and more difficult to wake up in the morning, but he never felt this sick before.

Through fogged view, breathing becoming heavier, he saw Satoru walking to his bag and searching through it. He brought the small box to him with a glass of water and with shaking hands Takeshi put the pills in his mouth and swallowed them, not feeling Satoru’s hands holding him up.

Then he put his head back on the pillow, not seeing Satoru catching the glass which he thought he was putting on the small coffee table, and felt the temperature dropping, breathing becoming easy again. He was strong enough to not flinch when he felt Satoru’s hand on his forehead, but not strong enough to get up and show him he was fine and not pathetic like Satoru thought.

“Don’t stand up.” Satoru read his mind. “There’s still a few hours left.”

“I’m fine.” He just did not sound it, so to prove it once he could he slowly lifted himself into a sitting position and leaned against the back of the sit holding the blanket tightly around himself.

“From what Isao told me, it did not sound like you get this ill without the medicine.” Satoru furrowed his eyebrows in suspicion.

“I’m meant to be getting worse.” It was probably a mix of it and everything that happened lately. At least the drugs still worked nevertheless. It’s been awhile since he was not stuck to IV, so he did not have a chance to see that he had worsened this badly.

“Do you have enough for the journey?”

“Yes, of course.” Takeshi tightened the black shawl around his head, knowing it loosened up in his sleep. He already felt much better.

Satoru did not say anything, he stood up and moved to the front of the plane.

**

Satoru watched Takeshi saying goodbye to the pilot and they made their way to the British man standing by a black Range Rover waiting for them. It was a sunny day in England, but windy. Takeshi disappeared in the bathroom before they landed and came back looking like a healthy person, so Satoru did not know what he did, but it clearly worked.

“Long time no see.” The man with grey short beard smiled and shook hands with Takeshi. Satoru recognized him easily. “Where are we off to, boss?”

“North Devon.” Satoru spoke instead of Takeshi and the driver looked at him, understanding in his eyes. He stopped smiling.

“Of course.”

**

It took a few hours to get to the famous twin villages, driving till they saw the never-ending sea. A small town on the left, a river and forest on the right, the ocean in front of them, calm as the wind seemed to stop here. They drove right and parked, silent throughout the whole journey.

Takeshi threw the medium bag over his shoulder, black made from old leather. He took only the things he needed, trying to keep it as light as possible. He wasn’t exactly used to such trips.

“Feel free to book yourself any hotel, it might take a few days.” Takeshi said to the driver who stepped out of the car as they got ready. It was meant to be a long walk and Takeshi put the big hoodie low on his head to keep himself warm. 

“Be careful.” The man put his hand on his shoulder. “It’s dangerous there.”

“He is safe with me.” Satoru’s strong voice made them silent. “We have to go, the longer we can walk in the light, the better.”

“Thank you.” Takeshi squeezed driver’s arm and walked after Satoru who already made his way towards the river on the side.

A few steps down, over the small bridge, and they could walk on the left side of the river. It wasn’t deep, the big stones visible as the water hit them and they followed it, the pathway created for park visitors.

The forest was on each side, trees covering the sky leaving enough space for the sun to brighten up the river. The pathway quickly finished and there was only forest in front of them, a sign telling people to not go farther.

Satoru turned and Takeshi stopped, looking up to him, the man taller. Katsu told him to trust Satoru, and he did, accepting the fact that Satoru only have told him that they need to fly to England and go through a long journey on feet to meet a man who will possibly help Isao. He followed him, finding out step by step where they actually need to go. But now they were crossing the path between civilization and one big secret, and he felt slightly unsure.

His phone rang and he ignored it yet again. Soon it would lose signal.

“Are you ready?” Satoru asked.

“I imagine you won’t tell me anything more than you already did?”

“I’ve heard nothing else but Nalin saying that this man could help.”

“I know that but how do you know him?” How come the driver seemed to know?

“Because I walked this path with your father.”

Takeshi was quiet for a moment and then nodded and crossed the path, Satoru walking after him, eyebrow cocked till Takeshi turned to face him, stopping them both.

“Why?”

“I think this journey would be quite boring if I told you everything at once.” Satoru turned him by his arms and pushed onwards. “Go on.”

**

There were so many trees that for a while they saw no sun, there was just scrunching underneath their feet as they stepped on the leaves. It was so dark that Takeshi wondered why Satoru cared whether it would be a morning or night.

Maybe an hour later they saw light and Takeshi rushed there, sick of the dark. He pushed the branch away from his face and stepped further, Satoru catching the back of his hoodie before he could fall. The sudden brightness blinded him and he covered his eyes, bumping into Satoru as he took a step back. And then he uncovered them and smiled, a surprised gasp escaping his mouth.

There were hills covered with green grass, lakes, and ocean farther away. The sky was blue, nothing able to cover it. They were right on the edge, and if not Satoru, Takeshi would fall down painfully.

It was so gorgeous.

“Amazing when you reach places that no human have touched.” Satoru pushed him right and they slowly walked on the edge, breathing in the fresh air.

“Can we go down?”

Satoru smirked. “There’s going to be an easier way in a few minutes. Unless you want to roll down.”

Takeshi grinned. He would not even mind.

It was true, the hill was taking them down smoothly and Takeshi could not help but nearly run towards the end till they reached the bottom he saw at the beginning. And here was the lake and now the hills were around them and he never felt better.

Takeshi kneeled by the lake and touched the crystal clear water with his hands.

“Don’t drink it.” Satoru said. “It’s still a lake. Wait till we get to the river.”

He starred, barely hearing him. And then he focused on his reflection in the water, and his hair was long and thick, face fuller and healthy, and…

Takeshi gasped when he was suddenly pulled up and Satoru turned him so he would face him, hands tight on his arms.

“First story.” He said when Takeshi’s frightened eyes focused on him and he let him go. “This place messes up with your head.” Satoru poked his temple. “You need to concentrate.”

“I don’t mind such manipulation,” Takeshi murmured, rubbing his temple.

“You should.” Satoru bent a little towards him. “Because if you will let it get to you so easily, next it will show you very different things, when it will be too late for you to understand that they are not real.”

Takeshi shuddered and nodded, deciding to stop talking. There was no confidence left in him, being kept in complete dark and Satoru clearly wanted to take his time, surely enjoying his dependence on Satoru.

“Come on.” Satoru pushed him towards the waterfall.

**

It reminded him of the one by Isao’s mother’s house, water falling so quickly down to the ocean. Takeshi looked down, there was no beach, just waves hitting the stones and hills.

“It will be gone in the morning.” Satoru said. “We need to wait for the outflow.”

Takeshi nodded. He was tired, he hardly minded stopping. His mind was flooded with memories from his last visit to England, the suicidal thoughts echoing in his head. The irony of him standing in such place because of Satoru only a few months ago and now being here with him... But here there were no fences.

“Let’s go back down, the wind won’t be so bad there.” They climbed up the hill for nothing, but he did not know whether the water would be gone now or in the morning. Satoru looked at Takeshi who was starring down like he did not hear a word. “Takeshi.”

Ignoring him, he took another step forward and Satoru instantly grabbed him by the arm. “What are you doing?” He pulled him back and shook, Takeshi snapping out of it.

“Huh?”

“What were you trying to do?” Satoru asked, voice angry.

Takeshi blinked. He was not trying to do anything.

“We’re going down.” Satoru tugged him back and they made their way down the hill. It would not be as windy there, they could get the tent ready and have some sleep. He could tell that the kid was barely standing on his legs, and honestly speaking they walked quite far so he was not disappointed. “Sit.”

Takeshi did as told and leaned against the hill covered in grass, as Satoru pulled a package out of his bag. He watched him easily putting the tent up, and then Satoru sat by him and threw branches in front of them, lightening them up. Takeshi had no idea he was gathering them as they walked through the forest.

Moving a little closer to the fire, he put his hands near it realizing how cold he became. Satoru found a few stones by yet another lake and put them by so he could rest two long pieces of wood on them, sausages ready to be grilled.

“Eat something and you can go to sleep.” Satoru looked at him. It wasn’t that cold, especially as they were covered from the wind, but Takeshi was shaking and his lips were blue.

Maybe it was the poison.

“I’m not hungry.”

Satoru furrowed his eyebrows. “You haven’t eaten for the whole day, plus you’re taking those drugs, you need to eat something.”

Takeshi shook his head and Satoru shrugged. “Go on, then.” If Takeshi did not want to eat then he was not going to waste time convincing him as if he was a two year old. He probably felt too tired and sick, and he will eat in the morning instead. Well, he had to, or Satoru did not see him having strength to walk any farther.

Satoru watched him moving to the tent and curling up in a corner without a word, only kicking his shoes off and wrapping hands around himself. That brat did not even get himself a sleeping bag. He sighed and looked up, sky full of stars above him.

Satoru was so hopeful the last time he was here, but now he wanted to throw those stones back to the lake in anger. He sat in this place with Katsu watching those goddamn stars and talking about the future like he was ensured he would save his life. But he was nothing but a fool.

He was meant to save him or die with him, yet he took this journey again, watching over Katsu’s brat instead. He was nothing like his father.

Takeshi closed his eyes. It was funny how you could tell how much someone did not like you without them saying a word. He froze in the corner, trying to not panic about the fact that he was going to sleep in one tent with Satoru. Weather becoming colder, fire dimming, but he could not find the strength to move and grab a blanket, focusing on breathing instead.

It was okay. It was okay. It was okay.

**

The fire burning out completely, Satoru finally moved to the tent. He shook his head seeing the kid shivering asleep, and unzipped his sleeping bag to throw it across his body, leaving himself with nothing.

He lay down and it took him a few seconds to realize how restless Takeshi was, body twitching and tense curling up so much it seemed he wanted to disappear. He was hugging himself and digging nails so hard into his arms, that Satoru could not imagine him waking up rested tomorrow at all.

Satoru could not sleep, whether it was because of Takeshi or memories, he was not sure. But when Takeshi’s nightmares became obvious, he moved a little closer to him and looked at the small face hidden behind scarfs and the hood. Satoru put his hand on his forehead but before he could even feel his temperature, Takeshi opened his eyes quickly and shot up panicked, moving away as quickly as possible.

Satoru took his hand away, shocked. “I just…” Takeshi seemed horrified, eyes wide and disoriented. He was looking around but it was dark and it made him panic even more, and Satoru grabbed him by the arms, not knowing what else to do. “Takeshi, calm down.” He just shook his head and he was so tense, so frightened, trying to escape his grip, but Satoru worried that if he would let him go, Takeshi would accidently hurt himself.

“Please, don’t.” Takeshi choked out, and it was difficult to breath, the walls closing on him, and he wanted to fight back but his bones were stuck in one place.

Seeing Takeshi hyperventilating Satoru was not sure how to react, but he had to think quick and finally did what he hoped would help – he pulled Takeshi outside the tent, and the cold, fresh air, hit their faces. Takeshi choked and Satoru wrapped his arms around him holding him still from behind.

“Breathe.” Satoru said. “Everything is okay.” Jesus fucking Christ what the fuck was he even saying? But it did work on Katsu once, oh that’s how it clicked, he thought, Katsu very rarely had such episodes, but he did all those years ago…

Satoru was not the one causing them, though.

Takeshi was focusing on his breathing, but Satoru could feel how tense he was, and he slowly let him go and sat by, leaving comfortable distance between them. And Takeshi finally relaxed.

Takeshi watched Satoru setting the fire on again as his vision cleared and heart stopped racing. He felt drained and so ashamed, sick feeling in his stomach.

“I am sorry,” he whispered.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I just…” Takeshi shivered and he looked up at the sky full of stars, so difficult to see such view in the city. And then he casted his eyes down and his voice became quieter. “I can’t help it when I am asleep.”

“I would not call it sleep.” Satoru threw a small branch into the fire. “Well, I am quite impressed because I did not even notice that you were stressed.” It only highlighted to him how he had a lot to learn about the kid if he was meant to protect him right.

“You can say a lot about me, but I am a good actor.” Takeshi smiled tiredly.

Satoru snorted. Well, he knew this one. “I would prefer if you would keep me informed, instead of hiding,” his voice was serious. “I’m not Isao, I don’t know you, so you have to talk.”

“I don’t need you to think I’m more pathetic than you already think.”

“You would prefer for me to think you’re a fool?”

“Like you don’t think that already, too?”

Satoru smiled to himself. “Why does it matter to you what I think about you?” Takeshi was the boss, he should not give a damn.

Takeshi blinked and touched the bruise on his cheek, barely visible, eyes on the fire, and with irony thought that maybe, just maybe, because the man tortured him so badly and engraved in his mind the threats that made him feel sick even now, and he worried that he will make him do it again. Nobody said that it was his fault, he did not think that it was, but he did not know what possibly could make Satoru snap again.

Why was it so difficult to understand?

“I won’t lift my hand at you.” Satoru said, and Takeshi quickly put his down. “I promise.” Takeshi nodded, but Satoru knew that he did not believe him. “Go back to the tent before you will freeze.”

“It’s alright, I will sleep outside.” Takeshi was not going to close his eyes with the man so close to him.

“You’re sleeping inside the tent, I will stay outside.” Satoru said. “Go on.”

“You’re not going to sleep outside just because I am an…”

“I will keep the fire on, so I will be as warm as you in the sleeping bag…”

“And without a sleeping bag! You are ridiculous…!” Before Takeshi could finish Satoru grabbed him and pushed inside the tent.

“Goodnight.” Satoru caught a glimpse of Takeshi’s angry eyes before he zipped the front of the tent up.

**

It was probably even warmer by the fire than inside the sleeping bag but he was not keeping the kid outside and staying inside himself. He did not trust him to not do anything stupid and who knew if some idiot would not decide to take a trip here. But usually people did not dare.

He listened to the fire snapping the wood and watched the stars till he heard that Takeshi stopped shuffling around and fell asleep. Finally.

“Are you starting to care about my son?”

Satoru sat up alarmed and froze. Right in front of him, sitting with the biggest grin on his face, was Katsu.

He closed his eyes, realizing he finally lost it. It was the worst time for it, he was meant to help the goddamn kid, but maybe he should have known that coming to this place again was not a good idea.

“Have you finished being dramatic, I don’t have a lot of time.” Katsu rolled his eyes.

Satoru opened his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows. He was still here.

“Takeshi’s thoughts were funnier.” Katsu chuckled and moved a little closer to put his hands on Satoru’s cheeks, smiling feeling the harsh stubble against his fingers. “Who would have thought that you’re going to end up protecting him, huh?”

“You, probably.” Satoru answered, deciding he might as well get on with the hallucination or whatever this was, warm hands making him tense. “I am going to die and kill you in the afterlife if you are the reason my son is paralysed.” If he did it so Satoru would protect Takeshi instead…

“Ah, I do not make things happen.” Katsu cocked his head. “I wish I could. But I have a slight idea what might happen, depending on the choices you will make.”

“That means you know fuck all.”

“Well, sometimes you only have two choices.”

Satoru could not help the smile fighting to show on his face. He lifted his hand and put it over Katsu’s, and turned his head to kiss his wrist, eyes closing. “God, I miss you,” he whispered.

“Not this player’s name, Satoru.”

He opened his eyes and looked into his. “I will keep your brat safe.”

“You won’t.” Katsu let go and put his hands on the ground, leaning so close their lips could touch. “You underestimate him. Don’t.”

And he was gone.

**

Satoru woke up and stretched, sun burning his face. He blinked and surprised noticed the fire dimming, keeping just-cooked eggs warm. He looked to his left and saw the tent unzipped, realizing that it had to be Takeshi who made him breakfast. Well, obviously.

Ignoring the dread running through his body, because how he could not feel him moving and stay asleep, he shot up in search of the brat. But he was right at the top of the hill and Satoru growled and quickly packed and ran up to him.

Takeshi was smiling lying down like a star absorbing the sun. He had an urge to kick him but just covered the sun instead and the boy opened his eyes.

“Communication.” Satoru shook his head.

“I’ve made you breakfast.” Takeshi grinned and Satoru felt like Katsu was still looking at him. Maybe he has not woken up yet. “Did you like it?”

He shoved it in his mouth so quickly that he did not even taste it. “It was great, thanks.”

Takeshi giggled and stood up, and it was enough for Satoru to realize that there was something horrible going on. “Let’s go then.” He made his way towards the beach.

**

Satoru followed, Takeshi knowing where to go only making him more uncomfortable. But he did tell him they have to go through the beach, so that made sense…

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in when instead of taking the logical route, through the pathway on the right side of the hill, Takeshi started climbing up the stony hill on its left side, where the sea was splashing softly against it. Slowly making his way up right after, Takeshi’s moves energetic as if he was healthy and excited, he kept his mouth shut till they reached the top of the hill and Takeshi spread his arms, breathing in the fresh air.

“Stop.” Satoru wanted to sound strong but it came out weak.

Takeshi slowly put his hands down and turned to face him, head cocked. “I am only helping.”

“How?” Satoru nearly took a step back. “This is fucking disturbing.”

“No.” He smiled charmingly and walked up to him to put hands on his cheeks, just like Katsu during the night. Because it was Katsu. God, why was he doing this? “My boy is sick and as much as he would fight to, he would not be able to walk this part of the journey. You’d need to carry him because he would collapse.”

“I will carry him, alright.” Satoru swallowed hard. “Is this what you wanted to hear? Were you testing me? I will protect this boy with my life, I am sorry for what I have done, but don’t… don’t do this to me.” He felt sick.

“I thought you’d like having me back even if for a shortwhile.” Takeshi whispered so close to his lips and Satoru wanted to shoot something, the unfairness making his skin crawl. He was so close, it was Katsu begging to be kissed but this was Takeshi’s body and he felt played in the cruelest way. When Katsu smiled satisfied and slowly pulled away to look into his eyes, Satoru knew he won the game he never signed up for. But he deserved it after what he did to Takeshi. He should have expected a punishment, a test from Katsu.

“He will suffer.” It was Katsu’s voice, but Takeshi’s fingers stroking his cheeks. “He will need you and this will seem like a joke in comparison to what you two will have to go through. And either of you will break without the other. Do you understand?” Satoru felt the sharp nails on his skin.

Satoru nodded with his eyes closed tightly. Yesterday, it was a ghost, wasn’t it? But today there was a body in front of him, he could have grabbed him and hugged him, felt him… but it wasn’t him. Maybe he could have pretended if he kept eyes closed and just listened, but if he touched him, he would know.

He felt wet lips on his cheek and a heard a chuckle so he looked at him against his wish. “Oh, come on, he looks just like me.”

“I’m not kissing your son, fuck off.” Katsu was still a cruel fucker and nothing has changed. The man knew he would not touch Takeshi, but he was testing him nevertheless, and he could have not tried him any harder. And it was a fucked up way of testing considering why he was testing him in the first place.

“That would traumatize him for the rest of his life.”

“Me too.” He could not believe that Katsu doubted him.

Takeshi smiled and for a moment Satoru saw shiny curious eyes again, not maddening darkness.

“Catch me.” One last touch of his soft hand against his cheek, and Satoru caught him when his face went pale and eyes closed, body falling like a puppet let go off its strings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter which you guys hopefully enjoyed as much as I did writing it.  
> Quite a bit of fresh air with development of one relationship and exploration of one that sadly ended a very long time ago... or maybe it never did. I hope you guys are curious about the future. 
> 
> Please comment and leave kudos, if you wish for me to continue publishing. Otherwise soon I will simply start to send chapters privately and stop publishing.


	75. Where one goes the other must follow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He was beating him up until Katsu turned sixteen.”  
> Takeshi cringed. “He stopped because dad became part of the mafia?”  
> Satoru smiled. “No. He stopped because I killed him.”

Satoru caught Takeshi swiftly and slowly lowered them to the ground and patted his cheek waiting for him to wake up. But there was not a single reaction and he started to worry that Katsu hurt him, did something wrong. He could not comprehend how he could take over his son’s body in the first place, but he would not do it if he knew that it would harm the boy, right?

The weather became miserable quickly, and rain soaked them from head to toe, but it was enough for Takeshi’s eyes to blink open. He looked sick and disoriented, and choked on air so Satoru lifted him into a sitting position to help. Takeshi held onto his arms, shaking and not saying anything. Did he know what just happened?

“Can we go?” Takeshi shivered, eyes closed tightly in emotional pain, and Satoru wouldn’t know whether it was tears or rain drops on his face. “Can we just go?” he choked out.

Satoru nodded and pulled him up after himself, Takeshi’s eyes focused on the ground. But they walked towards the forest in silence quickly, as if they were running away from a crime scene.

The weather worsened possibly more and sky lightened up with loud bangs. Once they walked inside the forest, it became slightly easier to see as the trees covered them from the rain, but it became dark quickly.

“There was a small cave somewhere here, we need to stay over night. We’re just going to get lost in the dark and it gets dangerous.” Satoru said and Takeshi jumped after hearing him speak after so long. But he nodded to him, still avoiding his eyes.

It wasn’t long before they have managed to find the cave Satoru could remember. It wasn’t deep, too small even, but they walked inside and in silence watched the trees moving in the wind and splashing rain around more, sky changing from dark blue to white for a few seconds once in a while.

Satoru looked at Takeshi who sat opposite to him and wrapped his arms around himself, more miserable than the weather. They were both cold to the bone, and they could not even gather the wood and set the fire on. Satoru bit the inside of his cheek and moved slowly to sit by Takeshi who tensed visibly but did not shuffle away.

“Did you know?” Satoru asked.

“He informed me.” Takeshi whispered.

“Can he do that whenever he wants?”

Takeshi cringed. “If he takes control without my permission, I know what is happening but I cannot do anything. If I would let him take over, I just… I wouldn’t know what he is doing.” It was fair that only his full trust would make him lose control to full extent, and taking it away from him by force would at least leave him with insight. But in a way it made everything worse. It made him panic.

“He just wanted to make sure I would take good care of you.” Satoru said quietly. “He has a fucked up way of showing it, but he cares.”

Takeshi chuckled, desperation clear. “Yeah. He does.” Maybe he was just a fool thinking his father wasn’t so evil after all. And yet Katsu got what he wanted and ensured him that Satoru won’t hurt him. It helped. God, it helped. But at what cost? Wasn’t there another way?

“We won’t get any fire tonight, so get that wet hoodie off and wrap yourself in the sleeping bag.” There was little they could do. He did not dare to tell him to take all the wet clothes off.

“I’m okay.” Takeshi was not letting him freeze tonight. It was different yesterday.

“I thought your father was a pain in the ass, but you are worse.” Satoru sighed tiredly and stretched his legs out. The cave was so small he touched the opposite wall.

Takeshi smiled, finally, and Satoru felt like he could relax.

“Is this what you told my father to do all those years ago?” Takeshi cocked his eyebrow looking him straight into eyes and Satoru opened his mouth but no word came out. Takeshi chuckled.

“Cheeky shit.” He forgot that Katsu let him see what was going on between them. That prick.

“At least I’m not a hypocrite,” Takeshi murmured to himself, and he was so tired that he did not even fear Satoru anymore, things he found out giving him weird confidence. He wanted to laugh because he was suspicious for so long, and James would piss himself laughing if he told him, but it made him so angry and bitter at the same time. And Satoru did not say anything, and it was worse having him watch him instead of snapping, but he continued. “All those years of you two treating Isao and me horribly because we loved each other. The things you two did to us, because we just wanted to be together.” He’d be raging if he had the strength. “And it turns out you two were together all this time.” He snorted and wrapped his arms tighter around himself.

“Nobody knew,” Satoru said surprisingly calmly and quietly. “To the public eye your father and me were a boss and a bodyguard.”

“Oh, so you two had absolutely no issue with the two of us being in love, it was just the simple fact that we weren’t hiding.” Takeshi shook his head. That was surely also the reason why his father drugged him to end his chances of having children. Their fathers were just misunderstood and meant well.

“How many times has Isao failed to save you because he loves you?” Satoru asked.

Takeshi looked at him shocked. “What are you talking about? He is paralysed because he loves me!”

“He is. Because he has not told you that he was threatened so you could not stop the tragedy from happening.” Satoru did not seem mad, but he surely was not giving up.

“Don’t you dare to put the blame on him.” Takeshi said through his teeth. “He was ready to die to save me.”

Satoru shook his head lightly. “Why are you lying to Isao about some of the missions?”

“Huh?”

“I’ve noticed he’s sometimes not there with you during important meetings.”

Takeshi looked away. “He has his life, too. I don’t want him to be with me all the time.”

“You just provided another reason, but before we get to that, is it not because you do not want him to get harmed?”

Takeshi had no idea how Satoru knew about all of this, but he was starting to see his point and he hated it.

“On the surface, you would think that love only makes it easier for the two of you, because you protect the one you love. If Isao loved you but you would not return his feelings, it would. It did. But the fact that you do, makes it very complicated.”

“So it’s my fault.”

Satoru growled and grabbed his chin so Takeshi would focus on him. “Listen to me. Isao and you from the beginning did not give a shit about anything but how much you two loved each other. We knew the amount of shit you will need to deal with because of how unprofessional you two were. Only when shit happened to you, you have managed to gather yourself together and put your love life on side and look how good it turned out. Then you two came back to each other and now you’re dying, Isao is paralysed, and your men lost their homes.” He knew he went too far when tears filled Takeshi’s eyes. Or maybe he did not, maybe he had to say it to have him finally understand it.

“It turned out so well that I horrified my little son so badly that he lost his memories,” Takeshi whispered, pulling away from his grip. “My family could not stand me and I pushed them all away. I know I am fucking up lately and I need to come back to my old ways. Well, some of them. But don’t talk like everything was perfect then. I would have never got to be the boss of Yakuza without them - they would never stuck by if they did not know the man I was at the beginning.”

“I am talking about finding a middle ground.” Satoru sighed. “No matter what was between Katsu and me, we always stayed professional. He did not hide anything from me to protect me. I did not hide anything from him. We were a team, not two boys desperately trying to keep each other safe from harm in mafia’s world. We accepted our roles. But the two of you… You get harmed and Isao loses it and leaves you because he is upset. He gets harmed and you run away without telling anyone, ready to get yourself killed for him. Do you see the problem?”

“He left because he thought you hurt me because of him. He tried to give you what you wanted so you would leave me alone.” Takeshi did see his point, maybe they were not professional and trying to save each other actually caused more harm than good, but how did that excuse what Katsu and Satoru did to them?

“I know the world has changed, so I do not expect the two of you to hide the way we did, if you do not want this kind of privacy. Your choice even if you two would be safer if you kept it to yourselves. But when at work, which unfortunately is always, you two need to prioritise your titles over your love. And ironically you will see that it actually will work in your favour not against it.”

Takeshi felt his blood boiling and he stood up suddenly. “Imagine if you just said this to us instead of stripping me of the chance to have children and then nearly murdering me.” He spit out and walked out of the cave, ignoring the rain. He was not staying inside with Satoru any longer.

Was Satoru right? Most likely. Maybe they were so fucking unprofessional, but he and Isao tried to separate and it simply did not work out. Even when they were not together, Takeshi did everything to keep him safe.

He stood on the edge, feeling like he was under a waterfall. But it was stupidly refreshing and he could breathe again. The fact was that he knew he was stopping Isao from being as efficient as he could be. But he could not prioritise himself over Isao, it was not in his nature. Takeshi began to think that it was actually his luck that he was meant to die soon, because his upcoming death resolved his issues. Isao could not be his bodyguard now and finally the man was safe from him, and Takeshi was going to die before Isao would be well enough to think about becoming his bodyguard again. If he were meant to survive, Takeshi had no idea whether he would have the heart to tell Isao that he wants Satoru to stay. He loved having Isao by his side, and he knew he was heartbroken not being able to continue, now when they had so little time left anyway, but Isao was going to be safe, and that was most important.

“Are you done sulking? It’s raining.”

Takeshi nearly laughed when he turned and saw Satoru standing unhappy as the rain soaked him to the bone again within seconds.

“Think of the positive. You do not need to play the hero with me.” Satoru put his hands on Takeshi’s shoulders and tugged him back.

“It crossed my mind.” Takeshi said. He did not expect a sorry.

“Good.” Satoru did not seem bothered. “Come on.”

**

“Did my granddad know about dad and you?” Takeshi asked, shivering, as Satoru took the sleeping bag out of his bag and a blanket out of Takeshi’s.

He seemed surprised with the question. “You take that hoodie off, get inside this, and I will tell you.”

Takeshi growled but took it off, and unzipped the sleeping bag to cover himself, and make sure that Satoru can too. He gave him a look but threw the jacket off himself and slipped under adding a blanket to the mix, both of them shaking till their body heat locked underneath it warmed them up.

“For a very short time.” Satoru seriously doubted that Takeshi was capable of distributing heat. “I know Katsu and me were far from perfect, but he… He was a horrible man.”

“Did he hurt dad?” Takeshi asked quietly. It was terrifying how normal it seemed in their family to have the father hurt the child. When he nearly turned into a monster like his father, he began wondering whether something happened to Katsu to make him such a person, too. He stopped when he realised it seemed like he was trying to excuse himself, put the blame on him for his own choices.

Were people born evil or life was creating them?

“He was beating him up until Katsu turned sixteen.”

Takeshi cringed. “He stopped because dad became part of the mafia?”

Satoru smiled. “No. He stopped because I killed him.”

Takeshi blinked. Oh.

“Mind telling the story?” He could not help the curiosity. How come he never found out? Satoru killed his grandfather?

Satoru seemed amused by his reaction. “On your father’s sixteen birthday…”

“Wait, you’ve meant that literally?”

Satoru gave him a look and Takeshi pulled the sleeping bag under his nose.

“I have met your dad a few weeks earlier because my birthday was before his. One of the main things I’ve noticed was that he was very different with me alone or with your grandfather in the same room, but it wasn’t exactly surprising,” he shrugged. The difference was huge, that was the only issue. “His birthday party was massive, everybody was there, so I kept myself on the side.”

Takeshi smiled. Just like Isao.

“He spent most of the evening pushed around so he would make contacts with everyone and his father could show him off as his perfect puppet, so when majority went I stayed thinking I could cheer him up a little.” Satoru bit his lip and Takeshi saw the regret in his eyes. “I told his mother I am stealing him for a walk and she pretty much pushed us both out. We went to the park, we just talked, but like a complete cretin I decided to kiss him at the end.”

“Grandfather saw the two of you?” It was an easy guess. But what did he do to make Satoru kill him?

“Yeah, he went after us.” Satoru was not looking at him, remembering like it happened yesterday. Katsu went pale and shook, squeezing his hands on his jacket and Satoru just starred at his father who did not even need to say anything. “He just grabbed him and they went, and I still regret letting him go that night.”

“You two were young,” Takeshi murmured. What exactly could have Satoru done? Well, apart from what he later did do.

“I did not know how to react, but I knew I can’t just leave. Your dad was horrified and that said enough.” It did not even cross his mind how bad it could actually be. “When I finally got my shit together I ran after them. Walked inside and saw your grandmother on stairs, her face was bruised so she obviously tried to stop them. I flew upstairs and walked inside his office to see Katsu on the floor getting kicked by his father like he was nothing.”

Takeshi watched the hatred burning in his eyes. He knew Satoru did not regret what he did next.

“Your grandfather stopped and turned hearing me, there was not even the slightest shame on his face. Your dad looked at me, choking on his goddamn blood, and I just… I just took the gun out and shot your grandfather in the head.”

“Boy...” Takeshi was too speechless to say anything more.

“I just focused on getting your dad to the hospital, left your grandmother in shock, only when I could finally sit down it got to me what actually happened.”

“Did you regret it?” It did not sound like he did.

“It was really complicated… On one hand, I’ve killed a freaking mafia boss. If not me, he wouldn’t have hurt Katsu in the first place. But it was my fucking job to keep your dad safe no matter what and I did exactly that. Besides, as it later turned out, he was hurting your dad all the time, so if not me, he would have found another reason to lift his hand and I would have ended up doing the same anyway.”

“Were you punished for it?” Takeshi did not have a slightest idea what the reaction would be. Under his rules, Satoru would be congratulated for getting rid of the bastard, but it was different all those years ago. Especially if they found out that Satoru kissed his father – then suddenly abuse would be nothing in comparison, two boys kissing a bigger crime.

“Well, your father took over the business the moment your grandfather died so the decision was up to him.”

Takeshi chuckled. Right. Smart.

“My own father called me and said I did the right thing, which really surprised me,” Satoru added, voice very quiet. He was then in too much of a shock to get what was going on. “Soon after…” He did not finish, and Takeshi closed his eyes.

Satoru’s father was Katsu’s father’s bodyguard.

When Satoru killed him, his bodyguard had to follow.

“I got a phone call from my mother a few moments later.”

“I am sorry.” Takeshi did not know what else to say.

Satoru shrugged, a painful memory he accepted a long time ago. “He made sure I wouldn’t regret it or blame myself. I sometimes think that he knew what was going on and the guilt ate him up too.”

Takeshi nodded, and the thought that none of them seem to learn from their mistakes crossed his mind. And Satoru seemed to know what he was thinking.

“I know I stood by when Katsu was hurting you,” Satoru said.

“You took me to the hospital once, didn’t you?” To be fair, he sometimes wasn’t sure whether that happened or he dreamed it.

“You remember that?” He asked sincerely surprised.

“I don’t remember much, but I thought it was you.”

“I did not know that your father was going to do it. He told me to stay away because he was going to have a talk with you, then we met in the morning and he did not say anything, just carried on with whatever it was that we were meant to do. Came back home in the evening, he went to your room, came back to me and said that you feel unwell.” Satoru sighed. “He got a call later and had to go, but told me to stay which was unusual but I let it go. It was bothering me for a while so I moved my ass and finally went to see you.”

“I don’t remember any of that.” He could remember the hospital, but that was it really.

“You were unconscious, lying on the floor. I’ve rushed you to the hospital but kept thinking that you were just sick, but the doctors said that you were poisoned. I did not throw your father under the bus, but I knew it had to be him, I just did not get why and wanted to believe it was some mistake. He came over when I called him and he had to talk when they said that they don’t know how to help you because they don’t know what he gave you. So he did.” He bit his lip. “All those years, after I let him get hurt that night, I’ve made sure nobody could have lifted a hand at him. But I’ve punched him so hard in the face that night that he needed me to pull him up after.” Of course he could not leave him on the floor, even if that one time he actually had the urge. He knew it was not the end when he saw the stress and worry, instead of the lack of shame he saw in his father’s face. But the blatant stupidity, yet so dangerous, made his skin crawl.

Satoru did not see Takeshi looking at him in shock, he just continued. “The doctors rushed to help you, and I made him explain himself, and he did, he thought it was a good idea to do that because what would we do if Isao would get you pregnant.” He could remember starring at him like at an embarrassment. “The idea and the fact that he just took this shit from fuck knows who and gave it to you… Coward wanted to run away but I made him sit his ass by you.” It was the most he could do. Till this day he could not figure out what was going on through Katsu’s head when he decided to do it, somehow not believing it was only about the possible ‘mistake’. There were lines he did not expect Katsu to cross.

Takeshi massaged his temples, not believing what he was hearing. Sure, he would expect someone who would love him to punch his father in the face when he did that to him, but this was Satoru for God’s sake.

“Thank you,” he said unsurely.

Satoru shook his head. “I stood by for too long… it does not change anything though, a few months ago I definitely erased any good I have ever done.” And the good was just the right thing to do. He was quite surprised with how much he opened up to the kid – maybe it was this place, maybe Katsu, but if this was going to help them work together, and he expected Takeshi to talk, then he had to be fair and open his heart too. Plus he wanted it over with.

Takeshi did not say anything, clearly keeping himself from getting upset over the reminder of what his father did to him. Satoru did not have a story that would make what he did to him easier to accept, but he wanted him to know the truth so they could move on.

It was quiet in the cave and Satoru counted their breaths before he decided to continue. “I was so angry at your dad for not letting me follow him, because I had no idea how to deal with his death. I’ve locked myself away, and spent years just thinking about all the things I could have done differently, what I should or should not have said, maybe I could have prevented his death, and God he probably expected me to get over it in seconds and step up because I always did that with everything else. It was a vicious circle over and over again. And then as you know I finally decided to visit.”

“Was it something I said?” Takeshi asked.

Satoru shook his head. “Look.” He moved to sit opposite to Takeshi. “It was not your fault in the first place, so don’t blame yourself. I was a prick to you for things you had absolutely no control over. I should have never came back considering my mindset, plus it was fucked up luck because that was when you found out about Umiko, we started fighting, things were being said and I did not need much to snap… I’ve lost my fucking mind and got years of anger, pain, hatred, and frustrations out on you.” It sounded like an excuse, but he did not know how to describe what he was doing then differently.

Takeshi was bending his fingers nervously, memories making his skin crawl. He did not want to cry in front of Satoru, but finding out everything was starting to take a tool on him.

“So it was not because of Isao and me?” It was a weak question and his voice fucking broke and tears followed, and he just wanted to slap himself, because Satoru was giving him all those stories and he was only proving that he was too weak to take them. But Satoru growled and against his tough persona touched his cheeks and smoothed the tears off them, making him finally look into his eyes.

“I’ve attacked you because I’ve lost my mind and took out years of built up hatred on you,” Satoru repeated. “I know I’ve done and said horrible things... I can’t take them back, I can only promise you that I will never hurt you again. I am sorry.” In a way seeing Takeshi shocked face when he heard him apologising was a stab, but he expected nothing less. The kid anticipated nothing but pain from him. Knowing the full story did not change the facts - what Katsu and him did. The kid still had a right to order killers to kill him. He still did not know why he called them off. Well, for Isao. Probably.

Takeshi was silent for a few moments but then looked up again. “Will you just give me a chance?” It was the biggest relief to know the true stories and intentions, but away from it he was aware that Satoru simply did not like him. And he did not need to like him, but Takeshi was ready to give him a clean card after learning the truth, even though Satoru did things he would never be able to forget – at the same time, who knew how many stories Satoru got wrong over the years, and maybe getting to actually know Takeshi he would learn to like him, or maybe not – and that was okay. But he wanted him to judge him on who he actually was, not on years of misunderstandings, break-downs, and stories.

“I think I should be asking you for that.” Satoru cocked an eyebrow.

“I gave you a chance when I made the deal with you, whether you wanted it or not,” Takeshi smiled tiredly.

“I will take it.” He had nothing to lose. And the kid deserved him to admit if he was wrong about him. “Now…” He took a look outside where it was getting light. “We need to get some sleep or we won’t have the strength to continue the journey tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Takeshi nodded. He was exhausted.

**

With their heads towards the entrance to the cave, they covered themselves with the blanket and slipping bag, not much distance between them.

“At least the water is not dripping here.” Satoru murmured.

Takeshi nodded with his back turned towards him, shaking visibly. Satoru thought of the time he hid in this cave with Katsu who was shivering so he automatically embraced him and held tight to give him as much warmth as possible. He was so sick then, Takeshi reminding him of him more than ever.

Satoru closed his eyes and let the sleep take over.

**

“I’m quite proud.”

Satoru flinched and opened his eyes. Katsu. Lying on his side and facing him, fixing Takeshi’s shawl around his head. The last time he saw the man being so soft towards him was when Takeshi was a baby.

“What is going on in your head this time?” Satoru asked, vary as he watched his fingers stroking Takeshi’s cheek.

“I am happy you two are fixing your relationship.” Katsu smiled, something sharp in it, and looked up at him, eyes as dark as ever. “Although you have thrown quite a lot on his shoulders.”

“Like it wasn’t what you wanted to happen when you busted us to him.” Satoru snorted.

“It’s hard on him, but I think you needed to get the heavy stuff out of the way to even think about getting on better terms with him.” Takeshi moved uncomfortably and Katsu calmed him down, lips pressed to his temple. “Tomorrow is going to be horrible, keep him safe.”

Was Satoru really seeing concern on his face? Boy.

“You could have taken this on your shoulders,” Satoru reminded him. “You chose to put this on his and leave.”

Katsu smiled. “I’ve done you all a favour, trust me. And you know exactly why. If you don’t, you will find out.”

Satoru was quiet, eyeing Katsu who was focused on his son, stroking his head with a sad expression on his face. “I miss you.” Did Satoru already say that before? He wasn’t sure.

Katsu looked up and showed Satoru to move closer. He did and felt Katsu’s hand on his cheek, not daring to touch him back. Would he feel anything? He did not want to feel nothing, he wanted to believe he was really here. Katsu was such a manipulator, maybe he did not even die? Maybe he fooled them all, and Satoru would be so mad at him for making him think that he died, but he would get over it, and everything would be okay, finally…

“I am always here. Whether you can see me or not.”

“Why you have never showed up before?” Satoru asked. Why here? Why now?

“My son wouldn’t appreciate seeing me any earlier,” he chuckled.

“I would.”

“And I showed up to you as soon as I could.”

Satoru sighed. “You can only if Takeshi is close by, huh?”

Katsu grinned. “Yes. He is the connection you need.”

Satoru shook his head. It meant that after this trip he would never have the chance to see Katsu again. Both of them sleeping at the same time and in the same room? It was never going to happen again.

Katsu saw the disappointment in his face. “Maybe one day he will trust us enough…”

“Oh no.” Satoru stopped him before he finished. “This was horrible…”

“It would not be if you knew it was his idea and he had absolutely nothing against it.” Katsu shrugged. “Gain his trust and he might. You have a lot to pay for.”

Satoru wasn’t sure if he could accept that either way, the thought was making him uncomfortable. Sure, it would be Katsu, but he would still be looking at Takeshi. He wanted Katsu.

“Don’t be picky.”

Satoru chuckled. “There are just some things I won’t be able to say to your son’s face.”

Katsu laughed. “Either you won’t even see my son’s face or you won’t mind, trust me.”

“I think it’s a little… sleazy.” It wasn’t exactly a fitting word, but the possibility made him feel awkward.

“You’re just thinking too deep about it.” Katsu’s shoulders shook as he tried to not laugh. “Way too deep.”

He did not choose to scare Satoru in the morning because he thought that the man was capable of hurting Takeshi in the way he promised him in the moment of horrible anger. He knew he never would, and he knew better than Satoru. But the fact that the thoughts have crossed Satoru’s mind, even if just as a way of threat, because he knew what would horrify Takeshi the most, it was enough to make Satoru overly sensitive. Which was good, whether as a punishment or he could use it to his advantage, making him an even better bodyguard, spotting such the danger in anybody else.

“You should have not taken over his mind.” Satoru said. “He was horrified, shaking…” He could imagine how he would feel if it were done to him, having the control of his body taken away, watching it happen, it made his skin crawl.

“I know.” Katsu agreed. “I had to do it, because you were not getting it.”

Satoru shook his head. They were both usually insensitive idiots, but sometimes Katsu just did not get it. “You can’t even imagine how much I would love to have you by my side, like now, but he would never be comfortable with that and I feel like even if he would do it, it would be for another reason than because he really would not mind…”

“I won’t take over without his permission and knowing for sure that he would not mind.” Katsu promised.

Satoru breathed out in relief and he lay on his back with his eyes closed. He felt warm, familiar lips against his and opened his eyes quickly.

Katsu was gone.

**

“Are you okay?” Takeshi asked weakly, only just taken all the medicine with water Satoru brought him from the nearest river. He was tired of needing to wait for them to kick in, waking up feeling like death. Nalin needed to give him something stronger so he would feel like before.

If it was possible.

“Yes, why?” Satoru asked surprised.

“You seem off.” Takeshi shrugged. Maybe he should not have assumed, what did he know about Satoru anyway?

“Just thinking about the rest of the journey.” Meeting the man. That fucker was not going to make anything easy. He worried how much he would say, what he would say, what he would want… Satoru wanted to break his neck all those years ago and he highly doubted anything changed. It did not matter that now he was with Takeshi about who he theoretically cared less than about Katsu.

Did he?

“I will get that medicine for Isao, I promise.” Takeshi smiled at him and Satoru felt like shit.

“Kid.” He sat opposite to him. The colour was slowly returning to Takeshi’s face. “Let’s make something very clear. This guy is jerk. And I want you to promise me, that you won’t allow him to hurt you to get the medicine for Isao.”

“Hurt me?” Takeshi asked. It seemed he was finally starting to find out what he signed up for.

“He will want you to pay for his services, and he does not want money. This guy has everything but people who he could test his potions on, so I can bet that when he will see you, he will want you as a prize.”

“Why me?” What was special about him?

“I’ve told you that I came here with your father, but I never said why…” Satoru said and Takeshi nodded, remembering that Satoru did not want to finish the story and he did not have the guts to push. “We came here when he was sick and did not want to take chemo anymore.” He felt bitter taste in his mouth.

“You hoped he would find another way to survive.” Takeshi said, guessing quietly.

“I was ensured of it.” Satoru licked his lips. “Theoretically, there was a way, but your father made the decision to… not do it.”

“What?” Takeshi opened his mouth in shock. His father had a chance to survive but he chose against it? What the fuck? Why?

“I don’t think I even understand it exactly myself.” Satoru shook his head. “You have noticed that what is happening now is out of this world, and… It is a lot to do with your heritage and your father’s choice would have an effect on your survival, plus if he would choose to survive then it wouldn’t be so simple and he felt like he would not manage to take what comes with it…” He knew he was not making a lot of sense, but he barely comprehended it himself.

Takeshi was quiet for a moment and then closed his eyes, realising something important. “This is why you hate me so much.” It was so simple. If Satoru believed that his father died so he could survive…

Satoru starred at him in shock. “No, that’s not…” he sighed and stopped. Was it? Maybe deep inside he put the blame on the kid, but he was not going to admit that he could sink this low.

“My father would not die so I could live.” Takeshi stood up, slightly wobbly on his feet. “But he would definitely put some shit on my shoulders instead,” he chuckled. “Let’s find out what it is.”

Satoru wondered whether his son had so little belief in his father, too.

**

The dread was running through his body, the closer they were to their destination. He saw the small house, surprised as he expected a mansion hidden behind forests, hills and rivers. But if something was screwing with his mind, maybe he was seeing what the man intended.

Who was he? Some magician? Did he really reach a point where he started believing that it existed?

Takeshi stood right in front of the wooden doors to the property and felt Satoru’s hand on his shoulder. He looked behind himself.

“Please do not agree to whatever he will throw at you. You’re a boss, you know how to negotiate.”

“I am not leaving Isao paralysed.” Takeshi shook his head.

“Isao is alive. And he can live this way, but he definitely won’t if he will know that you have died so he could walk.” Satoru was starting to get really irritated with their hero attitude for each other.

“I am dying anyway. And at least in this case I would die out of my own choice and get something out of it.” Takeshi patted his hand on his shoulder and moved forward to the door. He took a deep breath in knocked.

Satoru watched him unsurely. The whole point was that maybe the kid did not have to die.

Or at least not forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!!! 
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos <3
> 
>  
> 
>  


	76. The Magician

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I will always jump after you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY EASTER!!!!!

He did not have time to imagine how the man would look like, but a young nice face was the last he expected to see. It could have been a very old, grey man with a long beard, or maybe freakish bald man without a nose…

Okay, maybe he should not judge everything out of this world by Harry Potter standards.

“Good… afternoon.” Takeshi started a little unsure. He was usually good at talking but here he had absolutely no confidence. “I’m…”

“I know who you are.”

Takeshi watched him carefully, and he felt like he was seeing himself in him. They both had a little abnormally dark eyes, similar hair… He sounded older but looked maybe even younger than him.

“And I know you, too.” He smiled cockily looking at Satoru and showed them to go after him.

Takeshi wasn’t right when he guessed that the house was bigger inside. It wasn’t. It seemed warm built with wood, huge fireplace burning inside, lots and lots of books covering the walls.

The cosiness made him miss his home and family.

“Sit down.” The guy ordered them as he took the place by the fireplace.

They unsurely sat on the sofa in front of him, but did not dare to start. The man seemed to know what they have came for, as disturbing as it was.

“Paralysation.” He spoke the horrible word, seemingly deep in thought. “You’re asking for a lot.”

“I will do everything you want.” Takeshi spoke confidently, and did not need to look to see Satoru’s neck snapping to glare angrily at him. Takeshi did not care. He knew he was not professional, clever, whatever. He came here to save Isao, whatever it would take, and the guy would know anyway. There was no point in trying to play games and waste valuable time.

“I know you would… it’s quite touching, your fiancé and you.” The man added a piece of wood to the fire. “If I would be younger, I’d probably give you the potion for free. But I’ve learnt from being too generous to human beings, and I won’t make the same mistake again.” The atmosphere quickly changed to a cold one.

“I am not going to let him do some horrible shit, don’t even think about.” Satoru decided it was time to speak out if Takeshi was not going to. If he had to grab him and take out of here, he would too.

“You haven’t lost your feistiness with age, huh?” The man seemed amused. “It almost seems like a déjà vu.”

“Cut the crap.” Satoru snapped.

Takeshi tried to remain calm. He didn’t know why Satoru was angry before the man even started pissing them off, but he began to worry that he will kick them out.

“I’ve assumed you are the only one who could help,” Takeshi said quietly.

“If I won’t help you, darling, then nobody will,” he responded sincerely. “But I want something back…” And he already knew what it was. “I have created a very useful yet dark potion, and I need to try it out on a human being.”

“I am starting to see how my friend knew of you,” Takeshi murmured.

“Nalin?” He cocked an eyebrow. “I hid that kid away from humans for a while.”

Takeshi did not expect that. “Oh.”

“You know what people did to him.” Takeshi knew what Nalin chose to tell him about his life. “He was safe here and only left when he was strong enough.”

“With an urge to kill me.” Maybe he was safe here, but he left a different person.

“I did not hurt him.” He shook his head. He was not the one who changed him. “Nalin was in a horrible state when I found him and we’ve done everything we could. Some things I could not change.” The man cocked his head, thinking. “He was very vulnerable and you were the only good in his life that was left. He just desperately wanted to keep you. There is a thin line between love and obsession.”

“He’s better now.” So many things have happened in the last few months that he had no time to stop and think about any of them. How far they have come with Nalin was extraordinary.

The man nodded.

“What this potion will do to me?” Takeshi asked.

The man looked at him interested. “I want to take you for a walk first. We need to talk. Alone.”

**

They walked downstairs that night to the cellar made of red bricks. There were shelves at the end filled with books and potions, door on side taking to the man’s private office, a silver table in the middle. Satoru watched Takeshi lying down on the cold thing, face determined as the guy tied his hands and legs down so he could not move. A shawl covered his eyes next and small cables were attached to his temples. The bandage was still covering it.

Three screens were placed on a desk by the opposite wall and the man switched them on, Takeshi’s brainwaves already showing on them.

Satoru watched tense, arms tight around himself and nails dug into skin to stop himself from grabbing the kid and taking him away from this place.

“He agreed and you promised to keep your distance.” The man took the fat syringe in his hand and filled it with the potion. He looked at him. “Do opposite, and I will force you out of here. Trust me. Your muscles won’t stop me.”

Satoru did not say anything. He was going to shove that prick away if he will feel like it.

The poison quickly flew through Takeshi’s veins and the man sat on top of the desk watching both monitors and Takeshi.

The black liquid was responsible for having an effect on the brain of the poisoned. The idea was that it would slowly create nightmares that would only get worse. The man wanted to see if it would work, whether it really would worsen, and Takeshi’s vulnerable brain was only making the process quicker and easier for him. But they did not know whether the dreams would be creations making little sense, or be based on own memories.

Satoru was against it. He was nearly begging Takeshi to not do it, but the kid did not even look at him. He had no idea what the prick told him during their walk to which he was not invited, but it surely has not helped.

They knew when Takeshi lost consciousness, Satoru refused to call it sleep, as his chest slowed down. But it did not take a long time till he started fidgeting and Satoru tensed even more.

A twitch here, a twitch there, the breathing became heavier and he began moving uncomfortably, whines escaping his throat soon after. Tied hands and feet clearly made him itchier and Satoru did not see the anxiety, he could feel it on his own skin.

“You’ve got enough, yet?” Satoru asked the man as calmly as possible.

“Oh, no, we are only beginning.” He did not even look at him, too focused on the screen. “Do you want to see what’s going on inside his mind?”

“No.” Satoru could imagine what he would see.

He dig the nails inside his arms watching Takeshi whining and trying to escape the ties, it quickly changed from a nightmare to something worse, and Satoru noticed tears running down Takeshi’s cheeks as he cried out, trashing so much that the material dug in his wrists and the thin skin got red and quickly began bleeding. Satoru worried even more when he saw the bones ready to bend and snap.

“It’s enough.” Satoru tried again. It was testing him more than anything, he was trained to react, but he could not, even when he was seeing Takeshi right in front of him obviously needing his help.

“It’s interesting.” The man ignored him. “It’s all his memories making him feel like hell, not nightmares, and you and his dear father are in most of them. The potion grouped them from bad to worse, and now we have reached the stage where it starts to show him his worst nightmares as real situations that already have happened to him.”

Satoru’s hands shook as he forced himself to not punch the man in the face, but a snap made him quickly look to his left.

“I will fix that.” The guy said nonchalantly, noticing the broken wrist. Both Takeshi’s hands were bleeding.

“You’ve got what you wanted, let him go! You’re going to break him!”

“It’s just one bone, calm down…” He did not finish when suddenly Satoru grabbed him and smashed against the wall.

“Stop it. Right now.” Satoru sneered in his face, eyes mad. The scarf muffled Takeshi’s scream, but he could still hear the cries and begging for them to stop it, thin body trashing on the cold metal table. It was the mind he worried about more than the body, but he swore to guard every single bone and was sick of breaking that contract.

No agreement was above the bodyguard’s promise to shield.

“Or what?”

“Or I’m going to kill you. STOP IT.” He grabbed him by the throat.

“You can hurt my body, darling, but if there’s one thing you can’t do is kill me.” He grinned and Satoru was not used to people so obviously not fearing him. “Take those dirty hands off me so I can actually do what you want, or I will change my mind and let him die.”

Satoru let him go, teeth bit together to not say something he would regret. The man caught Takeshi’s hand and injected him with something else, Takeshi quickly fell asleep without dreams and Satoru started unwrapping the ties around his legs while the man focused on his hands.

“Take him to the living room, I will bring everything we need.” The magician went to his office without sparring another look at them.

Satoru took a deep breath in to relax and lifted Takeshi carefully. He was light and without a problem Satoru walked upstairs with him. His intuition was telling him to run and maybe he really should. But he could hear the storm outside and see Takeshi’s pale face and hurt hands. If he would keep an eye on him, he was safer in a warm house hidden away from the horrible weather. Outside he would put him in even more danger. The man got what he wanted and Satoru doubted he would try to hurt him.

Satoru laid him down on the sofa and the man came soon after, quickly taking care of Takeshi’s hands. Satoru could not understand how he was able to hurt people this badly and then so delicately heal them like he actually cared about them.

“Maybe you should ask yourself this question.”

Satoru rolled his eyes. He forgot the prick can read his mind.

“Me?”

“Even I started feeling sorry for him when I saw what you did to him. I’d like to think that they were all just empty threats, but…” His fingers were smooth against Takeshi’s skin and Satoru noticed white bruises shining in the yellow light.

“I did not do it to him.” Satoru said quietly.

He hummed, bandaging Takeshi’s hands.

“You’re the last person who can judge me.” Satoru said. “Not after what you did to him.”

“You mean what I said I will and he agreed to.”

Satoru shook his head. Just like he told Isao, he was not going to explain himself to anyone but Takeshi. And he did. The kid accepted what happened and chose him as his bodyguard. That was it.

“Be careful when he will wake up.” The magician stood up. “He might freak out.”

**

It was difficult to keep your eyes open after two nights where you have barely slept yet walked so far and ate so little, now sitting by fire which warmth lulled you to sleep.

Satoru smiled to himself as he rubbed his eyes. It’s been a while since he was a bodyguard, the time stopped for him when Katsu died, but the world hasn’t. He got older and maybe he should have realised that he would not be able to stay awake for as long, react as quickly…

Satoru shook his head. He just had to train himself back into how he was before.

Takeshi slept peacefully on the sofa, covered with fluffy blankets. Satoru watched his now clean off tears face wondering what he will need to deal with tomorrow. Would Takeshi truly believe that he hurt him? How would he explain to him that those things never happened? Dread ran through his body. He only just won a little bit of trust, but would it be enough? Especially if Takeshi thought he just broke it.

The worry tired him out more and within hours, against the fight, he fell asleep.

**

Dark night, huge storm. Takeshi stood on the edge watching from above the ocean waves hitting hills and rocks harshly, as the rain, like a waterfall, soaked him to the bone. The moon was the only light and he was surprised he could see it at all but the wind moved clouds quickly.

God he wished the rain could wash off his memories, he felt dirty, the ugly touch covering every bit of his body, and he ached. He shuddered and toxic taste filled his throat. He swallowed hard and breathed in not wanting to get sick. But the longer he stood here the worse it was getting and he felt weaker. Takeshi looked down at his hands, bandages hanging. He was holding a knife and only now realised how deeply he continued on cutting the broken wrist.

It wasn’t his weapon. It was the one Satoru hurt him with.

He sobbed remembering his face, the man he trusted attacking him so suddenly when he least expected it, tearing his clothes off, touching him, forcing his legs apart…

The knife fell to the ground and he swayed on his feet towards the edge, ocean hitting the hill he was on with more strength as the storm worsened.

Takeshi wanted to die. He could not do this anymore. It was too much.

He choked.

“Don’t do it.” He heard his father’s voice. “Takeshi, don’t…”

He covered his ears and shook his head. “Go away.” Please, he though, you’ve hurt me enough. You told me to trust him, to give him a chance, and I trusted you. He believed both of them. The men that always thought he was nothing, and like a child he jumped back in their arms because they showed him sympathy for just a moment. He paid for his stupidity, he paid so much, and he would gladly pay more.

“TAKESHI, NO!”

He turned and saw Satoru standing far away. He did not see his face well, it was too dark, and his vision was worsening with every second. Takeshi felt his stomach twisting hearing his voice and took a step back when he saw him taking one forward.

He fell.

**

“NO!!!”

Satoru did not think twice before he ran and jumped after him.

Even if he had hours to think about it, he would not have changed his decision. When Katsu jumped, he jumped after him. When Takeshi jumped, he jumped too.

He should not have allowed the magician to touch the kid, not when he knew how vulnerable he was and the nightmares that would surface. And then he fell asleep. He fucking fell asleep.

The water was freezing and he was glad he did not hit the rocks, but he was focused on trying to find Takeshi. But it was dark, so dark, and he spent more time trying to stay above the waves and to not hit the rocks instead. Yet then the sky lightened up and he saw the boy on his left, just a short swim away. He swam and grabbed him, the body of a puppet without strings.

“Don’t die on me. Don’t you fucking die on me. God.” The realisation that there was no escape, no stairs, no lower hill where he could climb up, was more painful than when the ocean smashed them against the rocks. Satoru coughed and he could bet his ribs cracked but his arm stayed tight around Takeshi. He was not letting go.

“It would be useful for you to show up now, Katsu, you fucking prick!” He shouted mad at the whole world.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when the sky became white for a few seconds, the bang so loud it hurt his ears. And then a tree fell and hung from top of the hill, and Satoru laughed, slightly desperate, and quickly swam towards it and started climbing it up with Takeshi thrown over his shoulder. There was no time to waste, he worried that the tree would slip off the hill, fully into the water.

For once he was glad that Takeshi was so thin.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” He hurried up towards the end, feeling it moving down.

Satoru quickly looked up when he felt a hand grabbing him and saw the Magician. He let him pull them up and the tree cracked and slid down, disappearing into the ocean.

It was raining so badly he felt no difference being out of the water and he put Takeshi flat on the grass. He could see his chest moving up and down and he breathed out in relief, but the Magician reached for Takeshi’s arm and Satoru could see how badly it was cut.

“I think that’s yours.” The Magician threw something at him and Satoru took the knife in his hand. It was his and it was wet but from blood.

He looked at Takeshi’s wounded hand again.

Did he really not feel him taking the weapon, too?

The Magician wrapped a bandage tightly around Takeshi’s arm and wiped the water off his own face. “Grab him and let’s get inside, I need to be able to see…”

Satoru did as told and they quickly walked back to the house. He laid Takeshi down on the sofa and took a step back to allow the man to sit by him and unwrap the bandage. Satoru swallowed hard as his eyes moved down from Takeshi’s white face, purple shadows underneath his eyes, grey lips. He looked dead if not his chest moving slowly up and down. His hand was cut so many times that Satoru didn’t see white flesh, just blood.

“He cut through everything.” The man said as he stitched it up, bandage following after. “It will take awhile for him to be able to move it again.”

Satoru shook his head. He fell asleep. He fucking fell asleep.

“Stop crying over yourself. He thinks you’ve raped him.” The guy looked at him harshly. “He could feel it.”

Satoru tensed, teeth bit together. “You’re the one who gave him the fucking poison,” he spit out.

“You should have told me you threatened to rape this boy,” he sneered out.

There was no point in arguing, Satoru knew it was his fault in the first place. He was part of the reason why Takeshi took this so badly.

“Is it not amazing, really, a man like you, so proud of your loyalty and tough persona, so devoted and strong, ready to murder a father of a man you loved because he hurt him, could sink so low you tortured his son, a boy looking so much like him, and you’ve looked into his eyes, the same eyes, and told him you would do things to him that some monsters wouldn’t do to their enemies.”

“It was just empty words.” Satoru felt the rage filling his body.

“You can’t even say it, because they would become real to you.” The man dried Takeshi with a towel, and Satoru did not see the clothes becoming dry on him. “They’re real to him. Rape. Suicide. What else has to happen for you to face what you have done?”

“I know what I have done.” Satoru said, suddenly becoming very calm. He was not letting this situation throw him off, it would not help Takeshi at all. He apologised to Takeshi, the boy trusted him, now everything was ruined but it was not his fault. He did not actually hurt him. He threatened him, he regretted and asked for forgiveness.

“Did you?”

Satoru furrowed his eyebrows.

“Have you actually asked for forgiveness?”

“I have apologised to Takeshi and we moved on.” Satoru shook his head. “We will talk this through, too.”

The man did not say anything, Satoru just saw him sighing softly. He was first to call him out on his actions, but Satoru wondered whether he would apologise to Takeshi for poisoning him, which triggered this horror. Fucking hypocrite.

“He knew what he was signing for, I did not force him.”

Satoru rolled his eyes. He wished he could stop this man’s annoying ability.

They both focused on Takeshi when they saw him moving. Satoru got closer and Takeshi blinked his eyes open. It took him awhile till he focused and they could see him recognising the room.

And then he looked at Satoru and stopped breathing.

“Takeshi…”

He did not say anything, there was just pure panic in his eyes and he shot up lifting himself on his hands, which quickly went weak under him as Takeshi scowled from pain. The Magician tried to grasp his arm but he screeched scared and pushed him away to escape. Satoru quickly moved forward not wanting to let him run away and hurt himself and Takeshi backed away on his unsteady feet towards the corner, horrified as he noticed him and realised he has nowhere to go.

“Please don’t.” Takeshi sobbed, lifting his hands that now were both bleeding again and he shook.

Satoru stood still speechless. Takeshi was like a small child in clothes too big, tears running down his small face. He was just a shadow of the man he heard of and did not want to believe in, and it hit Satoru that he was the reason a boy who could escape Katsu and him, and become a Yakuza boss, now sank to his knees in the corner of a room in front of him and another dangerous man, sobbing with his hands up trying to shield himself, lifted up begging him to not touch him again.

“Takeshi…” Usually he would hate his voice sounding so soft, but it was so insignificant now, and his mind was blank as he starred at him.

What was he meant to do?

“Takeshi.” He repeated again and came forward.

“No, please.” Takeshi sobbed harder and shook seemingly trying to disappear in the wall behind him. He curled up with his arms around himself. “Don’t. Please.”

“Step back.” The Magician has seen enough and kneeled in front of Takeshi who pulled away from him too, but he put his hand on his knee. “Takeshi, listen to me. You are safe, I promise to you. Nobody will hurt you here.”

All he did was cover his ears with his hands, the bandages soaked with blood.

“I did not.” Satoru spoke up and he knew he had to push through Takeshi’s fear or it would only get worse. Takeshi shouldn’t be going through this horror, because it never actually happened. “Takeshi, I did not do it to you.” Satoru worried because the kid was so broken that he wasn’t sure how to calm him down in the first place. “I did not.” How do you heal or at least help someone in such state?

The Magician gave him a look that screamed ‘pathetic’ and curled up by Takeshi. It frustrated Satoru when he saw him trusting the man more, when he was the one who gave him the poison that hurt him.

But it was true that if not the memories he gave him, the effect would have been different. And Takeshi did agree to the poison, while Satoru attacked him.

“Do you remember what you’ve came here for?” The Magician asked.

It made Takeshi focus, Satoru could see, and he saw his mouth moving into the silent ‘Isao’.

“Do you remember agreeing to take poison to receive the potion for him?”

“He did it after.” Takeshi choked out, difficult to hear him as he hid his face in his arms. “Not the poison. He did it.” He rocked back and forth, feeling sick and his nails dig into his arms.

Takeshi focused on his breathing, barely seeing. All he could do was feel Satoru’s touch, his body aching painfully. It was suffocating, as if he was locked inside his mind unable to do or feel anything but Satoru. He just wanted to run.

“It’s only in your head. There’s no such pain. Focus, Takeshi, and you will realise.” The Magician stroked his hand and it took Satoru a moment but he realised he was healing his hands, the bleeding stopping.

Nothing was getting to him, Satoru thought, as he took a deep breath in. “Let me.”

The Magician shook his head, but he grabbed him and shoved him away. Takeshi realised what was happening when he felt Satoru’s hands on his arms and horrified looked at him with open wide eyes, unable to even scream. He froze.

“Listen to me.” Satoru said, voice strong. “I did not rape you.” There was the ugly word he did not want to use and seeing Takeshi’s tears running down his cheeks made him question whether he should have listened to the man. “I swear I did not. I swear on your dad, I swear on my son. Takeshi, I would not do such thing to my enemy, I would never do it to you. Never. If you do not trust me, trust the bodyguard you knew. I am yours now, and you know I would not betray you. I could not hurt you.” He was repeating himself, but there was something in Takeshi’s eyes that made him think he is listening and understanding. “The poison forced your brain to see those fears as real events. But they weren’t.”

When Takeshi hung his head and hugged himself, Satoru did not know whether he gave up or trusted him. Then they felt chilling wind and the lights dimmed. Satoru looked around, protective strike kicking in, hands still on Takeshi’s arms.

It took a few moments but he saw a man in a black coat with hood low on his head. He wasn’t sure whether he lost it or they were dreaming, but God he hoped it was just a bad dream and Takeshi won’t remember a thing tomorrow.

“It’s just me.”

He could recognise this voice anywhere, now the whisper crystal clear in the sudden silence, as if the wind stopped, too.

“Takeshi.” Katsu kneeled by Satoru who watched his thin, scary white hand reaching Takeshi’s cheek. “Look at me, darling.”

There was no difference; Takeshi was as horrified looking into his father’s eyes as in theirs. Then it seemed as if time stopped and everything became dark. It was Takeshi’s memories, Satoru realised, as blurred images started acting out in front of him.

There was a very young Takeshi dancing in a club with James. Both of them running away giggling when an unrecognizable man caught them and tried to kick them out. Takeshi working in Underground, bringing empty glasses to the bar. Then a little older, dancing and singing with James, childish innocence turned into flirt. Then sitting at school yawning bored, drawing in his textbook, running to the club right after. A scene of his father hitting him, Takeshi crying alone, hiding it with make-up before sneaking out to the Underground where Mori noticed the bruises nevertheless. Meeting Nalin. Meeting Isao for the first time. Their first kiss. The both of them sneaking out as often as possible. Takeshi taking first steps into mafia. Underground on fire. Mori’s death. Umiko’s death, Katsu’s death, Takeshi murdering the Mafia Boss. Separating from Isao, Sousuke, everyone. The breakthrough. Nalin. The engagement. Satoru torturing him. The romance with Shiro. Opening of Underground. The accident. Accepting Satoru and the journey. The magician. The poison.

Satoru opened his eyes and Katsu was gone, lights on again, Takeshi falling in his arms. He caught him and noticed the Magician sliding to the floor breathing heavily.

“Takeshi?” He shook him delicately.

“Let him sleep.” The magician said weakly.

**

Takeshi woke up to a blurry image of a wooden ceiling, cold fingers stroking his forehead. He was wrapped in many warm blankets, and drained looked to his left. Satoru was sitting by, hand instantly stopping moving. Takeshi tensed at first and he moved away but Takeshi shook his head weakly.

It was just the poison.

He felt sick.

“How do you feel, kid?” Satoru asked. There were dark shadows underneath his eyes, face tired, older.

Takeshi looked up at him, so different to not see the man composed and dismissive. There was worry and a question at the end of his tongue, and Takeshi’s eyes filled with tears. He shook his head when Satoru tried to say something and he did not, thumbs drying his wet cheeks instead.

They were quiet for a while, Takeshi lulled to sleep soon after.

The Magician walked in and brought coffee he handed to Satoru.

“How did you do it?” Satoru asked about Katsu. “I thought he could only show when Takeshi sleeps or lets him.”

“I’ve been alive for a very long time.” He answered, and Satoru knew he wouldn’t find out more.

They sat in silence.

“You two can go far,” the man said suddenly, and Satoru cocked an eyebrow in surprise. “You know, every child wants their parent’s acceptance. He had so little of it when he was just a boy, that even now, when it would not even cross his mind, deep inside he hopes to get it from you.”

“I think he is more focused on being horrified that I will hurt him again.” Satoru said slightly irritated. Really? Dude is going to turn this into daddy issues?

He rolled his eyes hearing his thoughts. “What I meant was that he wants to give you a chance and needs you in his life, especially now. But he won’t ever have the strength to ask.”

“He’s not a little boy.” Satoru shrugged. Of course it was nice to have someone you could look up to, and in fairness Takeshi did not have anybody as such, but…

“This is what I’ve meant.”

“Stop reading my mind,” Satoru snapped.

“You don’t talk enough.”

“I don’t have the need.”

“Of course you don’t, it would be horrible if people did not think that you’re an emotionless bastard.”

“Maybe I am.”

“You would come across as more intelligent, too.”

“I know I am, I don’t care if others do.”

The Magician shook his head and sighed. “He’s stubborn, too, maybe it will work.”

“What do you and Katsu want from him?”

Fake surprise coloured his face. “Why, do you care?”

Satoru took a deep breath in and slowly let it out, frustrated with the constant teasing and questioning. He was beginning to get used to the fact that no matter what he would do, nothing would change.

Surprised he looked at Takeshi’s face when he felt his fingers tightening on his hand as if to prove him wrong.

“My, my, you’ve finally noticed he is clinging to you for his dear life?” The Magician snorted, ignoring Satoru’s murderous gaze.

“I can’t move it,” Takeshi whispered.

Satoru tightened the grasp and eyes focused on the thickly bandaged arm. With the nerves cut, it would take a while even with Magician’s help.

“You’ve hurt yourself. But it will heal.” Satoru answered.

Takeshi moved his head a little to look and breathed shakily, quickly looking away. Satoru remembered that he needed the medicine to function, but Magician showed up with it before he could stand up. They helped Takeshi sit up and Satoru held him up while the man helped him drink.

“You need to tell Nalin that it’s time to increase the dose.” The Magician curiously checked the pills as Satoru laid Takeshi down.

“That’s the plan.” He shivered underneath the blankets. He realised he was still holding Satoru’s hand and squeezed it weakly. “I want to go home,” he mumbled to him, feeling unwell.

Satoru nodded. “Then I will take you home.”

“You’re too weak to sit, give yourself a day and then you will be able to walk on your own at least.” The Magician handed the pills back to Satoru. “Give me twenty-four hours and I might find something that will put you back on your feet.”

“I can carry him.” Satoru shrugged. Takeshi weighted nothing.

“No, it’s okay.” Takeshi winced, body aching in a way it would never have just a few weeks before, moments after he took the pills. He was aware he wouldn’t have the strength and he surely wouldn’t let Satoru carry him back. Guy deserved a break from him already.

“One word and we’re out of here.” Satoru said to him and Takeshi smiled before the hold of his hand weakened and eyes closed as he fell asleep. “Do those pills not work at all anymore?” He asked quietly and his worry was the only reason he did not grab the kid and got him out of here already. He wouldn’t forget himself if he left with him unsure whether he can keep him alive. He knew little about the poison, like everybody else, but it seemed to him that it was weakening him till his heart wouldn’t have the strength to beat, and the medicine was supporting it less and less. They couldn’t leave.

“It keeps him breathing but that’s about it.” He yawned. “Well, I’m off to my laboratory, this should be fun to look at. Don’t break anything.” He stood up joyfully and went downstairs, ignoring the murderous gaze.

Satoru was used to people treating him like a dog, but this guy surely touched a nerve.

**

“You sure you want me to keep it?” Satoru asked as they slowly walked with Takeshi back towards civilisation. It was a gorgeous day, sun shining bright and the ocean calm. Takeshi was like a little ghost beside him, and Satoru watched him closely worrying he was going to collapse.

“Yeah…” Takeshi didn’t trust himself with the potion for Isao. The medicine that the man gave him surely put him back on his legs, but he felt as if he was nearly floating, unsure whether it was the sudden strength or faintness. He was drugged.

“How do you feel?” Satoru asked while giving him a hand so Takeshi could climb up the small hill overseeing the ocean.

Takeshi did not answer, he kneeled on top of the hill, waiting for Satoru to climb up after him. The water was shining, like diamonds reflecting in the sun, sky crystal clear blue. Far away more perfectly green hills, and Takeshi closed his eyes, enjoying the sun warming up his cheeks.

“Do you want to take a break?”

“Am I this drugged that I’m starting to see things that aren’t here, or it’s really so beautiful?”

Satoru rolled his eyes. “You got sick pretty quickly on the way here, I guess you weren’t keen on enjoying the views.”

“The romance is completely dead in you, isn’t?” Takeshi chuckled when Satoru gave him a look. “Just kidding.”

“I don’t waste my time enjoying pretty views.”

“You will have such a tough time with me.” Takeshi smiled. He could remember Isao being similar, trained to focus on one thing, so far from enjoying simple things about life, but Takeshi found that sensitiveness in him over the years. Isao was young, it was different, they clicked so easily, Takeshi taught him his way of seeing the world, Isao returned the favour.

Satoru was alive longer than him, there was no way he would change, or want to in the first place, and Takeshi did not expect it. He was aware he would need to work for this more than Satoru.

But what Satoru did not know was that after he saw Takeshi’s memories, and Takeshi collapsed, Katsu let him have an insight into Satoru’s life, too.

He did not see much, but if he realised one thing, it was that Satoru was a happy man when Katsu was alive, even with all the issues they were facing. When Katsu died, Satoru’s life stopped. The two of them weren’t like Isao and Takeshi, instead they were both tough men who tried to live their lives in strict manner prioritising work always, only letting it go sometimes, far away from others, just the two of them. But they did enjoy little things about life once, and Takeshi wondered if he could bring some happiness back in Satoru’s life again.

He was good at making others happy.

“You know this is going to be different than you and Isao working together?”

Takeshi chuckled. “I meant my personality.”

“You’re one of those annoying people getting happy over the lamest shit, aren’t you?”

He smiled. “Just look.”

Satoru shook his head but looked forward. He knew what Takeshi was seeing and maybe was even amused how he could still find enjoyment in it aware of what was happening. Satoru did not anymore, he cared little about the world when it was so fucked and he had nobody to enjoy it with.

He felt Takeshi poking his arm and looked at him instead. Big eyes, small face, and Satoru hovered so easily over him, but there was no fear in him anymore, just hope instead.

“Give me a chance.” Takeshi said quietly.

“I did.” They have spoken about giving each other a clean card.

“Give ‘me’ a chance, not Katsu’s son.”

Satoru seemed surprised. “You are Katsu’s son.”

“You want me to be him,” Takeshi explained.

“I don’t.” Satoru disagreed.

“Do you know how difficult it was for me to be in your presence whenever you visited?” Takeshi chuckled. It wasn’t often, but one thing was always clear. “I felt watched so badly since I remember, everybody expecting me to be like my father, the shame in yours and his eyes when you learned what I am actually doing with my life… Only when I became the boss people stopped comparing, but you… You always did. I felt like I was under constant watch. And now that we have to work together…” He bit his lip. “Would you take this job if not the fact that you still hope to see dad in me?”

Satoru watched him closely and lifted his chin with his finger so Takeshi would look at him. “I took this job because my son asked me to, because I owed you, and because you’re a Yamazaki and Shiginos always helped them. I will always look differently at you because you’re Katsu’s son, but since I am your bodyguard, I understand the importance of getting to know ‘you’ to protect you to the best of my ability, so fear not.”

Takeshi nodded. “I’m easy to like apparently.”

Satoru had a hard time trying not to laugh. “You’re a boss, why do you care.”

To his surprise, Takeshi smirked slightly and he saw a devilish shine in his eyes. “Because I’m engaged to your son, so considering we’re supposed to be family soon…”

“I am going to throw you into the ocean.”

Takeshi grinned. “Are you going to jump after me?”

“You little shit…” Satoru grabbed him with light speed and tried to do as promised but Takeshi screeched and attached himself to him like a koala so considering they would both end up soaked, he let him go. He wasn’t sure what the Magician gave him, but the kid was already joking about his suicide attempt, so Satoru really had to keep an eye on him. “We’re going. Come on.” He sighed and grabbed his hand, Takeshi extending it from where he was lying on the hard ground.

**

“We’ve walked a long way today.” Satoru stated as they finally decided to rest in the same spot as the first night, between the hills.

Takeshi was feeling so well he was practically flying through, finding time to look around and describe to him the beauty of the world – literally. Satoru considered throwing him off the hill a few times. While he had the urge to walk whole way through knowing that after a night of sleep, Takeshi’s strength will be gone, he did not want to push him so he would feel even more sick tomorrow.

Satoru noticed that Takeshi did not reply and turned to look at him. He was standing looking up and Satoru sighed knowing what’s coming.

“God, the stars are so pretty.”

Satoru did not stop it this time. He snorted, begging for patience.

“What?” Takeshi stood there under the moon, its lights casting shadows on his small face.

“Can you appreciate the inside of the tent and your dreams now?” Satoru pointed to the tent he set up. But he realised he said the wrong thing when Takeshi’s smile disappeared. The last time he dreamed he visited hell, and Takeshi surely would be afraid of going through it again. He could not control what was happening when he was asleep.

“Sure.” Takeshi said quietly, taking one last look around and made his way towards the tent. Satoru stopped him before he climbed inside.

“Do you want me to stay by your side tonight?” He asked.

The hope in Takeshi’s eyes was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments :) 
> 
> Happy Easter!


	77. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Where the hell did you go?”  
> The rest of the boys, relief on their faces, watched them waiting for answers.  
> “To find something that would help you.” A few days ago Takeshi would never show himself to be so vulnerable in front of Satoru, ensured how much hatred he had for their relationship. “And we did,” he murmured, enjoying Isao’s body’s warmth.  
> “What?” Isao gaped and boys moved surprised.

Sousuke looked at the map in front of him, placed on top of the table in his living room. Ren was sat opposite to him, reading a book, waiting for Kisumi to come back from the bathroom.

It was a late night.

Ren grinned seeing Kisumi making his way towards him, drying his pink hair with a towel. He sat by him and Ren put to the book on the side.

“You’re still looking?” Kisumi asked Sousuke.

“My boyfriend is gone and nobody cares, who else will search for him if not me?” Sousuke snapped, tired and worried.

Ren cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah, your dad is a bastard getting nearly murdered instead of looking for your boyfriend.”

“Ren.” Kisumi slapped him on his thigh.

“My father left the hospital the second he could for his fiance, but have done nothing for his grandchild’s father.” Sousuke wrote more notes down. He has been to so many places hoping to find his Rin. His friends were helping him, but they were making no progress. And it made him so angry, because he knew that all it would take was one snap of his father’s fingers and he would have Rin back.

“Isao is paralysed because he threatened his life for Takeshi, of course he left to find a way to help him the moment he could stand on his legs.” Ren said frustrated, ignoring Kisumi giving him a look. He knew that Kisumi was happy Takeshi rushed to save Isao, they were both fathers to him. And now he was worrying about both and last thing he needed was Sousuke bitching about it.

“I do not have an issue with my father helping Isao.” Sousuke lifted his head. “He’s my godfather, he is dear to me too. I just do not understand why nobody cares about Rin!” He stood up frustrated and walked away. He needed a drink.

“Yakuza is working hard to find those bastards, it is the main priority. Once we find them, we will also find Rin. What are you bitching about?” Ren shook his head. “Of course the gang does not call the operation ‘find Rin’, this is about finding people who are trying to murder the mafia’s boss. Your father. Which is good, too, is it not? ” He would understand the irritation if nobody would do anything to find the guy, but they were. Maybe the reason behind the search wasn’t what Sousuke wished for it to be, but he should be as happy they were looking for his father’s enemy? The outcome was more important than reason.

Sousuke bit his teeth together. Maybe Ren was right. But he would be as frustrated and screeching if this was about Kisumi, hurrying everybody up.

“Sousuke.” Kisumi smiled, knowing what he was thinking. “Mafia Boss is in danger. All they do is search for enemies these days.”

“You guys seem very aware considering you’re not part of Yakuza.”

Kisumi and Ren looked at each other. “We are.”

Sousuke turned back towards them, glass with alcohol in hand. “What?”

“My dad’s gang is under Yakuza now. And Kisumi helps as much as he is comfortable considering the situation.” Ren informed him. He wanted to add a comment about how little Sousuke knew considering he was next to the throne, but bit his tongue.

“The situation?”

Ren sighed frustrated. “Takeshi ordered everybody to keep their heads low and do the jobs as quietly as possible. On one hand, this is obviously to help the search. The less the gang sees us, the more likely they won’t change their place and we won’t need to start all over again. But this also means that your father is preparing something big. There is a war coming and he will start it with a bang.”

“Aren’t you invested…” Sousuke sat opposite to him, smirk on his mouth, vodka still on the lips.

“And you are dumb.” Ren responded, ignoring Kisumi snapping his name.

“Come again?” Sousuke grasped the glass tighter.

“How blind are you?” Ren put his hand on the table, moving his face closer to Sousuke’s. “I understand you are going batshit crazy over Rin, but are you incapable of caring about more than one person? Well, two.” At least he did not forget about his kid.

“I do care about my family. But I focus on the one who is missing and God knows what is happening to him, instead of worrying about people who are alive and healthy.” Did they all assume Rin was bathing in milk there? He was kidnapped, they could be torturing him right now. What the fuck was wrong with them?

“Healthy?” Ren gaped.

Sousuke massaged his temples. “I am sorry, obviously Isao is hurt, but I am sure my father will turn the world upside down for him.”

“What about your dad?” Ren did not understand their relationship.

“He found enough strength to escape the hospital already, he is fine.”

“Fuck my life, you really are blind.”

Kisumi bit his teeth together, struggling to decide which side to be on. He knew Sousuke was blind and was happy that Ren was pointing it out. But at the same time, he understood why Sousuke was acting this way, going crazy with worry. And Ren had such a good relationship with his dad that he found it hard to put himself in shoes of a son whose relationship was trickier.

Sousuke just starred at him angrily.

“You really do not see that your father is sick?”

“He had a fucking accident, of course he isn’t in the best shape now, but like I said, he is going to be fine.” Sousuke shook his head and stood up. “Sayo will wake up in a moment, I am off to bed. Goodnight.” He had enough of them for today.

“Goodnight, Sou.” Kisumi said quietly and watched him leave to his bedroom. “Jesus, Ren…”

“I am fucking shocked.” He ignored the scolding tone.

“Shocked?” Kisumi cocked his head. “You insult him in his home.”

“Which his ‘father’ bought for him, who he does not give a shit about.”

“Sousuke loves Takeshi.” Kisumi smiled. “They have a rocky relationship, but…”

“I know Takeshi was far from great, but it is not about that. I am talking about them now, and Sousuke not seeing what is happening right in front of his eyes.” 

Kisumi sighed and put his cheek on his shoulder. “I think I am missing your point here, darling.”

“He is sick.” He did not expect Kisumi to not notice a thing either.

Kisumi lifted his head. “But he is getting better…”

“I am not talking about the accident!” Ren lowered his voice knowing he spoke too loud. “Sorry. There is something happening to him, and either the gang has done something, or it has nothing to do with them. But he is definitely not okay.” What the hell was wrong with this family!

“I’ve noticed he has been getting thinner…” Kisumi murmured. “It’s been a rollercoaster since my granddad attacked him, whenever he got a little better, someone kicked him down.”

Ren bit his lip. “My dad has been very busy lately creating potions, and I thought he is making poisons for enemies, but I heard him telling Takeshi how to take the ‘medicine’.”

“Why have you not told me that earlier?” Kisumi opened his mouth in shock, heart beating in worry.

“It was obviously meant to be a secret,” Ren shrugged. “But I thought with Takeshi clearly worsening Sousuke will notice, or maybe he already knew, but obviously not. God, I would know if anything was happening to my dad the moment it happened.”

“I did not see either,” Kisumi whispered.

Ren did not have a heart to say what he actually thought about that.

“We need to find out what’s wrong.” Kisumi faced him, eyes already bright and determined.

“Kisumi, this is really none of our business, and I am slightly uncomfortable with trying to find out Yakuza’s Boss secrets.” Ren regretted starting this conversation already.

“You already got your hands dirty, might as well make it worth it.” Kisumi stood up. “We’re breaking into your father’s office tomorrow.”

“What?” Ren asked weakly.

**

“You’re still buzzing from those drugs, huh?” Satoru asked, hands folded behind his head, seeing Takeshi fidgeting.

“I think so, I can’t sleep.” Takeshi murmured annoyed and turned on his side towards Satoru.

“How’s your hand?”

“Can’t feel it,” Takeshi answered quietly. It did not even hurt, and he worried about tomorrow knowing how everything he did not feel today would come back with maximised strength.

“Hopefully he did not lie and it is going to be fine.”

Takeshi smiled to himself. “You know you can ask me.”

“Huh?” Satoru asked confused. Ask about what?

“Shiro.”

Oh. The lawyer Takeshi had an affair with. He was actually so overwhelmed that day that he did not waste much time thinking about it, unlike what Takeshi was thinking. He had his priorities straight.

“Well, I had some suspicions considering Isao punched him in the face. But I thought he just wants to get in your pants, not that he already did.”

Takeshi expected bluntness. “Isao knew I cheated.”

“Why it took him so long to punch him then?” Satoru asked sincerely surprised.

Takeshi chuckled. “Shiro did not promise loyalty to him. I did. If anybody deserved to be punched, it was me.”

“Isao is never going to lift his hand at you, I’ve taught him better… Ironically.”

Takeshi cocked his eyebrow.

“You really expected a man to remain calm knowing his fiancé is screwing another man on the side?” Satoru shook his head. He understood where Takeshi was coming from, but please.

“He did not punch him for sleeping with me.”

“What did he punch him for then?”

“Shiro told him that he loves me.”

Satoru whistled quietly. “I imagine that’s the danger of an affair.”

“He was drunk.” Takeshi shrugged. “I don’t think he actually meant it. And we are not having an affair.”

“You sleep with him.”

“I slept with him.”

“Fine, so you had, not have, an affair.”

“I was seeing him sometimes when Isao and me were not together,” Takeshi explained. “The reason why I’ve met him after was to get information about the gang and stop him from working for them.”

Satoru turned on his side and looked at him. “Is that your way of getting people on your side?” he smirked.

Takeshi made a face. “God, no. You really think I would be talking about this if actually became a boss through spreading my legs?”

Satoru smiled. “I never though that it was the way you did it. It’s not exactly a secret how you became the boss, either.” Everybody likes to talk about Takeshi’s murders. 

“It’s what you said.”

“Of course I said it, what could hurt more than hard work being reduced to selling yourself out.”

Takeshi sighed and then smirked a little. “I like using my looks to my advantage.” Not everything was a lie.

“I’ve heard a lot about seduction and murders.”

Takeshi shrugged, obviously happy with himself. He was not ashamed of that.

“So Shiro obviously did not gather that you’re using him.”

“Oh, no, he knew why I came to him that night. He’s not a fool and I was honest. It was always just about sex and he was fine with it.”

“No strings attached deal.”

“Yes.”

“Guess he overestimated himself.”

“He’s my lawyer and I’ve been needing him a lot lately, we’ve always been good friends…” Takeshi shrugged. “He seemed really off that day, maybe something else happened too.”

“Or maybe he just loves you.” It was hilarious how much Takeshi did not want to admit the simplest reason.

“Shiro doesn’t do love and relationships.”

“Did you talk to him after the fight?”

“Yeah.”

“And did he say that he didn’t mean to say that to Isao?”

“No.”

Satoru chuckled. “So he admitted to it again. What did you say?”

“I’ve pulled the sick card.”

“What?”

“I basically told Isao and Shiro to stop because I am sick. And going to die soon so it doesn’t really matter.”

“Jesus Christ.” Satoru turned on his back and slapped his hand across his face.

“I know how it sounds, but it’s true.”

“Whatever works.” Satoru shook his head. “What about you though?”

Takeshi looked confused.

“Do you like him?”

“I love Isao.”

Satoru cocked an eyebrow.

“What?” Takeshi did not get what he was getting to.

“I do not need any more proof that you love my son. I know you do. But that does not equal having no feelings for Shiro, you do realise that?” Satoru was definitely not a man to talk about feelings, but he surely could talk common sense and logic. And Takeshi was blatantly missing something.

“I love Isao, so obviously I don’t…”

“You have no feelings for Shiro? None?”

Takeshi blinked. He liked Shiro, and he became important to him especially after the past few months, but the feelings he had for Isao were completely different. “The way I love Isao, I love nobody else. Shiro is part of family to me, I love him in the way I love Nalin, James, rest of the boys.”

“Plus you sleep with him.”

“I did. For a reason.” And he did run into his arms because he wanted one person to not remind him how sick he was. He did care dearly for him. But he did not plan to tell Satoru that.

Maybe he did not love Shiro the way he loved the men he called brothers, their relationship was different, and so was the love, but Isao was his fiancé. He would always be first.

“You could have found another reason to bring him on your side, you chose sex because you’re attracted to him and you knew that he was attracted to you, too.”

“I would never sleep with someone I did not find attractive, and since we did before, I knew he would do something for me if I’d let him have me again. I could have thought of something else but I felt rushed and knew this would be the quickest and most effective way. Shiro has everything, so…”

“He did not have you.” So he knew Shiro liked him at least in one way. Dangerous game.

“Exactly.”

“Well it surely worked, now be careful he won’t betray you if he won’t get what he wants again.”

“I don’t think he will.” If he truly loved him, he wouldn’t. Takeshi just had to find a way to keep him happy without hurting Isao along the way. Shiro did not deserve to end up hurt either. He cared about them both.

Satoru closed his eyes. He could spend the rest of his life bashing Takeshi for cheating on his son, it made his blood boil, but, really, what was the point? If Isao knew, it was up to him what to do with it. Satoru was meant to protect Takeshi no matter what. He still wasn’t sure what to think about Takeshi, he was confusing him more and more.

And it was true; Takeshi was going to die soon. And yet closed his eyes now peacefully and went to sleep like it was his last worry.

“Goodnight...”

“Goodnight, kid.”

**

Takeshi whined painfully as he moved in his sleep. His body was on fire and the breathing more and more difficult. He felt water on his lips and drank thirstily. Someone was holding him up and he coughed, opening his eyes.

“Good morning.”

Takeshi looked at the field around them. It seemed so early, the sun only setting, slight chill outside. Satoru had to pull him out of the tent when he started fidgeting.

“Shouldn’t have gone to sleep.” Takeshi croaked out.

“Whatever he gave you would have stopped working anyway.” Satoru put his chin on top of his head. Takeshi was not supporting his own weight at all.

It took a long time before Takeshi felt his view clearing, strength coming back to his body. He sat up, no longer needing Satoru’s help, but his hand remained on his back nevertheless.

“Can you walk?” Satoru asked.

Takeshi nodded, not seeing Satoru’s doubt.

**

They say that walking or driving back seems to take a lot less time than taking the same road towards the destination. Takeshi did not believe it, still not seeing the end even though they’ve been walking for hours.

They were in the forest now, which seemed way bigger than before, too. Takeshi looked at Satoru when he heard something, but it did not seem the man spoke to him. And then he heard a noise again, from another side, and stopped. Something was moving between the trees, a few steps away deeper into the forest.

“Takeshi…”

Whatever it was, it knew its name, and curiously Takeshi took a step towards it. It called for him, and he wanted to find out what it was, the voice seemed on the verge of begging. Maybe someone was hurt, needing his help.

“What are you doing?!”

Takeshi jumped when someone grabbed him suddenly. Satoru was standing right by him, hand tight on his arm. Takeshi looked up at him shocked.

What did just happen?

“I told you to be careful in this place.” Satoru shook his head and pulled him towards the pathway. There was an unhealthy blush on Takeshi’s cheeks, eyes fogged. Satoru could not remember the last time he held someone’s hand, and it felt weird now, but he slipped his fingers between his making sure he can’t lose a hold of him.

It took a few steps before he realised that maybe Takeshi was not hallucinating. Unless he started to now, too.

Satoru slowly looked behind them, hearing footsteps. “Shit.”

Takeshi followed his eyes and saw red shiny dots. Then slowly, as they came closer, he realised those were eyes of dogs that were walking very slowly towards them. Ugly animals, thin and starved, white teeth on show.

“Can you run?” Satoru asked quietly.

“I feel quite motivated.” Takeshi chuckled.

Satoru would have shaken his head, but they had no time. He tightened the hold on Takeshi’s hand. “We’re very close to the town. On three, we run forward as quickly as possible. Don’t let go.”

He did not need to repeat. The dogs bared their teeth, and the men ran like their lives depended on it.

Which was not a lie at all.

**

Takeshi could feel the breathing of those animals on his neck as he saw the light. His body was screaming from pain, he could not breathe, but the adrenaline rush was all he needed. It was Satoru’s last pull that saved him at the end, and it threw him towards the light, and he rolled down straight into the shallow river, Satoru right after him.

Takeshi looked up to the skies, cold water doing wonder to the pain. The growls were gone and it was just his heavy breathing and sound of the water hitting the rocks.

“Are you okay?” Satoru showed up above him, face concerned.

Takeshi couldn’t talk yet, so he just lifted his hand to show him he needed time. He wasn’t sure whether he was having another heart attack, but he was suffocating from the heavy weight on his chest, and his bones were on fire.

Satoru watched him for some time, but finally made him sit up carefully, understanding how Takeshi did not want to move but it was still winter, even in its end, and the water was freezing. The blush was gone from Takeshi’s cheeks, now he was just white like a ghost.

“Let’s get you out of the water.” Satoru pulled him out and let sit on the stone by. He took his jacket off and threw over Takeshi’s shoulders, the boy shaking. He looked miserable, but he smiled tiredly.

“Well, we finished the journey with style.”

Satoru snorted. Luckily nobody was here to watch it.

“Put your hands inside the sleeves.” He helped him, Takeshi too shaken to stop him as he normally would. But he did screech when Satoru put hands underneath his knees and behind his back and lifted him easily. “Shush.” He should appreciate not needing to walk, really. But Satoru was not going to comment, the boy weighted nothing, and he wasn’t surprised considering how he ate absolutely nothing since they travelled here.

Right. He really did not. It only just hit him.

Satoru felt his breathing slowing down and Takeshi fell asleep, cheek on his shoulder. The driver he called was waiting for them and gave him a scared look but Satoru mumbled, “it’s fine,” to him and as the man opened the door, he put Takeshi on the sofa and climbed in after on the other side.

“Should we go to the hospital?” The driver asked.

“Home.” Takeshi croaked out before Satoru could answer. “I want to go home.”

“Airport it is then.” Satoru said to the man when he gave them an unsure look. “He is just tired.”

**

When Isao saw his father walking inside his hospital room, his heart stopped.

“Where’s Takeshi?”

The past few days the whole family and him spent on edge. Takeshi disappeared one night after just leaving them a note saying that he would fix everything and they have not heard from him since. Isao knew of Takeshi’s sacrificing behaviour more than anyone, and he was terrified.

Now everybody was in the room wondering where he could go when his father walked in alone.

“He’s alive.” Satoru said, all eyes on him. He sat down on the chair by and faced him. Isao looked tired, face a pale grey, dark shadows underneath eyes, a lot thinner than he could remember seeing him. “He grabbed Nalin and the doctor on the way to fix him up a bit.”

“Is he hurt?” Isao worried.

“Nothing serious,” Satoru shrugged. He would leave it to Takeshi to explain everything.

He had to carry him to the airplane and Takeshi slept through the flight. Satoru began worrying he won’t wake up, but after taking all the drugs he had left, which was equivalent of a three day dose, he got back on his feet. They got to the hotel to clean up and then straight to the hospital as Takeshi wanted to bring the potion to Isao as quickly as possible.

Before Isao could ask another question, no one else but Takeshi walked in. Satoru noticed the new bandage around his hand that was hanging on his side, no feeling regained. Takeshi clearly looked thinner, but whatever they gave him brought a little bit of colour back to his cheeks.

“Takeshi!” Before Isao could grab him, James threw himself on Takeshi’s neck. “I am going to kill you.” He hugged him so tight that Takeshi’s laugh was muted. “Don’t you ever. Ever. Do that again.” James held his best friend feeling the stress of past few days slowly leaving his body, and he breathed in familiar smell. His heart was beating like mad.

“I am sorry.” Takeshi smiled, James not letting go. “But I got what I wanted.” He delicately pushed him away and looked at Isao who was sat up and Takeshi’s heart hurt seeing the man who screamed strength now looking so weak. “Hey.”

“Come here.” Isao extended his hand and once he had Takeshi in his grasp, he pulled him onto the bed into a tight hug. He noticed there was something wrong with his hand, and tried to be careful, but he wanted to wrap his arms around him as tight as possible. “Where the hell did you go?”

The rest of the boys, relief on their faces, watched them waiting for answers.

“To find something that would help you.” A few days ago Takeshi would never show himself to be so vulnerable in front of Satoru, ensured how much hatred he had for their relationship. “And we did,” he murmured, enjoying Isao’s body’s warmth.

“What?” Isao gaped and boys moved surprised.

“Well, we are hoping that the potion will put you back on your legs.” Nalin said. “You’re not going to be paralysed, you’re just going to be hurt, so with training you might be able to walk like before one day.”

“How?” Isao was speechless and he finally looked at Takeshi in shock. He was going to walk again? What?!

“You can thank your dad, it would take me so much longer without him.” Takeshi pointed at the man.

Satoru cocked an eyebrow. Well it wasn’t a lie. But his son looked at him with suspicion and he sighed. “I did not force him to go.”

“I’ve asked for help,” Takeshi added.

“Where did you go? Where you got it from?”

“All those questions,” Takeshi murmured and got more comfortable in Isao’s arms, eyes closing and a smile on his face. “It’s not important.”

“It IS important!”

“I will tell you when you will start walking again.” Takeshi promised. God knew if Isao would not get a genius idea and refuse to take the potion if he knew what he had to do for it.

Isao shook his head in disbelief but kissed the top of his head. “I’ve missed you,” he added quietly feeling him falling asleep and then looked at his father. “So, what happened?”

“Oh, please.” Satoru rolled his eyes. “You might not know how a professional bodyguard works, but…” Betraying was not part of it.

“Thanks, dad.” Isao sighed. He was not going to find out shit.

“Well, at least we can sleep tonight.” Iwao folded his hands on the frame of Isao’s bed and put his cheek on top of them.

“Takeshi just found a potion that will let Isao walk again and you are going to sleep?” Nobu growled.

“Totally,” he responded and Kin laughed. Isao tried not to do it himself. It was a quick moment of innocent happiness and hope that they started losing rapidly in the past few days.

Was he really going to walk again?

“We are going to test the potion overnight,” Nalin spoke to Isao, seeing him wondering. “If everything is okay, we will give it to you tomorrow.”

Isao slowly breathed out, trying to not get too excited. But it was so difficult hearing that maybe he won’t stay paralysed forever. As he was bound to the hospital bed, he was pretending he is just hurt and it will go away. He did not want to accept the truth, but he knew that once they would release him and he would need to sit on a wheelchair to go home, it would hit him so hard he was going to break and he feared that moment the most.

And now maybe he would need to sit on the wheelchair too for a while, which would not be the first time, but knowing one day he would stand up would not let him break.

**

Isao smiled when Takeshi murmured something, still sleeping soundly in his arms. Instead of kicking him out of his bed, they brought a blanket to cover him, glad that he stayed in the hospital so they could watch over him.

“Why are you not sleeping?” Takeshi mumbled without opening his eyes, nose pressed to Isao’s neck, healthy arm around his chest.

“Thinking.” Isao kissed the top of his head.

“About?”

“You.”

“Boring.”

Isao chuckled. “You’re very interesting to me.”

Takeshi grinned and touched his cheek. “You need a shave.” He scratched against the short harsh hair.

“I know. It is sort of my fault.”

“Your fault?” Takeshi asked surprised. What was he on about?

“Well, I was complaining how I can’t go to the bathroom to shave, so Nobu offered he would shave me and…” he sighed, yet still a little frustrated. “It just pissed me off, like come on, I can use my fucking hands, he could have just brought the kit, I…” He stopped, bitterness burning his throat.

“He did not mean to make you feel bad,” Takeshi said quietly. “He just wanted to help.”

“I know. I’m annoyed that I snapped at him.” Isao bit the inside of his cheek.

“Did you apologise?”

“Sure, yeah.”

Takeshi rolled his eyes. He knew how apologising looked between his oh so manly men.

“Okay, I need to leave you for a moment, but I will be back very soon.” Takeshi gathered himself up, keeping his arm tight to his chest.

“Huh? Where are you going?” Isao asked quickly. “I don’t want you to go anywhere alone, it is too dangerous…”

“I am just going to the shop downstairs. Relax, mister bodyguard.” Takeshi bent to kiss him soundly on the lips. “I am thirsty.”

“Be careful,” Isao bit his teeth together. He wanted to go, too.

**

It hits you how much time you spend in a hospital when you recognise it in the night, not only the corridors, the smell and surreal feeling, but doctors and even people who’s been staying here for way too long.

He took the lift down, too lightheaded for stairs. The last thing he wanted was to become the patient again. Takeshi was horrible at keeping himself healthy, and now there wasn’t a lot he could do, but he could help himself simply for Isao’s sake.

Isao needed help. And Takeshi had to give it to him.

He walked towards the glassed shop not far away from the shiny reception. He was thirsty, but he came here for a razor and shaving cream.

“Takeshi?”

He quickly turned around hearing familiar voice, and surprised saw Shiro standing behind him. He noticed how tired his face looked, comfortable sweatshirt and snapback on, of course front to back.

“Shiro?”

He smiled, relief on his face. “I’ve heard you’re back and assumed you will stay overnight.”

“Why you did not come upstairs?” Takeshi asked surprised. How long was he waiting here for?

Another smile, this one uncomfortable. “I was told very clearly to stay away.”

“Who said that to you?” Takeshi’s eyes widened in shock.

“It does not matter.” Shiro really did not have bad intentions. “I just wanted to see if you are okay. Are you?” He saw the bandage around his hand that Takeshi clearly was not moving and his pale face seemed one of a ghost.

“Who told you to stay away? When?” Takeshi asked first and he was going to get the answer.

Shiro sighed. “You weren’t responding to my messages so I came on the second day of you being gone to see if anything happened, and obviously they were all stressing, and I asked if there’s anything I can help with so they just snapped, but really, it is understandable…”

“Who?”

“Nobu.”

Takeshi shook his head. “So it wasn’t even Isao.” He would not blame him, but he was not okay with the rest of the family getting involved in their private business.

Shiro chuckled. “I actually think he would have bitten his tongue and ask me for help, but Nobu was first to speak up. Well, since they all know, I’m not surprised mister religious is most disgusted.” He smiled seeing Takeshi fuming. He knew that angry Takeshi was far from pleasant. “It’s okay.”

“No, it is not.”

“Yes, it is.” Shiro walked up to him and embraced. “You’re okay?” He squeezed him in his arms, heart aching from how much he missed and worried about him.

Takeshi nodded. “Got a potion for Isao.”

Shiro let him pull away a little, and urged for him to explain.

“I left so I could find a way to make him walk again, and we did.” Takeshi smiled.

Shiro gaped in shock. “But he is paralysed…”

“It will fix him.”

“Oh.” Shiro blinked. “I am… speechless.” He was impressed and did not know what to think. Once a person was paralysed, there was nothing a human being could do.

And yet.

“He’s a lucky twat.” Shiro grinned, not sure why it made him feel better.

“I’d go for you too.” Takeshi smiled and patted his cheek.

“I know you would.” What wouldn’t Takeshi do for people he liked?

“I will speak to Nobu.” He said. “He has no right to interfere.”

Shiro shook his head. “Nobu spoke for his best friend when he was vulnerable. I get it. Everybody knows, it would be unnatural for them to accept it and frankly it would make me even more uncomfortable. I am not part of the family, to them I am a leech trying to ruin their favourite couple.” He shrugged. “I don’t want to be seen as an insect trying to use the situation, Isao’s condition to my advantage. I am not like this. So I will back away.”

“Shiro…” Takeshi did not want him to back away, he needed him now more than ever.

“You know it is for the better.” Shiro touched his cheek. “You can still count on me, business wise, so do not worry. I will just stop showing up where I’m not wanted, and we will stop meeting each other…”

“We did not even do anything, we just talked…” Takeshi could not care less about how desperate he was sounding, but he was not going to let go. “Isao knows what we did and that there was nothing after that. I don’t care what others think!” He grasped the front of his sweatshirt.

“But I do.” Shiro put his hand over his on top of his chest. “I don’t want people to trash your image. It’s my fault that I exploded in the club and said what I felt. Now everybody thinks that we are cheating. And Isao loves you and of course he will accept me so close to you if you will tell him that you need me. But I know how he feels, and it is horrible. And you might not be cheating, but I am, and he knows it because I’ve told him that I want you. There are no innocent thoughts here. Let the guy relax. Let people talk it out and forget. Then we will meet again.” He stopped as he saw Takeshi, who closed his eyes as he talked, head turned away as if he was stabbing him with every word, suddenly looking at him with a weird smile on his face.

“I am dying.” Takeshi said quietly. “People will stop talking about my relationships when I die, when all of them will be busy pretending they have always cared about me. This is the people you are throwing our friendship away for.”

“I am not throwing it away…”

“No, you just want to start pretending I have never existed.”

“We need a break. You won’t have time for me anyway.” Shiro was slightly surprised how much Takeshi did not want to let go. He thought he was going to only worry about him stopping working for him.

Takeshi smiled, that lost lift of his lips again. “Who is this really about?”

Shiro looked down. “Maybe it is about me,” he sighed, giving up. “I don’t care what people say. It’s me.” There it was, admitting the actual truth. “I find it difficult to be in your presence lately,” he chuckled. “You know how it feels when you’re in love with someone and you cannot be with them. I don’t need to explain it to you, do I?” He smiled seeing understanding in Takeshi’s eyes.

Takeshi licked his dry lips, and looked away to blink tears away. “I am sorry. I did not realise how selfish I was being.” Deep inside he had to know how it made both Isao and Shiro felt, yet he told himself that everything was fine. 

“You, selfish?” Shiro nearly laughed. “Takeshi…”

“Please…” Takeshi smiled. “I have kept you by my side even though I knew how much Isao suffers and you do, too. Just because it worked for me and everybody felt sorry for me so they pretended it was normal…”

“No.” Shiro stopped him. “God, you know, if there is some selfishness in it then I am glad because it is horrifying to me how little selfishness there is in you.” He shook his head, even if Takeshi disagreed. Shiro was possibly too selfish but he did not approve of cheating either, and this was why he never had a partner as everybody who wanted freedom. But Takeshi wanted a husband, and family, and was loyal. “You did it for them, and then never again when it could have been just about you. You did not hide it and Isao forgave you because he clearly fucking loves you. You’re not horrible. And you do consider me just a friend so there is nothing wrong in you wanting to keep me. But it’s me who is the issue because my thoughts are far from innocent. And I care about you so I can’t get in between the two of you because it would mean I don’t.” He took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. “I need time so I can come back as your friend. I want to be your friend.”

“Where are you going?” Takeshi whispered.

“For a holiday.” Shiro scratched his neck. “A bit of a reminder of my single life,” he chuckled.

“Fuck to forget?” Takeshi cocked an eyebrow. “Just don’t bring back anyone prettier than me.”

Shiro laughed. “Like that’s possible.”

Takeshi smiled and put his arms around Shiro’s neck, hugging him tightly, the man quickly wrapping his arms around his middle. “Take care, Shiro.”

Shiro stroked his thin back for a moment, face hidden in Takeshi’s neck, breathing in his smell knowing he would not forget no matter for how long he would be gone. “You too, darling.” One last squeeze, he thought, and just a quick kiss to the cheek. Takeshi let him, of course he did, and then Shiro could let go with a heavy heart. “I will see you soon.”

And he walked away, Takeshi’s heart breaking, so Shiro could take part of it with himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments <3


	78. If you only knew the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke smiled. “Hurt him and I will kill you myself,” he said calmly and looked at him once before opening the door to walk inside the room. He did not fear this man anymore.  
> Satoru did not move. He’d make Sousuke put a gun in his mouth just by telling him who brought the slow and painful death on his father.

When Isao saw Takeshi walking back into his room, he knew something bad happened.

But as it went with his fiancé, the bigger the problem, the bigger the fake smile, and Takeshi shook a bag in front of his face before he could say a word.

“What’s this?” Isao smiled, taking it off him.

“You wanted to shave, didn’t you?” Takeshi asked in a cocky voice.

Isao chuckled seeing the razor and shaving cream, and watched as Takeshi went to the bathroom and brought him a small bowl, towel, and bottle of water, awkwardly pressing it to his chest with one hand.

“There you go.” Takeshi sat comfortably on the chair after giving it to him. “Get to work.”

Isao snorted. “I need a mirror, boss.”

“Sometimes it is good that I am look obsessed, isn’t?” Takeshi grabbed his bag and took out a bronzer with a mirror attached. “You’re welcome.”

Isao did not say anything focusing on not laughing. When he shaved his face, not only he lost ten years, but felt so much better. It was cheeky, but there was a slight pressure to look good when your fiancé was so well known, partly for modelling.

And even though Takeshi was speaking so little about it, he knew the designers were asking for him. And Isao was not sure why he was pushing them away.

But modelling was always Takeshi’s business and he did not interfere.

“Thanks, darling.” Isao said when Takeshi took the kit and put it away in the bathroom.

He came back to him and sat on his bed this time. Takeshi touched his face happily and Isao pulled him close, knowing he was not going to let him go before he would find out what happened.

“Talk to me.”

Takeshi put his cheek on his shoulder tiredly. “Hm?”

“What happened downstairs? You were not okay when you came back.”

Takeshi sighed. He hoped he did not show it. And the last thing he wanted was to whine to Isao about Shiro, for God’s sake.

“I had a chat with Shiro, that’s all.”

“Did he upset you?” Somehow he did not think it was business related.

“No, he is just leaving for some time.” He did not want to talk about this.

“And this made you so sad?” Isao tried to not sound ironic.

Takeshi closed his eyes with a wince. He was so careful but made it sound worse than it was.

“I am sad because Nobu telling him to fuck off was the final blow that made me lose a lawyer when I need him the most.”

Isao wanted to call him out on the bullshit, but he focused more on his best friend’s name. “Nobu?” He blinked, remembering. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.” Takeshi tensed in anger, which Isao felt, tightening the hold on his arm.

“Nobu snapped at him, because he was worrying like mad about me, and then you added to it by running away,” Isao tried to explain calmly.

“So he pushed away the one who wanted to help?” Takeshi knew that Isao would side with Nobu for two obvious reasons, one being the fact that he was his best friend, and second being the hatred he felt towards Shiro, but he was not letting this go.

“Takeshi,” Isao said quietly, pressing his lips to the top of his head, so carefully wrapped in a shawl. “Shiro shot himself in the leg, nobody else. You did not expect our friends, especially Nobu, to ignore what he said?” They were on their own when he snapped, but people quickly came to their own conclusions and he told the men the actual truth, as it was better than some of the rumours he heard.

“I do not wish for anybody to get involved into our business and I especially do not wish for them to ruin relationships that I have with people.”

“If Shiro left because someone told him something mean, then I do not think you’ve lost much, darling.” He sighed when Takeshi sat up angrily, but Isao kept his hand on his back, teasingly reaching under his shirt to stroke the smooth skin. “Nobu is my best friend. What he saw was me lying here paralysed looking like shit, and a dude who wants to steal you from me, walking in like a boss ready to save you. Do you see the issue?” Maybe they were acting like dumb alphas, but they were men after all, Isao smiled to himself.

“I know that this situation is wrong,” Takeshi said quietly. “But it is my fault. Shiro is not making any moves on me, and he left because he hated that people thought he would use the accident against you and did not want people to dirty my image. He is not the bad person here.”

“Takeshi, I really never blamed another man for falling for you,” Isao chuckled, scratching his back to tease him a little. “And there were many. But you have not noticed most of them, which is not the case with Shiro.”

“I just do not want others to get involved,” Takeshi said with more force.

“I will talk with Nobu, okay?” Isao smiled and pulled at his shirt, forcing Takeshi to lie down by him again. Takeshi did not protest and Isao wrapped his arm around him and pulled into a kiss. “Okay?”

“I will talk with him.”

“Takeshi, please do not start shit because of this.” He snorted when Takeshi exhaled frustrated, cold air on Isao’s neck.

“Nobody treats me like a boss anymore, and I understand it is my fault because I’ve been keeping my head low for a long time and getting my ass kicked, but Nobu is…”

“Takeshi, he just snapped at a dude…”

“Nobu is having businesses I am not made aware of.” Takeshi shook his head. “This is why him snapping at Shiro worries me more than you think it should.”

“Wait, what?” Isao stopped stroking his head.

“Nobu is working on the side,” Takeshi repeated. “You know that I allowed the boys to do that, but the silent agreement was them telling me about it. Nobu has not said a word. And it concerns me.”

“I am sure that he just did not think it was important compared to everything else, and preferred to not bother you with it.” Isao said, voice betraying his true feeling. Nobu would at least let him know.

Takeshi was quiet for a while, fingers playing with Isao’s shirt. “What if there is more to it?” he asked.

“Nobu would never betray you, Takeshi. He loves you.” It hurt to think about the possibility. But Nobu was like a mother of the gang, which they always laughed about. It was not in his blood to betray. Morally wise he was the best of them.

“Nobu has a family he needs to protect, he knows I am dying, the enemy’s gang is getting stronger…”

“You are part of the family. He wants to save you. And we know that you are planning something, keeping your head low on purpose.”

“I am not leaving this world before making sure those monsters are gone or that you guys will be strong enough to get rid of them,” Takeshi said. “But I need to consider everything now. And Nobu’s behaviour is suspicious to me.”

Isao shook his head. Takeshi was overreacting.

“I had this horrible thought, you know,” Takeshi started unsurely. “I am sure I am overthinking it all now, but…” Safe? Or sorry? Isao was the only one he would share such worries with.

“Go on.” Isao stroked his head again. He preferred for him to let it all out instead of tormenting himself for days.

“What if Shiro never really left the gang, just pretended to… and this argument with Nobu was just a show, so he could have an excuse to leave, obviously Nobu helped because he is involved with them now, too, and he will leave next…” Maybe all this time he was being fooled and falling for it perfectly.

“Takeshi.” Isao moved his hand onto his back where he tightened the touch, lifting him a little up to kiss on the forehead. Gosh, he missed him and was just looking for excuses to touch and kiss him. “No…” He did not want to use the word ‘ridiculous’ to upset Takeshi, it was usual for him to become suspicious towards everyone during such times and it was better than him trusting everybody. “I might be biased when it comes to Nobu, but I would know if Shiro was deceiving you.” He was not going to add that he was happy Takeshi was doubtful towards not only them, but Shiro as well.

“Right, because you’re not biased towards Shiro at all,” Takeshi chuckled.

“I am so biased towards him that I would notice any insincere feelings,” Isao snorted. “Unfortunately they’re very sincere, that’s why I punched him in the face.” He smiled.

Takeshi sighed. Isao should have punched him instead.

“Stop worrying that head of yours.” Isao patted his cheek. “You need to rest.”

“I am fine.”

“You had an accident, a brain surgery, and then you ran away and hurt yourself even more. You’re not fine.” Isao growled when Takeshi mumbled annoyed. “And you still have not told me what happened.”

“I will later.” Takeshi could not stop the yawn that finally escaped his mouth. He buried his face in Isao’s neck. “Go to sleep.”

Isao snorted. Always a boss.

**

“Are you sure nobody is home?” Ren whispered as he and Kisumi walked inside Takeshi’s mansion.

“Yep.” Kisumi still walked on his toes. “Half of them in the hospital, another half at work. I swear.”

“We should not be doing this.” Ren opened the door to his father’s office, wondering why he did not lock it. Ah, right, because he trusted people to keep away, he thought bitterly.

Kisumi did not listen. After a quick walk downstairs he stopped amazed and looked at the shelves of books and weird jars and clear boxes with flowers inside, all around them. There was a big wooden table in the middle right by the opposite wall and they walked up to it.

“He has so many things, there is no way we will figure out which is for Takeshi,” Ren sighed. He was not going to look through his father’s things. He already felt like a traitor.

Kisumi was too busy checking the documents on the table, scratching his neck in confusion. He understood nothing.

“Plus he has been giving him those meds for so long, he definitely does not use notes…” Was his boyfriend even listening to him?

“You know more about this than me, why won’t you have a look?” Kisumi grabbed him before he could answer and made him look at the notes. “What is this about?”

“I really do not like doing this.” Ren cringed. He hoped to understand nothing.

Kisumi stayed quiet, giving him no chance to argue. Ren put his hands on top of the table and started reading through his father’s notes.

When he heard his dad speaking to Takeshi about the medicine, and saw Takeshi’s sickly look that he tried to cover obviously quite successfully as nobody seemed to notice anything, he could guess it was quite serious. But it could not have been too serious if he was not telling anyone…?

Ren was not sure, this family made no sense to him. He knew when his father was not well without being told, and maybe they were closer than others partly because of his father’s sickness, but it was trust and sensitivity they shared that those people clearly missed. Kisumi did not even consider that he was doing something bad.

And now Ren was reading what he hoped had absolutely nothing to do with Takeshi. His dad was researching horrible poisons and for a moment he considered that they were creating some for the enemy, but the further notes made it clear he was gathering ingredients from them and finding out how to heal the damage from every single one. He had symptoms written down too, and that was when Ren stopped lying to himself. His father was only healing Takeshi, this could not be about anybody else.

He was researching worst symptoms and poisons and trying to find a cure, which also meant they did not know how to help Takeshi fully. Hopefully just not yet.

He liked the dude. He owed him his father’s life.

“So?” Kisumi poked him. “Anything?”

“I… don’t know.” No. He was not telling him this.

They both froze hearing the door open and turned abruptly, but there was absolutely nowhere to go. So they stood, faces white, and saw Nalin walking downstairs without a rush.

Ren hung his head in shame seeing the disappointment on his face.

“Get out.” Nalin had no questions.

“But…” Kisumi did not finish before Ren grabbed him by the arm and pulled after himself as he quickly walked upstairs and away from the office.

**

“Okay, stop!” Kisumi pushed Ren away before he opened the door to the car after they ran outside.

Ren let him go and Kisumi could not remember the last time he saw him so pissed and ashamed. He knew that Ren was incredibly loyal to Nalin, but he did agree to this, so he had no right to take it out on him now. “If you would let me talk, I would have explained to your dad why we did this and take the blame!”

“Just get in the car, Kisumi.” Ren shook his head as he opened the door for himself and sat behind the wheel.

Kisumi sighed and walked to the other side. When he sat by Ren, his boyfriend turned the engine on and they quickly drove down the hill. “I am sorry, okay?” Kisumi said frustrated. “It was not even worth it, we found absolutely nothing.”

“Just ruined my relationship with my dad, no biggie.” Ren said sarcastically.

“Oh, stop it, I am sure he will forgive you.” Kisumi did not really see it as a big deal.

“You do not understand.” Ren shook his head. “He trusted me. I could have asked about anything, I could have told him everything. He shared so much with me, not doubting me for a second, believing I would never tell anyone. Now… it’s done. It’s fucking done.” He should have never agreed to this. Now he knew that Takeshi had to be in horrible condition and it seemed he was actually dying and they did not know how to save him, and he could do absolutely nothing about it. Not even tell Kisumi because he had no heart to do so.

“I will fix it…” Kisumi said quietly.

“Please just leave it.”

**

“You are going to be okay.” Takeshi held Isao’s hand in the pre-surgery room.

In the morning Nalin told them that they have decided to carry out a surgery as in order to get the best possible result they would inject the potion deep inside the spine. They would have given partial anaesthesia usually, but they were planning one last surgery anyway so they would do both jobs at once.

“Well, it can’t get any worse.” Isao chuckled nervously. Takeshi was pretending to be relaxed, but was holding his hand so tight it actually hurt.

“Stop that.” It could always get worse. He was a perfect example of everything getting worse.

“Ready?” Nalin walked over to them and put his hand on top of Takeshi’s shoulder. “Time for you to go then.” He smiled when Takeshi bent to kiss Isao, hand now visibly shaking as he put it on Isao’s cheek. “He is safe with us, do not worry.”

“I know.” Takeshi trusted Nalin with his life and he saved it so many times. He was just not used to being on the other side and hated seeing anybody else hurt. This was why he was usually glad to be the one ending up in the hospital if it meant it was none of them. He would take every shot for every single person in his family.

“Get some rest, this will take a few hours.”

“I am going to see Naoko,” Takeshi squeezed Isao’s hand one last time before the surgery. “And I will see you when you wake up.” He smiled.

“Good luck,” Isao lifted his hand to his lips and kissed it.

**

Takeshi carefully walked inside Naoko’s room. The man had a heart attack and healed from it a long time ago, but psychologically has been in a horrible condition, the doctors not letting him leave. And from what Takeshi knew, he did not care to.

“Naoko?” he asked quietly.

He was starring blankly towards the ceiling, room dark as the curtains were closed. The reason he actually looked towards him was most likely the surprise of hearing Takeshi’s voice. He asked about him, it was what James has told him.

“Hey, darling.” Takeshi said quietly, walking up to his bed.

Naoko looked at him for a few seconds longer than usual, and Takeshi wondered for a moment whether he would blame it all on him. He wished he could have kept them all safe, and maybe the opening of Underground was a bad idea, but he foolishly thought that the gang would attack him, not his men’s families.

And then Naoko shuffled to the side, making space for him and Takeshi did not think twice before curling up by his side.

“What happened to your hand?” Naoko asked quietly.

Takeshi shrugged. “It’s going to be alright.”

“You can’t move it.”

“I will once it heals.”

Naoko nodded. Takeshi watched his small face, the man so well known for his charm and eyes bright from laughter, now his skin was grey and cheeks hallow. Takeshi reached for his cheek and stroked it, Naoko closing his eyes seemingly in pain. And then he breathed in and choked, heartbroken sobs following. Takeshi opened his arms so he could cuddle up to him, none of them saying a word.

He stroked his hair, unable to imagine what he was feeling. To lose your other half and children… How could he comfort him? Nothing he would say or do would be enough.

“I can’t do this,” Naoko shook. “I can’t live knowing my whole family is dead because of me, I went to the party, leaving them with little security knowing there are enemies everywhere…”

“Shhh.” Takeshi hugged him tighter. “It was not your fault,” he whispered. “It was my job to keep you all safe and I failed, if you want to hate anybody, hate me.”

“We are meant to protect our families, not leave it to one man to protect us all.” Naoko looked up. “I do not blame you at all.”

“Do not blame yourself either.” Takeshi said. “Everybody had the same amount of security. It was just pure luck their families were away.”

“I’ve lost them all,” Naoko whispered, tightening his hands on Takeshi, burying his face in his chest. “I can’t just carry on living, Takeshi. Everybody has been coming here telling me that I need to,” he chuckled desperately, voice breaking. “I had a family, I’ve lost them all, and I am suppose to just carry on like no big fucking deal.” His breathing shook, anger and despair making him dig his nails into Takeshi’s hoodie. “I can’t. I can’t do this. I don’t want to live without them. There’s no point.” His world was gone.

Takeshi pulled him closer, chin on top of Naoko’s head. There was a burning sensation in his chest and for a while he could not say a word.

“Then live for revenge,” Takeshi said finally, voice a little above whisper. “Help me kill them to avenge your family.”

If Takeshi would lose everyone, the only reason he would not follow them would be to stay long enough to murder every single person who hurt them. What else could motivate a man who lost his whole family?

Naoko was still here in the hospital because nobody gave him purpose he so desperately needed. The truth was, nobody could imagine the tragedy he was going through. Takeshi knew that telling him to live for his family, because they would want it, would mean absolutely nothing.

But revenge often was enough of a drive and maybe by the time he would get it, he would have found another reason to continue living. Maybe it would heal him. Naoko knew they were already out to murder them, so he could not lie that it would be only for him. But he could involve him, he could make him important, he could give him the determination.

Naoko did not say anything and Takeshi stroked his hair some more. He was considering and that was enough for now.

“Could you help me with the…” Naoko exhaled slowly to keep himself as calm as possible. “Funeral.” He felt sick for a moment and closed his eyes.

“I will take care of everything.”

Naoko did not need to worry about anything with Takeshi by his side.

**

Sousuke and Kisumi made their way towards upstairs where they knew Isao was having a surgery. They expected Takeshi to be sitting outside the room and were not disappointed.

They have not seen him since he was lying there unconscious and they heard the men questioning whether he would wake up. Sousuke never questioned such things, he just knew his dad would be alright. And he was.

Kind of.

“Takeshi?” Kisumi asked before Sousuke could.

He lifted his head and looked at them seemingly in deep thought before, face unhealthy looking, but he smiled. Kisumi quickly sat by him and thrown arms around his neck and Takeshi chuckled as he returned the hug. Sousuke cocked his head seeing him not moving his arm, only one embracing Kisumi tightly.

“How is dad?” Kisumi asked as Sousuke sat opposite to them.

“I do not know anything yet, I’m sure he is fine, though.” Takeshi ruffled his pink hair. “He’s a strong guy.”

“I hope it is going to work,” Kisumi whispered. He did not accept his dad’s paralysation and he jumped in happiness when he heard of the possibility of him being healed.

“It will,” Takeshi was sure.

They heard footsteps and looked to their left and recognised Isao’s parents. “Grandma!” Kisumi cheered and ran straight into her arms. “Can you never leave?” he mumbled. Kisumi enjoyed her living in Tokyo now, nobody cooked better than her and she always accepted the way he was. He loved her so much. And he asked why she decided to stay, considering how much she loved her home, and she simply said that she knew when she was needed.

“We will see,” she chuckled and kissed the top of his head.

“Hi granddad,” Kisumi said to Satoru, voice a lot quieter.

“Hey, kiddo,” Satoru noticed his unsure face. “Do you know anything yet?” He looked at Takeshi.

He shook his head. “Shouldn’t take much longer.”

“Dad.” Sousuke said suddenly. “Can we have a quick chat? Please.”

Takeshi was surprised, but he nodded and they stood up. “Give me a call once you find out anything.” He said to the Shigino family. “Okay?”

“Of course.” The mother touched his cheek.

**

There was a lovely park around the hospital, now so green in summer, trees, grass and light grey pavement. They found an empty bench and sat down, quiet for a while, the sun warming their faces.

“How are you feeling?” Sousuke started, a little awkwardly.

“Cut the bullshit.” Takeshi smiled at him. “What do you want to know?”

“Hey,” Sousuke cringed. Maybe it hasn’t been going too well between them lately, but they’ve made it better before the accident. “I do care.”

“I am fine,” Takshi shrugged. He did not mean to make Sousuke feel bad, he just knew this was not the reason he wanted to talk.

“What happened to your hand?”

Takeshi pressed it tighter to his chest. “It just needs to heal.”

Sousuke bit his teeth together in frustration.

“Can you tell me anything?” Sousuke asked, looking him straight into eyes. Sitting so close and having a chance to get a good look at him ensured him even more that there was something bad happening to his father. Over the past few weeks his vision was fogged with worrying about Rin and getting mad at his dad, but Ren’s words made him think. Finally. And he said that he was going to do something about it so many times…

“I promise to you that I am looking for Rin,” Takeshi said. “I know it looks like we are doing little, Sousuke, but the reason I am working so quietly is because I want to find those bastards. We thought that they use the ship just for work, but it turned out they live there, and as you can imagine it is way harder to find a moving house than static one. When they do not feel the threat, they move less often which gives me a chance to catch them. I know it is frustrating, but those things take time and I am carefully following my plan so we can actually win with them. It is not going to be easy.” He let the boy take the information in as they sat in silence. Did Sousuke really think he was not looking for people who were causing so much damage to the whole gang? If he could he would have bombed them out already.

“How come the cameras have not helped?” Was Takeshi’s dangerous encounter all for nothing?

“They do not work. I do not know whether they found them all or done something to electricity to break them.” Takeshi shrugged, face upset. Oh, son, if you only did not bring Rin to the warehouse that day.

Sousuke sighed. “What’s going on with you then?” Maybe if he would ask casually, he would just slip?

“What do you mean?” Takeshi asked. Oh no, kiddo, you’re not getting that out of me.

“Dad, you had a brain surgery. Can you stop acting like there’s absolutely nothing wrong?” Sousuke’s voice was soft, but he was a little irritated. “There’s been so much shit happening to you in the past few months and I just…” He stopped.

Takeshi cocked his head, urging him to continue.

“Everybody has a limit, and I worry that it’s going to be too much soon,” he breathed out. “You’re the boss, why is this still happening to you?”

“You answered your own question, darling,” Takeshi was surprised seeing Sousuke genuinely upset. “Because I am the boss.” Things have gotten worse over the past few months but there have always been people out there to hurt him. Sousuke just never knew because he was a child.

“I know what I am going to say is highly inappropriate, but Isao is…”

“Don’t,” Takeshi stopped him, not wanting to get angry. “Isao is being operated on now because he protected me. I would have died if not him.”

“I know he loves you dearly,” Sousuke said. “I just think he loves you too much to guard you properly. But I don’t think Satoru is a good idea, either.” He cringed. Obviously. He knew Isao would give his life for his dad, but because they loved each other, it was like Isao was too busy being with Takeshi instead of focusing on his safety like a bodyguard would. And it was natural, Sousuke felt, and he did not blame him for it. But Satoru? Sousuke could still see his father on the hill, a step away from tragedy. There was no hope in his face and it haunted Sousuke since then.

Takeshi did not like people criticising Isao even if they did not mean to be rude. But Isao nearly died and now lied there paralysed and it really, really made his blood boil to hear those comments now. What was wrong with them?

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Sousuke saw his face and it told him enough. “I love Isao. It’s just as a bodyguard…”

“Let’s change the subject, okay?” Takeshi put his hand on his arm and stroked it.

“Okay,” Sousuke tensed, knowing he crossed the line. But he did not believe that he was wrong. “Satoru?”

“He’s trying very hard.”

“What about you, though? After what he did to you?” Come on, dad…

“I can deal.” Takeshi winked.

Sousuke shook his head. “This isn’t strength, this is just toxic.” Why was his father so horrible to himself?

“You’re so opinionated, I just don’t know after who.” Takeshi sighed theoretically and Sousuke turned towards him thinking he went too far, but Takeshi was smiling as the sunshine hit his face, elbow on the back of the bench, cheek rested on top of his hand.

“You, probably.” They heard a voice above them, and Takeshi jumped startled.

“Jesus, do not do that.” Takeshi put his hand on his heart, Satoru standing above. “I am opinionated, but not out loud.”

“Bullshit, Isao told me of many bitch fights you had.” When he was still speaking to him.

“I have a short temper when I am drunk, but I usually prefer to watch the drama instead.” Takeshi grinned.

Satoru shook his head. “Isao asked about you.”

Takeshi was upstairs before they could say another word.

**

Sousuke stood right by Satoru watching through the window as Takeshi sat by Isao and bent to kiss him softly on the lips, hand on his cheek. Isao was lying straight on the bed, eyes closed, and he seemed still quite out of it. Kisumi and his grandmother were there but stepped back to let them be together.

“This situation is toxic,” Satoru agreed and smirked when Sousuke tensed, realising he heard what he was saying outside. “And yes, if not your father’s masochistic personality, I would not be here now. But I am not planning to use it against him, if this is what you think. I will protect him, don’t doubt it.”

Sousuke smiled. “Hurt him and I will kill you myself,” he said calmly and looked at him once before opening the door to walk inside the room. He did not fear this man anymore.

Satoru did not move. He’d make Sousuke put a gun in his mouth just by telling him who brought slow and painful death on his father.

**

“I don’t feel anything yet,” Isao murmured, before yawning and slapping his hand across his mouth.

“Give it time to work,” Takeshi chuckled, stroking his cheek. Isao was completely out of it.

“If you say so,” Isao sighed. “No, don’t stop that.” He caught Takeshi’s hand when he felt him taking it away.

“Needy bitch,” he murmured.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Takeshi patted his cheek a little harsher. “Go back to sleep.”

“Okay.” Isao did but not before wrapping one arm around his waist so he would not leave.

Kisumi started laughing and his grandmother quickly slapped him playfully across his head.

“This is why it is usually me lying here, because I don’t turn into a needy brat when I’m sick.” Takeshi faced them, not really having much control on the rest of his body since Isao grabbed him.

“I’ve heard that,” Isao mumbled.

“Go to sleep,” he repeated.

Takeshi tried not to chuckle when Isao side-eyed him and he felt so light without the heavy weight of worry on his heart. Kisumi ignored them and walked up to Takeshi, hugging him from behind. Takeshi seemed surprised when he turned his head towards him and Kisumi mouthed ‘Thank you’.

Takeshi kissed his temple, unable to do anything else with one hand unmoving, the other held tightly by Isao. There was nothing to thank him for.

**

“Look, he is going to be asleep for a few good hours.” Nalin put his hands on top of Takeshi’s shoulders, as he stood over him. Takeshi has not moved away from Isao’s bed since he got here, and Nalin, at this point, could feel his tiredness even more than just see it. “Please go home and rest.”

“I am fine.”

“If you will say the word ‘fine’ one more time, I will shoot you.” Nalin put his hands around his neck in warning. “You don’t even contact half of the time.”

Takeshi did not fight, he did not have strength for it, but he was not leaving Isao anyway.

“He will need you when he will wake up,” Nalin continued. “And then even more when he will be learning to walk again. But you won’t be able to help because you will fall flat on your face.”

Takeshi patted him on his hand and bit his lip to not laugh when Nalin tightened it on his neck.

“Like good old times,” Takeshi joked.

“You’re so stupid.” Nalin sat by him, giving up. He would probably grab him and shove out, but Satoru was already watching his hands and Nalin knew how much Isao’s punch hurt – and he surely wasn’t keen on finding out his father’s strength.

That bastard was an actual competing boxer and Nalin could remember feeling glad he wasn’t Takeshi’s bodyguard when they were still fighting.

“Hey, only I can call him stupid.” James lifted his head from the sofa on the side, where he was lying comfortably.

“You might be the best friend, but I saved his life more times than you, so get lost.” Nalin side-eyed him.

“Are you guys arguing about who can be a bigger dickhead to me?” Takeshi cocked his head.

“Told you that you should have went home.” Nalin shrugged.

Takeshi stopped listening as he noticed Isao moving. Isao turned his face towards him and Takeshi leaned in closer. “How do you feel?” he asked as quietly as possible.

“I thought I…” Isao started unsurely and stopped. He seemed to be thinking about something and Takeshi tightened the hold on his hand. Isao shook his head. “Nothing.”

“The potion is meant to take time, Isao.” Nalin knew what Isao was desperately waiting for.

“I know.” He smiled and it was fake.

“You will probably regain the feeling sooner than Takeshi,” Nalin added. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Nalin,” Takeshi gave him a look, unhappy with him mentioning it. This wasn’t about him.

“What?” He shrugged. “It always helps to focus on someone else when you’re obsessing.”

“Speaking from experience?” James snorted.

Nalin mouthed ‘fuck you’ without a blink to him, making James laugh.

Isao looked at Takeshi, his arm wrapped tightly in bandage. He noticed that now it was pressed to his chest, secured with black shawl to keep it in place. He knew he was hurt, but now he really began worrying.

“But it will heal?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Takeshi quickly stopped the conversation. He did this to himself, the last thing he wanted was Isao to think that he lost the feeling in his arm so Isao could regain the feeling in his legs.

“Nalin.” Isao urged.

“There is a very good chance, yes.” Nalin wasn’t planning to lie to Isao, he believed he would heal Takeshi, but he could not guarantee it. Plus once Takeshi would start feeling anything they would need to put him on additional painkillers because it was going to hurt like a motherfucker. He did not get why Takeshi tried to hide it, his injury was pretty visible.

“I swear to God, if you lost…”

“Can we go back to you?” Takeshi sighed.

They all just stopped talking.

**

Takeshi wasn’t sure how they made him go home, but he was suddenly in a car with the driver and Satoru with him in the back. Either he actually fell asleep and they used the situation and carried him out or they just pushed him and he went because he stopped contacting completely.

Takeshi walked inside the house and stopped. He wished he was tired enough to just go upstairs without noticing anything, but the image shook him awake.

The house was a complete mess. Dirty glasses and plates covered the kitchen, his white carpets had footsteps and paws all over them, clothes were thrown over the sofa, piles of them here and there. And it stunk. It simply stunk.

“Fucking hell.” Satoru gaped. He always heard about Takeshi being a bit of a clean freak so seeing his house so dirty was quite a shock. And clearly not only to him. “Well, that’s what happens when you let the whole zoo in your house.”

Takeshi blinked. “Did you just compare my family to a zoo?”

Satoru scratched his neck. Well. And then he noticed Takeshi making his way towards the dirty clothes thrown over the sofa and he caught the back of his hoodie to pull him back.

“You are going to sleep.”

“It stinks! I am not leaving it like this!”

“Don’t make me take you upstairs,” Satoru warned, but Takeshi ignored him, until he let go of his hoodie only to grab him in the middle and throw over his shoulder. Takeshi actually swore instead of screaming like a little bitch, but he could feel the claws he dug into his shirt.

“Are you serious?!” Takeshi snapped. “What am I, a child?”

“You’re acting like one.” Besides, he was one to him, he thought as they walked upstairs. “You don’t weight much more than when you were a kid I had to carry on my back, do you?”

“You ever carried me?” Takeshi asked genuinely surprised, not realising how much tiredness clouded his mind. He whined when Satoru threw him on top of his bed.

“Go to sleep.” Satoru said and turned to leave but stopped hearing no response. He faced Takeshi again and tried not to laugh when he saw him already asleep in the position he left him in. With a deep sigh he moved him up the pillows and pulled the blanket over his chest.

He had a job to carry out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed :)


	79. The Struggle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I am trying to be wise.”
> 
> “Try to be human. You will make it easier for everyone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Satoru looked at the mess around him. He was definitely not cleaning those bastards’ shit and he was definitely going to make them do it.

He sat by the bar after making himself a coffee, he had to clean one cup for that, waiting for the men to come back. His wife was meant to take care of Sayomi, while Sousuke and Kisumi stayed by Isao, so rest of the men could rest.

Soon after the sound of engines filled the silence and the men started walking in, not even a blink seeing the mess.

“Wait a second.” He stopped them before they could ignore him and go upstairs. “Before you all are going to fuck off, I advise you clean up your shit.” The shock on their faces was delicious.

“We literally have a few hours to rest before doing more important things and you want us to clean?” Iwao put his hands on his hips, stopping them from wrapping around Satoru’s throat.

“Yes.” Satoru put his cup down. “You made a complete shithole out of a millions worth mansion and it is not even yours, so the kind thing to do would be to clean the fuck up. I don’t care if you’re dirty bastards, be dirty at your own place.” He was angry because they showed complete lack of respect for Takeshi and his belongings. They moved in here assuming he would want that, and sure, he probably would, but to do this?

“It is fucking hilarious that you’re talking about kindness towards Takeshi, isn’t?” Iwao snapped, too tired to control himself. He did not give a shit, this anger has been building up for way too long. “I mean, it’s been three fucking days without you torturing him, congratulations, you’re an expert now!”

“Iwao.” Nobu caught Iwao’s arm seeing him moving forward. Satoru has not made a move but watched him like an animal waiting to jump the prey. “Let’s just clean up.”

**

Satoru made his way outside to walk around the house, as the men got to work and Takeshi slept peacefully upstairs. He could not believe how unsecured this place was. Maybe Takeshi had the bodyguard right by his side, but it was not enough.

Takeshi confused him. Over the years he heard a lot about the ‘best mafia boss’ they ever had, the murderous, cunning and clever man, his terrifying, manipulative persona, twisted ideas, always getting what he wanted. People clung to him because being by his side meant having everything and not paying the highest price for it, because he did not let the enemies touch any of his people.

He knew that he began Takeshi’s downfall. And not by weakening him, because Takeshi, even though wounded so much by him, found the strength to get up again. It scared people. But the Hoshi Gang feared nothing and only saw that he has managed to cause a fall. He made it possible and them eager.

And even though he knew Takeshi was fighting, with the poison, the enemy… it felt as if he gave up. He was doing all the right things, saving his fiancé, quietly preparing his gang to win with the enemy, and was usually masochistic. Refusing to talk about his life, acting like everything was perfectly fine. It felt like he was a machine, not a human being.

There was no power.

“Do you like it here?”

Satoru jumped out of his skin hearing the familiar voice behind him and turned to face Takeshi.

“I can sneak up on anyone.” Takeshi smiled, childish proudness in his voice.

“I need to work on that.” Satoru wasn’t happy with himself and looked at the mansion. “You need better security system.”

Takeshi nodded. He spent so little time at home that he did not really think about it, but now that the family was here…

“You look terrible.”

“Thanks.” Takeshi could not care less.

Satoru put hands in his pockets and took a good look at him, eyebrows furrowed. “What is going on with you?”

Takeshi blinked. “What?”

“I know you’re hurt,” Satoru said. “The poison, the accident, the surgery… But why are you giving up?”

“I am not giving up,” Takeshi sounded a little irritated. “I am tired. Do I need to hide it in my home too?”

He shook his head. “It’s not that.” He wasn’t sure what exactly he meant himself. He could read Katsu, and…

What if they were not that different from each other? Maybe the comparison wasn’t the worst idea? This kid confused him. He tried to keep his mind open and yet Takeshi remained a mystery.

“Do you believe that you are going to survive?” He asked suddenly.

Huh? “No.” Takeshi had no doubts.

“Are you going to win this war?”

“I might not see the end of it, but I will make sure we will win.”

Satoru nearly cringed. “So you will try to survive for as long as possible.”

“I am taking the meds, aren’t I?” Takeshi shrugged. “Nalin wants to give me chemo, too.”

“Oh. That.” At the beginning he thought it was a good idea, but the memories were telling him otherwise.

“He created his own version, something really strong. He hopes it will stop the poison, but,” he shrugged again, “at least it might slow it down.”

Satoru’d never see him shrug about anybody else’s health. “You’re already weak, the chemo will ruin you.” He was always brutally honest.

Another shrug.

Satoru shook his head. “This is the issue.”

“Huh?”

“Why are you like this? You had your ass kicked so hard and so many times in the past year, and you just make it worse for yourself. You don’t let anybody even mention what’s happening to you, it’s probably a miracle you at least let Nalin help you, yet it is probably just because you ‘need’ to be alive to save others, you take no care of yourself, protesting against any sleep or comfort, and what is the bullshit with you starving yourself?” He breathed out. It frustrated him so much when he did not understand the one who he was meant to protect.

Takeshi starred at him and he could not guess what he was thinking. Satoru growled to himself which put a smile on Takeshi’s face.

“I can’t control it,” Takeshi said quietly, the wind louder. “It’s…” he sighed. How do you explain it? He never did to anyone but Isao. And why was he doing it now and that to Satoru? “It is like my mind constantly works too fast and does not know whether it wants to be happy or sad, so it jumps from one extreme to another and I work so hard to just appear ‘normal’, but sometimes it is impossible. I wake up and wonder if today I will hate myself and want to end this because it is so exhausting, or will I suddenly love myself and my confidence will skyrocket for no reason. Or is it going to be so bad that I will lock myself up ready to do it, but then the guilt will hit even harder and I will spend hell knows how long debating whether my death would cause such damage to the business that it is too selfish to do? And then the hatred will grow, because next I will think that I am considering my feelings to be more important than my family’s, only to question myself why I even think that anybody would care about me in the first place. And suddenly something that wouldn’t even have any meaning to you would happen and I would forget about the self-hatred because everything will seem bright again, but a moment later my brain will decide that it wasn’t enough.” He looked away for a moment and breathed in. “There are days when I stop from killing myself only because I think it is selfish, just so I can hate myself even more. There are days when everything is absolutely fine and I’m planning my future. Starving myself or cutting is really no big deal when you know what I am actually debating. I usually know what’s right or wrong, but my mind constantly wants to convince me that nobody actually cares or loves me and it is difficult to not doubt myself and try to believe that I am not completely worthless.” He wrapped his arms around himself, the air becoming chilly. He felt a little sick, realising he told Satoru so much. “I am trying to just seem fine, but I can’t always help it. It’s exhausting.”

Satoru stood in silence for a while. “Isao knows about all of this, right?” His concern grew with every word and he did not know what to say.

“He knows better than me.” Takeshi smiled sadly.

“Okay, listen to me carefully. I do not know you as well as Isao, so you need to keep on telling me stuff like this. I will learn eventually, but you need to give me time.” Satoru had no idea that Takeshi had such issues.

“You really take this job seriously, huh?”

Satoru sighed. “Maybe if my son took it more seriously, you wouldn’t look like this now.”

Takeshi shook his head. “Isao saved my life countless of times. You guys criticise him, but my biggest enemy is myself and sometimes I do not even realise what I am doing, but Isao does, and he stops me. Every single time.”

“How much worse have I made it when I attacked you?” Satoru was not sure why he asked.

Takeshi seemed taken aback with the sudden question. “Isao and Kisumi found me and took to the hospital. I know they have been there till they tried to wake me up and I started crying from pain,” he cringed ashamed and for a moment Satoru wondered if he really could blame the men leaving him on himself, too. “The boys stayed by my side, helped me get back on my feet, then I disappeared because I did not want to scare people with how I looked, and I was in horrible pain all the time... Nalin healed me, mentally too, and forced to come back to life. Besides, Sousuke needed me, I had to.” He blinked. “And then you knocked me down again.”

“Knocked down…” Satoru shook his head.

“They took me to England. I had an urge to kill myself when I stood on the edge of the cliff, but Isao stopped me. The journey helped a lot.” His mind did get his way finally, he thought. What was its obsession with cliffs? Clearly they did not prove effective. Takeshi looked at Satoru who seemed to be fighting with himself, clearly wanting to ask him something. “Go on. You know I don’t open up. Ask while I am blabbering everything out.”

“You’ve lost a child.” Satoru said and regretted it the same second Takeshi’s face whitened.

“Isao told you that?” He whispered. Why?

“I’ve assumed it was my fault.” Satoru said, now suspicious. Why wouldn’t he?

“Yours?”

“When I hit you. In your club.”

Takeshi sighed. He was not going to keep up the lie. “I collapsed in the club after you hit me because Nalin poisoned me. They could not wake me up and I was worsening very quickly, nobody could figure out what was happening to me. Then Nalin came and told them that the drugs made me this sick because of hormones, so they did tests and found out that I am pregnant.” He swallowed hard. “Isao had no choice, if he did not let the doctors force a miscarriage, the baby and me would die.” He breathed slowly, feeling himself tearing up.

“And you still forgave Nalin.” Satoru cocked his head. Interesting.

“I forgave a lot of people over time.” Takeshi shrugged. He did not see it as his fault. “And I never forgave the wrong person. I’ve always read people well.” He scratched his neck. “Nalin and me were enemies, when we became alliances, we could not hold whatever happened between us against each other. If not him, I would have died after the first time you attacked me. I forgave you, for everything you have done, and so far I got a potion for Isao out of it,” he chuckled. “Isao broke me when he left me, but I know he did it to save me and came back when he knew he made a mistake.”

“Do you trust him?” Satoru asked.

Takeshi looked at him shocked.

“Do you trust that he is never going to leave your side again?”

“I do not doubt his loyalty as a bodyguard. As a fiancé, though…” Takeshi lifted his shoulders in wonder. “I am surprised he did not already.”

“You don’t know why he is with you, do you?”

“I always joked that it was my looks,” Takeshi grinned and laughed when Satoru rolled his eyes. “Hey, you dated my father.”

“So?”

“So you have no right to judge your son’s taste.”

“You look different to your father.” Satoru crossed the arms over his chest, teasing.

“Was he prettier than me?” Takeshi was up for the game.

“He wasn’t pretty. He was handsome.”

“It is this feminine bullshit again, isn’t?”

“Totally.”

It was Takeshi’s turn to roll his eyes.

“I can see him in you,” Satoru decided to give him what he wanted. “It is impossible not to. But you’re a… softer version of him.”

“Weaker, you mean.”

“I do not think you are weak,” Satoru disagreed. “I know how tough you can be, I’ve been watching you for a very long time. But you have the sensitivity your father never had. Innocence, even.”

“I am far from innocent,” Takeshi laughed.

“You know what I mean.” He looked at Takeshi as if trying to figure something out. “Your father was trained to be a boss since he was a child, taught that nothing else matters. I was trained to be a human shield since I was a child, taught that I am on this world only for one purpose. We did not know any different. Love only meant trouble and whatever it was that we had was more than enough considering how little we had before. Neither could show the other the right way, really.” A sigh. “You have changed the mafia world more than you think, Takeshi.” And it was the boy standing in front of him, so weak looking ready to fall. He did not deserve to be so sick. “You’re all love and sensitiveness and family while being the boss. You know how to be it all. It will take time to get used to.”

“You’re not as much of a stranger as you think you are.” Takeshi said quietly. “But here you are meant to care for more than one person. Isao is so happy to have you back.”

“Nobody is happy that I am back, kid.” Satoru appreciated the bullshit, but please. “But I would be more concerned if they did not care about what I did to you.” Maybe he was.

“They will get over it,” Takeshi dismissed the idea and Satoru wondered why he acted like it was something to forget about in the first place. The sun shined on his cheek where the bruise that never healed was. “Isao loves you. And he needs you. You obviously met before to discuss this business,” he pointed at himself with a smile, “so it cannot be that bad between you two.”

“He regretted it the moment he asked me.”

“Isao is a result of your teachings and me stepping my foot down.” Takeshi grinned. “He is so smart and realistic, but he also loves me and even if something would be better for me, he is not going to do it if it will hurt or upset me.”

“Well… It depends from which side you look at it. On one hand he knew the danger and went to the man he knew could keep you safe, which was of course smart. On the other hand he threw you back in arms of a person who nearly murdered you, which is the least smart thing he could do. He gambled with your life.” His son was fighting with himself whenever he saw him.

Takeshi snorted. “Only you could make it sound so bad.”

Satoru lifted the corner of his lips. “I admit, I would not do it. I would never trust your father’s life in his near-murderer’s hands.”

“It isn’t what you told Isao, is it?” Takeshi cocked an eyebrow.

“No.” He smiled. “Maybe he has a better instinct than me. He made the right choice.”

“Oh, of course,” Takeshi chuckled. “It is you after all.”

Satoru patted his chest. “I’ve only nearly lost you once within a week, great effort so far,” he said sarcastically. He was bitter about letting Takeshi get hurt. All this talking about how great of a bodyguard he was and he let this kid nearly die within a few days of protecting him.

Loser. Satoru could not help but stare at his unmoving arm once in a while. It was a reminded like the bruise on his cheek.

“Well, you will lose me.” Takeshi said, the voice monotone, and Satoru stopped himself from shaking him. “I want you to make it right between you and Isao,” he stated.

“Why do you care?”

“Because he needs all the reasons to stay with you guys when my time comes.” Isao had to live.

Satoru starred at him in silence. “If you love him, you will let this boy follow you.” He said the truest thing since they started speaking.

“You stayed. You know it is worth it.” It would hurt but Isao would learn to live without him.

“I locked myself away, only came out for fights, and finally snapped and nearly murdered you.” Satoru scoffed.

“You became my bodyguard, helped save your son, and, well, considering Isao is like a dad to Sousuke, theoretically you have more than one grandchild and also a great-grandchild now.” Takeshi finished a little unsure. “You have a family. If you want one.”

“Takeshi, everybody is rightfully a little more cautious than you when it comes to me.” Satoru appreciated what he said, but he was a realist. “Sousuke would be insane if he let me close to his child, he will never consider me family, and if your men would have trusted me so quickly it would be a disaster and I would seriously become concerned for your safety. I am glad they all hate me. And I am worried how quickly you trusted me.”

“He’s your son,” Takeshi heard nothing. “How can you ask me to let him die?”

“You do not understand and you never will understand how attached Isao is to you.” Satoru tried to explain. “You love him and you can’t imagine your life without him. But he…” It was difficult. “He is part of you. When you will die, he will die with you. What will be left is this soulless thing that will only grow angry and hateful, and…”

“He has family. A dad, sons and a grandchild. Kisumi is in love, he and Ren might get married and have their own children. He’s needed. Sousuke will lose me, I doubt he will care too much, but he will have Isao to turn to, as always. The whole family will carry on. They love him. He is young, he will find someone else. Why should he die just because I will?” Takeshi swallowed hard. For the first time he felt bitter pain in his chest. He was not a selfish person and he had little self-worth. He loved his family so he wanted them to forget and move on and be happy. He saw himself as a burden that only pulled them down. But, God, when he imagined his fiancé with someone else, probably making him happier than he ever managed, having children he never could give him, being free of stress and duties and his problems, everybody staying together and continuing celebrating life, with time forgetting about him completely…

Jealousness and bitterness and sadness burnt his heart.

“You do not want to die.” Satoru knew what he was thinking, he saw tears in his eyes and Takeshi quickly blinked them away. “Maybe you’re not as bad as I thought you are.” It was concerning how accepting of his death Takeshi seemed, but maybe deep inside he was not. And that was good.

“I am trying to be wise.”

“Try to be human. You will make it easier for everyone.”

Takeshi did not say anything and noticed James rushing towards them.

“What’s wrong?” Takeshi asked when he stopped in front of him, a little out of breath.

“Nanase is here.” James blatantly ignored Satoru who starred at him. “Do you want me to eat him?”

“No.” Takeshi snorted, but slapped James upside the head for good measure. “What did he say?”

“He wants to talk. Dude looks like a zombie.” James cringed.

**

“Nanase.” Takeshi met him in the living room. Zombie was certainly a correct description. The man was never someone he would look at for longer than necessary, but he seemed to have aged years within weeks.

“I’ve trusted you to help me find my son,” Nanase did not waste time. “I’ve heard fuck all since.”

“I am doing everything I can.” Takeshi did not feel like kicking a man who was already dead.

“Do you?” Nanase snorted and Takeshi realised he has missed this disgusted look. “I don’t remember the last time you provided any information, all I hear lately is that the Yakuza Boss is dying. Is that true?”

Takeshi felt his blood starting to boil. “I am doing you a favour, Nanase, do not overstep your line,” he said, voice low.

“Where is my son?” He snapped, stopping himself nevertheless, knowing that he needs his life to save Haru’s.

“With Rin, most likely. Haru is alive. Just like Rin.”

“How can you be so sure?” he whispered, madness in eyes. It’s been too long.

“Because they would never kidnap those kids just to kill them. It would be pointless. Trust me, they would have let you know if they killed your son.”

“But why are they saying nothing?”

“They are trying to weaken my gang first. They took the kids for information, but they will keep them till they can use them against us. They are not in a rush.”

“They seem to be, when I look at you.” Nanase cocked his head, reminding Takeshi of all the times he stuck his nose into their business. “And you cannot blame me for questioning your ways when I see you trusting your life in hands of your near murderer.” When he heard the rumours, he did not believe them. Takeshi was known for killing people who crossed him, not bringing them home. People did not dare to betray him, because they knew the karma would come looking like their bloody nightmares. When Satoru attacked him, Nanase even felt sorry for Takeshi, seeing the videos of him needing to be held up by his men. He hated the guy, but the amount of hatred that Satoru had to feel that day actually scared him. As a policeman he could sometimes see the damage caused to this man, especially if accidents were involved, but they hid fights that were happening home. This time he was glad he could see nothing, the descriptions were enough.

“Now that is definitely none of your business.” Takeshi said, unmoved. “I think I am very close to finding out where they are.”

“What is the plan?” Finally something.

“We need to rescue the boys before attacking the gang, obviously. So once I am sure that I know where they are, we will get them quietly, and then we can fight.”

“I want to go.” Nanase said.

“No.” Takeshi disagreed. “Last thing I need is a desperate father there ruining everything.” The truth was, he did not know what happened to Haru. They could have done anything to this boy. And Nanase losing it would end up with all of them dying.

“I am a policeman, I know how to act in such situations.” Nanase snapped.

“Bullshit. He is your son.” If it were Sousuke in Haru’s place, Takeshi would never remain calm.

“You expect me to trust you to save my son?” Nanase snorted desperately.

“It’s what you did when you asked me for help.” Takeshi cocked his head. “I have no interest in killing your son, losing him would be a failure for my gang. I will bring him back to you.” He just wasn’t sure whether alive or not.

“You will just make me wait.” Nanase sounded broken and for a moment Takeshi felt sorry for him.

“We will be in contact.” Takeshi promised.

**

“You can breath out.” Satoru chuckled when Nanase was out of the door. He could see Takeshi holding himself straight and powerful, and he would be fooled if he did not know the truth, so he was quite impressed.

Takeshi gave him a look, but did exactly that and lay down on the sofa. He saw Satoru moving towards him and he sat on the floor by his head, opening himself a beer.

“You really think those kids are alive?” Satoru asked.

“What would be the point of killing them?” Takeshi mumbled, cheek on the pillow. “They would have told us if they did.”

“They have not done anything with them since they kidnapped them, don’t you think it is alarming?”

“Satoru, just say what’s on your mind, my brain is shutting down,” Takeshi mumbled and grasped his sleeve.

He looked at him, Takeshi half asleep already. “Maybe they are waiting for you to come to them.”

“That’s why we have to be very quiet.” Takeshi put his finger up to his mouth with a small smile on his face.

“Takeshi, this is not a game.” Satoru leaned in closer. “They want you to die. And that as painfully as possible.”

“I obviously know that. I think they might actually let me get those kids quite easily.”

“Why would they?”

“Because they know that having Rin back here will either mean that I will kill him and Sousuke will turn against me, or I will keep him, and then they will have insight into my gang.”

“So you do know how stupid your decision to keep him is then.” Satoru could not help the sarcastic tone.

Takeshi mumbled something, falling asleep against his wish. Satoru looked at the fingers still holding his sleeve, and not knowing whether Takeshi was the type to wake up if he would be moved, with a sigh leaned against the sofa and drank his beer.

**

Nobu walked downstairs with rest of the men, cleaning devices in their hands. They stopped chattering seeing Takeshi sleeping on the sofa, and, Nobu smiled to himself, Satoru sitting by him like a protective dog.

“Is he okay?” Nobu asked quietly, knowing that others will blank Satoru.

“He’s just sleeping.” Satoru responded, eyes on them. He might have been sitting, but they did not feel any taller than him.

They heard the door opening and James walked in, still stinking of fags he was having outside, hair a complete mess from the wind. He walked up to Takeshi, complete lack of fear of Satoru, and he bent to place a wet kiss on Takeshi’s cheek.

“Ew.” Takeshi cringed in his sleep.

“How was Nanase, baby?” James made sure to keep his lips on his cheek for even longer this time, seeing Satoru’s face.

“Nanase?” Iwao asked surprised.

Satoru shook his head in disbelief.

“Have you seen how fucking big this house is?” Iwao snapped and Nobu sighed. “Couldn’t hear shit upstairs when we were cleaning which you told us to do!”

“Sure, blame it on me,” Satoru snorted.

“You’ve told them to clean my house?” Takeshi started laughing.

“You’ve told me to, don’t you remember?” Satoru pretended to be surprised and stood up to walk away from all of them.

It took the men three seconds to sit around Takeshi.

“I did not.” Takeshi yawned. “Thank you, though.”

“We just cleaned up after ourselves, boo.” Kin sat behind him and threw his legs over Takeshi’s middle. “What?” He noticed Nobu’s disapproving look. “I am not sitting on him.”

“Congratulations.” Nobu rolled his eyes.

“Your fat ass would kill him.” Iwao sat on the coffee table opposite to them.

“I ain’t fat!” Kin gasped. “I’ve put on a little, but it’s because of Isao’s mom!”

“Are you seriously blaming the woman who feeds you?”

“I would sell my soul to this woman, but it does not change the fact that my lack of control when it comes to her food resulted in me… gaining a little bit.”

“You need to re-join the gym.”

“You need to mind your own fucking business.”

Nobu smiled to Takeshi while Iwao and Kin continued on bitch-fighting, moving further away, James laughing quietly while sitting by Takeshi’s head.

“Nanase is just getting frustrated.” Takeshi tried to lift himself up into a sitting position, but Nobu put his hand on his arm.

“Cannot blame him, really.” Nobu shrugged, sitting on the floor by his face. “What’s the plan?”

“We need to get Rin and Haru before attacking them properly, otherwise they would take it out on them,” Takeshi said quietly. “I think this will make them start a war. And you know to whom the police will turn to when they will attack citizens.”

“You don’t want to make this a gang war, you want them to be the enemy and you and your people the saviours working with police.” Nobu chuckled. “Smartass.”

“The police do not care about the current attacks because they’re between the gangs. If I would start a war, they would make it a gang war and we would take the blame. This way we are going to be the good guys.” And Takeshi could not stop himself from watching Nobu closely waiting to see if his expression will change. But his hand continued to stroke his, worry about him in his eyes.

“Sounds good.”

**

“I won’t be able to go, will I?” Isao said the sad truth after he listened to Takeshi talking about previous day’s visit.

“I bet you really wanted to save Rin.” Takeshi chuckled, sitting by his side. Satoru was sat on the sofa reading the magazine about boxing that the boys brought Isao a few days earlier.

“I would have thrown him into the sea.”

“He can swim, darling.”

“Oh, right.”

Takeshi chuckled. How long it’s been since they chatted about his baby son falling for some swimmer on his team. Rin was a cute kid, all pink hair and huge grin. He’d never imagine him to become a man who would poison to kill him.

“We will be quick.”

“You know, that’s not such a bad idea.” Satoru suddenly spoke up.

“What?” They both looked at him confused.

“We can always arrange for Rin to accidentally die on our way out.” He shrugged. “Problem solved.”

“I am not planning to break my son’s heart.” Takeshi said softly.

“Sure, let him love the one who murdered his father.” What the fuck.

Takeshi did not say anything.

“I do not understand why you want this kid to live.” Satoru continued.

“Because my son loves him.”

“You think he would want to be with him if he knew?”

Takeshi shrugged. “I think so.”

“Takeshi...” Isao shook his head.

“He told me that he will kill me if I will hurt you.” Satoru said suddenly, but seeing the shock on his face, realised he did the right thing. “He’s protective for someone who would not care if you died.”

“I know he would care.” Somehow. “So he is going to be hurt and will need Rin even more.”

“Is he always this stupid?” Satoru looked at Isao who nodded.

Takeshi bit the inside of his cheek. He heard enough crap for today. He stood up ignoring their questioning eyes and walked out.

**

He sat outside in the sun, cup of coffee in his hand. Sometimes it really was impossible to make the right choice. Yes, letting Rin get away with what he did to the mafia’s boss was more than wrong. Not telling his son that he loves the boy who in the end will be his father’s killer, seemed sick. Making his men, fiancé included, tolerate him and act as if he was not responsible, was cruel.

And yet he wondered what difference Rin’s death would make. It would not fix anything, it would only cause Sousuke more pain. The betrayal, the loss. Of him, of his boyfriend.

Or would Rin’s punishment make them feel better? The ‘fairness’ of it? Would it help them heal?

“Hey, dad!”

Takeshi jumped nearly spilling the coffee over himself. Sousuke put his hands on top of his shoulders to calm him down.

“Sorry.” He quickly sat by him. “Did not mean to scare you.”

“Don’t worry,” Takeshi chuckled.

“You look a little better today.” Sousuke smiled. He’d lie if he’d say he looked healthy, he could not remember the last time he did. Sometimes he missed the days when his father was so cruel, their relationship cold, but at least he was strong and healthy. It felt as if he bought his heart back, paying with his health.

If magic was real, Sousuke would bet his father made a deal with some devil. So they would have it easier, while he suffered.

“A little?” Takeshi pouted his lips.

“How’s your hand?” Sousuke asked.

Takeshi looked down at it, encased in black bandage, shawl around him to keep it pressed to his chest. “It will heal eventually.”

“Any improvement with Isao?”

“Not yet…” Takeshi murmured.

Sousuke sighed quietly. But he promised to himself that he was not going to give up. He was going to keep asking, and show he cares, and his father will trust him eventually.

“I assume you want to rescue Rin when we will find them,” Takeshi began and his heart hurt seeing Sousuke’s eyes brightening.

“Obviously!”

“You need to prepare the boys to be ready for any fight to break out while we are gone.” Takeshi said. “But without telling them what we are going to do.”

“You want the least people to know, so you want to get him quietly, right?”

“Them, Sousuke.” Takeshi smiled. “We are getting both Haru and Rin.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He shrugged. “God, I can finally bring Rin back to Sayomi.” He looked quickly to the side hearing the sharp intake of breath. “You okay, dad?”

“Yeah. Yeah…” Takeshi shook his head, embarrassed. Bring the dad to Sayomi, huh? Rin was not just Sousuke’s love. They had a child. He could not kill him or let anybody else, how would he ever explain it to the little sunshine, his own granddaughter?

“Are you scared?”

Takeshi looked at him confused.

“Alright, alright, I bet you’ve done worse.” Sousuke chuckled.

“When I think about it, I think I had to save every single one of my men at least once.” Takeshi smiled, remembering. So many memories they’ve made over the years. They were such brats trying to become best of the best, have made mistakes and won so much, from friends became family. They never left him, even when he pushed them away, and yet he felt as if they were more separated now after he opened up.

Maybe he should come back to his old ways with them, too, he had to be unbearable being the way he really was.

He snapped out of it when Sousuke shook him lightly. “What?”

“You’re not contacting half of the things I say.” He left his hand on top of his shoulder. “Did someone upset you?” He looked so, starring forward with his mind busy, something bothering him, eyes a little glassy.

“It’s nothing,” he shrugged. They were quiet for a bit. “You are still practicing, right?” He wanted his son to win Olympics. Once upon a time, this was all Sousuke wanted. And Takeshi wanted to see it happen.

“I am attending the gang meetings.”

“No.” Takeshi shook his head. “The swimming. I got you a coach.”

“I am, grandma babysits Sayomi so I can practice.” Sousuke smiled.

“Good.” Takeshi nodded to himself. “When are Olympics?”

“In a few weeks.”

“Good,” Takeshi repeated. He should still be alive then.

Sousuke starred at him and finally moved closer and faced him, Takeshi focusing for a moment. “What’s wrong, dad?”

“Nothing.” Takeshi hugged himself with his healthy arm.

Sousuke noticed the defensive behaviour. “You know…” He smiled a little unsure. “There are certain issues I will see no matter how many times you will say ‘nothing’.” When his father looked at him confused, he continued. “The panic attacks, the anxiety, you were the one who got me help, you knew before I did. I talked with psychologists. You think I can’t see that you’re having problems?”

“God, what it came to, my own son diagnosing me,” Takeshi said quietly, not angry, just tired.

“There’s nothing wrong with being sick. Isn’t that what you told me?” Sousuke cocked his head. His father seemed on edge of breaking down.

Takeshi smiled, eyes shining even more. “I think it’s a little different in my case.”

“Boss or not, you’re still a human being. I would be more concerned if after everything that happened to you, you would be just fine.” Amazingly his father somehow got up after all the attacks and accidents. But maybe it was not possible to just ‘deal’ with some nightmares. They were meant to come back to hit you all at once sooner or later.

“I am just tired, Sousuke.” Here he was, back to dissing. “And there is a lot going on. I am used to accidents and such.” A shrug. “Satoru was my nightmare, but since we made it right again…”

“Have you, really?” He doubted.

“We’ve talked a lot.”

“I thought you’ve lost it when I heard that you went with him.” Sousuke shook his head.

“We do crazy things for the ones we love.” Takeshi touched his unmoving arm, unaware. He would go there again if he had to.

“It wasn’t Satoru who hurt you, right?” Sousuke had to know.

“If not Satoru, I would have never came back.” Takeshi moved forward and put his hand on Sousuke’s cheek. “I trust him.”

“If he is going to hurt you…” Sousuke threatened.

“You’re going to kill him? Takeshi chuckled seeing the shock on his boy’s face.

“He told you?!”

“He did not tell on you, he just wanted to prove a point.” Takeshi stayed close, their arms touching.

“You would not be so cold if you weighted more, you know?” Sousuke watched him shiver. It was such a sunny, warm day.

“You’re on a roll today, huh?” Takeshi jokingly punched him in his arm. Outch.

Sousuke looked at him and then lifted his hand to wrap it around his arm. Too easily encased it whole. “I should not be able to do that. You know it.”

Takeshi cringed. “Stop.” Enough.

Sousuke let him go. He did not want to upset him, he just wanted him to realise what he was doing to himself. Sousuke was not sure whether he finally opened his eyes or his father has gotten worse, but no matter what he wore, everything hang on his bony shoulders and you could see it.

His arm was the size of his father’s thigh.

“Why you are not eating again?”

“I am eating. I was in a coma after an accident and brain surgery, let me bounce back, okay?” For God’s sake.

“If you say you will…” Sousuke cracked a smile seeing Takeshi rolling his eyes. He knew he pissed him off.

“I’ve got enough strength to get your brat back, don’t worry.”

Sousuke blinked surprised. “This isn’t about Rin.”

Before Takeshi could answer, James who showed up from nowhere threw himself at him, encasing Takeshi in a tight hug.

“Jesus.” Takeshi breathed out shakily.

“Just James.” He put a big, wet kiss on his cheek. “Did I scare you?” He noticed Sousuke’s arms holding onto Takeshi, so he would not fall off the bench.

“Nah.” He put his hand on his heart.

Sousuke wondered when his father began being so jumpy and he pondered whether Satoru had something to do with it. Did he really trust him? Or his brain knew one thing, but heart another?

“Sorry.” James pressed their cheeks together, arms wrapped around him. “You’re free tonight?”

“Of course.” 

Hunger called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	80. The Funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I could always count on you.

“Your house was never this full.”

Naoko’s voice was empty as he stood in the bedroom Takeshi prepared for him. He left the hospital to attend the funeral, explaining that his family deserves everything that he could give them – and there was nothing else he could do anymore but watch the caskets being put to the ground. But he will stand there, he said, and watch.

To punish himself, Takeshi thought, knowing he would do the same.

“And loud.” Takeshi added.

Everything Naoko owed was gone, so Takeshi bought him everything he could need and placed it carefully around the bedroom. Some clothes, toiletries, a computer and even left cash hidden in a book. Maybe Naoko would decide to go for a walk one day and want to buy himself something - but he wouldn’t have thought of getting the cash first. Isao chuckled that he thought of any possibility, as always.

“Thank you.” Naoko turned to face him, face blank. “I appreciate what you are doing, you know that, right?”

Takeshi smiled warmly. “It’s what friends do.”

“Right…”

“You know you can always speak to me, about anything?” Takeshi asked.

“I don’t really feel like speaking at all.” Naoko lifted his shoulders and let them drop lifelessly.

“I don’t mind sitting in silence, either.”

Naoko could not smile. But there was appreciation in his eyes.

**

“You’re very quiet today.”

Isao half-sat in bed, Takeshi right by his side. He knew Takeshi was busy preparing the funeral for Naoko’s family. It was taking a visible tool on him and they were not speaking much since.

“The funeral’s tomorrow.”

“I am sorry I can’t be there.”

“Me too.”

Isao shook his head. He did not want him to feel guilty, but Takeshi was the type of a person who always will. And Isao loved him for the heart and soul in the world of so much selfishness and insensitiveness.

“How’s your hand?”

It was pressed tightly to Takeshi’s chest with a black shawl. Isao touched the cold fingers, not reacting to him at all.

“It does not hurt.”

“My legs don’t either.”

“Well then, at least we have two legs and three hands working between us.”

They were quiet. And then Isao chuckled, Takeshi looking up at him, weird smile on his face. They had no idea what they were laughing about and when they finished, the silence hit them even harder and it felt wrong to laugh in the first place.

“I do not know how to help him,” Takeshi said quietly and Isao understood what was draining him.

“You’ve done everything you could.” There was no doubt.

“His boys were just a little older than our sons,” Takeshi whispered. “They were meant to get degrees. Grow up. Live. His wife wanted another baby. They were trying for it. And now they’re all gone.” His voice broke at the end and he turned his head away, breathing slowly feeling his chest tightening up. What was he meant to say that would not sound like a lie, how could he convince Naoko to live when he could not convince his own fiancé, when he knew that if he were in their shoes, nobody would have convinced him?

Isao pulled him into his arms, wrapping them tightly around him. What was he meant to say? Neither of them even wanted to imagine how Naoko was feeling. Isao did not even let it cross his mind that he might find out, and that soon.

Nothing they would say would make it better, but if Isao knew one thing, it was that Takeshi had an amazing ability in recognising how others felt - unless it was about Takeshi himself - and he always acted, not talked. This was why Isao knew that if anybody could help, it was Takeshi.

And Takeshi helped them all.

**

Ren swallowed hard sitting by his father, in front of Takeshi. They were in the kitchen, house empty.

“I was arguing with Sousuke and said that he is blind for not seeing that you are sick and I’ve told Kisumi that I heard my dad telling you how to take medicine. So Kisumi decided to investigate and we broke into my dad’s office. I… sort of figured out what can possibly be happening, but I lied that I do not understand any of the notes.” Ren considered himself brave and when his father told him that he would have to tell Takeshi everything, he nodded and did as told. But he did not look him into the eyes, it would be no braveness but foolishness.

Everybody was quiet for a while.

“Well, that explains why Sousuke started acting differently,” Takeshi murmured.

Theoretically he should punish Ren, but he did not really see the point. Punish for what? Seeing the obvious and speaking about it? Yes, he should not have mentioned the conversation between Nalin and him, but at least he did it to his boyfriend, not Sousuke. It did make Takeshi worry, though, because Kisumi could tell Sousuke, if he did not already.

“I told him not to tell.” Ren added, guessing what Takeshi was thinking about.

“Oh, Ren.” Takeshi chuckled.

“What do you want me to do?” Nalin asked Takeshi.

“Maybe just hide our stuff a little better.” He smiled. “The house is full of people now, we have to be careful where we talk.”

Nalin’s look was full of disapproval, but Takeshi could see the sincere apology in Ren’s eyes. There was no point in making a big deal out of it. He had bigger problems.

“I am sorry.” Ren hung his head in shame.

“Just make sure Kisumi and Sousuke won’t find out more.” Takeshi nodded to him and Ren looked up stressed.

This was the punishment.

**

“I am sorry for him.” Nalin came back to the kitchen once he let Ren out of the house.

Takeshi was still sat there, hand around his cup of coffee.

“Don’t worry about it.” Takeshi rubbed his eyes.

“Tired?” Nalin sat close.

“My head hurts.” Takeshi winced. It was blinding him and he lifted his hand and pressed his fingers harshly to his temple. It did worry him, reminding him of the pain he felt when he had a tumour. Was the bastard growing back already?

“We need to check on you.” Nalin said quietly.

“No.” Fuck that.

“You are going to go to hospital to see Isao tonight anyway. Let us run a scan.”

“No.” He was not going to give them another excuse to put him in bed.

Nalin bit his lip. “The chemo…”

“No.” Fuck THAT.

Takeshi jumped out of his skin when Nalin slammed his fist against the table. He did not sense him getting angry, but now he stood up over him and leaned in, eyes furious.

“Listen to me very carefully. I am not going to be nodding to your self destructive behaviour, when I say you need a fucking scan, you will get a fucking scan, and we will finally start preparing for the chemo before it’s too late!”

Takeshi opened his mouth. And closed. “You’re suppose to be my friend…”

“Exactly!”

**

Takeshi closed his eyes as he was lying in an MRI machine. Nalin and the other doctor were telling him to relax and not move.

“I don’t want to know,” he said quietly, not sure if they will hear. He was not going to do anything about whatever they will find. It seemed to him that to keep him alive he should live in a hospital and that was completely pointless to him. It wasn’t a life worth living. He would die anyway, after months in a hospital, sick from surgeries and drugs. It was pointless. He preferred to live a shorter life, but one with his family and friends, enjoying life as much as he could, ensuring Yakuza and businesses were ready for the change. He was not dying for anybody, he was not stopping them from looking for a cure, he was taking the drugs that were extending his life and keeping him on his legs, not taking more to feel better and die faster. He just wanted to live, not exist till his death, and he drew a line for himself.

“How did you manage to bring him here?” The doctor asked, sitting behind the glass with Nalin standing over him.

“I shouted at him.”

The doctor nearly laughed. He wanted to ask, but the scan generated on the screens of the computer. “It’s grown,” he stated the obvious. It’s been such a short time since they cut the tumour out and it was already growing back.

“But not much.” Nalin saw the positive. “The chemo should get rid of it.”

“Takeshi is not going to take the chemo now, you know it.” The doctor smiled sadly. Nalin’s determination was heart-warming and Takeshi needed people like him in his life so badly. If nobody would fight for him, he would have died a long time ago.

“I will make him.”

“Nalin, the chemo will put him in bed for weeks. He won’t allow it considering he has Isao to take care of now.”

“Isao has his parents, friends and a son. He does not need Takeshi.”

“Isao wants to save Takeshi, it’s Takeshi who wants to sacrifice himself for everybody around him.”

“And we are going to stop him.”

He looked at Nalin with slight surprise, but his face was determined, eyes focused on the scan, and he reminded him of the old Nalin he was scared of. “I leave it to you.”

“Good.” Nalin nodded. He was going to save him. End of.

**

“I am here.”

Naoko closed his eyes. Takeshi was back and he could let him be his strength for a moment again.

They were in the church, standing in first row. There were no caskets. Not yet. All the men and women of Yakuza stood around him. The wives came back especially for them. To support. To protect. Today nobody else was more important.

Takeshi slipped his hand into his. Naoko focused on his touch, knowing it was about to begin.

He could not prepare anything. He wrapped his arms around himself when Takeshi showed up one night, fearing he might ask. But he only asked if there was anything that was a must.

Naoko shook his head, lost.

Takeshi stayed nevertheless and they sat together in the quiet room, blanket wrapped around them. No notepads, no documents, no pens.

Naoko could not talk about a funeral. But he could talk about his family.

The last holiday they spent together, they visited beautiful cities. And one night they ate outside in a restaurant, a candle on each table, amazing old buildings around them. There was a young man playing on a violin close by. They listened and Naoko watched his family knowing he was the luckiest man alive.

He hummed the song to Takeshi.

And Takeshi made it play today as they brought his family to him for the last time.

He told him of the flowers he always bought his wife for their anniversary.

He opened his eyes when the music stopped, and they were placed beautifully on the three white caskets in front of him.

Naoko did not listen to what the priest said. He only heard the vows his wife spoke to him on the day of their wedding. And he saw his children’s little faces as they christened them, too. In the same church they were all in today.

They were meant to watch his funeral. That’s how the world was meant to work.

Takeshi’s hand was so thin and cold in his.

“Thank you,” Naoko whispered to him.

**

Naoko was not sure how he arrived at the cemetery.

Here there were no lies. He could imagine nothing, but see his family dead in front of him. Maybe the rain washed away his desperate imagination.

“No.”

Takeshi breathed in when Naoko dropped to his knees in front of the caskets and Takeshi lifted his hand, ordering the men to stop lowering them down.

They could barely see with the weather worsening and Takeshi walked up to Naoko, rain soaking him to the bone within seconds of abandoning the umbrellas that others held over his head. He kneeled by Naoko and put his arm over him and kept it there till he felt Naoko’s grasp on the caskets lightening from exhaustion and he pulled him into his arms.

“I can’t do this…” Naoko broke and tears mixed with rain, his choking breath hidden in Takeshi’s coat. “I can’t let go.” His head shook.

“You’re not letting go.” Takeshi said, hugging him tighter, lips pressed to his ear. “They’re always going to be with you. This is just a ceremony to let their bodies rest. But they’re always going to be with you.” He repeated. “Whenever you are.”

“I can’t look…” he whimpered, hiding his face in his neck. “I can’t.” It was his family. His family, dead, being lowered to the ground for him to never see them again. His heart hurt and he held onto Takeshi as if he could make them come back.

“It’s okay.” Takeshi stroked his hair. “I will look for you,” he said quietly, eyes on the men and he nodded his head. Naoko’s hands tightened on him as the machine let out a soft noise.

And then the grave covered them and it became silent.

The ceremony was over.

**

Nobu stole Naoko out of Takeshi’s arms once they reached the house. The both of them were dripping wet, cold and shaking, and probably would have stayed so, Naoko not caring, Takeshi caring too much about him.

“Last thing I need is for you to get sick… er.” Nalin pushed Takeshi to sit by the bath and closed the door to the bathroom. He poured hot water inside, Takeshi watching him. “Come on, take those wet clothes off.” He hurried him up.

“I am pretty sure I was never fully naked in front of you, even when I was completely… vulnerable in your arms.” Takeshi winked, effect slightly ruined by the sneeze that followed. His mind was clouded, not letting himself see more in the funeral than Naoko’s tragedy. It was about Naoko and his family, and only about them, and yet he could not help it crossing his mind - what will his family do when he will be the one lowered to the ground? Could he protect them from that? Naoko’s pain was tearing his body apart and Takeshi did not know how to help him. It was different, he thought, he lost his whole family, his family will only lose him… Takeshi sighed to himself. He really had to stop finding excuses, proofs that his death would cause no damage. Wasn’t insulting to his family, dissing their feelings? Trying to change them? It was not what he was trying to do, though, he just wished they would not care so he would not need to worry.

Fool.

“Actually, you do not know what I was doing with you in that attic considering you were usually unconscious.” Nalin admitted.

Takeshi blinked. “That’s… actually true.” At least Nalin joined him in the desperate humour.

“I’ve seen your naked ass, it is not that impressive. And it is not like you would turn me on, so just undress.”

“Isao would disagree.”

“I’ve got better taste than him.”

Takeshi gasped, making Nalin chuckle, but seeing him not making a move to undress, he reached for him himself.

“Okay, boss, I can still do that myself.” Takeshi caught his wrists. “Turn around.”

Nalin rolled his eyes, but did as told, only turning back to him when he heard the water moving. Takeshi disappeared under it completely and Nalin sat on the floor and leaned with his back against the bath. After a few seconds he felt Takeshi’s warm breath on his neck. “You’re hiding.”

“Me?” Nalin asked surprised.

“Mhm.” He did not need to be here with him.

Nalin sighed. “I have no people skills. It’s better for me to keep away from such situations.”

“Naoko does not expect anything from you,” Takeshi said quietly. While Nalin liked to pretend he only cared about him, it was obvious how much things have changed in the past few weeks. First James, then even Isao, Nalin was clearly growing attached. Besides, when you thought about it, how heartless you would need to be to not care about Naoko’s pain, close friend or not?

“I know he does not. That’s not the point. I wish I could do something for him, but there is nothing I can do.” He did not like to talk, he preferred doing, and here he felt absolutely useless.

“None of us can.” Takeshi brushed behind his ear a streak of hair that escaped the plait. “We can be here for him, and that’s all.”

“Like you do not have it all planned out for him already.” Nalin moved his head towards Takeshi’s touch and smiled to himself.

They were trying to ruin each other only a few months ago.

“He wants revenge, so I will help him get it.”

“It should make him feel better.” He could not think of anything else.

“It will. But now he just needs his peace.”

Nalin nodded.

They looked up hearing knocking and James walked in, gasping theatrically. “I shall tell Isao.”

“You can tell him, it’s rather easy to run away from him now.” Nalin snorted.

“Nalin!” Takeshi opened his mouth in shock, James hanging between wanting to laugh and gaping.

“I can joke about it, he is going to walk soon.” Nalin felt his cheeks brightening in embarrassment, but he was not going to admit it. This was why he was not talking when he did not need to.

Takeshi disappeared under the water again, unsure whether he was meant to punch him or hug him realising that Nalin truly believed that Isao will heal soon.

**

“How was it?” Isao asked Takeshi, and from the moment Takeshi walked inside his room, he noticed there was something wrong.

“Sad…” Takeshi slipped under the blankets and hugged him, which he wanted to do throughout the whole funeral and after. Isao was apologising so much for not being able to be there and Takeshi hated it, as if it was Isao’s fault in the first place. It was his. “I’ve missed you.”

Isao put his cheek on top of his head. Naoko was not aware that Takeshi ensured that absolutely nothing leaked to the media, so they did not even know that a funeral took place. After everything Takeshi have released a lovely picture of the family to the media, short message, and that was it.

It was nobody else’s business but Naoko’s. And Naoko deserved his peace.

“That’s the moment when you say the same back to me.” Takeshi punched him in the side.

“Sorry.” Isao slapped him lightly on the ass. “I just…”

“Hm?” Takeshi moved up and leaned over him. He was starting to get used to living without the feeling in his hand.

“I need to get out of here.” Isao rubbed his eyes angrily. “I am going nuts. I know I am useless now, but, God, maybe I could at least do something at home, and I know I would be a huge fucking problem especially now that nobody has time, but people learn how to deal on their own and I would, too, and…” He did not finish, Takeshi placing his fingers over his mouth.

“Don’t.” Takeshi breathed slowly. “Don’t you dare to say those things about yourself.”

“I am going mad.” Isao caught his hand, keeping it on his lips desperately. He was not sure whether to make him stop talking, or so Takeshi would not leave him.

He feared it. He feared Takeshi leaving him so much.

“Clearly.” Takeshi lifted himself into a sitting position, face determined. “First of all, you will get the feeling in your legs back.”

“I am not so sure.” Isao could not pretend anymore. It’s been a haunting thought for a while now.

“I know you will,” Takeshi whispered. The Magician would not have lied. Nalin would not have lied. “You just need to be patient for a little longer.” It’s only been a few days.

“Like you?” Isao grasped his hand, Takeshi not feeling anything. “You sacrificed yourself for nothing.”

Takeshi closed his eyes for a moment. “I’ve done it to myself.”

“What?” Isao was ensured that he was hurt, let himself be hurt for him.

“I’ve lost my mind.” He tried to be as vague as possible. “It was not something I had to do to get the medicine for you.” It wasn’t a lie, really.

Isao looked at him with slight suspicion. If Takeshi hurting himself had absolutely nothing to do with the trip for him, then he would have told him since the beginning knowing he would blame himself.

They looked up when Satoru walked inside the room and closed the door. “Seems tense.” He left his hand on the handle, ready to come back later.

“Come in.” Isao was going to find out what happened. If not the man who gave them the potion, then who else could push Takeshi to hurt himself? “Sit down.”

Satoru grabbed the chair and sat on his other side, Takeshi was looking down and he wondered whether he told on him to Isao. Satoru did not think that he had done anything, but maybe he just did not notice.

“I took the medicine, so you two can tell me the story now.” Isao knew exactly why they did not before.

Satoru looked at Takeshi. He was not going to say a word without his permission.

“Takeshi.” Isao tightened his hand on his hip. “Come on.”

“Fine.” It was better to say the truth than have Isao think he sacrificed himself for him. “That man just wanted me to try out a potion for him in order to get his help, but I did not take it well and hurt myself. It was not anybody’s fault but my own.”

Satoru crossed his arms over his chest. What a loads of bullshit. And his son had to think the same, eyes now on him instead.

“He’s not lying, but it was not his fault.” If Satoru was proud of anything it was that he was not a coward. When he’s made a mistake, he admitted to it. “It was mine.”

“That’s not true,” Takeshi protested.

“What have you done?” Isao asked, voice low.

“The potion turned out to not only give him nightmares, but finally show him his worst fears as events that actually happened.”

“Oh, God…” Isao did not need much time to imagine what Takeshi saw, especially if it made him hurt himself.

“That’s not the reason I said it was my fault.” Satoru ignored Isao’s look telling him he was already blaming him. Of course what he did to Takeshi created this problem in the first place, but he could have saved him yet he did not and this was his biggest failure. “I was meant to watch over him warned that he might freak out, but I fell asleep.” Seeing the disbelief on his son’s face was quite a punishment. “Takeshi sneaked out, hurt himself, and I’ve found him on the edge of a cliff.” He stopped for a second. The fear on Isao’s face reminded him of Takeshi telling him about nearly falling once already. “He jumped.”

Isao was quiet, his eyes on Takeshi who was looking down, shutting himself in his own little world. Satoru did not know whether he was mad about him for telling, but Isao had to know what Takeshi was capable of doing for him, to himself, and that Satoru screwed up. He did wonder whether Takeshi was covering up him, or himself, or both, but neither was right.

“All this talk about what an amazing bodyguard you are and then you fall asleep the second you are meant to protect Takeshi?” Isao asked quietly.

Satoru blinked in shock. He did not expect Isao to think he did it on purpose.

“He jumped after me.” Takeshi spoke in his defence clearly knowing his son better than him. “And he saved me.”

Isao did not look convinced.

“I would have never gotten the potion and returned with it if not your dad.” Takeshi appeared vulnerable, but he was going to say the important. “And I don’t know if you agree,” he faced Satoru, “but at the end of the day the trip let us burn the bridges.” It came out a little awkward, but he said it before he thought about who he was going to say it to.

“It’s like throwing two people in a cage and leaving them with no choice but to talk.” He shrugged, but sighed to himself seeing Takeshi looking away ashamed. “I do agree with you. It would have been more difficult to learn how to work together otherwise.”

“I am glad that you two are getting along now, but I’d appreciate if I was not kept in the dark, especially in such situations,” Isao said. Not being a bodyguard, not being by Takeshi’s side anymore, hit him harder than ever before.

Takeshi nearly killed himself. And Isao did not know. It made him feel cold.

“Don’t blame it on your situation, he was hiding stuff from you before already.” Satoru snorted.

“Hey!”

“True.” Isao murmured.

“And from everybody else. He’s a pain in the ass.”

“True.”

“Thanks, guys.” Takeshi shook his head.

Isao pulled him into his arms and kissed the top of his head. Nothing else but death makes you realise how incredibly precious people are to you. The fact that he could have lost Takeshi there made him wrap his arms tightly around him now. He felt the fear, only showing it when Takeshi turned his head away from them, Satoru nodding to him understandably seeing it on his face.

Satoru, the man who tried to kill Takeshi, jumped off a cliff to save him. He wondered whether his father could truly put hate aside when he became a bodyguard, or everything had another explanation. He could tell that he and Takeshi talked, and he wondered what Satoru told him, but it was clearly good enough. Was it wise to trust Takeshi’s judgment, though?

“You need to get your crap together.” Satoru spoke up, knowing that Takeshi was asleep.

“Slightly difficult to do anything at the moment.” Isao replied sarcastically.

“It is. But it does not give you an excuse to give up.”

“I am not giving up, I am stuck!”

“Shush.” He was not going to have his son shout at him. “You’re not stuck. You do not need to wait here till your legs work again. It will only put you down more.”

“I already told Takeshi that I want to go back home.”

“Good.” Satoru was happy to hear that. “I will make sure he tells the doctors.”

Isao bit his teeth together and looked away.

“Stop sulking, it does not suit you.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

Isao realised how he spoke to his father the moment he saw his face. But then Takeshi started laughing in his arms and they both looked at him, bashing him for pretending he was asleep.

Takeshi just laughed more.

**

“You’re a little busy bee lately, aren’t you?” Naoko asked quietly, sitting on the bar stool as Takeshi cooked them breakfast.

Rest of the boys disappeared the moment work in the house started, preparing it for Isao. He was free to leave the hospital whenever he felt ready and since he wanted to come back as soon as possible, Takeshi began ensuring everything would be comfortable for him.

Takeshi decided to move their bedroom downstairs. It was not perfect he said, the room was small, so apart from a bed itself and some of Isao’s things, nothing else fit. The room had to be prepared accordingly as well as the bathroom, before just empty rooms by each other, now both fit for a disabled person. A word that Takeshi made a ‘taboo’ of and forbid all of them of speaking it the second he heard the workmen mentioning it.

Everybody knew that Takeshi feared Isao’s reaction to the change more than anything.

“Trying.” Takeshi smiled putting the pancakes on a plate and placing it by Naoko, right by jams, chocolate, cream and fruits. “Enjoy.”

“You will turn into a pancake one day,” Naoko joked, but he did not smile.

Takeshi was just happy he walked out of his room to eat.

“At least I would be sweet.” Takeshi grinned, sitting opposite to him.

They both cringed when it got louder, now the men installing a ramp on the stairs for the front door.

“Isao will hate this.” Naoko looked as Satoru showed the other men where to install additional alarms. That man was busy ensuring their security was something they have not even heard of before.

“I know.” Takeshi was more than aware.

“He’s so proud that he will feel humiliated,” Naoko murmured.

“At the beginning, but thanks to all of those stuff he won’t need our help. Imagine if I left it as it is, and he would need to ask for help with everything.” Takeshi knew he chose the lesser evil.

“He should be thankful for having you and for the money that allowed for this to happen, I just know how Isao is. It will be difficult for him to even sit on the wheelchair.” Naoko put his hand over Takeshi’s. He needed help, not people judging him. While people rightfully were focusing on Isao, he felt for Takeshi, too, sensing the stress he was going through.

Takeshi smiled tiredly. If not him, Isao would not be in this situation in the first place. “He’s done it before, I think it’s the fact that he thinks he won’t ever walk again making it a lot worse.”

“Didn’t his father and you found a way to fix that?” Naoko’s memory was fogged, but he thought he heard that.

“Yes.” Takeshi smiled to him. “It’s just taking time.”

Naoko sighed. “What about the rescue mission?”

“The assumption is that they will dock the boat tonight.” Takeshi poured drinks for them. “They will move, get comfortable, and we can hit tomorrow night.”

“You already know where?” Naoko asked curiously. Tomorrow night?!

“Yes. We’ve been following them for a while. It would be impossible to rescue the kids from the ship, but they do stop once a few weeks, get comfortable at their mansion.”

“I want to go.” Naoko caught his hand again.

“Naoko…”

“Please.”

“We are only taking the boys and leaving,” Takeshi explained. “As quietly as possible.”

“That’s fine,” Naoko tightened his hold. “That’s revenge, too.”

“I don’t think they will care much, I think they want me to take them…”

“Please. Let me go. You can trust me, I won’t do anything stupid.”

Takeshi bit his lip. If this was only about Rin, he would not let him. But they were rescuing the innocent kid, too. “You must promise me you will do exactly as I say.” Takeshi warned him. “We are going quietly in and quietly out. So everybody can get out alive. There will only be a few of us, we cannot start a fight.”

“I understand.” Naoko walked up to him quickly and hugged tightly, Takeshi letting out a surprised gasp. “Thank you.”

Takeshi sighed. “It will be good to have you with us.” He scratched his back with a smile.

**

“Ready to go?” Takeshi grinned enthusiastically, peaking from behind the door at Isao, sat on his bed with Satoru standing by and packing his bag.

“Born ready.” He answered slightly unsure, not knowing what Takeshi was doing. “Why won’t you come in?”

Takeshi smirked. “Beep, beep.” And here he was, pushing the wheelchair in front of himself, parking it perfectly right by Isao’s bed. “You officially have the sexiest, most advanced, especially designed for you by a very well known car company, a very special wheelchair. I shall hear no complaints.”

“Is this an English accent I am hearing?” Satoru whispered.

“Shush.” Takeshi waved him off.

“Just gay, then.”

“Thank you.” Isao smiled and Takeshi bent to kiss him on the lips.

“You remember how to do this?” Satoru asked, throwing the bag over his shoulder. “Move, you skinny shit.” He pushed Takeshi out of the way to help Isao. “Come on.” He extended his hand, but Isao gave him a dirty look. For insulting Takeshi or him by thinking he can’t do it himself, he was not sure.

“I am cool.” Isao was going to do it himself. And he did, maybe not perfectly, but without the help and it made him feel better. He looked up when the doctor walked in.

“Ready to go, I see.” He smiled. “Remember about check-ups, okay?” He shook hands with Isao. At least this man actually listened to him. Usually.

“Sure. Thanks, doc. For everything.”

“Remember to thank Nalin.” He winked to him.

**

“This is new.” Isao noticed the ramp board covering half of the stairs.

“Well, mister proud, we had to make sure you can do everything by yourself.” Takeshi rolled his eyes theatrically. This was the only way to go through with it.

They helped Isao up, his arms too weak after weeks of laying on the hospital bed.

And when they opened the doors, the lights turned on, and the whole family was there screaming “welcome back”, banners of the same words everywhere, confetti exploding and music playing. Isao opened his mouth in shock, turning his head to look at Takeshi who was grinning by him, and then Kisumi threw himself in his arms.

“Hi, dad!” He kissed him on the cheek.

“Hey, you.” Isao smiled, surprised.

Sayomi ran up to his legs, climbed up him and wrapped her little arms around him. “ISA!”

“Oh, goodness,” Isao chuckled, hugging her back. “Isn’t a little late for you, kiddo?”

“She did not want to go to sleep when she’s heard you’re coming home.” Sousuke smiled.

“Cake time!” James did not want to ruin their sweet family moment, but he was holding it in his hands and it was becoming heavy while he - hungrier.

Takeshi breathed out in relief when it became loud, Isao so absorbed with everybody that he did not notice any changes in the living room. Maybe he could get him a little tipsy, so he would not mind the bedroom change either.

Tomorrow would be more difficult. It would be a normal day for Isao, everything new, he would have time to think about it, the realisation would hit him and… Takeshi would worry about it then.

Takeshi curled up in his arms as they sat together on the sofa. Isao was chatting happily with Nobu, fingers stroking Takeshi’s arm. Takeshi smiled to Naoko when James threw himself over both him and Nalin, already tipsy.

Takeshi grabbed his phone when it rang and walked away. When he came back, they all looked up at him.

“The gang docked.” Takeshi said and room felt silent.

“So we are going tomorrow.” Sousuke leaned forward, hope in his eyes.

“He’s going?” Akira asked surprised.

“Sousuke and Naoko are, for sure.” Takeshi sat back by Isao.

Naoko smiled when he saw their faces. “So, you know, so far Takeshi’s taking a son who will be emotionally unstable, and me, who might go on a killing spree. Anybody normal wanna join?”

“I really do not think this is a good idea.” Nobu spoke up. “I am sorry, Naoko, I do not doubt your skills, but in your situation…”

“I would not ask if I did not know that I can do it. Trust me.” Naoko said calmly.

“I trust Naoko and Sousuke.” Takeshi ended the conversation. “But I’d like more of us to go.” He clasped his hands together. “Nalin?”

He nodded his head without a second thought. He would not let Takeshi go without him anyway, hell knew how long his body would hold on during such stress, besides, they did not know if they will manage to leave without a fight.

Takeshi was a fantastic assassin, but he was also sick.

“James?”

“Me?” He asked surprised, mouth full of cake, so he nodded his head.

“Yes.” Takeshi smiled. He was not sure if James would want to help Nanase’s son. “And Satoru?”

“Obviously.” Why was this even a question? He watched his son’s emotionless expression, hand holding onto Takeshi like his life depended on it. But one look at Takeshi told him that nothing would stop him. And the funny realisation was that there was excitement in Takeshi’s eyes.

Someone clearly missed a little bit of action, which was great, but Satoru knew that he will need to keep an eye on him, especially if he was anything like his father when fighting.

“That’s sorted then.” The corner of Takeshi’s lips lifted. It was way easier than he expected.

“You’re not taking any of us?” Iwao asked surprised, even a little insulted.

Or not.

“No.” Takeshi threw Isao’s arm over his shoulders instead and cuddled up to him. “I want as least people as possible, because we want to be invisible. And I need as many people here, if something goes wrong.”

“I think you should take a few more.” Nalin suggested. It surprised him that he took none of the actual Yakuza, just its outcasts.

“I can go.” Ren sat on top of the sofa by Takeshi’s head.

“There’s no need…” Takeshi did not want him to go because he still felt bad about what he did.

“That’s a good idea.” Nalin agreed. “Brat’s useful.” He knew exactly where his son shone. He was a perfect little spy.

“Thanks, dad.” Ren pushed his fringe back. “I’m an expert, actually.”

“If you’re going, I am going.” Kisumi lifted his hand.

“Kisumi…” Takeshi did not sound happy and noticed Isao’s mouth moving into a thin line.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Ren protested.

Kisumi lifted his eyebrow, but Ren refused to budge.

“I don’t care about your opinion.” Kisumi crossed his arms over his chest.

“You’re the one who did not want to get involved!” Ren pointed out.

“That’s different!”

“No, it’s not!”

“That’s enough,” Takeshi said calmly and they stopped arguing.

“Sorry, boss.” Ren murmured and blushed seeing Nalin giving him a look.

“If I will let you go, will you keep an eye on Sousuke for me?” Takeshi asked Kisumi.

“Me?” Sousuke asked disturbed.

“Yes.” Kisumi straightened up and nodded.

“Takeshi…” Isao spoke up for the first time. “Are you sure…”

“Yes.” Takeshi was confident. “Let’s see what our kids are made of.” He poked his cheek jokingly. “It’s the safest way of checking.”

“Going right in the enemy’s nest?” Isao doubted it.

“We just have to be quiet so they won’t notice us.”

“What if they’re waiting for you?” Isao feared it the most.

Takeshi shook his head. If he worried about anything it was Rin stabbing him in the back. Literally. He knew they were good enough to get out of there unnoticed, whether the gang expected them or not. He liked to believe that they did expect them because they would get him Rin ready, place him with Haru pretending he was kidnapped in the same way.

Isao knew that whatever he would say would not make a difference. It did not bother him so much before when he knew he would be there by his side. Now he felt hopeless.

“We can grab a beer then.” Iwao snorted and fist-bumped with Isao.

“Or you could do something productive.” Takeshi suggested.

“Nah.” Iwao grinned.

“James, wake up.” Naoko shook the body on his lap.

Takeshi laughed. James was out cold, the cake still in his hand. “Time to sleep. We need to wake up early tomorrow.”

“Can you help?” Naoko murmured to Nalin who nodded. They both grabbed James who mumbled something, waking up enough to make it easier for them.

“I love you, guys,” he whispered to both of them. “So much.” There was a sniff at the end.

Takeshi chuckled. “By the way,” he tugged at Isao’s grey hoodie, “I’ve got a surprise for you.” His chest tightened. Please do not be mad.

“What is it?” Isao asked curiously.

“I’ve moved our bedroom downstairs.” He said as the men made their way upstairs, suspiciously quickly.

“Oh.” Isao did not ask why. It was obvious. And he did worry how he would make his way up everyday, fearing the humiliation he would feel, even if they would say he should not. “Thank you.”

“It’s not perfect, but it will do.” Takeshi could breath again. “Come on, I will show you.”

**

Isao sat in the wheelchair, looking at the new bedroom. It was tiny, bed taking most of the space. And it was not their bed, it was a special one. Probably the most comfortable for him, but he wondered how Takeshi would feel. He might be a koala clinging to him though the whole night, but the bed was half the size of their previous one.

He tried not to wince at the tool meaning to help him get into the bed. It was only for a short time…

“The bathroom’s here too.” Takeshi walked up to the door and opened it.

When Isao had a look, he swallowed hard. He did appreciate that he would be able to do everything on his own, Takeshi knew him perfectly and how humiliated he would feel if he had to ask for help with such basic tasks, but…

All the special tools, an open shower, sink lower on the wall. Gosh.

“It’s only for a short-while.” Takeshi put his hand on his shoulder.

Isao breathed out feeling how tense Takeshi was. “Come here.” He pulled him into his lap, Takeshi sitting unsurely. “Damn, I forgot the pluses of a wheelchair.” Isao grasped his hip with one hand and thigh with another. He could have him sit on his lap whenever he’d feel like it. He smirked. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Takeshi smiled.

“One question, though.” Isao patted him on the leg.

Takeshi cocked his head.

“What about you?”

“Me?”

“This is all perfect. For me.” Isao looked around again. “Is the bed going to be comfortable for you? And this bathroom? And where are your things? And…”

“That’s not one question.”

Isao made a face.

“The bed’s fine, it is our bed that’s huge which makes you think this one is small.” It wasn’t entirely true, but he really did not need much space, so it was least of their problems. “The bathroom can be used by both of us, and my things are upstairs. I could not move all of them here, come on. Have you seen my wardrobe?”

“I just want it to be comfortable for you, too.” Isao said quietly.

“It’s not a big deal for me, stop thinking so.” Takeshi caught his jaw. “I am just glad I can have you back.” He lifted his chin and kissed him on the lips.

“How do you feel about trying that bed out?” Isao asked, wanting to sound cocky, but it came out a little unsure. Would Takeshi still want him…?

The smirk on Takeshi’s face calmed him down completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> If you did, let me know if you're one of the readers :)
> 
> *** Next chapter is full of action :> ***


	81. World End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the world, as he knew it, has ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For GlitterOfWonderland, I do not know what I would do without you.

“Let’s stay like this forever.” Isao smiled when Takeshi chuckled, naked body lying over his. He smoothed his hand down his back, right to his ass and grabbed it with love, Takeshi now laughing. He was not sure whether it was alcohol or endorphins making them weirdly happy. They were sweaty, their breathing only now slowing down. Isao grasped his thigh too, making sure it would stay thrown over his hips. “Not kidding.”

“I remember when we were kids,” Takeshi whispered, fingertips tracing Isao’s jaw. He stopped for a moment, memories a little foggy. “I thought we were doomed. And I’ve always imagined that we will meet in another world where nothing and nobody will stand in our way.” He’d never imagine sleeping with Isao in their house, their relationship known to everyone.

“It’s good that you have decided to become a boss instead, so you could do whatever you wanted.” Isao scratched his back. Well, become a boss and wait for me to get my shit together, he thought. Only a few months ago they were both so confused and lost.

Takeshi smiled and then pressed their lips together.

“I’m gonna try out that shower of yours,” Takeshi murmured.

“Na-a.” Isao wrapped his arms around him. “Stay sweaty on me.”

“You had too much to drink.” Takeshi tried not to laugh again. He felt so happy.

“It’s that mixed with morphine, I think.” Isao slapped him on the ass. It’s been weeks, Takeshi, have some mercy. Towards the end he was getting desperate enough to consider asking Takeshi to lock the door to his room so they could have sex on the hospital bed. But he did not. They would not be the ones doing the washing and that cooled him down very quickly.

“And people judge me for being out of it.” Takeshi shook his head. He knew he was on something different than morphine, but he never cared to question Nalin. His drugs were a secret, and questioning could seem as lack of trust.

“Nobody judges you.” Isao ruffled his dark hair. It had grown so quickly. “Is that why you’re drinking less lately?” He had noticed the change, before Takeshi could pour a lot of alcohol down his throat, lately he seemed to cut it out. It was either because of Nalin’s advice or because he wanted to be ready to help him whenever there was a need.

“I get drunk really quickly now.” Takeshi shrugged. “And it makes me feel worse the next day.”

“Maybe we should try that healthy lifestyle for a while,” Isao joked.

Takeshi cringed, making him laugh.

**

“Stop whining.” Nalin said when he saw Takeshi wincing as he stuck another needle in his arm. “It will keep you going until tomorrow.”

“I’m not saying anything.” Takeshi already felt light-headed and he shook his head.

“It will go away in a few minutes, just stay here.” Nalin patted him on his shoulder and headed to one of his many shelves in his office.

“Are you sure you want to go?” He texted everybody in the early morning, apart from his own son, telling them that they do not have much time left to change their mind.

As a boss he was always telling people what he expected of them and they had no choice. Nobody was brave enough to refuse his orders anyway. But here he knew he was saving a boy who deathly poisoned him and he felt unfair to put others in danger because of him. People had various opinions about saving Nanase’s son, too.

“Of course I am, I need to stretch my legs.” Nalin smiled.

“Miss a bit of action?” Takeshi teased.

“I do, actually.” Nalin sat by him. “I was never one to go into fights, I just ordered them, but I was busy trying to make your life hell.” He sighed, disappointed, and Takeshi punched him in the arm jokingly. “I need some adrenaline.”

“I don’t give you enough, huh?” Takeshi asked.

“You give me heart palpitations, that’s different.” Nalin scolded him.

Takeshi smiled with a little sigh. He was so tired of all of it already and this was only the beginning.

“Are you sure we are doing the right thing?” Nalin asked, head cocked slightly. “This monster did this to you.” He took his thin hand in his, showing him the bruises of many injections. Takeshi was a master of cover up, but Nalin could see everything. The circles darkening under his eyes, the smallest bruises showing up for no reason, the body thinning and bones becoming weaker, Takeshi beginning to have an issue lifting not so heavy things. And the tumour was growing, he could see Takeshi being careful not to move too quickly, clearly becoming lightheaded whenever he did. And yet the worst was still coming and what worried Nalin the most was that the poison neither worked slowly or hit at once - it was doing both.

“He’s a dumb boy, not a monster.” Takeshi pulled his sleeve down to cover them. “Think of it as going for Haru instead. This boy did not do anything to deserve this.”

“Being a Nanase is not enough for you?” Nalin cocked an eyebrow. “You wanted to murder his father not that long ago.”

Takeshi mindlessly played with the pages of a book placed right by his hand. “Umiko is alive and since my father and Satoru were involved, if I forgave Satoru for it and worse things, I can’t really hold it against Nanase. He asked for my help and having the most noisy policeman on our side is better than to continue the war with him. If we will bring Haru back to him, it will cement the trust. I hate him for what he did to James, and the many times he gave us hell, but… it’s the revenge to have him on our side.”

“You have most of the police working in your favour, don’t you?” Nalin asked.

“Yes.”

“It worries me that you think Rin is not a monster.” Nalin leaned closer. “He made you suffer. He might end up being your murderer. And he did it to help his friend even though he knew you were on the case. He did it to his boyfriend’s father, daughter’s grandad, and a Yakuza Boss.” Sometimes he wondered whether the poison did something to Takeshi’s way of thinking, too. He understood why Takeshi was prioritising his son, but if this was about Ren, Nalin would have never gone this far to protect him. Because he did not feel that it was protecting him. As simple as that.

“I know…” Takeshi could not really comprehend that the Rin he knew actually stood behind it all. It had nothing to do with wanting to excuse him, maybe just disbelief.

“It’s amazing how a mind works, isn’t?” Nalin said quietly. “You have so many people around you who love you, say it to you, show it to you, and you still want to excuse someone who made your life hell.”

“I am not excusing him,” Takeshi disagreed.

“Why do you think Sousuke would want to be with someone who did this to you?” Nalin needed answers, it was bothering him and Takeshi always just escaped the conversation.

“Look.” Takeshi was tired of this question. “There are two options. If he cares about me more than about Rin, then he will suffer realising what his boyfriend did to his father. If he does not care about me… He would go looking for him himself. And get himself killed.” He shook his head.

“In this situation, you should rescue him and then tell Sousuke everything. If he will want to leave with him, let him. But maybe he does not want to be with his father’s murderer. Imagine him losing you and years later finding out the man he was with all this time was responsible. He would shoot himself in the head.”

“I don’t want him to shoot himself in the head, that’s why I never want him to find out it was Rin.” Takeshi snapped.

Nalin exhaled loudly, leaning back. This conversation was pointless.

“I hope he is fucking dead.”

Takeshi grinned. “Me too.”

“Speaking of which. Send a killer on him.”

“Sousuke would know.”

Nalin growled.

**

“Ohhh, this is exciting.” Ren put his hands on his cheeks in delight.

Yesterday this coffee table was filled with cakes and drinks, today with weapons he dreamed about. Yakuza was so rich they could afford everything and he was beyond happy to finally be able to use it.

“They’re all silent. Choose your favourite.” Takeshi crossed his arms over his chest and laughed when Ren chose the biggest gun. “Typical.”

“He’s still young.” Nalin shook his head.

“No shooting unless necessary.” Takeshi reminded them and watched Kisumi grabbing a gun unsurely. “Kisumi, can we talk?” He waved for him to come with him, noticing the surprise.

When they’ve reached another room, Takeshi made sure the door closed after them. “Are you sure you want to go, darling?”

“Y-es.” Kisumi was bending his fingers.

“You do not have to go.” Takeshi’s voice was warm. “You do not need to prove anything to me, you’ve been working for me for a long time and I know what you are capable of when there is a must. You wanted out. This is not important.”

“If I won’t go now, you will tell me to sit home when a huge fight will start, too.” Kisumi said quietly. “I feel like I’ve became a bigger coward since I quit.”

“You’re not a coward.” Takeshi lifted his chin. “This is not your war to fight.”

“Isn’t?” Kisumi disagreed. “They’ve paralysed my father. There is something horrible going on with you, because you all refuse to tell us. Haru was my friend. Rin is my friend. Sousuke might get hurt. My grandfather is going. And my boyfriend!”

“We are not going to war.” Takeshi said quietly. “Nothing is going to happen.”

“I am still a coward.”

Takeshi sighed. “Well, how about this…” An idea popped in his mind. “You stay home tonight. When we come back, I will train you myself to build up your confidence?”

Kisumi looked so terrified for a moment that he laughed.

“Oh, come on. It’s been a long time since you found me scary.” Takeshi rolled his eyes.

“You’re still kind of scary.” Kisumi admitted.

“Please.” It actually bothered him how much of a face he lost lately.

“Even dad is scared of you, it is funny to watch.” Kisumi chuckled.

“I am sure your dad is not scared of me.”

“Yes, he is, he makes this face when you get angry.” Kisumi opened his eyes wide and slowly moved out of his way.

Takeshi bit his lip. “Good.” Oh, well, some fear never hurt anybody, he thought cockily.

“Guys!” They heard a shout.

“I want you to stay with your dad tonight.” Takeshi touched his cheek.

“But…”

“And that’s an order.” Takeshi stopped smiling and Kisumi closed his mouth.

**

“Tsk.” Satoru grabbed Takeshi and put a necklace on his neck as they stood in the living room. “Do not leave my side today.” He warned him. “But if we end up separated, you know what to do.”

“So my dad had a necklace, huh?” Takeshi looked at it curiously. Black stone pendant. He liked it. When Isao became a bodyguard, he gave him a ring with the same stone. Shiginos always gave their men jewellery by which they could stay connected. One press of a finger against it would alert them of danger.

“Yes.” Satoru hid it behind his shirt and for a second Takeshi felt as if his father was tying his tie for the first time. “But it is not his.” He made sure they buried Katsu with his on his neck. Satoru always told him that he would keep him safe even after death. He still wore his ring.

“Oh.” Takeshi said surprised.

“This one was made for you.”

“Thank you.” Takeshi felt touched, but he tried to be as neutral as possible, feeling Isao’s pain. He was smiling seeing them interacting, his father taking his duty seriously, but the sadness was obvious in his eyes. It stung Takeshi seeing him like this.

“Listen to me tonight and we’re even.”

“Only tonight?” Takeshi grinned, but quickly escaped to grab Isao seeing Satoru’s face.

“Be good, yeah?” Isao smiled when Takeshi leaned in and gave him a long kiss on the lips.

“Record the new episode of Game of Thrones for me.” He tightened his hand on Isao’s for a second, letting him feel the engagement ring on his finger. Nothing would beat this ring. Apart from a wedding one… “Ready?” He asked, guys either standing or sitting on the sofas. He knew he would need to keep an eye on both Sousuke and Naoko tonight.

“For a party? Always.” Kin grinned, a bottle of vodka in his hand. At least he was not worrying. Or he was drinking because he knew they were going to risk their lives in order to save a boy responsible for poisoning him.

Takeshi tried to think of it as, and he advised them to do the same, saving the innocent boy and gaining Nanase’s trust, which would be incredibly helpful in the upcoming war.

They’ve heard beeping coming from the outside.

“Time to go.” Satoru had enough of those goodbyes.

“Be safe.” His wife hugged Takeshi while Kisumi threw himself on Ren’s neck, Nalin rolling his eyes. Naoko looked at his gun.

The revenge was about to begin.

“Time to go…” Satoru finally grabbed Takeshi and pushed towards the door.

**

“Fucking love those outfits.” Ren admired himself as they sat in the car, now making its way to the yacht.

So typical of Takeshi to get them black clothes, but the materials were so comfortable, easy to move in, and apparently resistant to small cuts and such, shoes light on their feet.

“Language.” Nalin scolded him.

“What’s the plan?” Naoko asked.

“We’re getting on the yacht, by the time we get there it should be a late night so hopefully majority of those bastards will be asleep. We dock in a safe place, so we will need to walk through a forest. Here are pictures of the mansion.” Takeshi handed those to them. “Satoru knows where the secret entry is.”

“They might have blocked it, for obvious reasons.” Hopefully they never found it, though.

“We will need to improvise.” Takeshi shrugged. He did not think they’ve blocked the door. They wanted them to take the brats.

“Look at the sexy masks.” Ren was not listening to them. “Working for you was the best decision I have ever made.”

“Excuse me?” Nalin finally had enough.

Ren put the mask down. “Sorry.” Oh shit.

Takeshi chuckled, watching them in the rear-view mirror.

“It’s just, we did not have such masks, it’s a good idea, that’s all.” Ren tried to explain.

“Because we were a small gang and working from the shadows, obviously I did not consider fashion forward masks!” Nalin snapped irritated.

“Relax, kids.” Takeshi shook his head. He looked at his son, clearly not listening to them, starring out of the window. He was nervous and excited, and Takeshi just did not want to break his heart. He hoped Rin would not either. Hell knew what the gang told him to do this time.

Takeshi did not fear for any of his men. Firstly, they were fantastic gangsters. Secondly, he knew that the gang wanted them to escape smoothly. And that also meant that either Haru, or Rin, or both were prepared by the gang. But to do what?

Possibly just to spy, so keeping Rin and Haru away from the information would not be difficult. Maybe to harm him more. But as long as it was only him, he did not care.

The gang would not want to kill him, they wanted him to suffer as long as possible ensured he was going to die by the end of it.

“We’re here, Boss.” The driver stopped by the port.

When they walked out, Takeshi breathed in the fresh smell of the sea. Not far away from them, there was a party on a boat, lights as bright as the stars on the sky, sound loud echoing in the air. Little led lights were around the port, enabling everyone to find their yachts. He could also hear the music from restaurants close by, everybody enjoying their summer holidays.

Once upon a time it was them.

“We’ve got everything.” Satoru and James threw the bags over their shoulders. There were mostly weapons, some clothes to change, and a med kit which hopefully they would not need to use.

“Stay here.” Takeshi patted the door of the car and the driver nodded to them.

Takeshi’s Yacht was right at the end of the dock, watched by two bodyguards since he paid to bring it here. It was not the one he used for holidays, this one was all black and small without any standing out features. But it was fast and safe.

“I have not seen this one before,” Naoko mentioned as they walked inside of it.

“Secret project.” The corner of Takeshi’s lips lifted.

When everybody got comfortable downstairs, Takeshi made his way outside to the bow of the boat which was now making its way towards the gang’s mansion.

“You don’t need to follow me on my own yacht.” Takeshi smiled when Satoru walked after him.

“Of course I don’t. But I’d rather not have you go for a swim again.”

Takeshi laughed.

“You should not be laughing about your suicidal attempt.” Satoru cringed. He began to realise that Takeshi genuinely frightened him. He could remember Katsu’s humour darkening when he got sick, too, but not as much.

“You’re the one making the joke.” Takeshi shrugged and grasped the barrier as he reached the bow and lifted his head up towards the sky. It was beautiful tonight.

Satoru grabbed him by the back of the hoodie. “Dark humour.”

Takeshi chuckled.

“What is this, Titanic?” Satoru pulled him back when he leaned over to look at the sea.

“You’ve watched Titanic?” Takeshi asked excited.

“Your dad had his weaker moments, too.” Satoru admitted.

“This is the best thing I have ever learned about him,” Takeshi said amazed.

“Glad I’ve made you happy.” Satoru yanked him away from the edge. It was making him anxious how much Takeshi seemed to be unaware of himself constantly leaning forward more and more. “Let’s go.”

“Fine.” Takeshi followed and noticed the boys sitting on the leather sits in the middle. “Still grumpy?” He sat by Nalin and threw his arm over his shoulders.

“Just getting used to my son calling you a Boss now,” Nalin murmured.

“I’ve always called you dad anyway. That’s more than a boss!” Ren shuffled to his side and hugged him in the middle.

“We’re all one big family anyway.” Takeshi winked to Nalin.

“They’ve only been boyfriends for a few weeks.” Nalin lifted his finger.

Ren coughed. “Months.”

“Well, you’re just boyfriends.”

“Yeah, about that…”

“Oh, no. We are not having this conversation now.” Jesus Christ.

“Do you think Isao would kill me if I asked Kisumi to marry me?” Ren asked Takeshi, arms still around Nalin.

“No.” Takeshi smiled. “He has nothing against you.”

Nalin gave him a doubtful look.

“If you would marry Isao, and Ren would marry Kisumi, we really would become family.” Nalin said it slowly as if realising with every word what it actually meant.

“You don’t seem too happy about that.”

“We did want to kill each other a few months ago.”

Takeshi gasped. “Don’t say that.”

Nalin pushed him away with a laugh.

**

“Slow down, pretty boy.” Takeshi grabbed Sousuke by the back of his shirt. Now they were all walking in the forest and Sousuke decided to go ahead, footsteps faster and faster. If Naoko could keep his cool, keeping by his side since the beginning, then he expected it from his son, too.

Sousuke bit his teeth together and slowed down. They were so close. So close to Rin. After all those weeks.

“Control yourself.” Takeshi’s voice became harsher. “We are keeping to the plan.”

Naoko was not surprised with Takeshi’s strictness towards his son, he was trying to teach him when he had a chance. Something was off, though, and he could not quite put a hand on it.

“I know.” Sousuke backed down so Takeshi and Satoru could be first again.

While his body was pulsing ready to attack, Takeshi seemed relaxed. And he knew his father was experienced and this was nothing to him, but he acted as if he knew exactly what would happen which was suspicious to him.

Takeshi seemed to be enjoying this journey, in all black looking skinnier than all of them, but the mask giving him an evil look. While theirs were quite simple, his was all sharp edges, like snakes around eyes, wrapping around his ears and disappearing in his hair. It’s been a long time since Sousuke saw him wearing the black gloves, knowing it meant his father was up for murder.

“God.” Sousuke whispered as they stood on the edge of the forest.

In front of them, an old building resembling a castle, ruins on one side. The sky was clear above it, the grass uneven around the hill it was standing on. A lonely tree here and there, the fog low on the ground. So pretty yet spine-chilling. Naoko felt uneasiness crawling up his back.

“Let’s go to the right, so we can walk straight into the ruins.” Satoru pointed there, the forest touching that part of the castle. It would be easier to stay unnoticed and this was where the hidden entrance was.

They moved smoothly through it and quietly in between cracked walls here and there, straight to the opening in the ground. James did not wait, he bent and unlocked the lock with his small knife.

“Their lack of security makes me suspicious.” James murmured, standing up straight with the knife in his teeth, pulling his jeans up as they slid down his ass.

“They were always useless. Partly why they wanted me.” Satoru smirked. “I obviously wasn’t much help.”

“I am going first.” Takeshi made a move, but Satoru stopped him.

“You’re going after me.”

**

They were underground, grey stone walls around them. The room they have jumped in was long and dirty, completely empty and clearly unused. Satoru opened the door and they faced a long corridor with a lamp placed every few metres or so. It was quite dark.

Satoru hoped Rin and Haru were caged, then their journey would be short and easy. And if Takeshi was right, and the gang wanted him to get them, then this was exactly how it was going to be.

“They should be here,” Satoru said quietly as they walked by cells, empty as he expected. They did not want them to grab the innocent kids as well.

Fuckers.

He heard Takeshi’s hiss when Sousuke pushed them out of the way and started quickly checking the cells himself. It did not bother Satoru, if the kid would get hurt, it would be his fault, and some people needed to get burnt to learn.

Satoru stopped Takeshi from going after him, arm extended right in front of him. Now, this brat he had to protect, and having him die trying to rescue the one who deathly poisoned him would have him shoot himself out of frustration and anger. Rin did not deserve two people to die because of him.

“Rin!” Sousuke nearly shouted and tried to open the cell door which stood still no matter how much he shook it. Finally seeing him, after so long, made blood rush to his brain.

“Shut up.” Satoru snapped as the rattling continued and he grabbed it so Sousuke could not move it. He was stronger than him. “Do you want to get all of us killed?”

Sousuke was breathing heavily and Takeshi looked at James who jumped in to open it, Nalin, Naoko and Ren watching their backs. When James successfully unlocked it, Sousuke rushed in and Takeshi saw him dropping to his knees, and Takeshi could not refuse to do it any longer - he looked at Rin.

Sitting on the ground he had a fresh bruise on his cheek, he did not look starved, his hair dirty but not broken, and wrists unharmed when Sousuke took the rope off. What a fake shit-show, Takeshi thought. But his son saw none of it, arms around Rin who started crying.

“I think I am going to be sick,” James, standing behind him, pressed his forehead to his friend’s shoulder. Takeshi smiled. It was a lot more difficult than he thought. If this was anybody else he would have slit their throat already. His hand hurt from not being able to do so.

“Just one word.” Satoru said quietly.

He was starring at him all this time, Takeshi realised as he looked up. But Takeshi shook his head, son’s happiness more important than anything.

Satoru sighed disappointed. He liked to help karma, but this one would need to help itself.

“Haru.” Takeshi finally noticed the boy when Naoko touched his shoulder and pointed in the corner. Haru was curled up away from any light. Takeshi walked up to him slowly and kneeled in front of him.

Haru’s face was small and pale, blue-ish bruises underneath his eyes. He was terrified and winced away from him when he lifted his hand to touch his cheek.

“I won’t hurt you.” It crossed his mind how striking the difference between the two boys was. Here was the one Rin poisoned him for and he was looking like hell. He started doubting Rin did it for him at all.

Maybe Nalin was right.

“I will take the tape off your mouth, if you promise you will not say a word.” Takeshi waited for the nod and then carefully took it off, his wince making him flinch. Haru’s breathing was uneven and he doubted the kid saw the sun since they took him. Naoko kneeled by him and took the ropes off his wrists. “Your dad’s waiting for you.” Takeshi smiled when his empty eyes brightened suddenly. “We’re taking you home.” He did not expect Haru to hug him and he tensed when he did, only after a second returning the embrace. “It’s okay,” he said quietly, fingers brushing through his hair, as Haru started crying in his arms. 

“We have to go.” Satoru mouthed to him.

“Stay here,” Nalin said to Ren, ensuring he would watch their back and he walked over to Takeshi with a syringe. “Let’s give him a little bit of strength.” Using the fact that Haru was not looking, he smoothly injected him, the kid not reacting.

Doing so many of these to Takeshi taught him how to be painless.

“You’re going to feel better in a second, then we need to walk. Keep right by Naoko, okay?” Takeshi took Haru’s face in his hand.

He nodded.

“Hurry up.” Satoru looked at Rin and Sousuke and they stood up, Sousuke keeping Rin behind himself to protect him.

Satoru tried not to snort. Who was he protecting him from? The men who clearly treated Rin well in the past few weeks, or his father, who was now drugged so much that his pupils were huge, in order to be able to stand on two legs to save the prick who made him sick in the first place? It was good that Nanase’s kid was here, because he would most likely refuse to help Takeshi rescue Rin if this was only about him, and he was pretty sure everybody else would as well.

“Come on, buddy.” James grabbed Haru and helped him out, Naoko catching him from the other side.

Satoru waited for Takeshi to join him by his side and they looked out slowly, the corridors clear. Takeshi followed him, rest of the men after, the gun in his healthy hand. He trained some before the mission, both hands knowing how to use the gun. It was uncomfortable to not be able to use one, but possible.

They’ve stopped where the corridor turned into a cross and Satoru shook his head after checking what’s on the left and took a step back.

“How many?” Takeshi asked quietly.

Satoru lifted one finger and then beckoned them to go first. They’ve moved quickly, Satoru joining last ensuring everybody crossed the path without anybody seeing them, and found himself by Takeshi within seconds. Hearing chattering they ran to the room and before they knew, they closed the door behind them, all of them breathing a little faster.

“Phew.” Ren cracked his neck. Just a slight stress.

And then there were footsteps.

They turned to their right, the noise coming from broken stairs they’ve assumed were never used. Satoru pushed them to the niche in the wall and they hid with guns ready.

Takeshi furrowed his eyebrows. The steps were of someone small and light, not in a hurry, seemingly careful as if they did not want to be heard either.

Yet Takeshi heard another crack, close to them, and he walked out before Satoru could stop him, pointing his gun straight between the eyes of a…

Boy.

“Don’t.” He heard Satoru’s gasp, but he did not lower the gun. The boy was looking at him in shock, scared and shaking. He looked somehow like very young Nalin with his white hair tied up, but his face reminded him of somebody else, yet so innocent looking, pink cheeks as if he was sick, eyes teary and bright. And then the bruises, black one under his eye, scratched cheek on the other side and a hurt lip.

“Satoru?” The boy turned his head towards him.

“Koji.”

Takeshi could not take his eyes off the kid, but Satoru’s voice made him uneasy. At first, he thought he was an actual traitor, telling him to not shoot. But he made no move, the kid looked at him like at a miracle, and Satoru sounded so soft that he nearly did not recognise him.

“You better explain this quickly, Satoru.” Takeshi felt his blood boil. This was not the time for surprises.

Koji looked towards him, question in his eyes. “Are you…”

“Yes.” Satoru grabbed Takeshi by the wrist and without a problem pushed his hand down, Takeshi weak compared to him, and as expected all of Yakuza pointed their guns at him in return.

“Step back.” James snapped at Satoru.

Koji gasped and moved away, confused. “You came for me…?” He asked suddenly and Takeshi looked at him again, surprised.

And it felt wrong when suddenly the hope disappeared from Koji’s face.

“Koji…” Satoru started again and Takeshi wanted to kick him, the bastard always first to make a shitty comment, now speechless.

“You didn’t.” Koji said quietly and Takeshi noticed him stopping bending his fingers. Now he saw his clothes, shorts and a longer shirt, no shoes on his feet, so little on him considering the low temperature inside the building. “That’s okay.”

Those words hurt.

“Koji.” Satoru said again and Takeshi pushed him away angrily.

“Fucking talk!” he snapped.

“I’ve promised I will come back to get him out of here.” Satoru explained quickly. And Koji thought he would come with Takeshi. That Takeshi would save him. Which was something he was definitely not going to tell him now.

“So you did not think it was quite crucial to let me know this tiny detail?” Takeshi asked sarcastically. Why the fuck Satoru did not say anything? Why he did not want to rescue the kid at the same time?

“I knew it was not the time.” Satoru faced him. “I would have come for him myself.”

“I do not want to disturb you two, but I don’t want to die.” James reminded them that they were in a hurry.

Takeshi looked at him, then at Koji, then at Satoru, then at Koji again. He knew absolutely nothing about this boy apart from the fact that he seemed abused and Satoru wanted to help him. He was clearly not one of the kidnapped children. Or was he? Why would he be wandering on his own? Why would he be the only one Satoru wanted to help?

“We have to go.” James repeated.

Takeshi looked at Koji again.

“I will come back for you, I promise.” Satoru said to him.

They’ve heard a noise coming from outside the room.

“You should go.” Koji took a step back, face unreadable.

“I promise.” Satoru repeated. He did not believe him anymore.

“You’re going with us.” Takeshi watched and decided at once, ignoring everybody turning to stare in disbelief.

Koji looked up in shock.

“Are you nuts?” The last person they’ve expected to open their mouth, decided to do it. And Takeshi cringed hearing Rin’s voice. “He’s the boss’ plaything!”

Takeshi felt his blood freeze. Satoru’s hands rolled into fists and he was clearly one second away from punching Rin in the face.

Koji did not move. It was nothing new to be called that.

Takeshi had no doubts anymore. “You are going with us.” He repeated.

“They will kill us!” Rin snapped.

“Shut your face!” Takeshi snapped, louder than he meant to. But it did the job.

“You should go,” Koji whispered. “He is right.”

“No.” Takeshi turned towards the men. “Move up. Now.”

They did not question him. Sousuke pushed Rin first and others followed, one by one pulling themselves up and outside.

“Come on.” Satoru pushed Koji towards the opening, both him and Takeshi knowing the boy won’t have enough strength.

“Hey, kid.” James was right there outside with his arm extended.

Koji caught his hand and James helped him up.

“Keep an eye on him.” Takeshi said before James grabbed his healthy arm and pulled him up too.

“Ow.” Takeshi winced and James rolled his eyes, moving away to let Satoru get himself out of the building.

As they all stood outside Koji caught Satoru’s arm, looking around himself clearly scared. Nalin quickly informed them that it was clear and they started cautiously walking from the ruins towards the forest, Takeshi on Koji’s other side. He wanted to tell Satoru to throw the kid over his shoulder so he would not ruin his feet, but he knew the man would never do anything that could stop him from being efficient in saving him. He was glad he at least let the kid hang on him.

Their legs worked faster, the adrenaline pumping, but there was nobody following them. The gang wanted them to take Rin and Haru, but they did not know when they would realise that they have Koji, too.

And then they did.

Takeshi noticed Satoru grabbing Koji and throwing him over his shoulder before he heard the shouts coming from the mansion. Satoru caught his healthy hand and they began running towards the boat, right after the rest of the gang.

“Faster!”

Takeshi could sense the gang coming too close to them and whistled once alerting James. They both turned at the same time and started shooting, perfectly aiming and getting rid of few men. Noticing they were clearly not shooting back, Takeshi shouted at his people to hurry up.

They had no permission to kill them.

**

“Get in!”

Satoru was last to jump inside the boat through its back, locking the door after himself, Koji sliding off his shoulder and quickly catching his arm. He watched as Takeshi smashed the red button on the side and they could hear clicking of locks in windows and doors, metal blinds quickly sliding down to cover and protect them. The boat shook when the gang found them and jumped on top of the yacht. Koji shook crawling into Satoru’s arms, who was ready for anything with the gun in his hand, pointing at the door hearing the men trying to open them by kicking and shooting. Haru covered his ears terrified, whispering something to himself, James and Naoko standing around him. Sousuke pushed Rin behind himself, hand holding him there. He was not letting him go again.

“Who’s going out to kill them?” James smirked, but his eyes followed Takeshi who quickly walked up to the navigation station on the other side of the room, many computers and screens shining in the dimmed place.

“Nobody.” Takeshi selected a few buttons and the boat began moving as the engines were triggered into automatic mode.

“Are you insane, you want to take them straight home?” Satoru snapped. What the fuck was Takeshi doing?

He did not listen to him, and they quickly realised why. On the screens around him, the cameras were giving full view of what was happening outside, the gang desperate to get in. Suddenly a mechanical sound rang in their ears and they’ve noticed guns appearing making the men freeze. And before they could jump off the boat, the shooting began.

Satoru let Koji hug him in the middle, hiding his face in his chest. There was a lot of blood, bodies with big holes in them dropping like dead flies. And once the system stopped shining in warning, cameras testing the environment for danger and finding none, they all breathed out.

“You should consider an underwater option, it would wash away our problems,” James suggested, unhappy that nobody got the joke, but the little smile on Takeshi’s face told him there was something in works already.

“We’re waiting inside for some time, if it’s going to stay clear some of us can go out and clean up. We’re taking a different route, too, so expect a longer journey back home.” Takeshi walked away from the station towards them and they’ve nodded to him. He knew they were trying to not watch the dead bodies obvious on the monitors, but he could not turn the cameras off. “Get comfortable.” He added and made his way towards Koji.

This room was the main one, not too big with the boat being purposefully smaller to be fast and more efficient. The white leather sofas were placed on both sides, big and comfortable. James quickly found a bar with drinks, and Sousuke took Rin downstairs where they had additional two small rooms and a bathroom.

Takeshi took the mask off his face, wiping the sweat off his forehead. His body was aching uncomfortably and he could feel the drugs leaving his body, beginning to feel cold and ill. Koji lifted his head and starred at him with his big eyes.

“It’s really you,” he whispered.

Takeshi was unsure what to say, the kind of amazement not something he was used to. But Koji did not seem bothered and let Satoru go to wrap his arms tightly around Takeshi’s middle and whispered, “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me.” Takeshi hugged him with one arm, cheek on top of the boy’s head. Satoru was watching them thoughtfully. “Let’s ask Nalin if…” He did not finish when the man showed up by them, a glass filled with pink liquid in his hand.

“Drink?” He offered to Koji who looked at him slightly suspiciously. “It will make you feel better.”

“You can trust Nalin.” Takeshi smiled to him and Koji took the glass without a question.

“I’ve checked on Haru, he has some bruises, but nothing serious.” Nalin spoke quietly to Takeshi. “It’s his mental health I’m more worried about.”

“You don’t have to, he has a father who will take care of him.” Takeshi looked at Haru quickly, James was showing him the way to the bathroom, so he could take a shower and change into clean clothes. “Speaking of which…” Takeshi combed his fingers through Koji’s hair. He hoped the boy had a family waiting for him, too.

“No.” Satoru answered the unspoken question.

“Mm.” Koji finished drinking happily. “I liked it.” He gave the glass back to Nalin. 

“Will you let Nalin have a look at your feet?” Satoru asked him. “I need to chat with Takeshi, then I will show you where the bathroom is.”

Koji looked at him unsure, hand already reaching to grasp Takeshi’s shirt again.

“He’s nice.” Takeshi cocked his head towards Nalin. “And you need a little bit of help, don’t you?”

“Okay.” Koji nodded and walked after Nalin, wrapping arms around himself, Takeshi watching him until he felt Satoru grabbing his arm and pulling to the side.

“Oh, you will finally talk?” Takeshi asked sarcastically.

“I really tried to do the right thing.” Satoru’s face was tired, which was surprising. The last journey seemed to not have any impact on him, yet they’ve endured so much more during it. Or maybe, Takeshi thought, the difference came from Satoru having someone he genuinely cared about this time. “But it was choosing between two evils.”

“Who is this boy?” Takeshi asked.

“He’s the son of the gang’s boss. The one Katsu killed.”

Takeshi gaped. “Oh.”

“The current boss is his brother, Koji’s uncle.”

Takeshi needed a moment to register the information. “That’s sort of information I would have expected to hear a long time ago.” Takeshi knew that he could only blame himself for trusting Satoru to tell him everything important, instead of pursuing the information. It seemed he only shared what he felt he needed for the rescue mission and Takeshi did not like it.

“As much as it pained me to know he is there with that monster, I knew that if I would tell you, you would have went for him.”

“I do not understand why you did not want me to.” Satoru made no sense to him.

“Because we are dealing with a psychopath who treats Koji as his possession. He will move the world upside down to find him. We’ve started a huge war. There is no doubt it was us and if you’d leave it to me I would have saved him another time, hid him somewhere, it would be easier.”

“Why is he hurting his nephew?” Takeshi asked quietly.

“He’s a monster.” Satoru shrugged. There was no explanation, no excuse for what he was doing to Koji since the kid could remember.

“What kind of abuse are we talking about?” Takeshi could guess he was beaten and not eating enough, whether starved or doing it to himself, he did not know, but it sounded even more serious than that.

“Koji was raised by him away from majority of people, every thought formed and forced by that monster, manipulated into thinking he has to depend on him and nobody else would ever want him. He beats him and blames it on him, he sexually abuses him and blames it on him, he lets others use him and blames it on him, and this kid thinks it is normal.” Satoru quieted when Takeshi lifted his hand, stopping him. If he could have paled any more and appear sicker, he did, and Satoru knew from one look at his face that he would protect this kid with his life.

“You should not have hidden it.” Takeshi shook his head and walked away from him, towards Koji who’s eyes brightened when he saw him again. His feet were bandaged and face regained some colour, finally warm. “Feeling any better?” He kneeled in front of Koji.

“Yes,” he nodded quickly.

“He had a shower first, so he’s all clean and bandaged.” Nalin put his bag with medicine away. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m actually okay.” Takeshi said sincerely.

“And you?” Nalin asked Haru who walked up to them, away from Sousuke and Rin sitting on the opposite sofa.

“I’m good, thank you.” Haru sat by Koji. “And you.” He put his hand lightly on his shoulder.

“Me?” Koji asked surprised.

“You’re the one who brought me food and stuff.” Haru explained. “And I know they sometimes caught you and you got hurt, so… Thank you. Really.” He was tired and shaken still, but he was slowly relaxing. Haru was not sure what his father did to receive Yakuza’s help, but he was being treated well so it seemed like a kind agreement, not bought services.

Koji shrugged, clearly not certain what he should say back to him.

Takeshi reached for his phone when it rang and smiled hearing Isao on the other side.

“We’re all good.” He said first. “The gang went after us, but we got rid of a few and we’re already on the yacht on our way back.”

They watched him listening and then he handed his phone to Haru. “Your dad wants to speak to you.”

The boy’s eyes brightened happily and he took it from him quickly. “Dad!”

Takeshi chuckled when he walked away, telling his father to relax. He patted Koji’s knee and stood up. The screens were not brightening with alarms for a while now, and he nodded to Satoru that it was time for them to go outside and clean up. James rushed after them, rest of the men staying safe inside.

“Gross.” James kicked the first body he approached.

“Let’s throw them out, then I will get the hose to clean the blood off.” Takeshi bent to grab the first one, but Satoru stopped him.

“Get the hose, we will throw them out.” He pushed him before Takeshi could say ‘no’.

**

“Do you want to call your mom?” Sousuke asked Rin when he saw Haru chatting with his father. It was a little confusing to him seeing Rin and Haru not even looking each other way, he would have thought that after being jailed for so long they would end up in each other’s arms.

“No,” Rin said quickly and seeing the surprise on his face added, “I do not want to worry her, let’s call her when we’re home.”

“You seem really nervous.” Sousuke smiled. “You’re safe now, you know.”

“Yeah.” Rin smiled and even he noticed the insincerity.

“Don’t have to be scared of my dad either,” Sousuke joked, trying to ignore that on the screen on his right the man was whistling while cleaning the blood off the boat.

“I am not.” Rin shook his head.

“Excited to see Sayomi?” Sousuke found this conversation awkward and difficult, but he was not going to judge - Rin was kidnapped and jailed for weeks. He needed his time.

“Of course.” Rin smiled and it hardly reached his eyes.

**

Takeshi stretched, his whole body aching. Satoru was standing right by his side, cringing seeing him smoking. Takeshi did not do it often, but he was feeling so uneasy knowing Rin was here that he needed to keep his hands busy.

“Just throw him overboard.” Satoru suggested.

“Stop that.” It wasn’t helping.

They both turned hearing light footsteps and Takeshi threw the cigarette out when he saw Koji coming their way. He put his hair up in a ponytail right on top of his head and looked more childish than ever. He was a cute kid, but Takeshi had a feeling he wasn’t as young as he looked.

“I thought you are asleep.” Satoru went to check on everybody himself. Sousuke with Rin, and Koji with Haru, only Ren following Nalin outside, were tucked in like kids while the adults grabbed a bottle of alcohol and sat together, enjoying the breeze.

“Sorry.” Koji stopped. “I just…”

“It’s okay.” Takeshi waved for him to come over and Koji walked up to them and placed himself between Takeshi and Satoru. “Are you okay?”

“I can’t sleep.” Koji grasped the railing.

“Must be a little stressful for you.” Takeshi leaned over the barrier and lightly bumped into his arm to make him smile. “But you really have nothing to worry about.”

“If they…” Koji started but stopped quickly.

“Go on.” Takeshi urged him.

“If my uncle will pay you, will you send me back?” He asked the question that kept him awake.

Takeshi felt his stomach drop. “No, kiddo. I will do everything to keep you safe from your uncle and the whole gang.”

“Really?”

“I promise.”

Koji hugged him tightly and he heard him sniff. Takeshi brought his arm around him, wishing he could both. The person he needed to speak with was Isao’s mother. She helped him so many times and Koji would definitely need psychological help. This was not something he could fix with love and conversation, this child was hurt beyond his understanding.

Satoru was watching him and Takeshi was not shocked anymore that he wanted to rescue the child, because who normal would not? Now he was curious how he started talking with and somehow taking care of the kid in the first place. And considering they were talking when Satoru hated him, he would have expected Koji to hate him, too, especially since his father killed his. While Koji’s father was a psychopath, maybe he would not hurt his child, like the uncle did.

“You’re too skinny.” Koji mumbled.

Takeshi smiled, a little surprised. “So is you.” But he was going to be fine once Isao’s mom would feed him.

“My ribs aren’t sticking out.” Koji disagreed.

“If you wouldn’t hug him so tight, they wouldn’t stick out so much.” Satoru suggested.

“No, they would.” Koji let Takeshi go and turned towards Satoru. “And you’re the one who told me he is too skinny!”

Takeshi chuckled. So, Koji was very straightforward. He was looking forward to finding out everything that Satoru blabbered about him.

“What else he said about me, Koji?” He asked interested.

“Nothing.” Satoru cut it short when Koji opened his mouth.

“Takeshi!!!” James screamed from the bow of the boat. “Bring us some alcohol!!!” He grinned, white teeth shining in the dark.

“The fuck am I, a waiter?!” Takeshi shouted back.

“Yes! Love you, baby!” James sent him a kiss.

Takeshi rolled his eyes.

“I can go.” Koji offered. “Is he your boyfriend?”

Takeshi laughed. Oh, this kid had no filter. “No, he is my best friend.” He ruffled his hair. “I will get it myself, just stay here with Satoru.” And he walked away, a warm feeling in his chest. This morning he was fighting with the feeling of sickness, thinking of rescuing Rin. But now he was on top of his yacht, the fresh air hitting his face, and Satoru, once an enemy, now his bodyguard, was chatting with Koji, a boy he was so happy they’ve managed to save, the boy having suffered more than enough. It made him sick to think what he had to go through. Rescuing him was most likely the best thing he had ever done for anybody. Yakuza was often involved in rescue missions and such, but he had never dealt with such horrifying abuse. Whoever, whatever made this boy walk downstairs that moment, thank you. Considering the fact that he felt partially responsible, made it even more important. They’ve also saved Haru, the kid who was kidnapped just because of who his father was. They were yet to see the damage those weeks did to him. He did not deserve it.

And Rin… He would worry about him later.

When fireworks exploded, he jumped out of his skin. Takeshi looked up quickly as he stood at the end of the boat and made his way to the edge instead of the door. Quite far away and yet visible on the sky, the fireworks brightened it up. He furrowed his eyebrows, uneasy feeling crawling up his spine, and he prayed it was just a lonely boat having a party.

But when he heard the familiar sound of a gun being loaded, he understood it was a signal.

And he turned slowly towards the sound of it and saw Rin standing in the doorway, pointing his gun right at him.

**

“Koji, you need to be a little careful when you ask people questions,” Satoru smiled, not wanting him to take it as bashing.

“Did I upset him?” He asked scared.

“No.” Satoru shook his head. “Takeshi is very easy going, but there are things that he is sensitive about, just like you and everybody else. That’s why we usually don’t ask very personal questions in case people would be hurt by them.”

“Okay.” Koji nodded, taking it in. How exactly he was meant to know what’s personal, though? And he wanted to ask, but he saw Satoru straightening up and looking over him, towards where the rest of the men were sitting. He turned his head to look there to.

“What is he doing here?” Satoru asked, eyebrows furrowed unhappily as he noticed Sousuke grabbing a glass of alcohol from the men. They were laughing together. He had to walk the left side of the boat for Satoru to completely miss him.

“What’s wrong?” Koji asked.

“I don’t want Rin and Takeshi to be alone.” Satoru murmured and noticed Sousuke quickly making his way to the back of the ship. Takeshi was close to the door and Satoru grasped Koji by his wrist and made his way towards there without another thought.

When the fireworks exploded, his first reaction was to pull Koji to the ground and cover his head. But when he realised it was just fireworks, they quickly stood up and walked towards him again.

Satoru knew that he was late, again, when Takeshi turned and froze, looking at someone standing in the doorway.

**

Sousuke shook his head as he walked, purposefully not taking the route where Satoru was standing. He did not care that his father trusted him, it was horribly toxic to Sousuke for him to do so. And frankly he was not sure whether his father did because he genuinely trusted him or for Isao, or lack of a better option. All was wrong.

Seeing him like a shivering mess, partly because he was ill and tired, obviously, but partly, what Sousuke believed, from stress this had to cause him and it was far from surprising, he thought that his father was hurting more than helping himself by choosing Satoru to be his bodyguard.

When the fireworks exploded, he automatically went down, thinking someone was attacking. He breathed out in relief when he noticed it were just fireworks and smiled when he noticed his father standing by the railing watching and then turning towards him.

But Takeshi did not see him, he was starring at the door completely frozen.

Sousuke knew something was wrong. His heart beat faster as he walked towards him and his eyes followed his father’s.

And the world, as he knew it, has ended.


	82. Traitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Rin, it’s my dad.” Sousuke’s voice broke.  
> Please, Rin, God… Not Takeshi. Not his dad.   
> Satoru could see Rin biting his teeth together, the trigger still not pulled, and he prayed he would drop the weapon. He would not have the guts to do it. He would not kill Sousuke’s father right in front of him. He could not.

“Put the gun down.” Satoru pointed his weapon at Rin, but the boy did not flinch. He was starring at Takeshi and only him, seemingly not even hearing anybody else. He was trained, clearly prepared for this moment, and Satoru felt the fear in his heart.

Takeshi was standing on his own and Satoru knew from the start that the distance between them was too long and he would not manage to cover him on time. So he pulled his gun out and pointed at Rin before he could notice him and his brain worked in overdrive trying to figure something out.

This was the worst situation imaginable. Takeshi had nowhere to go. Satoru could not get to him, if he tried, he would get Takeshi killed. He already failed him once and here he was failing him again.

And for a second he wondered whether there was some fucking curse surrounding this kid, because Satoru bashed Isao for letting him get hurt so often yet here he was, Katsu nearly never getting hurt, but after just a few weeks, Takeshi was alone again.

“Rin?”

Even Takeshi looked to the side when he heard his son’s voice. Sousuke was starring at Rin in shock, mouth open a little, and he paled visibly. Rin twitched just slightly, but he refused to look.

“What are you doing, put the gun down.” He said weakly.

Takeshi swallowed hard. This was everything he did not consider. Did not expect. If Rin would end up killing him, Sousuke was going to break. It was too much for him.

He should have told him. God, he should have told him and let him make his choice.

“Rin…” Sousuke tried again.

Takeshi thought of Satoru, Isao would never forgive his father for failing as a bodyguard, no matter how everybody would say he could not do anything. Worse, nobody would stand on Satoru’s side. And Satoru was so damn proud he would never forgive himself either.

“Rin, it’s my dad.” Sousuke’s voice broke.

Please, Rin, God… Not Takeshi. Not his dad.

Satoru could see Rin biting his teeth together, the trigger still not pulled, and he prayed he would drop the weapon. He would not have the guts to do it. He would not kill Sousuke’s father right in front of him. He could not.

But then he shot.

**

“NO!” Sousuke shouted seeing his father falling and he ran towards him, not caring what was happening behind him. “Dad!” He fell to his knees by his side, Takeshi lying in the pool of his own blood that was leaving his body quickly. “Dad…” Sousuke looked at his pained face, his own heart beating quickly, Takeshi pressing his hand to his stomach where he was wounded. “NALIN!” He shouted, but the men were already close. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” Sousuke covered Takeshi’s hand with his, pressing it harder to stop the bleeding, cringing hearing his dad’s pained whimper. He was pale and breathing with difficulty, weakening on his eyes horribly quick.

“Do not remove your hands.” Nalin finally joined him, Ren already told to bring his stuff. “God, I thought he was shot in the chest.” He breathed out in relief and reached for Takeshi’s face. “I am going to get the bullet out, but you need to stay awake.” He touched his cheek. “And it’s going to hurt like hell.”

Did Takeshi seriously roll his eyes at him? It made him wonder how many times he said that to him in the past few months, maybe that’s why Takeshi did not expect anything else from him anymore.

“I’ve got everything.” Ren quickly showed up by his father.

“You’re going to help me, get ready.” Nalin opened his bag, quickly finding everything he needed. “You will need to hold him down.” He eyed James and Naoko, standing shocked by them.

“You’re not going to put him to sleep?” James quickly sat behind Takeshi, putting his hands on his cheeks. “Hey.” He was fine. Everything was going to be fine. Nalin was going to take the bullet out, bandage him, and they were going to chat and plan how to murder that piece of shit.

And he was going to slap the shit out of Takeshi for thinking it was ever a good idea to save the trash.

“Calm down.” Nalin bashed him, not needing to hear his thoughts to know he was fuming. “I can’t give him anything more,” he explained. “What I gave him before the mission is still running through his veins, his heart would fail from more.” Nalin looked up when Satoru showed up, kneeling by Sousuke. “Put your hands below the wound to keep him down.” He ordered Satoru and he did without a word. “James, shoulders. Sousuke, ribs. Naoko, legs.”

**

Koji watched horrified as the blood slowly made its way towards his feet and he took a step back. He looked at the man who saved him, lying on the floor with the men holding him down as his body twisted from pain, the scream muffled from the cloth placed between his teeth.

**

Sousuke ensured Takeshi’s back did not leave the surface, but his dad was weakening, no more strength to lift his body, even head, to escape the pain. He felt his throat tightening when tears escaped Takeshi’s eyes.

“I’ve got the bullet.” Nalin said, Ren snatching it out of his hand. He could remember this boy just watching him when he was little, handing him whatever he asked for when he was older, and now, he did not need to use words. Ren was practically reading his mind. “Just stitches now, hold on.”

Nalin knew from just his breathing whether he should be alarmed or not. While Takeshi seemed to be getting worse to others, on the verge of collapsing, Nalin knew that the worst was over, and once he would put stitches in place, the bleeding would stop and with medicine and rest, Takeshi would get better. He felt sorry for him knowing the agony he was feeling, what Nalin feared from the beginning was ever needing to treat him without being able to knock him out first. His body was so used to painkillers, needing them everyday to function normally, that he would need an impossible amount to numb him from this. His heart would not be able to take it. And he could not put him to sleep without heart monitor and ventilator. “It’s okay,” he said quietly, bandaging him carefully. Takeshi was shivering just barely, the cold sinking through his thin body, others were trying not to panic because he was losing consciousness, but Nalin did not worry, he could sleep now that he stopped bleeding. “He’s going to be fine.”

“Let’s get him inside.” Satoru moved to lift him.

“Careful.” Nalin said but surprisingly Satoru was and he remembered that the man just let Takeshi get hurt again, guilt written on his face with a blade. It was going to sting him forever.

Satoru bit his teeth together when Takeshi whimpered in his arms, Satoru always found it worse than people screaming and shouting. Takeshi did not even have the strength to cry out.

Inside he lowered him gently on the sofa and Nalin grabbed blankets, quickly wrapping him up in them.

“Now you can sleep.” Nalin sat by his side and put his hand on his forehead, worried about the blue lips. But he was warming up. Nalin could see him holding onto consciousness as he asked him to and the moment he let him close his eyes, he did, and his breathing relaxed.

“When can you give him some painkillers?” James asked as he stood over them. Nalin was not sure whether he was panicking or stopping himself from snapping, but everybody knew that James was very sensitive when it came to Takeshi getting hurt.

“By the time we will dock, I will give him a shot so he will be able to walk on his own.” Nalin reassured him. And he would need to lie down the moment he would reach the house so the stitches would not break. But they would manage. Of course they would.

They were quiet for a few seconds.

“I thought he was pointing at his heart,” James whispered.

When James saw his brother, not remembering the last time he thought of Takeshi as just his friend, standing on his own and Rin with the gun in his hand, he panicked. It was not about considering Rin’s ability to do it or not, this boy already poisoned Takeshi, what was there to think about? It was trying to think of something to save Takeshi yet knowing he could only make the situation worse.

Feeling so useless made him sick.

“He was.” Satoru said, sitting on the chair by Takeshi’s head. “Haru pushed him.”

Nobody seemed to have noticed that and now they looked at Haru surprised.

“I tried to help.” Haru was with Koji on the opposite sofa, arms around himself. “I did not think, I just…” Did he make it worse?

“Well, if this is the case then you’ve saved his life.” Nalin said what nobody else would.

Rin, Takeshi’s son’s boyfriend, grandchild’s father, tried to kill him. Haru, Nanase’s son, Takeshi’s once biggest enemy, just saved his life. It was difficult to comprehend how much a life could twist everything around.

“I’m sure you’ve made your father proud.” James said.

Nalin rolled his eyes. James was always running his mouth when he was stressing.

“Where is that trash?” James walked up to Satoru, hands curling into fists.

“Locked up.” Satoru responded calmly, hiding his scratched knuckles.

“We need to make sure he does not escape.” Nalin said, hand reaching Takeshi’s cheek. He was warmer. That was good.

“He won’t. Trust me.” Satoru made sure of it.

Nalin looked at Sousuke when he kneeled on the floor, close to his father’s face. “Is he getting better?” He asked quietly.

He nodded. “He’s going to be fine.” Nalin put his hand on top of his shoulder.

Sousuke was a mess, white in his face, eyes teary, cheeks wet where he did not dry them properly, shaking hand reaching to touch his father’s arm.

“Isao is not going to forgive you that, you know?” James looked at Satoru.

“Jesus, James.” Nalin said exasperated. “Leave your anger for later, please.” As if James cared about Isao now.

“Anger?” James crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m just curious, really, how does it happen that Katsu does not get hurt for years and Takeshi gets hurt twice within weeks of you becoming his bodyguard?”

Satoru looked up. “Katsu did not have his own family trying to kill him.” He bit back and Nalin saw Sousuke wince, eyes closing tightly. Ouch.

“You’re speaking of yourself?” James was ready to fight.

“Why would I become his bodyguard if I wanted him to die?” Satoru shook his head. First his son, now this idiot.

“Because it’s an amazing deal for you, first you got your son back, Takeshi got the medicine for him, now he saved this kid for you. In return he nearly died, twice. Maybe he was meant to die, huh, and Haru fucked up the plan this time? Or you still have a few things on your mind that he could do for you? Is he just part of the plan, too?” James pointed at Haru.

“James.” Naoko was shaken by the whole situation, but this was not the time for an outburst. “Stop.” He walked up to him and grabbed his arms, pulling him away from Satoru who hasn’t moved.

James shook him off annoyed, but he did not say more.

“Why none of you are shocked this happened?” Sousuke asked keeping his eyes on his father’s face. They were angry. But the anger seemed to be coming from realisation that they had let it happen after they expected it to. They were not surprised Rin did it.

The silence that filled the room hit him like a slap. How much had they hid from him?

“I think you should talk with your dad about this.” Nalin said calmly.

Sousuke nodded slowly, lip bit. Takeshi was more unconscious than sleeping, breathing painfully. They all sat quiet watching him, not getting better but worse over time. He moved a little and opened his eyes, Nalin moving in closer to him. “I know it hurts, but try to sleep some more.”

Takeshi shook his head and winced, letting air out of his lungs slowly. It was obvious he was stopping himself from scowling from pain, jaw set.

“Can you give him anything?” Sousuke asked, wanting to take the pain on himself. If his father was showing it, it had to be impossible to deal with. He could remember them having an accident, Sousuke, then a child, thinking his father was fine, later finding out he was bleeding out. He showed none of it, only worried about him. He could remember when Satoru hit him and they found out about the poisoning, his father nearly dying. It was terrifying, but Takeshi bit his teeth together and did not say a word. He could remember when his father was tortured by Satoru, the pain excruciating, and it was not just physical but mental. He still won with the demons. He could remember Nalin cutting him apart, the scream and tears. Weeks in a hospital, stripped of strength. And he still fought it through.

But just because his dad was so strong did not make it any easier for him.

And now Rin put him through even more pain. His boyfriend tried to kill him.

His father could have died.

“Fuck’s sake.” Takeshi hissed, trying to lift himself up on the pillow, scowling and his arm refusing to lift his body.

“Don’t move.” Nalin put his hand on his shoulder.

“It fucking burns.” Takeshi flinched, his hand shaking as he tried to press it against his stomach.

Nalin caught it quickly. “It is not burning, it’s just pain.” It was severe, so Takeshi felt the burn, his body confused, trying to help itself. He should not be awake. “Hold his hand.” He told Sousuke and made his way towards Ren and the bag with medicine. They had to figure something out.

“Just give him something light at least.” Sousuke begged.

“Nothing light works for him anymore.” He needed something strong and if he would give it to him, it would kill him. It was as simple as that. Nalin searched the bag, threw it away angrily, he knew he would not find anything, but it was still frustrating. He went to the bathroom and grabbed a cloth from there, keeping it under cold water till his skin burned. They all looked at him as if expecting him to figure something out and the disappointment was obvious when he put the cloth on Takeshi’s forehead and cold hands on his red cheeks. But a grateful sigh escaped Takeshi’s throat and Nalin smiled.

“Why?” Sousuke asked.

“Huh?”

“Why nothing light works on him anymore?”

Nalin sighed. Sousuke broke from seeing his boyfriend shooting his father, how the hell would he take the poisoning?

“Because he’s living on drugs, thanks to…” James started angrily.

“James.” Takeshi hissed and James’s hands curled into fists. “Stop.”

Sousuke looked from one to another. “No.” He stood up and faced James. “Thanks to who? Just tell me what the fuck is going on!” He shouted.

Nalin held Takeshi down, looking away from the burning gaze. He knew James would tell. And he did not feel like stopping him anymore.

“Rin poisoned him,” James spit out. “Weeks ago. That’s why your father worsens everyday. It’s fucking killing him. And we don’t have a fucking cure.” He had no sympathy. It was partly Sousuke’s fault. And he was old enough to deal with it. Not a child who needed to be protected anymore.

“What?” Sousuke whispered and they thought he would fall. He stood starstruck and looked at all of them, only Naoko seemingly gobsmacked. “What?!”

“Sousuke,” Takeshi tried to make his voice stronger, but he lost it when Sousuke sat on the floor by him, eyes big in shock, trying to read him. He was not prepared, he felt sick, Sousuke was never meant to find out.

“Talk.”

**

They watched Takeshi telling Sousuke everything in silence. Nobody dared to disturb, even when Takeshi’s voice was weakening. Sousuke sat by him and listened to him like an innocent child learning the most important lesson from his father.

James did not feel the anger anymore, he sat defeated by Naoko with his face in his hands, feeling as if he was listening for the first time, too. He just hoped that Sousuke was connecting the dots, Takeshi cleverly telling the story in a way so the boy would feel no blame.

When Takeshi finished, silence filled the room.

“I’ve attacked you so many times over the past few weeks,” Sousuke whispered. His brain was refusing to comprehend that Rin was behind everything horrible that his father went through lately. It wasn’t his Rin. It was someone else. The same name, different person. It just made no sense.

“You did not know.” Takeshi put his cheek on the pillow. Strength was leaving him, but he did not want to faint before ensuring that Sousuke did not blame himself. When he went too far, they’ve punished him. And that was enough.

“So, he… He did it before Sayomi was born,” Sousuke was unsure whether he was speaking to them or himself. “And when she was born and the gang caused the car accident, they had to know from him or his mother… So you found out you were sick when Sayomi was born, and then Nao busted them during her Christening…” Right, he thought, he needed to put all of this together, he needed to understand, make it real. Because it was real. God, it was real. “That’s how you knew it was poisoning, and him, and…” He chuckled hysterically. “I’ve attacked you in front of everybody accusing you of leaving him alone for the gang to kill, but he was actually running away to them after poisoning you… He wanted to take her to them…” That’s why his father took her from Rin.

“Sousuke…”

“So that’s why the cameras you’ve installed on the ships did not work, because he told them…” He wiped the tears off his face. “And when I broke into your room…”

“He had nothing to do with the baby,” Takeshi said quietly.

Sousuke chuckled. “That’s… That’s great, he wasn’t responsible for this tragedy…” He nodded quickly, unsure what he was feeling, it just hurt, it hurt so much… His father was…

His father was dying. Because of Rin.

His. Father. Was. Dying.

All this time he was searching for reasons, trying to connect the dots, but he would never, ever, think of Rin. How could he…

“He could not just…” Sousuke breathed in and out, trying to remain calm. “There had to be a reason…”

“You think anything excuses what he did?” James snapped.

“James, shut up!” Nalin snapped and he looked at him in shock.

“I am not excusing anything.” Sousuke shook his head. That was not what he meant. “It’s just…” And then he remembered Rin making him lose trust when he was freaking out about Haru and it had to be around the same time he poisoned his father. He even warned Takeshi, separated Rin from the gang that day. “I thought… That maybe he did it for you, but…” He looked at Haru. But Haru was jailed when they came today. Hurt. And he and Rin were not speaking.

“He did say they’ve threatened him.” Takeshi remembered.

“We’ve all been threatened,” James said sarcastically, not caring if anybody would attack him again.

“He told me he’s made a deal with them,” Haru spoke up and they all faced him. “A few weeks ago they have brought me up to the dining room and he was there. Rin explained that they’ve approached him before he poisoned you, but when they later kidnapped me, he told them he will do whatever as long as they will let me go.” It was difficult to look in Takeshi’s face. “They did not, obviously…”

Sousuke starred.

“Your father asked Takeshi for help, but before he could do anything Rin poisoned him.” Nalin said, seeing Takeshi closing his eyes. Sweat covered his prominent collar bones and his cheeks were red, eyes sick with dark shadows underneath. He was holding onto last sources of strength. “The gang did not let you go anyway and it actually slowed us down from saving you as well, because Takeshi was sick.”

Haru smiled sadly. “They let us have a dinner together and then I had to go back to the cell. Rin explained that they won’t let me go because it would prove that he was behind it.” He shook his head. “Even after a while I remained a prisoner… I think this time they were hiding behind the possibility of you guys looking for me, so it needed to look like kidnapping.” A chuckle. “But somehow he could just wait till today to be put in the cell.” He shrugged. “I thought they’ve brainwashed him.” It was clear that it was not the case.

“I think he is stupid and hates you.” James looked at Takeshi who smiled.

“Nalin.” Takeshi lifted his healthy hand to catch his.

“Yes, darling?”

“I need a shot.”

“Not yet.”

“Please.” It. Fucking. Hurt.

“No.”

“I swear I will ask Satoru to punch you,” he whined, letting it go. When he was busy explaining, he could ignore it just enough to let a few minutes pass. But now it hit again, and he tried to roll on his side, cringing when Nalin held him down. He wanted to move, sit up, anything. He felt the pain spreading, making his hand shake, as if something was crawling up his spine, so uncomfortable. He wanted to scratch his skin off.

“I am not going to punch him for not giving you a heart attack.” Satoru rolled his eyes.

“What kind of bodyguard are you.” Takeshi rolled his hand into a fist, digging nails into the palm. It was helping with the crawling feeling and he closed his eyes tightly, teeth bitten together.

He was burning.

“Crap one, apparently,” Satoru murmured to himself, glad nobody heard him.

Nalin needed to look at his son once to have him bring the injection to him. He could see Takeshi hurting himself so he decided to take his chance. “I swear if you will get a heart attack, I will let you die.” He leaned over him to find the vein on the inside of his arm.

“Ohh.” Takeshi breathed out and smiled at the touch of the needle. The potion wasn’t comfortable, so strong it made his veins burn, but he knew in a minute it would turn into complete nothingness and he could not wait. “Thank you,” he whispered, and suddenly the pain was gone, the pillow became so soft, he could feel Sousuke’s hand holding his, and Nalin’s hands on his cheeks, and the light breeze coming from the outside.

“Sleep.” It made Nalin smile to see his face relaxing.

**

Sousuke pressed his forehead to Takeshi’s hand which he held tightly in both of his.

All those months he thought Rin was treated unfairly. Anger growing inside of him, thinking nobody cares about him, blaming his father for it.

He attacked his father thinking he left Rin on his own for the gang to kidnap and hurt.

Screamed, nearly hit his dad in front of everyone. Took Sayomi from him, telling him to stay away from them.

And when he broke into his bedroom, found the abortion documents and threw them in his face, using them to hate him more for what he thought he did to Rin.

All this time his dad was dying because of Rin.

“Hey.” He felt his father returning the grasp and Sousuke looked up, not letting go. “It’s okay.”

Sousuke tried to smile, but he felt his chest tightening and a sob escaped his throat. He hid his face behind their hands and his shoulders shook.

His dad was dying.

“Come here, babyboy.” Takeshi could not move much but he pulled him into his arms and Sousuke followed gladly, quickly wrapping his arms around him and hiding his face in the crook of his neck. “Shhh, it’s okay…” Takeshi stroked his hair, feeling the tears on his neck.

Sousuke shook his head, holding him tight. “No, it’s not,” he sobbed. “I am sorry. I am so sorry.”

Takeshi kept his breathing even, not wanting to cry himself.

“Why you hid this from me?” Sousuke asked, not accused, trying to calm himself down. But as his brain was trying to absorb the information, he was trying to push it away. It was some bad dream. Some horrible, disgusting dream. He was going to wake up and everything was going to be fine.

“I just tried to protect you,” Takeshi whispered.

When was the last time they’ve hugged?

**

“You’re okay?” Satoru caught Takeshi as he wobbled on his feet after he helped him stand up from the bed. Nalin watched him carefully, concern on his face.

Koji and Haru were sat in the corner, pretending to be chatting.

“Yes.” Takeshi felt lightheaded, but nothing a few deep breaths could not overcome.

“Be very careful,” Nalin warned him. “A few steps to the car, then home, and you’re going to lie down and rest.”

“Okay.” Takeshi smiled. He genuinely meant it, knowing he would not manage to do anything more anyway. “Where’s Sousuke?”

Takeshi fell asleep for about an hour after his son let him go, but hand remaining on his. When he woke up, he was gone.

“He’s outside. Getting some fresh air.” Satoru knew he could let Takeshi stand on his own, the man fairly stable, but something did not want to let him do it.

He let him get fucking hurt again.

“Okay,” Takeshi nodded. “I will go and find him and you can bring Rin out.” Just in time, James and Naoko walked back inside. “Mind helping me?” Takeshi smiled to Naoko and he quickly switched places with Satoru, offering him his arm like a gentleman, making Takeshi chuckle.

He took it gratefully and before he left he noticed James cracking his neck.

**

“There is so much you have not told me,” Naoko said quietly as he and Takeshi walked outside and towards Sousuke who was at the front of the yacht.

“I was meant to, eventually.” Takeshi really did not think Naoko needed to be told anything after he lost his family. He had enough to fill his thoughts.

“And you’ve lost…” Naoko quickly looked at him. “I am sorry.”

Takeshi sighed. “At least it happened when the baby could not feel a thing.” It hurt and it would always hurt, but he tried to appreciate that it could had been worse.

They reached Sousuke, leaning on the railing with his eyes closed, clearly thankful for the cold breeze on his cheeks. Takeshi could not really imagine what he was feeling now, the amount of betrayal, from Rin and even from his own father. He knew that if not his state, Sousuke would hate him for all the lies. 

“Kiddo.”

Sousuke turned, something different in his face. He smiled, small relief seeing his father standing on his legs. “What now?” He asked quietly.

“James, Naoko and Ren are going to drive with Rin in one car, the rest of us in another.” Takeshi explained softly. “Let’s wait here…”

“No.” Sousuke shook his head. “I will need to look in his face sooner or later anyway, dad.” His strength made Takeshi suspicious.

“Do you want to see him, though?” Naoko asked Takeshi.

“Please. I put my life in Satoru’s hands.” What was Rin in comparison?

“Ah, that…” Sousuke started walking slowly towards the back of the yacht and they followed. “What James said…”

“I trust Satoru.” Takeshi was unconscious when Satoru saved him last time, but this time he could see the horror on his face when he realised he could not do anything.

While others saw it as Satoru’s failure, Takeshi lost any doubt that he did not really think he still had.

Sousuke stopped suddenly. Rin was on the floor, James with his knee on his back, tying his hands tightly. He seemed angry and they’ve noticed his red knuckles.

It was obvious he punched Rin.

“He was trying to escape.” Satoru explained, standing by them, with rest of the men by his side. “Seems they gave him quite a training.” He walked over to Takeshi and switched places with Naoko. “Come on. The car’s waiting. I want you safe in the house as soon as possible.” He looked at Sousuke. “And you.”

**

Sousuke appreciated James keeping Rin’s head down till he was inside the car with his father and everybody but Naoko, Ren and James who took Rin elsewhere.

His father winced as he sat between him and Satoru. He seemed to had gotten paler again, but Nalin was right there, making sure he was okay, Haru and Koji by his side opposite to them.

“Get some sleep.” He patted Takeshi on the knee.

He shook his head. “I’m cool. Really.” He slid a little down the sit to not put so much pressure on the wound. “I want to keep Rin in the basement tonight, before making any official moves.” He faced his son. “You’re okay with that?”

Sousuke tried to be as detached from the situation as possible. “Of course. Anything, I… If you want to judge… yourself or do an official trial, I…” Be detached. Be detached.

“Let’s not think about this tonight.” Takeshi said quietly.

There was nothing to decide. He knew he had no choice, but to put the kid on trial. There was no reason for him to protect him anymore, and if anything, then Sousuke did not have to watch. Rin was a tool in the gang’s hands, he attacked him again, there were many people involved at this point, Sousuke knew, and Takeshi wanted revenge, more for others than himself, and a bit of a show, to gain the respect he lost over the past few months.

If he was not so drugged, he would let the anger get to him, but not when Sousuke was still there, hands shaking yet face still and emotionless. Not everything could be hidden.

**

Satoru called Isao when Takeshi went to look for Sousuke, knowing that the man would not do it himself, trying to hide what happened. He wondered whether Takeshi could lie to himself this well or he genuinely could not see how bad he looked.

They arrived first at home, and Yakuza with Nanase were waiting outside, his son in the wheelchair, hands tight on the wheels, stressed. Satoru hoped that soon he would be able to walk again - it was painful to watch his body lose muscles, become weaker and dependable on others. His son could argue how they were so different from each other, and maybe they were, but he could imagine very well how he felt right now, even if reacting differently to it than Satoru did himself.

Satoru smiled to himself remembering throwing a fit and Katsu lying over him to stop him from getting off the bed. He missed that sweet weight.

“Haru!” Nanase shouted seeing his son and ran towards him, Haru happily wrapping his arms around his middle as his father stole him into a tight hug. “Son.” He did not care about the tears running down his cheeks as all of Yakuza watched him. His son was back and he was alive. Nanase kissed the top of his head.

Takeshi smiled and walked straight into Isao’s arms, Satoru’s son hugging him tightly but first pulling him into his lap so he would stop bending forward and hurting himself. And that was how Takeshi realised Satoru told him everything. Satoru shrugged when the boy sent him a dirty look.

“Where is he?” Iwao stood with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Who is he?” Isao asked at the same time, eyes on Koji who hid behind Satoru as he noticed all of them starring at him.

“Here.” Takeshi stood up and turned with his hand on Isao’s shoulder, another car arriving by them. Iwao and Nobu made their way towards it to help, Kin and Akira staying by their side. “And this is Koji.” He walked up to him and put his arm around him, Koji unsurely following him. “And he needs our help.”

“Hey, kiddo.” Isao did not need to ask to assume the child was abused, but he could tell there was something worse going on for Takeshi to only save him.

Koji nodded his head in respect, making him chuckle. “No need for that, Koji, I’m just a…” And he stopped. Who, bodyguard? He wasn’t. Not anymore. And he felt a little sick realising the identity he was always associated with was gone.

Who was he now, really?

“Isao is Satoru’s son.” Takeshi grinned, a secret look he shared with Koji that Isao did not understand. His father had something to do with this? Well, the kid did hide behind him out of everybody. “He’s also my fiancé and bodyguard, but Satoru is filling his shoes while he’s healing.”

Isao smiled gratefully.

“So when you get married, Satoru will be your dad, too?” Koji asked excited.

They froze in silence and Takeshi felt cold worry. He opened his mouth to say something, unsure as to what, and stopped.

“Well, that’s a thought.” Isao chuckled, saving them from the awkwardness and this time Takeshi smiled thankfully. A quick look at Satoru ensured him that his father just realised himself what their marriage would mean.

His face was hilarious.

“I’m okay!” They heard Ren’s laugh and Takeshi turned and saw Kisumi hanging on his neck, checking whether definitely nothing happened to him.

“I did not even notice him.” Takeshi snorted. At which point Kisumi ran past him exactly?

“Where do you want him?” Iwao shouted from the distance and they finally looked towards the other car.

James was holding Rin who had his scared eyes on them, half of his face bloody from the punch. Takeshi knew who hit this hard. Sousuke was standing by him, face blank and a little sick. Takeshi felt Isao’s hand on his back and everybody watching him to see what decision he would make.

He had no choice anymore.

“Basement.” Takeshi said simply. “We’re going to figure out the rest tomorrow.”

“There’s nothing to figure out anymore, is it?” James nearly threatened.

“James.” Takeshi warned him. This wasn’t about him, it was about Sousuke. He did not need anymore stress today.

He shook his head but dragged Rin in front of him, Nobu and Iwao following. Sousuke stayed behind and Takeshi showed him to come over which he did unsurely till Takeshi wrapped his arm around him.

“I am sorry.” Sousuke said quietly to Isao. He seemed surprised. “For being an asshole.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Isao shook hands with him, smile on his face, but deep inside he worried for the boy. He knew that blank face, it did not mean he accepted what happened or dealt with it. He was hiding his emotions just like Takeshi.

“Okay, let’s get inside, we need to be careful.” Satoru hurried them up.

“Takeshi.” Nanase spoke up suddenly, and Takeshi faced him only to be grabbed into a tight hug. He stilled in shock. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome…?” It took him a moment before he lifted his arm and patted him on his back.

“That’s a twist I did not expect.” Kisumi whispered, suddenly showing by Sousuke who jumped a little.

Nanase did not seem bothered by the silence and grabbed Takeshi by his arms. “As promised, you have my loyalty. Anything you need that concerns getting rid of those fuckers, just say a word.”

“Actually…” Takeshi lifted his finger. “I am pretty sure we’ve agreed that you are going to be loyal to Yakuza, not just to one business.”

Nanase starred and finally sighed in defeat. “Fine.”

“Perfect!”

**

They’ve all starred at Takeshi as he told them about the journey. Sat in the living room, Satoru checking the security, the sound of doors and windows locking and metallic blinds rolling down windows, lights brightening the room. Koji was stuck to Takeshi’s side, Sousuke by Kisumi who wrapped his arm around his, cheek on his shoulder. Ren pouted his lips just a little.

Koji’s story was told vaguely, enough to make them use their imagination, not enough to scare Koji himself. For Kisumi’s sake, when mentioning poisoning, he did not mention the upcoming death.

“Why would he do that?” Kisumi whispered. “I thought he felt like part of the family.”

“I did not exactly make it easy for him.” Takeshi smiled.

“You’re right, buying them an apartment to live in together and literally saying ‘welcome to family’ sounds cold,” Iwao said sarcastically.

“You know I was a dick to him.”

“You were a dick to all of us and we did not try to kill you. Twice.” Akira threw a pillow at him.

“But you’re okay now?” Kisumi asked.

Takeshi licked his lips. None of them spoke.

“You’re not.” Kisumi answered his own question. “But you will be, right?”

“We’re going to find a cure.” Sousuke spoke up, surprising them. He sounded strongest of them all.

“You knew for months and you did not find anything?” Kisumi panicked. “But the medicine you’ve heard about…?” He touched Ren’s arm.

“I am taking strong meds to keep me going.” Takeshi explained.

“And.” Nalin sensed the chance to ensure that Takeshi would have no choice but to take the next step. “We actually might have a cure, but your father is refusing to take it.”

“What?” Sousuke snapped.

“It’s not a cure,” Takeshi explained.

“You do not know how good the results might be, if it won’t heal you completely it will at least slow down the damage,” Nalin interrupted irritated.

“Or kill me.” Takeshi said angrily. “I’ve got too much shit to do to risk dying now.”

“You’re going to die if you won’t try anything!”

“Stop.” Isao lifted his hand. They all went silent. Before he could continue, they heard a patting sound and saw the dog happily jumping off the stairs. He made his way towards Takeshi and Koji screeched scared trying to hide behind him.

“It’s okay.” Takeshi let him, catching Fluff’s face before he could jump into his arms. “Calm down, pup.” He chuckled seeing the waggling tail, nose trying to get a sniff of Koji. “Hey.” He reached for Koji. “He’s harmless, really. Look.” He took his hand in his and let Fluff sniff and lick him, making Koji giggle. “You can pet him.”

Koji unsurely looked at the dog from behind him and let Takeshi take his hand again, putting it on top of Fluff’s head. “Oh, he’s soft.” He said happily, forgetting about the fear, and sat close to him, both hands scratching Fluff behind his ears.

“He likes you.”

“What is that, horse on steroids?” Nanase asked.

“Don’t call my puppy fat, that’s just fur!” Takeshi answered insulted, Koji already hugging Fluff, the dog waiting patiently.

Nanase lifted his hands in defence.

“I don’t think I’m getting my dog back.” Sousuke murmured. They looked at him unsurely and his cheeks reddened. What the hell was he thinking about? About a dog at Matsuokas while Rin was in his fucking basement? Jesus. “Where’s yours?” He asked Kisumi.

“With Ren’s.”

“Which is?”

“I bought them a land so they have where to play.” Ren grinned.

Nalin was far from surprised. Of course his son bought a whole land for dogs.

“Are any of the dogs trained to protect?” Satoru asked, knowing the answer.

“No, they’re for hugs.” Ren shrugged.

Satoru sighed. Katsu had killing machines, not dogs.

“We need a plan.” Nobu spoke up. It’s been too long, months of ditching conversations, plans, Takeshi working on his own, not healing himself, Nalin slowly losing it, Isao getting hurt, Sousuke not knowing a thing, now they had a child who was the son of the boss who was killed and his psychopathic uncle was looking for. Enough. “Now.”

“We are staying here tonight.” Takeshi said, Koji letting go off Fluff who put his head in his lap, the boy continuing to stroke him. “And having a sleepover together.” He noticed that Koji froze.

“You do not mean us, do you?” Nanase asked.

“I mean all of us.” Takeshi was not joking. “We need to see what hell the gang will unleash… if anything. I am not giving them a chance to harm any of us now that they are furious. We’re staying in one room where it is safe. And if they will manage to get through anyway, we’re together.”

They all looked sceptic, but Satoru nodded. “It’s a good idea.”

“I like sleepovers.” Kisumi clapped his hands together. Ren watched him stare in one place for a while since he heard about Takeshi’s condition, and suddenly it was as if he pushed it to the back of his mind. Delusion. Beautiful thing, he thought. He could never do it.

“If they won’t manage to get us today, they will try tomorrow.” Nanase did not understand the point.

“Tonight, they’re furious. They will cool down till tomorrow and start working on a plan instead.” Of course they would continue to attack. But there was nothing worse than the first twenty four hours.

“Fine.” Nanase sighed. Sleeping in one room with those bastards? Fuck his life.

“Now.” Nobu was not finished. “When you’re getting the chemo?”

“Once it is safe to.” Takeshi answered dismissively.

“Takeshi, it’s only going to get more dangerous.” Nobu shook his head. If he really wanted to wait till it was safe, he would had taken the chemo before the rescue mission. “You need to take it.” He stated. “There’s no excuses anymore.”

“I will take it when I choose to.” Takeshi said and his voice stung them all.

“It’s late,” Isao said quietly. “Let’s wait the night. We will make more plans tomorrow.” Once they would see the damage.

**

They’ve changed the living room into a bedroom, sofas extended, mattresses in between, so they all could fit somehow. Having Isao’s mother and Sayomi as the only ladies within so many men, Takeshi made sure they could sleep on a separate mattress.

Takeshi sighed as he could finally lean on Isao, both of them on the left side of the sofa. The drugs were doing wonders, but he was only just shot. Koji stuck to his side, so quiet.

“You’re okay?” Takeshi stroked his cheek.

He nodded quickly and clung more.

“What’s up, kid?” Isao reached over Takeshi’s shoulders and ruffled Koji’s hair. He shook his head.

“Takeshi?!” James shouted from the kitchen.

“Yeah?” Takehsi lifted himself a little.

“You don’t mind, do you?” The man cocked his eyebrow, a bottle of wine in his hand.

“I won’t if you will share.” Takeshi smiled.

They all needed a glass.

**

Takeshi grabbed the pills from the cupboard and poured himself a glass of water. He swallowed them, pain quickly disappearing leaving only the shivers. The room was filled with chatting, hopefully nobody seeing it.

“Hey.” Takeshi noticed Koji walking up to him and smiled. “Are you going to tell me now what happened?” He asked quietly.

Koji nodded.

“Go on.” Takeshi wrapped his arm around him, bending a little.

“When you say sleepover.” Koji whispered. “Do you mean… I… I will do whatever you want, but I thought you’re not… it would be different…” Koji bent his fingers and Takeshi noticed the tears in his eyes.

“Kiddo, what are you talking about?” He asked concerned, slipping down to his knees hoping it will make Koji feel braver.

“Do I have to sleep with all of you?” Koji asked.

Takeshi nearly hit himself in the face. What a genius idea, really, to tell the child who only escaped his rapist uncle to sleep with a group of men. He hoped it was the drugs stopping his brain from working properly, how could he not think of that?

“No, of course not.” Takeshi caught his hands. “We will figure something out, so you have your own separate space.” He looked up when he saw Satoru walking up to Koji.

“That’s not what he means, Takeshi,” Satoru said quietly.

“Huh?” Now he was confused.

“Koji means sex, not sleep.” He watched him pale.

Takeshi froze. No. No, no, no.

“So I do not have to?” Koji asked unsurely, turning his head towards Satoru.

“No,” Takeshi spoke quickly and then took a deep breath in. “Listen, Koji.” He put his hand on his arm. “Nobody is going to touch you here. Nobody wants to, they’re all good people, they would never think of doing anything like that. I promise.”

“Okay…” Koji said, still unsure. “It’s just sleep…?”

“It’s just sleep.” Takeshi repeated. “You’re free, Koji. Nobody had the right to touch you without your permission then, and nobody has it now.”

“But they did anyway.” Koji shrugged. When he reached certain age he understood that what was happening was not normal, Satoru explained a lot to him and it was such a relief to know that when his mind screamed whenever they did it to him, they were wrong, not him, but he was still confused about many things.

“You could not stop them, kid.” Satoru put his hand on his shoulder. “But now you are free, and we won’t let anybody touch you. And if anybody tries, then you scream bloody murder and do everything to protect yourself.”

“I don’t have to let them?” He asked surprised. Now he actually could push them away?

“Nobody has a right to touch you without your permission.” Takeshi felt lightheaded. What was happening to Koji over the years was horrifying, but the fact that he was so confused about the basics and what people could or could not do to him… The fact that he thought he would need to do it here, too. How did people believe in God when he was letting people get hurt like this? “Oh…” He gasped when Koji went to his knees to hug him tightly around his neck, grateful sobs escaping his body. “Don’t thank me for that, you should not thank for such things…” He wrapped his arm around him.

“Come on.” Satoru watched them for a while. “We all need some sleep.” When Koji let go, Satoru extended his hand towards Takeshi, seeing him struggling to lift himself up. He pulled him up and wrapped his arm around him, Takeshi pale. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah…”

Takeshi smiled when he saw Isao and slipped on the space by him, body shaking a little. Koji was right after him, and he felt better within seconds, their body warmth helping.

“It’s been a while since you hugged me.” Kisumi gave Isao a look.

Isao spread his arms and Kisumi squealed happily and jumped in them.

“Ta-shi!” Sayomi called for him in Sousuke’s arms as he walked downstairs, her hair wet and cheeks red from the bath she just had. “Ta-shi, Ta-shi!”

“Okay, okay…” Sousuke chuckled and sat with her between Takeshi and Isao, watching so she would not hurt Takeshi by accident as she climbed on top of him.

“Taaa-shi.” She wrapped her little arms around his neck.

He kissed her temple, holding her close, feeling his heart warming. He loved her so much.

“God, she’s cute.” Ren sighed.

“Don’t get ideas.” Nalin gave him a look.

Kisumi chuckled in Isao’s arms.

“Don’t get ideas.” Isao agreed with Nalin, very openly.

“Thanks for the shaming, you guys.” Sousuke lied down, head on Takeshi’s legs.

Sayomi giggled and caught his nose. “Dada.”

“It’s no shaming, we knew you’re going to deal, whereas this one here…” Isao tugged at Kisumi’s hair, making him pout. “Exactly. Still a baby himself.”

“I don’t want to be the spoilsport, but I’m fucking tired, can we go to sleep?” Akira yawned.

“Of course, spoilsport.” Isao smiled to him.

Akira sent him a kiss in the air.

“Come on, pumpkin.” Sousuke grabbed Sayomi, gave her a kiss and handed her to her grandmother. “Have sweet dreams.”

“Dada?”

“Dad’s sleeping right here.” Isao’s mother smiled. Their mattresses were right by.

Takeshi watched his son. Of course he was mature enough to provide for a child and make her happy, but it did not mean he wasn’t a young man who had too much thrown at him. He did not crumble when he lost Rin, but he knew he would get him back. Now, he knew there was nothing to wait for anymore apart from one horrible day.

Takeshi knew how it felt becoming a single dad.

“Come here, you.” He beckoned his finger and Sousuke shook his head, because, gosh, dad, I am not a child anymore, but he crawled into his hug nevertheless. “I love you.” Takeshi kissed the top of his head.

Sousuke swallowed hard. Don’t cry, you dumbshit, he thought.

“Let’s get comfortable,” Isao whispered, lips on Takeshi’s ear.

Takeshi quickly moved them exactly the way he wanted. Koji, safe and not tense anymore, between him and Isao. Kisumi stuck to Isao’s side, Sousuke to Takeshi’s. And Satoru was right by Sousuke. Kisumi tried not to giggle when he saw Ren clinging to Nalin, opposite to them.

They all fell asleep the moment their heads touched pillows.

**

“Shh.” Takeshi could not move much with Sousuke hugging him from one side and Koji another, and with one hand unmoving, but he felt the blonde boy whimpering in his sleep and he put his free hand on his cheek, trying to calm him down.

Takeshi felt Isao’s hand in his hair and looked up, Isao mouthing “Are you okay?”.

He nodded his head and realised why Isao was asking when he put his hand on his forehead.

Takeshi was burning.

“I’m okay,” he mouthed back, not feeling any worse. Maybe he had a little fever overall and the boys holding him like two heaters on the sides made him warmer. His stomach did not even hurt.

Isao, as Isao, nodded in understanding but did not stop touching him, judging his ‘wellness’ himself. They fell asleep again.

**

Satoru smiled to himself, knowing well enough that Isao was not actually sleeping, just like him. Safe or not, Shiginos do not sleep with Yamazaki right by their side, wounded, sick, and with danger warning on the highest level.

They both shot up when every single phone in the room started ringing at the same time.

“What the hell.” The other men grabbed for their phones, voices sleepy and angry.

Sayomi called for Sousuke, crying after woken up so suddenly, Isao’s mother cooing her and handing to Sousuke who hugged her, mind a little disoriented. Koji clung to Takeshi who lifted himself a little, Isao and Satoru clearly wide awake and covering.

“No, he’s fine, what are you talking about?” They’ve heard Nobu’s confused voice.

“Turn the TV on.” Iwao quickly stood up and grabbed the remote himself, the sudden light blinding them for a second.

They all lost their voices.

The TV shone with a black and white picture of Takeshi, and on the side, the information about his death.

There was no sound.


	83. We will find the rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They say there’s always a rainbow after the rain.”  
> “I’ve drowned in that rain,” Takeshi closed his eyes.  
> “Don’t say that.” He tightened his hand. “We will find the rainbow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thank you to @SpaceShark - you've made my day <3

“Who’s doing this?” Sousuke choked on his voice.

“I am calling the channel.” Nobu said, phone pressed to his ear.

Takeshi kept his arm around Koji, starring in shock at the screen. It was him. An announcement of his death. He was seeing what his family was going to see on the day of his death and the public finding out. There was a cold feeling crawling up his spine.

And then the TV went black for a moment, and they hoped it was over even if Nobu still did not get a response, but it was not. A funeral showed on the screen, the haunting music, a casket being carried to the church.

“Oh, God.” Kisumi whispered, hiding behind his father. What was going on?

It seemed to be put together from random videos to appear as his funeral and Takeshi cringed when he saw his father being laid to rest. Of course. All the men who attended his would be on Takeshi’s too. It was going to be very similar.

“Takeshi.”

He starred. The casket, the people, the music, his picture with the dates of his birth and death…

“Takeshi, it is Shiro.”

Takeshi blinked. “Huh?” He looked at Isao who was handing him his phone. “Shiro?” Takeshi asked, confused.

“Oh, thank God.” Shiro breathed out. “You’re alive. Of course you’re fucking alive. I mean, fuck, when that funeral started playing, that made no sense, but, fuck…”

“Shiro.” Takeshi smiled after gathering his thoughts. Fingers pressed to his eyes, the shock finally disappeared and his mind cleared. “I am fine.”

“Has someone fucked up or…?”

“We’ve rescued the boys today,” Takeshi explained. “I think that’s their response.”

“I thought they wanted you to take them?”

“Rin and Haru, yes, not the nephew of the boss.”

“Fucking hell, Takeshi. Are you nuts?” he asked. “Don’t answer that, I know you are.”

He smiled. “You would, too. Trust me.”

“Are you safe?”

“Couldn’t possibly be more.” He smiled. It was good to hear your voice again, Takeshi thought.

“Okay, I will try to find out anything and release information that you’re fine.”

Takeshi could hear the clicking of the keyboard already. “Thank you.”

“Speak to you soon.” And he ended the conversation.

“What did he say?” Nobu asked, phone still pressed to his ear.

“He will try to find out what’s going on and release information that I am not dead.”

“Good.” Nobu nodded and then shook his head. “Either their line is cut or the gang took over.”

“You got anything yet?” Nalin asked Ren who was searching for information on his laptop.

“People are freaking out on social media, but nothing from anybody official.” Ren bit the inside of his cheek.

“What are you doing?” Iwao asked when Akira grabbed the remote from his hand and turned the TV off. “Hey!”

“It’s just freaking everybody out! I want it off!” Akira snapped.

“I do not like it either, but we need to watch what the fuck is going on!” Iwao protested and took the remote off him, TV back on.

Akira growled in frustration and walked away to the kitchen, as far away from them as possible.

“Keep your eyes closed.” Sousuke ensured Sayomi was not looking at the TV. He kissed the top of her head, watching her slowly falling asleep again. It was not helping that he was shaking himself.

“Got it.” Ren said suddenly. “A few gang members broke into the building of the channel, but the police has now detained them.” And as he said it, the cruel video has ended and a woman showed up, a news layout surrounding her.

She quickly explained the situation that Ren just described himself. Three gang members were already with the police, no more damage caused apart from the video that scared many. She thanked other channels that jumped in to reassure people that Takeshi was not, in fact, dead.

Takeshi knew that was Shiro’s work and he reached for his phone to send him a quick ‘thank you’.

After that the TV returned to normal, but information kept on sliding across the bottom of the screen. Iwao turned the TV off and they enjoyed the silence.

“You’ve got more alcohol, don’t you?” James asked rhetorically and stood up from the bed, quickly making his way to the kitchen.

“Everybody’s okay?” Takeshi asked quietly, not surprised when they looked at him blankly. He put his cheek on top of Koji’s head. What a draining day.

“Are you?” Isao touched his back.

Takeshi shrugged. James and Akira came back with a few glasses and a bottle of vodka, and sat in the middle. “Wine is not going to be enough this time.”

Most of them downed the drink.

“You need to take that fucking chemo,” Iwao spoke up suddenly.

“I’ve already told you…” Takeshi rolled his eyes, annoyed.

“I don’t give a fuck what you think or feel or whatever.” Iwao leaned in, surprising them. “I am not watching this shit again. Having you die is one thing, having you die knowing you could have been saved? Don’t be a fucking idiot. You need to try everything, you can’t give up already.”

“I am not giving up,” Takeshi whispered.

“Yes you fucking are,” Iwao snapped. “Oh I need to do this and that before healing myself!” he mocked him. “If you believed in it, you would not be preparing everything for your death!”

“It’s not about belief, I need to be prepared for it not working out.” Takeshi tried to remain calm, but it was not easy with nobody taking his side.

“The more time you take, the less of a chance for the chemo to work. It’s like you’re trying to ensure your death.” Iwao said angrily.

Takeshi looked away. Fuck the gang for making them all panic.

“The Olympics are so soon.” Sousuke said suddenly, arms around Sayomi who now slept soundly. “But enough time to sort most important issues out. You will watch me swim, and hopefully win,” he chuckled, but Takeshi saw that his eyes were wet. “And then you’re going to the hospital. Deal?” He outstretched his hand towards Takeshi who starred.

Nobody said anything.

“Dad?” He asked again.

Sousuke knew that some of them probably found his behaviour weird or maybe even inappropriate. But his father and him were always doing the same thing when things were getting too much - they were shutting off.

He wanted to curl up in his room and cry about what happened. The boy he loved with all his heart betrayed his whole family. To poison his father who always warned about him, to want to run away with their daughter to the gang, knowing what the gang was doing to children, and now that Sousuke was aware what they’ve done to Koji, the thought of his daughter in their arms made him feel sick. His father was dying because of Rin. Suffering. And Rin had the nerve to even wonder why he was not dying faster. Then he shot him, too. And now the gang showed him what was going to happen when the world would end; The media showing him his father’s photo in black and white with the day of his birth and death. The funeral, seeing him dead in a casket, needing to watch him, so young, being laid to the ground. It terrified him and if not Sayomi, he would have freaked out.

Sousuke’s heart broke today, but hatred for Rin and the gang filled it very quickly. And that was probably keeping him sane. For now.

He tried not to think about the fact that his father wanted to force everybody to pretend Rin had done no harm for his sake. Did he seriously think he would ever choose to know nothing and have a happy life with Rin? What did he do to have his father consider that?

Did he think he would choose Rin over him, knowing he caused his death?

It made him feel cold. But he could not focus on it now because he was going to go mad. He had to save his father, then think.

He was his father’s son. He wanted to quit the chemo before he tried it himself. It was the fear of more pain. It was the fear of how others would feel. It was the fear of everything crashing and not being able to do anything about it.

His dad would always find more important things to do than trying to save his own life. His self-esteem was a lot worse than Sousuke’s.

But if they had an agreement, a plan, and help…

Takeshi breathed out slowly. And then lifted his hand to shake his son’s. “Deal.”

Sousuke smiled. Now he had to win.

**

“You’re okay?” Sousuke asked as they all put their heads to the pillow again, hoping they would finally be able to sleep. Takeshi winced and he looked sicker than a few hours ago.

“I’m fine…” Takeshi rubbed his eyes, Koji asleep between him and Isao, snoring quietly making them chuckle to each other as they pulled the blanket up to his chest. So relaxed and trusting, their hearts stopped hurting.

“Get some sleep.” Isao bent over the kid and kissed Takeshi on the lips. “You need it.”

Takeshi did not comment about the fact that Isao said nothing about what happened. He saw his face, it was enough. All of their faces frightened him more than anything.

He smiled when he felt his son turning on his side and putting his head close to his. Takeshi lifted his hand and stroked his cheek. He missed him. And the relief, Sousuke not hating him, made him feel so light.

**

Koji yawned and opened his eyes, dread running through his body. Another day. He wondered what was going to happen, hoped his uncle was in a good mood, maybe he would let him rest today, maybe he would not need to…

Wait.

Koji looked to his left. Takeshi was sleeping right by him, face pale but cheeks pink, his son’s arm around his chest. Koji looked to his right, Isao was sleeping, a worried crease on his forehead. His arm was thrown over Koji’s middle, to reach Takeshi and keep a hold of his hand.

He breathed out, memories of yesterday coming back. And he turned on his side, hand reaching Takeshi’s cheek. Was he real? This was not a dream?

“Hey, kiddo.” Takeshi whispered, lifting his hand to touch his.

“Hey.” Koji smiled. He was real.

“Get some more sleep,” Takeshi said quietly. “It’s still early.”

“Do you want breakfast?” Koji asked. “I can make you breakfast.”

“No.” Takeshi smiled again. “Sleep. We will make breakfast together. Later.”

Koji fell asleep with his hand on his cheek.

**

“Need any help?” Satoru asked his wife, walking in the kitchen quietly. Rest of the men were still asleep, only her and little Sayomi wide awake. The girl waved to him from where she was sitting on the top surface.

“You can prepare the eggs.”

“Mariko.” He spoke her name, unusual on his tongue. It’s been a while since they talked.

“No, no.” She turned for a brief second and lifted her hand. “We’re not talking.”

He nodded his head, expecting nothing else. Satoru grabbed the bowl and eggs she handed him and started cracking them open. Sayomi looked inside his bowl, interested, and before he could stop her, put her whole hand in, trying to catch the yolk.

“Ew.” She showed her hands to Satoru, disgusted, as if he made her do it.

Satoru shook his head and grabbed her to help her clean it off in the sink. “Don’t touch it.” He advised her as he put her back by the bowl. She grinned.

They carried on in silence, Satoru expecting the guys to wake up, but they were sound asleep. There was no point in waking them up - he checked what he could and knew that the enemy gang had done nothing but ensured to have their hearts beat a little faster.

Satoru saw the good in it, the men realising they need to move their asses and do something apart from waiting for Nalin to find the cure on his own, and Takeshi himself being slapped in the face with reality he was slowly allowing to happen.

“You know, I’ve spent months trying to figure out what could have made you do the horrifying things to Takeshi. Not to excuse you, just to know. And I just could not, no matter how hard I tried.”

Satoru smiled hearing her speaking to him. He knew she would not lose the opportunity.

“You were never that good at reading me.” he commented.

She sighed. Of course he would not give her an answer. He never did.

“Why did he let you become his bodyguard?” Mariko asked. “Because he cares so little about himself and so much about others, or what you’ve told him was really good enough?”

“Both.” Satoru grabbed Sayomi and took her to the living room, putting her between Takeshi and Sousuke, knowing she would do the job for him.

“DADA!”

Everybody woke up.

**

Takeshi did not remember the last time he ate breakfast with his whole family. Had they ever?

With the coffee table back in the place, they put breakfast on it like a small buffet, plates on top of knees. It wasn’t most comfortable, but nobody wanted to go downstairs and eat at the huge table. Takeshi was pretty sure they did not want to leave their comfortable clothes and the safe house either.

They ate chatting as if nothing happened the previous night, Sayomi using her childish charm to have Koji play with her. The boy seemed unsure, but when she gave him her favourite crayons, he sat with her on the floor and began drawing.

Takeshi smiled at them, arm around his stomach. He breathed out a little when Nanase and Haru said their goodbyes and left, hopefully safe. While he trusted Nanase and had nothing to fear in his own home, he wasn’t family, and Takeshi tried to keep strong when he really wanted to just lie down. The morning wasn’t easy either, waking up in front of everybody pretending he had any strength, waiting for Nalin to secretly give him a shot.

“Sorry for yesterday.” Iwao sat by him, chatter in the room as people stood up to help cleaning up, making calls, talk. “I should not have snapped at you. In front of everyone.”

“No, you should not.” Takeshi put his cheek on his shoulder. “Dickhead.”

Iwao kissed the top of his head. “How are you feeling?”

“Had better days,” Takeshi murmured.

“You must be tired of the pain,” Iwao said quietly.

“I don’t really remember how it was before.” Takeshi bit the inside of his cheek.

“When we were on the yacht?”

“I was recovering from being shot by Nanase.”

Iwao chuckled and threw his arm around him. “They say there’s always a rainbow after the rain.”

“I’ve drowned in that rain,” Takeshi closed his eyes.

“Don’t say that.” He tightened his hand. “We will find the rainbow.”

Nobu walked over and sat on the coffee table, opposite to them. “I’ve called the guard to pick Rin up.” He leaned in, so only they would hear.

Takeshi breathed out slowly and looked over to Sayomi, still drawing with Koji. They were making masterpieces by this point. “We need to move her.”

“Preferably Koji, too, the less people know he is here, the better.” Iwao patted his fingers on his shoulder.

Takeshi and Nobu nodded. “Sousuke?” Nobu asked.

“I don’t know.” Takeshi rubbed his eyes. “Sousuke.” He called for him, standing in the kitchen by Isao’s mother. “Come here for a moment.”

The boy sat by Nobu, clearly expecting what he was going to hear.

“The guard will be here soon,” Takeshi explained. “To take Rin.”

“Right,” Sousuke said quietly. A heart skipped a beat.

“I’d like you to grab Sayomi and Koji and go upstairs, okay?” Takeshi asked.

Sousuke nodded, no question, and they’ve heard the sound of a car approaching. Sousuke paled.

“Go.” Takeshi hurried him up.

He did as told, Koji and Sayomi slightly confused but followed him nevertheless.

**

Takeshi could swear there were a few grey hairs on Rin’s head as Nobu and Iwao brought him upstairs. If he expected the boy to be crying and shaking, he was wrong. There was an insanity in his eyes and he looked straight into his, mouth taped together.

Takeshi stood by the door, two guards with their faces covered, on each side of him.

“He won’t stick his nose out of the cell, boss.” The guard ensured. 

For a moment Takeshi thought that even he would not try to cross them; they looked like they could crush him with a finger. “I trust you.” Takeshi cocked his head, eyes on Rin. “You do not have to worry about the gang, they do not need him anymore.” He smirked seeing him shaking his head. Did he genuinely believe he was anything but a tool? “But he’s a desperate one.” Takeshi caught his jaw when Rin tried to shake his men off, swearing visibly. “I’d love to talk, but you’re not going to upset my son and granddaughter with your screams. Do not worry, though, we will have plenty of time during your trial before I kill you myself.” Finally a fear he was waiting for, Rin suddenly stopping moving. Takeshi let go off his face and added quietly; “To shoot me in front of my son who was the only reason you were alive… I’ve always knew you were a fool, but you’ve managed to surprise me.” He told the men to take him, the second Rin started trashing around. They grabbed him without a word and left.

“So sexy how you can turn into a murderous machine when you feel like it.” James winked to him from the kitchen, leaning over the countertop.

“You’re so gay.” Takeshi walked up to him and ruffled his hair, James whining loudly.

“Always for you.” He slapped him on the ass as he walked past to grab himself a glass of water. “You okay, boo?” James grinned when he noticed Isao’s face.

“Totally.”

Takeshi chuckled and walked up to him to give him a kiss on the lips and sit by on the sofa.

“While they are still upstairs.” He called the men over to sit down. “We need to talk about what’s next.”

**

Sousuke walked away from the door where he was listening to Takeshi talking. He sat on Takeshi’s bed and watched the boys drawing sat on the carpet.

Rin was going to die.

Knowing that the whole gang was aware for months, itching to kill Rin themselves, Takeshi stopping them while being the one suffering…

“You’re okay?”

Sousuke looked up, Koji starring at him. How old was he anyway?

“Sure.” Sousuke tried to smile. His father was dying on his eyes for months and he was fighting with him about Rin who hurt him and now was going to get killed.

Why did Rin do all of this? They had it all.

“You’re sad about Rin?” Koji asked, head cocked.

“Yes…”

“Don’t be sad about Rin,” Koji shrugged, continuing to draw. “He hurt Takeshi.”

“I would never forgive him that,” Sousuke wasn’t sure why he was talking with Koji about it. Maybe he just had to talk. “I just do not understand why he did it.” Was it wrong to try to understand?

“Some people just suck.” Koji did not lift his head. His uncle sucked. And his people.

“Did you talk with him when he was there?”

Koji shook his head. “I knew he poisoned Takeshi, so I did not like him.”

Sousuke sighed. “How was he behaving?”

He seemed to be thinking and then his eyes brightened. “Satoru used this one word once…” He touched his cheek. “Spineless?”

“Right.” Sousuke breathed out. Spineless…

Koji shrugged. “He sat and listened. Uncle told him that Takeshi was going to die soon and without him Yakuza will come to an end, so once it’s over we will rule and he’s lucky to be on our side.”

Sousuke focused for a moment on how much the gang seemed to fear Takeshi. While it was good, that was the reason they were directly attacking him instead of starting from the bottom, but it made sense considering they thought he’d deal with anything. End of Yakuza without his father? He sometimes did not comprehend how important his father was.

“Do you know anything about the poison?” Sousuke asked quietly.

“They started creating it awhile ago, but wanted someone to sell information about Takeshi to ensure they will hit where it will hurt the most.” Koji handed the yellow crayon to Sayomi. “They tried with the whole gang, but got nothing out of them.”

“So they went to Rin.” And he sold them out.

“They knew he was pregnant with your kid, so Takeshi’s grandkid.” Koji said. “They’ve threatened him that if he won’t work for them, they will hurt everybody. It did not work much, so they took Haru. People know he left you for him before.”

“We were just kids.” Sousuke understood, but they were so young then, why did it matter now? Did Rin really care more about Haru than all of them? His family?

“Gangs talk.” Koji scratched his arm. “The gossip was that Rin is a traitor and that Takeshi is a fool for letting him in. That he lost his touch.”

“He did not want to let him in, he did it for me.”

“They know that, too.” Koji added.

Sousuke winced. “What did Rin tell them?”

“Everything.” Koji returned to drawing when Sayomi slapped his knee for not doing it. “That Satoru hates him for being with Isao and tortured him. That’s why they recruited him. That Isao is Takeshi’s weakness. That’s why they sent the trucks and paralysed him. Obviously they knew that he loves you, but your dad ensured you have so many bodyguards constantly watching, that they could not go through. That Yakuza cares about family, so they burned their homes down, hoping at least one family would be there. He said that Isao and Takeshi want to get married and have children, too, so the poison was meant to stop him from having babies.”

Sousuke listened in silence, gasp escaping his mouth at the end.

No.

They’ve heard knocking and Takeshi walked in, a smile on his face. “Are you okay, kids?”

Sousuke could not look in his face, keeping his eyes on the floor. Rin would not. God, he could not. He could remember his father’s face when he was talking about losing the baby.

“Yes.” Koji answered when Sousuke did not.

Takeshi kneeled on the floor by them unsurely. “Sou?”

He put his face in his hands. “I am so sorry.” Oh. God. Oh God.

“About what?” Takeshi asked surprised.

Sousuke looked up finally, feeling his throat tightening. He just had to say it. There was no way around it. “Koji just said… Rin…” his voice shook. “One of the things Rin told them was that you and Isao wanted children…”

“Right…” Takeshi said unsurely. Where was this going?

“So, they… That poison was meant to stop you from having them.” Seeing his father’s face changing was the worst. Eyes becoming glassy with realisation, tears Takeshi tried to stop, but one escaped and he quickly wiped it away and shook his head, a lift of his shoulders as if it did not matter. It did. It clearly hurt him in a very sensitive place and he licked his lips and breathed in shakily, turning his head away.

“I am so sorry, dad,” Sousuke whispered. Takeshi warned him. He told him to not go after Rin. And Sousuke brought him home and Takeshi paid for it. Isao paid for it. His family paid for it.

Koji watched upset and wrapped his arms around Takeshi’s middle and felt him putting his cheek on top of his head. “It’s okay,” Takeshi said quietly. Don’t cry, you fool, he thought to himself, chest tightening. Not in front of them.

Sousuke looked to his left when the door opened. Satoru peaked in, expression unreadable as always.

“That Shiro of yours is calling.” He leaned on the door frame as Takeshi turned his head towards him, making his eyebrows just slightly furrow.

Takeshi breathed out slowly and nodded, quick kiss on top of Koji’s head and he lifted himself painfully, touched Sousuke’s cheek and left after Satoru.

Takeshi closed the door and took the phone from Satoru.

“Hello?”

“Hey, you. Just a quick one,” he heard Shiro’s voice. “I’ve sorted everything out, is there anything else you need at the moment?”

Takeshi pressed his fingers to his eyes. “No… No, I do not think so. Thank you, Shiro.” He felt sick. “Sorry for fucking up your holiday.”

“It was pretty disgusting of you to die on TV at that time, not gonna lie.”

Takeshi chuckled. “Bye, dickhead.”

“Bye, shithead.”

He smiled as they ended the call and he hid the phone in his back pocket.

“What’s wrong?” Satoru asked, but Takeshi shook his head and began walking towards the stairs. “Koji will tell me if you won’t.” Takeshi stopped, grabbing the balustrade.

He turned his head a little. “The gang gave you and my dad a little present.”

“What?” Satoru asked confused.

“That poison ensured I would not be able to ever have children,” Takeshi explained, voice dead. “There’s never going to be a little half Shigino and half Yamazaki,” he laughed to himself and it sounded painfully desperate, Satoru noticing tears in his eyes. “I don’t even know why I care, I am going to die before I’d have a chance anyway.” He shrugged and made his way downstairs, quickly wiping his tears away. Takeshi felt horrible. It should not matter. It really should not. They were never meant to have children anyway, first Katsu trying to stop him, then he had to kill his own child to save his pointless life, his chances were small anyway, and now the fucking poison because Rin was so desperate to tell it all he even started guessing what they could wish for. He did not know why he was taking it out on Satoru, he walked past the men who asked him what’s going on and walked out through the front door, needing the fresh air.

It hit him in the face and he breathed in, forgetting about the jacket, about everything, he just needed air and the rain soaked him to the bone as he walked down the hill quickly ignoring the security all over the place, he continued through the quiet street with trees all around him.

God it stung. He knew what Rin did to him for months, pushing it away from his mind and focusing on what he thought was right, Rin betrayed him but he believed he loved Sousuke and at least was loyal to him, he excused a lot of things he did with stupidity, deep inside he was glad he shot him in front of Sousuke because he did not need to lie and could get justice, but…

It was so stupid, wasn’t, he thought, this fact that they took ability off him when he was dying anyway so why did it matter, really?

But it did to him, and forcing himself to be rational did not work anymore.

Fuck Rin and the gang. Fuck them for ruining his life. When it finally began working, Isao asking him to marry him, buying the land, they could marry, have children, build their new house specially for them, not just another property, watch Sousuke win Olympics and growing up, his beautiful granddaughter, too, they could have it all.

It was too much. Months of forcing himself to not care, not cry, keep a straight face, when he wanted to cry out of anger and pain, when Isao was paralysed, when Naoko lost his whole family and his men their homes, all because of him, when Satoru and him had to become a team, but he knew deep inside Satoru hated him, and when he thought there will be no more, that he knew of everything, the final hit came…

His chest tightened and he began crying, knees buckling underneath him. He shook when he felt arms around him, thinking he threw himself in arms of the gang and hoped they would kill him quickly, but it was Satoru and he broke and let him hold him and Takeshi cried for all the months it hurt but he could not show it. It was finally too much.

Satoru rested his chin on top of his head, the rain soaking them to the bone as they sat under one of the many trees. He threw his jacket over Takeshi who was shivering like mad, sobs shaking his body, face hidden in his chest. When he was torturing him, he did not make a noise. After all those months of silencing himself the final hit finally broke him and he was crying for all of them.

It sounded like his soul was being torn apart.

**

“Calm down, your father is with him.” Nobu said to Isao, knuckles white from how tightly he was holding them on the wheels, the frustration that he could not run after him visible in all of him.

“Sousuke!” Isao did not listen, he shouted. It had to be Sousuke or if his father, then maybe they heard.

He and Koji with Sayomi quickly walked downstairs.

“What happened? Why was Takeshi upset?” Isao asked, ignoring the men telling him to relax.

“I am sorry,” Koji said, taking a step back. “I should not have said anything…”

“No, Koji…” Sousuke put his hand on top of his shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”

“Talk!”

“Isao,” Nobu snapped, seeing the boy quickly becoming scared.

Sousuke knew he had to repeat what he told his father. “Rin told the gang that you are Takeshi are trying for kids,” he explained. “So they made sure that the poison won’t let him.” It was easier to tell it to them, in a way.

They starred in silence. Iwao sat back slowly, bending his fingers. “Thank God that whore is not here or I would tear him apart myself, I swear…”

“Iwao,” Nobu hissed. Not here!

“What?” He snapped. “You still want to protect him? Or him?” He pointed at Sousuke, standing up. “I am sorry, kid,” he obviously was not, “but it is his fucking fault, okay? And for months I covered him because Takeshi wanted us to, but for fuck’s sake he is the reason your father is dying right now and breaking down because he is getting stabbed in the back over and over again…”

“Iwao!” Nobu tried to stop him, voice louder. “Get a grip!” Sayomi was listening to them, for God’s sake.

“Get a grip?” He growled. “Get a grip?! How many times can you watch Takeshi biting his teeth together to not scream when he is bleeding out here or at the hospital? When that fucking poison is burning him from the inside? When Nalin needs to cut him open over and over without meds? Now he found out that apart from fucking dying in agony, he lost the chance to have a child which he was obsessing over since he lost the first one?!” He looked at Sousuke, starring with tears running down his cheeks. “And you know whose behind all of it? Your fucking boyfriend that Takeshi never wanted here in the first place but you insisted!” The anger was burning his body.

“Enough.”

They all jumped when they’ve heard Takeshi’s voice. Satoru and he looked like someone dropped a few buckets of water over their heads, and Takeshi’s eyes were clearly red from crying.

“Nobody in this room is guilty.” He sounded hoarse. “Sousuke came to me the moment he lost trust in Rin. Then he was kept in the dark. You cannot blame him for what happened.” He shivered. “We’ve all made mistakes that we’ve acknowledged and apologised for. Every single one of us has a clean card. We need to stand together because there will be more shit thrown under our legs. The gang would love us to split. Don’t give them the satisfaction.” Seeing them nodding, he smiled and moved to take his shoes off and hang Satoru’s jacket. “I am going to take a bath. Get some take away for dinner.”

They’ve watched him go upstairs, not daring to say a word.

“Is he okay?” Isao asked his father, fingers twitching.

“Cried his heart out, it made him feel better.”

Isao cringed.

“Maybe they did not even do it, it’s so specific…” Nobu sat down by Iwao.

“If he will want to, I will be able to check.” Nalin stayed behind the countertop in the kitchen. “But for now I think we should let him rest and not talk about it.”

Satoru nodded his head and went upstairs, most likely to change, while Sousuke took Sayomi and grabbed a blanket to put on the carpet, sat her on it and brought her toys. Fluff quickly found his favourite petter and Koji focused on him.

“Okay,” Iwao sighed. What a madhouse. “Food time.”

**

“At the moment Isao and me sleep downstairs.” Takeshi explained to Koji as they sat in the living room, food on the coffee table, nobody caring about manners. Takeshi tried to not get sick from it. “But once we move back up, your room will be right by ours.”

“So I will have my own room?” He asked surprised.

“Yes.” Takeshi smiled. The crying, Satoru’s arms, rain, hot bath and silence done wonders. “It’s very basic now and not too big, but we will buy anything you would need.”

“I don’t need anything.” Koji looked at him like at a picture.

“Of course you do.” Takeshi put his arm around him. “You can choose the colour of the walls, and carpet, you can change your bed, maybe we will get some nice shelves… You need to make it Koji’s.”

He smiled shyly and hugged him tightly. “Thank you. You’re the best.”

Takeshi put his cheek on top of his head. Life could always be worse. He had so much to be thankful for.

“Eat something,” Isao said quietly to him, hand on his back.

“I am not hungry.” The last thing he wanted now was a fattening pizza. His looks were the last thing he could control. Sort of. The poison made him lose, but it did not make him gain so he could stop that.

Isao did not want to push him today, knowing he was sensitive, but he worried. Of course he did. And not being able to walk was a way bigger problem than he initially thought.

“Na-a.” Nalin spoke up. “You’re on very strong medication. You need to eat or your stomach will hurt or worse.”

Takeshi shrugged.

“You don’t have to eat this.” Isao pointed at the pizza. “We can order or cook something you’d like.”

“I do not want to eat.” His stomach was still a knot. “It will make me sick.” Isao knew not to push him any more. He ignored Satoru’s confused look.

When they finished, Takeshi took Koji to his new room, and the boy looked at it in awe. It was simple in white with the window instead of a wall opposite to the door, letting them see the long garden behind the house. Koji walked inside and saw the low bed on the right with grey duvets, its back towards the wall, so he could see the garden when lying on it and looking to his right, and the flat TV when leaning against its back. A long wardrobe reaching the middle of the wall stood to the bed’s left.

He loved it.

“It’s not much,” Takeshi said. “We will add anything you need in time.”

They’ve heard a chuckle behind them and saw Satoru who leaned against the door frame behind Takeshi. “Not much,” he mocked him. “Typical Yamazaki.”

Takeshi rolled his eyes. “Not in the sense that it is cheap, just not very personalised.”

“Sure.” Satoru smiled.

“Says you, you’re not exactly poor,” Takeshi scoffed.

“Hey, I was raised in very basic environment. We did not have much.”

Takeshi turned and looked at him in genuine shock. “What?”

“There’s a difference between being part of luxury and just watching it.”

“Please do not tell me my father refused to pay you.” Oh, God, would he, really?! What was the excuse? That they were in a relationship? But Isao always seemed to have everything?

“Your father was the first man to pay his bodyguard, it did not happen before,” Satoru explained.

“I don’t understand why.” He never heard of that before. It was not even a question whether he should pay Isao, it was his job and people should get paid for their work, for God’s sake.

“It was a privilege to be a Yamazaki’s bodyguard back in the day and since a Shigino was sort of part of the luxury by standing in it, that was enough.” Satoru tried not to laugh seeing Takeshi’s disgust.

“How the fuck they paid for anything?”

“Worked additional jobs. Remember that Yamazaki’s were not Yakuza’s Bosses then, they did not need constant protection.”

“Right.” Takeshi still seemed insulted.

“This is more than basic for this kid, too.” He pointed at Koji. “He mostly lived in a ship in a tiny room and had nothing.”

Koji shrugged, a little smile on his face and he walked up to Takeshi to hug him tightly. He quickly stopped when he felt him wince. “Oh, sorry!” It reminded him of the shooting.

“It’s okay.” Takeshi wrapped his arm around him, this time Koji putting his hands a little higher. “Do you like it?”

“Yes.” He said happily. “It’s so pretty!”

“I am glad you like it.” Takeshi combed his hair behind the ear and touched his cheek. “We will get some clothes for you, is there anything specific you need that you can think of now?”

He shook his head.

“Koji wanted to learn to read and write,” Satoru said, the boy looking at him with blushed cheeks. It was clearly on his mind, but he did not want to ask. “Should we get some books for him?”

Takeshi gaped at him in shock and one look from Satoru stopped him from questioning. “Of course.” He smiled to Koji who grinned. “I think I know a perfect person to help you with that, too.”

“Who?” He asked curiously.

“Isao.” Takeshi said. “He’s a really good teacher and loves reading. I will talk with him, but I am sure he will agree to help.”

The happiness on Koji’s face brightened even his day.


	84. Who's the Puppet Master?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know what’s funnier?” Takeshi put his cheek on the pillow to face him. “I fooled you first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A looong chapter since I've made you wait so long :)
> 
> Enjoy!

“He can’t read or write?” Takeshi whispered to Satoru as Koji ran downstairs, the two of them slowly following.

“They did not want him to think either, but that did not really work. He’s a smart kid considering how everybody tried to stop him from it.”

“That’s horrible,” Takeshi stopped before the stairs.

“I think we established that already.” Satoru turned to face him.

“I know, I just…” Takeshi rubbed his temple. “I’ve seen many fucked up things, but…”

“Stopping him from basic education is a small problem compared to what else he did to him.”

**

Isao blinked his eyes open, something waking him up. But it was quiet in the room, the night early. He looked at Takeshi sleeping on his right, curled up with his left cheek on the pillow. Isao was glad to see his small, peaceful face. This day was draining and at night, after he made sure Koji was sleeping soundlessly in his new bed, Fluff right by him making him feel safe, Takeshi took a quick shower, threw Isao’s big shirt over himself and dropped on the bed, asleep within seconds.

They needed to talk. But not tonight.

Isao scratched his leg, thigh itching uncomfortably.

And then he stopped.

“Oh, my God,” he whispered, sitting up.

His hand shook when he unsurely touched his legs. He felt them. He fucking felt them. This was what woke him up. Isao could not really move them, they felt stiff, but, God, he could feel them.

HE COULD FUCKING FEEL THEM.

“Ta…” He turned to speak to Takeshi and quickly stopped. Isao could not wake him up when he finally slept peacefully. Come on, he thought to himself. It can wait.

He lied down, their noses nearly touching. Maybe if he would stare it would do the job yet not be his fault. He chuckled to himself, and Takeshi furrowed his eyebrows in his sleep. Isao kissed his forehead.

“That did not help,” he murmured to himself, Takeshi relaxing. He touched his nose with his this time, Takeshi sighing and kissing him on the lips in his sleep. Isao made a face and blew cold air on his mouth, as delicately as possible.

“Isao,” Takeshi whined in his sleep.

“Oh, come on, you little shit, wake up.” He was horrible.

Takeshi opened one eye, slightly. He looked like an imp with the black hair trying to cover his face. “What.” He scratched his nose.

“I can feel my legs.” Isao grinned.

Silence.

“I can feel my legs.” Isao repeated and shook him a little by the arm. It seemed to help, a big smile showing on Takeshi’s face. And then he giggled. And laughed. And hugged him, a bunch of happiness in his arms that Isao hugged tightly, joining in laughter. “I love you. I love you so much.” Isao mumbled in his neck, not letting go.

Takeshi lifted his head to kiss him on the jaw, hand touching his cheek. A heavy weight dropped off his heart. Maybe there was a rainbow after the rain.

“Everything is going to be okay.” Isao felt the sudden wave of positiveness. “Next is your hand. And then we will get rid of the fucking poison. So you have to focus on getting healthy and I will focus on getting those legs to work properly, and then we need to get that wedding sorted, finally, I mean…”

“Isao.” Takeshi put his fingers over his lips, head on his shoulder. “Shush you.” He let go and wrapped his arm around Isao’s chest. “Let’s be happy about this first.”

Isao put his cheek on top of his head, hand that slipped under Takeshi’s shirt feeling the bandage around his middle. Rin. And they needed to kill Rin.

Takeshi snorted. “Stop touching yourself.”

“Shut up,” Isao laughed. He just had to ensure it wasn’t for a moment.

“Since you woke me up,” Takeshi sighed as if it troubled him, “I will go and check on Koji.” He lifted himself slowly, trying not to wince. Isao’s hand was warm on his back.

“I knew you would say that.”

“I will be back in a second.” Takeshi stood up and gave him a quick kiss.

“Take your phone.”

“What for?”

“Because you won’t be. He will make you stay,” Isao said. “Text me everything is okay, I can’t rush after you. Yet.” He smirked.

“Okay.” Takeshi chuckled and took it, a quick wink before he left. And as he closed the door after himself and leaned against it, he smiled to himself.

Bless the Magician.

Bless him so fucking much.

Takeshi made his way upstairs, the house silent at this time of the day. It reminded him of old days, nobody here, even Sousuke for who he bought this house mostly away. Just a building once, not even a picture on the wall, now full of life. As discreet as possible he put his ear against the door to Koji’s bedroom to hear whether he was asleep. There were whispers and he softly opened the door, not wanting to startle him.

Koji was sitting on his bed and petting Fluff. He looked up, a little scared, and Fluff sat up quickly yet seeing Takeshi woofed happily and ran to greet him. Takeshi grinned and patted him on the head and once the dog let him, walked up to Koji.

“Why are you not sleeping?” He asked quietly, sitting on the side, Koji wrapped in the blankets. His eyes finally got used to the darkness.

“I was.” Koji bent his fingers. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” Takeshi said quietly. “Are you having nightmares? Or is it the new place?”

“I don’t know.” Koji shrugged, smiling when Fluff laid his head in his lap.

“Koji…” Takeshi needed to know to be able to help.

“I am just worrying, I think…” Koji scratched his arm, something Takeshi noticed he was doing whenever nervous. “I don’t know.”

“You’re safe here.” Takeshi smiled to him, reaching slowly to touch his cheek, unsure whether it was okay. “I cannot imagine how hard it is for you. Just remember there is no rush, no expectations, this is about you and you have all the time in the world .” He poked his nose, Koji chuckling. “And if you need anything, you only have to ask. Even if it is just to talk.”

“I don’t want to be a burden,” Koji played with his sleeve. “You’re sick and hurt because of my uncle, you have your family to take care of…”

“You’re part of the family now.”

Koji gasped, shock clear on his face but Takeshi’s smile reassuring. Takeshi watched him trying to not cry but tears followed and he opened his arms, the boy reaching for him desperately.

He was not sure how long he held him, cheek on top of his head, rocking him softly until Koji fell asleep. He laid him down and pulled the covers up his chin, telling Fluff to stay, the dog waggling his tail happily.

Takeshi made his way downstairs to the kitchen and reached for a glass to pour some water in it. He worried about this kid. How could he help him? He could not erase his mind, the touch on his skin. It made him sick to think about what he had to go through. How could he make it better?

“Why you’re not sleeping?”

Takeshi jumped out of his skin, Satoru’s voice so unexpected. And his mind so suddenly flashed back to the evening when the man showed up behind him, knocking him out and grabbing, saying the worst words to him, hands so harsh on his throat…

“Takeshi? Are you okay?” Satoru saw the glass falling to the sink as Takeshi pressed his hand to his heart, breathing unsteady. He grabbed him before he could fall, the boy clearly panicking. “Sit down, come on.” Satoru pulled him down and kneeled opposite to Takeshi, hands on his shoulders. “Breathe.” He held him steady.

Takeshi was not sure how he found himself in this position, did he black out for a second? His heart hurt, but it wasn’t any close to the feeling when he had a heart attack. His lungs hurt more than his heart.

Slowly his mind cleared and he nearly laughed at the irony of the world. Today those arms held him together, a few months ago the same arms held him against the wall, hands wrapped around his neck.

Satoru wanted him dead.

“Sorry,” Takeshi said quietly, drained.

“What happened?”

It was easier when Satoru did not care to even ask.

“Stupid brain,” Takeshi murmured more to himself than him, trying to pull himself up on his legs. Satoru helped, keeping him steady.

“Was it me?”

“Huh?” Takeshi faced him again, slightly lightheaded.

“It wasn’t the surprise, it was me, wasn’t?” A simple question.

“It’s because I’m tired.” Takeshi shrugged. There was not really much time to think about it, but apart from when he lost his mind for a moment in the, what he called, other world, he was surprisingly calm whenever Satoru was close. He did fear himself panicking, but he did not, so he hoped his brain did not realise it should now.

Satoru did not seem convinced. He clearly knew exactly where Takeshi’s mind went.

“Come on.” Satoru pulled him towards Isao’s and Takeshi’s bedroom. His son’s surprise would have made him laugh if not the tiredness, and he pushed Takeshi in Isao’s arms.

“Why are you not asleep?” Isao asked, Takeshi moving towards the wall to not sit on his legs.

“A good bodyguard never sleeps.” Satoru said as seriously as possible, snorting when Isao rolled his eyes. “Stop letting this one wander around, he’s going to get himself killed one day.” He made his way out.

“Oh, come on, we’re home.” Isao was not sure if that comment was just a joke or not.

Satoru turned his head. “I’ve nearly killed him at his home once.” And he left.

Takeshi tried to laugh but it came out weak. Isao starred where his father just stood hoping his eyes could kill.

“I am sorry for him.” Isao put his hand on his leg. Jesus.

“No, I think he was just…” Takeshi shrugged. Well he did not know. Why was Satoru awake? Why seemingly concerned that he was making him uneasy, scaring even, then making such comments? Was he proving a point? Was that bitterness? Did he regret it and it was bothering him? Hell knew.

“My father being a jerk?” Isao pulled him into his arms. “I will kick his ass once I can use my legs again.”

“I think we need to give him a break.” Takeshi touched his chest.

Isao cocked his head. “Really?”

“He saved my life, Isao.” Takeshi got comfortable in his arms and closed his eyes.

“Which you nearly lost because of him.”

“Not that day.”

“You wanted to do it because of him nearly murdering you. Twice.” He could not use the word ‘suicide’.

“You can’t hold onto what happened,” Takeshi said quietly.

“Did he even apologise to you?”

He smiled. “We talked for so long. He never excused himself. He jumped off a cliff after me. He protected me since you told him to.”

“It does not erase the fact that he tortured you.”

Isao did not like to say that he was in any way similar to his father, but Takeshi could recognise this stubbornness only in his father. “No, but I think that memory bothers him more than us.”

“Well, of course, it never bothers you when someone hurts you.”

Takeshi kneed him in his leg, earning a whine. Good. “Rin bothers me.”

“Only because Sousuke found out.”

“No.” Takeshi yawned, running on last resources of strength. “Because he really wanted me dead and did not care how much others would get hurt either.”

Isao nodded, the rain making music outside their bedroom. “I just… I just hope…” Isao stroked his back. “That in his mind he was doing it for Sousuke and Sayomi at least.” He hated Rin so much that the only thought keeping him from finding a way how to make his way to the prison and snapping his neck, was that maybe Rin really was doing it for his boyfriend and daughter. It was still stupid, wrong, sickening, and seeing Takeshi even just wince from the pain this piece of shit caused him, or cry as he found out more hurtful information, made Isao rage, but to accept that he hurt Takeshi so much, the whole family, just out of spite would not let him relax. And Takeshi needed him calm. He needed a pathetic excuse to keep himself sane.

“He thought it would work for him.” Takeshi murmured. “The boss falls, the gang crumbles, assholes win and Rin is already on the winning side, guarantying his family safety.”

“Or he could just tell us they threatened him and we would keep them all safe and nobody would get hurt.” Isao shook his head.

Takeshi sighed. “I thought he was stupid. But the more I find out I start to think he just wanted me dead.” He did not want to talk about what he found out today.

“Well.” Isao knew. He wrapped his arms tightly around him, lips pressed to the top of his head. “He’s the one who’s going to be dead soon.”

And me, Takeshi thought and closed his eyes, letting darkness take him.

**

“Where’s Takeshi?” Satoru asked seeing his son in the kitchen, grabbing himself breakfast. The house was slowly filling with chatter. Mariko was sat with Sayomi by the coffee table, trying to feed her, Sousuke busy looking through some documents, rest of them either on their way out or sitting themselves comfortable in the living room.

“Sleeping.” Isao made his way towards the living room. “Your lovely words ensured he could not fall asleep for a while.”

“Bullshit.” Satoru sat by his wife. “He could barely walk on his own after I nearly gave him a heart attack.”

“What?” Isao snapped.

“Did you know he’s having panic attacks?” Satoru asked curiously.

Sousuke and Mariko looked up.

“Thanks to you.” Isao spit out.

“So is he lying he is okay with me or he is but can’t help it?”

“Why won’t you ask him?”

“Because his favourite answer is ‘I’m fine’.” Satoru growled. He could read Katsu like his favourite book, why he could not do it with Takeshi? They were father and son, for fuck’s sake.

“It’s been a few weeks, you really think you’ve gained enough trust for him to talk about his feelings with you?” Mariko asked, shocked. “What planet are you from?”

Satoru shook his head. “I don’t care about his feelings, I care about him not fooling me. I need him to be honest to protect him.”

“You’ve answered your own question.” Mariko said. “You don’t care. And he knows that.”

Satoru gave them a frustrated look and stood up, ready to go outside, away from them. But Koji showed up on top of the stairs and he stopped. “You okay, kid?”

Koji walked downstairs in a rush. “Yes. I am sorry. I was not meant to sleep for so long.” Clearly afraid, he stood in front of him.

“Takeshi told you that you can.” Satoru tried to calm him down. “He’s still asleep himself. Get some breakfast, kid.” He pointed towards the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“Outside.” Seeing Koji’s questioning face, he added: “Just for a walk to get some fresh air.”

“Oh, okay.” He was clearly still suspicious, but Satoru left without another word.

“Sit down, darling, I will make you something.” Isao’s mother stood up and ruffled his hair as she walked past.

“I can help.” Koji offered.

“If you want to.” She smiled. “What would you like?”

**

“You still have not told them?” Takeshi asked in disbelief, not remembering the last time he felt so rested. It was quite late when he finally woke up and after a good, warm bath, made his way to the living room.

“No.” Isao grinned. “I’ve waited for you.”

“What’s going on?” Iwao asked. They were all sitting together, ready to eat dinner.

Isao smiled, hand on Takeshi’s thigh. “I can feel my legs again.” The sudden silence made him laugh. “Hey!”

“Are you serious?” Nobu asked.

“Yes!”

“Thank God.” Mariko put her hand on her heart. “That’s fantastic news, son.” She moved to embrace him, Isao happily returning it.

“Don’t think he had anything to do with this.” Satoru murmured and received a swat on the head from her.

Takeshi chuckled. Indeed.

“Well, we should go to the hospital after we eat.” Nalin said as Kin grabbed Isao in a headlock and ruffled his hair. They were all like little kids who got their Christmas presents early “Check what changed and sort out your therapy so next you can start walking.” His mouth formed into a smile seeing Isao’s eyes brightening. While they all knew how much he was hurt, he was doing a fantastic job hiding it. His happiness now said everything.

And it made sense why Takeshi slept so well for a change.

**

It was dark when Sousuke parked his car in the garage under the prison. Their prison. Yakuza did not always kill their enemies - they found it an easy way to go.

It was fascinating what gruesome secrets a city could hold. In the middle of it, just one of the many beautiful buildings, held enemies of Yakuza. You’d think they’d have a mysterious grey place far away where nobody could find them yet here they were.

Of course. They were Yakuza. They loved to touch the edge.

The walls and windows were soundproof, and nobody could see inside the prison. Luxurious on the outside, divided into two worlds on the inside. He took the lift of gold and mirrors up to the reception, prepared for anybody walking into the building - beautiful and rich, just what one would expect. Nothing resembling a prison.

The shiny and clean marble covered the floor, the wide reception was on the left, two gold lifts right in front of the entrance. A man stood by each, ensuring nobody went any further than they would like. There was no other way upstairs.

“Evening.” He said to the woman standing behind the computer, her eyes recognising him quickly. He’s been here before. She worked for Yakuza. They all knew who his father was.

“Mister Yamazaki.” She straightened up, head bent in respect. “How may I help?”

“I am here to see Rin Matsuoka.”

**

“Behave.” Takeshi kissed Isao on the lips when he got ready to go out with his friends. They were in the living room, waiting for Kin who was still choosing his outfit. Of course. The men wanted to celebrate the beginning of Isao’s therapy, but Takeshi had to attend a party on the same night. He suggested they’d go without him, and they agreed quickly. He tried not to take it personal, knowing it was more about the no-partners-so-we-can-talk-dirt, but he wondered whether they were getting rid of a problem for one night.

They wanted a fun night out, not a reminder of all of their issues. And he related to all of them.

Goodness, once upon a time nobody could imagine a party without him.

Why was he being bitter about this? He was the one who could not go. But he wondered whether they would had wanted for him to go in the first place.

“Oh, I am planning to get laid.” Isao joked cheekily and stopped seeing Takeshi’s face.

Takeshi put his hand on his cheek. “Don’t forgot who I am, boo. I will find out within twenty four hours if you even looked too long at anybody.”

Nobu chuckled when Takeshi straightened up and he walked over to drop his arm around his shoulders. “We’re just going for a few drinks, darling.” He tried not to laugh seeing Isao sitting quietly, clearly having forgotten either about Takeshi’s possessiveness or influence. Takeshi never needed to ask, it was as if the whole world wanted to tell him everything about them. Especially the juicy details.

“Sure.” Takeshi pouted his lips. Ah, the irony, was it not, he thought to himself. He always feared Isao cheating on him, as if he had the right to say a word considering what he had done himself. But since he cheated on Isao, no matter for what reason, he dreaded it happening to him even more. Because if a temptation was hard enough, why would Isao not budge? He could think of it as a payback. Didn’t he basically had the right to it? Didn’t Takeshi deserve it? Isao was a better human being than him, but…

Isao grabbed his hand and pulled him into his lap. “I will text you if I will actually manage to find someone hotter than you, trust me.” It would be a miracle.

Before Takeshi could answer, Kin quickly walked downstairs, making a disgusted noise. “God, you cheesy asshole. Your loyalty always disgusted me.”

Isao showed him his middle finger, other hand reaching underneath Takeshi’s shirt, stroking his thin back. Like he would ever look at anybody else.

“Says the one who gasps insulted when another woman suggests a fuck to him.” Iwao gulped down a shot. He always started before they reached the club, what else was he meant to do while they dressed for hours?

“My wife is perfect.” Kin shrugged. “I don’t have the need.”

“She’d also crush your balls.” Iwao added.

“Precisely.” Kin grinned.

“Okay, off you go.” Takeshi smiled and patted Isao’s cheek. “I will see you tomorrow.”

“Behave.” Isao kissed him on the lips.

“Now he’s rushing us out.” Nobu shook his head.

“I need to get ready.” Takeshi stood up.

“You better send me a picture.” Isao swatted him on the ass.

“I will think about it.” Takeshi answered cheekily.

Isao growled, but before he could complain Iwao grabbed him and pushed towards the door. “We’re off, dude.”

“Be careful,” Takeshi said quietly to Nobu when he kissed him on the cheek.

“Don’t worry about us.” Nobu smiled and after grabbing his jacket, left with the rest of the men.

“He’s not going to cheat on you.” Satoru said so suddenly it made Takeshi turn abruptly towards him. Satoru was sitting by the bar, sipping an orange juice. “We are disgustingly loyal. Unlike you.”

Takeshi felt the slap. “I am going to change, you might want to get some vodka with that.” He pointed at the juice.

“Sounds like it is going to be fun,” he murmured. Satoru never drank before he had to go out and protect Katsu and he did not plan to start with Takeshi.

**

Satoru growled out of boredom. How long one person could be getting dressed? He made his way upstairs where Takeshi’s bedroom was and furrowed his eyebrows not seeing him inside. But further there was another door and he heard some shuffling around and walked over there.

He did not expect the room to be a closet that looked like one of the luxurious places Katsu liked to shop at, and Satoru stopped suddenly. Takeshi was standing sideways to him, on his toes looking for something, and the long hair was least of the shock, because the black, sexy lingerie was encasing his body tattooed in dark paintings and Satoru froze.

And then Takeshi looked at him and Satoru turned with light speed. “Jesus. I am sorry.” He slapped his hand across his face. If Takeshi was going to freak the fuck out…

He nearly looked back when he heard his laugh. “Since you are already here, you can help me zip up.”

“Does it mean you put something on?” Satoru’s voice was weak.

Another chuckle. “Yeah.”

He turned unsurely. “Oh God. Not much.” Now Takeshi had a small black dress on, and really, maybe the material covered him up to his fingers, but it did not even reach his thigh enough to hide the top of the stockings. He finally looked at his face, and the way his eyebrow was lifted ironically was like a bucket of cold water over his head. Satoru furrowed his eyebrows and moved behind him to zip the dress up over his thin back, careful knowing he could break him with his hands. What kind of size he had to wear, it was beyond him.

He smoothed the dress on his shoulders, feeling slightly guilty. He should not have looked.

“It’s alright.” Takeshi smiled, brushing his hair with his fingers as he met Satoru’s eyes in the mirror. He did not blame the guy for looking.

“Where the hell are we going for you to look like this?” He asked as Takeshi pulled the dress down his hips, still not enough to cover the skin between stockings and dress.

“Like what?” Takeshi asked, moving towards the middle of the closet where jewellery was placed on a table covered with glass. “A whore?”

Satoru felt the slap. He told Takeshi himself what he thought of him, what else he expected him to think? “No.” He sighed. “Just. You know. Girly.”

“I never thought I will see you unable to form a sentence.” Takeshi nudged him to help him close the necklace from Satoru around his neck. 

“I’m just a man, alright,” Satoru murmured, too busy trying to fiddle with the tiny thing to focus on what he was saying. His fingers were way too rough for this, and yet it seemed an easier job before. “You put that kind of stuff on, my brain stops working.”

“I will take that as a compliment, you won’t ever say anything nicer to me.” He finally reached behind himself to hold onto one part of the necklace, letting Satoru use both of his hands to open the clasp and finally attach it.

“You do that.” Satoru seemed satisfied he finally managed. “Can we go?”

“I need shoes.” Takeshi sat on the leather sofa and started pulling the thigh high heels on his legs.

Satoru blinked. “I will wait downstairs.”

**

He did take a shot before Takeshi showed up. And he was glad for it.

“So where are we actually going?” All he heard was a party. He would prefer to know some details to prepare himself for what was coming. Being a Bodyguard really was not just about staying close.

Takeshi made his way to the kitchen and took pills with water. He needed enough to feel normal, but so he could take drugs during the party to not make people suspicious.

“The guy’s an ex boxer, actually.” He informed Satoru. “Now he’s running businesses. Well, people run them for him. It’s mostly so I can show up where everybody will be, people are starting to talk shit.”

“An ex boxer?” Satoru asked curiously. “What’s his name?”

“Raiden.” Takeshi pressed the needle to his arm vein and winced. Hearing no response he looked towards Satoru who stood there, starring at him. “What?”

“Have you done it on purpose?”

“What?” Takeshi asked shocked.

“I have not lost many fights in my life,” Satoru said, voice quiet. Katsu was the biggest fight he had ever lost. “But he was one of them.”

“Oh.” Takeshi scratched his neck. “Well, shit.”

“You really did not know?” Satoru asked suspiciously.

“No!” Takeshi walked closer and looked him over. “You need to change.”

“What?” What it had to do with anything?

“You look fine, just need a little bit of… polishing.” Takeshi smiled. And before Satoru could protest he pulled him upstairs.

**

“What is this about?” Satoru stood in the middle of the closet as Takeshi kneeled in front of yet another wardrobe and started searching through it. “I’m not going to wear a dress.”

Takeshi turned his head, disbelief on his face. “No offence, but you could not work one, anyway.” Damn hilarious image, though, he had to tell Isao. Takeshi finally grabbed the pants and jumper he was looking for and lifted himself up to take the white shirt off the hanger. “Change.” He threw them in Satoru’s arms.

“Why?”

Takeshi sighed. “You’re a man. What’s the first thing you do when you see someone?”

“Eh?”

“What was the first thing you did when you saw me?”

Satoru shrugged. “Checked you out.”

“Exactly. First impression is all about the basics. Mainly, the looks.”

“I hate that prick, why would I care how he perceives me?” Satoru scoffed. “He’s a well known boxer, rich as fuck, on top with all his businesses, and he fucking won with me. He has everything.”

“And yet you have something he desires the most now.” Takeshi patted Satoru’s chest.

“Which is?”

“Me.”

Satoru did not mean to snort and as expected Takeshi took it wrong, taking his hand away as if burned. Satoru grasped his shoulders quickly. “I did not mean it like that.”

“Look.” Takeshi brushed his hands off. “I know I am nothing to you, but to others I’m a Yakuza Boss and that means a lot. To him you have it better because you work for me.” He walked away and grabbed the jacket. He was already shivering, there was no way he could stand outside in just a dress. “Let’s go.”

**

“This is nice.” Iwao stretched his arms on the back of the sofa, rest of the men sitting around him.

The plan for tonight was easy; to drink, talk, and forget. It’s been a long time since they had a meet-up without any problems like shadows behind them. They chose a bar on the side of the town with booths that gave them some privacy. It was weird for Takeshi to not be here but the truth was that all of them, apart form Isao, knew it could do the men some good to stay apart for a longer moment.

The bar reminded them of the many pubs they saw in England and they enjoyed the coziness of the place and especially the bar in the middle with yellow lights above it, a different beer draught one after another placed around it.

“I am trying every single one tonight,” Kin announced.

“Are we getting some food, too?” Nobu asked.

“Fuck yes.” Kin grabbed the menu from the side of the table.

“But meals or some snacks?”

“Both!”

Iwao snorted. “Might as well, we won’t get drunk too early.” He noticed Isao checking his phone and completely ignoring them, so he stole it from his hand and threw in the middle of the table. “Give him a chance to miss you, alright?”

“I was just checking…” Isao tried to get it so Iwao slapped his hand away. “Oh, come on.”

“He’s with your father, his ass is safe, if anything bad happens we all gonna get a call.” Iwao pointed his finger at him. “You both need a break from each other. Let him have one and have one yourself.”

Nobu did not say anything, the loyal friend, but nodded to it unknowingly. Kin slapped Isao with a menu. “Food!”

“Alright!” Isao breathed out and took it from him. “I want a steak.”

“It’s been a long time since you went out, huh?” Kin asked. “Starters first!”

Iwao laughed. Kin did not change the topic till they ordered both food and drinks. Finally satisfied he began himself; “Takeshi seemed pretty excited.”

“He’s going to a party, of course he is excited.” Nobu sat more comfortably. “He should go to Underground if he wants to have fun, though, nothing good comes out of such parties.”

“He’s not going there just for fun, he wants info.” Iwao added and watched confused as Kin’s eyes brightened which soon turned out to be because of the waiter coming from behind Iwao’s back.

“Bless you, angel.” Kin helped her put the plates with food on the table.

“Sorry for him, he apparently hasn’t eaten in a year.” Nobu spoke to the woman.

“It’s fine,” she chuckled and left them.

“We should get Takeshi out soon, too,” Iwao said. “Like good old times.”

“I want to see him in some ridiculously short dress.” Kin mumbled, mouth full.

Isao cocked an eyebrow.

“Mate.” Kin lifted his shoulders. “You engage with a hot ass, you need to deal with consequences.”

“Aren’t you suppose to be straight?” Isao asked.

“My dick’s unsure sometimes.” Kin said seriously and started laughing as Isao bit his teeth together. “Oh, come on, I am joking.”

Isao smiled as he leaned slightly on the table. It was nice to be out and hopefully soon on his own two legs, too. “I do not blame people for looking.”

“Good.” Iwao lifted up his beer. “To Takeshi’s gorgeous assets then.”

They celebrated with a laugh.

**

“Oh, God.” Satoru cringed seeing the lights coming from the room on top of the high building, the music already ringing in his ears.

Takeshi chuckled. “Uh-huh.” He could feel his blood pumping. He was here for business, but the stress he was dealing with lately and the horrible information made him wish for a night he could not remember the next day.

When they walked inside the lift and Takeshi put the card in which was meant to take them to the top, Satoru faced him. “How much do you know the guy?”

“I’ve met him once or twice.” Takeshi explained. “Then began hearing rumours about him so I need to dig a little deeper.”

Satoru hummed, looking him up and down again.

“It will help,” Takeshi shrugged but seeing the suspicion in his eyes, quickly added: “I am not going to do anything horrible.”

“You would not be jealous earlier if you had a plan to, would you?” Or did the boy had double standards?

“Obviously.” Takeshi sighed. Well, he deserved people to be unsure of him. “One more thing.” He said as the lift stopped and they made their way to the wide golden door at the end of the corridor.

“Go on.”

Takeshi faced him. “I want to have some fun. Please let me.”

Satoru wanted to snort, but the empty eyes stopped him.

**

Satoru hated parties. First, he did not like people, so to have them everywhere around him, so close, mostly drunk and acting like idiots made him cringe. Second, his job was to always keep another person safe, and this made it more than difficult. Third, it was so fucking loud!

The apartment was huge filled with guests dancing to changing lights and music, and he followed Takeshi who already spotted the boxer sitting comfortably on a long, white leather sofa, with his arms stretched out, women and men close. A smile formed on his face when he noticed Takeshi and he stood up leaving them behind unhappy.

“Takeshi.” His eyes were already hungrily undressing him, and Satoru tensed seeing it. What was the old fuck even hoping for? “I am so happy you could make it.” He spread his arms and Takeshi went into them willingly.

“Lovely to see you, Raiden.” He grinned and surprising him and Satoru, walked right back to his bodyguard. “And that’s Satoru.” Takeshi put his hand on his shoulder, charming smile on his face.

“Oh, yeah.” Raiden’s happiness was fake, but Satoru could see the curiosity. “Who could forget our last fight.” Now the grin was real and Satoru felt his hand itching, begging to twist in a fist and punch that face.

“How come you never fought again?” Takeshi still has not moved and Satoru wondered what he was doing. Why was he keeping a hold of him?

“Oh, we were meant to.” Raiden answered instead. “But Satoru disappeared soon after.”

“Your father became sick then,” Satoru said quietly to Takeshi, clearly not keen on continuing the conversation.

The understanding showed on Takeshi’s face, maybe even sadness. But Satoru could tell Takeshi felt sadder for him than his own father and it only made the matter worse.

“I never had the chance to say,” Raiden began a little awkwardly, “I am sorry for your loss.”

Satoru nodded. He did not focus on whether it was sincere or not, maybe a dig at him failing Katsu, maybe a dig at their relationship, but he realised he was one of the few who actually said the words to him. Not that it mattered.

“Well, grab yourself a drink, you two, I will catch up with you later.” Raiden sneaked a quick kiss on Takeshi’s cheek, and left them, Takeshi quickly pushing Satoru towards the huge balcony where many were standing already. But Satoru was glad because at least he could breath there. Takeshi was still hanging on him and Satoru felt bitter taste in his mouth. Why did he even introduce him to the bastard? He knew they knew each other and if Takeshi just ignored him, he would not need to talk about Katsu or the fight.

“Are you okay?” Takeshi asked, hand on Satoru’s chest.

What was he trying to do? Look like a couple? Satoru bit his teeth together in anger.

“Perfectly fine,” he said sarcastically.

“Clearly.” Takeshi took his hand off, face surprised.

“Why did you do it?” Satoru snapped.

“Excuse me?” What did he do wrong again?

“You know very fucking well we know each other yet you introduce me to him to humiliate me, have me talk about Katsu out of all people, and…”

“No.” Takeshi said quietly and Satoru stopped. Was Takeshi angry? HE was angry! “Me humiliating you? When you’ve told me he knows you I’ve realised that one of the reasons he invited me here was to humiliate you. So I’ve done my best to not let him…”

“By hanging on me?” Satoru snorted. Please.

“Oh I am so sorry you had to feel my touch for a second,” Takeshi whispered. “I understand you were too disgusted to notice how it completely threw him off, because the second reason he invited me here was to screw me and instead he saw me hanging on his enemy who he wanted to make a joke of the evening.”

Satoru starred. “Or maybe you just wanted a f…”

“Don’t.” Takeshi stopped him. He closed his eyes for just a moment, breathing in to relax. “I still feel your hands around my throat whenever you touch me or I need to touch you.” His voice was pained. “Don’t you dare to suggest I’d want anything to do with you.” He lifted his hand when Satoru opened his mouth. And then he walked away, leaving Satoru on his own with people around him, the music coming from the outside and he saw the cars driving many levels below them as he leaned forward.

Fuck.

**

“God, I miss my wife.” Nobu said suddenly, rolling his eyes when they collectively made a disgusted noise. “Oh, fuck off, you guys.”

“My wife is having the time of her life, so…” Iwao shrugged.

“You two were never the cuddly type anyway.” Kin stretched out his legs as his stomach was filled to its limits.

“No.” Iwao finished his beer. “We always dealt no our own as well as separately and it worked. We both like some space.”

“I depend on the mood.” Kin smiled happily. “I would not mind a cuddle tonight.”

“You can get one from Isao, I don’t think his boy will come back any time soon.” Iwao joked.

“Well, we will see. Considering he is with my father I doubt he will enjoy it that much.” Isao waved for the waiter to bring them more alcohol.

“They seem to be getting along fine, don’t they?” Kin asked, a little unsure whether to touch the subject.

“Satoru seems to have changed.” Nobu added.

“I do not see it.” Isao thanked the waiter when he brought them more drinks.

“I don’t think you want to see it.” Nobu leaned forward. “Nobody will ever forget what he did to Takeshi, but I remind you that you were the one who asked him for help.”

“I hate him but I know he is the best bodyguard,” Isao explained. “And I knew that if he would agree, he would fulfil his duty, no matter personal feelings.”

“Can’t really see him being any good if I am honest.” Kin scratched his neck.

“Do you think he is doing it on purpose?” Isao asked.

“Huh? Oh, no.” Kin did not mean it to sound so. “Why, do you think that?” he asked surprised.

“All this talk about him not letting a hair drop from Katsu’s head, always ridiculing that I fail Takeshi, and what is he doing? Fucking up all the time.” Isao put the glass down loudly.

“Theoretically you should be happy that you proved him wrong, you’re as good as him, it’s Takeshi who is more difficult to protect.”

“I’d rather my father prove me wrong and Takeshi to not get hurt again.”

Nobu smiled. “Of course you do. But I will need to speak in his defence,” he sighed seeing unhappy faces of his friends. “Okay, let’s get some facts out.” He straightened up. “First, Satoru went with Takeshi to get the medicine for you, and as you later told us, saved his life and that pretty spectacularly. It’s quite impressive considering they have only just started working together. Second, the whole situation with Rin…” They were quiet for a moment. “Let’s be frank, Satoru would have never ignored Takeshi’s fear. When Takeshi told us he does not trust Rin, we ridiculed him and forced to accept the boy who later betrayed him in the worst way. Satoru would have the bastard as far away as possible from Takeshi. We are responsible for what happened. Not only we did not support Takeshi, we’ve pretty much worked against him.”

“We do not know how Satoru would react, really.” Iwao said in their defence.

“You can guess from the way he acts already.” Nobu said.

“I have not seen anything special from him.” Kin disagreed.

“I spoke to Nalin after the shooting, he said Satoru did a good job.”

“If not Haru, Takeshi would end up dead.” Iwao shook his head.

“He mentioned Satoru’s behaviour after. I had a moment where I thought maybe Satoru really does it on purpose, but Nalin said that it seemed to hurt his ego a lot.” Nobu shrugged. “Look, we do not know this guy, hell knows what really sits in his head, but I do think he wants to do a good job.”

Isao sighed. “I think it shows that they had no training.”

“Training?” Kin asked confused.

“Takeshi and me went through training before Takeshi had to take over. We had time to get used to each other, learn behaviours, train in fake environment, all that shit. Katsu and my father did the same when they were teens.” Isao explained. “So when you think about it, even putting aside what happened between them and is still fresh, my father has not been a bodyguard for years, he never trained with Takeshi, he is also used to Katsu…” He lifted his shoulders. “Takeshi was suddenly forced to trust a man who tortured him, it’s fucked up.” Isao blamed himself for doing it to him.

“You’ve done the best you could at the time.” Nobu knew that Isao’s bad mood was not coming from his injury but this whole situation.

“Or the worst possible.”

“If Satoru would want to harm Takeshi, he would have done so already.” Iwao added.

“Maybe he is not careful enough so others would do the job for him.” Kin suggested.

Nobu shook his head. “He’d let him die in the sea if that was the case, but he jumped after him knowing he can die himself.”

“He fell fucking asleep.” Isao said angrily.

“That makes me think he is doing it on purpose.” Kin crossed his arms over his chest.

“I think he does not care enough,” Isao looked away. “And it is ironic because he always said I care too much and that’s why I fail.”

“If he cared, he wouldn’t have fallen asleep.” Kin bit the inside of his cheek.

“I did not expect him to care at all.” Isao said. “But since for him it’s the duty on its own that’s enough, I did not think it matters.”

“Do you think he will learn to care?” Nobu asked.

“Do you think he will stop hating him in the first place?” Iwao asked the question they actually had on their mind.

None of them answered.

**

Satoru found Takeshi sitting by the bar with his back towards him. He walked up to him and sat by, Takeshi quickly looking away to dry his eyes. Satoru ordered himself a drink and then moved to face Takeshi and grasped the bar stool he was sat on and pulled it closer to him. Takeshi caught the sit to not fall, surprised.

“I am sorry.”

Takeshi laughed and grabbed his drink, gulping it down in one go.

“I am sorry.”

“So what?” Takeshi lifted the glass, telling the bartender to bring him another. “I am never going to be anything but a dumb whore to you, why do you apologise for things you will say again?”

“I do not think you’re that.” Satoru cringed.

“No, it just comes out of your mouth every time you breath.”

Satoru grasped his knees and made him turn towards him, and saw the boy’s face lost, not angry. Takeshi gave up.

“I do not think badly of you at all.” Satoru said clearly. “I talk before thinking when I am mad, and nothing throws me off more than the mention of your father. I am sorry. Slap me if I ever do it again. Don’t take it to your heart.”

He shook his head. “I’d bring him back to you if I could,” Takeshi said quietly.

Satoru smiled. “You did.”

“Right.” The trip seemed a long time ago.

“Not only that.” Satoru sighed. Here we go. “The reason I can’t control myself as well as I do with others is because you’re so much like him.” He never wanted to admit this. “It throws me off.”

Takeshi finally looked up. “You always said I am nothing like him.”

“I lied.”

**

He watched the kid dancing with whoever was the closest, people clinging to him like leeches seeing the tastiest blood. Well, wasn’t he? Like Takeshi reminded him, he was the boss of Yakuza, those people thought he had everything they wanted. Although he was unsure how many of them recognised him.

Takeshi was licking and sniffing the drugs one after another, swallowing with alcohol, and Satoru did not know how he did not drop dead yet.

He was getting really used to them, wasn’t he?

Takeshi wanted fun. So Satoru was letting him do whatever he wanted, even when he saw Raiden licking his lips and wrapping his arm around him, bringing him into a dance that Isao would kill him for. It was tolerable until he saw the hands wonder way too much for comfort, and not only Satoru’s, because he could see Takeshi trying to subtly get out of his grip. It did not work, Raiden’s hands tightening and the joy was gone from Takeshi’s eyes.

“I am stealing this dance.” Satoru showed up by Takeshi so suddenly and Raiden grit his teeth together but had nothing to say as Satoru’s arm wrapped around Takeshi’s middle and brought him into an embrace not wasting time on waiting or permission. It was not Raiden’s choice.

Takeshi relaxed when the man left and put his hand and chin on top of Satoru’s shoulder, his other hand grasped by him as they slowly rocked to music. “Is that okay?”

“Of course.” Thank fuck it was a slow song.

“Thanks for saving me.”

“I wish it was always this easy.”

Takeshi smiled. “When was the last time you danced?”

“A very long time ago.”

“With dad?”

“Yes.” Satoru was quiet for a moment, and he appreciated how the dance let him look around them, watching the room for the asshole, making sure he was far away. “He had better and worse days, and one day I did not know what to do when he lost it, so I grabbed him into a dance. Don’t judge,” he sighed, memories painful. If he had to make a fool out of himself to make Katsu happy when he was feeling the worst, he was not thinking twice.

Takeshi listened in silence. “That’s what I fear,” he whispered finally, surprising himself with sudden sincerity. “I do not want Isao to go through this.” If Satoru was still in so much pain after so many years…

“You need to fight.” Satoru brought him a little closer. “You are going to get worse. So get worse from the medicine, not the poison.”

Takeshi hid his smile in his neck. He felt lightheaded and Satoru’s strong hold was helpful. “I can always count on you to be honest.”

“Indeed.”

The music ended and Takeshi straightened up. “Shall we go home?”

“You’re done with partying?” Satoru let him go, slightly surprised. He thought they would stay till the morning. 

“Yes.” Gone were the days he could party till the morning. Besides, he missed his men.

“Let’s go then.” Thank fucking God.

**

Standing in the lift Satoru suddenly noticed Takeshi reaching between his skinny legs, and he blinked, not believing what he was seeing. But the kid brought up a wallet with a satisfied smirk on his face and opened it.

It was Raiden’s.

“When did you…?” Satoru was gobsmacked. And then he laughed.

“He was so busy trying to get under my dress that he did not even notice me taking that out of his back pocket.” Takeshi snorted. “That’s why I had belts around my thighs too.”

“I did not look that closely.” He did.

“Sure.” He counted the cash.

“So this is what you meant saying you need to gather more information.”

“Precisely.” They walked outside the lift towards the car, now Takeshi hiding the wallet inside his jacket. He saw the car and something flashed right into his eyes, legs bending underneath him.

“What’s wrong?” Satoru grabbed him quickly. Takeshi seemed unable to stand on his own.

“I don’t know,” Takeshi murmured. His whole world was turning and he felt sick. “Just give me a second.” It was probably the drugs. At least they did not threw him off his feet when he was still up there.

Satoru kept his arm around his back and the other holding Takeshi’s hand, trying to push him forward. But Takeshi made one step and his legs gave up under him, Satoru quickly catching him and lifting in his arms. It worried him when he felt like a puppet, and Satoru made his way to the car and after opening its doors, he sat Takeshi in the front passenger’s sit.

“Takeshi?” He sat by on the edge of the sit. “Talk to me.”

He murmured something, head rolling to the side.

“Come on, kid.” He shook him. What the hell was going on?

“I don’t know,” Takeshi whimpered, feeling drunk, trying to move. Nothing made sense. “I can’t feel my legs.”

Satoru froze.

“And my hand…” Takeshi choked, realising what he was saying, what was happening to him.

Satoru shook his head and secured him, seconds later already in the driver’s sit, making his way to the hospital. It better be the fucking drugs. It better be the fucking drugs.

“I don’t know what’s going on.” Was Takeshi crying? Satoru looked to the side when he stopped on the red light. The kid was clearly trying to remain calm, but the fear was clear on his face.

“You probably overdosed, it’s nothing, you will be fine.” He grasped his hands. “Calm down.”

The mascara was already running down his cheeks.

“What if it’s the poison? What if…” Takeshi was making himself panic and Satoru tightened his hold. “Satoru.”

“You’re going to be fine.”

“Satoru!”

Another fucking red light, he stopped a bit too abruptly and looked at him again as Takeshi spoke.

“Listen to me.” Takeshi was suddenly too calm and Satoru did not like it. “If this is the poison frying my nerves…”

“Don’t.” Satoru heard those upcoming words before.

“I don’t want to live like this. Don’t you dare to allow me to live like this, with no control of my body, they will want to keep me like this, you can’t let them, don’t…” He sobbed, panicking. Please, God, no. This was not how he wanted to die. Without any control, nothing, lying there watching everything but not being able to talk, move, maybe even think, and those fools would keep him alive and take care of nothing but a body… Please, no. Please. “Wait!” He choked when they arrived at the hospital and Satoru showed up by him, ready to pick him up. “Promise to me that you will end this.”

Satoru was pale but he took a deep breath in and finally spoke. “I promise.” He grabbed Takeshi without another word. This is the moment you help, Katsu, he thought. You fucking throw some magic shit on us and ensure this is not the fucking poison frying his fucking nerves, God, fucking, damnit!

He quickly found a nurse and ordered for her to find their doctor, not caring how nasty he sounded, Takeshi was so quiet and he started panicking himself.

“Satoru?” The doctor asked surprised, the nurse right by his side, sending Satoru a dirty look. He clearly did not recognise Takeshi at first, but it clicked quickly. “Come in.” He opened the door to the closest room for patients.

Satoru laid Takeshi on top of the bed, as careful as possible. Takeshi’s face was wet from tears, but he either lost the strength to cry or gathered himself.

“What’s going on?” The doctor asked, leaning over him.

“I can’t feel my hands or legs,” Takeshi whispered, the concern growing on doctor’s face making him close his eyes. He was not ready for this, but his mind was working in overdrive. He had to think of something. He did not trust Satoru’s words. And Isao had the last word about his health when he was not able to make the decision.

Isao would not kill him.

Satoru watched as the doctor began checking on Takeshi, the boy looking up towards the ceiling, thinking about things he should not be thinking, the nurse taking blood samples. Satoru explained what happened as clearly as possible, wanting to help.

“Takeshi, look at me.” The doctor spoke finally. “I do not believe this is the poison. You have not lost the feeling in your body, it is reacting. We have to wait for the results, but I think it’s the drugs.”

“Or the tumour,” Takeshi murmured.

“What tumour?” Satoru asked looking from one to another, but they ignored him.

“Possibly. But we will wait with the scan.”

“Okay.”

“Takeshi.” He touched his cheek. “It is going to be okay.”

**

“What tumour?” Satoru sat by Takeshi’s side on the bed when the doctor left. They attached him to some cables monitoring his heart, gave him a nasal cannula, IV, a lot considering the doctor said everything was going to be fine. He was shivering a little under the blanket and Satoru threw his jacket over him, too.

“My tumour,” Takeshi murmured. He was looking around the room as if he was not sure where he was.

“You’ve got a tumour, too?” Satoru asked in disbelief.

“Yes.”

“And you’re not doing anything about that, either?”

“No.”

Satoru stood up, pissed off, and walked up to the window. What the actual fuck. What was this dumb kid doing? When he turned back to him, wanting to shout, Takeshi was looking at him, cheeks black from the mascara.

“Your make-up is all over your face.”

“It was meant to be waterproof,” Takeshi mumbled.

“They’ve lied to you.”

“Had it worse.”

“Really?” Satoru sat by him. The brat was completely out of it.

He was quiet for a moment. “Remember when you lied to me that my wife died because of me…that was…” Takeshi starred up, eyes blank.

Satoru scratched his neck. This was the last thing he thought Takeshi will bring up. It wasn’t exactly his dumb ass idea, it was Katsu’s. He thought it was enough that Takeshi found himself a wife instead of sticking with Isao, but Katsu… Sometimes Satoru was not sure himself.

“You know what’s funnier?” Takeshi put his cheek on the pillow to face him. “I fooled you first.” The satisfied grin was worth millions.

“Huh?” Satoru noticed how big Takeshi’s pupils were, his eyes so dark it was always difficult to see the difference, but now he could barely see the iris.

He could remember telling Katsu that his child is an omen, but he did not find it funny.

“Isao did not want a wife,” Takeshi said quietly. “He loved me, to him it was such a betrayal to even look for someone, even if we knew he had no choice. Besides, your son is gay as you have noticed, so that only made it harder. So I knew it had to be me.” He smiled, somehow sadly. “I watched Umiko for a while, then started acting as if I was falling in love with her so everybody around me, including Isao, would think that I genuinely did.” He watched Satoru’s face becoming a mask of shock. “I knew that if I found a woman first, Isao would marry, too. I knew I had to trick everyone, including him and her, for this to be believable. And I knew everybody was more likely to believe that I betrayed, not him.”

“You’re making this up.” Satoru listened in disbelief.

“Why would I?”

“Because you want me to kill you.”

“I will wait for the results first.” Takeshi smiled.

“It does not make sense.” Satoru furrowed his eyebrows. “Why would you fool Isao?”

“Isao is a horrible actor. You and my father would see through him within seconds.”

“But the whole point was so you two could be together.”

“He was meant to find out eventually.”

“So why he did not?”

“Because father called me to tell that Nanase murdered her.”

“Why have you waited so long to tell him?”

“Business. We needed to be married and have children. Once that was sorted, anything could happen.”

“So you did not tell him because life sorted it out for you. There was no point in telling him a lie that others erased for you.”

“No,” Takeshi said quietly. “Nanase and you two complicated it horribly so.”

“Umiko was gone, you two could do whatever you wanted.”

“Umiko did not deserve what happened to her. I’ve pulled her into a game and she paid the highest price. It was my fault. She deserved revenge. It was a relief when I found out that she actually survived, her memory was erased and she started a normal life.”

“You got a heart attack.”

“I found out I was played for years.”

Satoru snorted. “Must have hurt realising we’ve fooled you too.”

“I thought an innocent woman lost her life because of me, my son lost a mother and chance for a normal childhood, it all fucked me up forever and I nearly lost my whole family. But, yes, of course, I was mostly bitter because it turned out you were the puppet master from the beginning.” Takeshi said angrily.

“You could have given him a normal childhood, it was your choice to go nuts.”

“And I took the blame. You did not.”

“It was your father’s idea.”

“Whatever.” Takeshi turned his head away.

Satoru opened his mouth to argue more, but the doctor walked back inside, shutting them both up.

“You can relax.” He said first, and sat on the chair opposite to Satoru who tried to focus on what he was saying now. “The drugs caused this, so you should be fine in no time.”

Takeshi breathed out in relief, a small desperate laugh escaping his throat. His body was going to work again. His body was going to be fine. “I am sorry,” he whispered, feeling the tears, he’d hide them if he could lift his hand, but everything was still seemingly moving in front of his eyes and he bit his teeth together. Just wait.

“Do not apologise, I understand why you panicked.” The doctor grasped a wet wipe from the tray on the side, and cleaned Takeshi’s cheeks off tears and make up.

“Which drug?” Satoru asked.

“It was my first guess when you described the symptoms, but I wanted to confirm first.” He stood up to throw away the wipe. “It was flunitrazepam.”

“What?” Takeshi asked.

“Roofies. Date rape drug.” Whatever the youngsters were calling them now.

Takeshi shook his head in embarrassment, not noticing Satoru freezing. “I am sorry…”

“What are you apologising for?” Satoru snapped.

He looked at him unsurely. Why was Satoru so mad? “I panicked thinking my nerves are being fried, cried and had you promise you’re going to kill me if it happens, and it turns out it’s just a fucking rape drug…” He wanted to burn from shame.

“Just?!” Satoru could not believe what he was hearing. “That fucking dick wanted to rape you!” He stood up, anger filling his veins. What kind of reaction was that? Like it was not a big deal?!

“It’s my fault,” Takeshi murmured.

“It’s not your fault,” The doctor and Satoru said at once.

Takeshi sighed quietly, no strength to argue. He was ashamed of making a scene, but it made him realise how scared he was of what could possibly happen next because of the poison. What if it will paralyse him one day? What would he do?

“It felt different this time,” he said quietly.

“This is not the first time you were drugged?” Satoru asked in disbelief. It was a night of news, that’s for fucking sure.

“No.” Takeshi sinked lower underneath the blankets. “It was a long time ago, though.”

“When?”

“Satoru, can you sit down?” The doctor looked at him, not appreciating the harsh tone he was using. Takeshi was drugged, mumbling, not controlling what he was saying nor doing.

Satoru starred in anger, but did as told.

“Early days in Underground, some guy slipped them into my drink, took me upstairs.” Takeshi closed his eyes. He was so tired, the adrenaline gone from his body.

Satoru and the doctor looked at each other in concern.

“Have you told anybody about this?” The doctor leaned closer.

“About what?” Takeshi opened his eyes, now the light making him cringe.

“Did he…?”

“Oh, no.” Takeshi shook his head. “I don’t remember much, but Nalin’s dad got him off me before he did anything.”

Satoru breathed out in relief. At least that.

“You’re going to give us a heart attack one day.” The doctor stroked his hair. All that hair only made him look smaller.

“I should be dead before that happens.” Takeshi chuckled.

“Don’t say that.” He put his hand on his forehead. “You think Nalin would let you?”

“I don’t think he has a choice.” Takeshi leaned his head towards his touch. “You’re going to take care of my boy when I die, right?”

“You’re not going to die, Takeshi,” he said calmly.

“If you would let him keep on practicing here…”

“Takeshi, stop. I’ve managed to save you since you were a baby, and when I was losing hope, it was one of your family who did not let me. You telling us to stop only makes us look more.”

“I think the boys accepted what’s going to happen…”

“You think so?” He smiled. “In the past few weeks every single one of them came to either me or Nalin with ideas, guesses, information. They’re all looking for a way to save you behind your back.”

Takeshi starred at him in shock and his eyes teared up but he quickly blinked them away. “I did not know,” he murmured. He knew they cared but he felt like they relaxed lately, but it turned out they were simply working behind his back instead. And that made his heart warm.

“They love you. So fight for them when they ask you to.” The doctor straightened up. “Now… Are you going to stay in the hospital over night?” Takeshi’s cringe was enough of an answer. “Okay, listen to me carefully,” he looked at them both, “the drug will be in your system up to twenty-four hours and you can’t be on your own at any time.”

“I will take him home.” Satoru offered.

“I don’t want to go home,” Takeshi protested. “I don’t want anybody to know.”

Both Satoru and the doctor sighed, still frustrated that he felt ashamed.

“I don’t care where you two go as long as one person will watch over you for the night and preferably all of tomorrow.” The man said.

“I will. Do not worry.” Satoru nodded his head.

“Okay.” He should not really trust Satoru, should he? Maybe he was fooled by the way he behaved today. “You need to wait for the IV to finish, you should slowly began to feel your body again now, too. I will check on you next hour, now rest.” He squeezed his hand and stood up.

“Thank you.” Takeshi smiled. When the doctor left, his cheek touched the pillow, so he could see Satoru better. “You’re okay?”

He nodded, eyes on the bed.

Takeshi did not say more.

**

Satoru watched him sleep, not even thinking about taking a quick nap himself. He overlooked enough. And, really, he knew that he could not control the drugs, it was one thing checking if the bartender does not slip anything in the drink, but impossible to control what kind of drugs someone was taking, when they were being handed out like sweets.

But Takeshi’s panic was not going to let him sleep tonight.

Mafia Boss or not, Takeshi was a kid to him. Finally, maybe, because he clearly forgot about it for too long. But to see him so scared, small in this ridiculous clothes, Katsu’s son, he was just a terrified kid he wanted to protect from this hell, but he could do so little.

And why as a kid he was working in a strip club, for hell’s sake. He was nearly raped!

Because his father was a fucking idiot, he thought to himself bitterly. And he had no right to speak considering what he did to him barely months ago. It gave him no right to speak. Well, he could, but he would sound like a complete fucking hypocrite.

He wanted to think that what Takeshi told him about the marriage was drugged mumbling but it made too much sense. Satoru was not sure how to feel about it, he was weirdly impressed and terrified.

They all could call Katsu a psychopath, but Takeshi clearly had his blood in his veins. Katsu always had two completely different personalities but Satoru saw it as how he acted with him, who he was comfortable with, versus absolutely everybody else. He was mentally unstable because of what his father did to him, and it all made sense. Takeshi on the other hand… There was one personality for his family, another for employees, and finally this manipulator who somehow felt similar to what Katsu was capable of and yet it felt harsher. Maybe because he fooled everybody, even Isao, maybe because he was more likely to excuse Katsu because they were together so seeing the same behaviour from the outside made a bigger impact, but it was all slightly worrying.

Did Katsu damage Takeshi more than Katsu’s father damaged his son?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments under the last chapter <3


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